Total Drama Island: Return to File Island
by CelticMagic
Summary: On a camping trip, the Digidestined are sucked back into the Digital World where they run back into Gennai, who is hosting the newest season of Total Drama Island. They compete with the Tamers, Legendary Warriors, and DATS to win the ultimate prize. Tune in as Gennai mercilessly taunts the contestants...oh, and to see who wins!
1. Not So Happy Campers Part 1

**Not So Happy Campers (Part 1)**

"This is where it all started," Tai waved his arms in the air.

"I guess I was lucky that I was sick that summer," Kari looked at her surroundings. The camp looked like it had been deserted for years. The weeds were towering over the trees and the cabins looked horribly dilapidated. "So this is what I missed out on, huh?"

"Hey! In our defense, this place was a lot nicer back then than it is now," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"But that would explain why we got to rent the cabins for 5 dollars each," Izzy said.

"No, we got the cabins for such a low price because I'm a bargain shopper," Mimi squealed. "If it weren't for this BarGAIN app," she pointed to her smartphone, "we wouldn't have scored this deal!"

"Sure, that's it...," Yolei dropped her duffel bag on her foot because she didn't want her bag in direct contact with the floor.

"Well, since we're already here, we might as well stay here," TK shrugged.

"Are you only saying that cause Dad already drove off?" Matt smirked.

"Yeah," TK sighed.

"But TK's right. We might as well make the most of it," Cody said in his raspy voice.

"How long are we going to be here for?" Davis whined.

"We told our parents a couple of days," Ken said.

"Days? I don't want to be here for days!" Yolei screamed.

"There's not even cell phone service around here!" Joe waved his phone in the air, trying to get some bars. "NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO FIND US!"

"Stop your bellyaching. We'll just have to rough it out," Tai kicked Joe in the bum. "Let's just put our stuff in the cabins for now."

"Whoa! Look at that!" Davis pointed at the sky. All of the kids looked up and saw an aurora in the sky.

"Not this again," Sora groaned.

"What do you mean by 'again'?" Ken's voice began to shake.

"You'll find out soon enough!" Matt yelled.

* * *

"Buenos dias! Coming to you live from File Island, I'm your host, Gennai!" a short, old man pauses. "Okay, so no applause? Fine. Anyways, I will be hosting the fifth season of the hottest reality TV show ever! In case you haven't watched any of the previous seasons (shame on you, by the way), lemme explain to you how this show works. Several contestants will be stranded on this two-star island and they will be divided into teams. These teams will compete against each other in the craziest challenges ever, then they will have to face the judgement of their fellow peers. Every several days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Loser Cruiser, and leave File Island for...EVER!"

Gennai walks over to a circle of logs. "Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. In the end, only one will be left standing. To survive, these contestants will face things like roaches, ugly digimon, crappy camp food, and each other! And to make it all awesome for you viewers, this whole island is covered in mini cameras, so you won't be missing a single moment!" Gennai winks.

"Now, you're all probably wondering why someone would want to sacrifice things we take for granted, like cleanliness, delicious food, fuzzy pink bathrobes, and privacy. Well, what if I told you that they're all competing with a chance to reunite with their digimon partner? Yep, I know! Awesome, huh? The last one standing will win the chance to keep their digimon partner forever. That's not all! To sweeten the deal, the winner will also receive one million buckaroos and an interview with Total Gamer Magazine. Isn't that sweet?" Gennai pets his balding head.

"Whooooaaaaa!" *_Crash*_

"What the hell was that?" Gennai looks around him nervously. He puts a headset on and presses the earpiece close to his face. "Uh huh...okay," he speaks into the mouthpiece. "Okay, so our contestants have now arrived! Come on, let's get a look at them!"

* * *

"Gfff off meeh," Davis mutters.

"You get off of me!" Yolei pulls on his googles and snaps them.

"OWWW!" Davis rubs his head.

"Will someone get off?" Izzy groaned.

"Yes, please!" Cody said. He was squished all the way at the bottom.

"Greetings children. Good to see you guys again. I just wish it were under better circumstances," Gennai walks over to the pile of children. All of the kids immediately got up.

"What do you mean under better circumstances?" TK asked.

"Well, you guys are here to compete in Total Drama Island, right?" Gennai asked.

"Total Drama...huh?" Mimi grabbed the top of her hair.

"Total Drama Island," Gennai repeated.

"Never heard of it," Matt shook his head.

"Well, now you have. Now, if you don't mind me, it's time to split you guys into teams!"

"But we don't want to be divided into teams. We just wanted to go camping," Tai protested.

"Hush, hush! Time to split up," Gennai said as he nudged Tai to the circle of logs. "Now there are twelve of you guys and I need to make 4 teams..." he rubbed his chin.

"That means you need 3 members in each group," Joe said.

"Oh, thanks Jim," Gennai smiled. "It takes longer for an old guy like me to come up with answers nowadays!"

"Jim's my brother," Joe whispered. Sora patted him on the shoulder out of pity.

"Now, everyone! Get in a straight line. I will give you a number, so don't forget it. Good!" Gennai marched over to the kids and began counting. "1...2...3...4...1...2...3...4...1...2...3...4! Okay! Team 1, over here. Team 2, there. Team 3, there. And Team 4...here. Now I'm giving you the guys the opportunity to come up with your own team names. Five minutes!" Gennai pulled a timer out of his robe and turned the knob. The kids started to huddle up into their groups and started to talk.

_*Ding!* _"Time's up! Team 1, what name did you guys come up with?" Gennai said.

Tai, Davis, and Matt stepped closer to Gennai. "We came up with the name Kick-Ass Firepower!" Matt said as Tai and Davis gave each other high-fives.

"Okay, then...Team 2?" Gennai fiddled with his mustache.

"The Brain Brigade," Joe gave Gennai a thumbs-up. Izzy and Cody just shrugged. This was one of those rare times where they've witnessed Joe being enthusiastic about anything.

"Well if that isn't the nerdiest name I ever heard," Gennai made a face. "Team 3?"

"THE VAGINAS!" Yolei yelled. All of the boys stared at her.

"What?" Mimi's jaw dropped.

"That is NOT the name we decided on!" Sora growled.

"And that is NOT the name we are going to use," Gennai rubbed his temples. "Team 4! I assume you guys have a good team name?

"Yeah! We're calling ourselves the KKK," Kari said proudly. Ken nodded as TK shook his head.

"The WHAT?" Gennai gasped.

"The KKK," Ken explained calmly. "You take the K from Kari, the K from Ken, and the K from TK...and that's how you get KKK! Genius, right?"

* * *

_Camera Confession:_

"I told them we should have went with the name TKK instead, but did anyone listen to me?" TK shrugs. "I'll give you a hint...NO."

"When does anyone listen to you though?" the camera pans over to Davis, who is sitting at the corner of the outhouse.

"Hey! What are you doing here? This is my private time!" TK gasps.

"Please, you wank off in public anyways," Davis rolls his eyes.

"No...," TK stares at him. "You do."

"Okay, you got me there," Davis sighs, stares at the camera, and nods.

* * *

"Figures...I should have came up with the names by myself," Gennai popped some baby asprin in his mouth. "From now on, Team 1," he pointed to Tai, Matt, and Davis, "will be Courageous Friendship. Team 2," he pointed at Izzy, Cody, and Joe. "You will be known as Reliable Knowledge. Vaginas...I mean, Team 3," he pointed to Yolei, Mimi, and Sora, "your team name is Sincere Love. And Team 4, you guys will be called The Leftovers."

"The Leftovers?" Kari winced.

"I guess that's us," TK shrugged.

"But why are we called The Leftovers?" Ken frowned.

"I don't know. But anything would be better than being called Vaginas," TK smirked.

"That's true," Kari shrugged. "Leftovers!" she put her fist in the air.

"Leftovers!" TK and Ken joined her.

"Okay, that wasn't weird..." Gennai said.

_*Beep beep beep* _"What now?" Gennai took his beeper out of his belt and put his headset back on. "Uh huh...well why didn't you say so before? Well, I have an excuse. I'm old! What excuse do you have? Okay, fine! I will," he clicks a button on his earpiece and puts his headset away. "Okay, kids. I've got some...interesting news to tell you."

"What is it, old guy?" Davis said.

"Well..." Gennai bit his lip. "You'll see..."


	2. Not So Happy Campers Part 2

**Recap: **The Digidestined go on a camping trip, only to be sucked back into the Digital World (and a reality TV show). Gennai explains the gist of the show and divides the kids into four teams. After the teams are established, Gennai gets a mystery call that might surprise everyone.

* * *

**Not So Happy Campers (Part 2)**

"Who the heck are these people?" Tai asked.

"These are the other contestants," Gennai said casually.

"What do you mean _other_ contestants?" Sora put her hands on her hips.

"For your information, you guys weren't the only kids with digimon," Gennai said.

"Somehow I feel less special than before," Davis pouted.

"Don't worry, you'll always be extra special to me," Kari wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Really?" Davis's eyes lit up. "She thinks I'm special!"

Matt leaned in close to Davis and whispered in his ear, "I think you and Kari are talking about different types of special."

"Ahem!" Gennai loudly cleared his throat. "If we're done establishing how special Davis is, can we go on and meet the other contestants?"

"Fine," Cody sighed.

"Okay, here are they are! Say hi to Takato, Henry, Rika, Kenta, Kazu, Jeri, Ryo, Takuya, Koji, Kouichi, Zoe, JP, Tommy, Marcus, Thomas, and Yoshi," Gennai pointed to each kid.

"Yoshi? Isn't that the name of a turtle?" Yolei said.

"My parents were obsessed with the Super Mario video games," Yoshi muttered. "I hate my parents."

"Well, isn't that nice! Get to know each other while I make some important phone calls," Gennai put his headset back on and walked away.

"So, you guys also had digimon partners?" Mimi asked.

"Not us, babe!" Takuya winked at Mimi and puffed his chest out.

"We're way cooler because we can turn into digimon! Beat that," Zoe bragged.

"Big whoop!" Rika rolled her eyes. "Not only do we have digimon partners, but we can also combine with them to become mega form digimon," Rika scoffed.

"Talk about the best of both worlds, right?" Takato laughed nervously.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I don't think I like these new kids that much," Mimi pouts. "Especially that blonde girl. I mean, did you see what she was wearing? That hat is super ugly, and I should know; I've seen a lot of ugly hats in my lifetime. And don't even get me started on that sweatsuit/skirt/whatever that is." She pretends to stick a finger down her throat.

* * *

"Hey Ken! Haven't seen you in a while," Ryo smiles and walks up to Ken. "You look a lot better than the last time I saw you!"

"Heh heh, yeah..." Ken rubbed his arm. "You too, buddy!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I feel bad but I don't know who this guy is," Ken shakes his head. "Do you think he'll notice if I pretend to know him?"

* * *

Jeri taps Koji and Kouichi on the shoulder. "Hey, are you guys twins?"

"Nope. We're half-brothers*. That's why we have different last names," Koji said.

"Oh. For half-brothers, you guys look a lot alike."

"Yeah, we get that all the time," Kouichi flashed a timid smile.

* * *

"Okay, I'm back!" Gennai took off his headset. "Did you guys get acquainted? Honestly, I don't care...now let's get to business. I guess I have to finish dividing you guys into teams," he sighed.

"Whoa!" Takato yelled as Gennai grabbed him and pushed him towards a team.

"I don't think this is proper protocol," Thomas said as the old man nudged him towards another team.

"You touch me, and I'll make sure your death goes a lot faster than you expected," Rika growled.

"Feisty one there," Gennai raised his eyebrows. He simply pointed to a group and she walked over. "Now, time to keep dividing!" he said as he pushed Kouichi full force into The Leftovers. Kari caught him before he could fall to the ground.

"Welcome to the team, buddy," TK patted him on the back.

* * *

The division of the teams went smoothly until...

"NOOOOO! I wanna be on the same team as Kazu!" Kenta whined.

"Well, too bad. You can't pick your teammates. Now shut up and go to your assigned team," Gennai pushed Kenta away. Kenta stumbled and fell on Marcus's feet.

"Wanna fall on me again?" Marcus picked Kenta up by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey! You leave him alone!" Tai shoved Marcus. "It's not like he did it on purpose!"

"Yeah!" Davis butted in.

Marcus dropped Kenta to the ground and began walking towards Tai. "It's fighting time!" he clenched his fist and stretched his arm back.

"Stop!" Rika yelled.

"Rika?" Takato, Henry, and Kazu gasped in unison. Jeri's puppet slipped out of her hand.

"As fun as it is to see two goons kill the crap out of each other, I don't think I can handle this," Rika jerked her thumb at her group, "anymore. I'll gladly trade spots with Kenta!"

"Hey! What did we ever do to you?" Yolei crossed her arms.

"Be annoying," Rika responded back.

"Is that allowed?" Tommy raised his hand.

Gennai rubbed his chin and looked pensive. "Meh, why the hell not! Switch," he motioned at Rika and Kenta.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Thank god the old dustbag let me switch teams. If I had to deal with those girls any longer...," Rika pulls out a Barbie. She then proceeds to pop the head off the doll. "Heads will roll. The one with the purple hair would be first. Trust me on that." She glares at the camera and throws the doll head straight ahead.

_*static*_

* * *

_Hours later..._

"It seems like we finally have our teams established. That was way more exhausting than I imagined it would be," Gennai wiped his forehead. "This is how the teams are divided up:

**Team One: Courageous Friendship**

Tai, Matt, Davis, Rika, Takato, Takuya, Marcus

**Team Two: Reliable Knowledge**

Izzy, Joe, Cody, Henry, Koji, Tommy, Thomas

**Team Three: Vaginas...errm, I mean Sincere Love**

Sora, Mimi, Yolei, Kenta, Kazu, Zoe, Yoshi

**Team Four: The Leftovers**

TK, Kari, Ken, Jeri, Ryo, JP, Kouichi

"Now that we've got our teams, I've got to explain some stuff. Yeah, I know...boring, but I have to do it. First off, you see that outhouse over there? The one with the satellite dish sticking out of the top?"

All of the kids nod their heads.

"That is the Confession Camera booth. It seems like some of you guys have already gotten acquainted with it. If you feel the need to rant or tell the world your deepest, darkest secrets, that outhouse is the place to do so. Just please be courteous of everyone else, and try not to spend so much time in there. Seriously. Next up, NEVER insult the chef's cooking skills, at least not to her face. No matter how much the food sucks...she gets a bit touchy about that. With further ado, here is your chef," Gennai signaled someone over.

"Mom?" Tai and Kari said in unison.

"Hi, kids!" Mrs. Kamiya waved. "Whaddaya think? When Gennai asked me if I wanted to be on TV, I just couldn't say no!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Great... not that I'm not happy for my mom or anything, but really?" Tai shakes his head.

"Congrats Mom?" Kari says uncertainly.

"If we don't die from the challenges, we'll probably die from food poisoning first," Tai rubs his forehead.

"On the bright side, Gennai will have to eat her food too," Kari pats Tai's back.

"That's true," Tai grins.

* * *

"Nice, now that we met you, go back to the kitchen," Gennai pushed Mrs. Kamiya away. "And for the record, I have my own personal chef so I don't have to eat the same Grade D slop you guys have to eat," he laughed cynically.

"Next up on the agenda, sleeping arrangements. Each team will be assigned its own cabin. Unfortunately, we have 4 teams and only 3 cabins so...Courageous Friendship, you get the red cabin, Reliable Knowledge gets the blue cabin, Sincere Love gets the green cabin and the Leftovers...you guys will have to share that," Gennai jerks his thumb at a pile of huge cardboard boxes. "I was even nice enough to convince the producers to throw in some garbage bags, so that your 'cabin' will stay dry when it rains."

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I understand that we're the 'Leftovers', but I think the old dude is taking this way too far," JP slams his fist into his palm. "He's only doing this because I'm big-boned, isn't he?"

* * *

"Now, that you're all familiar with the island, let me tell you about how this competition works. Every several days, you guys will participate in a challenge. The team that finishes the challenge best will win immunity. The team that performs the worst will have to vote off one of their members, and that member will have to walk the Dock of Shame and load up on the Loser Cruiser, never to return to the island," Gennai said. "What, Takuya?"

"I understand that this is on TV and all, but why are you putting us through all this hell? Shouldn't the last one standing get an awesome reward for well...being better than everyone else?"

"I was just getting to that," Gennai gritted his teeth. "Anyways, the number of contestants left will dwindle down after every elimination (obviously). When there are only two contestants left, they will compete head-to-head for the grand prize- what now?"

"What's the grand prize?" Henry asked.

"I was just getting to that...," Gennai's eye began to twitch. "Now, can all of you shut up so I can finish this spiel? Thank you. The winner of the competition will not only win a million dollars but the winner will also get to reunite with their digimon partner forever! What now, Zoe?"

"What about us? We don't have digimon partners because...we can spirit evolve!" she flicked her hair as the other Frontier kids nodded in agreement.

"If one of you guys win (that probably won't happen), you guys will have the ability to spirit evolve again," Gennai rolled his eyes.

"Yay!" the Frontier kids high-fived each other.

"You can stop now. Nobody cares that you can turn into digimon. Especially when you brag about it every five seconds," Yolei muttered.

"Yeah, the horn-dog is right," Gennai said. "If I hear you kids keep bragging about it, then you'll be paired up with Bokomon and Neemon if you win," Gennai pulled out a flask and took a sip out of it. The Frontier kids immediately became quiet and still. "Any more questions? Yes, Tommy?"

"How old are you?"

"I'm not answering that," Gennai said firmly. "Any OTHER questions?"

"Do we seriously have to sleep in those cardboard boxes?" TK asked.

"Questions about THE SHOW, please!" Gennai rubbed his forehead. He kept talking so he didn't give the kids a chance to raise their hands."No? Okay, then time for our first challenge!" he put a huge burlap sack to cover the kids' heads and he pulled them into a forest. "Don't worry, this challenge will be a piece of cake," he chuckled.

**Author's Note: Sorry, this chapter was boring but I needed to get the introduction out of the way. The action will start next chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

***Before you bite my head off (I know someone will!), let me just make myself clear: I know Koji and Kouichi are twins. This was just to poke fun at the Adventure dub, where Matt said he and TK were half-brothers.**


	3. Free Falls and Grab Bags

**Recap: **The Digidestined meet up with the Tamers, Legendary Warriors, and the DATS team, who will also be competing in the reality TV show. All of the contestants start getting to know each other a little, and it causes some friction, especially when these kids are grouped up along with the Adventure kids. After all of the teams are established, Gennai starts the game off with the first challenge.

* * *

**Free Falls and Grab Bags**

"Tada!" Gennai flourished.

"We can't see anything," Cody stated.

"That's because you're short," Gennai snapped.

"No! It's because you put this stupid bag on our heads!" JP whined.

"Yeah!" Yolei said.

"My hair's getting messed up!" Tai yelled.

"Your hair already looks messed up!" Sora giggled.

"Stop breathing all the air! We're all gonna suffocate and DIE if you guys keep inhaling all of the oxygen like the greedy people you are!" Joe panicked.

"Will someone take this bag off already?" Henry huffed.

"Fine," Gennai whipped the bag out of the kids's heads. "Isn't this view beautiful?"

"What the f-!" Davis screamed.

"Please don't tell me we're on a cliff," Thomas cut Davis off.

"Okay, I won't tell you. I'll just let you figure it out on your own," Gennai smiled.

"We're on a cliff?" Kazu yelled.

Gennai put his hands down by his side. "I was wondering when you guys would catch on. For Chosen Children, you guys aren't the sharpest tools in the shed."

"Well, what exactly are we doing on a cliff that might break off from all our weight?" Matt was getting irate.

"Your first challenge, of course!" Gennai smiled again.

"What? Already?" Davis moaned.

"Stop being a lazy bum! Anyways, this challenge is going to be divided into two parts. In the first part of the challenge," Gennai gestured to the cliff, "every one of you guys will have to jump off this thousand-foot high cliff!"

"Did you just say a thousand feet?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, I did!" Gennai took a deep breath, trying not to lose his patience. "Do you have a problem with that?"

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"When I was a little kid, I got lost at a department store. While trying to find my mom, I ran into these mean kids. I thought they just wanted to be my friends, but I was wrong! They grabbed me and tied me to the second-floor railing with a pashmina. I think I hung over that thing for at least a half-hour. Since then, I've been scared of heights," Tommy shudders. "And pashminas."

* * *

"All of you must jump off the cliff and hopefully, you land in the safe zone. For every person that successfully makes it into the safe zone, the team gets one point. If a person fails to make it in the safe zone, the team gets no points. If someone refuses to jump off the cliff, they must wear a chicken hat for the rest of the challenge. After everyone jumps, each team must run down the shore and pick a random crate. Inside each crate, there will be five random objects inside, where each team must build something with those items in three hours. The team who makes the coolest invention will win immunity from elimination and a pizza party. The team that makes the crappiest invention will have to face this season's first round of elimination, where they will have to vote off one of their beloved members. Any questions?"

Takato raised his hand. "Who gets to decide which invention is the coolest?"

"I do, of course," Gennai scoffed. "Next question?"

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Tai asked.

"What?" Gennai rubbed his temples. "I don't want to deal with this, so...the challenge starts now! Who's jumping first?"

"I am!" Marcus sprinted off the cliff. "It's fighting time!"

The other contestants watched as he dived off the cliff and made it into the safe zone. "Anyone else?" Gennai raised an eyebrow.

* * *

_A while later..._

"No, I'm not jumping!" Mimi shook her head.

"Neither am I," JP crossed his arms.

Jeri simply wiped her tears dry on her puppet.

"Come on! Even Tommy jumped, and he's scared of heights!" Gennai heckled.

"And I'm scared of getting my outfit ruined," Mimi stood akimbo.

"If you ask me, your outfit already looks messed up. I don't think I've seen colors clash any more than on your outfit!" Gennai snorted.

"That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me!" Mimi gasped.

"Someone has to jump!" Matt yelled.

"Oh yeah? If you're such a tough guy, then why don't you do it?" Zoe teased.

"If you're such a tough chick, then why don't you do it?" Matt yelled back.

"Stop it! I can't take any more of this!" Jeri began to sob heavily.

"This is the worst!" Yoshi hit her palm on her forehead. "You're making her upset! Why can't we just stop arguing?"

"Yeah! I'm jumping," Mimi ran off the cliff. Everyone watched as she barely made it into the safe zone.

"I'm still not jumping!" JP said.

"Are you sure about that?" Gennai said. "Once you make your decision, you're gonna have to wear the chicken hat!"

"Give it to me then! I'm not changing my mind!" JP said.

"Just know that you're running a high risk of being voted off by your teammates," Gennai taunted.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," JP said as he put the hat on his head.

"Okay, anyone else wanna be a chicken with fat boy here?" Gennai asked.

"Come on, Jeri. If you're scared, we can jump off together," Ryo said.

"Okay," Jeri nodded as Ryo reached for her hand.

"It's okay. Just hold on tight," Ryo said soothingly as he embraced her. They jumped off the cliff together, but only Jeri ended up in the safe zone. Ryo fell into the danger zone. "Aaaaahhhhhh!"

The other contestants shuddered as they heard Ryo's bloodcurdling scream. "Bummer. I guess Ryo can't win a point for his team," Gennai shook his head.

"What? That's not fair!" Zoe protested.

"Yeah! That kid is probably getting his arm eaten off by a shark at this very moment!" Matt shrieked.

"Oh my Justimon! This bloody hurts!" Ryo screamed.

"Come on, you can give the Leftovers one point! Can't you?" Henry said.

"Sorry, but rules are rules," Gennai wagged a finger at him. "He had to land in the safe zone. If I bend rules now, then you'll expect me to bend the rules later on."

"Then I'm not jumping either," Matt said.

"Neither am I," Henry crossed his arms.

"Ditto here," Zoe said.

"Same," Yoshi nodded.

"Damn. This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought only three people at most would refuse to do the challenge! I only have two hats left," Gennai rubbed the tip of his mustache. "Okay, pretty boy!" he pointed at Matt. "You get to wear a chicken hat," he crammed the hat on Matt's head. "Blondie," he pointed at Zoe, "your hat's ugly enough, so Yertle the Turtle will have to wear the other chicken hat," he said as he handed the other chicken hat to Yoshi.

* * *

"Well, look who finally decided to make it to the bottom of the cliff," Rika made a face at Zoe.

"Oh, can it!" Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Hey guys! Did I miss anything?" JP ran over to his teammates.

"Yeah. Thanks to you, our team is going to be on the chopping block!" TK yelled.

"TK," Kari held on to TK's arm to restrain him.

"Yeah. Just calm down," Ken said.

"No," TK shook Kari off of him and marched over to JP. "People like you are only gonna drag our team down. If you're not willing to the challenges, then you should just leave. There's no point in staying here if you're not gonna do anything!"

"Well, would you have jumped after what happened to Ryo?" JP asked.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I feel bad for JP. Everyone's being really tough on him. I mean, he does have a valid point," Kari shifted in her seat. "I haven't seen TK be this angry since...well, back when Ken was the Digimon Emperor. But then again, I'm gonna have to agree with TK. It really isn't fair that JP skipped out on a challenge. Everyone else jumped off the cliff, so he should have done it too. Is anyone going to see this?"

_Producer(shakes his head) No, this is all confidential._

* * *

"Now that you're all back in your teams, run to your crates! It doesn't matter which crate you guys pick, just grab the one you think has the best stuff inside!" Gennai said. "You will have three hours to make your invention starting...NOW!"

"Ooooh, we should get that box! There might be some good stuff in there," Davis pointed at a box.

"Are you just saying that because there's a huge number one on the side of the box?" Rika raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah...," Davis looked down at the ground.

"Well, come on! Let's get it!" Marcus said as he sprinted towards the box, with Matt and Tai trailing behind him.

"Let's open it!" Tai tried to punch the box open.

"That's not how you do it!" Marcus said. "This is how you do it!" With one strong punch, he broke the crate open and the contents spilled out.

"What the...?" Takato's jaw dropped.

"How on earth are we supposed to come up with an invention with this stuff?" Matt said.

"Good choice, gogglehead!" Rika scoffed.

"Come on, guys! We could do something with this stuff," Davis picked up a loaf of bread. "We just need to think creatively!"

"Uh, yeah...I created a digimon, but I don't think I could create anything with this," Takato shook his head.

"Whoa, you created a digimon?" Tai was impressed. "Cool!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Uh, I don't know about you guys, but I don't think even MacGyver could come up with something," Izzy shook his head.

"Hmmm," Thomas rubbed his chin.

"This has to be the first time I've touched a football...ever!" Joe pushed his glasses up.

"And what exactly are we going to do with these?" Cody shook a bag of marbles.

"Oooh! Let's play a game!" Tommy took the marbles from Cody's hand.

"We can play a game later," Koji said sternly. "We need to figure out what to do with this useless crap first."

Henry looked at his surroundings. "It seems like everyone else has got a clue. We really need to concentrate!"

* * *

_Concurrently..._

"Oooh, look at this duct tape!" Mimi ripped out a piece and stuck it to her arm.

"What's so cool about it?" Yoshi asked. "It's just duct tape."

"It's pink!" Mimi squealed.

"As cool as pink duct tape is," Sora gently took the tape from Mimi's hands, "we need to save this for our invention...which is something we don't know yet."

"Whatever it is, we're also gonna need to use this zipper," Yolei said. "I don't understand this at all!"

"Hey! We know exactly what to do!" Kenta gasped.

"Yeah! I think you guys will like this!" Kazu nodded.

* * *

_At the same time..._

"Stale jujubes?" Kouichi squished one of the candies in his hand.

"An empty can of Chef Boyardee ravioli?" Jeri shook her head.

"Sorry," JP burped. "It used to have ravioli in it."

"How did you even open this?" Kari asked.

"With the can opener inside the crate," JP shrugged.

"Oh my god, I swear I'm going to hang myself with these shoelaces. You're really starting to bug me!" TK yelled at JP. "First, you chicken out on the first part of the challenge. Next thing we know, you're eating the second part of the challenge! Why don't we just throw in the towel at this point?"

"Sorry," JP blushed. "I was hungry."

"And there we go," Kouichi took off his green button-down and tied it securely to Ryo's arm.

"Thanks, bud," Ryo said.

"I just don't know what we're going to build with these things," TK stared at the various items.

"Tell me about it. It's like he threw in the most random things and just said 'Here, make something!'," Kari said.

"Uh...that's pretty much what happened," Ken bit his lip.

"Right," Kari laughed nervously, but abruptly stopped. "TK, can you please take your hand off my butt?"

"What?" TK dropped one of the empty cans on the floor. "How can I do that when I'm over here?"

"Then whose hand is that?" Ken pointed at the hand.

"Not mine," Ryo said.

Kari spun around to see JP hiding behind the crate. "JP?"

"Sorry, I was just trying to JP took his hand off her butt.

"Trying to be a creep!" Jeri looked horrified.

"She had a jujube stuck to her butt!" JP protested.

"Really?" TK looked behind Kari and raised an eyebrow. Funny...we don't see one anywhere."

"Honestly, she did!" JP said. "See?" he held up a jujube.

"How do we know that you didn't just pick a random one out of nowhere?" Kouichi said.

"JP, I gave you the benefit of the doubt," Ken shook his head. "You really are one screwed up guy."

"You're such a pig," Kari slapped JP across the face.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt...," Ryo said as he rubbed his bloody arm.

* * *

"And...time! Everyone drop their tools! It's judging time," Gennai said. "Gather around and bring your inventions. When I call your team name, please bring your invention over and present it to everyone else. First team up is Sincere Love."

"Hey, guys! We're Sincere Love," Yolei waved at everyone.

"In our crate, we found duct tape, a zipper, rhinestones, glue, and a feather boa," Sora said.

"And with those five materials, we came up with..." Zoe droned.

"A duct tape jacket!" Kenta yelled.

"Mimi, get over here!" Yoshi said.

"Coming!" Mimi ran over so that everyone could get a better look at the jacket.

"Wow! That's pretty cool!" Gennai nodded. "The rhinestones are a nice touch."

"Thanks, we think so too," Kazu winked.

"Okay, sit down now. Next team up, Courageous Friendship!" Gennai motioned them over.

"Hey guys!" Takato greeted.

"We're Kick-Ass Firepower...I mean Courageous Friendship," Davis said.

"Wanna hear a joke?" Tai asked.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Gennai said impatiently.

"Trust us, we're getting somewhere with this," Matt said.

"So a loaf of bread, a lighter, a basket, a slice of cheese, and a plaid blanket walk into a bar," Marcus said.

"Okay, this is stupid," Rika said. She snatched the basket out of Marcus's hands and turned it over so that the contents spilled over. "We made a picnic!"

"Awww, you ruined the punchline!" Takuya whined.

"This is stupid," Rika repeated.

"How so?" Gennai said. "I think this is the best invention so far!"

"What?" Rika's jaw dropped.

"It's something useful! And I love grilled cheese sandwiches," Gennai picked up a sandwich and took a bite from it. "Scrumptious! Now go sit down. Reliable Knowledge? What did you guys make?"

"It's not really something we would normally build," Thomas blushed.

"But we didn't really have a choice, given the materials we were provided with," Izzy shook his head.

"What choice did we have when we had an American football, scissors, a bag of marbles, cardboard tubes, and a metallic maker?" Koji smirked.

"We combined our brainpower to turn a pigskin into...," Joe said.

"A pooping pig!" Tommy pointed to something that resembled a piggy bank.

"A pooping pig?" Gennai cocked his head.

"Yes. We used the scissors to cut holes into the top and the bottom of the football, then we stuck the cardboard tubes inside and made a tunnel that leads outside the pig," Cody explained.

"Yeah! Lookit!" Tommy shook the bag of marbles and took one marble out. He dropped it into the top hole. A couple of seconds later, the marble rolled out of the other side of the cardboard tube.

"Wow, it does kinda look like it's pooping!" Takuya said.

"Do it again!" Tai cheered.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I love Tai and all, but honestly I wasn't surprised that his team would be amused by our invention. It does seem like something they would enjoy," Izzy gave himself a facepalm.

* * *

"Interesting," Gennai nodded. "So, if we're done here, it's time for me to rank the inventions. You all made great-"

"Wait!" Kari said. "You forgot about us!"

"Oh, yeah...you guys. What did you guys make?" Gennai feigned interest.

"It's nothing that great," Ken laughed nervously.

"Maybe it was better if you forgot us," Ryo said.

"Yeah, our invention is pretty bad compared to everyone else's," JP shuffled his feet.

"Tada?" TK pulled out the invention.

"What the hell is that?" Gennai made a face.

"It's a phone," Jeri said, "made out of cans. We used the shoelace to connect the cans together!"

"And we glued jujubes onto the cans to add some pizzazz?" Kouichi sounded unsure of himself.

"Umm, right," Gennai said. "Now that we've seen all of the inventions, it's time to deliberate and tally up the scores. For the first challenge, everyone had to jump off the thousand-foot cliff. Each team gets one point for every person that jumps the cliff and successfully makes it into the safe zone. That means:

**Courageous Friendship** and **Reliable Knowledge** are tied with **6 points** each

and

**Sincere Love** and the **Leftovers** both have **5 points**.

"In the second part of the challenge, you all had to come up with an invention using five random items. Some of you guys came up with great ideas, and some of you not so great. I will rank the inventions from best to worst. The invention that wins first place will be awarded 10 points. Second place will get 7 points. Third will win 5 points, and the losers will get 3 pity points. Let me just tell you, it was really hard to pick which invention was the best, but after careful consideration," Gennai did a dramatic pause. "The winning invention is... Reliable Knowledge!"

"What?" Henry's jaw dropped.

"Yeah! That pig...just plain genius! Can I keep it?" Gennai said.

"Sure," Izzy shrugged and handed the football pig to the old man.

"Second place goes to... Courageous Friendship! I love how you guys made grilled cheese without using a grill!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I never heard of anyone using a grill to make a grilled cheese. We usually fry them in a pan," Takato said. "Although we do make paninis with this George Foreman grill. I probably shouldn't have said that. If people found out, they would make their paninis at home and not buy them from us anymore."

* * *

"We couldn't have done it without this lighter," Takuya said as he flicked the lighter on. "Ow, I burned myself!"

"Nice one," Gennai shook his head. "Okay, so there are two teams remaining. Both teams made colorful, but sticky messes but only one team will be safe from elimination. The other team will have to vote off one of their teammates in the first elimination ceremony. Sincere Love, you guys found a creative way to make duct tape into a fashion statement. Leftovers, you found a creative way to BS an invention with the random stuff you guys found in your crate, and I sort of respect you for that. Unfortunately, that phone is the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It doesn't even work," Gennai shook his head. "So Sincere Love wins third place, just because the jacket is very pretty...even though it's sticky."

"Yayyyyy!" Kenta and Kazu held hands and jumped around.

"Thank god!" Sora wiped her forehead.

"If we total up the scores, Reliable Knowledge is in the lead with 16 points:

**Reliable Knowledge: 16 points**

**Courageous Friendship: 13 points**

**Sincere Love:10 points**

**Leftovers: 8 points**

Leftovers, meet me at the campfire at sunset for the first elimination ceremony," Gennai said.

* * *

While Reliable Knowledge enjoyed their pizza party, The Leftovers were yards away, sitting at the campfire.

"Wow, I've never Henry act so hyper," Ryo smiled as he clutched on to his marshmallow.

"Or Izzy," Ken noted.

"Geeks Gone Wild!" Kari giggled.

"If we're done watching the smart guys go crazy, we need to kick someone out of the competition," Gennai said. "TK, JP...you two received the most votes for elimination. TK, rumor has it that you have some serious anger problems. JP, you refused to do part of a challenge, and I heard that you like to feel up the female members of your team. Someone has some explaining to do," Gennai said. Everyone else munched on their jumbo-size marshmallows.

"She had a jujube stuck to her butt! Seriously!" JP said.

"Sure. Anyways, only one of you guys will get the sacred marshmallow, the sacred token that keeps you in the running for the competition. That last marshmallow goes to...TK. JP, you've hit the point of no return. Mrs. Kamiya already took the liberty to pack your crap, so all you have to do is walk your stubby, little legs down the dock and board on the Loser Cruiser. Adios, amigo!"

* * *

_Last words:_

"I wish that I could have stayed longer in the competition. I didn't even make it past one challenge," JP slumped in his stool.

_Producer: What about trying to make a move on Kari?_

"For the last time, she had a jujube on her butt!"

_Producer: Yeah, I know. It's all on tape._

"What? And you didn't show everyone? Now you've got the whole world thinking I'm some perverted creep!" JP gripped his hair.

_Producer(laughs) I know, but I couldn't help it. You set yourself up there, kiddo._

_**Stay tuned for next week's episode of Total Drama Island..**_**.**


	4. Going Loco For Coconuts

**Recap: **For their first challenge, the contestants must dive off a cliff and then race to some crates, which are filled with random objects. With these random things, each team must create the best invention. Reliable Knowledge comes up with an "idiotic" invention, which helps them win the challenge. Unfortunately for the Leftovers, they lose for making the crappiest piece of crap Gennai has ever seen. At the Campfire Ceremonies, JP gets the boot after he allegedly tried to make a pass on one of his teammates.

* * *

**Going Loco for Coconuts**

"I wonder why the sign on the mess hall reads 'The Poop Deck'," TK said pensively as he stirred his spoon into the unidentifiable grey slop that was supposedly breakfast.

"It's probably because the mess hall is actually part of a decaying boat," Izzy shrugged.

"I thought it was because the food tastes like shi-"

"Yolei! I'm trying to eat," Davis sticks his tongue out in disgust.

"That's funny. This has to be the first thing I've seen you have difficulty eating," Kari giggled.

Davis's face immediately turned red at that comment. "No, no, no, no, no! It's not like the food is terrible! It's actually the best stuff I've ever had!" he lied. He could tell by the expressions on everyone's faces that nobody believed him, so he scooped up a big spoonful of slop and shoved it in his mouth. "Mmmm," he pretended to enjoy the food.

"Okay," Matt smirked. "Now swallow it."

"Mmm-mmm!" Davis shook his head, his mouth still full of slop. Tai looked at his wristwatch while Mimi and Sora tried to stifle their laughter.

Mrs. Kamiya approached the table. "Hey, kiddies! How do you guys like my French toast?"

"That was supposed to be French toast?" Joe whispered.

"It's good, Mrs. Kamiya. Right?" Ken nudged Davis.

"Mmm-hmm!" Davis nodded his head and gave Mrs. Kamiya a thumbs-up.

"I'm so glad you guys like it! I'll keep a mental note to make it again," she tapped her head with her index finger. "See you later!" she happily skipped off.

"Okay, coast is clear," Tai said.

Without hesitation, Davis spit out the slop. He then proceeded to lick his arm to get the taste of slop out of his mouth. "No offense, but that food was unbearable!" he heaved.

"None taken," Kari laughed. "I must have fed most of my mom's cooking to the cat."

"Is that how Miko died?" Tai asked.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd rather eat a lifetime supply of your disgustingly undercooked burgers than to eat one more bite of this," Koji grimaced.

"Whatever! At least my burgers didn't smell bad. Or move," Takuya protested.

"At least I wasn't stupid enough to put peanut butter and sardines on a burger!" Koji yelled.

"Coming from the same doofus that put squid puree and white chocolate on his fish-burger! Like the great JP once said, white chocolate may look good, but no taste!" Takuya spat back.

"Not this again," Tommy pulled his hat down.

"Boy, I'm glad I missed that," Kouichi tugged on the collar of his shirt.

"Yeah, super lucky," Zoe said.

* * *

"I know I say this a lot, but this is the worst," Yoshi made a face at her bowl of slop.

"I wish my mom was the chef. I miss her food," Marcus turned his bowl upside down and watched his slop slowly spill down.

Thomas took Marcus's bowl away from him and placed it on the other side of the table before Marcus could make a mess. "Yeah, your mom can really cook."

"Meem um appa ba campfire bogs im bive mimmims!" the loudspeaker said.

"What?" Marcus raised an eyebrow.

"Hello, this is Executive Producer José speaking for Gennai. Will all contestants please report to the campfire logs in five minutes? Thank you!" the loudspeaker said.

"Ahhh, makes more sense now," Yoshi nodded.

* * *

"I wonder why Gennai's talking funny," Henry shrugged.

"Who knows? The old man's mad," Kazu made the cuckoo sign.

"Maybe he finally lost all his teeth," Rika scoffed.

"Whoa, princess. Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Ryo poked her in the ribs.

Rika took Ryo's hand and bent it backwards. "Call me princess one more time. I dare you," she jokingly threatened.

"Okay, prince-ow, ow, ow! You can stop twisting my arm now!" Ryo said.

"Awww, isn't it so cute when they flirt?" Jeri tugged on the sleeve of Takato's shirt.

"Cute? I call it scary," Takato laughed nervously. "I'd hate to see what Rika would do if she was actually mad at Ryo."

* * *

"Oh pilbin! Ips goo pooh pee you!" Gennai said as all the children gathered around the campfire logs.

"What?" Matt asked.

"He said that it was good to see you all," José sighed.

"Wel, ip ooo bonp wanna helb, benn beeve," Gennai yelled at José.

"Fine. Besides, there's a cheese Danish in the lounge that's calling my name. Adios, old man!" José walked away.

"Lorry I camp peak, loh I wilm mine poo ooo implead," Gennai said as he began to sign with his hands instead.

"Why is he moving his hands like a spaz?" Takuya looked terrified.

"That's because he's speaking in sign language," Thomas said. "He says that this next challenge is going to go a little differently than he expected." Gennai nodded in approval of Thomas's translation.

"Figures. Thomas Norstein: Boy Genius knows sign language," Marcus muttered. "What doesn't he know?"

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Yoshi giggled.

"No, I'm just tired of him being so smart! It's getting old!" Marcus crossed his arms.

"Okay, if you say so...," Yoshi shrugged.

"Right now he said he lost his dentures," Thomas interpreted Gennai's signing.

The Tamers all turned around to look at Rika. "What?" Rika shot a look back at them.

"I think Rika's a witch," Kenta whispered loudly. "She probably put a curse on Gennai!"

"You know I can hear you," Rika glared at Kenta.

"Eep! Please don't put a curse on me! I take it back!" Kenta ducked behind Kazu.

"Can you guys knock it off? Gennai's explaining the next challenge and it would be nice to know what's going on," Henry jerked his thumb back to Gennai and Thomas.

"Anyways, while setting up today's challenge, Gennai's dentures fell into one of the props. The problem is that he doesn't remember which prop it was, because all of the props look the same," Thomas explained. "Gennai, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are the props?" He watched as Gennai frantically moved his hands. "Uh huh... That's not a bad idea. Okay... I see. Right. Alright," Thomas nodded.

"Can you be such a doll and tell us what's going on?" Mimi winked at Thomas and twirled her hair.

"Yeah, you sexy studmuffin!" Yolei growled in a seductive voice.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I don't know why, but I really don't feel comfortable when Mimi acts all flirtatious with other guys," Izzy blushed. "Not that I care or anything, because I don't. But for Pete's sake, she has the crest of purity!"

* * *

"Right," Thomas adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. "From what Gennai told me, today's challenge was going to be a trivia game. Gennai will-," Thomas stopped talking when he saw Gennai feverishly shaking his head. "What do you mean 'no'?" Thomas watched as Gennai made a variation of hand gestures. "Okay, okay..."Thomas said nervously.

"What's going on?" Sora asked.

Thomas massaged the back of his neck. "Well... Gennai wants me to ask the questions."

"So...?" Koji shrugged.

"Well, since he wants me to interpret for him, he said I will earn immunity for this challenge," Thomas explained.

"That's good," Yoshi nodded.

"Yeah," Kouichi said.

"Are you guys sure?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah. I mean, you're helping us out," Takuya said.

"And also, we don't have to hear Gennai verbally abusing us," Joe pushed up his glasses. Gennai immediately begain signing again.

"What's he saying now?" Kari asked.

"I don't want to repeat that," Thomas shook his head.

* * *

"Welcome to the second challenge," Thomas interpreted for Gennai. "In this challenge, you guys will have to answer some Digimon-related trivia questions. Each team will have its own podium. When a team is called to answer a question, the team must pick one member of the group to pick a random coconut from this table," Thomas gestures to the table next to him. "Bring the coconut to me, where I will crack it open and ask you the question found inside the coconut. The team will then have 30 seconds to answer the question. For every question answered correctly, the team gets one point. There will be no points rewarded for incorrect answers. The team that earns the most points will win immunity from elimination. The team that scores the lowest points will sent to the campfire ceremonies, where the team will have to vote off one of their members. Also, there is a twist to this game. Since Gennai is feeling especially generous today, the team that chooses the coconut with his dentures inside will also be exempt from elimination. If that team happens to be the team that scored the lowest amount of points, then the next team that performed the worst will have to participate in the campfire ceremonies."

Gennai started to sign again, and Thomas nodded his head. "There are a couple of rules to keep in mind. One: The first coconut you touch is the coconut you select. This is so that nobody can cheat and try to select the coconut with the dentures inside. Two: If you pick a coconut and all of the other coconuts tumble down, just keep walking and hand me the coconut that you touched first. Then, before you walk back to your team's podium, pick the fallen coconuts up and put them back on the table. This is so that Gennai doesn't have to clean up the mess. Three: The person who selects the coconut only has thirty seconds to answer this question. Only that person can answer the question. He or she cannot get any help from his teammates unless they use the lifeline. If a teammate decides to help out without the lifeline, then one point will be deducted from the team's score each time that happens. Also, there will be no points awarded if the person fails to answer the question in the time allocated. Four: Each team only has 1 lifeline, so choose when to use it wisely. Any questions?"

"Can you take your shirt off?" Yolei raised her hand.

"Heh heh," Thomas blushed. "But it's not that hot outside."

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I think I'm starting to understand why Gennai doesn't want to give us the opportunity to ask questions," Thomas rubbed his chin.

* * *

"Well, if there are no questions about the challenge, I guess we can start now. Courageous Friendship, please pick a member of your team to select a coconut."

"No, you do it!" Tai nudged Davis.

"I'm not going up there! You can go," Davis pushed Takato forward.

"No! I'm too scared," Takato dropped to the sand to avoid being shoved by Davis again.

"You're all doofs," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Whoa, you sounded like my little sister just now," Marcus shivered.

Rika ignored his comment. "If you're all too chicken to go up there, then I'll go. Can't depend on goggleheads," she marched over to the table of coconuts. She picked a random one up and handed it to Thomas. He cracked the hollow prop open while Rika walked back to her team. "The timer will start after I finish reading this question. You only have thirty seconds to give me a response," Thomas said. "What is the function of the Hyper Chip card?"

"This is easy," Rika smirked. "It increases a digimon's power by 10 percent."

_*Ding*_ Gennai pressed a green button. "You are correct. Courageous Friendship gets one point," Thomas said.

"Way to go, Rika!" Tai squeezed her tightly.

"Don't touch me," she said.

"Next up is Sincere Love," Thomas announced.

"I've got this," Zoe flipped her hair and confidently strode to the table of coconuts.

"Weren't we supposed to choose who gets to go up there?" Yoshi asked.

"That's what I thought," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"Whatever. She better not mess this up for us," Yolei bit her lip.

"Okay, Zoe. What level form is the digimon WereGarurumon?" Thomas read the slip of paper in the coconut.

"Uh...," Zoe adjusted her hat.

"Fifteen seconds," Thomas warned.

"Beast spirit?" she guessed.

_*Buzz*_ Gennai slammed his fist on a red button. "I'm sorry, but that is not the correct answer," Thomas said. "The right answer was Ultimate form. No points for Sincere Love. Leftovers, you're up next."

"Who wants to go up?" Kouichi asked.

"I'll go up," Jeri said.

"Are you sure?" Ryo was surprised.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Positive."

"Okay, then. Good luck," Kari smiled.

"You can do this," TK cheered her on.

Jeri picked a coconut and handed it to Thomas. He waited until she returned to her team and asked the question. "What attribute type is the digimon Guilmon classified under?"

"Virus!" Jeri blurted out.

_*Ding!* _"Correct! Leftovers win one point! Reliable Knowledge, please choose a member to answer the next question," Thomas said.

"Come on, Joe. You can do it! You're training to be a doctor, right?" Tommy said.

"But that doesn't mean I know everything!" Joe freaked out.

"I thought that's what being a doctor meant," Tommy shrugged.

"If you go up first, you don't have to go up again," Henry reasoned.

"Yeah. The last thing we want is for your anxiety to increase," Cody nodded.

"Okay, then. I'll do it!" Joe took in a deep breath and walked over to the table. He grabbed a coconut, which caused all of the other coconuts to roll off the table. "AAAHHH! I didn't mean to do that!"

"That's okay," Thomas nodded. "Just bring me that coconut and pick up the other ones on the way back."

Joe handed him the coconut, and walked back to the table to pick up the coconuts. "Gahhh!" he said as they rolled off the table again. Gennai walked over to Joe and signalled him to go back to his podium. As Joe clumsily walked back to his group, Gennai sighed loudly and carefully placed the coconuts on the table.

"Joe, what digimon is often known to be a mode of transportation in the Digital World?" Thomas asked.

"I know this one! Is it a Trailmon?"

_*Ding!* _Gennai pressed the green button. "Correct! One point for Reliable Knowledge!"

* * *

_A half-hour later..._

"Last round of the game, and we still haven't found the invincibility coconut," Thomas said.

"Thank god," Takuya muttered. "I like it better when Gennai can't speak."

"Thanks to their secret weapon, Rika the Digimon Queen, Courageous Friendship is in first place with 14 points. Reliable Knowledge is second place with 12 points, while Sincere Love and the Leftovers are tied in third place with 10 points. Anything can happen here. Here's hoping for the best. Since this is the last round, the teams can choose who gets to go first," Thomas said.

"Guys, I have an idea!" Yoshi said. The team huddled and looked at her in anticipation. "Whatever we do, we have to make sure to be one of the last teams to go up."

"Why would we want to do that?" Zoe winced. "What if someone else gets the invincibility coconut before we do?"

"That's the thing!" Yoshi said.

"Huh? I'm not getting this," Yolei scratched her head in confusion.

"You see, there are four coconuts remaining and only one of them has the dentures inside. There's only a 1 out of 4 chance that we would pick the right coconut. If we waited, then our odds of winning invincibility would increase," Yoshi explained.

"I get it!" Sora said. "So if we wait for the other teams to pick a coconut, they have a higher chance of picking the wrong coconut and we would have a higher chance of picking the right one?"

"Exactly!" Yoshi nodded. "But we don't want to be the last team up. We should aim at being second-to-last, that way we can choose which coconut to pick."

"Good idea!" Kenta said.

"Only one problem," Kazu said. "I think the Dork Brigade also has the same idea," he jerked his thumb at Reliable Knowledge.

Mimi caught Izzy looking in their direction. As soon as she gave him eye contact, he quickly turned back to his group. "I think you're right," she said. "We have to beat them to the punch!"

"Are we ready to begin?" Thomas said.

"Ready for action!" Matt said. "And we'd like to go up first!"

"It's fighting time," Marcus punched the air.

"You can do it, Rika!" Takato called out to her. "We believe in you!"

"Maybe a little too much," Rika smirked jokingly. She walked to the table, closed her eyes, and grabbed a random coconut.

"Thank you," Thomas said as Rika handed him the coconut. "Name one of the Olympus Twelve digimon."

"Merukimon," Rika said.

_*Ding!* _"Correct," Thomas said. "Who wants to go up next?"

"We do!" TK raised his hand. He strolled over to the table. "Uhhh," he said as his hands hovered over the coconuts. TK took a deep breath and grabbed a coconut. He handed it to Thomas, who cracked it open.

"Whoa! You found the invincibility coconut!" Thomas picked up the dentures. Gennai snatched them out of his hands and put them back in his mouth.

"TK!" Kari ran up to TK and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Kar-" TK's surprise was cut short by her lips pressing against his. His arms started flailing, and he fell backwards into the sand, with Kari on top of him.

"What?" Davis's mouth dropped open. "And they're still kissing?"

"Don't worry, they're going to need oxygen soon," Tai nudged.

"Not helping," Davis frowned.

"Hubba bubba, the first kiss of the season," Gennai laughed. "Whoa, did I see some tongue there?"

"Not helping!" Davis bit his lip.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"You think you know a guy," Davis shakes his head. "Whatever happened to bros before hoes?"

The camera pans over to TK, who is sitting at the corner. "First of all, Kari is not a ho. Second, she came on to me. I didn't come on to her. And third, me and her are just friends. Honestly."

"Really? Do you kiss _all_ of your friends like that?" Davis put his hands on his hips.

"What are you trying to say?" TK cocked his head to the side.

"Oh, you know what I'm trying to say!" Davis pointed at him.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" TK made a face. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm flattered and all, but I don't roll that way myself."

"No, that is not what I'm trying to say!" Davis stomped his foot. "Dumb blonde."

* * *

Kari broke away from the kiss and got up. "Sorry about that, I was so happy you found the invincibility coconut," she blushed.

"No biggie," TK brushed the sand away from his shirt.

"I can talk again and it's all thanks to the Leftovers! You know what, Leftovers? Not only are you guys safe from elimination, I'm letting you stay in José's luxury cabin!'

"Then where is José going to sleep?" Ryo said.

"He can sleep in your cardboard boxes...I mean cabin. Payback's a bitch," Gennai said. "Sincere Love, meet me at the campfire for tonight's elimination."

"What?" Mimi said.

"But that's not fair! We didn't get to finish the challenge," Zoe protested.

"Why should we?" Gennai said. "I've got my dentures, and there is no way you guys have a fighting chance anyways. Reliable Knowledge is ahead of you by two points. There's no point in dragging this out any longer than it needs to be."

"This is the worst," Yoshi said.

"Tell me about it," Sora shook her head.

"Since we're done with the challenge, I have a little treat for you guys!" Gennai pulled a projector screen from behind a tree. "Replay time!" he yelled to a cameraman. The cameraman played a clip of Kari and TK kissing. "Here it is in slo-mo," Gennai pointed to the screen. "And fast motion...slow motion-"

"Seriously...not...helping," Davis said through clenched teeth.

"I wasn't trying to help," Gennai smiled.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies_:

"It's kinda funny how the votes were nearly unanimous. Alas, you two ended up with the most votes," Gennai shook his head at Yoshi and Zoe. "One of you will receive a marshmallow, and one of you will have to hop on the Loser Cruiser and never return to the island. Yoshi-"

"I'm sorry, guys!" Yoshi apologized. "I didn't mean to let you down."

"But-" Kenta said.

"I'm sorry my plan didn't work out at all. I don't blame you guys for being mad at me," she continued.

"But we're not-" Yolei said.

"I deserve to be voted off," Yoshi said. "I'm only going to drag you guys down. I mean, let's be honest. At the bottom of my heart, I know I'm not going to win anyways."

"But you don't know that!" Mimi said.

"You guys are too nice to me," Yoshi shook her head. "But I have to go now."

"Don't leave!" Sora pleaded.

"You heard her. If she wants to leave, let her. Bye, Yoshi!" Zoe said.

"Bye everyone," Yoshi slumped her shoulders. "Good luck!" she said before she shuffled away to the Loser Cruiser.

"If she let me finish, she would have known that Zoe was the one who should have been eliminated tonight!" Gennai said. "It's her luggage that's on the Loser Cruiser!"

"What?" Zoe said. "So my stuff is on that run-down boat?"

Gennai nodded his head. "Precisely."

"Can I have my marshmallow now?" Zoe asked.

"No," Gennai said. "This marshmallow belonged to Yoshi, but since she's not here, I'm eating it!" he popped the marshmallow in his mouth. "Mmmm, marshmallowey!"

* * *

_Last Words:_

"Hey Yoshi! If you're watching, I hit want to let you know that nothing was your fault. You are way too hard on yourself," Sora says. "You are a better person than you think you are. How about after the competition, me and you hang out? Keep in touch!"


	5. Don't Wake Ogremon!

**Recap: **Gennai loses his dentures in one of the props for the trivia game challenge. Since nobody can understand a word he's saying, Thomas interprets Gennai's sign language, earning him immunity for elimination. Gennai also awards immunity for the team that finds the prop the denture is in. Although Rika kicked super ass with her Digimon smarts, the Leftovers win the challenge for finding the coconut with Gennai's teeth inside. Although Gennai hates them, he has to give the Leftovers props for finding his teeth. Ultimately, Sincere Love attends the Campfire Ceremonies. The top two people on the hot seat are Zoe and Yoshi, but Yoshi walks out because she thinks she is the reason her team lost. Zoe is not only relieved by this, but she's also too happy when Yoshi volunteers herself out.

* * *

**Don't Wake Ogremon!**

"Hey, hey, hey! Benji boy here! Can all you contestants rendezvous avec moi en la playa en diez minutos? Andiamo!"

"What?" Matt grunted in annoyance.

"What he basically said was that he wants us to meet at the beach in ten minutes," Thomas translated.

"Whoa! What language don't you know?" Mimi gushed.

"Well, I just mastered Pig Latin but I'm still trying to learn Ubbi Dubbi," Thomas modestly shrugged.

"Wow, you're so smart!" Sora said, amazed.

"Yeah, he's a genius alright," Marcus rolled his eyes.

"Right?" Izzy exhaled and shook his head.

"Are you guys jealous?" Tai snuck up between Marcus and Izzy and put his arms around them.

"No!" they said in unison.

"I don't blame you guys for being jealous. Thomas _is_ the perfect package: smart, handsome, and down-to-earth," Tai squeezed in between them.

"I'm just tired of Thomas flaunting his intelligence to the whole world," Izzy sighed.

"Yeah, whatever Frizzy said," Marcus muttered as he swirled the slop in his bowl.

"Izzy," Izzy corrected.

"Right," Marcus nodded.

"Hmmm, that sounds like jealousy to me. And I know a little about jealousy," Tai smirked mischievously.

"Jealous of that guy?" Marcus jerked his thumb at Thomas. "He's my friend and all, but there is _noooo_ way I'm jealous of him...but it wouldn't hurt to get an A on my report card once in a while," he shrugged.

"Izzy?" Tai flashed a mischievous smile at his friend.

"What?" Izzy spoke in an irritated tone.

"What's your reason for hating on Thomas?"

"I don't hate Thomas," Izzy said.

"Then why are you acting like he stole your girl or something?" Tai asked.

"I don't have time for this," Izzy slammed his laptop shut.

"Because you know I'm right?" Tai smirked. "Trust me, I can tell. I've had guys steal girls awa-Owwww! Kari? Why'd you hit me?" Tai rubbed the back of his head.

"You shouldn't be telling lies," Kari smirked. "In order to have someone steal a girl from you, you must have a girl in the first place."

"She told you," Izzy laughed. "Thanks, Kari," he gave her a high-five and left the table.

"I'm out too," Marcus said. He picked up his bowl and got up from the table.

* * *

"Hola bambinos! You're all probably wondering why Gennai isn't here," Benjamin said.

"Actually, not really," Kazu said.

"Yeah. If you didn't mention the fact he was gone, we would have never noticed," Kenta shrugged.

"Wow," Benjamin frowned. "I'm pretty sure Gennai would be happy to hear that."

Joe raised his hand.

"Joe, what is it? Que paesano?" Benjamin asked.

"If it makes you or Gennai feel better, I noticed he was missing," Joe said.

"Kiss ass," Takuya muttered under his breath.

Not hearing Takuya, Joe continued to speak. "You see, I think Gennai hates me a lot, so when I haven't been treated like shit before noon, I'm bound to get a little worried."

"I know Gennai can be a little... blunt, but...," Benjamin shook his head. "I'm sorry Gennai's a dick. If you want, we have an on-site therapist you can visit. You sound like you need one. Okay, now that we've established that, follow me!" he motioned them up the shore.

"What..." Takato's eyes grew larger than usual.

"The..." Tommy's jaw dropped.

"Hell?" TK blurted.

"What is this crap?" Davis spazzed out.

"It kinda looks like a board game," Zoe squinted her eyes.

"That's because it is!" Benjamin said. "Do you guys like it?"

"Depends," Henry said. "What exactly is a life-sized board game doing in the middle of the beach?"

"And what is a huge, ugly digimon doing sleeping right in the center of the board game?" Koji fidgeted with his bandana.

"For this challenge, you guys are going to play a nice, little game called 'Don't Wake Ogremon'! Eh?" Benjamin laughed nervously.

"Don't Wake Ogremon?" Jeri talked through her puppet.

"Exactamundo!" Benjamin said. "We sorta kidnapped an Ogremon while he was napping and decided to make a game out of it. You see, Ogremon don't like to be woken up from their naps."

"Uh oh. Somehow I have a bad feeling about this," Tommy bit his lip.

"And you should! For this challenge, you guys will have to try to make it to the end of the board game without angering Ogremon. The first three teams to make it to the rainbow square at the end of the board game will be exempt from tonight's elimination. The team that fails to make it to the rainbow square will be sent to the infamous campfire ceremonies, where the losing team will have to vote off one of their beloved members. Let me break down how this game works."

Benjamin whips out a handful of cards from his robe pocket, "I have a deck of 16 cards, which I will shuffle and deal out to each team. Therefore, each team will end up with 4 cards. These cards might help you guys out as the game progresses."

Benjamin walks over to four, oversized beds, each bed a different color. "Now, each team will be assigned a bed, where they will stay for the duration of the game. From here, the teams must choose a member to be the game piece that will represent the team. The game pieces will have to wear these color-coded hats as they move around the board."

Benjamin points at a huge spinner wheel, which was divided into 5 equal sections. A huge, wooden arrow was nailed to the top of the big wheel. "Last week's winning team will get to spin the huge wheel first. From there, the team to the left will spin next. The color the arrow points to is the color of the first empty square that the team's pawn will have to land on. If the arrow points at the glittery section of the wheel, the pawn can jump to the space right in front of the leader. If your team is already in the lead, then spin the wheel again."

"With all due respect, if the wheel determines what space the pawn goes to, then why do we have these cards?" Henry asked.

"Those cards might save your asses. You see, some of the squares will have numbers on them. If you have a card that has both the same color and number as the space you landed on, then you're fine. If you don't have a matching card, you must walk up to the sleeping Ogremon and bop him with this thing the number of times that appears on the square you landed on ," Benjamin pulls out a huge, inflatable baseball bat. "Ogremon wakes up after ten hits, so you don't want to be the sucker that has to give him the tenth bop. If you do manage to wake up Ogremon, you must run all the way back to the first square of the game. From there, you must find the matching card from another team, so just in case you land back in the same square, you'll be safe. In the meantime, I will give Ogremon a tranquilizer so that he will become drowsy again, and wake up after another 10 hits. If Ogremon sleeps through the bashings, then stay in that square until your team spins the wheel again. If you spin a color, and there are no more squares in that color ahead of you, jump ahead to the glittery square at the end the board game, where there is a mini freezer waiting. The pawn can open the freezer and pull out a box of Popsicles, which he or she can take back to his team. Talk about a sweet treat, huh?" Benjamin smiles.

"Any questions before we start the game? No? Okay, then. Let's begin! Courageous Friendship, you guys are the red team. Reliable Knowledge, you guys are blue, Sincere Love is green, and Leftovers yellow. Now climb to your beds and choose who will be your pawns!"

* * *

"We have to win this!" Marcus said.

"Hell yeah!" Takuya said.

"We must get those popsicles!" Davis said.

"Damn straight! This will be the first good food we've eaten since this competition started," Matt nodded. "Uh, no offense Tai?"

"None taken," Tai smiled. "Come on, team. Let's put our hands in!" Everyone, except Rika, huddled close together.

"Come on, Nonaka! Aren't you part of this team?" Takato said.

"Unfortunately," Rika muttered.

"Fine, be that way," Matt said.

"On three!" Marcus commanded.

"1, 2, 3! Popsicles!" the team, minus Rika, cheered as they broke away from their huddle.

"Why me?" Rika sighed.

* * *

"Okay, so who wants to be the game piece?" Sora asked.

"I'll do it!" Zoe shot her hand up in the air. "I'm a pretty fast runner."

"Ummm, okay...," Sora said. "Anyone have any objections?" The rest of the team shook their heads.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I don't have a problem with Zoe being the game piece. That just means she'll be the one that gets mauled to death if she wakes Ogremon up," Yolei shrugged.

* * *

"Okay, Zoe. I guess that makes you our pawn," Sora handed her a green, cone-shaped hat.

"I'll win this," Zoe gave her team a thumbs-up before she jumped off the giant green bed.

* * *

"Okay, seems like we have our pawns," Benjamin nodded. Takuya was wearing a red hat, Ken wore a yellow hat for the Leftovers, Zoe stood confidently in her green hat, and Joe represented Reliable Knowledge by wearing a blue hat. "Now we can start the game! Since the Leftovers won last week's challenge, they get the first spin!"

TK hopped off his team's yellow bed and walked to the huge spinner wheel. "Go, TK!" Jeri cheered. Kouichi nodded in agreement. TK grabbed the wheel and spun it full force. The arrow landed on the red section of the wheel.

"Red!" Benjamin said. With that, Ken walked 3 spaces to the first red square. "Courageous Friendship!"

Marcus jumped off the red bed and walked up to the wheel.

"Do this for the Popsicles!" Tai chanted. Marcus nodded. He spun the wheel with all of his strength and the wheel fell off.

"Whoa! That wasn't in the rules," Benjamin's jaw dropped. He pulled out a walkie-talkie and began talking into it. "What do we do about this? Okay...okay. Sounds good to me." He put the walkie-talkie back in his robe. "Yo, Marcus. Screw the wheel back on. Takuya, go to the square in front of Ken," Benjamin commanded. "Reliable Knowledge!"

Cody spun the wheel, but he couldn't get it to move that much. "Blue?" Benjamin said. "Well since Ken's already on a blue square, you'll have to go on the next blue square, which makes you guys in the lead! Sincere Love, you're next!"

Kazu walked up and spun the wheel. The wheel spun several times before it stopped on the green section. "Bummer," Benjamin shook his head in pity. "You guys only get to move up one square," he pointed to the first square.

* * *

_Thirty minutes later..._

"So far, Courageous Friendship is in the lead. The Leftovers are trailing close behind, with Reliable Knowledge in third place. Sincere Love was the first team to wake up Ogremon, so they're all the way back in the beginning of the board game," Benjamin announced.

Yolei and Mimi high-fived each other. Zoe barely escaped Ogremon's wrath; she got by with a few minor scratches and a couple of bashings with Ogremon's spiky club.

"You guys shouldn't be happy about Zoe getting injured. As...confident as she is, she is still a member of our team. When one of falls, we all fall," Sora lectured the girls. "You are aware of the fact that because Zoe woke up Ogremon, we're behind, right?"

"I don't care. It was so worth it," Yolei grinned.

"Yeah. Honestly, she deserves it for being so snotty," Mimi said.

Sora shook her head in disapproval. "Mimi, sometimes your sincerity should be kept to yourself," she sighed.

"Are you kidding me?" Joe shrieked. "How on earth is there a square with the number 10 on it?"

"That's just the way the game works. Sorry," Benjamin frowned. "Do you have a card with a yellow 10 on it?"

Joe turned to face his group, who shook their heads. "No," Joe sighed.

"Here you go then," Benjamin solemnly handed Joe the inflatable baseball bat. Joe grudgingly took the bat and walked to the center of the game board. He took a big gulp and began swinging at Ogremon. "1, 2, 3, 4," Benjamin counted the hits, "5, 6, 7, 8, 9... Joe? Just one more hit. You can do this."

"No! I can't! I'll get slaughtered!" Joe screamed.

"Come on! Zoe made it alive," Benjamin tried to console Joe.

"Barely!" Joe yelled. He looked over at Zoe, who had a feeble smile on her face.

"Look, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have Ogremon in the game. My idea was to have a huge Jack-in-the-Box in the middle of the game board, but that was out of our budget," Benjamin shrugged.

"Yum...Jack-in-the-Box," Davis rubbed his belly. "I love their burgers."

"I don't think that's the kind of Jack-in-the-Box Benjamin's talking about," Rika grabbed her head.

"You can do it, Joe!" Tommy cheered.

Joe took a deep breath, braced himself, and took a final swing. Ogremon sprung out of bed and started to chase Joe. "Aaaahhhhhh!" Joe screamed as he ran around the game board in an erratic manner.

"Run to the first square!" Thomas shouted.

"Don't worry, I got this!" Benjamin took out a tranquilizer gun. "I've got pretty good aim. I was the best archer in my archery class."

"Stop babbling and shoot the Ogremon!" Koji yelled.

"Oh, sorry!" Benjamin aimed the gun at Ogremon and pulled the trigger.

"Gahhhh! I can't move!" Joe's legs collapsed underneath him.

"Mierda!" Benjamin screamed.

"You shot Joe!" Izzy gasped.

"Hot damn, hot damn, hot damn!" Benjamin panicked. "Okay, Benny! You've got this, you've got this," he said as he cocked his gun and fired toward Ogremon. The digimon fell back in an instant and Benjamin dragged him back to the bed in the center of the board game. "Uh, Joe...since you can't move, someone else is gonna have to take your place."

"I'll take his place," Thomas volunteered. He picked Joe up and carried him back to the team bed.

"Okay," Benjamin said. "Go to the first square then. Since you guys woke up Ogremon, you have to start over from the beginning again. Sincere Love, spin the wheel!" Sora went up to spin the wheel, and the arrow pointed to the red section. "Move up to the red square, Zoe!" Benjamin said. "Leftovers," he gestured toward the wheel. Ryo spun the wheel. "Green!" he called out, and Ken walked over to a green square. Matt spun the wheel for Courageous Friendship, and it stopped at the green section. The last green square was behind Takuya, and he was only two spaces away from the mini-fridge. "Well, since there are no more green spaces, head on down to the fridge and grab a box of popsicles!" Benjamin said. "Congrats, Courageous Friendship! You're the first team to make it through the whole game board!"

"Yahoooooo!" Takuya jumped in excitement and dashed on over to the mini-fridge. He opened it, grabbed a box of Popsicles and ran back to his team.

"Yeahhhh! Popsicles! Popsicles!" The boys chanted as they lifted Takuya up.

The Leftovers were the second team to make it to the mini-fridge, and Sincere Love was the last team. Reliable Knowledge was only halfway through the game. "Sorry to inform you, but you guys are up for tonight's elimination," Benjamin frowned. "Cast your votes, because one of you is leaving File Island."

* * *

"So how are we going to do this?" Tommy said.

"I don't want to vote any of you guys off," Henry shook his head.

"Yeah, no one was at fault here," Cody said. "It's not like we could control the outcome of the game."

Also, none of you guys piss me off," Koji said.

"Aww, thanks." Izzy said flatly.

"Meerkompf," Joe slurred.

"I think I've got it!" Thomas exclaimed. "If everyone votes against each other, then we can't be voted off."

"How is that going to work?" Izzy crinkled his eyebrow.

"You see, if everyone has one vote against them, then we all have equal votes. Nobody can be cast off the island unless they have the most votes, right?" Thomas said.

"True," Henry said. "But don't you think we might be playing with fire? What if it doesn't work?"

"If you ask me, this sounds a little like Russian roulette," Izzy tapped his fingers on the table.

"How would you go about this, then?" Koji snarled. "I don't think anyone's willing to volunteer themselves up for elimination. Anyone?"

"This is the only chance we really have," Cody reasoned.

"Koji's right. It can't hurt to give Thomas's idea a try," Tommy shrugged.

"Fine," Izzy reluctantly gave in.

"Berfyminadiff," Joe collapsed and slammed his face against the table.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Well, we've got a predicament here," Benjamin rubbed his chin. "It seems like everyone has one vote each. I've contacted Gennai about this, so he came up with a solution. Since we need to eliminate someone, I've taken the liberty to put all of your names in a hat. The names I pull out are the names of the people who are safe from elimination. The name that I do not pull out must pack their bags and leave on the Loser Cruiser."

"Russian roulette," Izzy muttered.

"The first name is...," Benjamin stuck his hand in the hat and pulled out a slip of paper. "Thomas. Please receive your marshmallow." Thomas got up to get his marshmallow as Benjamin pulled another name out of the hat. "Henry...Koji...Izzy...Tommy. We've got two contestants left. Joe, Cody. One of you guys will receive the marshmallow, while the other person will leave the island empty-handed. the last name I will call out is...," Benjamin put his back inside the hat and moved it around for a couple of seconds. He slowly pulled out a piece of paper and dropped the hat on the floor. Benjamin then slowly unfolded the piece of paper, and lifted it up to face level at an even slower pace. "Joe. Come get the last marshmallow. Oh... I guess the effects of the tranquilizer haven't worn off yet. Here you go," he walked over to Joe and handed him the marshmallow. "Cody, I'm sorry but this is the end of the road for you. It's time for you to go. Au revoir, il mio amigo!"

* * *

_Last words:_

"I guess Izzy was right," Cody said. "Elimination was inevitable, there was no way we could stop it. I wish I got to stay a little longer in the competition. It would be nice to have a chance to be one of the last contestants standing, but I can't dwell on it too much. Who knows? Maybe I'll find another opportunity to reunite with Armadillomon again."


	6. Nobody Puts Babies In The Corner

**Recap: **Gennai comes up with a twisted version of "Don't Wake Daddy", only instead of Daddy, it's an Ogremon at the center of the gigantic board game. The teams must choose someone to be a pawn in the board game. An overconfident Zoe volunteers to be one of the game pieces, and nobody objects to it, hoping that the Ogremon will claw her at least once. During the game, Joe ends up angering the groggy Ogremon. Benjamin tries to paralyze the Ogremon with a tranquilizer, but accidently shoots Joe instead. Reliable Knowledge attends the Campfire Ceremonies, and thanks to their Russian Roulette method, Cody is sent home.

* * *

**Nobody Puts Babies In The Corner**

Takato, Kari, Davis, Kouichi, Takuya, Henry and Jeri were sitting by a huge tree near the cabins. "It's been over three weeks since our last challenge. I'm starting to get a little concerned," Kari said as she leaned her head on Davis's shoulder.

"That is a bit suspicious," Takato snapped the head strap of his goggles.

"Well, José hates us ever since our team won his cabin, so there's no way he would want to be involved with this show anymore," Kouichi shrugged.

"And Benjamin's in huge trouble with the execs after he accidentally shot Joe with a tranquilizer," Henry shook his head.

"So basically, there's no one left to take Gennai's place?" Jeri asked.

"I guess so," Kari shrugged.

"Where did Gennai disappear off to anyways?" Davis asked. "I think it's a bit messed up of him to flake out in the middle of a competition."

"Yeah, but what can we do about it?" Takato said. "Isn't Gennai the big boss around here anyways?"

"Do you guys really want Gennai back?" Jeri said. "He's kinda mean."

"That's true, but I'm here to win a competition," Takuya said.

"I thought we were here because we randomly got sucked back into the Digital World," Kouichi said.

"Shut up," Takuya groaned. "At least my shirt's not pink!"

"For the last time, it's just a really faded-out red!" Kouichi sighed in exasperation.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"I can't believe her. She's such a slut!" Zoe wrinkled her nose.

"What's a slut?" Tommy asked.

"Like your mom," Kazu flashed a mischievous smile while Kenta snickered into his palm. Rika just shook her head. Zoe was too busy glaring at Kari to pay any mind to the vocabulary lesson Tommy was about to receive.

"So my mom's a slut?" Tommy asked.

"Exactly," Kazu nodded. "That just means she's very popular."

"Especially with the guys," Kenta added.

"That's so cool! I didn't know my mom was super popular!" Tommy squealed in excitement.

"How can she just hop from one guy to another?" Zoe continued to stab her food. "First she makes out with the guy with the messy, blond hair and now she's rubbing up against that stupid, doofy-looking gogglehead."

"You're gonna have to be more specific than that," Rika snorted. "There's three goggleheads beside her."

"Davis," Zoe growled.

"Oooh, someone's got the hots for Davie," Kenta mocked.

"I do not!" Zoe slammed her spoon on the table. "I just think it's annoying how that girl can just prance around, bat her eyelashes, and throw herself on top of all of the guys around here."

"Well, how is that any different from what you did during our adventures in the Digital World?" Tommy asked.

"Oh my god, that was too good," Rika laughed so hard she started to tear up. "I have to go now," she picked up her bowl and shook her head as she left the picnic table.

"Kenta...did you just see what I just saw?" Kazu looked horrified.

"What?" Kenta raised his eyebrow.

"Rika just laughed," Kazu said.

"Holy crap. That is pretty scary. But still not as scary as Blondie over here," Kenta pointed at a fuming Zoe.

"Let's go," Kazu whispered loudly.

"Can I come with you guys?" Tommy whimpered.

"Yeah," Kenta nodded. "Just be very quiet and slow. Angry chicks are like man-eating wolves; sudden movements might just provoke them," he said as he slowly tiptoed away from the table.

* * *

_Concurrently..._

"You really should convince your mom to quit being our chef," Marcus pleaded.

"Don't you think I've tried to do that?" Tai groaned. "I told her that she won't even show up on TV, but she just waved me away and called me pessimistic."

"I'm thinking of purposely getting myself eliminated just so I can eat some edible food again," Matt smirked.

"My mom's food isn't that bad!" Tai barked.

"Then explain why you and Kari always come to my house for dinner," Izzy looked up from his laptop.

"And explain how your mom managed to make cereal spontaneously combust that one morning," Sora laughed.

"Wow," Thomas raised his eyebrows. "Is that even possible?"

"Tell me about it," Matt scoffed. "Who messes up cereal? Oh, wait...Tai's mom."

"Okay, so my mom isn't exactly the best cook around," Tai laughed nervously. "But there's no getting rid of her. Trust me, I tried! She's relentless!"

"_Please meet at the campfire logs in five minutes_," a female voice blared through the intercom.

"Whoa, that just sounded like Lady Ophanimon," Koji looked up.

"Lady Ophani-who?" Mimi tilted her head.

"Lady Ophanimon," Thomas pulled out his Digivice. He pressed a button and a hologram of Ophanimon appeared. "She's one of three Celestial Digimon whose purpose is protect the Digital World."

"Wow! That is so cool!" Mimi gushed.

"Thanks," Thomas smiled. "One summer afternoon, I broke apart my Digivice and installed a Digimon Analyzer inside. Nothing too complicated."

"Mimi, I've had a Digimon Analyzer on my laptop for years," Izzy flatly said.

"But it's not cool like Thomas's! His thing is 3-D!"

"That's what she said," Marcus mumbled. Tai and Matt snickered and gave him high-fives.

"Really?" Sora gave the boys disapproving looks. "You guys are mature."

"Mine is also 3-D," Izzy rubbed his temples. "See?" he pressed a button and a hologram of Ophanimon popped out of his computer screen.

"Meh," Mimi said. "I've seen better," she turned over back to Thomas.

"That's what she said," Koji smirked. Izzy shot him a look, which only caused Koji to shrug. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

* * *

"So anyone want to explain why we've been waiting here for fifteen minutes?" Yolei growled and impatiently tapped her foot.

"Just calm down," Ken quietly chuckled.

"This is ridiculous," Takuya took off his hat and wiped his forehead.

"Oh, stop your complaining," Koji rolled his eyes.

"Funny coming out of your mouth," Takuya smirked. "I swear you bitch more than Zoe does."

"Hey!" Zoe snarled.

"Is that so?" Kenta's mouth dropped.

"I mean we sat with her and all she did was bitch about how Kari was a huge whore," Kazu nodded.

"Hey!" Zoe yelled.

"Who said I was a whore?" Kari's eyes widened.

"Okay, which one of you guys called my future girlfriend a whore?" Davis yelled.

"No, I heard someone saying they peeped in a hole in a door to watch Kari change," Ryo scrunched up his face.

"That's not what I heard," Joe shook his head.

"Yeah, I heard that TK wanted to do Kari on the floor," Mimi smiled mischeviously.

"What?" TK and Davis screamed in unison.

Tai shot TK a dirty look. "You horny bastard! I thought I could trust you! You pervert!"

"No no no no no!" TK flailed his hands around. "Trust me, I don't want to do that to her! Honestly!"

"What? So are you saying my sister isn't good enough for you?" Tai screamed as he lunged toward TK. He pinned him to the ground and wrapped his hands around TK's neck.

"Can't...breathe," TK gasped as Tai started to thrash his head against the dirt.

"Get your hands off him!" Matt screamed and tackled Tai.

"Look what you started," Kazu shook his head at Kenta.

"What do you mean me? You're the one that said anything in the first place!" Kenta shrieked.

"I did not!" Kazu protested. "This wouldn't have happened if Zoe wasn't so freaking jealous!"

"What? I'm not jealous of her," Zoe made a disgusted face.

"It sure sounded like it," Rika snorted.

"Stay out of this, pineapple head!" Zoe screamed.

"Oh, it's so on!" Rika pulled a brass knuckle out of her pocket and slipped it on her hand.

"Ohhhh! It's fighting time," Marcus yelled. "Chick fight over here," he called out as he pointed at Zoe and Rika.

"STOP IT!" Jeri stood up on one of the logs and stomped her foot.

"Jeri?" Takato raised his eyebrows in surprise. Everyone abruptly stopped fighting and sat up straight.

"She's right. This is not a UFC event," a handsome, young man stated as he walked to the center of the campfire logs. "We made this a reality show competition so we didn't have to pay for sports insurance."

"Who are you?" Kouichi asked.

"Who cares? He's hot!" Yolei walked over to the young man and stroked his arm. "Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants," she winked at him.

"Gross," the young man shuddered and stepped away from Yolei. "First of all, I'm not wearing any pants," he tugged at his long robe. "Second of all, I invented that pick-up line. For the record, don't try that line on an Angewomon. They can hit pretty hard. Thirdly, you're NOT my type and finally...I'm Gennai."

"Wha-wha-what?" Yolei grimaced. "Are you seriously Gennai?"

"The one and only," the young man nodded.

Davis burst out laughing. "Hahahahah! Yolei hit on an old man!"

"Yolei hit on an old guy! Yolei hit on an old guy!" Tai and Takuya began to chant.

"Don't make fun of her. I am pretty good-looking," Gennai grinned.

"What did you do to yourself?" Mimi's jaw dropped. "The last time we saw you, you were more wrinkled than an overcooked hot dog!"

"And you kind of smelled like one too," Tommy chimed in.

"Thanks," Gennai's face fell flat. "Anyways, while you guys were sitting on your asses waiting for the next challenge, I was on _Extreme Makeovers: Extremely Old People Edition_. Remind me to thank whoever nominated me to be on that show...well, after I kill them. After all of those weeks of getting nipped, tucked, and fuh-ahem, other stuff, I've never felt younger," Gennai smiled. "Look, I can do one of these again!" he did a backflip. "To celebrate my new-found youth, I have a special challenge set up for you! I think you'll like this one. We're going to take a trip to Primary Village!" Gennai announced. He whistled and a black limousine appeared out of the forest.

"Whoa! A limo," Davis was amazed.

"Sweet!" Takuya pumped his fist in the air.

"I wouldn't get too excited," Joe shook his head. "Something tells me there's a catch."

"Smart boy you are," Gennai wagged his finger at Joe. "You guys aren't riding in the limo. You'll be riding on that," Gennai pointed to a huge crate attached to the trunk of the limo.

"What the hell man?" Matt blurted.

"Are you sure that we're all going to fit in that contraption?" Izzy gaped at the crudely built crate.

"We never really thought about it. And honestly, I don't care," Gennai smiled. "Time to hop onto the crate, my dear children!"

"Gennai still smells like an overcooked hot dog," Tommy muttered.

"No no no, little Tommy!" Tai picked Tommy up and placed him inside the crate. "That's the smell of someone slowly dying on the inside."

* * *

_Primary Village..._

"We're finally here!" Gennai excitedly flapped his arms like a bird. The children hopped off of the crate, disgruntled.

"It's about time," an Elecmon said. "The babies are out of control and I need a break! Even though they're cute, it sucks having to take care of all the babies by myself!"

"Well, you know me," Gennai said. "I love to encourage the youth to be more like me and volunteer."

"What is he talking about?" Takato whispered.

Marcus rubbed his chin. "I don't know, but the only thing I'm hearing from his mouth is bullsh-"

"Welcome to your next challenge!" Gennai said in a booming voice.

"What exactly is our next challenge?" Henry asked.

"Hello? Babies. Everywhere. Primary frickin Village!," Gennai said as if it were obvious. "Use your imaginations! What, Takuya?"

"Are we gonna have to put all the babies on cargo trains again? Cause we already did that, and I don't like getting shat on," Takuya said.

"Okay, you're using way too much imagination," Gennai bit his lip. "I guess I'll have to spell it out for you," he shook his head. "While Elecmon is busy taking the day off, you are going to be in charge of taking care of the babies. I've taken the liberty of dividing Primary village into four sections, one section for each team. When Elecmon and I return at night, we will judge each team on how happy the babies are. We will give points depending on how clean, well-fed, quiet, and overall happy the babies are. The more well-taken care of the babies are, the more points your team will receive. The team that scores the least amount of points will have to participate in tonight's campfire ceremonies, where the team will have to vote off one of their beloved members. I wish you the best of luck, now get to work!" Gennai said. He and Elecmon hopped into the limo and they drove away.

"Well, this is great," Zoe dropped her arms to the side.

"I don't know how to take care of babies," Ken said. "I'm an only child."

"We're just going to have to try our best," Sora said.

"Yeah, whatever the redhead said," Marcus said. "Divide and conquer!"

"Okay!" everyone else chanted as they ran off to their sections.

* * *

_Courageous Friendship..._

"All these babies won't stop crying!" Davis squeezed his head.

"Calm down! You're only making it worse," Matt said.

"This _is _overwhelming," Takato scratched his head.

"Instead of talking about how insane this is, why don't we get a move on and do something about it?" Rika scowled.

"Chick's right," Marcus nodded.

"Well, does anyone have any ideas?" Tai shrugged.

"Rika," Takato glanced at her. "Maybe you should sing to the babies. You have a pretty voice."

"Shut up," Rika crossed her arms.

"Whoa! You can sing?" Marcus said in shock.

"Yeah!" Takato exclaimed. "She has the voice of a princess!"

"Do you want to die?" Rika snapped the strap of Takato's googles.

"Owww!"

"Waaaahhhh!" The babies started to cry.

"Can you guys knock it off? The babies are getting more upset!" Matt yelled, which only made the babies cry even louder.

"Way to go, Mattykins," Tai shook his head. "What are we gonna do now?"

"I've got a great idea!" Takuya pulled out a flask.

"Where'd you get that?" Matt sounded concerned.

"I took it from Gennai's robe when he wasn't looking."

"What are you going to do with that thing?" Davis raised an eyebrow.

Takuya shook the flash. "When I was younger, my mom would slip some liquor into my milk so that I would fall asleep instantly. I would be out for hours. So, if we ration this out enough, we could put it in the all the baby bottles, and the digibabies would sleep peacefully until Gennai comes back."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rika gave Takuya a skeptical look.

"Definitely!" Takuya gave her a thumbs up. "My mom used to give me whiskey all the time, and I turned out perfectly normal!"

* * *

_Reliable Knowledge..._

"Hmmm," Thomas rubbed his chin. "We need to come up with a solution to calm these babies down."

"Joe, do you know anything about babies?" Henry asked.

"Besides the fact that they poop, eat, and cry constantly? No," Joe shook his head. "We don't learn about child care until Chapter 18."

"Their crying makes me want to cry too," Tommy wailed along with the babies. "Waaahhhhh!"

"Great, not only do we have to make the babies stop crying, we have to make Tommy stop crying too," Koji took off his bandana and wrung it.

"You're mean!" Tommy cried even harder.

"Thanks, Koji. Thanks a lot," Henry gave himself a facepalm. "You definitely helped the situation."

"How about we all stop pointing fingers at each other and _try _to be good babysitters?" Izzy began to get irritated.

"Seriously," Thomas said. "We have to start working together. With our combined smarts, we should be able to make these babies...and Tommy happy."

* * *

_Sincere Love..._

"Ewwwie, ewwwie, ewwwie!" Mimi grimaced as she held a baby as far away from her as possible.

"Stop complaining," Yolei shook her head. "Be lucky that you're an only child."

"But they're so smelly! And one of them spit up on me," Mimi whined.

"How you be grossed out by that when they are so cute?" Zoe cooed.

"Ahhh! One of them bit my hand!" Kenta screamed.

"Loser," Kazu laughed.

"Here, I don't want it anymore," Mimi dropped a baby into Sora's arms.

"You can't do that! We're a team. That means you have to do your fair share too!" Sora said.

"Honestly," Zoe said as she cleaned off one of the babies.

"Fine," Mimi crossed her arms. "But I'm not cleaning them, holding them, or feeding them!"

"Well, what are you willing to do?" Sora sighed.

"Something that isn't messy or gross," Mimi replied.

"Oh Jesus," Yolei said.

* * *

_The Leftovers..._

"So is this where all the Digimon go after they die?" Jeri tugged on TK's arm.

"Yep. This is the place where new Digimon are born and old ones are reborn," TK smiled.

"So does that mean that I might see Leomon?" Jeri squealed.

"Possibly," TK shrugged.

"I wonder what Leomon looks like as a baby," Jeri sighed happily. "Leomon! Where are you?"

"Why is she obsessed with Leomon?" Ken asked.

"Leomon was her partner," Ryo explained. "You see, she loved Leomon with all of her heart. When he was killed, Jeri's spirit was crushed. She was devastated and she was depressed for a long time. She's doing better now, but it took her a while to come to terms with his death."

"That's so sad," Kari put her hand to her heart. Kouichi nodded as he watched Jeri excitedly run from cradle to cradle.

* * *

_Judging Time..._

"Hmmm, which team did you think did the best so far?" Gennai asked Elecmon.

"I can't decide," Elecmon said. "Sincere Love was pretty disappointing. The babies are disgustingly smelly and dirty. They were worse off than before I left. On the other hand, Reliable Knowledge didn't do any better. They did so horribly that even Tommy was crying. I mean, I would cry too if my team did that badly."

"Well, here's hoping that the other two teams are doing a better job," Gennai said as they walked over to the Leftovers.

"Impressive. The babies are really happy," Elecmon said.

"We couldn't have done it without Jeri," Kari said.

"Yeah," TK nodded. "She's been entertaining them with her sock puppet."

"They haven't cried at all," Ken nodded.

"Wow," Gennai was impressed. "They're clean, full, and happy. I'm shocked that you did a good job. I didn't have much hope in you guys at all!"

"Uh, thanks?" Kouichi said.

"You guys are the best team so far," Elecmon said. "You might even win the challenge!"

"Cool," Ryo said.

"Well, we still need to check out Courageous Friendship," Gennai said as he led Elecmon to the last team's section.

"Oh my," Elecmon said. "They're all sleeping peacefully! How did you guys do it?"

"It's a secret," Takuya winked.

"I can't believe it actually worked," Rika muttered under her breath.

"I know, but I have this nagging feeling," Takato said.

"What the hell?" Gennai screamed as he held up a baby. "Why do they smell like alcohol?"

"Uh...because we used rubbing alcohol to disinfect the babies?" Takuya uptalked.

"I don't think that's the type of alcohol he's talking about, dingus!" Matt hissed.

"Oh my god, are these babies drunk?" Gennai gasped.

"Nooooo...," Tai cowered.

Gennai frantically shook the baby. It woke up and burped loudly in Gennai's face. "That is unmistakably the smell of whiskey!"

"You fed the babies alcohol?" Elecmon was furious. "That's child abuse!"

"Way to go," Gennai shook his head in disappointment. "Because of this, you guys head directly to the campfire ceremonies. Do not pass go, and do not collect $200. I hope you're proud of yourselves."

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I can't believe we even listened to him in the first place," Rika said. "I don't know whether to vote him out for being so stupid or to vote myself out for being stupid enough to listen to him."

* * *

"Oh, trust me," Matt shook his head. "The choice is obvious."

* * *

"I knew something was wrong, I just knew it!" Takato said. "I guess I should listen to my gut feeling more often."

"Yeah, you should," Marcus said. "I listen to my gut all the time."

"Then how come you didn't say anything about it?" Tai smirked.

"Because my gut's too busy screaming 'Tai's mom sucks at cooking!'" Marcus smirked back.

* * *

"Maybe we would have done a better job if Rika wasn't such a bad sport. She's even more difficult than Koji was," Takuya said.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies_...

"Well, isn't this nice. You two received the most votes," Gennai said. "Wanna explain yourselves?"

"I think you guys are only voting me out just so my mom can leave too," Tai said.

"Yeah," Marcus nodded.

"Pretty much," Davis shrugged.

"I didn't do anything wrong," Takuya said. "I was the reason those babies fell asleep!"

"And you were also the reason our team is going through this dumb campfire ceremony," Rika snarled.

"And for that, we thank you," Matt rolled his eyes.

"Alright, my mistake for letting you guys talk," Gennai groaned. "Shut up before this last marshmallow goes stale!"

"Is it me or does it seem like Gennai's gotten more obnoxious ever since his makeover?" Takato said.

"I heard that!" Gennai said. "I could kick your ass onto the Loser Cruiser, but then people would think I was a huge jerkwad."

"Right," Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Anyways, the last marshmallow goes to... Tai! Takuya, get your crap and hop on the Loser Crusier! It's the least you could do for disappointing your team. Everyone else, have a splendid night!"

* * *

_Last words:_

"This sucks! You give the babies a little bit of bourbon, and everyone gives you hell for it!" Takuya tugged his hair. "As long as the job gets done, who cares how we do it? And by the way, all you parents out there! Yeah, you guys! Don't act like you never slipped some alcohol into your kids' bottles. I know damn well that every parent has done it at least once!"


	7. Hooray For The File Island Relay!

**Recap: **Last week's episode was completely celebrating youthfulness. Whether it's Tommy receiving an important vocabulary or Gennai getting a new look, it's definitely shaking things up.Gennai brings the kids to Primary Village so that they can babysit the baby digimon. Reliable Knowledge and Sincere Love struggle making the babies happy, but thanks to Takuya's unorthodox idea, Courageous Friendship successfully puts the babies to sleep. Because of that method, Gennai sends Courageous Friendship to the infamous Campifre Ceremonies. The team kicks Takuya out, because let's get real, Takuya was the one who got the team in hot water.

**Hurray For The File Island Relay!**

"Why did you make us wake up at 4 in the morning?" Ken rubbed his eyes.

"If I recall, I didn't make you guys do anything," Gennai put his hands on his hips. "I just simply splashed your faces with cold water and asked the interns to tie ropes around your ankles and drag you guys out of bed."

"Thanks to your little stunt, my hair is completely messed up!" Matt tried to pat down a cowlick.

"Boo hoo, cry me a river," Mimi pouted. "At least your hair doesn't look like this," she pointed to the afro on top of her head.

"Whoa, so that's what your natural hair looks like?" Tommy asked in awe. "You look like a dandelion!"

"Bah ha ha ha ha! Your hair looks ridiculous!" Kazu pointed at Mimi. Kenta was rolling on the floor, his face purple from laughing so hard. Mimi started to wail, which only caused Tommy to start crying too.

"It is way too early to be crying," Gennai groaned. He poured some Bailey's cream into his coffee mug.

"And isn't it a bit too early to be drinking?" Henry asked.

"Shut up! When the hell did you become Emily Post all of a sudden?" Gennai snorted.

"Emily who?" Kouichi asked.

"Forget it," Gennai sighed. He finished his coffee and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his robe. "So guess why I brought you guys here!"

Yolei looked up at the dark sky. "Uh, so you could make our lives a living hell?"

"Yes!" Gennai grinned. "But that's not the answer I'm looking for. Anyone else wanna take a guess?"

"We're gonna play hide-and-seek?" Tai shrugged.

"You damn moron!" Gennai hurled his empty coffee mug at Joe.

"Owww!" the mug hit Joe on the side of the head.

"Hee hee," Gennai stupidly giggled. "I've always wanted to do that! It's finally out of my system!"

"What the? Why? I didn't even say anything!" Joe clutched his face.

"Because it's fun!" Gennai clasped his hands together. "And I saw it in a movie. Before I get off topic, I realized that something very unusual happened. In fact, this occurrence is so rare, that I don't think it will happen again so I decided to take advantage of it before I missed my chance."

"Are we gonna see the Big Dipper?" Jeri asked.

"We're in the Digital World," Izzy huffed. "The constellations are completely different here."

"Oh," Jeri looked down at her feet, crestfallen.

"After several eliminations, each team has an equal number of members. Weird, right?" Gennai cocked his head. The kids all looked around and started to count each other.

"Holy crap, he's right!" TK gasped.

"Of course I'm right!" Gennai snapped. "Do you also get the fact that you guys are killing my time right now?" Gennai stomped his foot.

"Why? You don't have anything better to do," Henry shrugged.

"Touché, but I do love seeing you guys have difficulty attempting all these challenges!" he grinned. "And today's challenge is a...relay race. Good idea, huh?"

"There has to be some sort of catch," Ryo rubbed his chin. "This sounds a little too easy."

"And indeed, it is!" Gennai flashed a wicked smile. "This relay race is gonna take place across the entire island!"

"Psh, so what?" Koji scoffed. "I mean, it's not like this island is that big."

"Oh, you have no idea," Gennai rubbed his hands together. "Prepare for possibly the biggest physical challenge so far. This relay race will test your physical strengths, abilities, and endurance. But don't worry, it won't take you guys that long to finish this race, especially on an island as small as this. Right, Koji?"

"Uh...okay?" Koji cocked his eyebrow.

Gennai smirked. "The interns made a path around the island, which is divided into sections. You teams will go head to head and race to get to the end of the path first. Each contestant will be assigned their own section, which they must run, unless they want their team to fail. The starting person will hold one of these flags," Gennai motioned to a couple of flags that were stuck to the sand. "When they make it to the next section, they must hand it to their teammate, who will then run through their section, and pass it on until the last teammate gets it. The last teammate will then run to the end of the path and stick their flag on a podium. The last team to get their flag on the podium will be sent to the campfire ceremonies tonight. Oh, and by the way, there might be some obstacles and booby traps scattered around the path."

"Figures," Takato sighed.

"Hey, it makes the game more entertaining...at least to me," Gennai smirked. Okay, so who wants to be the first ones to race?"

"Me!" Zoe shot her hand up.

"Didn't see that coming," Yolei muttered sarcastically.

"Be nice!" Sora hissed. Yolei only rolled her eyes.

"I'll go too," Ryo volunteered.

"Same here," Thomas said.

"Me too!" Davis jumped up and down, very hyper.

"Hey! Save that energy for the race!" Rika yelled. "Doof."

"Okay, since we got the starters, the rest of you will be flown to your sections by helicopter," Gennai said.

"Whoa! When did that appear?" TK said.

"Why does it seem like you say the dumbest things?" Gennai's eye twitched.

"Wha-wha-what?" TK stuttered.

"Then again, I guess you can't expect much from a boy who wears a fisherman hat, bicycle shorts, and green Uggs all in one outfit. Especially when he's sober," Gennai shook his head.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Ha ha ha ha ha! That made me laugh so hard, I almost crapped myself!" Davis wiped his tears off.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" TK pulled on his tight shorts.

"You look like a dork," Davis snorted.

"I do not!" TK protested.

"Yes you do!" Davis yelled. "Besides, I know you stuff tube socks down there to make your crotch look bigger!"

"What?"

"It's true, isn't it?" Davis jumped off from the bench. "Dear audience, I will now give you proof that TK is a crotch stuffer!" Davis put his hand inside TK's shorts.

"What the hell are you doing?" TK exclaimed. "Get your hand out of there!"

"Okay...so I didn't find any socks," Davis frowned. "So does that make us friends with benefits now?"

"Maybe," TK shrugged. "But next time you wanna go to third base with me, at least take me to dinner first," he joked.

* * *

"Now, get in the copter, the rest of you!" Gennai shoved the kids onto the rickety helicopter.

"I hope we're not gonna die," Jeri gulped.

"Don't worry, children! I'm the pilot, so you're in good hands!" Mrs. Kamiya said from the cockpit.

"Mom?" Tai gasped.

"Do you even have a pilot's license?" Kari asked.

"No, but it can't be any different then a driver's license, right?" Mrs. Kamiya smiled.

"Oh dear God," Joe began to hyperventilate.

"Does your mom have something against us?" Takato asked Kari.

"If she's not trying to kill us with her cooking, she tries to kill us by flying this death trap," Marcus growled in Tai's ear.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Sometimes I wonder the same thing," Tai rubs his chin. "Look Mom, I'm sorry I failed spelling...and fingerpainting...and history throughout elementary school, but still! That doesn't give you the right to take it out on my friends! And those other guys."

* * *

"Now that the rest of your teammates are flying in safety with Pilot Kamiya, grab your flags! Courageous Friendship will be represented by the red flag, Reliable Knowledge with blue, Sincere Love with green, and the Leftovers with the yellow flag. Now get into your starting positions!" Gennai commanded. "On your mark, get set...go!"

* * *

_Section 1: The Beach_

"What the hell is Zoe doing?" Davis looked back at Zoe.

"Don't pay any attention to her," Ryo said, jogging alongside Davis. "She's probably trying to distract us, and clearly it's working."

"What do you mean by that?" Davis asked.

"Because you're still looking at her. If you ignored her, you would probably be in the lead. Now if you don't mind, I have a race to win," Ryo picked up his pace and ran in front of Davis.

Davis looked as Ryo ran across the sandy beach. He then turned around to look at Zoe, who was still at the starting line. Davis watched her with disbelief as she tied her sneakers and socks to the flagpole. "What the hell is she doing?" Davis shouted. He took his focus off Zoe and saw that Thomas was running awkwardly slow. "Run Forrest, Run!" Davis taunted and shook his head. "I swear, I'm competing with the biggest lunatics ever!" He tried to catch up with Ryo, but Ryo was far ahead of him. "At least I know I'll be second place," Davis shrugged. "Anything is better than to be on the chopping block," he said. He started to run faster, but stopped seconds later. "I hate getting sand in my shoes!" he sat down and shook the sand out of his sneakers.

"I'm not so weird now, am I?" Zoe laughed as she ran ahead of Davis.

"What the?" Davis was stunned. He grabbed his sneakers and tied them together. He then stuck his flagpole on the inside of one of his shoes and stood up. "Crap! Now I have sand in my ass! This challenge sucks!" Davis groaned as he shook his butt to get the sand out of his pants. With flag in hand, Davis ran as fast as he could and surpassed Zoe. "Nyah nyah!" he stuck out his tongue.

"Screw you, goggle brain!" Zoe yelled.

"Hah hah! I'm ahead of everyone!" Davis momentarily skipped, but then resumed running normally. "Well, almost everyone," he glared in front of him. Ryo was only a tiny speck from Davis's view. "Oh man, I'm getting...kinda...tired," Davis panted. He slowed down a bit, only to be surprised when Thomas ran ahead of him.

"Slow and steady wins the race," Thomas momentarily faced Davis and continued to sprint at his regular, consistent speed.

"Damn that guy," Davis grit his teeth. "Now I'm beginning to understand why Marcus gets annoyed by him." Davis tried to catch his breath, but Zoe zoomed past him.

"Nyah nyah!" she blew him a raspberry.

"Why does it seem more annoying when you do it?" Davis hollered, but Zoe ignored him and kept running.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary with Gennai!_

"Seems like things aren't working out too well with Davis!" Gennai chuckled. "So far, Ryo is in the lead with Thomas hot on his trail. Zoe seems to be catching up to the boys, but she's not quite there yet. So Mrs. Kamiya, who do you think will make it to the next section first?"

"Well, Ryo is pretty fast, but Thomas might beat him. You see, Thomas has this technique of running at a steady pace so he doesn't overwork his body. If Ryo gets exhausted, Thomas will definitely get the upper hand. On the other hand, Zoe is a good sprinter, but the whole tying her shoes to the flag might leave her at a disadvantage. As smart as her strategy was, it was time-consuming and because of that, I don't think she'll make it to her teammate first."

"You make some pretty valid points there," Gennai rubbed his chin. "Hey, by the way...aren't you supposed to fly the helicopter?"

"Yeah," Mrs. Kamiya said. "But I put it on auto-pilot, so I've got everything under control."

"Uh, Mrs. Kamiya?"

"What's up?" she smiled at Gennai.

"I bought that helicopter for $25 on eBay. That auto-pilot doesn't work."

"Oh," Mrs. Kamiya stared blankly at the camera.

"Well that's it for this installment of TDI Commentary with Gennai!" Gennai laughed nervously. "For the record, the kids are fine! Seriously...I hope...kinda."

* * *

_Section 2: The Tundra_

"Whoa, Thomas!" Tommy screamed. "You're the first guy here! Yay!"

"As much as I want to celebrate, you should take the flag and run," Thomas handed him the blue flag.

"Okay! I got this," Tommy nodded and ran off. "Sure, it's pretty cold out here, but I...the Legendary Warrior of Ice can handle this!"

"Aww, shut up!" Kenta said. "Isn't your Human spirit a talking teddy bear?"

"You're mean! I hate you!" Tommy screamed.

"Hey, don't make fun of Tommy!" Kouichi said. "At least he's not partnered with a digimon that looks like a pink sperm with wings!"

* * *

_Freeze Cam With Gennai!_

"Hah hah, Freeze Cam! Get it? Freeze Cam as in we're freezing the camera, and the contestants are running through the cold?" Gennai winked at the empty audience. "Well forget you! I thought it was clever! Anyways, let's replay what happened! Camera guy?"

"Sure thing, boss...," the cameraman sighs and hits the rewind button.

"At least he's not paired up with a digimon that looks like a pink sperm with wings!" Kouichi said.

"Oh my god, that was epic!" Gennai laughed. "The first time I hear Kouichi being a jerkass! Hey Camera Guy, do you think Kouichi will say more clever things as the show goes on?"

"Honestly, I don't care," the cameraman pouted. "I just wanna go on my break. I've been working for 26 hours already."

"Well, you're not getting a break! Especially with that attitude," Gennai scoffed.

* * *

_Back to Section 2: The Tundra_

"Geez, Davis! Took you long enough!" Matt snatched the flag out of his hands.

"Sorry," Davis pouted.

"And why the hell are your shoes tied to this thing?" Matt angrily shook the sneakers off the flagpole.

"Because I got sand in my shoes," Davis whimpered.

Matt shook his head and started running off. "Dumbass," he muttered. He angrily stomped in the direction of the other contestants and heard a high-pitched scream.

"AAAAHHHH!"

"What the hell is going on?" Matt grumbled. He dashed over to see Kenta trembling in fear.

"Tommy! I'm sorry I made fun of your beast spirit!" Kenta screamed. "Talking teddy bears are scarier than I thought!"

"Who are you calling a talking teddy bear?" a Frigimon growled. "Can a talking teddy bear do this? Subzero Ice Punch!" the Frigimon punched the ground. It began to crack underneath Kenta's feet and he fell into icy, cold water. He grabbed Tommy for support, but ended up dragging Tommy down with him.

"Why did you do that?" Tommy screamed.

"I didn't want to fall in the water!" Kenta whined.

"Now we're both in the water!" Tommy cried.

"Good thing I'm competing with morons," Matt said under his breath. "Makes winning a lot easier."

"Hey Matt! Is that you?" the Frigimon pointed to Matt.

"He knows Matt?" Tommy and Kenta said in unison.

"Yeah, it's me!" Matt nodded his head.

"Oh Mattyboy! It's been a long time since I've seen you!" Frigimon ran up to Matt and gave him a huge hug. "So how are things with you? Did you finally find your brother?"

"Yes, I did."

"That's good, that's good," Frigimon said. "So how's the little tyke?"

"He's definitely not that little anymore," Matt said. "Any more, and he'll be taller than me!"

"Wow, time flies by so quickly!" Frigimon sniffled. "You need a ride? I can bring you to your teammate if you want."

"That would be cool," Matt flicked his hair.

"Alrighty," he hoisted Matt up and placed him on his shoulders. "Get ready, cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" Frigimon began running off, Matt in tow.

"What the heck?" Kenta shrieked. "He gets a ride while we're stuck here?"

"It's better than being in Kouichi's situation," Tommy pointed at Kouichi, who was only a couple of feet away from the cracked ground.

"Uhhh," Kouichi groaned in pain, underneath a huge pile of snow.

"Serves him right for calling MarineAngemon a pink sperm," Kenta crossed his arms and turned his nose up in the air.

* * *

_Section 3: The Mountain_

"What happened to you?" Kari pried the yellow flag from Kouichi's frozen fingers.

"F-f-frostb-b-bite," Kouichi shivered.

"Here," Kari handed him her scarf. "I know it's not much, but it might help keep you warm."

"Th-th-thanks...K-k-kari," Kouichi took the tiny scarf and examined it. He tried to wrap it around his hand, but the scarf was too small, so he rubbed it on his face.

"Oh my god," Sora gasped. "I think these rocks are going to crumble," she said nervously as she felt around for something steady.

"This reminds me of the time I had a dream that I was climbing a mountain made of Oreos," Joe bit his lip. "I grabbed on to a huge chunk and the whole mountain crumbled down in a sea of 2% milk!"

"Uh, okay?" Sora gave him a weird look. "Well, good luck with that...I guess?" she patted Joe on the head and climbed further up the mountain.

"No! Don't leave!" Joe yelled hysterically. "Don't leave! I'm scared of heights!"

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" Tai laughed from the top of the mountain. "I'm king of the WORLD!"

"Not if you keep standing there laughing like some evil guy!" Kari yelled.

"Yeah! That's my job!" Devimon snuck up behind Tai.

"Not you again," Sora groaned.

"Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you again too," Devimon grimaced. "Here's a welcome back present for you! Death Hand!" he outstretched his hand and knocked Tai down from the mountain.

"Whoa!" Tai yelled as he tumbled to the bottom of the mountain.

"Don't worry, I have something for the rest of you. I don't like to leave people out; it just wouldn't be fair to you," Devimon chuckled. He raised his arms like a mummy and the mountain began to shake.

"This is what I was afraid of!" Joe screamed. "Only there isn't any 2% milk to break my fall!"

"Ahhhh!" Sora lost her grip and fell. She knocked into Joe, causing him to fall down the mountain too.

"We're goners!" Joe cried.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Devimon flashed a wicked smile. "Hey, a new person!" he looked at Kari.

"Leave her alone!" Tai growled.

"What are you going to do about it if I don't?" Devimon smirked. "Isn't she just so cute? She's like a little doll," he picked Kari up and flicked her head.

"I'll...I'll..." Tai was at a loss for words. "Damn."

"I'll tell your mom on you!" Joe said triumphantly. Sora and Tai gave themselves a face palm.

"Oooh, I'm so scared!" Devimon mocked. He shook Kari around, laughing as her face turned red.

"Please put me down! I think my head's gonna snap off," Kari begged.

"No, this is too much fun!" Devimon laughed.

"I said please!" Kari yelped.

"And I don't care," Devimon snapped.

"When I get my hands on you, you're gonna be in big trouble!" Tai shook his fist at Devimon.

"I'd like to see you try!" Devimon held his free hand up in the direction of the already crumbling mountain. "Death Hand!" The mountain broke apart into many boulders, crushing Tai, Joe, and Sora. "You're coming with me," he said to Kari.

"Tai! Help!" Kari screamed.

"I'm coming!" Tai wiggled out of the pile of rocks.

"You can't do this alone," Sora struggled to escape from the boulders.

"I'll just stay here," Joe said. "It's less dangerous to have a mountain crushing me."

"Suit yourself," Tai said as he pulled Sora out from the rocks. They ran to Devimon.

"You messed with the wrong guys!" Sora stood in a defensive pose.

"Damn straight! I'm gonna kick your ass!" Tai pointed at him.

"Oooh, please don't hurt me," Devimon pretended to be scared.

"Screw you!" Tai ran up to Devimon's ankle and began to punch it.

"That doesn't hurt," Devimon scoffed.

"How about now?" Sora joined Tai and swung away at Devimon's ankle.

"Yeah. Butterflies punch harder than- OWWWW!"

"Just keep doing what you're doing!" Tai said.

"On it," Sora nodded.

"Stop it!" Devimon commanded.

"Why? I thought it didn't hurt," Sora smirked.

"It doesn't hurt," Devimon bit his lip. "It's just annoying!"

"Well, we're not gonna stop!" Tai taunted and continued punching him.

"Holy Mother Mary!" Devimon screamed. He let go of Kari and she fell onto the ground.

"Yay! We saved Kari!" Tai hugged Kari.

"No you didn't!" Devimon said. "She bit me!" he pointed at Kari. "Look! I'm bleeding! Now I have to wash my hands!" Devimon whimpered and stomped off.

"That was all it took?" Sora exclaimed. "Seriously? The same guy that turned Angemon into a Digiegg? You've got to be kidding me!"

"At least it worked," Kari shrugged.

* * *

_Section 4: The Darkness_

"Okay, I can't see much, but I know we're definitely behind," Koji clenched his fists. "I'm gonna choke him with my bandana if he doesn't get here soon!"

"Who are you gonna choke?" Joe said. He tried handing Koji the flag, but ended up knocking him in the head with it. "Sorry," Joe apologized. "I can't see you." He attempted to give the flag to Koji again, but the flagpole poked Koji in the eye.

"Son of a bitch!" Koji yelled. "You know what? Just drop the flag on the ground! I'll just feel around for it."

"Okay," Joe sighed.

Koji finally found the flag and cautiously walked around. "Damn darkness," he huffed. "If I had my spirits, I could turn into Lobomon or something."

"Well you don't have it, so stop whining," Yolei muttered. "You Frontier kids are all the same."

"Oh yeah? What's that supposed to mean?" Koji grit his teeth.

"Just face it," Yolei said as she tried to walk in the dark. "You guys won't last that long in this competition anyways. Especially when you brag about how you guys can turn into digimon. It gets old you know!"

"Well, your big mouth gets old! You're so obnoxious!" Koji spat back.

"Oh yeah? Your momma's so old, her Social Security number is 1!" Yolei yelled.

"Really?" Koji shook his head. "Your mom is so old, she left her purse on Noah's Ark!"

"Well yo momma's so old-"

"AAAHHH!" Jeri screamed.

"Jeri! Where are you?" Rika called from far away. "Are you okay!"

"I don't know! I just felt a whole bunch of bats flying at me and it freaked me out! I hate the dark," Jeri whimpered.

"Did you say bats?" Yolei yelled. She tried to get closer to the girls to find out what was going on.

"Yeah," Koji said. "Why? Scared that you missed your family flying by?"

"What? My family aren't bats!" Yolei was getting frustrated.

"Then why are you so batshit crazy?" Koji smirked.

_*Comedic Drumroll*_

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Koji asked.

"Okay, who's playing the drums?" Rika said, irritated.

"Do you really want to know?" a creepy male voice echoed. A bunch of bats flew in one spot and piled up against each other.

"I'm scared," Jeri trembled.

"Dammit, not this guy again," Yolei groaned. "Why don't you just die already?"

"Boo hoo, that's not very nice to say," the voice said. The pile of bats began to form a vampire digimon.

"Edward Cullen?" Jeri asked.

"No! Not Edward Cullen! Why does everyone say that?" the digimon stomped his foot. "It's Myotismon to you!"

"Man, I wish it was Edward Cullen," Rika groaned. "It would be a lot easier to beat up a guy who sparkles in the sun."

"Hey! Someone's got spunk," Myotismon said. "For that, you should get some Crimson Lightning!"

"Ahhh!" the kids screamed.

"Run!" Koji yelled at the top of his lungs. "This Twilight freak is a nutcase!"

Koji, Rika, Yolei, and Jeri kept running away and trying to dodge Myotismon's attacks.

"Crimson Lightning! Grisly Wing! Nightmare Wave!"

"Hey, I see a little light," Jeri gasped as she ran for her life.

"Shit, we're dead, aren't we?" Yolei groaned.

"Who knows?" Koji shrugged. "Just keep running toward the light."

"I guess we'll find out soon," Rika said.

The kids ran until they could see each other's faces.

"What the hell?" Koji looked straight ahead.

"Nothing here makes any sense!" Yolei gripped her head.

"Is that a mirage?" Jeri asked.

"I'll destroy you brats in one swipe!" Myotismon threatened. He was advancing toward the kids, but then screamed. "Ahhh! The light! Must hide away!" With one swish of his cape, Myotismon dissolved into the bats again and flew back into the forest.

* * *

_Section 5: The Desert_

"What are you guys doing just standing there? Pass us the flags!" Izzy shouted.

"Do you see this?" Yolei moved her arms around. "How is it dark and creepy there and suddenly turns into a sunny, hot desert here?"

"Who cares?" Mimi grabbed the flag from Yolei's hands. "The sooner I can get out of here, the better! My hair's gonna look as bad as Izzy's!"

"Thanks," Izzy said flatly.

"Hey, while you guys are talking about girly crap, the other teams are ahead of us!" Koji grunted. "But take your time. It's not like we have a competition to win!"

"Yeah...I'm out of here," Izzy took the flag from Koji and started advancing toward Takato.

"Wait for meeeee!" Mimi whined.

"Uh Meems?" Yolei said. "This is a RACE! That means no one is gonna wait for you. Now run!" she shoved Mimi forward.

"Wow, Yolei's pretty loud," TK laughed to himself. He looked behind to see Izzy and Takato running side by side. Mimi was far behind, running crookedly from struggling with her flag. TK shook his head and focused back on the path. Things were going smoothly until he felt something hit against his knee. "What the heck is that?" TK looked down to see Starmon and Deputymon holding BB guns.

"Freeze! You don't wanna mess with us, boy!" Starmon aimed his gun at TK's face.

"What? Are you kidding me?" TK laughed.

"No, we're damn serious!" Starmon shook his fist at him.

"Sure, maybe we didn't pass the Sheriff Academy," Deputymon growled.

"But you don't know what we're capable of," Starmon threatened.

"Right," TK shook his head. "Anyways, I gotta be somewhere so bye!"

"Don't run away from us!" Starmon yelled. He and Deputymon shot TK in the knee several times.

"What the heck?" TK yelled. "I've got somewhere to be and you guys are only getting in the way!" he shoved past them and stumbled off.

"Hey! Don't run away from us!" Starmon screamed.

"Look, more targets!" Deputymon nudged him.

"That's great and all, but I'm out of pellets," Starmon shook his toy gun.

"Me too," Deputymon pouted. "Hey! If we find some bullets fast enough, we might be able to shoot the other kids!"

"Good idea!" Starmon gasped. The digimon plopped down and began burrowing in the sand to find some bullets. "I just wish we passed the Sheriff Academy. Maybe then we could have used our digimon powers."

"At least we passed elementary school," Deputymon shrugged. "I heard they send the very slow learners to a secluded island. From the rumors I heard, it's pretty bad there. Those digimon don't even know how to speak."

"Good thing we lucked out," Starmon said.

* * *

_Section 5: The Jungle/TDI Sports Commentary with Gennai! (Of course...)_

"We're at the last inning of the challenge, the wild jungle!" Gennai exclaimed. "At this point, anything can happen. The suspense is killing me!"

"Tell me about it," Mrs. Kamiya gushed.

"So which team are you rooting for? Your kids are on different teams," Gennai nudged her.

"I'm not choosing sides," Mrs. Kamiya pretended to zipper her lips shut. "I'm just gonna watch it all unfold."

"Now those are some wise words," Gennai nodded. "Cameraman! Be a darling and focus on the screen here," he tapped on a big-screen TV.

"I'm not getting paid enough for this," the cameraman muttered.

"Wow! There seems to be a lot of Shurimon attacking the kids," Mrs. Kamiya gasped.

"I know. Isn't it awesome?" Gennai chuckled.

"I can see Marcus, Ken, and Henry but where is Kazu?" Mrs. Kamiya nodded.

"I have no idea," Gennai rubbed his chin and shrugged. "It is survival of the fittest."

* * *

"Ninja Wind! Double Stars! Ninja Wind!" the Shurimon attacked the kids from different places.

"Oh really? If that's how you want to play, it's fighting time!" he charged toward one of the Shurimon and punched it. The Shurimon fell back and a Fractal Code began to appear.

"You can't defeat them like that!" Henry said. "You need to have a strategy!"

"Pffft, like I haven't heard that one before," Marcus said as he effortlessly beat up the Shurimon.

"He's right," Ken said as he spun a twig around in his hands. "For example, kendo is good," Ken said as he hit one of the Shurimon with the twig.

"No, I think Tai Chi is way better," Henry said. "At least I'm not relying on some stupid object to do the fighting for me. And it's also strategic, so in your face!"

"Whatever," Marcus scoffed as he punched another Shurimon senseless. "My method is just as good as yours are."

* * *

"Whoa ho ho," Gennai rubbed his hands together. "I see they're having a bit of a disagreement right here over their fighting styles. It's only a matter of time before they start beating the crap out of each other!"

"That's nice and all, but I'm getting a bit concerned about Kazu," Mrs. Kamiya fidgeted with her necklace.

"Who's Kazu? I never heard of a Kazu!" Gennai began to panic. "As far as I'm concerned, Kazu doesn't exist. There is no Kazu in the...holy shit! Kazu?"

"Hey Gennai!" Kazu casually stuck his flag on the podium.

"How on earth are you the first guy to make it here?" Gennai said.

"Oh, it's easy," Kazu said. "When in Rome, do like the Romans do."

"And how did you do that?" Mrs. Kamiya raised an eyebrow. "Did you dress up like a Shurimon?"

"No," Kazu gave her a strange look. "I just blended in with the jungle. I guess it helps to have a green flag to hide behind. Also, the Shurimon are too busy trying to stop the martial arts guys, they didn't even notice me fly past them!"

"Uh huh," Mrs. Kamiya was impressed.

"Whaddya know?" Gennai groaned. "I guess the best way to win was to be an idiot. So, Mrs. Kamiya. Who do you think will be the next one to cross the finish line?"

"Well...oh my god!" Mrs. Kamiya pointed to the screen. "Look what they did to him!"

"Ohhh," Gennai's voice dropped. "There's no way he's gonna make it through. I probably should have made the kids sign waivers..."

"Ha ha! I made it first and I didn't have to use any of your fancy-schmancy routines!" Marcus paused. "Wait a minute! How did that flag get there? I should have been here first! Did you see how I beat the crap of those wannabe ninjas?"

"Yes, yes," Gennai said. "You just convinced me not to sign up for a karate class! Street fighting is the way to go!"

"Damn straight!" Marcus flexed his arm.

"I just fear for Henry and Ken. I hope they get here safely," Mrs. Kamiya sighed.

"You? The same person who decided to fly the kids in a broken-down helicopter?" Marcus scoffed.

"And the same person who decided to put said copter on auto-pilot just so she can co-host in TDI Sports Commentary?" Gennai smirked.

"In her defense, she was only thinking of our safety," Kazu butted in.

"Aww, you're so sweet!" Mrs. Kamiya patted his head.

"No problem! Besides, the auto-pilot was a better pilot than you could ever be," Kazu said.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Gennai laughed hysterically. "How can auto-pilot fly a plane better than you? Especially when the plane's a defective piece of crap?"

"Finally made it!" Henry said.

"What took you so long?" Gennai scolded.

"Hey, you decided to make a whole bunch of Shurimon attack us!" Henry said. "At least I'm not in Ken's shoes. I told him Kendo doesn't work."

"Nope, sure as hell didn't!" Gennai burst out laughing again. "He's in really bad shape!"

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies_

The members of the Leftovers looked worn out and tired. Kari was rubbing her neck, Kouichi was shivering and completely blue, Jeri was biting her fingernails with a scarred look on her face, TK's knees were black and purple with bruises, and Ken had a tree branch through his chest. The only person who seemed to be intact was Ryo.

_"_Let's gather around the campfire and sing a campfire song! Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. And you think that my voice is off-key, then you're fucking wrong, and kudos to Matt for teaching me this song!" Gennai strummed on a guitar while everyone else groaned in pain.

* * *

_Camera Confessions_:

_"_I used to have hope for the team, but then I took a bullet to the knee. Actually, I took a lot of bullets to the knee," TK said. "Regardless, I was the first person to make it to the next section."

* * *

"How on earth did Ryo make it out in one piece?" Kari rubbed her neck. "I almost became headless!"

* * *

"Brrrrr," Kouichi shivered.

* * *

"It's the only logical decision. We can't have a guy like him on the team. He'll only drag us down," Ryo shook his head.

* * *

"And you're around the campfire because your team did something wrong, so pay attention to me and stop touching your dong, because it's time to vote someone off, so prepare to tell them sayonara, au revoir, and so long...," Gennai kept singing. "And I ran out of words that rhyme with campfire song, so I guess I'll just stop singing-"

"Please do!" Jeri cried. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Fine!" Gennai threw his guitar to the side. "Since some of you guys don't appreciate true talent when you see it, I'm gonna cut to the chase! Akiyama, Ichijoji! You're in the bottom two! One of you guys will get to stay around for the next challenge, one of you guys will board the Loser Cruiser...never to be seen again! So this last marshmallow goes to...Ryo!" Gennai tossed the marshmallow to him. "Ken, get the hell out of here. The last thing I need is for a lawsuit to happen just because you're stupid enough to use Kendo! That's why I voted you off too. Now git!" Gennai shooed Ken away.

* * *

_Last words:_

"Uhhhh," Ken groaned in pain. "I used to be on Total Drama Island, but then I took a tree branch through my torso." He fell face-first into the camera.

*_Static*_


	8. AMAZEing Race

**Recap: **In the last challenge, Gennai sends the kids out to a long relay race. The contestants have to race through the beaches, tundra, mountains, darkness, desert, and the jungle to the finish line, all while avoiding the obstacles in the path. Some contestants breeze through the beach, while some try to brave the harsh breeze in the tundra. Over in the mountains, the contestants run into an old enemy, and Kari's head almost gets snapped off. Yolei and Koji shoot Yo Momma jokes in the darkness, and Jeri runs into Edward Cullen. Out in the desert, Takato gets pistol-whipped and TK takes one (or several) to the knee. In the last portion of the relay race, the jungle, the contestants argue which martial art is better. Not having a particular fighting style, Kazu is the first one to finish the relay race, but Marcus is a close second with his street fighting skills. It's down to Henry's Tai Chi vs. Ken's Kendo. Unfortunately, the Kendo stabs Ken in the back, or chest to be more precise. To add to the pain, his teammates send Ken home on the Loser Cruiser.

* * *

**A-MAZE-ing Race!**

"How did you end up completely fine?" Sora asked Zoe.

"Yeah," Takato said. "Some digimon threw sand in my eyes and then pistol-whipped me."

"Really? You have goggles on your head!" Rika reached over and snapped the band of his goggles.

"Owww!" Takato yelped.

"I don't know why, but I feel like I'm going through deja vu or something," Tommy said.

"Me too," Zoe rubbed her chin. Koji and Kouichi simply nodded their heads.

"You should have seen what happened to Ken," Ryo said. "The guy got a stick through him!"

"Like you should talk," Matt scoffed. "You made it out without a scratch!"

"And you didn't?" Kenta stood akimbo. "You got a ride from Frigimon while the rest of us were stuck in a frozen pond!"

"I met Edward Cullen in person," Jeri trembled. "And he's even scarier in real life!"

"Zoe, _why_ didn't you get attacked by digimon?" Tai asked. "It's just that some digimon gave us a hard time, yet you seemed to get lucky."

"Yeah, that's not fair!" Mimi whined.

"I don't know. Nothing happened to me when I ran across the beach," she shrugged.

"Same here," Davis nodded. "Unless you count getting sand in your pants a serious injury."

"Ditto," Ryo said. "Didn't have any problem getting to the next checkpoint."

"Likewise," Thomas rubbed his chin. "So are you all saying that the rest of you were attacked during the relay race?"

"Yep." "Well duh!" "You think I'm wearing three pullovers in the jungle for fun?" "MY LEG!" the kids shouted various things.

"I'll tell you why Davis, Thomas, Zoe, and Ryo are completely fine," Gennai peeked out from an ancient temple.

"I knew something weird was going on!" Yolei pointed at Gennai accusingly. "It was all too suspicious!"

"You see," Gennai walked to the contestants. "They volunteered to go first. I decided to reward them for their cooperation by letting them run without any obstacles in the way," he smiled.

"You did what?" Izzy spazzed out. "Are you saying you rigged this?"

"Technically yes and technically no..." Gennai put his finger to his chin, as if he was contemplating something serious.

"How is it techincally anything?" Henry threw his hands up. "It's either yes or no! It's impossible for it to be anything else!"

"You see, it is sorta rigged because I got what I wanted," Gennai grinned.

"And what exactly might that be?" TK asked.

"Duh! Your team had to eliminate someone!" Gennai said as if were obvious. "You Leftovers can be so cute, acting like you don't know I hate you guys!"

"Why do you hate us? What did we ever do to you?" Kouichi frowned.

"I didn't plan for you guys to get sent to the Campfire Ceremonies," Gennai ignored Kouichi's question. "It just sorta happened, so I guess that's how the last challenge was techincally rigged. I didn't have to lift a finger to get what I wanted."

"But then how was the relay race technically not rigged?" Marcus angrily eyed Gennai.

"Because I didn't expect that moron to make it to the end first!" Gennai pointed at Kazu.

"Why am I an idiot?" Kazu asked. "I mean, my mom calls me an idiot all the time, but she says it's because I hang out with Kenta and Takato."

"Hey!" Takato and Kenta said in unison.

"I had my money on Marcus to finish the race first. But since I lost the bet, I had to sleep with Mrs. Kamiya," Gennai snapped.

"What?" Kari exclaimed.

"Lalalalalalala! Can't hear youuuu!" Tai stuck his fingers in his ears and yelled loudly to block out Gennai's voice.

"The worst part about this is that I lost a bet! I never lose a bet!" Gennai freaked out.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Sure, I lost a bet, but I totally won in the bedroom," Gennai winked at the camera.

* * *

"Ahem," Gennai cleared his throat loudly. "If you don't mind, can I explain the next challenge?" he screamed over Tai.

"Oh, okay," Tai stopped yelling and took his fingers out of his ears.

"Thank you," Gennai sighed. "Anyways... I had sex with your mom!" he said rapidly, with a huge smirk on his face.

"Ahhh! Must you remind me?" Tai shrieked.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"This reminds me of a time where my dad cheated on my mom with a drag queen. Only he didn't know that he was sleeping with a drag queen at the time. Anyways, I woke up one night to use the bathroom. I was heading to my room, but I heard my parents talking in the living room, so I hid behind the couch to eavesdrop in on their conversation. My mom just found out that my dad was cheating on her, and she was really mad. My mom and dad were arguing about this for quite some time and they finally came to an agreement. Since my dad cheated on my mom, my mom could sleep with one person and my dad wouldn't get mad about it. I guess she used that chance on Gennai," Kari shuddered. "On the bright side, that conversation is the reason I stopped being nosy."

* * *

"Okay, I'm done. I swear," Gennai chuckled. "Besides, if I keep talking about how me and your mom had sex, the executive producer will have to raise the rating to MA, and she really doesn't want to do that. She's not someone you want to mess around with." Gennai looked behind him to see a petite, redheaded woman give him a disapproving look. She cleared her throat and tapped on her watch. "Right...," Gennai shook. "So with further ado, here's our next challenge! You guys will go inside this ancient temple and find your way back out of it."

"This has to be the stupidest challenge ever," Koji snorted. "And we went through a lot of stupid challenges."

"That kind of attitude will get you eliminated, mister!" Gennai scolded him. "INTERNS!" In a matter of seconds, numerous people ran up to the kids with handkerchiefs.

"Gah!" "What are you doing?" "Get your hands off me!" "This thing is cutting off the circulation in my head!" the kids screamed as the interns blindfolded them.

"Here's the catch. You won't know which way you came in," Gennai laughed sinisterly. "Still think this challenge is stupid, Koji?"

"Yes," he said.

"Boo, you whore. Anyhoo, the interns will lead you to a certain part of the temple. From there, you guys can take off your blindfolds and try to get out of that moldy temple," Gennai said. "The first team who gets all of their members out of the temple will win an advantage toward the next challenge. The last team to make it out will have to participate in the infamous Campfire Ceremonies, where they will have to eliminate one of their beloved teammates. Oh, by the way, there might be some booby traps and other crazy stuff thought the maze. Now that that's out of the way, I wish all of you, except the Leftovers, the best of luck. The challenge starts now!" As soon as Gennai said that, the interns spun the kids around and pushed them inside the temple.

* * *

"The only way to solve this is by using strategy," Henry rubbed his chin. "If I retrace my steps, I could probably get out of here... If only I could remember which direction the intern lead me to." Henry walked around the temple and came across Yolei. "What are you doing?" he was puzzled.

"If Indiana Jones could do it, why can't I?" Yolei grunted as she attempted to scale the wall.

"Right," Henry said.

"If I can climb to the top, maybe I can see which way will lead me out," she strained to say. "Pretty smart, huh?"

Henry looked up at the ceiling. "Not really. You can't look over the walls if they're holding up the ceiling," he pointed out.

"Whatever," Yolei scoffed. "You're just mad because you didn't think of this idea first!"

"Okay," Henry shook his head. "Well, good luck with that, I guess. I'm just going to do this the simple way," Henry shrugged and walked off.

"Fine! Suit yourself!" Yolei hollered after him.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Marcus punched the wall. "I was never good at doing those maze puzzles as a kid! There's no way I could get out of a real-life maze!" Marcus punched the wall again. The wall began to crack and Marcus stepped back. "Oh, shit...this doesn't sound good."

* * *

"I don't understand why Gennai hates us so much," Kouichi said.

"Don't think about it," Kari said. "I think he's only doing that to psych us out."

"But why us? What did we ever do to him?" Kouichi grabbed his head.

"If you ask me," Kari lightly grabbed his arms and dragged them down to his sides. "I think you're stressing about this too much. What we need to do is focus on how to get out of here. We were lucky to find each other. Two heads are better than one."

"I guess you're right," Kouichi sighed. "So which way do you think we should go? I think we should go left."

"Why? We should go right," Kari pointed to a corridor.

"No, we should go left!" Kouichi pointed to a different corridor.

"Look, I hate to disagree, so let's settle this maturely," Kari pulled a coin out of her shirt.

"What the?"

"Heads or tails?" she held the coin up to his face.

"I don't care, you pick!" Kouichi turned his face away from the coin. "I don't want to touch your boob coin!"

"Fine. I pick heads!" Kari flicked the coin and put it on the back of her hand. "Well whaddya know? I win! I guess that means we're going to the right!"

"What? No way!" Kouichi gingerly took the coin from Kari's hand and inspected it. "Hey! This coin has the same picture on both sides! That's cheating!"

* * *

"I just don't understand this place at all," Takato squinted at the walls. "I feel like I've walked by that random chocolate bar at least five times."

"Takato?" someone called from far away.

"How did you know it was me?" Takato yelled back. "Who are you anyways? And where are you?"

"Dorkus, it's me!" Kazu ran over to him. "I could recognize your weird, nasally, high-pitched voice anywhere!"

"Uhh, thanks?" Takato scratched the back of his head. "Hey! Wait a minute! Did you just say my voice is weird?"

"Ooh, candy bar!" Kazu pointed to the chocolate bar on the ground. He picked it up, but the candy pulled itself away from him. "Hmmm, that's weird. Candy isn't supposed to move by itself," Kazu rubbed his chin. "I must investigate this randomness!" he struck a Spice Girl pose.

"Kazu? I really don't think that's a good idea," Takato warned.

"Pfft, are you kidding me?" Kazu balled his hands up into fists. "There's free candy here and you're gonna be stupid enough to put it to waste? I guess this challenge totally separates the people who will get ahead in life from those who won't.

"Sure does," Takato nodded.

"Damn straight it does! See you on the flipside...if you even get out of the pyramid," Kazu stuck out his tongue and continued to follow the chocolate bar.

Takato stood there, tapping his foot. "One...two...three...four..."

"Ahhhh!" Kazu shrieked. "It was too good to be true! You're a Milky Way! I thought you were a Snickers bar! You lying candy bar! You led me to a creepy half-dude, half-horse digimon!"

Takato heard the sound of something explode, and of Kazu tumbling to the floor. "I'm going in the other direction," Takato walked away.

* * *

"Oh, it's just you...," Davis groaned.

"What do you mean by that?" Zoe put her hands on her hips.

"Well, I mean I was hoping you were somebody else. No offense, but I don't like you," Davis said.

"None taken," Zoe said. "I get that a lot," she flipped her hair.

"Hey!" Sora ran up to them. "I can't believe I found someone!"

"Hey, Sora. Good thing you did," Zoe smiled at her. "Now that you're here, we can combine our smarts and get out of this temple quickly."

"Yeah!" Sora nodded. "I already went that way, so I know that's not the way out."

"Awesome!" Zoe said. "This totally narrows down some of the possibilities. Teamwork?" Zoe extended her hand.

"Teamwork," Sora gave her a high-five.

"Girls," Davis groaned.

"What?" Zoe scrunched up her face. "Do you have a problem here?"

"Ugh," Davis slumped his shoulders. "Why did I have to run into you?"

"I guess I just have this special ability to attract people. You could call me a people magnet," Zoe smirked.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Okay, I know a lot of people don't like Zoe," Sora said. "But she's not that bad once you get to know her. She's actually pretty cool. She just has a really strong personality, and I think that bothers some people because she's a girl. Just think about it: Davis, Tai, and Marcus also have strong personalities, but no one says much about it... for the most part. Zoe's the same way, but it seems like nobody can get along with her. Especially Mimi and Yolei."

* * *

"Hah, please!" Davis shook his head.

"If you don't mind me, we're," Zoe pointed to herself and Sora, "gonna win this challenge. And I know the way out!"

"Sure," Davis rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms and smirked.

"Just watch me!" Zoe said.

"I will," Davis yawned. "I have plenty of time here."

Zoe took several more steps and heard the sound of a spring. "Where did that noise come fr-AHHH!"

"Zoe!" Sora ran over to Zoe, who was trapped in a net.

"Ha ha! I'm glad I stuck around!" Davis cracked up. "That made me laugh so hard, I'm gonna poop myself!"

"You really need to stop saying that," Sora grimaced.

"Since you guys seemed to find the right path, I guess I'll go the wrong way out," Davis kept on laughing. "See ya!" he ran off to a different hallway.

_A couple of minutes later..._

Davis stepped on a tile, which began to shake. "That's odd," he said and kept walking. He stepped on another shaky tile. "Really? This place needs to be renovated!" He went down the hallway and heard something crack. He shrugged and ignored it until he felt a vibration underneath his feet. He looked down to see the floor crumbling. "Crap! I gotta get out of here!" Davis tried to run, but he ended up creating a hole in the floor. "Whoa!" Davis began to fall and grabbed on to a piece of the floor just in time. "This sucks," he groaned, hanging on to the ledge.

* * *

"Prodigious! If I'm correct, I'm making some serious progress right now," Izzy said, sliding his hand down the wall.

"I'm so lost! I'll never get out here!" Izzy heard someone cry.

"Tommy?" he said to himself. "I have to find him!" he took his hand off the wall and began to find his way toward the crying. He turned into a couple of hallways and groaned. "You have to be kidding me," he looked at the source of the crying and shook his head.

"Yay! You're here! Now I won't be lost by myself!" the pink-haired girl jumped onto Izzy.

He gently pushed her away and crossed his arms. "What do you mean you won't be lost by yourself?"

"Well, it's not like you know how to get out of here," Mimi stood akimbo and frowned. "Otherwise, why else would you be in the same spot as me?"

"For your information, I do know my way out of here. And the reason I came here is because I thought I heard Tommy crying. It just turned out to be you," he grimaced.

"Oh," Mimi said. "Then fine! You go find your way out, because you think you know everything!"

"Alright, I will," Izzy touched the wall and started walking away.

"Wait!" Mimi ran to him. "I don't want to be by myself!"

"Well, I do."

"I'm sorry! Honestly!" Mimi cried. "Now can I stick with you?"

"I guess," Izzy sighed. "But don't you know your way around here? You should."

"I should? Why?" Mimi gave him a weird look.

"This was the temple where you ran off on me and got lost in," Izzy looked at her.

"No wonder this place looked familiar!" Mimi gasped. She clapped her hands and jumped up and down in joy. "Good times, right?"

"Not really," Izzy said. "From what I remember, you pretty much cried and whined the entire time. Kinda like what you just did five minutes ago."

"That's really mean!" Mimi pouted. "But at least I found you!" she hugged him again.

"Uhhh, okay?" Izzy's body became tense. "Can you let go of me? The sooner we get out of here, the better."

"Oh, okay!" Mimi stepped back and grabbed on to his hand. "I'm ready! Now lead us out!"

"This is gonna be one long challenge," Izzy muttered under his breath.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Ryo tilted his head.

"This has to be the tenth time someone's asked me that!" Yolei jumped and tried to reach a protruding rock. "Just watch! I'll get out of here before all of you!"

"Okay," Ryo shrugged and continued on. He ran into Sora, who was fiddling around with a net hanging from the ceiling. "Am I hallucinating, or is everyone acting funny?"

"Hey Ryo!" Sora frantically waved to him. "Can you come here? I really need your help!"

"Okay," Ryo cautiously walked over to her. He wasn't sure if this was a trap or not. "What's up?" he stood yards apart from her.

"Get closer," Sora motioned to him. "Can you help me get Zoe out of here? You have that claw arm thing," she pointed to the metal cast on Ryo's arm.

"Please?" Zoe shook in the net. "I'm getting rope burn here!"

"I would, but I probably shouldn't," he rubbed his neck. "My team hasn't been doing too well, and if I help get Zoe out, that might ruin the Leftovers' chance of at least being third place. I hope you understand," he explained before running past Sora and Zoe.

"I understand completely!" Zoe yelled at him. "Sorry your team is full of losers!"

* * *

"I can't wait until this challenge is over!" Matt kicked a pebble. "This is so stupid!"

"Ughhhnnn," the sound of Kazu groaning came from another hallway.

"Oh great," Matt said. "Kazu and Kenta are probably fucking around," he rubbed his temples. "Why did I sign up for this competition in the first place?" he paced around the hallway and turned into a random corridor. "What the?"

"Uhhhhnnnm," Kazu groaned.

"Where's Kenta?" Matt asked him.

"I don't know. Why?" Kazu said weakly.

"I heard you making noise and I assumed you guys were doing stuff because you're always together," Matt cocked his eyebrow.

"We're not homo, if that's what you're implying," Kazu said, still lying on the ground. "I got the crap beated out of me by a Pegasusmon."

"Pegasusmon?" Matt tilted his head. "Are you sure?"

"I don't know," Kazu sighed. "All that matters is that the evil candy bar tricked me! It tricked me!"

"Okay," Matt winced. "Someone hit his head pretty badly," he stepped over Kazu and walked away.

* * *

"Yay! We're finally out!" Mimi squealed. "I'm so happy I could kiss you!" she wrapped her arms around Izzy.

"Wait until everyone else shows up first!" Gennai snapped. "I don't want everybody to miss the second make-out of the season!"

"Ugh, please! It was just an expression!" Mimi let of of Izzy and stepped back.

"Phew," Izzy sighed in relief.

"At least we made it here first!" Mimi twirled around.

"No you didn't," Gennai shook his head.

"We didn't? Then who did?" Mimi stopped spinning and stood still.

"Me!" Tommy jumped out of a bush.

"But how?" Izzy asked.

"I don't know," Tommy shrugged. "I just kept walking around until I could see the outside."

"That's it?" Izzy said. "So you didn't walk by the wall where the Digicodes are?"

"What are Digicodes?" Tommy gave Izzy a weird look.

"There were symbols on one side of the walls," Izzy explained. "If you follow that wall, it leads you out of the temple."

"That's precisely what I did," Thomas walked over to them.

"Huh," Tommy tilted his head to the side.

"Well, congrats Reliable Knowledge! You guys seem to be in the lead. If this keeps up, you guys will win this challenge," Gennai nodded, impressed.

"Holy crap!" TK ran up to the group. He had cuts all over him.

"Ha ha! You got hurt," Gennai mocked and pointed at him.

"TK! What happened to you?" Mimi asked.

"I was just walking, minding my own business. The only thing I could think about was getting out of there, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. Next thing you know, I snagged on a rope lying on the ground and one of the walls broke apart into sharp rocks...and that's how I ended up like this."

"Please! That isn't as bad as what happened to me!" Davis said.

"What?" Tommy asked.

"The floor broke underneath me, so I held on to a ledge for what seemed like forever!" Davis said dramatically.

"And if I didn't help him out, he would have still been holding on to whatever else was left of the floor," Rika grunted. "Just be lucky that we're on the same team, cause otherwise I would have left you there."

"Awww, you're so sweet!" Davis hugged her.

"Get off me," she said.

"Hey guys!" Jeri happily skipped to everyone else. "Wasn't that a fun challenge?"

"No," Izzy gave her a weird look.

"Hell no," TK shook his head.

"It sucked," Davis said.

"Well, me and Rufus had fun. Isn't that right, Rufus?" Jeri talked to her puppet.

"Arf, arf! That's right!" the puppet said.

"Me and Rufus had a great time exploring the temple. Sure, we got lost a couple of times, but we found our way out with our geniuosity!" Jeri smiled.

"Don't you mean you guys used your intelligence?" Thomas looked at Jeri curiously.

"No! She said what she meant and she meant what she said, Jeri is amazing 100 percent!" the puppet screamed.

"Rufus! Don't raise your voice like that," Jeri scolded the puppet.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"Jeri scares me a little...no, I take that back. She scares me a lot! I mean, who talks to themselves? And pretends that puppets can speak back to them?" Tommy heaved. "Sure, I had this phase where I had an imaginary friend named Bubble Buddy, but I was four. And I didn't have any friends. But she has no excuse! None at all!"

* * *

"What's going on here?" Tai ran over to Gennai.

"Nothing, just the usual," Gennai shrugged nonchalantly. "Just waiting for everyone else and...banging your mom on the side, hee hee!"

"Stop that already!" Tai stomped his foot.

"GENNAI!" the short, redheaded woman stomped over to him.

"Ahhh! Please don't hurt me!" he shrieked.

"What did I tell you about that?" the woman rolled up her newspaper and hit Gennai with it several times.

"I'm sorry, Executive Producer Lily! I just slipped up, that's all!" Gennai weeped in between beatings.

"Then you better watch it!" she warned him. "If we have to raise the show's rating, you're gonna get it. Understood?"

"Yes," Gennai whimpered.

"I really don't think you do," the executive producer put her hands on her hips. "There isn't enough money in the budget to hire a babysitter to watch you! We spend enough money on the show as is!"

"I'm sorry!" Gennai yelled. "Just please stop hitting me with that newspaper! It hurts even more when it's the Sunday edition! And you at least have the decency to hit me with a good newspaper, like the New York Post? The Boston Globe sucks!"

"You're gonna be sorry!" the executive producer whacked Gennai a couple more times with the rolled-up newspaper. "The last thing I want to do is keep a close eye on you! What did I tell you about being romantically involved with coworkers?"

"That when I do it, it's considered sexual harassment?" Gennai uptalked.

"Exactly! If you step out of line," she wagged the newspaper at his face, "there WILL be consequences!" She hit him one more time and walked back to the camera crew.

"What's going on here?" Kenta said.

"Whoa! When did you get here?" Gennai jumped. "Hey, it seems like everyone's here."

"Nope," Joe pushed up his glasses. "Marcus and Henry are still inside."

"Shut up! Who asked you?" Gennai picked up a rock and hurled it at Joe's head. "Know-it-all!"

"Why me?" Joe whined.

"It's okay," Kouichi said. "You're not alone."

"I guess we're down to two teams," Mrs. Kamiya said. "Who do you think will get out first? Marcus or Henry?"

"Nuh uh," Gennai shook his head. "I'm not betting this time," he looked back at the scowling executive producer. "Uh, anyways...I guess we'll have to wait to see who will come out first."

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

"Hey hey! Time to throw a party because the champion ultimate fighter, which is me, is out of that place!" Marcus pumped his fist in the air.

"Oh yeah? Well if you were a champion, then why weren't you the first person out of the maze?" Gennai snapped.

"Don't pay any mind to him," Sora said. "He's just cranky because the executive producer kept bashing him with a newspaper."

"I AM NOT CRANKY!" Gennai stomped his foot. "You're cranky!"

"See?" Sora shook her head.

"Oh my god! What happened to your hands?" Zoe pointed at Marcus's bloody hands.

"It's nothing much, dollface. I just had to overcome a couple of obstacles on the way out, but in the end, I came out a winner!" Marcus grinned. "I pretty much punched my way out of the temple. It was pretty easy to do, especially when the walls crumbled like cheesecake crust," he blew on his fist.

_*Boom* _The kids watched as the temple began to break down.

"Whoa..." TK said, not taking his eyes off the destroyed temple.

"You did what?" Gennai screamed. "That building was an ancient artifact! You defaced a piece of history! I'm telling on you! LILY!"

"WHAT?" the executive producers stomped over to Gennai and the kids.

"Look what Marcus did!" he pointed at the temple. "He broke it!"

"So...," the executive producer said. "And your point is? That building was old anyways, it was bound to break down eventually."

"What? What?" Gennai grabbed his head. "That's all you're gonna say?"

"Yes," she crossed her arms. "And you need to focus on the SHOW! If you were paying attention, you would know that Reliable Knowledge lost the challenge!"

"Oh..." Gennai said sheepishly. "Then who won?"

"The Leftovers," the executive producer said.

"Yay! We win!" Jeri shrieked.

"Now all we have to do is wait for Henry," Thomas said.

* * *

_Six hours later..._

"It's getting pretty dark," Kari said.

"What's taking him so long?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know," Gennai sighed. "But he better get here quickly. I'm getting tired of waiting around." Everyone else was sitting in a circle, playing Go Fish.

"Do you have any...threes?" Kenta asked.

"Seriously?" Davis threw his last card at him. "I quit!"

"You can't quit if you already lost," Yolei smirked.

"Look, we need to wrap things up. I'm only giving Henry five more minutes to get out of here. I didn't expect this challenge to last this long, so we're behind schedule," the executive producer checked her phone.

"But we can't leave Henry behind!" Joe said. "That's just wrong!"

"Since where is there anything fair about this show?" TK huffed.

"Good point," Joe slumped his shoulders.

"Three...two...one," the executive producer counted down. "Okay Gennai, get to the Campfire Ceremonies!" she flicked her lighter and lit a bundle of sticks on fire.

"Alright," Gennai sighed and pulled a baggie of marshmallows out of his robe. "Reliable Knowledge, sucks that one of you guys have to leave the competition. Sucks even more that you guys can't vote who gets to leave. I only have five marshmallows in this bag, and there are six of you. So, here your go...Thomas, Koji, Joe, Izzy, Tommy. You guys made it to the next round," he threw the marshmallows at them and sighed. "HENRY! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, YOU'RE NO LONGER IN THE COMPETITION!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I guess the rest of us have to get a move on. Let's go," he motioned the kids along.

* * *

_Last words_

"When someone cheats, everyone else gets screwed. Especially me," Henry adjusted the bandage on his head. "I could have made it out if Marcus didn't punch the hell out of the walls! One of the walls crumbled and crushed me. I couldn't move at all! If it weren't for Jason, I would have still been stuck under all that rubble!"

"No problem," a cameraman said. "Glad to help you out, buddy."


	9. Babes In Toyland

**Recap: **Gennai scatters the kids in a life-sized maze, where the teams must race to get everyone in their group out. Yolei tries to pull out an Indiana Jones, Kazu gets tricked with a candy bar, Kari and Kouichi bicker about directions like an old couple, Izzy comes up with a simple strategy, while Henry tries to think his way out of the maze. Luckily, Tommy's the first one to get out by doing nothing but mindlessly wander his way out the temple. Marcus finds the "easy" way out of the maze, but it only makes it very difficult for Henry to get out. Gennai gets tired of waiting for Henry to get out of the maze, so Henry gets eliminated by default.

* * *

**Babes In Toyland**

"Wow! This place is so colorful!" Jeri looked all around her.

"Tell me about it," Koji groaned. "It's making me sick to my stomach."

"I don't think it's the colors that are making you sick," Ryo said. "I'm not feeling too well myself. This is a bumpy ride."

"At least you brats get to sit in the wagon! I have to push the damn thing," José grunted.

"Hey," Lily reached over from the front seat and smacked José with a rolled-up newspaper. "I'm not paying you to socialize with the contestants! Now shut your mouth and keep pushing the wagon." José muttered something unintelligible and Lily smacked him again. "And no speaking Spanish! I hope that you know I'm aware of what '_vete a la mierda, puta fea_' means."

"Ha hah! Lily yelled at you!" Gennai laughed at him.

"You know what?!" Jose dropped the carriage. "I quit! _Te veré en el infierno_!" he stomped away.

"Whatever," Lily jumped out of the wagon. "We're already here, so no biggie. I'm going to eat some doughnuts with the camera crew."

"What?! Then what the hell am I supposed to do?" Gennai panicked.

"What you've been doing for the past couple of episodes," Lily said. "Just pretend like I won't even be here. Heck, I won't be here...but you can always pretend anyways." With newspaper in the crook of her arm, Lily walked away. "Good luck kiddies!" she called out.

"Thanks?" Takato yelled back.

"Awww, Takato! Always being so polite," Kazu ruffled his hair.

"Isn't it so cute?" Kenta cooed as he pinched Takato's cheek.

"Stop touching me!" Takato squirmed.

"If you don't get your hands off him, I'll put my hands on the both of you," Rika cracked her knuckles.

"Oooh, someone likes to get down," Matt smirked.

"Do you wanna get some of this too?" she shoved her fist in front of his face.

"Kari, you're no longer the biggest slut on the show," Tommy smiled.

"Wha-wha-what? Who said I was a slut?" Kari was stunned.

"Not this again," Sora sighed.

"Do you even know what a slut is?" TK asked Tommy.

"Yeah! A slut is someone who's very popular," Tommy nodded his head.

"I guess that's one way of putting it," Thomas shook his head, trying to hold his laughter.

"You see, all the boys are around her, so that makes her popular," Tommy explained.

"Doesn't help when everyone's getting a little piece of Rika," Marcus jerked his thumb. Matt, Davis, Kazu, Takato, and Kenta were lying on the floor, groaning in pain.

"Anyone else want a knuckle sandwich?" she slammed her fists together.

"No...that's okay," Kouichi shook. "I'm not hungry."

"Besides, there's no time for that," Gennai clapped his hands as if he were trying to get a dog's attention. "You see why we're in this very cheerful looking place?"

"No," Jeri's puppet spoke.

"Wow, you're a very good ventriloquist!" Gennai exclaimed.

"Thanks, but I'm not the one saying anything. It's all Rufus," Jeri gave a sideways glance at her puppet.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I don't know Jeri very well, but I could tell there was something off about her," Zoe tapped her finger to her chin. "I mean, she acts like that puppet can speak on its own! I guess that's what ventriloquism is, but she's taking it too far!"

* * *

"So why are we standing in an outdoor FAO Schwarz?" Tai scratched his head.

"Because you guys are going to invent and sell toys!" Gennai flourished his arms.

"What?" Izzy grit his teeth. "For your information, we are NOT underpaid factory kids working in China."

"Yeah, I know," Gennai said. "For starters, you guys are on File Island. Toy Town, to be more specific. Also, you guys aren't underpaid because you're not getting paid at all, so you better shut up if you want to win this challenge," he smiled.

"But...how...you," Izzy struggled to protest back. "Oh, fuck it!" he walked back over the wagon and leaned up against it.

"Ha hah! Smart guy gets outsmarted!" Gennai laughed.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I think Gennai might hate Izzy more than he hates me," Joe said. "I mean, Izzy's cool and all, and I'm not just saying that because he's diverting Gennai's attention away from me-"

"Nonsense," Gennai snuck up behind him and gave him a bear hug. "I would never forget about you! You're my little toy!"

"Help me," Joe mouthed to the cameraman.

"You see, I like Joe! We have so much fun playing games like 'Dodgedagger', 'Gennai Says', and 'Duck, Duck, Joe!'"

"How do you play 'Duck, Duck, Joe'?" the cameraman asked.

"Oh, easy!" Gennai flashed him a smile. "You see, you throw an object at Joe, and he has to duck. If the object hits him, then I win and he loses. But if he dodges the object, then he wins and I lose...and I hate losing."

"Can you give us a demonstration?" the cameraman asked.

"Nononofortheloveofgodno!" Joe cried.

"Sure!" Gennai pulled out a ceramic piggy bank out of his robe. "Duck, duck Joe!" he threw the piggy bank at Joe. "Ha hah! I win again!" he clapped his hands excitedly.

The camera panned over to Joe. He pulled out a piece of broken piggy bank out of his cheek. "You're an ass," he pointed at the cameraman.

"Yeah? That's what happens when you don't have a union job," the cameraman shrugged.

* * *

"How are we going to invent toys though?" Takato got up from the ground and rubbed his arm.

"If you created a digimon, you should know how to make a freaking toy!" Gennai shook his head. "Just think of this challenge as a learning experience! It will test you in creativity, time management, entrepreneurship, and advertisement skills!"

"Why is he trying to make this educational?" Mimi grimaced.

"The execs are hoping that if this show seems educational, we might win a Gemini Award for Classiest Reality TV Show. Maybe even an Emmy," Thomas said.

"No one asked you, you know-it-all!" Rika made a face. Thomas gasped in shock.

"In that factory are many supplies that you can use to make the toys. You will have five hours to create 20 units of them, and then sell them. The team that sells the least amount of toys will have to take part in tonight's Campfire Ceremonies, where they get to vote off the person they hate the most! The team that sells the most in the allocated time wins an advantage in the next challenge."

"Isn't that what you said the last time?" Jeri said.

"Speaking of which, what do we get for winning the last challenge?" Ryo asked.

"Ugh," Gennai rubbed his forehead. "I was hoping you guys would have forgotten. Well," he dug into the pockets of his robe. "You guys can have some stale Oreos. There's your reward."

"Oh no you don't," TK pulled out his cell phone. "I have Lily on speed dial. All I have to do is push one button and she'll hear everything," he threatened.

"TK," Kari tugged on his sleeve. "Technically, wouldn't you have to press two buttons? One to press the 4 button and one to press the Call button?"

"Not helping," TK scowled.

"Please don't call her! I'll give you a real advantage, just please don't talk to her!" Gennai pleaded. "You guys can have an extra hour to plan things out," he pointed to the factory.

"Sweet!" Ryo said as the Leftovers ran inside the factory.

"Are you saying that we're going to have to wait out here while those guys get to get a head start?" Koji grimaced.

"Precisely," Gennai pointed to his watch. "When this beeps, everyone else can go inside."

"That's not fair!" Yolei stomped her foot. "Why do they get extra time?"

"Because they won the last challenge," Zoe spoke slowly to her as if she were talking to a child.

"Don't patronize me, you little Blondie!" Yolei growled.

"This is gonna be one long wait," Tai shook his head.

* * *

_The Leftovers..._

"So we have to come up with a toy with all of these things," Kouichi pensively looked at the random objects piled up against the back wall. There were pipe cleaners, tape, deflated rubber tires, felt fabric, random pieces of metal, legos, and other unrelated, random objects.

"We don't have to use all of them," Kari pointed out.

"Why are you acting like such a smartass today?" Ryo put his head on the large drawing table.

"Yeah! What is up with that?" TK crossed his arms.

"I dunno," Kari shrugged. "Just seemed like fun."

"You know what else is fun?" Jeri's puppet said.

"What?" Kari said.

"Kicking you off the show for being such a bitch!"

"Jeri!" Ryo gasped.

"What? I didn't say that," Jeri pointed to the puppet on her hand. "Rufus did!"

"That's right I did," Rufus crossed his arms.

"Hmmm," Kari raised an eyebrow at Jeri. "I'll let it slide this time..."

"Can we please stop with the chit-chat?" TK said. "We might have some extra time, but that doesn't give us an excuse to waste it!"

"He's right," Kouichi nodded. "Now, I'm just wondering why there are a whole bunch of empty milk cartons in that corner."

"Hmmm," Ryo rubbed his chin. "Now why would someone make a toy with milk cartons?"

"Because they had a sad, sad childhood?" Jeri said.

"Like you have room to talk," Kari said. "Doesn't your dad hate you?"

"You're so mean!" Jeri started to cry.

"Way to go, Kari!" Kouichi shook his head. "You made her cry."

"Hey, look!" TK stomped across the room. "I have big feet," he pointed to the milk cartons he had on his feet.

"You sure do," Kari winked.

"Uh...gross," Ryo scrunched up face in disgust.

"Come on!" Kouichi said. "Let's take this seriously! The other teams are going to come in soon and all we've done is insult each other, make people cry, and waste materials!"

*_BOOM!*_ Gennai slammed the doors open and everyone else noisily came inside.

"You've got to be kidding me," Kouichi gave himself a facepalm.

* * *

_Reliable Knowledge..._

"This has to be the most outlandish challenge yet," Izzy shook his head.

"Hey, didn't we do something like this already?" Joe looked at all of the materials.

"Yeah," Thomas said. "It makes me wonder if this competition is a secret ploy to get us to make new products with the cheapest stuff possible so Gennai can resell them for higher prices."

"Why wonder?" Koji scoffed. "It's pretty obvious that this is what's going on."

"Then why are you still in the competition?" Tommy asked.

"So sue me. I wanna be Lobomon again," Koji said.

"Okay, let's get going here," Izzy carried a whole bunch of metal items in his arms. "We've got cars to build."

"What?!" Joe spazzed out. "How on earth are we going to make cars? I barely know how to hang one of those tree-shaped air fresheners on the rearview mirror!" he began to hyperventilate.

"Calm down," Thomas said. "Izzy and I are going to do the engineering part, while you guys help piece the cars together."

"Great...we've been reduced to an assembly line," Koji rolled his eyes.

* * *

_Sincere Love..._

"Ugh! This pile of crap is making my head hurt!" Zoe squeezed her head.

"I can't think of anything," Sora bit her lip.

"Well, you don't have to do any thinking!" Kazu grinned.

"Yup," Kenta nodded.

"What ideas did you come up with?" Zoe asked them.

"Dolls!" Kenta exclaimed.

"Huh," Sora gave them a weird look. "Somehow it doesn't surprise me that you guys would come up with that."

"Oooh! Can I help design the dolls?" Mimi gushed.

"Most definitely!" Kazu gave her a thumbs-up.

"With your style expertise, these dolls will sell out faster than- holy shit, I accidently sown some fabric to my hand!" Kenta yelled.

"Huh? That doesn't make any sense," Mimi tilted her head.

"No, look!" Kenta held his hand up. A piece of felt was stuck onto his bloody hand. "It huuuuurts!"

"Oy vey," Zoe shook her head. "This is not helping my headache. Not one bit."

* * *

_Courageous Friendship..._

"Okay, so the goal is to come up with a toy that requires no effort," Davis nodded.

"I really don't think that's how it works," Rika said.

"But we've pretty much BS-ed our way through the competition so far," Marcus said. "And I think that's a pretty good system."

"Yep," Matt flicked his hair.

"We need to think of something," Takato squinted his eyes. "What kind of toys do you remember playing with as a kid?"

"Beyblade," Tai said. "But I don't think we could make that..."

"I used to play with GI Joes," Matt said. "Until I met Joe. I could never see GI Joe in the same light ever again."

"I was too cool for toys," Marcus said. "I was too busy chewing bubblegum and kicking ass!"

"Really?" Tai gave Marcus a skeptical look.

"I did play Rock'em Sock'em Robots, but that was one bitchin' toy!" Marcus said.

"I played with Barbies," Davis sighed.

"Figures," Rika muttered.

"Hey, they were hand-me-downs from my sister! My parents figured by giving me her dolls, I wouldn't need any toys!" Davis stomped his foot.

"Okay, okay," Matt said. "Calm down!"

"What kind of toys did you guys play with?" Tai asked Rika and Takato.

"Do Pokemon cards count?" Takato scratched his head.

"YOU TRAITOR! How could you play with Pokemon cards?" Davis said Pokemon with all the scorn he could muster.

"That was before I knew about the Digimon card game!" Takato backed up against a wall. "I gave all of my old cards to Kazu...who thinks they're rare Digimon cards."

"He's such an idiot," Rika shook her head.

"Well, princess. You still haven't told us what you played with," Marcus crossed her arms.

"I also played with Digimon cards. That was pretty much it," she replied.

"Great," Matt shook his head. "So far, the only toys we remembered playing with were action figures, boxing legos, girl dolls _*cough cough*_Davis _*cough cough*_, overpriced spinning tops, and game cards...now what? I don't think we can make any of those with what we have...what?"

"I hope this isn't all we have," Rika looked at the remaining supplies.

"So we have to make something out of just cardboard boxes and paint?" Takato's voice squeaked.

"We could have gotten some more stuff if you guys didn't blab all day," Rika put her hands on her hips.

"Hey princess!" Davis said. "If I recall, you were part of the conversation too, so you're also to blame!"

"Don't you dare call me princess," Rika shook your fist. "Unless you're wanting a second helping of my knuckle sandwich."

"Whoa, oh oh!" Marcus said. "If my watch is correct, it's fighting time over here."

"Gahhhh!" Rika tackled Davis and snapped the headband of his goggles.

"OWWWW!" he screamed.

"I know exactly how you feel," Takato winced as he watched Rika repeatedly snapping Davis's headband.

"Hey guys! Can you knock it off?!" Tai raised his voice. "I got a brilliant idea!" he held up a big piece of cardboard. "Let's get painting!"

"Painting what?" Matt asked.

"The cardboard boxes!" Tai said. "Have you ever seen those cardboard bricks that the preschoolers play with?"

"Yeah," Davis said. "What about that?"

"If we cut the cardboard into smaller pieces and paint a brick pattern on them, we could pass them off as building blocks! And the best part is we wouldn't have to do too much work! Eh?" Tai smiled.

"We are such con artists," Matt shook his head and then smiled. "Yay for con artists!"

"CON ARTISTS!" the other boys cheered.

"Oh brother," Rika rubbed her temples.

"I hope you're all working quickly!" Gennai stood by the entrance. "Time is ticking! You have three hours remaining for this challenge!"

"Oh brother," Rika repeated.

* * *

_Selling Time..._

"Come get your boats! Boats that float!" Jeri yelled. "Isn't it genius? Boat, float? They rhyme?"

"I hope they float," TK said. "If they don't, I think we'd all be in trouble."

"Come get your boats here! Just add a little water and it'll be sailing in no time!" Jeri pointed to an inflatable pool. Several digimon gathered by the booth as Kouichi filled the pool up with water.

"Oooh! Can I have one, daddy?" a small Betamon asked.

"Sure thing," a bigger Betamon smiled. "How much are the boats?"

"Ten digi-dollars," Kari smiled.

"I'll take one," the bigger Betamon handed her some money and Ryo gave him a boat.

"These boats were a great idea, TK," Ryo said.

"Thanks," TK smiled.

"How did you even come up with boats in the first place?" Kari asked.

"I was going to make another pair of sneakers, but I ended up cutting one whole side up by accident and I was like 'Hey, that looks like a boat!' and that was that."

"Who needs boats when you can something more advanced?" Joe yelled.

"More advanced?" a couple of Gotsumon asked.

"Yeah!" Joe pointed to Tommy, who was playing with a couple of matchbox racecars.

"Hmmm," one Gotsumon said.

"Vrooom, vrooom!" Tommy said as he crashed one car against another.

"They're Japanese-engineered?" Koji made a face.

"And that means that they're very well-built," Izzy nodded.

"I don't know," another Gotsumon said. "I'm not entirely convinced."

"Cuh-RASH!" Tommy pushed one car towards the booth.

"See? No damage to the car at all," Thomas picked the car up to show to the Gotsumon. "Not one scratch."

"GIMMIE MY TOY BACK!" Tommy jumped up off the floor.

"No. We're supposed to be selling them," Thomas said.

"You're a big meanie! Now give me my toy BACK!" Tommy punched Thomas's gut.

"Heh heh," Joe laughed nervously. "They're so fun, you just can't get enough of the cars?"

"Nice try," the Gotsumon said. "We're not buying," they walked away.

"YOU'RE GONNA REGRET TAKING MY CARS AWAY!" Tommy yelled and punched Thomas in the crotch.

"Oh my god!" Thomas let go of the car and dropped to the floor.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I'm sorry, but that made my day," Izzy tried not to crack up. "I'm sorry, I can't hold it in anymore," Izzy burst out laughing.

* * *

"Yes! VICTORY IS MINEEEE!" Tommy picked up the car and continued to play with it.

"What better way to play fashionably than to play with designer dolls?" Yolei screamed.

"Designer dolls made with love!" Mimi said.

"We put our blood and sweat into them!" Kenta flailed his arms around.

"Not literally," Kazu pushed Kenta's bloody hands down.

"With the cutest outfits we have to offer!" Zoe hollered.

"Hey girlie," an Impmon tugged on Zoe's vest.

"Yeah?" Zoe turned to look at him.

"Are any of the dolls wearing an outfit that looks like yours?"

"No," Zoe said.

"Good. I'll take two," the Impmon handed her money.

"Here you go," Kazu said. "Have a nice day!"

"How about you buy something that expands your creativity?" Tai hopped on top of his team's booth.

"With these building blocks, you can spend hours and hours making cool towers like this!" Takato said as he piled up some cardboard blocks on top of each other.

"And you can have all the fun of making the bricks yourselves too!" Matt said.

"All you have to do is..." Davis took a flat piece of cardboard. "Fold it, stuff the little tabs inside the slits, and you have your own brick!"

"And they're also very durable!" Marcus said. "Gimmie a brick!" Takato handed him a brick and Marcus placed it on the booth. "Huh-YA!" Marcus karate-chopped the block and it flung off the table.

Tai ran up to get the block and laughed nervously. "Heh heh, no dents whatsover?" he held up the squished up block.

"In my defense, I am a pretty strong guy. I've beaten up giant digimon before," Marcus grinned.

"You have?" some Kapurimon asked.

"Yep!" Marcus flexed his arm.

"Cool!" the Kapurimon gasped. "I guess these bricks are pretty cool if you're selling them, Mister Strong Human!"

"I want it!" "Me too!" the Kapurimon jumped around excitedly.

"And if you get two or more sets, you can make even bigger buildings," Matt flashed them a smile.

"Ooooh! Let's get five sets! Please?" they asked an Andromon.

"Fine," the Andromon handed Rika some money and grabbed five sets of flat, colorful cardboard. "Thanks a lot...thanks a lot," he muttered to the boys.

"No problemo!" Davis waved. "Come again soon!"

"Hey, why does Rika have your sweater tied around her mouth?" Takato asked Davis.

"Because if she spoke, we would probably lose this challenge," Matt said.

"Good idea," Marcus nodded.

"Mmmpf mmmph mmm-mmm hmm mm mmpf!" Rika struggled to speak under her gag.

* * *

"TIME'S UP! Close up shop!" Gennai yelled as he came to inspect each team's booth. "Hmmm, Leftovers," he frowned.

"Hi Gennai," Jeri said.

"How's your inventory?" Gennai asked.

"We pretty much sold everything except for two boats," TK said.

"Nice, nice...," Gennai walked past them toward Sincere Love's booth.

"We have five dolls left," Sora said.

"Which I totally don't understand!" Mimi held up one of the felt dolls. "They're so cute, aren't they?"

"They are," Gennai picked one up. "Can I have one?"

"Sure," Kenta said. "That'll be fifteen bucks."

"Shhh!" Kazu clamped his mouth over Kenta's mouth. "You can't charge Gennai! He's the host!"

"It's all yours," Zoe said.

"Sweet bitches!" Gennai hugged the doll and walked over to Courageous Friendship.

"Guess what Gennai?" Tai grinned.

"We sold all of our things!" Davis threw his hands up in the air.

"Mmm mmmph mmmph!" Rika said.

"I'm proud of you guys!" Gennai said. "But why is Rika wearing a gag?"

"It was part of our business plan," Matt laughed nervously and untied Davis's sweater off Rika's face.

"Nice," Gennai said. "Well, you guys definitely win the challenge!"

"Whoo hoo! We win!" Tai climbed up the booth and jumped off it.

"All thanks to bullshitting," Rika said under her breath. "My mouth tastes like dirty socks."

"Awww, how lovely," Gennai gushed, squeezing his doll. "I guess I'll see how the geek squad is going," he jerked his thumb at Reliable Knowledge.

"Crap," Koji said. "That's it! We lost!"

"You can't say that!" Joe said.

"What the hell?!" Gennai gasped.

"Funny story," Izzy bit his lip.

"Actually, it's not a funny story..." Thomas said.

"You guys didn't sell a single toy?!" Gennai screamed.

"Precisely," Thomas sighed.

"And why not?" Gennai gave the boys a stern look. "Have you guys been goofing around?"

"No, that's not it at all! We tried to sell the toys! Honestly!" Joe stammered.

"Then why do you still have all the toys?" Gennai grit his teeth.

"Uh, we've had a situation," Koji cocked his head toward Tommy.

"Vrooom, vroom! I AM...Speed Demon!" Tommy yelled as he moved the cars around.

Gennai went to pick up a car when Izzy stopped him. "Careful...don't let Tommy catch you taking a car."

"Yeah," Thomas said. "That's a really dangerous thing to do, trust me."

"Got it," Gennai discreetly picked up a car and looked at it. "That sucks. This car looks like a real one. Only a thousand times smaller. It's a shame you guys didn't sell a single one," he dropped the car down to the ground. "Do you know how badly you disappointed me?"

"No...but I'm assuming we really, _really_ disappointed you," Joe said.

"You sure did," Gennai said. "I was counting on the Leftovers to lose...I hate those guys. But nope, you guys had to screw it up and lose! I'll see you at the Campfire Ceremonies tonight."

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"A team that had so much potential," Gennai shook his head. "I hope you guys are proud of yourselves."

"We sure are," Koji said sarcastically.

"Smart ass," Gennai grumbled. "I think you're the team that has less members than anyone else, and it's only going to get worse from here."

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I had to choose Koji," Joe said. "He barely helped build the cars, and he didn't even try to sell anything! Also, he has a really negative attitude and that just bums me out."

* * *

"I don't like Thomas!" Tommy said. "He tried to take my toys away!"

* * *

"Tommy just can't handle the competiton. He's just a little kid," Izzy said. "We wanted him to sell the toys, so that more people would buy them but that plan totally backfired. How are we supposed to sell toys when Tommy wouldn't let anyone touch them? I will admit, that was pretty funny when he kicked Thomas right in the nads," Izzy bit his lip. Seconds later, he was laughing hysterically.

"So after calculating all of these votes, Koji and Tommy are in the bottom two," Gennai said. "The last marshmallow in this bag," he shook a plastic bag, "belongs to Koji. Tommy, you're out because you're such a little kid. Now get out of here!"

"Wahhhh! So I lost?" Tommy's eyes began to flood with tears.

"Well duh! I mean Koji's attitude screwed things up, but you screwed things up even more. Maybe next time, you'll learn to share your toys," Gennai crossed his arms.

"YOU'RE MEAN!" Tommy yelled and ran off.

"HEY! AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO SHARE!" Gennai yelled back.

"Share STDs," Koji muttered.

"I heard that!" Gennai wagged his finger at Koji.

* * *

_Last words:_

"I hate Thomas because he's a tattletale meanie who doesn't let me have fun!" Tommy said. "By the way, I took all of the cars with me, so in your face Thomas!"

"Are those seriously your last words?" the cameraman said.

"No," Tommy crossed his arms. "My last word is slut. If I learned one thing being on this show, it's some new words. I'll see you soon Mom! You'll always be a slut to me!"


	10. Sandwiches and Sand Castles

**Recap: **In the last episode, the contestants are dragged over to Toy Town, where they have to invent cool toys with scrap materials. The Leftovers use leftover milk cartons to come up with a floatable toy, Sincere Love uses their flair to come up with a fashionable toy, and Courageous Friendship uses their scamming skills to sell a "toy" which flies off the shelves. Although Reliable Knowledge has the engineering skills, Tommy ends up playing with all the toys, not letting anyone buy them. His immaturity and selfishness sends him out to the Loser Cruiser. "Sharing is caring!"

* * *

**Sandwiches and Sandcastles**

"Hey, where'd you get that?" Marcus pointed to the small keychain toy in Ryo's hand.

"I found it back in Toy Town," Ryo said. "It was just lying on the ground, so I picked it up."

"What is it? Can I see?" Davis looked over Ryo's shoulder.

"It's a Tamagotchi. At least that's what it says above the screen," Ryo shrugged. "Here," he handed the toy to Davis.

"Cool!" Davis said. "How do you work this thing?" he asked as he pressed random buttons. "Aw man! I think it pooped. You can have it back!"

"All you have to do is press this button," Ryo rolled his eyes.

"Ha hah! Ryo's cleaning up poop!" Kazu laughed, which only caused Kenta to laugh along with him.

"Really mature, you guys," Sora shook her head.

"Hmmm, we're back on the beach again," Kouichi scooped up some sand and let it fall through his fingers.

"I never thought I would say this, but I'm so happy we're back here," Koji said.

"Really?" Jeri looked at him in disbelief.

"Because you sure aren't showing it!" her puppet spoke.

"Shut up!" Jeri clamped her hand over her puppet's mouth. The puppet began to move around erratically. "Ow! Rufus bit me!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I don't care how adorable Jeri is," Koji crossed his arms. "If she wants to say something, then she should just say it and stop blaming it on the puppet. If it's really the puppet being an asshole, then that's a different story. A story that ends with a chainsaw."

* * *

"Alas, we're at the beach but at we're not at the beach," Gennai flashed the contestants a smile.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Yolei said.

"You really need to stop being cryptic," Thomas said.

"Are we on a movie set?" Mimi gasped. "I've always wanted to be an actress!"

"Only you would say that," Matt shook his head.

"No no no!" Gennai yelled. "We're at a beach, but it isn't the same beach we've been at. This is a different beach!"

"Does it matter if we're on a different beach?" Tai said. "All beaches look the same to me."

"Why, it does matter! This beach has nice sand!" Gennai scooped up some sand and threw it in the air.

"What does this have to do with anything, besides proving that we're standing in the middle of a beach?" Izzy grumbled.

"You guys are going to make sandwiches!" Gennai said excitedly.

"Sandwiches?" Rika squinted her eyes. "Is this like some kind of corny joke?"

"Actually, it's a more like a misunderstanding," Gennai pressed his headset closer to his ear. "Turns out the producers want you to make sand sculptures, and the team that does the best will win sandwiches."

"One question," Takato raised his hand.

"What up, Carol Ann?" Gennai said a he looked through his smartphone.

"Carol Ann?" Takato made a confused face.

"Oh, sorry. You just sounded like this lady I knew. Only she wasn't a lady...," Gennai clicked his phone off.

"Here he goes being vague again," Joe sighed.

"Actually, I know what's he's talking about," Kari nodded.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Yep, my dad was seeing a lady. Only this lady was just a man in women's clothing," Kari said.

"Really?" Tai crossed his arms. "With all of the times you've said that to people, you might as well get a shirt that reads 'My Dad Didn't Know He Slept With A Tranny'!"

"That's not a bad idea..." Kari rubbed her chin. "But I think that's the name Matt's going to use for his new screamo band."

* * *

"So what's your question?" Gennai put his phone into his robe.

"Who's gonna make the sandwiches?" Takato meekly rubbed his arm.

"Mrs. Kamiya, of course!" Gennai smiled.

"AAAHHH!" "Are you kidding me?!" "I think I'll just walk out of the show...," everyone screamed.

"No! I was just joking!" Gennai laughed nervously. "Just give me a minute! Okay?" Gennai pulled out a walkie-talkie and began to whisper into it. "Gennai to Red Sock. Gennai to Red Sock. We've got a little situation here. If Mrs. Kamiya makes the sandwiches, all of the contestants will quit the show, and that would suck! Okay. Do it immediately. Good. Our asses are saved!" Gennai clipped his walkie-talkie back on his belt.

"What was that about?" Mimi pointed to Gennai's walkie-talkie.

"Nothing. So where was I?"

"You were going to tell us who's making the sandwiches," Marcus crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"That's right, heh heh!" Gennai petted the back of his head. "They're gonna be from Subway."

"Ooh! We'll finally get some real food!" Joe said.

"Hold up! Who said you guys were going to win?" Marcus gave him a sideways glance.

"Please don't look at me like that," Joe trembled. "You're kinda scaring me..."

"Besides, everyone knows our team's going to win," Zoe flipped her hair.

"Normally, I would want to gouge your eyes out with a spoon, but I'm gonna agree with you on this one," Yolei put her hand on Zoe's shoulder.

"Thanks?" Zoe subtly slid away from Yolei.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I guess it's never too late for teamwork?" Sora uptalked. "As long as everyone's getting along with each other, I can't really say much about it."

* * *

"The rules for this challenge are as follows. The sand sculptures must be finished before sundown. You can choose what to build as your sand sculpture, as long as it doesn't have to be blurred out on TV."

"So does that mean we can't make a penis-shaped sculpture?" Kenta asked.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" Gennai pulled a pamphlet out of his robe. "Your sexual orientation is listed as 'unidentifiable' on your bio page."

"Ha hah! Kenta's probably gay!" Kazu jeered.

"First of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay. My first digimon was gay. And secondly, your sexuality is also listed as 'unidentifiable' so I would shut up if I were you," Gennai gave Kazu a smirk. "So where were we?"

"You were in the middle of explaining the rules. So far, you told us that we have to finish our sand sculpture before sundown and we can make it any shape we want, as long as it doesn't have to be censored," TK recalled.

"Shut your face! I knew what I said!" Gennai growled.

"What the heck?" TK said, stunned by Gennai's reaction. "You just asked us where you left off!"

"Hey," Kouichi consolingly placed his hand on TK's shoulder. "You should know by now that Gennai will hate us, no matter what we do."

"Yep," Kari nodded, watching as TK sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Right, Ryo? Ryo?"

"Shhh! Not now. I'm training my Elecmon," Ryo rapidly pressed a bunch of buttons.

"Okay then," Kouichi shrugged.

"Also, these sand sculptures MUST only be made out of sand," Gennai said.

"Well, duh. What else would a sand sculpture be made out of?" Rika scoffed.

"The execs told me to say that, just in case. You have no idea what some people would do," Gennai shook his head. "And my last rule is that your sand sculpture must be complete when I come to judge it. Since Courageous Friendship won the last challenge, they get to use these tools to help them with this challenge," Gennai pulled out a net full of beach toys.

"Holla!" Matt jumped up in the air in glee.

"Uh, Matt? Don't ever say that again," Tai said.

"Okay," Gennai said. "Since I explained all the rules, start building your sculptures! Go!"

* * *

_Courageous Friendship..._

"Isn't it cool that we got all of these toys?" Davis put a bucket on his head. "I'm Bucket Man!"

"I think you should stick to Goggle Head," Rika struggled to take the bucket out of Davis's head. "What the-it's stuck! Way to go, Davis! Now you just wasted one of our tools!" she kicked his head.

"Owww!" Davis's scream was muffled by the toy bucket.

"Here, let me take care of this," Marcus cracked his knuckles and grabbed Davis's head.

"Please don't punch me! I'm sorry!" Davis panicked.

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna do anything like that," Marcus grabbed Davis by the bucket and lifted him off the ground.

*_POP_* Davis fell down on the sand. "I couldn't breathe inside that thing! Thanks man!"

"No problem," Marcus said.

"So does anyone have any idea of what we should build?" Takato held up a star-shaped mold.

"I dunno," Matt shrugged.

"Well, that's helpful," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Well I don't see you coming up with any ideas!" Matt yelled.

"You know what?!" Rika snatched the sand mold from Takato's hands and threw it at Matt.

"What would Henry do? What would Henry do?" Takato said to himself as he rubbed his temples.

* * *

_Camera Confessions:_

"I don't think Matt and Rika like each other," Takato looked around nervously. "Which doesn't make much sense, since they both act alike...only Rika's more badass."

* * *

"Bob the Builder, can he fix it? Yes he can!" Tai sang as he scooped up sand into a bucket with a shovel.

"What are you doing?" Matt scowled.

"More than you are," Tai scoffed. "Now can you guys help me build a sand castle?"

_Hours later..._

"Are you sure this is good?" Takato said. "Everyone else has bigger sculptures than us."

"Don't worry, buddy boy!" Marcus slapped Takato on his sunburned back.

"Ow," Takato winced.

"Yeah! Everyone knows we're Gennai's favorite team anyways," Davis grinned.

"Besides, we can just pretend it's a mini village, like we meant for it to be small. Kinda like those teeny little models of German villages that people like to have on display," Tai shrugged.

"Are you sure that's going to work?" Rika eyed him skeptically.

"We've been in this competition for how long, and you still don't know that bullshitting is the way to go?" Matt rested his arm on Rika's shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Rika grunted.

* * *

_Reliable Knowledge..._

"I hate the feeling of sand in my shoes," Joe whined.

"Then take off your shoes, dorkus," Koji muttered.

"Come on, guys!" Thomas yelled. "We need to think of a strategy! We don't have any tools to work with, so we're gonna have to try harder if we want to win this challenge."

"Ugh, I hate to say this, but Thomas is right," Izzy sighed.

"You have a problem with me being right?" Thomas looked over his shoulder at Izzy.

"Yes. In fact, I do," Izzy pushed up his sleeves and held his fists up. "Do you know how annoying it is when people have to be right all the time?"

"You don't want to mess with me," Thomas crossed his arms, amused by Izzy's fighting stance. "Just so you know, I've sent a bunch of Olympian athletes to the hospital."

"For what? Giving them a headache from listening to your arrogant talking?" Izzy said.

"Arrogant, you say?" Thomas raised his eyebrow. "You know what I think?"

"What?" Izzy grunted.

"You're jealous of me," Thomas said.

"What?!" Izzy's jaw dropped.

"It makes a lot of sense," Koji nodded. "You guys are both smart, but Thomas is more fit and better looking, no homo. Izzy, since you don't have good looks and most likely don't know how to fight, you're nothing but a computer nerd."

"Yep," Joe agreed. "Sums it all up."

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Izzy yelled. He then turned to Thomas and lunged at him.

"You've got to be kidding me," Thomas shook his head. "Ooof!"

"I'll show you how wrong you are!" Izzy choked him, but Thomas kneed him in the gut and pushed him off.

"Don't you think we should start working on our sculpture?" Joe said.

"No, it's more interesting to watch these guys fight," Koji smirked. "Look at this!" he watched as Izzy tried to take a swing at Thomas, but Thomas held up his arm so that his hand pushed at Izzy's head.

Joe sighed. "I guess I'll have to build this myself," he said as he started piling up sand.

* * *

_Sincere Love..._

"Oh my god! What's going on there?" Sora pointed to Thomas and Izzy fighting.

"It's probably some trick they're doing to distract us from building our sculpture," Zoe shook her head. "I mean, they're geniuses. You need to watch out for their sneaky tricks."

"I guess," Sora said.

"It has to be a joke. I mean, look at the way Izzy's fighting. It's definitely a ploy," Yolei laughed.

"We're making a turtle and that's it!" Kazu yelled.

"No! A bunny is cooler!" Kenta shoved Kazu.

"Guys, guys!" Sora yelled. "Just because they're pretending to fight doesn't give you the right to imitate them."

"What are you guys yelling about anyways?" Zoe stood akimbo.

"I want to make a bunny but Kazu thinks we should build a turtle!" Kenta pointed at Kazu.

"The only way we can settle this is by voting," Sora made a time-out signal. "So who thinks we should make a bunny?" Kenta and Mimi were the only one to raise their hands. "Okay, so turtle it is."

"Ha hah! Kenta loooooses!" Kazu jeered.

"Hey! If you don't knock it off, we'll build the bunny!" Zoe threatened. Kazu immediately stayed silent.

"Ha hah, you got yelled at," Kenta whispered at Kazu.

* * *

_The Leftovers..._

"I'm an expert at sand sculpting," TK said.

"It's true," Kari nodded. "All of us would go to the beach, and TK never went in the water because he was too busy making a bunch of statues."

"Awesome! We might actually win this," Jeri hopped in place.

"One tip is to get some damp sand. Not too dry because it crumbles easier, but not too wet because then it turns into useless goop," TK said.

"Good to know," Kouichi gave him a thumbs up. "So what should we build?"

"How about a Rufus?" Jeri pointed to her puppet. Everyone else grimaced.

"Noooo," TK shook his head. "Any other ideas?"

"How about a life-sized boat?" Kari said. "We could make a little doorway and stairs to a platform so it looks like we're on a boat."

"That's not a bad idea," TK nodded. "What do you guys think?"

"Me and Rufus like it," Jeri said.

"Same here," Kouichi said.

"How about you, Ryo?" TK asked.

"Shhh! Don't you see I'm playing a mini-game?!" Ryo yelled. "Crap, I lost. Thanks a lot T-Jerk!"

"I guess we can get started then," TK shrugged. "Let's get some sand," he pointed to the sand. "Ryo, get some sticks."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," he shooed TK away.

_Thirty minutes later..._

"I think we have all the sand we need," TK smiled at the large mountain of sand the team collected. "Ryo, where are the sticks?"

"What?" Ryo said, not taking his eyes off his Tamagotchi.

"I'm giving you one more chance," TK stomped over to Ryo and snatched the toy away.

"Hey! I was playing with that!" Ryo yelled.

"Just listen to me and I'll give this back to you," TK said calmly. "Go get the sticks."

"Okay, I heard you the first time. Now gimmie," he grabbed the toy back from TK and walked toward the backwoods.

"Is it me, or is TK being bossier than usual?" Jeri said.

"Yeah," Kouichi said.

"Just follow what TK has to say," Kari sighed. "He knows what he's doing. If we listen to him, we'll definitely have the best sculpture around."

_Hours later..._

"Look at this," TK admired the giant sculpture.

"I can't believe we built this!" Kari went through the doorway and climbed up to the top of the boat. "Look at me!"

"This is so cool!" Jeri said.

"Uh, don't mean to kill the mood, but where's Ryo?" Kouichi said.

"Yeah," Kari looked all around the boat. "Last time I saw him, he headed that way," she pointed to the forest.

"Oh my god! What if he gotten eaten by a bear?" Jeri gasped.

"I think I know exactly what happened," TK stomped off. "Ryo! Ryo!" he hollered. He heard the sound of beeping and followed it to see Ryo sitting on a rock, playing with his Tamagotchi. "RYO!"

"What," Ryo said in monotone. "I'm busy."

"You're going to be very busy, especially after what you did, or didn't do," TK yanked him by the ear and started dragging him out of the woods. "Do you know how hard the rest of the team worked? The only thing I asked you to do was get some sticks! One simple task!"

"Can you let go of my ear? It's pretty hard to play when you're ripping my ear off," Ryo said.

"You know what else is hard?" TK said. "Trying to play a game when you don't have that toy!"

"You wouldn't!" Ryo gasped.

I would!" TK grabbed the Tamagotchi from Ryo's hand and chucked it toward the beach. "Try playing your little game now."

"You bastard!" Ryo ran to the sand boat. "Since you messed up my game, I'll mess up your stupid sculpture! Now you'll know what it feels like to lose something precious!" he punched the boat.

"What are you doing?" Jeri said as half the boat began to disintegrate.

"You moron!" Kouichi screamed. "You just ruined our chances of winning!"

"And he ruined my Tamagotchi!" Ryo pointed at TK.

"You're insane. Ever since you found that blasted toy, you haven't done anything to help us out!" TK said.

"I am not crazy!" Ryo yelled.

"Can someone get me out of this avalanche?" Kari said, crushed by the sand. Kouichi went over to pull her out.

* * *

_Judging Time..._

"What is this?" Gennai quizzically looked at the small sand houses.

"We were trying to make it all miniature," Matt said.

"It's one of the biggest trends in sandcastle building," Tai said.

"Oh brother," Rika muttered.

"And you see all of those little blobs in between the houses?" Marcus pointed to them.

"They're miniature people," Takato nodded.

"And it took a lot of work to make it this small too," Tai said.

"The thing people don't understand about tiny sand castles is the amount of effort it takes for them to be this small," Matt said, sounding like a sketchy car salesman.

"Amazing," Gennai nodded. "I like it. Let me see what the other teams have done. Holy shit! What the hell happened here?!"

"We made a sand-witch," Joe said. "Well, more like I made it by myself," he said under his breath.

"Nice sculpture, but I was talking about these two," he pointed at Thomas and Izzy.

"Oh, that," Koji said. "Let's just say Izzy was cruisin' for a bruisin'."

"Wow, Izzy got his ass kicked. And Thomas just looks funny," Gennai laughed at Izzy's bruised face and the bald patch on Thomas's head.

"What do you think of our turtle?" Kenta pointed at his team's sand sculpture.

"Really?" Gennai disapprovingly looked at it. "I could easily do the same thing myself. All you guys had to do was pile up some sand and shape it into a dome!"

"If Tai's team did the same thing, they probably would have won," Yolei muttered.

"What did you say?" Gennai cocked his head to the side.

"Nothing. That was just my stomach," Yolei fibbed.

"I thought so..." Gennai said. "Totally understandable since you guys are definitely not winning awesome sandwiches."

"Damn," Kazu put his head down.

"Now time to look at the Leftovers...what the hell?!" Gennai stepped back.

"Ha hah! Finally found it!" Ryo held up his Tamagotchi.

"What is this?" Gennai pointed to the sculpture.

"Uh, it's a wrecked-up boat?" Kouichi said.

"Like in Pirates of the Caribbean?" Kari laughed nervously.

"Never seen the movies, so I don't know if you guys are telling the truth. To me, it looks like an uncompleted boat," Gennai said.

"It used to be complete," Jeri said.

"Yeah, until that asshole punched it out," TK grumbled.

"Hey everyone!" Gennai yelled. "I've got good news for you! THE LEFTOVERS ARE HEADED TO THE CAMPFIRE CEREMONIES!"

"Yayyyy!" the other teams cheered.

"What? Does everyone hate us this much?" Jeri began to cry.

"No," Kari patted Jeri on the back. "They're just happy because they didn't lose."

"Or maybe a combination of both," Kouichi muttered.

"One question!" Marcus yelled. "Who wins the sandwiches?"

"Reliable Knowledge," Gennai said. "They built a witch! Get it? A sand witch...which sounds like the word sandwich. They deserve the sandwiches because I could tell they wanted the sandwiches really badly."

"Booo! That stinks!" Davis said.

"Shut up," Gennai said. "If you guys wanted to win, you could have made a miniature witch. But you didn't, so suck it up!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Still think bullshitting is the way to go?" Rika said. "Thanks to those doofs, we don't get any real food. And when I'm hungry, I'm not an agreeable person."

* * *

"I thought TK was pretty mean today. He was angry and it scared me," Jeri hid her face with her puppet.

"Grow a pair, will you?" Rufus said.

"A pear? How?" Jeri looked at her puppet. "They grow on trees, right?"

* * *

"Oh, you know who I voted for!" TK cracked his knuckles.

* * *

"Yeah, thank god my Tamagotchi's sleeping, so I had the time to vote TK out. He's such a bastard," Ryo said, glancing at his toy.

* * *

"TK was out of hand today," Kari said. "But then again, so was Ryo."

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Ryo, I'd like to thank you for destroying your team's chances of avoiding elimination," Gennai laughed sinisterly. "Unfortunately, your teammates would beg to differ. You and TK got the most votes for elimination but the person who gets to stay is...TK. Ryo, I hate to say this but you're getting a ride on the Loser Cruiser."

"Huh?" Ryo said. "Sorry, wasn't paying attention."

"I'm not repeating myself," Gennai said. "Interns!"

Two interns picked Ryo up and walked off.

"That's a wrap! Stay tuned for the next episode," Gennai said to the cameras.

* * *

_Last words..._

_*Beep, beep, beep! Zap! Click Clack Click*_

"That's right, kick some ass!" Ryo said to his Tamagotchi.


	11. Ships Ahoy!

**Recap: **The kids are headed to a beach, where Gennai has another challenge for the contestants. Each team must build a sand sculpture, where the winning team will earn Subway sandwiches. Even though Courageous Friendship has a huge advantage, they end up making a miniature sculpture. Over at Reliable Knowledge, an agreement leads to a huge disagreement, as Izzy gets his ass kicked and Thomas ends up half-bald. Sincere Love thinks that the fight at Reliable Knowledge is nothing more than a ploy, yet they have a little discrepancy of their own. At least nobody in Sincere Love got hurt. The Leftovers are pessimistic at first, but become hopeful when they find out that TK is a sand-sculpting expert. They build a life-sized sand castle until Ryo's rage causes the sculpture to crumble apart. While everyone else on his team is arguing, Joe works on a sandwich-shaped sculpture which earns Reliable Knowledge the prized sandwiches. Thanks to a little loophole, Gennai sends The Leftovers to the Campfire Ceremonies. The team votes Ryo off over a toy, but Ryo isn't fazed at all. Hey Lefotvers, was Reliable Knowledge nice enough give you their leftover sandwiches? Get it? Leftovers eating leftovers? Okay..._I _thought it was funny.

* * *

**Ships Ahoy!**

"Takato? What are you doing hiding in that bush?" Jeri inched toward the shrub.

"It's nicer here," Takato replied.

"You're so silly!" Jeri laughed. "Now, come out and stop being shy!"

"I'm not being shy!"

Matt walked over to them and gave Jeri a strange look. "Why are you talking to that bush?"

"Because Takato's in there and he won't get out," Jeri pointed.

"I'm doing just fine in here," Takato said.

"Okay, now I'm getting worried. Get out of there," Matt stood in front of the bush.

"No!" Takato shrieked.

"Come on! Gennai's already at the shore! He's probably announcing the next challenge and I don't want to miss it!" Jeri stomped her foot.

"And neither do I," Matt said.

"Yeah! So stop being a little bitch!" her puppet barked.

Matt shook his head and sighed. "Go along without us," he shooed Jeri away. "Don't worry, I'll get Takato out."

"Okay," Jeri skipped off. "But you guys better hurry up!"

"Cause if you don't, you're dead!" the puppet moved its hand across its neck and made a cutting noise.

"Jeri's definitely lost her marbles," a terrified Matt said. He then turned around and dug his hands into the bush. "Okay, time to get you out now!"

"Oww owww ouch!" Takato whined as he tried to avoid Matt's grip.

"Stop playing around!" Matt got a hold of Takato's wrist and pulled him out.

"OWWW!" Takato yelled.

"Holy crap! You're redder than a tomato!" Matt shrieked.

"That's why I was hiding! My sunburn hurts!" Takato winced.

"What's up with those?" Yolei pointed at two rickety boats.

"Tsk tsk tsk," Gennai shook his head. "You guys should know better than to question my props."

"Don't you mean my props?" Executive Producer Lily, dressed in a pirate costume, walked over to the contestants.

"Well if it isn't Puss in Boots," Gennai sneered.

"Hey buddy," Lily pulled a sword out of her scabbard. "Just remember that I'm your boss. And if you piss me off...," she held the sword to his neck. "I'll cut you. And by the way, I was trying to channel Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean!"

"Can't take a joke, can you?" Gennai muttered.

"What did you say?" Lily pressed the edge of the sword against Gennai's neck.

"I said you look pretty?" Gennai gasped from the pressure of the knife.

"Hmmm," Lily eyed him suspiciously. "Okay! Listen up children! I have to make some changes to the teams," she barked.

"What? Why?" Kenta asked.

"You want to know why?" Lily swung her sword in his direction. "Because all of teams are getting smaller, I have to break them apart," Lily put her sword back into her scabbard.

"Is there any reason for that?" Sora asked.

"Yes! Do you know how hard, and how expensive, it is to keep track of four small groups?" Lily put her hands on her hips. "Until further notice, all of you contestants will now be divided into two teams. And for the love of god...just stay here," Lily pointed at Takato and Thomas and walked over to the camera crew. She sifted through a duffel bag, pulled out two bottles and a tiny black hat, and walked back to the children. "Here, catch!" she threw the bottles at Takato.

"What's this?" Takato shook the bottles.

"Green stuff's aloe," Lily said. "It's supposed to help the sunburn. And the white one is sunscreen, so you better put that on. I don't need any contestants looking like a Maine lobster! And you!" she motioned to Thomas. "Come here!"

"Okay...," Thomas nervously walked over to her.

"Just stay still," Lily pulled out a tube of Krazy Glue from her pocket and applied it on the rim of the hat. She then turned Thomas's head around, and pasted the little hat over his bald spot."

"A yarmulke?" Thomas raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah, I couldn't stand to look at that bald spot anymore!" Lily rubbed her temples.

"Where did you get a yarmulke anyways?" Yolei asked.

"It was one of the things that Cody left behind. Turns out he's a closet Jew. Now let's get down to serious business! All of you get in a straight line, doesn't matter the order. I'm going to give you a number so remember it!" she commanded. Everyone lined up and she started counting away. "1...2...1...2..."

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"This is gonna suck," Gennai crossed his arms and slumped in his chair. "Since Lily's breaking up the teams, it's gonna be hard for me to pick a favorit- I mean...hard for me to keep them in track. Yeah..."

* * *

"All the number ones go here and the twos go on the other side! I'll let you guys choose your official team names," Lily said.

"Ahem, last time I let them pick their names, it didn't go over too well," Gennai tugged on Lily's sleeve.

"Shut up. Nothing goes well when you're involved," Lily shook him off.

"We pick Kick-Ass Firepower!" Tai excitedly raised his hand.

"No fair!" Matt screamed. "You took away our team name!"

"Dude, chill!" Marcus pulled Matt back. "I got something even better."

"What could be better than Kick-Ass Firepower?!" Davis cried.

"The Bamfs!" Marcus grinned.

"Bamf?" Mimi scratched her head.

"What the hell is a bamf?" Matt grit his teeth.

"B-A-M-F," Marcus spelled it out. "Bad Ass Mother Fuckers?"

"Oooh, I like that!" Davis said.

"Yeah! That is way more awesome than Kick-Ass Firepower!" Kazu gave Marcus a thumbs-up.

"Okay, good!" Lily scribbled on a clipboard. "So if I'm correct, the teams are:

**Team 1 (Kick-Ass Fire Power)**

Tai, Sora, Zoe, Kari, Kouichi, Koji, Takato, Rika, Jeri, Joe

**Team 2 (The BAMFs, also known as The Bad-Ass Motherfuckers)**

Marcus, Izzy, Mimi, Kazu, Kenta, Matt, Thomas, TK, Davis, Yolei

"Team 1 will be represented with the color orange and Team 2 with purple. Now that we're done with that, it's time to explain today's challenge. Gennai?"

"Oh, right!" Gennai walked up in front of the boats. "You guys will take these boats and race to a new continent! It's not as easy as you think though. Along the way, you guys will try to stop the other team from getting ahead of you. In the ships are balloons filled with paint, which you will launch at your opposing team. Since we didn't have money in the budget for cannons, there are giant slingshots instead. Also, there are three flags on the top of the ships. While making your way to the new continent, try to knock down the opposite team's flags. Every time a flag is knocked down, some obstacle will pop out. Sounds like fun, right?"

"So basically we slow down the other team by throwing paint balloons at them while we try to make it to the continent first?" TK asked.

"Wow, when you put it that way," Gennai grimaced. "You really like to oversimplify things, don't you? This challenge isn't as easy as it sounds, that's why it's called a challenge. It's supposed to be CHALLENGING! Get on your boats now, you scalliwags! I'll be waiting for you on the other side," he grinned and boarded on a luxury cruise ship.

"We're gonna kick your asses!" Marcus yelled at Tai.

"Nuh uh! We're gonna kick your asses! In fact, we're gonna smash your asses so hard-" Tai said before Koji grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Don't," Koji shook his head. "Just please stop talking."

"Ha hah!" Davis jeered. "Even your own team agrees with us! That's what you get for-"

"Come on," Yolei yanked him by his hood. "While you guys were talking trash, everyone else is already in their boats!"

"Holy crap!" Tai looked around him. "She's right!"

"And if you don't get on soon, we're leaving you behind. I'm not babysitting anyone," Koji grunted as he made his way inside the boat.

"Wait!" Tai chased after him.

"Sucks for him," Marcus watched Tai in amusement.

"You shouldn't be saying anything," Thomas crossed his arms and entered the boat.

"Let's get a move on!" Yolei groaned as she struggled to drag Davis and Marcus in the boat.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower..._

"So who's going to be the captain?" Joe asked.

"Me of course!" Zoe said.

"Are you kidding me?" Rika snorted. "Why should you be the captain?"

"Because she's a control freak," Koji muttered.

"I am not a control freak! You take that back!" Zoe barked.

"You know what?" Rika turned to Koji. "I think I'm gonna like you," she punched him in the arm.

"I honestly don't care if you like me or not. I'm not here to make friends; I'm here to win," Koji walked off.

"Wow, he sounds just like you!" Takato said, hiding under a crate.

"Are you saying I'm a jerk face?!" Rika kicked the box.

"Case in point," Takato sighed.

"Zee, you should be captain," Sora said. "You are small enough to fit up there," she pointed to the crow's nest.

"See?" Zoe put her hands on her hips. "Anyone else think I should be captain?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as it's not me," Kouichi walked off to the other side of the boat.

"Whatever, be the captain," Kari shrugged. "No one else really cares."

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I don't like Kari. Simple as that. I just don't understand why everyone else seems to like her. She's just a little bitch to me. And a slut. A bitchy slut, yeah. Perfect way to describe her," Zoe nodded.

* * *

"Well, if there aren't any objections," Zoe smiled.

"There aren't, so just climb up there already!" Tai snapped.

"Okay!" Zoe ignored her teammates' irritation and climbed up the mast.

"Since Zoe's up there, who wants to steer?" Joe asked.

"I'll do it," Tai flexed his muscles. "I've got the requirements."

"Alright," Joe shrugged. "I guess the rest of us are going to launch the balloons. Now let's set sailing!"

* * *

_The BAMFs (aka: The Bad-Ass Motherfuckers)..._

"Guess what guys?" Kazu had a sinister smile on his face.

"What?" Izzy huffed.

"I'm Sailor Moon!" Kazu pulled down his pants and flashed his butt to everyone.

"Ewww!" Mimi screamed.

"Ha hah hah hah hah!" Kenta cracked up. "Just priceless!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick...sicker than I already am," TK covered his mouth.

"Are you okay?" Matt walked over to TK and wrapped his arms around him.

"Please don't touch me, unless you want me to puke all over you," TK shakily said.

"Okay, okay!" Matt let go of him and jumped back.

"Well, I don't think so!" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Are we going to have to fight again?" Thomas said. "Because frankly, I don't feel like wasting my time, especially with an inexperienced opponent like you."

"Do you want another yarmulke glued on your head?" Izzy growled.

"Hey hey hey!" Marcus stood in between the two boys. "If you don't knock it off, I'll beat the both of you into 2050!"

"Huh?" Yolei looked behind her. "What's going on?"

"Oooh, looks like another fight!" Kazu pulled up his pants.

"Let's go see!" Kenta exclaimed. Everyone ran over to the boys to see what was going on.

"What makes you think you should be captain?" Izzy was clearly irritated. "My navigation skills are excellent!"

"It's true," Mimi nodded her head. "He could read a compass."

"Well, did you graduate from the Stockholm Royal University of Science?" Thomas raised his eyebrow at Izzy.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Marcus said. "You're a doctor, not a compass reader guy!"

"I think I need a doctor," TK laid face down on the floor.

"Let's ask the team then," Marcus said. "Who thinks Izzy should be captain?" he raised his hand.

"Leave it to Marcus to oppose me," Thomas shook his head.

Matt and Mimi were the only other two to raise their hands. "Seriously guys?" Izzy shook his head at the rest of the team.

"Well, Thomas did go to an awesome college," Kenta shrugged.

"Yeah, the guy's smart!" Davis said.

"And he's sexy too," Yolei blew a kiss to Thomas.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"In my opinion, Thomas is soooo last year," Mimi twirled her hair. "Thomas was hot until he got that bald spot...now he looks like Prince William wearing a yarmelke to cover up his lack of hair."

"You take that back!" Yolei yelled. "Thomas is still sexy!"

"Then you can keep him for yourself. I think Izzy's hotter," Mimi said.

"What?" Yolei grimaced. "How can you say that?"

"He looks like a bad boy with all those bruises on his face. And I like bad boys," Mimi grinned. "Is it wrong that I like guys who look beaten up?"

"Uh...yeah?" Yolei shot her a strange look. "That's pretty messed up, if you ask me."

"Well, I don't care. Izzy looks totally hot now...only don't tell him I said that," Mimi pressed her lips together and looked around the room.

* * *

"I guess that makes me captain," Thomas blushed. "Izzy, you can steer the ship."

"Izzy," Kazu tugged at his sleeve.

"What?" he sighed.

"Does this make you Thomas's little bitch boy?"

"What?!" Izzy spazzed.

"Well, Thomas beat you pretty badly and now you have to do what he says," Kazu explained.

"If you don't mind, I have a ship to man," Izzy walked off to the steering wheel.

"Bitch boy," Kazu laughed.

* * *

"Arf arf! Look behind!" Jeri spoke through her puppet.

"You guys are going down!" Davis put a paint balloon in the slingshot and aimed for the boat.

*_Splat_*

"Ugh! I got purple paint all over me! That's it! You guys are gonna get it!" Rika angrily walked over to one of the slingshots and launched a balloon at The Bamfs.

*_Splat! Crash!_*

"She knocked down one of the flags!" Davis gaspsed.

"I know," Thomas yelled. "She barely missed my head. Izzy, speed up the ship!"

"There's only so much I can do," Izzy muttered as he rowed the boat.

"TK! Watch out!" Matt screamed. One of the sails began to fall down.

"Umph," TK groaned, still on the floor.

"Get out!" Marcus ran up to him and picked him up before the sail crashed down. "Whoa, you're not looking too good."

"I'll be fine," TK sounded queasy. "I'll just hang over the boat."

"Come on! We need to get back at those guys!" Matt screamed. "Can someone help us out here?!"

"Coming!" Kenta ran over to the slingshots and rapidly shot paint balloons at Zoe.

"Uhhhh!" Zoe tried to dodge them.

"Don't waste the balloons on her! Aim for the flags doofus!" Yolei screamed.

"Roger!" Kenta quickly flung balloons at the other boat.

"You'll never get us!" Tai cried out. "Keep the balloons coming!"

"Nobody tells me what to do," Koji snorted and walked to the other side of the boat.

"Jerkass!" Tai screamed.

"Don't worry. We got it," Sora rushed over to the slingshots.

"You can count on us!" Kari saluted Tai.

"We're never going to get anywhere if the girls are the only ones throwing the balloons," Kouichi said.

"Hey!" Rika threw a balloon at him.

"Stop it! We're supposed to shoot those guys! Not each other!" Tai screamed. "Takato! Where are you?!"

"Here," Takato's voice was muffled by the crate.

"What are you doing under there?!"

"I'm really sunburned and the shade feels nice," Talato said.

"Fine," Tai rolled his eyes. "Koji! You better be doing something if you want out team to win! Otherwise, your ass is on the chopping block!"

"I was going to steer the ship, because I wanted too," Koji said. "Not because you told me too."

"Unbelievable! I'm stuck with a team where half of the people don't want to do anything!" Tai sighed.

"The other team is ahead of us, but if we sneak behind them, we can easily knock down another one of their flags!" Zoe hollered.

"Good plan!" Tai said. "Let's get going! Kari, what are you doing? The flags are up there!"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing," Kari aimed a balloon lower down on the ship.

"Ready...set...AIM!" Davis commanded.

"Booyah!" Kazu said triumphantly.

"They knocked down two of our flags!" Jeri screamed. "Look!"

The crow's nest began to crumble. "Someone help!" Zoe yelled as she fell to the floor.

"High-five!" Matt held up his hands Kazu and Kenta.

"We totally rock!" Marcus put his fist up in the air.

*_Splat*_

"Umph!" An orange paint balloon hit TK in the back and he fell over the ship.

"Man overboard!" Thomas screamed.

"HELP ME!" TK frantically tried to stay up on the water. "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!"

"Whoa, Kari! You like to play dirty, don't you?" Tai's jaw dropped.

"I told you I knew what I was doing," Kari smirked.

"Don't celebrate yet!" Koji said. "The current's getting stronger!"

"Where are you going?!" Thomas yelled at Izzy.

"I can't move this damn ship!" Izzy punched the steering wheel.

"SOMEONE GET ME UP!" TK gasped, choking on sea water.

"I'm trying!" Matt grabbed a giant net and tried to scoop TK up.

*_WHOOSH* _Whirlpools started to appear and a rush of water shot up high in the sky.

"Hi y'all!" Ranamon sat up on the water, waving at the children.

"Not you again!" Zoe and Koji said in unison.

"Who is that? She's kinda cute," Kazu said.

"The name's Ranamon, but you can call me Queen of the Sea, sugar," Ranamon winked.

"You're not Renamon!" Rika shot a paint balloon at her.

"You little brat!" Ranamon screamed. "Y'all children gonna get it now! Whippin' Waves!"

"Hold on tight!" Kouichi gripped on to the edge of the boat.

"MATT! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" TK struggled to breathe, as the whirlpools started to pull him underwater.

"I'm trying!" Matt screamed.

"That's not all I got! Drainin' Rain!" Ranamon clapped her hands and dark clouds began to hover over the boats.

"Ugh! My clothes are getting wet!" Mimi whined.

"Are you serious? This digimon is attacking us, and you're worried about your clothes?" Izzy shook his head in disbelief.

"Hey toots! Over here!" Marcus waved his hands up in the air.

"MARCUS! What are you doing?!" Thomas screamed.

"Shut up!" Marcus turned around.

"Want an extra helping of me, hun?" Ranamon turned over to Marcus.

_*Splat splat splat*_

"Heh heh," Davis laughed as he shot Ranamon with balloons.

"Ugh! I'm covered in purple!" Ranamon yelled. "If that's how y'all want to play... Slide Digivolve to...Calmaramon!"

"How did someone that pretty turn into that monstrosity?" Yolei grimaced.

"Wow, you're ugly!" Kouichi blurted.

"You think I'm ugly? You should see my attacks! Acid Ink!" she puked some black ink at Kick-Ass Firepower's boat.

"That's attractive," Takato winced.

"Let me get a shot at her!" Marcus stood up at the edge of the ship.

"Marcus!" Thomas yelled.

"Relax!" Marcus rolled his eyes. "IT'S FIGHTING TIME!" he leaped off the boat and punched Calmaramon in the gut. "DNA CHARGE! Wait..."

"Oh please," Calmaramon knocked him down in the water.

"WHOA!" Marcus crashed into the water.

"I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP!" TK tried to keep his head up out of the water.

"STOP PANICKING!" Marcus screamed.

"That's easy to say...IF YOU COULD SWIM!" TK yelled, swallowing in more water.

"HEY GUYS!" Izzy let go of the steering wheel and shouted at the other boat.

"Izzy! Don't you dare!" Thomas said firmly.

Izzy ignored him and continued to yell. "I'VE GOT A PLAN!"

"WHAT?" Tai screamed back.

"I GOT A PLAN!" Izzy shouted.

"I KNOW!" Tai hollered. "WHAT IS IT?"

"IF WE SHOOT OUR BALLOONS AT HER, WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO DEFEAT HER!"

"You're becoming just as ridiculous as Marcus!" Thomas gave himself a facepalm.

"I GUESS WE CAN GIVE THAT A SHOT!" Sora screamed.

"Come on," Izzy yelled at his team. "Drop what you're doing and start shooting!"

"Don't listen to him! He didn't even come up with a good plan!" Thomas yelled.

"Well, it's better than doing nothing, unless you have a better idea!" Matt scoffed.

"MATT!" TK screamed. "GET US OUT!"

"SERIOUSLY! THIS KID'S DRAGGING ME DOWN!" Marcus gasped

"Oh right," Matt grabbed his net and went back to trying to get Marcus and TK out of the water.

*_Bam bam splat blat boom splat splat bam!*_

"I can't! Stop hitting me with those!" Calmaramon tried to avoid getting hit.

"NO!" Davis said as he kept launching balloons at her.

"WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF AMMO!" Kouichi screamed.

"We're running out of balloons too," Yolei said.

"JUST KEEP IT GOING!" Izzy commanded.

"Ahhh! Ooof! Stop it!" Calmaramon grunted.

"We only have one balloon left," Jeri said.

"Then let's make it count," Rika took the balloon from Jeri's hand and shot it at Calmaramon.

"OH NO!" Calmaramon screamed. She turned into a black shadow and a ring of light surrounded her as she shrunk.

"Fractal Code Digitize!" Kouichi held his hand up in the air. "It would have been cooler if I had my D-Tector with me," he sighed. Calmaramon de-digivolved into an egg and the waters started to calm down.

"You did it!" Mimi jumped up and wrapped her arms around Izzy.

"He just got lucky," Thomas grunted.

"He sure did!" Zoe had a mischievous smile on her face. "And thanks to him, we're getting lucky too! Let's go! Mush! Mush!" she screamed as her teammates quickly steered their ship.

"This is great! Now the other team is ahead of us!" Thomas groaned.

"Aha!" Matt smiled as he fished Marcus and TK up from the water.

"About time," Marcus panted. "Gilligan there tried to kill me," he pointed at TK, who was grasping at his neck.

"TK! Are you okay?" Yolei screamed. TK shook his head, his face turning purple. His eyes rolled backwards and he passed out.

"HELP! HELP!" Davis ran around the ship. "DOES ANYONE KNOW CPR?!"

"TK's gonna die!" Mimi began to weep.

"Hey, don't say that!" Matt screamed.

"I got it!" Thomas jumped off the crow's nest and ran over to TK.

"Hurry!" Davis said.

"I am!" Thomas sat next to TK and thrust his hands against his chest.

"What are you doing?" Kenta whispered to Kazu.

"Just recording some video gold," Kazu pointed his Flip camcorder at Thomas.

"It's not working," Thomas said. "I was hoping it wouldn't have to resort to this," he winced as he pinched TK's nose.

"Oh my god, they're making out!" Kenta whisper-yelled.

"Don't be an idiot!" Matt smacked him in the back of the head.

"Technically, isn't it like rape cause TK's unconscious?" Kazu said.

"You morons!" Matt punched Kazu in the face.

*_Cough cough cough* _"Hey, what happened?" TK sat up.

"You were choking, so I gave you CPR," Thomas said.

"I'll show you," Kazu held his camcorder up.

"There's no time for that!" Matt made a threatening face at Kazu and Kenta. "We've got a boat to beat."

* * *

_An hour later..._

"Are you sure we're not lost?" Mimi asked.

"We're not lost. I know where we're going," Thomas said.

"Really? Cause we've been going in a circle," Izzy huffed.

"Maybe because you're not moving the boat in the right direction," Thomas said.

"FYI, you're the one that tells me where to move the ship!" Izzy yelled.

"ENOUGH!" Yolei stomped her foot. "We clearly have communication issues!"

"You want communication? Then here goes. Thomas, you don't know east from west!" Izzy hollered.

"At least I'm tall enough to see above the steering wheel!" Thomas said.

"STOP IT!" Davis screamed. "We're not getting anywhere if you guys fight like little bitches!"

"Seriously!" Matt crossed his arms. "Thomas, if you're soooo tall, then why don't you steer the boat?"

"Fine. I will," Thomas climbed down the mast and walked over to Izzy. "I'll show you how to get the job done correctly."

"Izzy, get up that thing," Matt pointed to the crow's nest. "Tell us where to go."

"I will," Izzy said. "I'll show Thomas how to get a job done correctly."

"Fun ride," TK said shakily before he vomited into the water.

* * *

"If you guys didn't already know, you pretty much lost the challenge," Gennai said. "Excited for the Campfire Ceremonies?"

"No," Davis pouted.

"We probably could have won if someone didn't fall over the boat," Kenta muttered.

"What are you trying to say, you little punk?!" Marcus grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Please let go of me..." Kenta squirmed.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"It really is TK's fault that we were last," Kazu said. "If he didn't fall off the boat, we wouldn't have to waste time trying to save him.

* * *

"I don't know who to vote off...Marcus for provoking Calmaramon or Izzy for not following orders," Thomas rubbed his chin. "It's hard when the both of them do the opposite of what I say."

* * *

"Dude, the guys were right. Thomas is completely arrogant," Matt said. "And that's coming from me. Sure, the girls like him cause he's attractive or whatever, but he's so ridiculous! He can't be an expert on everything, no matter where he got his degree from."

* * *

"Kazu. Definitely Kazu," Mimi nodded her head. "I'm still mad about him flashing his butt...so gross!"

* * *

"There's no way I'm voting Thomas out. The guy saved my life," TK said.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"I'm so disappointed in you guys," Gennai said. "First of all, I missed out on the second make-out session on this show. Luckily, Kazu recorded it for me. See?" He showed the footage of Thomas performing CPR on TK. "I'm not judging, but I would have never guessed you would roll that way, Thomas. And to take advantage of a poor, unconscious boy?"

"You're an idiot!" Matt said. "They weren't kissing!"

"Whatever you say," Gennai shrugged. "Anyways, I'm also disappointed because it seems like you guys cannot work together. Whether or not you like it, you guys are a team!"

"Uh, what's up with you being all...America's Next Top Model?" Yolei said.

"That's what the producers want me to say," Gennai held up a cue card. "If you ask me, it's stupid so let's get down to the elimination! Izzy, Thomas...you guys received the highest number of votes out of everyone else in the team. I guess two smart guys can't work in the same team. The one genius that'll be eliminated is...Thomas!"

"What?" Thomas stood in shock.

"Noooo!" Yolei cried.

"I think it had something to do with the yarmulke," Gennai whispered in Thomas's direction.

"Sure...that's it," Matt scoffed.

"Anyways, pack your bags because the Loser Cruiser is picking you up!" Gennai said. "Good night everyone!"

"Wait!" Yolei grabbed Thomas by his wrist. "Before you go...," she grabbed his head and kissed him.

"Hubba hubba...two makeouts in one day!" Gennai rubbed his hands together.

_One hour later..._

Everyone was sitting on the logs, watching Yolei make out with Thomas. "This is getting old," Matt shook his head.

"At least we now know that Yolei could keep this up for a long, _long_ time," Kenta grinned.

"Okay, seriously?" Gennai looked at his watch. "That's enough," he pulled Yolei away from Thomas.

"Nooo! I wasn't done yet!" Yolei said.

"But we are. Thomas, get your ass out of here," Gennai shook his head.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"I still can't believe it," Thomas held his hand up to his cheek. "How did I get eliminated? I thought I was doing a good job leading our team. I guess that's just one of the mysteries of life. Kind of how I still have this yarmulke stuck to my head. This glue sure is strong."


	12. The Carnival Games

**Author's Note: Just wanted to give a shoutout to my friend Jamie, who spent the last month designing the cover image for this story. He just got one of those drawing pad things, and this is the first picture he drew with it. I watched him put the finishing touches on the cover, and wow, it's a lot of work! He said his favorite part of drawing this was creating the logo, lol!**

* * *

**Recap: **Lily disbands the four teams and divides everyone into two new teams. These new teams must hop on their boats and race each other to a new continent. The common problem these teams have is deciding who should be the team captain. Kick-Ass Firepower caves in and lets Zoe lead the ship, while the BAMFs takes a long time arguing who should be captain. Thanks to a popularity contest, the BAMFs choose Thomas over Izzy as their team captain. Kari finds a weakness that stops the BAMFs from advancing forward, and TK is sent knocking over the water. Man overboard anyone? If that wasn't enough, everyone sails peacefully until they run into a demon of the sea. Both teams work together to defeat this ugly digimon by throwing paint balloons at it. Each team runs out of balloons so it's all up to the captains' navigation skills to get them to the continent. Unfortunately, Thomas gets the team going around in circles and Izzy takes over as captain. Although Izzy moves the ship in the right direction, it wasn't enough to reach Server Continent first. Thomas didn't only get his team lost at sea, but he also lost a chance to stay in the competition.

* * *

**The Carnival Games**

"What better way to start off on Server Continent than to head to an amusement park?" Gennai grinned.

"Are you serious?" Jeri asked excitedly.

"Oh baby! Pinch me cause I think I'm dreaming!" Davis gushed.

"Okay," Kari grabbed a piece of Davis's skin and twisted it.

"Ow ow ow! It was just an expression!" Davis rubbed his arm.

"I only wanted to help," Kari said coyly.

* * *

_Camera Confessions_:

"Did I mention I hate Kari? She's such a Mary Sue. 'Oh look at me! I'm so perfect with my little self, hee hee hee!' Give me a break. Seriously. That girl could take a dump in someone's hat, and everyone would still think she's adorable. Oh wait...," Zoe took off her hat and held it to her chest, as if she were protecting it. "Why is she on my team?!"

* * *

"This isn't a dream! You guys get to spend the whole day having fun!" Gennai waved his hands in the air.

"But?" Tai asked.

"But what?" Gennai said innocently.

"Chicken butt what!" Kazu yelled. Kenta automatically cracked up.

"What?" Koji scowled.

"I said what what, in the butt!" Kenta laughed.

"Stop...you went too far," Kazu put his hand on Kenta's shoulder and shook his head.

"We don't trust you, Gennai. We know there's a drawback, so get it over with and just tell us," Matt stood akimbo.

"Wow, smart boy you are," Gennai wagged his finger at Matt. "Okay, so you guys will be playing carnival games, but you'll have to win them if you want your team to avoid the Campfire Ceremonies. There are nine activities, and each team has to decide which person does which game. For every game that someone wins, they will be awarded a gold medal. The team with the most gold medals wins. Any questions?"

Joe raised his hand. "You said there are nine activities, right?"

"Yes," Gennai clenched his fists.

"And you said each team has to pick one person to do a certain activity, right?"

"Yes boy, yes! Weren't you listening to a damn thing I said?" Gennai snapped.

"I did, but I don't understand this. If there are nine games, with two people to each game, then that means 18 contestants can play," Joe explained.

"Wow, someone's a mathematician," Gennai rolled his eyes.

"But there's 19 of us, so we have one person extra," Joe pushed up his glasses.

Gennai pulled a calculator out of his robe, and then counted the contestants. "Jiminy Cricket, you're right! For that, I'll reward you by letting you play the funniest game out here," Gennai hugged Joe.

"What will I get to play?" Joe said.

"Ticket ripper!" Gennai let go of him.

"Ticket ripper?!" Joe spazzed.

"Yeah, ticket ripper!" Gennai enthusiascally.

"Really? You've got to be kidding me," Joe slumped.

"I know you're totally stoked, but you don't want to show it because you don't want to make people jealous. You're so modest!" Gennai patted Joe on the back. "Now go with the nice Gotsumon and head to the ticket booth. Have fun!" he called as the Gotsumon dragged Joe away. "For the rest of you, here's a list of the activities:

**Carnival Games**

1) Hot dog eating contest

2) Horse Derby

3) Cake Walk

4) Skeeball

5) Soccer Kick

6) Shoot the Hoops

7) Duck Pond

8) Mechanical Bull

9) Kissing booth

"When you decide who does what, tell me so I can jot it down in my Hello Kitty notepad. I just got it yesterday so I'm really excited to use it," Gennai held up a small, pink notepad.

"What doesn't he keep in that robe?" Takato whispered.

"Tell me about it. It's like he has a whole convenience store in there," Yolei muttered.

"Hey Gennai?" Kouichi raised his hand. " What's up with the kissing booth? That's not necessarily a competitive game."

"Well, the digimon who usually run the kissing booth caught a nasty virus, so they need someone to fill in for them. Naturally, me being the good humanitarian that I am, volunteered you guys out," Gennai grinned. "Whoever gets the kissing booth has to get more kisses than their opponent. I would say 'Any more questions?' but I just want to head back to my nice, fancy RV as soon as possible."

"I wanna do the Soccer Kick," TK said.

"Are you sure?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "I think Davis is the best choice for that game."

"Yeah!" Davis nodded. "Me too."

"Davis is the captain of his soccer team, so he should play that game, And besides, you're really good at basketball, so we need you for Shoot The Hoops," Yolei said.

"Are you guys saying you don't think I can do the Soccer Kick?" TK frowned.

* * *

_Camera Confessions_:

"I hate when TK does that puppy dog look. How can anyone with a heart say no to that face?" Matt brushed his hair back. "That's pretty much how he ended up taking my favorite motorcycle jacket..."

* * *

"Fine, but don't screw it up," Davis grunted.

"I get dibs on the Hot Dog Eating Contest!" Marcus said. "Man, I remember how me and Agumon used to eat a mountain of fried eggs all the time. I miss my mom's cooking."

"I volunteer as tribute!" Zoe raised her fist up.

"What are you talking about?" Rika snapped.

"I'll do the kissing booth," Zoe flipped her hair. "I am attractive, so I'll definitely win this one."

"Okay then," Kari shrugged. "Saves the rest of us from having to make out with digimon."

"Hey Takato," Jeri pulled at his sleeve. "You should do the Cake Walk."

"Yeah! That's a good idea!" Tai nodded his head.

"What?! Just because I work at a bakery doesn't mean I can do a cake walk!" Takato held his hands in front of his chest.

"Don't belittle yourself like that," Sora said. "We all know you can do this."

"But-"

"Awesome, so Takato's doing the Cake Walk," Tai said. "Now we gotta decide what the rest of us are gonna do. Let's get down to business here," he cracked his knuckles.

"What?!" Izzy exclaimed. "Why?"

"Because you were taking too long to choose what game to play," Davis said.

"Well, how could I choose when everyone snatched up all of the other games in a millisecond?!" Izzy gripped his head.

"I told you, you took too long," Davis shrugged. "Besides, you look like you need to get some."

"But with a digimon?!" Izzy screeched. "Kazu, switch with me?"

"I'd like to, but no. I'm pretty boss at Skeeball," Kazu smirked.

"You know you can't just walk up the ramp and drop the ball in the bullseye, right?" Kenta scoffed.

"But that's how I win," Kazu frowned.

"Yeah, so you should let me do Skeeball. I know physics, so that will give me a great advantage to win this game," Izzy said.

"Physics? More like physical, which is what you'll be doing when you snog your face off!" Kazu stuck his tongue out.

"Come on! Yolei?" Izzy begged. "You like to make out with anything that breathes...and sometimes things that don't breathe."

"That's true, but sorry, you're on your own," Yolei laughed.

"Everyone's assigned to their activities?" Gennai loudly asked.

"We sure are!" Mimi smiled.

"Oh brother...why me?" Izzy sighed.

* * *

_Game 0: Ticket Ripping_

"Look kid, it's not that hard," the Gotsumon said. "A sheet of 20 tickets are 10 bucks, and the unlimited ticket pass is 25 dollars. All you gots to do is rip the tickets from this," the Gotsumon put his hand on a big roll of tickets. "And if people buy the unlimited pass, then you get to put these orange bracelets on their wrists. That's my favorite part of the job. Got it? Good."

"I guess," Joe sighed.

"Look, here's your first customer. Now sell, sell, sell!"

"Okay," Joe groaned as he shuffled his way to the booth window. "Hello, how many tickets do you want?"

"That's my boy! I love how you sound completely uninterested! People like it when you look like you hate your job!" the Gotsumon gave Joe a thumbs-up.

"I hate this challenge," Joe muttered.

"Good work, good work! You sound so convincing! At this rate, you'll be ripping more tickets than everybody else!" the Gotsumon happily said.

* * *

_Game 1: Hot Dog Eating Contest_

"Oh, it's you," Marcus grumbled.

"I could say the same thing about you," Tai made a face.

"Whatever. Just know that I'm gonna tear this place around like the badass motherfucker I am!" Marcus jerked his thumb at himself.

"Please," Tai rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna kick your ass so hard, it'll explode and pieces of your ass will end up in Pluto!"

"I know what you're trying to do!" Marcus grabbed Tai by his shirt. "And it's not gonna work!"

"Break it up, break it up!" a Burgermon stood in between the boys. "The hot dog eating contest is starting so you better get seated!"

"Ha ha, you're a Burgermon and you're taking over the hot dog eating contest. That's so ironically funny!" Tai laughed.

"What's so funny about that?" the Burgermon glared at Tai. "Just because I'm a burger digimon, I can't hold a hot dog eating contest?"

"Uh...," Tai hesitated.

"You just pissed off a digimon!" Marcus sneered.

"Just get in your seats," the agitated Burgermon pointed to a table.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to the 879th annual Hot Dog Eating Contest," a Floramon stepped on stage. "The rules of the game are simple! You have until sundown to eat as many hot dogs as you can. You must eat the whole hot dog, and you can only eat one hot dog at a time. If you throw up, you're automatically disqualified. If you do not finish your hot dog, you are disqualified. And if we catch you spitting out or hiding your hot dogs, not only are you disqualified, but you will also get hit by a bunch of paddles for cheating. That's pretty much all of the rules, so when I blare the horn, start eating!"

*_SCREEEECH_*

"You're going down!" Tai snatched a hot dog out of Marcus's hand.

"Oh yeah, buddy?" Marcus grabbed another hot dog. "Well, I'm not scared! I've had a lot of practice!" he said while chomping down on a hot dog.

"You know it's rude to talk with your mouth full? Did your mom teach you any manners?" Tai grumbled in between bites.

"Whatever, at least my mom's not banging Gennai!" Marcus retorted.

"Uh oh," Tai put his hand on his stomach. He sat backwards in his seat and threw up.

"You're disqualified!" a Floramon waved a red flag in front of Tai's face.

* * *

_Game 2: Horse Derby_

"Come one, come all for a game of Horse Derby, where there's always a winner in every round!" an Etemon stood on top of the counter. "Oh, look! Whaddya have here? You guys ready for a game?"

"Sure," Kouichi shrugged.

"I'm down yo!" Kenta stood in a gangster pose.

"Right...," the Etemon made a face. "Here's the rundown! You guys have water guns attached to this counter. You press the handle buttons and water will shoot out. Aim for the red center over here," the Etemon motioned at the little targets on the wall. "When you hit the red, your horse will move farther down the path," he pointed to four horses attached to the wall. The first horse to cross the finish line gets a prize! Ready...set...go!"

Kouichi and Kenta started to shoot their water guns. "Dammit! Why are you ahead?" Kenta grunted. Kouichi simply ignored him as he concentrated on the game. "Hey! Are you listening to me?" Kenta yelled. Kouichi was still fixated on the game. "Okay, maybe this will get your attention!" Kenta aimed his gun at Kouichi and sprayed him with water.

"What was that for?!" Kouichi let go of his gun.

"Ha ha! Sucker!" Kenta laughed as he shot water at his target. "Go pony, go!"

* * *

_Game 3: Cake Walk_

"I seriously can't do this," Takato looked at the clear pool in front of him. There were podiums on each side of the pool, with only two narrow, wooden planks acting as bridges connecting the podiums together.

"I don't think I can do this either," Matt winced. "I thought the Cake Walk was an eating contest."

"How could this be an eating contest?" Takato looked at Matt as if he said something stupid, even though Matt did say something stupid.

"Well, I thought a Cake Walk is when you eat as many cakes as you can while walking," Matt said.

"Okay...," Takato turned away from Matt.

"Welcome to the infamous Cake Walk!" a Candlemon spoke through a microphone. "Who wants to be our first contestants?"

"We don't want to, but we have to," Matt said.

"Okay, come on up, children," the Candlemon said. Takato and Matt climbed the ladder up to the podium and stood next to the Candlemon. "Glad you boys want to play! The rules are simple! All you have to do is walk on those planks from one side of the pool to the other, and then back. The first person to do so wins. If you fall into the pool, you lose. Any questions?"

"How is cake involved in this?" Matt asked.

"Oh, that's right! Thanks for reminding me!" the Candlemon motioned two smaller Candlemon to him. The Candlemon carried four cakes with them. They handed two cakes to each boy. "I forgot to mention, you need to hold up a cake in each hand, with your palm flat underneath the cakes, kinda like how the pizza guys carry pizza pies. The winner gets to keep his cakes to eat. Ready to play?"

"I guess," Takato gulped. "Just one question. How high up are we from the pool?"

"Twenty feet," the Candlemon said.

"Wow, that's gonna be one nasty fall," Matt remarked.

"It sure is," the Candlemon said. "So if you do fall, try to fall inside the pool."

"We'll try," Takato began to tremble.

"Hey, buddy? Wanna trade cakes with me? I don't like lemon creme," Matt said.

* * *

_Game 4: Skeebal_l

"Watch out, cause I'm gonna wipe the floor with your ass!" Kazu poked Koji in the chest.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Koji threatened. "How about you stop talking smack and start losing?"

"What are you trying to say, you ponytail wearing dude?"

"Just what I said," Koji coldly said. "I'm going to win."

"Wow. You really are a jerk," Kazu grimaced.

"And you're a homo. Truth hurts, huh?" Koji nonchantly adjusted his bandana.

"Okay, you know the rules," a Jijimon said. "You've got ten balls. Roll them up the ramp to put them in the holes. The person with the highest score wins. Now get started!"

Koji began to roll his balls up the ramp while Kazu put all his balls under his shirt. "Hey Jijimon! There's a Babamon over there!" Kazu pointed in a random direction.

"Oooh, where? I sure do love me my Babamon!" the Jijimon squinted.

"Over...there," Kazu pointed. "Do you see?"

"Not really. I have to get a better view," the Jijimon began to wander off.

"Heh heh," Kazu chuckled as he ran up the ramp.

"What are you doing?" Koji grunted.

"Winning," Kazu said as he dropped balls into the 500 point zone. "Like a boss!"

* * *

_Game 5: Soccer Kick_

"TK?" Sora asked. "I never thought I'd be competing with you. I naturally assumed Davis would play this game."

"Why? Don't think I can play soccer too?" TK said defensively.

"No, I didn't say that. I just thought you guys would pick Davis because he seems like the best choice for a game like this. I guess you must be really good yourself."

"Geez! Does anybody believe in me?" TK gripped his head.

"Sorry, sorry," Sora apologized. "Someone's a little touchy."

"Yay yay yay! I love to play games!" Calumon jumped up and down in his stool. "This game is really fun! You get ten soccer balls, which you have to kick through the holes!" Calumon excitedly pointed to two pieces of plywood with big holes in them. "Whoever gets the most balls through the holes wins the game! Yay for winning!"

"I've got this, I know I can do this," TK gave himself a pep talk. He watched as Sora effortlessly kicked her soccer balls.

"Shoot, I missed one," Sora said.

"Okay, time to prove how awesome you are," TK talked to himself. He kicked a soccer ball really hard toward the plywood. He missed it and the ball flew back and hit him in the face. "Owww!" TK fell backwards, clutching his face.

"Ohhh," Calumon's ears went down. "Owwies hurt."

"Are you okay?" Sora asked.

"I'm fine," TK got himself up from the floor. He kicked another ball and missed again. The ball ricocheted and hit him on the crotch.

"Ummmph," TK whimpered in pain and dropped down on his knees.

"That looks like it hurts," Calumon looked at TK in pity.

* * *

_Game 6: Shoot The Hoops_

"Stupid TK," Davis grumbled as a basketball bounced off the rim. "I'm not that good at this! He should know that! Stupid bastard!" he furiously kept throwing basketballs at the hoop, missing every time.

"Can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to win," Rika scoffed.

"I know, right?" Davis said. "It's pretty hard to win when the blasted hoop keeps moving back and forth!"

"Please don't talk to me," Rika said in monotone. She threw a ball and it went through the hoop.

"I see someone doesn't like conversation. Fine then. I'll be quiet," Davis said. "Just pretend that square area is TK's face. Yeah, that'll work," he mumbled.

"Whatever happened to you being quiet?" Rika said in annoyance.

"Okay, okay! I'll seriously be quiet...starting now," Davis said. He picked up a basketball and aimed for the square area on the backboard. The ball gracefully went through the hoop. "He shoots, he scores! Bank shot bitches, woot woot!" he pumped his fists up in the air and thrust his pelvis back and forth.

"Amateur," Rika threw a basketball at Davis's head.

"Oww! You just messed up my victory dance!" Davis whined.

"That's not the only thing I'll mess up," Rika grit her teeth.

* * *

_Game 7: Duck Pond_

"Awww, aren't the ducks so cute?" Mimi gushed.

"They are! I want one," Jeri smiled.

"Hey girlies," a Betamon trudged it's way up to them. "Are you the people that Gennai sent?"

"Yes," Jeri said.

"Okay!" the Betamon walked them over to his booth. "Pick a fishing rod."

"I get the pink one!" Mimi yelled.

"That's fine cause I want the gold one," Jeri reached over to grab a fishing rod.

"The rods and the ducks are both magnetic," Betamon said. You girls will take turns fishing the ducks. For every duck you get, I open the cabinet that has the same number as the one written on the duck. The gold medal is in one of the cabinets, so if you get the duck that opens that cabinet, you win the game. So who wants to go first?"

"Me!" Mimi shot her hand up in the air.

"That's fine with me," Jeri fiddled with the magnet hanging off her fishing rod. Mimi walked over and cast her rod in the pool. "Mimi? What are you doing?" Jeri said, confused of why Mimi was avoiding the rubber ducks.

"I'm trying to get the pink duck," Mimi said casually. "Darn, I got green."

* * *

_Game 8: Mechanical Bul_l

"Oh, wow. That looks dangerous," Kari bit her nails as she watched a Pawnchessmon get flung over by the bull.

"That's nothing," Yolei said. "Besides, he'll be fine. All that armor will protect him."

"Are you sure?" Kari said.

"Who wants a chance to challenge the bull?" a Deputymon said.

"Me! I can take this bull down for sure!" Yolei cracked her knuckles.

"Okay little lady! All you have to do is stay on the bull for as long as possible," a Starmon said.

"Oh, that's nothing!" Yolei said as she hopped on to the bull. "I'm ready! Show me what you've got!"

"Okay!" the Deputymon punched a big red button, which started the bull.

One hour later...

"Wow, Yolei. You've been on that bill for a while," Kari commented.

"She broke the record for most time on the bull!" the Deputymon said.

One hour later...

"Yeehaw!" Yolei took her beret off, cowboy-style.

"Okay, this is getting old," the Starmon checked his watch. He walked over to the red button and slammed it with his fist. The bull shut down and stopped moving.

"Hey! What gives?!" Yolei yelled.

"Sorry, but it's time for other people to get a turn," the Deputymon said.

"Fine," Yolei grudgingly got up from the booth and stomped over to Kari.

"Your turn, pretty little lady," the Starmon waved Kari over.

"Oh boy," Kari gulped.

* * *

_Game 9: Kissing Booth_

"Ughhh," Zoe slammed her elbows on the counter and rested her head on her hands. "It's been two hours and no one's come to our booth!"

"Good," Izzy muttered.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Zoe sat up and looked at him.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he held up an issue of Popular Mechanics magazine.

"No wonder noboby's come to our booth!" Zoe sat up and glared at Izzy.

"What?" Izzy was getting agitated.

"Nobody wants to approach the booth when you look uninterested!" Zoe yelled.

"Well, I'm just playing hard to get," Izzy went back to read his magazine. "I think the real problem is the fact that you're scaring clients away with your desperation."

"You know what?!" Zoe got up from her booth and snatched the magazine out of Izzy's hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!" Izzy yelled.

"Well, not anymore!" Zoe chucked the magazine toward the candy apple booth across from them. The magazine fell into a vat of caramel.

"Are you kidding me?!" Izzy spazzed. "You can't just take other people's things and throw them wherever you please!"

"I can if it will get us some points!" Zoe clenched her teeth.

"Desperate," Izzy mumbled.

"What did you say?" Zoe grunted.

"Desperate," Izzy repeated. "If I looked up the definition of the word 'desperate' in a dictionary, your picture would be right next to it."

"Well if I looked up 'ginger memes' on Google, the first result that would pop up is a demotivational poster with your face on it, and underneath in captions it will say 'I got 99 problems but a soul ain't one of them'."

"Something tells me you've already seen it. Tai and Matt thought it would be funny if they uploaded that demotivation poster on the Internet. I guess it has more hits than I thought," Izzy shrugged.

"No soul! No soul!" Zoe shakily stood up on her stool and pointed at Izzy.

"Come on, no chit chatting!" a MarineAngemon said. "You guys won't be getting any kisses if you keep getting distracted!"

"That's just what I was just telling Izzy. He was reading a magazine on the job!" Zoe tattled.

"Well, I don't see a magazine around," the MarineAngemon said. "You have quite an imagination. If only you could use it to find a way to attract people to our booth."

"I am very attractive! People are just intimidated by my beauty!" Zoe yelled.

"*_Cough cough_* desperate *_cough cough_*," Izzy pounded on his chest.

"There goes that imagination again," the MarineAngemon shook its head and hovered behind them.

"This sucks," Zoe sighed. "Hey! You!" she hollered at a Beezlemon, his arm around a Rosemon. "Wanna kiss me?"

"Who is that crazy girl?" the Rosemon asked.

"I have no idea," the Beezlemon whispered. "Uh...I'm not interested in your offer," the Beezlemon winced at Zoe.

"Hey, how about a 2-for-1?" Zoe asked. "For only one ticket, you can kiss me and your girlfriend can kiss that," she pointed at Izzy.

"Did you just call me a 'that'?" Izzy said, offended.

"Shut up," Zoe shooed him away. "I'm trying to help us."

"I think we'll pass," the Rosemon cringed.

"Really? Really? Am I really that horrifying?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Yes," Zoe said.

"Let's get out of here," the Beezlemon talked through the side of his mouth. The Rosemon nodded and they dashed off.

"Waaaait! Where are you- hey, Kouichi!"

"Hey," he walked up to the booth.

"Wanna do me a favor?" Zoe said coyly.

"Depends," Kouichi shrugged. "What is it?"

"Kiss me," Zoe said.

"What?!" Kouichi dropped the stuffed animal he had in his arms and he jumped back. "Did you just ask me to kiss you?!"

"Yes. No one's come to kiss us, and I need to get more kisses than Izzy in order to win this challenge," Zoe explained. "Also, it would be heartbreaking if I had the same score as Izzy, especially when it's a big fat goose egg," she made a circle with her hand.

"Hey!" Izzy snapped.

Kouichi picked up his stuffed cat and walked backwards. "Sorry, but I wouldn't kiss you, even if our team depended on it. I gotta go," he ran away.

"Someone needs to learn how to take one for the team!" Zoe yelled after him. "Also, you look gay carrying around that ridiculously huge cat!"

"Desperate," Izzy said.

"For the last time, I am not desperate!" Zoe pulled the stool underneath from Izzy and began hitting him with it.

"Oww! Oww! Stop it, you freak!" Izzy said in between beatings.

"_Attention, attention! There are lost children in the park! Tai, Sora, Zoe, Joe, Kari, Jeri, Kouichi, Koji, Takato, Rika, Marcus, Matt, Yolei, Mimi, Izzy, TK, Kazu, Kenta and Davis! Your guardian, Gennai, is waiting at the Lost and Found for you_," the speakers blared.

"I guess you guys have to go. That's good since you guys couldn't get ANY digimon to kiss you," the MarineAngemon shrugged.

"Finally," Zoe said.

"Tell me about it," Izy staryed to puck bimself up fron the floor. "I don't have to work with a lunatic like you."

*_WHACK_* Zoe hit him with the stool. The stool broke apart and Izzy fell back. "I might consider what words you choose to say when you're around me," she twirled a leg of the stool like a baton.

"Crazy girl," Izzy muttered. Zoe smashed the other stool on his back.

"I heard that!"

* * *

Kari and Yolei were the first ones to get to the Lost and Found. "Wow, how did you stay on the bull that long?" Kari asked.

"Oh, it was easy," Yolei said. "I just pretended like I was humping it. It felt pretty nice."

"Right," Kari looked away from Yolei.

"Hey guys!" Davis waved at them. "I totally kicked ass!"

"He means he totally got his ass kicked," Rika smirked.

"Whatever," Davis said in a Valley Girl accent. "Talk to the hand!"

"Uhhh," Tai groaned. Marcus was carrying him on his back.

"For a guy that lost an eating contest, you sure are heavy," Marcus remarked.

"You cheated," Tai slurred.

"No I didn't. Since when is stating the facts considered cheating?" Marcus said.

"Hi guys!" Mimi ran up to them. Jeri walked in her normal pace.

"Sup?" Davis said.

"Look at this pretty metal I won," Mimi held up it up for the others to see.

"Yeah, it was kinda funny," Jeri sounded like she was gonna hold back tears. "The only thing she cared about was getting the pink duck, cause it's her favorite color. Who knew it was the winning one."

"Hey Takato, hey Matt!" Yolei waved. "What happened to you, Matt? Why are you wet? And Takato, why are you carrying two cakes?"

"Fell in pool," Matt shivered.

"I walked the planks just fine. Cake anyone?" Takato handed a chocolate cake to Marcus.

"Get that thing away from me," Tai groaned. "I can't...I don't feel good."

"Gah! If you're gonna throw up, I don't want to carry you around!" Marcus dropped Tai on the floor.

"I don't even want to know," Yolei shook her head at a limping Kazu.

"Just teaching him a lesson," Koji said.

"You didn't have to beat me up!" Kazu said.

"Hmph," Koji shrugged and walked away from him.

"Hey guys," Sora said as she pushed TK in a wheelbarrow.

"TK! What happened to you?!" Matt yelled.

"He kicked the soccer balls so hard, they bounced off the wall and hit him back," Sora explained.

"I got one goal though," TK said.

"You idiot!" Davis screeched. "You should have done Shoot the Hoops like we told you to!"

"I should have listened," TK yawned.

"Zoe, I know it's a kissing booth and all, but you didn't have to get all S&M on Izzy," Marcus joked.

"Please! It was more like I was teaching him a lesson!" Zoe crossed her arms and turned her nose up in the air. Izzy's knees gave out and he collapsed on the floor.

"I really really don't want to know," Yolei shook her head at Kouichi and Kenta. They were both dripping wet.

"I got you a cat cause you know, your digimon was a cat and yeah, so here," Kouichi handed his stuffed animal to Kari.

"Awww, thanks! That's so sweet," Kari hugged him. Feet away, Zoe was fuming.

"Yo broad," Kenta put his hand on Zoe's shoulders. "I didn't know your ears were chimneys cause there's a lot of smoke coming from them."

"Shut up!" Zoe smacked him in the face.

"Damn, girl. You don't have to hit on me!" Kenta clutched his face.

"You moron!" Zoe slapped him again.

"Stop hitting on Kenta," Gennai stood behind Zoe. "Okay, it looks like everyone's here! So let's count the medals! Who won the eating contest?"

"Right here, buddy," Marcus flashed his gold medal.

"Awesome," Gennai scribbled in his pink notepad. "Who won what?"

Everyone started speaking at the same time. "Hold up, hold up! Let me just write this down and tally up the scores!

**Total Markdown**

Hot dog eating contest- BAMFs

Horse Derby- KAFP

Cake Walk- KAFP

Skeeball- BAMFs

Soccer Kick- KAFP

Shoot the Hoops- KAFP

Duck Pond- BAMFs

Mechanical Bull- BAMFs

**Total Scores: **

**Kick-Ass Firepower: 4 points**

**The BAMFs: 4 points**

"Whoa whoa whoa! What happened with the Kissing Booth?"

"We didn't get anyone to kiss us," Zoe huffed.

"I wonder why," Gennai muttered. "So you're telling me both of you lost?"

"Yeah," Zoe grit her teeth.

"But that makes us tied!" Sora said. "How are we gonna going to decide which team wins the challenge?"

"Good question," Gennai rubbed his chin. "How about you flip for it?"

"Okay," Kazu did a backflip. "Beat that suckas!"

"That's not what I meant," Gennai said. "I meant this," he pulled a quarter out of his robe. "Pick a side and the one that shows face up gets to avoid elimination.

"Tails!" Mimi blurted.

"GENNAI!" the Gotsumon ran up to him, pulling Joe by the wrist.

"Dammit! Don't tell me Joe did something wrong," Gennai groaned.

"No, no! He actually did a good job selling tickets. He sold more tickets than everyone else!" the Gotsumon said.

"Here's my medal," Joe handed his medal to Gennai.

"Hmmm, I guess that settles it," Gennai shrugged. "Kick-Ass Firepower! You win again! Badass Motherfuckers...you guys lost two times in a row. Good way to start a team, right? Campfire Ceremonies it is for you!"

"But that's not fair! The other team had more games!" Matt protested.

"Hush hush," Gennai shooed Matt away. "Don't be a sore loser!"

"But I'm-"

"Matt, stop being a whiner," Gennai said. "Just accept the fact your team lost!"

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies_

"Well, well, well," Gennai paced around the campfire. "It's down to the four people who lost their games. Who will be safe from tonight's ceremony?" he paused.

"Come on! The suspense is killing meee!" Davis rocked back and forth in his log.

"Here, I'll ease it up. Davis, you're safe for one more week," Gennai said. "Now only three remain...Kenta. You also dodged elimination. Gotta admit, you spraying your water gun at Kouichi was hilarious!"

"Phew," Kenta wiped his forehead.

"Now, it's brother versus brother. One brother couldn't keep his balance. The other brother ended up being the goalie...either way, they have have really bad coordination. Now the tricky part is deciding who gets to board the Loser Cruiser," Gennai circled around Matt and TK.

"Matt," Gennai paused. "Say goodbye to your brother because he's the one who got voted out!"

"What?! Why me?" TK was shocked.

"Easy," Matt said. "This was not a good time for you to try a sport!"

"He's right," Davis said. "If I played soccer, we would have won! Thanks for screwing things up!"

"Yeah, and you're basically a casualty to our team. We can't have someone like you on our team if we wanna win. We had to save your ass in the last challenge because you couldn't swim," Yolei explained.

"Also, what doofus ends up hitting himself with the soccer ball?" Kazu sneered. "Every. Single. Time."

"Okay , okay," Gennai said. "No more kind words, it's time for TK to go now! Shoo, shoo!"

"Okay," TK shuffled away.

"Now who wants some cake?" Marcus held up his chocolate cake.

"Nooo," Tai barfed on the fire.

* * *

_Last Words_...

"Gotta throw the whole me getting hit with the soccer ball thing...and me not knowing how to swim in my face. If you ask me, that soccer game was rigged!" TK shook his head. "Who knew this is how I'd be voted off? I wish I got voted off for a cool reason, like I did something really badass...wait, that didn't make sense. I wish I won the damn competition!"


	13. Don't Be Stupidstitious

**Lily's Contribution Corner: Hey guys, Lily here. Just wanted to tell you that this episode is brought to you by Mousettez and Brother's Construction Co., where all employees are certified by the renowned Bob the Builder! Schedule a consultation online and get 15% off. Mousettez and Brother's, the only construction company you can trust to use a hammer correctly! Like us on Facebook for more info!**

* * *

**Recap: **Gennai brings the kids to an amusement park only to have them play or work at different booths. Joe is stuck ripping tickets by himself while everyone else competes against each other to win gold medals for their teams. Marcus effortlessly wins an eating contest, Yolei breaks the record of staying on the mechanical bull, and Kazu gets a perfect score in skeeball. Just as the BAMFs think they have a good chance of winning, Kick-Ass Firepower uses their unique skills to win some matches. Who said that working at a bakery didn't give anyone special skills, Takato? Both teams came to a draw, but it's Joe's ticket-ripping gig that breaks the tie and Kick-Ass Firepower wins! In the end, TK's eliminated because he got too many kicks in the face.

* * *

**Don't Be Stupid-Stitious!**

"Are you guys sure we should be spying on them?" Jeri whispered.

"If you want to be a goody two-shoes, then go eat your pork and beans with Mrs. Kamiya," Zoe shooed her away.

"Darn it!" Mrs. Kamiya jumped as another can of pork and beans landed in the fire and exploded.

"Never mind, I'm happy here," Jeri said.

"Then shut up!" Zoe whispered.

"Looks like Kazu made it through," Takato sighed.

"That little cheatbag!" Koji clenched his fists.

"Marcus is safe," Kari reported.

"That cheatbag!" Tai grit his teeth.

"Now how on earth can Marcus cheat in an eating contest?" Joe shook his head at Tai.

"He made me throw up," Tai growled.

"How did he do that?" Sora asked.

"He mentioned my mom and...Gennai doing...you know," Tai cringed.

"That's your damn fault you can't keep food down," Jeri said through her puppet.

"Jeri!" Kari's jaw dropped.

"What? That wasn't me, it was Rufus!" Jeri protested.

"Wow, 'Rufus' sure acts like Terriermon," Takato said.

"I know, doesn't he? I keep telling Henry that Terriermon was a bad influence on Rufus, but he just shook his head and said he didn't know what I was talking about," Jeri said.

"Shh, shh!" Zoe slapped Kouichi on the arm.

"Owww, what was that for?" Kouichi moved his arm away.

"So it's between Matt and TK," Kari squinted through the bush.

"I hope Matt goes home. He's more of a threat to us than TK is," Tai commented.

"I hope so too," Kari nodded.

"Is it because you and TK are lovers?" Koji smirked, then glanced over at his brother to see his reaction.

"No," Kari said. "We're just friends." Koji looked at the corner of his eyes to see Kouichi sigh in relief, and shook his head.

"What are you morons doing?" Rika walked up to the bush.

"Shhh! You're gonna blow up our cover!" Zoe whispered.

"What cover?" Rika raised her eyebrow at Zoe.

"We're spying on the other team's Campfire Ceremonies," Jeri said casually.

"That's stupid," Rika scoffed. "Gennai let me sit at the fire log behind Davis."

"He let you watch the Ceremonies?" Kouichi asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Rika shrugged. "It was boring so I came back here."

"Nooo! Why TK?" Tai cried out.

"Hi, can I help you guys?" Gennai snuck up behind them.

"How'd you get here so fast?" Sora gasped.

"Hi Gennai! We're fine! We were just looking for berries to eat," Takato fibbed. "Look, I found one already! It's a popcorn seed!" he pulled out an acorn.

"Wow, that must be the hugest popcorn seed in the world!" Joe gasped.

"Don't be an idiot," Koji slapped the acorn out of Takato's hand.

"Okay, I hope you guys have eaten lot of popcorn seeds, because we're ready to move on the next challenge!" Gennai smiled.

"What? You mean now?" Jeri said.

"Yes now!" Gennai put his hands on his hips. "Now go join the other team!"

"Okay," the team reluctantly got up from the bushes and shuffled their way towards the other team.

"Why are you guys wearing backpacks?" Davis asked Kazu and Kenta.

"You'll see," Kazu grinned.

* * *

_Camera Confessions.._.

"The thing I hate about having Kazu and Kenta on our team is that I have this bad feeling- scratch that! I have a bad, bad, bad, bad feeling that those guys are gonna get us in serious trouble," Matt rubbed his temples. "Just the thought of those two give me a headache!"

* * *

"Let's go," Gennai pressed his finger to his lips as the teams followed him.

"Why did you lead us to the fence outside the amusement park?" Izzy sounded irritated.

"Hold on," Gennai looked at his glow-in-the-dark watch. "Okay, now!"

"Now what?" Joe asked stupidly.

"Climb the fence!" Gennai grit his teeth. When everyone made it to the other side of the fence, Gennai flourished his hands. "Tadaaaa! We made it!"

"Whoop de doo, we snuck into a theme park for no reason," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Oh no, there are a couple of reasons," Gennai wagged his finger at Rika. "First of all, the amusement park is closed. Second, doing everything is funner in the dark."

"*_Cough cough_* That's what she said *_Cough cough_*, Koji coughed into his sleeve.

"Cute," Gennai smirked. "Anyways, do you know what today is?"

"The 8th of Stupid?" Yolei scoffed.

"Close but no cigar. If you check the calendar, it is now officially Friday the 13th!" he tapped on his watch.

"Aaahhh! Friday the 13th!" Joe screamed and held on to Sora.

"Don't be a scaredy cat," Marcus laughed.

"Besides, it's scientifically proven that superstitions nothing more than fictitious. It's all psychological," Izzy crossed his arms.

"Uh, English please?" Mimi scratched her head.

Izzy sighed. "Superstitions aren't true. It's all in your mind. They're only real if you believe they are."

"That's where your wrong, my ginger-faced genius," Gennai flashed a sinister smile. "If you look behind you, you'll see a haunted house. For this challenge, you guys will travel through the creepy mansion all the way to the exit in the back of the house. On the way to the exit, you will encounter a lot of superstitions that can trigger bad luck, so try to avoid them. At the end of the house will be a giant wishbone, where you teams must pull and break apart. The team that gets the smallest end of the wishbone will be sent to the lovely Campfire Ceremonies. Hopefully, if things go like I expected, we can throw the Campfire Ceremonies before dawn. That would be super awesome to have two ceremonies in one night," Gennai bounced in place. "Now what are you waiting for? Pick an entrance and get going!" he pointed to the two doors in front of the house.

"I guess it's time to face our doom," Takato gulped.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

Everyone stepped into the dimly lit house and looked horrified at the strange pictures hanging on the wall. "Ewww, what's that supposed to be? It's creepy!" Mimi grimaced.

"That's just a blue square on a white background," Yolei sighed.

"Oh," Mimi blushed.

"Everyone, just remember to stay calm. Superstitions aren't real," Izzy said.

"But just in case," Kazu dug through his backpack. "I made onion necklaces for everyone!"

"That's for when we meet up with vampires," Kenta nodded.

"I thought garlic was supposed to do ward off vampires," Matt put on his necklace.

"Garlic, onion, it's all the same thing," Kenta brushed off.

"Riiight," Matt made a face.

"Where did you get these anyways?" Marcus held his onion necklace in his arms.

"We snuck into the kitchen because we wanted to see if there was chocolate pudding in the fridge," Kazu said in a low voice.

"By the way, there was only tapioca, yuck!" Kenta stuck out his tongue. "Anyways, we heard Gennai discussing this challenge with Mrs. Kamiya. We got a little scared so we stole some onions and made necklaces out of them," Kenta whispered.

"So you basically cheated," Yolei raised her eyebrow at them.

"Cheating is such an ugly word," Kazu put his hand to his chest, insulted. "It's more like giving us a head start. Aaaand, we saved us from Mrs. Kamiya's next creation: Sugared Onion Cheesecake."

"You guys are lifesavers! Superheroes! Miracle workers!" Davis wrapped his arms around the boys.

"I wouldn't go that far," Izzy muttered.

"Izzy, why aren't you wearing your necklace?" Mimi tugged on his sleeve.

"Because superstitions aren't real," Izzy crossed his arms.

"But it wouldn't hurt to put it on," Davis said.

"Oh come on! If superstitions are real, then we're prepared. If they aren't, then fine. We don't have much to lose. Just wear the damn onions, or I'll beat you to a pulp," Marcus threatened.

"No way in hell," Izzy shook his head.

"But if they're real and we get bad luck, then it will be all your fault just because you didn't wear your necklace and then we'll lose the challenge and we'll vote you off because you're a big stupid meanie jerk that won't wear your necklace!" Mimi started to cry.

"Okay, shut up," Izzy huffed. "I'll put the friggin' necklace on."

"Thank you," Kazu stomped his foot. "We worked so hard on those! Now we can get going!"

"With these onion necklaces, what could go wrong?" Yolei said excitedly.

"Aaahhh! Black cat, black cat!" Davis jumped on Marcus.

"Relax. It's not bad luck if you jump over the cat!" Kenta said. "Techincally, if you jump over the cat, the cat can't cross your path and you won't get bad luck. See?" Kenta jumped over the path.

"Makes sense," Davis let go of Marcus and jumped over the cat.

"Geez, with that logic, you guys should be lawyers," Matt muttered.

"Hurry guys!" Kazu hollered. Everyone but Izzy jumped over the cat.

"Izzy! Get your ass over here or I'll punch your face so hard in, you'll look like a spoon!" Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"I think I can take that. God knows I've been beaten up enough times," Izzy said, unfazed.

"It's gonna be all your fault if we lose!" Mimi whined. "And I don't wanna lose!"

"Okay, okay," Izzy reluctantly stepped over the cat. "This is stupid."

"Stop being such a bad sport!" Yolei smacked him on the back of his head. "Nobody cares what you think. Just do what Kazu and Kenta say, dammit!"

"Look Izzy," Matt crossed his arms. "I think this whole thing is dumb too, but I'm going along with this. This is the only way we'll get these idiots to shut up."

"HEY!" everyone yelled in unison.

"What? It's true," Matt shrugged. "Izzy is the only guy being difficult, and we're wasting time by bothering with him when we could just leave him behind. Pretty idiotic, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess you have a point," Davis nodded.

"See?" Matt said.

"Fine..." Izzy rolled his eyes. "But superstitions still aren't true."

"Oh yeah?" Kazu said. "Then why is there a huge ladder in the middle of the hallway?"

"Isn't walking underneath ladders bad luck?" Davis shook.

"I don't think there's a way around it, unless we climb it and jump down," Marcus rubbed his chin.

"Nonononono! I'm scared of heights!" Mimi frantically shook her head.

"Calm down, calm down!" Kenta fiddled with the collar of his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Davis asked.

"Tada! Rabbit's foot!" Kenta showed everyone the rabbit's foot hanging on his chain. "With the power of the rabbit's foot, combined with the onions, we can walk under the ladder and be fine!"

"Uh, Kenta? Why is the rabbit's fur purple?" Yolei asked.

"Oh, we just cut off the foot of Gennai's stuffed animal," Kenta breezily said.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" everyone screamed.

"It's okay! I don't think Gennai will even notice," Kazu said.

"These guys are going to get us in serious trouble," Matt moaned.

"Okay, people! If we hold hands with each other, the luck of the rabbit's foot will be transmitted to everyone! I go first and you guys follow!" Kenta said.

"This whole thing is so stupid," Matt muttered.

"Tell me about it. I don't think Kenta even knows what he's saying," Izzy said as he gripped on to Matt's hand.

When everyone made it through, the ladder collapsed.

"Ahhh!" Mimi shrieked. "I thought the rabbit's foot was supposed to give us good luck!"

"It did. We're lucky that the ladder didn't break on us," Kazu said.

"That's true. That was one close call!" Marcus smirked.

"_Hey_!"

"Did you guys hear that?" Yolei stuttered.

"Yeah," Mimi tightly grabbed Izzy by his shoulders and hid behind him.

"Come on Meems, get a grip," Matt hissed.

"She does. On me..." Izzy flatly said.

"Please don't tell me that we're gonna have to deal with a ghost," Marcus growled. "I just want to get this over with."

"_Hello?! Is anyone here?!_"

"Hi! We're here! Are you a ghost?" Davis called down the corridor.

"_Good. I'm coming for you!_"

"Davis! You moron!" Yolei hissed. "Now the ghost is gonna kill us and we'll die!" she panicked.

"Guys? I hear footsteps," Mimi's voice trembled.

"I hear them too," Marcus looked around him.

"Come on," Matt scoffed. "It's just sound effects! Very good sound effects..." his voice trailed off.

"There you are!"

"Ahhhh! Demon be gone!" Kenta held his fingers in a crucifix and held them up in front of Lily's face.

"Nice, kid," she frowned.

"Heh heh, we thought there were ghosts here?" Kazu laughed nervously.

"Humph, I don't blame you," Lily said. "This place is pretty creepy if I do say so myself. I guess the crew really went all out for this challenge. Anyways, I was just looking for my Red Sox cap. Have any of you guys seen it?"

"A red socks cap? What's that?" Mimi made a face.

"Ignore her," Izzy shook his head.

"Nope, we haven't seen it," Marcus shrugged.

"Damn...I can't remember where I left it. If I can't find it, I'm taking it out of Gennai's paycheck," Lily grumbled. "Anyways, good luck with the challenge," she walked off in the opposite direction.

"Don't worry, we've got plenty of good luck!" Kenta kissed his rabbit's foot. The team kept on walking until Mimi saw a mirror.

"Ugh, talk about bad hair day!" she looked at herself in the mirror and patted her hair in place.

"Your hair looks fine," Izzy groaned.

"Seriously," Yolei stomped her foot. "Can we just get out of here?"

"Wait, I wanna check my hair out too!" Davis peered into the mirror. "My hair's not big enough!"

Suddenly the mirror exploded into little pieces.

"Damn it! This bastard son-of-a-bitch glass is stuck to me!" Marcus pulled shards of glass out of his arms.

"What do you guys have to say about this?" Matt glared at Kazu and Kenta.

"Sure, the mirror broke, but it's not like we broke it so we're fine, right?" Kazu looked at Kenta.

"I'm not sure," Kenta bit his lip.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"I feel like we're in an episode of Scooby Doo," Tai said.

"How the hell is this like Scooby Doo?" Rika scoffed.

"For one thing, we're a couple of kids wandering in a haunted house," Tai explained.

"That's true," Takato gently snapped the band of his goggles.

"Then we've got like the whole cast of Scooby Doo and then some. We've got the two hot people who fuck each other, the ugly chick, the stoner guy and his equally stoner dog," Tai explained.

"Oooh, is someone trying to say that you and Sora are the hot people?" Rufus said.

"Bad!" Jeri clamped her hands over Rufus's mouth.

"Besides we all know who the fuck buddies are. *_Cough cough_* Kouichi *_cough cough*_ Kari *_cough cough_*," Koji jerked his thumb toward Kari and Kouichi. Kouichi turned red, but Kari looked completely oblivious.

"Ooooh! What would I be?" Jeri asked.

"Hey, look over there!" Tai threw a shiny coin down the hallway. Jeri immediately dashed after it.

"Why'd you do that for?" Sora asked.

"I don't want her to be heartbroken...or angry, when I say she and Rufus are Shaggy and Scooby. She can be pretty scary," Tai bit his lip.

"Jeri is off her rocker," Joe twirled his finger next to his head.

"Do me! Do me!" Zoe jumped up and down in excitement.

"Ewww," Koji made a face.

"Not like that!" Zoe smacked him. "I meant to ask which character I would be!"

"Well, since dog is already taken, you would be the ugly chick. It's almost the same thing," Rika picked at her wristbands.

"You're such a bitch!" Zoe stomped her foot.

"You would know. After all, you're a dog," Rika smirked.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Zoe lunged after Rika but Tai blocked her.

"Hey, I like chick fights as much as the other straight guys do, but you guys need to get along...or just leave each other alone!" Tai said, shielding Rika.

"He's right," Sora said. "We should be making our way out of here, with as little bad luck as possible!"

"D-d-d-did you say bad luck?" Joe whimpered.

"Yeah," Kari said. "That is what this challenge is about."

"Ahhhh! Get me out of hereee!" Joe pressed himself against the wall and clawed it.

"Stop it," Tai pulled Joe away.

"Besides, there is no such thing as bad luck. Only stupid people believe in crap like that," Koji said.

"What do you mean by that?" Jeri said.

"When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer," Koji shrugged.

"So superstition ain't the way?" Tai said.

"Did you guys just have a Stevie Wonder moment?" Takato asked.

"What?" Koji made a face.

"Never mind," Takato blushed and looked down at the floor.

"We're gonna lose, we're gonna lose for sure!" Joe panicked.

"Stop saying that!" Sora yelled.

"Look here! A four-leaf clover!" Kari picked a clover from the ground.

"K-K-Kari?" Joe stuttered.

"What is it?" Kari said, rolling the stem of the clover with her fingers.

"That's a five-leave clover," Kouichi said softly.

"Oh, what do you know?" Kari counted the leaves. "There are five leaves."

"Get that thing away from me!" Joe screamed.

"What's his deal?" Kari said.

"Five-leave clovers are bad luck," Zoe shook her head.

"Here," Kari ripped one of the leaves off. "Now we've got a happy-go-lucky four-leaf clover!"

"I don't think that's how it works," Kouichi quietly said.

"Come on!" Koji squeezed his head. "There is no such thing as bad luck! They're all stupid superstitions!"

"Let's think like Koji," Sora said. "Even if most of us know that these superstitions are true, we have to pretend like they're not. If we think like him, there's nothing to be afraid of."

"I'm not sure about that," Takato bit his lip.

"This is dumb," Rika shook her head. "The only thing I'm scared of is that the other team is probably smarter than our team."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tai yelled.

"With all of this idiotic talking, I wish I were with Kazu and Kenta now. They're starting to sound like Harvard scholars compared to you guys," Rika turned her back to the team and walked down the hallway.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, acting like you're too cool for us?!" Zoe growled and chased after her.

"Yeah! Wait up for the rest of us! Whether you like it or not, we're part of a team and you're just gonna have to suck it up," Tai ran up to Rika.

"Don't leave me here by myself!" Joe closed his eyes and blindly ran toward the team.

"Joe! Watch out! There's a giant salt shaker in front of you!" Takato yelled.

"What?!" Joe opened his eyes, but it was too late. He crashed into it and a lot of salt poured out.

Everyone but Koji and Rika gasped. "That's really bad luck!" Jeri said.

"Ahhh! What did I do? Wait, I can fix this!" Joe kneeled down on the salt. "All I have to do is throw the salt over my left shoulder? Or is it my right? Oh no! I forgot!" Joe frantically threw the salt behind both shoulders.

"Let's just get out of here," Tai tapped his foot, clearly irritated.

"Okay," Joe frowned.

"Just watch out for that china cabinet behind you," Kari said. "Those plates look so pretty."

"Really? I wanna see," Joe began to get up until he bumped into the cabinet. The china fell out and shattered on the ground.

"Joe!" Sora yelled.

"Breaking dishes is bad luck," Kouichi said.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry guys!" Joe panicked.

"Okay, here's the plan! Try not to bump into anything! This applies to everyone," Tai pointed at his whole group.

"I can try," Joe pushed up his glasses.

They walked along smoothly until Kouichi pulled Koji by the elbow. "What are you doing?" Koji shook away from his brother's grip.

"If you step on on a crack, you break your mother's back!" Kouichi looked at Koji with wide eyes.

"Really?" Koji smirked. "I wonder if that's true..." he jumped on the crack several times.

* * *

_In a world far, far away..._

"Ohhhh, my back!" Ms. Kimura screamed as her back bent over backwards, "Make it stop! This pain's gonna kill me!"

* * *

"Knock it off!" Kouichi pushed Koji to the floor.

"Yeah, let's move it!" Tai yelled.

"Oooh, that's pretty," Sora picked up a gold, heart-shaped button.

"Back in Italy, people believe that picking up a button on the ground means you'll have a new friendship," Zoe said.

"Really? That's cool," Sora admiringly looked at the button.

"Whatever," Koji crossed his arms behind his head. "While you guys believe in these stupid omens, I'm gonna keep heading down the hallway."

"Ditto," Rika strolled down the hallway with Koji.

"Get back here!" Takato yelled.

"No," Rika put her hands on her hips and walked with Koji.

"I don't need you to follow me down the hallway. I can do fine by myself," Koji snorted.

"Then go ahead," Rika shoved him so hard, he fell face first down on the ground.

"Wow, you're pretty badass," Koji said in admiration.

"Well, I don't care what you think," Rika stepped over him and sat on a rocking chair.

"Hey! We're supposed to stick together!" Tai ran up to them, the team following suit.

"You guys take too long," Koji got up and kept walking down the hallway, until he tripped on a pair of sneakers. "Okay, who put that there?" Koji picked the shoes and placed them on a table.

"Take those shoes off the table!" Jeri gasped.

"What? Don't tell me that putting shoes on the table is bad luck!" Koji crossed his arms.

"It is," Kouichi said.

"You're all being ridiculous! Wake me up when you guys get a touch of reality," Koji hopped on the table and laid down.

"Koji!" Zoe pushed him off the table.

"Seriously? You can't do anything without it being bad luck," Koji rubbed his back. "Look, I'll prove to you that there is no such thing as bad luck!" he hobbled over to an umbrella rack.

"Please don't tell me what you're going to do," Joe's voice squeaked.

"What are you talking about?" Koji flashed everyone a sinister smile as he opened the umbrella.

"Koji!" Sora screamed.

"Bad luck, bad luck, I don't give a fuck about bad luck," Koji chanted, circling around Joe.

"Enough!" Tai smacked the umbrella out of Koji's hands. "Rika, get up!"

"Fine," Rika got up from her rocking chair.

"Rika! Stop that chair!" Zoe screamed.

"What for?" Rika scoffed.

"Empty rocking chairs are bad luck!" Kouichi yelled.

"Okay, I'll make it stop moving!" Rika held onto the rocking chair until it stopped moving. "Happy now?"

"Yes, we are," Takato sighed. "Oh, what's this lump? It's been bugging me all night," Takato dug through his pocket and pulled out an acorn.

"Then just leave it behind," Tai huffed.

"Okay," Takato shrugged.

"Ahhh! Die, bug, dieeee!" Joe screamed.

"What now?" Tai grit his teeth.

"This ladybug's on my hand!" Joe kept trying to slap the ladybug off.

"Don't kill it! It's good if ladybugs land on you," Zoe said.

"Really?" Joe stopped slapping his hand. "Does that mean I did something right?"

"Yes, yes you did," Sora rested her arm on Joe's shoulder.

"I think our luck's gonna change for the better! Look here," Tai pulled a horseshoe that was hanging off the wall. "We totally got it in the bag now! Let's show the other team how lucky we are!"

"Yayyy!" the team cheered.

"Does this mean these idiots will shut up now?" Rika muttered.

"Who knows?" Koji put his hands in his pockets as he and Rika casually strolled along behind their team.

* * *

_Wishbone Meeting..._

"Hello everyone! About time you guys are here! It's two in the morning, so we've got no time to waste," Gennai clapped his hands.

"What's up with those?" Takato pointed to the ropes attached to the ends of the wishbone. Each rope had ten belts hanging from it.

"Oh, these?" Gennai held up one of the belts.

"Yes, what else would we be talking about?" Matt huffed.

"You guys will buckle yourselves up so that it makes it easier for you to pull the ropes," Gennai smiled. "And more fun to see the other team fall even harder," he mumbled.

"What did you say?" Jeri asked.

"Nothing, nothing! Just strap yourselves on and pull the ropes until the wishbone breaks. The team who gets the bigger piece of the wishbone wins the challenge!" Gennai said.

"Okay, let's do this! It's fighting time!" Marcus shot his fist up in the air.

"If we want to win, Marcus should be in the back of the line and the smaller people in the front," Izzy said.

"Why?" Mimi asked.

"If Marcus was in the front, and if the other team pulled the rope hard enough, the rest of us would fall over and be completely useless. It's better if the smaller people were in front, so they can pull the rope, and Marcus could be the anchor."

"That's probably be the smartest thing you said so far," Kazu said.

"Thanks..." Izzy flatly said.

"Huddle, huddle," Tai motioned to his group.

"What for?" Koji said.

"We need to come up with a strategy!" Tai hissed.

"What for? With lady luck on our side, we'll win!" Kari said.

"Good point," Tai smiled. "Let's buckle up!"

The teams fastened their belt and began to pull their ropes.

"Come on!" Zoe grunted.

"We're trying," Jeri whimpered.

"Marcus! Pull harder!" Yolei screamed.

"Just give me a minute," Marcus took one his hands off the rope and shook his arm. After that, he grabbed the rope and and effortlessly pulled it over his head.

"Whoaaaa!" everyone screamed. The wishbone broke and everyone toppled over.

Gennai examined the wishbones. "BAMFs wins the challenge! Congrats! Maybe you guys aren't screw-ups after all!"

"What?! That's not fair!" Joe whined.

"Yeah! We've got a horseshoe for crying out loud!" Tai held up the horseshoe hanging up from his chain.

"Really?" Gennai looked at the horseshoe. "I'm sorry, but it's only good luck if the ends point upwards."

"Damn it!" Takato yelled.

"On the bright side, you guys will get to sit by the cozy campfire and eat marshmallows, well everyone except one person. Sounds fun, right?" Gennai said.

"What a ripoff!" Tai took the horseshoe off his chain and threw it aside.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"We probably could have won if Joe wasn't so clumsy!" Zoe crossed her arms.

* * *

"I hope that Koji believes in bad luck now," Sora said.

* * *

"This whole thing is stupid. Everyone blames it on bad luck, but it was only Tai bossing us around," Rika said. "If he shut his big mouth up, then we wouldn't have any problem getting through the hallway without bumping into crap."

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies.._.

"Whaddya know? It's between Tai and Joe," Gennai said. "If I'm correct, Tai made the team lose because..." Gennai squinted his eyes to read a slip of paper. "He has a big mouth. And Joe...you're beyond repair, but I already knew that."

"What?!" Joe shrieked.

"And Joe, because you're a hot mess, you're going home on the Loser Cruiser! Bye bye, my lovely toy," Gennai squeezed Joe tightly and patted his head. "I'm gonna miss you so so much!" he kissed Joe on the cheek. "Now go, before I get all emotional!"

"Ahhhhh! Thank God!" Joe dashed off through the woods.

* * *

_Last Words.._.

"Wanna know why I'm such a wreck?" Joe pulled out one of Gennai's glamour photos. "This is why! This," he smacked the photo, "Is why!"

"Weren't you a basket case before this show?" the cameraman asked.

"Gahhhh! That's not the point! The important thing is that Gennai scarred me for life! For life!"


	14. Island of Lost Pokemon

**Warning: If you are one of those hard-core Pokemon fans who get offended when people make fun of Pokemon, then you should skip this chapter. **

**You're probably wondering "Why would the beautiful, awesomely awesome Lily say something like that?"**

**Well, I'll tell you why. I got into a heated debate with my cousin Connor over Digimon vs. Pokemon. Mind you, I've given Pokemon a chance, but it's not my cup of tea. On the other hand, Connor has never watched one episode of Digimon because he says it's a "Pokemon copycat". I asked him why he thinks Pokemon is better, and the only reason he could give me was: "Because it's more popular." So I googled "why is Pokemon better than Digimon," and the only thing that popped up was "it's more popular". BUT WHY?! To be brutally honest, I think Pokemon was made for 4-year-olds and it's soooo repetitve. Same mission, different Pokemon, and Team Rocket is defeated...AGAIN. And sorry to sound like a total Mimi, but all of these Pokemon start looking uglier and weirder the more evovled they are. ALL OF THEM.**

**So why did I write this chapter?**

**Out of revenge. Revenge on a 15-year-old boy. Pathetic, right?**

**Feel free to voice your opinion on this Pokemon vs. Digimon anime dilemma...and on the chapter too of course.**

***End of rant***

* * *

**Recap: **As if the contestants weren't tired enough from their last challenge, Gennai immediately sends them to a haunted house in the middle of the night. Inside the haunted house, the teams encounter traps that can trigger bad luck. Both teams have people who don't believe in superstitions, causing their skepticism to annoy everyone else. Luckily for the BAMFs, they're (mostly) prepared for what's to come. Kick-Ass Firepower isn't as lucky, considering they have to deal with difficult people. One team member goes out of his way to make bad luck happen, to prove to everyone else that bad luck isn't real. In the end, Joe's sent home packing because he's a klutzy scaredy-cat.

* * *

**Island Of Lost Pokemon**

"I guess that's all folks!" Gennai yawned as he put out the fire. "Now get some sleep. We're gonna need it for the next challenge!"

"What?!" Zoe shrieked. "This is inhumane! How can you keep making us go through all of these challenges when we don't have any time to rest?!"

"Calm down, Blondie!" Gennai said. "I'm letting you guys sleep in tonight."

"So you're saying we can just relax and sleep and there's no catch?" Sora asked.

"Yes, woman! Lily says you guys need to unwind, so you're all taking a little break to do whatever you want! Sleep, explore the woods, go fishing, whatever! But nothing too illegal, okay? By tomorrow afternoon, you better be ready for the next challenge! No complaining that I didn't give you enough time to relax!" Gennai said.

"Where are we going to sleep?" Kari asked.

"Outside, duh! Just pick a tree, any tree!" Gennai waved his arm around the woods.

"Seriously! This isn't the Hunger Games!" Rufus screamed.

"Jeri! I'm getting really tired of your smartmouth!" Gennai clenched his teeth.

"But I didn't say anything! It was Rufus, I swear!" Jeri protested.

"Sureee..." Koji rolled his eyes.

"Just for that, you guys are sleeping in the mud!" Gennai pointed to a mud puddle.

"What?!" the kids yelled.

"Please tell me you're joking!" Takato shivered.

"He is. At least he better be," Lily stomped over to Gennai.

"Hey Lily..." Gennai said nervously. "How are you doing?"

"Cut the crap! I thought you were going to tell the kids about the caravans!"

"Caravans?" Tai exclaimed.

"Yes! Since we'll be moving around Server Continent, I bought some RVs so that you guys have a place to stay while we travel," Lily said.

"Like gypsies?" Takato squealed.

"Pretty much," Lily shrugged.

"Oh my god, I love you!" Tai squeezed her tightly.

"Uh, thanks, kid?" Lily said. "Can you let go now? You're cutting off my circulation. "

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Tai let go of her and blushed.

"No problem, just don't do that again. Anyways, the caravans are right behind those bushes, so good night everyone!" Lily smiled. "And Gennai?"

"Yes?" he flinched.

"You are so lucky I don't fire you on the spot right now! I am the boss around here, not you! That means you do what I tell you to do!" Lily pulled out a spray bottle and squirted water at Gennai. "Bad dog! Bad!"

* * *

"Hey guys!" Tai popped out of the bushes.

"Ahhh!" Kenta and Kazu held on to each other. "Jesus you scared us!"

"Sorry. I'm just so excited! Lily got us caravans!" Tai ecstatically skipped around the logs.

"That's old news, buddy," Matt jerked his thumb at the two RVs behind him.

"Don't ruin it for him," Kari shook her head. "He's really psyched about this."

"Yippeee!" Tai leaped over Marcus.

"Hey! You almost kicked my face!" Marcus stood up.

"Whoo hoo! I'm so happy, I could die!" Tai yelled.

"I'll make that happen even quicker if you want!" Marcus threatened.

"Who wants s'mores?" Mrs. Kamiya called out.

"I do, I do!" Yolei raised her hand."Hey...why are the marshmallows green? And why does the chocolate look lumpy? And why do the graham crackers look like tree bark?"

"It's all organic! I mixed up the marshmallows with moss, then I froze some mud and cut them in squares, and the graham crackers really are tree bark," Mrs. Kamiya smiled.

"Uh...never mind. I don't want s'mores anymore. I'm allergic to moss, mud, and basically anything you make...," Yolei's voice trailed off.

"Okay then! Suit yourself," Mrs. Kamiya smiled and bit into one of her s'mores. "Mmmm, organic," she winced as she chewed on her snack. "It's an acquired taste, but it's healthy for you."

"I'm beat," Izzy yawned.

"I'm tired too. A guy like me needs to get his beauty sleep," Matt smirked.

"Then in your case, you need a lot of beauty sleep. A lot..." Rufus said.

"Ugh," Matt shook his head and walked to his caravan.

"Come on, everyone! We all should get to bed," Davis clapped his hands.

"I really don't want to agree with you, but you're right. I don't want to be awake when dawn comes," Rika yawned.

"Uh, okay? I guess..." Davis shrugged as he headed to his team's caravan.

* * *

"Hold up! There are five beds and 9 of us?" Takato rubbed his chin.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Count Dracula. Wanna teach us how to count to twenty now?" Koji scoffed.

"Stop being a dick," Rika shoved Koji out of the way and sat on an empty bed.

"Seriously, Koji," Kari sighed. "How are we gonna decide who gets the extra bed?"

"I nominate Jeri!" Zoe shot her hand up in the air.

"Me too," Sora nodded.

"What? Why?" Kouichi looked puzzled.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

I don't want to have to share a bed with Jeri...and I'm pretty sure no one else does either. She's just all around scary," Sora said.

* * *

"Uh..." Zoe was stumped. Sora subtly pointed at Jeri's puppet.

"Ohhhh," everyone nodded.

"Jeri, you can have the extra bed!" Tai said.

"Really?" Jeri squeaked.

"Yeah! Go ahead! You deserve it for being so crazy!" Takato blurted.

"Crazy sweet! It makes me wanna pinch your cheeks!" Kouichi laughed nervously.

"Too much," Koji whispered in Kouichi's ear.

"Yay!" Jeri plopped down on her bed.

"Phew, that was a close one!" Sora sighed.

* * *

"Oh man! We should have came here earlier! All the beds are taken!" Mimi whined.

"Hey, keep it down!" Marcus said groggily.

"How come you guys get to get your own beds?" Yolei kicked Matt.

"Cause we're bigger than you. Now shut up and let me sleep," Matt talked through his pillow.

"Jerkface!" Yolei licked her finger and stuck it in Matt's ear.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Matt abruptly sprung up from his bed and growled.

"Matt! The rest of us are trying to sleep!" Izzy turned on his light.

"She gave me a wet willie!" Matt screamed.

"Better him than Marcus," Mimi giggled.

"Hey, why don't you and Izzy share a bed?" Yolei loudly said in Davis's ear.

"Cause that's homo," Davis pointed at Kazu and Kenta. The boys were snuggling up against each other.

"Ugh, point taken!" Mimi winced. "So who sleeps with who?"

Davis frantically pointed at Yolei behind her back and shook his head.

"What's that Davis? Okay, if you insist," Mimi smirked as she nudged Izzy awake. "Can you move? I wanna sleep next to the window."

"Noooo!" Davis yelled.

"No what?" Yolei turned to Davis and stood akimbo.

"I just had a nightmare," Davis said.

"But you're awake," Yolei climbed into his bed.

"And I'll be awake for a loooong time," Davis muttered.

* * *

_*CLANG BOOM CLINKITY CLANG*_ "Wake up everyone! A new adventure awaits you!" Gennai slammed some cymbals together as he obnoxiously played the bagpipes.

"I feel hungover..." Jeri gripped her head.

"How do you know what being hungover's like?" Sora raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm a troubled girl," Jeri gently stroked her puppet.

"That's true," Tai muttered.

"And my dad owns a bar," Jeri said.

"It's not even the afternoon yet," Koji grumbled as he pulled a blanket over his head.

"Hey! You're hogging the blanket!" Kouichi yanked the blanket back from Koji.

"Guys, it doesn't matter," Kari said. "We have to get up anyways."

"_We have to get up anyway_s," Zoe said in a nasally voice.

"Are you making fun of me?" Kari said.

"No, I'm just repeating what you said," Zoe smirked and put on her hat.

"I didn't even have time to eat waffles!" Tai whined as he slid his arm through his jean leg.

"We don't have waffles," Takato rubbed his eyes.

"Now I'm even more pissed off," Tai grumbled.

"Don't wanna give you another reason to be mad, but you're putting your pants on wrong," Sora pointed to him.

"Ugh, figures...no wonder it was hard to put this shirt on. It's not even a shirt," Tai groaned, his head sticking out of a hole in the crotch of his jeans.

"We're definitely off to a good start," Koji muttered.

* * *

_*Snap, snap*_ "Hee hee!" "Shut up! We're too loud, we're gonna wake them up!" _*snap snap*_

"Huh?" Izzy sat up in bed, surprised to see Yolei, Davis, Kazu, and Kenta hovering over his bed. "What are you guys doing?!"

"Here," Yolei handed him a smartphone. Kazu and Kenta giggled.

"Aren't you guys so cuuuute?" Davis jeered. He showed Izzy several pictures of him and Mimi cuddling.

Izzy turned over to Mimi, who was still sleeping peacefully. "When did you guys take these?!" his face turned red.

"Maybe fifteen minutes ago?" Kenta said. "It was going well until you started to wake up."

"Izzy and Mimi sitting in a tree..." Kazu began to sing.

"What?! No way!" Marcus quickly jumped out of his bed and ran over to them.

"Yes way! We've got proof!" Yolei held up her smartphone to Marcus's face.

"Damn, Izzy got game!" Marcus punched Izzy in the arm.

"Izzy's got game?" Matt stood behind them.

"Yeah, check it out for yourself," Davis took the phone away from Yolei's hands and gave it to Matt.

"Oh, shit! How did I miss this!" he scrolled through the pictures. "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Matt accidentally dropped the phone on the floor.

"Oh, scrolled too far," Yolei bit her lip.

"Heh heh," Marcus picked up the phone and laughed at pictures of Kazu and Kenta spooning.

"So lover boys, explain yourselves," Izzy smirked at the boys.

"Don't look at me! I was asleep," Kazu yelled. "I was clearly being taken advantage of!"

"I have a sleeping disorder! Since I forgot to bring my Funshine Bear, I needed something else to hug," Kenta looked down at his feet.

"Next time, use one of these!" Kazu grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it at Kenta.

"Hey guys! Why are all of you next to my bed? What did I miss?" Mimi yawned and stretched her arms.

Everyone shot glances at each other and then looked back at her. "Nothing..." they said in unison.

* * *

"It took you guys long enough!" Gennai stomped his foot as everyone gathered around. "And Tai, do you know you're wearing your pants as a shirt?"

"Yeah," Tai huffed. "I tried to take them off, but my head's stuck in this hole," he pulled the pant legs up to his ears.

"Smart cookie," Gennai scoffed.

"Cookies?" Davis perked up.

"NO! NO COOKIES FOR YOU!" Gennai stomped his foot. "We're gonna get this challenge over with, and we're going to get it done as soon as possible!"

"Wow, it sounds like this is gonna be one horrible challenge," Sora said.

"It is. Remind me never to volunteer again," Gennai groaned.

"Why? It's not like you do any of the work anyways," Rufus said.

"I'm with Rabies on this one," Marcus crossed his arms.

"It's Rufus," Jeri said.

"Whatever. So big guy! What's up with this challenge?" Marcus grabbed Gennai by his robe.

"I really don't want to talk about it yet. I'll tell you when we get there," Gennai sighed. "Now everyone get on that raft!"

"This sounds really bad," Kouichi gulped.

"Huh, you have no idea," Lily shook her head. "I'm so glad I'm not a contestant."

"But aren't you the person who decides our challenges?" Izzy gave Lily a skeptical look.

"Well, I work with a team of creative directors. Not only do I help come up with some ideas, but I'm the one who approves them. What I say is the final word...except that this time, Gennai made a promise he couldn't keep," Lily grunted as she canoed the paddles. "I told him that if he does this again, I'm using his paycheck to get his mouth surgically removed and have it replaced with a zipper."

"So, what exactly is our challenge?" Kari asked.

"You'll find out when we get there," Lily sighed.

"Why is everyone saying that?" Takato said.

"Oh, you'll find out," Lily let out a snort.

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later..._

"Welcome to Reject Island," Gennai said blandly.

"Why is this called Reject Island?" Yolei asked.

"To give you a little background history, Reject Island is a place where all of the...uh, I dont know what to call it...but, where all of the mutated digimon are sent," Lily said.

"Hey! I was supposed to explain this!" Gennai whined.

"And you're supposed to stop messing up MY show! The show that _I_ produced! Now shut up!" Lily pushed Gennai into the water.

_*Hack hack*_ "Pfft!" Gennai gagged on water.

"Mutated?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah. Once upon a time, a powerful being named King Drasil tried to wipe out the Digital World and make a new one. To make this happen, he created an X-Virus to kill off all of the Digimon. Unfortunately for him, some of the digimon survived the virus. Upset about this, King Drasil decided to come up with a Y-Virus, hoping that this one would be potent. This virus was even more of a failure because most of the digimon weren't affected by it. The ones who did get affected were cast off to this island. These digimon are known as Pokemon," Lily explained.

"Pokemon?" Rika raised an eyebrow.

"It's short for Slowpoke Digimon. This virus causes the digimon to 'digivolve', or what I like to call it, mutate quickly, but it also slowed down the digimon's cognitive abilities. For example, these digimon can't speak well; they're only able to repeat their name. Even though these Pokemon digivolve fast, they have the minds of a baby," Lily said.

"Wow..." Marcus let out a long whistle. "That's one hell of a story."

"And that's what other digimon say. They think Pokemon are an urban legend, and it doesn't help that Reject Island is really hard to find," Lily said.

"Like Canada...," Mimi said in awe.

"Ignore her," Izzy gave himself a facepalm.

"So why's our challenge involve Pokemon?" Tai asked.

"You have to try to get these Pokemon to de-digivolve into normal digimon. That's the only way to get them rid of the Y-Virus," Lily said.

"And how do we do that?" Kouichi asked.

"I dunno. You're gonna have to figure that one on your own. There are gonna be two rowboats, one for each team, where you put the de-digivolved Pokemon in. The team that gets the most Pokemon to de-digivolve before sundown wins today's challenge. Gennai!"

"Yes, Lily?" Gennai said, drenched in water.

"Supervise these kids! I'm coming back at sundown," Lily yelled before she walked away.

* * *

"How cute!" Yolei picked up a yellow Pokemon with red cheeks and a zig-zag tail.

"Pika, pika, Pikachu!" the Pokemon smiled and electrocuted Yolei.

"Ahhh! That little bastard!" Yolei threw it up in the air and kicked it.

"Uhhh...does that count as animal cruelty?" Zoe winced.

"I guess it would, if I knew what kind of animal that was supposed to be," Gennai made a face.

"My digi-analyzer can't pick up any information on this Pokemon," Izzy sighed.

"That's probably because you need a Pokemon index," Kazu said.

"We could call it a Pokedex for short!" Kenta exclaimed.

"Hey, we should make one of those! We could make it in a little book that you could fit in your pocket!" Kazu said.

"Stop being dumbasses," Rika smacked the boys on the back of their heads. "There's no time for you guys to make up stupid ideas."

* * *

"No! He's my Agumon's cousin!"

"Nuh uh! This thing's related to MY Agumon!"

"Guys! What are you doing?" Sora ran up to Marcus and Tai, who were playing tug-of-war with a Charmander.

"Tai thinks that this thing's his Agumon's cousin!" Marcus pulled at the Charmander.

"Well, he is!" Tai grunted.

"Who cares?! We should just focus on turning these back into digimon!" Sora yelled.

"Yeah, Tai!" Marcus pulled at the Charmander and Tai let go.

"Hey!" Tai tackled Marcus and fell on the Pokemon.

"Charmander!" the Charmander screamed and spit fire on Tai and Marcus.

"Stop, drop, roll!" Marcus screamed and rolled around.

"What do I do if I skipped the stop and drop part?" Tai laid on the grass.

* * *

"You're kinda ugly," Mimi pouted at a Bulbasaur. "There's always room for improvement, though!"

"Bulba-Bulbasaur!" it whipped Mimi in the face with its vines.

"That's not very nice, you know!" Mimi rubbed her face and kicked the Pokemon.

"Whoa, what happened to your face?" Takato said.

"That thing hit me!" Mimi pointed at the Bulbasaur.

"That sucks!" Takato said.

"Bulllbasaur!" the Bulbasaur rapidly spit some seed bullets at Takato.

"Owww! Stop it!" Takato held his arms out in front of his face.

"You stupid ugly thing!" Mimi screamed.

"That's not very nice. I'm doing the best I can," Takato flinched as he tried to dodge the bullets.

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to that!" Mimi bashed the Bulbasaur on its head.

"Uh oh...what did you do?" Takato said.

"I don't know..." Mimi shuddered.

* * *

"Hello there," a woman with red hair and a man with purple hair looked down at Kouichi and Kari, who were playing with a Pikachu.

"Hi. Can we help you?" Kouichi gave them a strange look.

"Prepare for trouble!" the red-haired chick said.

"Make it double!" the man with the purple hair leaned his back against the woman's back.

"To protect the world from devastation!" the woman said.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" the man flicked his hair.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" the woman raised her hand in the air.

"To extend our reach to the stars above!" the man struck a Tebow pose.

"Jessie!" the woman squealed.

"James!" the man sprung up from the floor.

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!" Jessie leaped.

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" James punched the air.

"That's nice...but we gotta go," Kouichi held the Pikachu in his arms.

"Wait a minute!" Kari looked at Jessie and James. "I think these guys are Pokemon too!"

"WHAT?!" Jessie and James jumped.

"Yeah, that's definitely them! Arukenimon and Mummymon!" Kari pointed at them.

"What are you talking about?" Jessie shrieked.

"Oh, come on! You guys are the deformed version of Arukenimon and Mummymon!" Kari insisted.

"Did she just call us deformed?" James's face fell flat.

"You little brat! We just wanted the damn Pikachu!" Jessie growled in Kari's face.

"What for?" Kouichi stood in front of Kari to protect her.

"You see, this Pikachu is very valuable!" James said.

"Just give it to us and we'll leave you alone!" Jessie stomped her foot.

"Okay, I guess," Kouichi shrugged and handed them the Pikachu.

"Kouichi, don't!" Kari yelled.

"Too late, girlie!" Jessie let out a shrill laugh.

"This must have been the easiest Pikachu capture ever!" James sounded giddy as he grabbed on the the Pokemon.

"Pika pika, Pikachu!" the Pikachu shocked Jessie and James so hard, they flew up in the sky. The Pikachu was burnt from all of the electricity and it began to glow.

"Oh my god! Look!" Kari rapidly tapped Kouichi on the arm. The Pokemon shrunk and turned red.

"Elecmon here. What just happened? My head hurts...," it groaned.

"Oh my god, oh my god! We did it!" Kari squealed and hugged Kouichi.

"We sure did," Kouichi nodded. "Elecmon, you're finally going home."

* * *

"Hey little worm guy," Davis tried to coax a Caterpie.

"Caterpie, caterpie."

"That's right little dude, come here," Davis picked up the Caterpie.

"CATERPIE!" it spit a web on Davis's face.

"Seriously? You got this silly string crap in my hair!" Davis yelled. He picked up the Caterpie and threw it hard against a tree. "I'll show you...what the hell?" The Caterpie bounced off the tree and landed into Davis's arms.

The Caterpie de-digivolved into a Minomon and moaned. "Who are you?" it looked up at Davis.

* * *

"We're not gonna get anywhere if these morons keep sleeping like this," Rika kicked at Koji. His face was covered in marker scribblings. "Wake up!" she kicked him one more time, but he didn't stir. "What the hell is going on here?" she looked around to see Sora and Jeri knocked out cold. They also had scribbles on their faces. "Jiiiiglypuuuuff, jiiiiglyyyypuff!"

"I'm getting tired myself," Rika yawned. "HEY!" she abruptly stood up straight and walked over to the singing Jigglypuff. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Jigglypuffjigglypuffjiggly...PUFF!" it angrily sang.

"Oh yeah? Is that how you want to play?" Rika kicked at the Pokemon.

"Jigglypuff," it scoffed.

"That's it! If it's a challenge you want, it's a challenge you'll get!" Rika yelled and cleared her throat. "Here goes..._promise that we'll stay for the sunset and when the moon shines thought the darkness, we can find the path that leads us home..._"

"Jigglypuff," the Jigglypuff said drowsily.

"_Every morning into every night, do you watch over me like the sun in the sky? Am I all alone or standing in your light? I wish that I could maybe sing you a song tonight...you promised me we'd stay for the sunset..._," Rika finished her song and glanced at the Jigglypuff to find it sleeping. "I thought so," Rika smirked.

"Rika? Was that you?" Sora woke up and rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah, you're a good singer," Koji awkwardly said.

"Aww, was that a compliment I heard?" Jeri poked Koji on the cheek.

"Shut up," Koji grumbled.

"Nobody messes with me!" Rika smirked at the Jigglypuff, who was now a Lalamon.

* * *

"Hey guys! I just came across a great discovery!" Izzy ran up to Kazu and Kenta. "What on earth are you guys doing?!"

"Oh nothing. Just having a Squirtle gun fight," Kazu breezily said, holding up a Squirtle.

"Squirtle squirtle!" it shot water into Kenta's face.

"Come on! That's not fair! It knocked my glasses out of my face!" Kenta whined.

"Can you guys stop your fight for a second? I might have found a way to win this challenge," Izzy huffed.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Kazu lowered his Squirtle.

"Squirtle, squirtle," Kenta's Squrtile spit some water into Kazu's ear.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Kazu hit his ear. "You're gonna get it now!"

"Ahhhh!" Kenta ran away from Kazu.

"Never mind. I'll find someone who isn't a complete dolt," Izzy walked off.

* * *

"This stupid big lump of a Pokemon!" Zoe kicked at a Snorlax. "You're definitely useless! All you do is sleep!"

"Snorlax...snorlax..." it snored.

"No wonder you're on Reject Island! You're such a reject, I don't even want to know what you'd look like as a Digimon!" Zoe kept kicking at the Snorlax until it began to glow. "Oh my gosh! What's happening?"

"Hey Zoe! It's me, JP!" JP said.

"JP? Why were you a pokemon?" Zoe gave him a strange look.

"I don't know...but if I could choose what Pokemon I would be, I would be Pikachu," JP shrugged. "That way I could Pikachu in the shower!"

"You sicko!" Zoe smacked him in the face. "Just my luck! I de-digivolve a Pokemon and it turns into JP!"

"Zee! It was just a joke!" JP yelled. "Don't run away from me!"

* * *

"Marcus! Matt!" Izzy ran up to them.

"Wassup Frizzy?" Marcus flashed him a smile.

"I've got a theory about how to change these Pokemon into digimon!" Izzy flailed his arms in the air.

"We're listening," Matt nodded.

"You see, if we fight against these Pokemon, they'll de-digivolve! It's similar to how digimon fight each other; eventually, one of them loses and transforms back into their previous form. I know it sounds unorthodox, but if we want to change these Pokemon, we have to beat them up," Izzy explained.

"I could have told you that," Marcus flexed his arm. "That's what I've been doing, and it works. So far, we have 329 digimon on our rowboat."

"What?!" Izzy stepped back in shock.

"Yeah, that's a lot of digimon, so we totally creamed the other team!" Matt said.

"Then why are you still punching these Pokemon?" Izzy asked Marcus.

"Cause Pokemon are pretty creepy," Marcus casually said as he punched a Meowth until it turned into a Gatomon.

* * *

_Sundown Tally..._

"Impressive! The BAMFs have over 500 digimon in their rowboat!" Lily looked at the mountain of digimon piled up on the small rowboat. "I didn't expect this many Pokemon to turn into digimon, so a cruise boat is coming around to pick up the digimon."

"Score!" Marcus jumped up in the air.

"One day, we'll eliminate all Pokemon from the Digital World, one Pokemon at a time!" Yolei yelled.

"Holla!" Davis did a victory dance.

"Kick-Ass Firepower...sorry but you just didn't cut it this time, since you only have 23 digimon and JP," Lily sighed. "Speaking of which, how did you turn into a Pokemon?"

"I don't know. All I remember is that the Loser Cruiser made a wrong turn and ended up ditching me on this island," JP shrugged.

"That's nice. But you're still not in the competition anymore," Gennai laughed.

"Awww man!" JP pouted.

"Kick-Ass Firepower, you guys are going to tomorrow morning's campfire ceremonies," Lily said.

"Tomorrow morning? How is that going to work?" Kari asked.

"Someone," Lily glared at Gennai, "forgot to gather up enough firewood to throw the ceremony tonight. I bought a fake campfire toy off of Amazon, so it should be shipped by tomorrow morning. On the bright side, you can have more time to think about who should be eliminated!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I know that I'm not the most popular girl on my team," Zoe sighed. "And I can't blame them. I know they're just jealous that they can't be as awesome as me! Regardless, I need to take the attention off of me and convince my teammates to kick someone else out. It's gonna be hard, but it's the only way that I'll make it through this show."

* * *

Zoe sat up in bed and looked around to make sure everyone was asleep. "Seems like the coast is clear," she whispered to herself and pulled a pair of scissors out of the pocket of her sleep shirt. She gently got up from bed, trying not to wake up Sora. Zoe tiptoed toward Koji and held his ponytail in her hands.

_*Snip, snip, snip* _Zoe held her breath as she slowly began to cut off Koji's hair. After she successfully snipped his ponytail off, Zoe quietly walked over to the closet compartment.

"Hmmm..." Zoe took Kari's shirt out of the closet and turned the hanger. "I saw this in a movie once. I hope it works, cause I don't think Kari has enough confidence to wear this after I'm done with it," she quietly laughed to herself as she ripped circles on the front of Kari's shirt.

_*Creeeeak* "_Oh my gosh!" Zoe hid inside the closet and covered her mouth with her hand. She peeked through the door to see Kari get up from her bed and sneak out of the RV. "I wonder what she's doing...whatever, I'll just have to find out later. Now time to get to some serious business," she grabbed Takato's goggles from a hook and cut the strap off.

After that, Zoe dug into Rika's duffel bag. "Hmmm..." she pulled out a frilly dress and smiled. She got up and sifted through the closet to find Rika's clothes. "Snip snip snip," Zoe hummed to herself as she tore Rika's normal clothes into scraps. "Besides, I think you look better in pretty pink dresses!"

Zoe got up and hit her face against a pair of jeans. "Tai..." she grumbled. "Who likes short shorts? I like short shorts..." she giggled to herself, cutting the legs off of Tai's jeans.

Zoe stepped out of the closet and looked around the RV. "Hmmm...I think that's enough for tonight," she whispered. She wiped her fingerprints off the scissors with her pajama shirt. Then she silently walked up to Jeri's bed and placed the scissors on top of Rufus.

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Kouichi, what's wrong?" Sora asked.

"I'm Koji!"

"Nuh uh, Koji wears a ponytail," Jeri said.

"Don't you think this is a little too late in the competition to be pulling the twin crap switcheroo?" Tai frowned.

"What's with all the screaming?" Kouichi got up from bed.

"Oh my god! They look like twins!" Kari gasped.

"Really?" Zoe glared at Kari.

"What happened to my goggles?" Takato fell on his knees and began to cry.

"Come on, man up!" Rika rolled her eyes.

"But these were my signature trademark," Takato sobbed.

"No they weren't! I came up with the goggles trend first!" Tai yelled.

"Tai!" Sora smacked him on the arm.

"My shirt!" Kari screamed. "I didn't even notice this until now!" she pulled on her shirt. There were two holes cut out on her chest.

"At least you still look good," Kouichi shrugged.

"Hey! That's my little sister you're talking about!" Tai screamed.

"Come on, everyone! Let's just get ready and go!" Sora clapped her hands.

"AHHHH! MY PANTS!" Tai held up a pair of his newly-tailored pants.

"I don't know if I would call those pants," Kari tried to hold in her laughter.

"Are you kidding me?! What happened to my clothes! The only things I have left are these stupid dresses!" Rika threw her dresses across the RV. "I HATE MY MOM! I TOLD HER NOT TO SNEAK IN THESE DOOFUS CLOTHES!"

"Ha ha! Rika in a dress, I'd like to see that!" Koji grabbed his bandana and started to put it on until he found holes in it. "Okay, which one of you jackasses did this?!"

"It looks like a happy face!" Jeri smiled brightly.

"I don't remember doing that," Zoe muttered to herself.

"What did you say?" Rika gave Zoe a look.

"I didn't say anything. You're probably hearing things," Zoe picked up her hat. "Whoooaaaa! What the heck?!" she showed everyone her hat. It also had a happy face cut out.

"Oh my god! Your hat looks like a jack-o-lantern!" Sora gasped.

"Okay, this is going too far," Kouichi pointed at the holes in the back of his green button-down shirt. "These holes are unnecessary, but I look even stupider when the holes look like a happy face!"

"On the bright side, I guess we'll all look happy?" Takato uptalked.

"NOT HELPING!" everyone yelled.

"Rufus! How could you?" Jeri gasped. "Look! He has the scissors in his hand!"

"Right, it was Rufus," Koji grumbled.

"I'm not in the mood for nonsense," Tai bit his lip.

"Calm down everyone!" Sora yelled.

"Hmph...it's pretty hard to do when we all look like hot messes," Koji snorted.

"Oh, shut up! At least you don't look like a girl!" Rika grunted as she angrily slipped into a poofy dress.

"Okay..." Kouichi sighed as everyone got out of the caravan.

"I'll be there soon," Zoe said. "Huh, what's this?" she picked up a scrap of paper lying on her pillow and read it.

"_You should have thought twice before you decided to frame me."__  
_

"Oh my god!" Zoe gasped and looked around the empty RV. "Now this is scary..."

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies (Morning Edition)..._

_"_I like how you pulled this off," Sora crawled inside the black tent to see Gennai sitting next to a fake campfire.

"Thanks. I did a good job, didn't I?" Gennai smiled.

"No, it's more like I did!" Lily said. "Do you want me to get the newspaper?"

"Nonononono! I'll behave!" Gennai shook his head. "Whoa ho ho, which is what Tai and Kari look like right now," Gennai laughed at the holes in Kari's shirt. "If you guys wanted some attention, all you had to do was ask."

"All of my shirts are like this," Kari crossed her arms to cover her chest up.

"No comment," Tai squirmed in his log. "These shorts are giving me a killer wedgie! How can you girls deal with this?"

"Wanna switch with me? I hate this dress!" Rika crossed her arms.

"No thanks..." Tai winced.

"I miss my goggles," Takato whimpered.

"What a sob story..." Gennai laughed. "Why do all of you guys look stupid anyways?"

"Something strange happened last night, I just can't put my finger on it," Koji grunted.

"Alright," Gennai grimaced. "I counted the votes and saw something very interesting. I haven't seen votes this unanimous since...well, JP. Zoe, Jeri! Get up here," Gennai motioned them forward. "It's down to two girls...one of them being just as feisty as an Italian sausage, and the other one blaming her feistiness on a sock puppet. And the person who gets to go home is..."

"Please not me, please not me," Zoe shuddered.

"Jeri! And that includes Rufus!" Gennai said.

"You guys voted me off?" Jeri said softly.

"Don't do that sad face at us! We've got enough of your stupid smiley faces!" Kouichi jerked his thumb toward the back of his shirt.

"But..." Jeri whimpered.

"We know, we know...it was Rufus," everyone said at the same time.

"Damn right it was me!" the sock puppet jumped out of Jeri's hand and walked around the artificial fire.

"AHHHHHH!" everyone grabbed on to each other and screamed.

"You guys didn't believe I existed, did you? You just thought I was some figment of Jeri's imagination, didn't you? Well, I'll show you! I'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU! And Blondie?" the puppet turned to Zoe. "You're definitely gonna get it! Just watch your back!" Rufus pulled out a pair of scissors behind him.

"Rufus? How could you?" Jeri cried.

"Awww, that's nice but it's time for you to go," Gennai stuttered. "Interns? Bring straitjackets! Quickly!"

"And that wraps up this episode of Total Drama Island!" Lily said. "Everyone, evacuate the tent! Evacuate!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"What's with all the screaming?" Davis slurred.

"Isn't it a little too early for this?" Matt pressed his face against his pillow.

"I'm awake and I'm not liking it," Marcus grunted.

"Come on guys! Carpe diem!" Yolei leaped up in the air.

"No," Mimi whined. "I don't even know what carpal dream means."

"Normally, I would correct you and tell you what it means, but..." Izzy passed out on his pillow.

"You guys are no fun!" Yolei threw herself back into bed.

"At least some people are sleeping peacefully," Marcus smirked and tilted his head toward Kazu and Kenta.

"Yuck...after that, I don't think I'll sleep as well as they are," Matt winced at the sight of the boys sucking each other's thumbs.

"Photo op!" Yolei pulled out her phone. "This is scrapbook-worthy!"

"Eww, you make scrapbooks?" Davis stuck out his tongue.

* * *

_Last words..._

"I'm coming for you Zoe. Just guarantee that!" Rufus said.

"When can I say my last words?" Jeri asked.

"Shut up! You don't get any last words!" Rufus smacked Jeri in the face.

"Why Rufus, whyyy?" Jeri cried.


	15. Hell's Kitchen

**Lily's Contribution Corner: This episode is brought to you by storygirl99210, writer of the popular teen drama 99210. Tune in every Tuesday night at 9/8 central to see all of of the drama, mystery, murder, and the sexy actors! Missed any episodes? Momentai! All of the 99210 episodes are streaming online at the official FFNetwork website, so you can watch them anytime and anywhere you want. On the go? Just download the FFNetwork Mobile app for free, available for iPhone and Android!**

* * *

**Recap: **Things have been shaking up for a while. Both teams get caravans to stay in, but does it actually make things better for everyone? Who knew that a small space could add more drama around? If Rufus isn't causing a ruckus, Yolei's pursuing a career in photography. As if that wasn't weird, the contestants are brought to a remote island inhabited by mutated digimon. Let's just say that some people were shocked, especially when they saw JP again. Back at the campgrounds, mysterious things happen at the Kick-Ass Firepower's RV. Because of that, the team had their last straw with Jeri and her puppet. Little do they know that their Campfire Ceremonies was going to be more...interesting than they expected.

* * *

**Hell's Kitchen**

"Hey guys, what's cracking?" Tai waved.

"We are!" Izzy burst out laughing.

"What's up with the stupid clothes?" Matt said in between laughs.

"Is this like some kind of punishment for losing the last challenge?" Yolei winced.

"I guess you could say that," Kouichi sighed.

"We had to eliminate Jeri since her puppet cut up all of our things," Sora explained.

"What? Am I hearing this right?" Izzy grimaced.

"On the bright side, Jeri really isn't crazy! It turns out Rufus is real! He came to life during our campfire ceremonies, and boy was that scary!" Kari' gasped.

"You look so pretty, Rika! I love your dress!" Mimi gushed.

"Well I don't," Rika growled.

"Sorry! I was just giving a compliment!" Mimi pouted.

"Don't take it personally. Rufus ripped most of her clothes to shreds, so now she's stuck with all of these dresses her mom packed. At least the scraps were useful. After Rufus cut the band of my goggles, I used one of Rika's rags to make a new strap. Sexy chic, don't you think?" Takato pointed to the cotton fabric strapped around his head.

"Kouichi? What happened to Koji? Did you kill him and make a clone of yourself? And did you put on his clothes so that we would think that your clone was you and that you were the clone? Cause I'm on to you," Kazu tapped Koji on the shoulder.

"I'M KOJI!" Koji screamed in Kazu's face.

"Sure you are," Kazu said sarcastically.

"You pervert!" Marcus smacked Davis on the back of his head.

"Huh? What?" Davis sat up.

"Stop looking at her like that! You've got a river of drool coming out of your mouth. And you just look downright creepy," Marcus nudged his head toward Kari.

"No..." Davis droned. "Can you move now?"

"Perv," Marcus shook his head and walked away.

"What are you guys eating?" Kouichi raised his eyebrows.

"Leaves and cranberries," Kenta shrugged.

"It kinda looks good, in a Man vs. Wild sorta way," Zoe wriggled her nose.

"And it tastes pretty good too," Matt shoved some leaves and berries in his mouth.

"I hate to correct you, but those are lingonberries," Takato said.

"Shut up, Cake Boss," Kazu stuck out his tongue.

"Takato's right though," Izzy rubbed one of the berries in between his fingers. "You see, lingonberries are found in climates such as..."

"Blah blah blabbidy blah. Tell to someone who gives a damn," Kenta shooed Izzy away.

Izzy picked up his plate and walked off. "Why are these guys on my team?"

"I know what you mean. Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with them, but then I remember I hang out with them because it makes me look cool compared to them," Takato nodded.

"Awww, I'm glad to see you guys are exploring your culinary side!" Gennai walked over to the kids.

"That's nice, but you're not getting any!" Yolei turned her plate away from Gennai.

"That's what she said," Koji snickered.

"Oh man," Gennai rubbed his forehead. "I don't care about your little forest salads! I just said that because our next challenge has to do with cooking! Cool, right?"

"Do we get to watch people cook?" Sora asked.

"Oooh, like one of those hibachi things? I love them, especially since the cooks can't spit in your food," Mimi gasped.

"It's more like the opposite of what you guys are expecting," Gennai grinned.

"Oooh! So people are gonna watch us eat?" Davis excitedly bopped up and down.

"Oh my god...I'm just gonna cut to the chase. You guys are going to work at Digitamamon's diner," Gennai groaned.

"WHAT?!" the kids screamed.

"I don't even know how to cook!" Tai shrieked.

"And neither does your mom," Marcus smirked.

"Don't you dare talk about my momma like that!" Tai growled.

"But he's only telling the truth," Kari grabbed Tai's wrist.

"How do you expect us to work at a diner when I'm pretty sure none of us know how to cook?" Izzy asked.

"I know how to cook," Zoe said.

"Same here," Takato nodded.

"Awww, look at that! Kick-Ass Firepower has two culinary experts! Aren't they lucky?"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Okay, okay. I know I wasn't supposed to gamble anymore, but I had to bet that Kick-Ass would win! It was such an obvious choice, I couldn't pass up an easy bet like that!" Gennai grinned.

* * *

"I guess that leaves us screwed," Izzy sighed.

"Hey, don't talk like that!" Marcus lightly punched Izzy on the arm. "We've got this!"

"Really?" Mimi squealed.

"Sure... I've eaten my mom's food and she's a pretty good cook, so that means I must be good at it too!" Marcus flashed her a smile.

"I don't think it works like that," Yolei frowned.

"Are you forgetting that I have...THIS?" Kenta fiddled with his pants.

"Put that away!" Davis screamed. "If Gennai finds out, he'll kill you, and then rig the game to make our team lose!"

"Okay, but remember that our team has a lucky charm," Kenta stuffed his rabbit's foot back in his pocket.

"Not this again," Izzy groaned. "There is no such thing as luck."

"Shun the nonbeliever! Shuuuuun!" Kenta screamed.

"Yeah," Matt walked backwards as everyone stepped away from Izzy.

"Really? Really?" Izzy crossed his arms.

* * *

"Time to hop onto your caravans! The diner's a two-hour ride, so you guys will have lots of fun, and maybe time to think about what you're gonna cook!" Gennai clapped his hands.

"Two hours? In a car?" Zoe croaked.

"On the bright side, we're Jeri-free," Kouichi shrugged.

"But we all look stupid thanks to Rufus," Rika grumbled.

"Way to bring down the mood," Tai frowned.

"Let's just get inside," Rika pushed Tai out of the way. "If I have to spend another minute in this dress..."

"Wow, that dress sounds very uncomfortable," Sora winced.

"If it bothers you that much, you can take one of my pants," Takato said.

"And I'll lend you one of my shirts," Zoe said. "We're around the same size."

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I can't stand Rika but it was the least I could do. I feel really guilty about ruining everyone's clothes now," Zoe sighed. "But that was the only way that we could get rid of Jeri as soon as possible."

* * *

"Hey, Zee. Do you have an extra shirt for me?" Kari asked.

"Nope," Zoe closed the closet door.

"But...but... I could have sworn you had a couple of extra shirts hanging..."

"Here," Kouichi handed Kari his green shirt. "I know there's holes in the back, but at least you'll be covered up in front."

Koji smirked mischievously at Kouichi. "And here, take my jacket too!"

"Thanks guys! I'm fine now," Kari giggled as she slid into Koji's jacket. Kouichi shook his head.

"What about me? I can't wear these Daisy Dukes forever!" Tai whined.

"Uh..." Takato grimaced.

"You can't fit into anyone's clothes. You're too big," Sora said.

"This sucks," Tai pouted.

* * *

"Soooo," Davis looked around the room. "This is boring..."

"Tell me about it," Marcus hung off the side of his bed.

"Hmph," Matt bounced a superball against the wall.

"Nooo! You beat me again!" Kenta screamed.

"Well, I am pretty good," Kazu shuffled his Digimon cards. "Now hand those babies over!"

"This is going to be the seventy-third time I have to get a new deck of cards! Can we bend the rules this one time?"

"At least someone's having fun," Marcus shrugged.

"1...2...3..." Mimi petted the bed sheets.

"What are you doing?" Izzy gave Mimi a strange look.

"Just wondering if these sheets are 300-count sheets. I don't know why, but I just feel so comfortable in this bed. Great, now I lost my place. 1...2...3..."

"I shouldn't have asked," Izzy muttered.

"Ewww!" Davis screamed. "That's really gross Yolei!"

"What did she do this time?" Matt sat up straight.

"She's scrapbooking! Scrapbooking!" Davis explained.

"Scrapbooking?" Kenta asked.

"Yep! I'm keeping track of all my memories on this show. That way, I won't forget a thing...or I can always make some money selling this as an exclusive photo album," Yolei put stickers on a page.

"Oooh, can we see?" Mimi said.

"Why would you wanna do that?" Kazu scoffed.

"Because we don't have anything better to do," Marcus got up and sat next to Yolei.

"Nuh uh!" Yolei hovered over her scrapbook. "I'll let you see when it's dry! I don't want it to get messed up!"

*SCREEEEECH!* the caravan made an abrupt stop and everyone fell off their beds.

"I guess we're here," Izzy groaned.

* * *

"So this is Digitamamon's diner," Gennai pointed to a run-down building.

"Wow, this looks crappier than the last time I've been here," Matt made a face.

"You want us to cook in that death trap?" Koji raised his eyebrow.

"I'm scared that the roof's going to collapse on us," Sora's jaw dropped.

"Aww, come on! It's not a five-star restaurant! Just be lucky I'm not making you guys fix this place up!" Gennai yelled. "Now get inside!"

_*Crack*_ a piece of the ceiling crumbled and fell.

"Ahhh!" Kazu and Kenta grabbed on to each other.

"Awww, come on! It's not a big deal! Now move it!" Gennai pushed the boys into the kitchen.

"Wow, the kitchen looks...steady," Marcus noted.

"That's right!" Digitamamon said. "I can't have my chefs working in a broken down place. I can't afford the worker's compensation. Well, I can't afford cooks in the first place, but that's another story."

"I know about that. Every time I made a mistake, you made me work here for extra days! You're lucky I didn't hard boil you!" Matt crossed his arms.

"Heh heh, how about we let bygones be bygones?" Digitamamon laughed nervously.

"Stop bullying the overgrown egg and pay attention. This kitchen is divided into two sections: red for Kick-Ass and blue for BAMFs. Each team must decide who will be the chefs, the assistant cooks, the prep team, and the waiters. It doesn't matter how many cooks or waiters you want, as long as there's one person for every position. Then, the chefs get to create a menu consisting of 2 appetizers, 2 entrees, and 2 desserts. The customers will have a survey card so they can rate the food and service, and write any extra comments down. We'll decide the winning team by who gets the highest rating average. Capisce?" Gennai said.

"Yeah! Don't screw this up!" Digitamamon growled.

"I'm in the mood for a giant fried egg right now," Marcus muttered.

"Let's crack that son-of-a-bitch," Matt smirked.

"Hey! I heard that!" Digitamamon yelled. "Just get to work before I run you over!"

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"I think Takato should be chef," Rika said.

"Oooh, does Rika have the hots for a specific gogglehead?" Koji mocked. Both Rika and Takato turned red.

"No! I only said that because he can cook! His parents own a bakery," Rika stomped her foot.

"Come on, Koji. Stop instigating. Takato would be an awesome chef," Sora nodded.

"You think?" Takato rubbed his arm.

"What about me? I'm Italian so that automatically makes me a good chef too!" Zoe flailed her arms in the air.

"Heating up Olive Garden breadsticks doesn't count," Koji scoffed.

"Don't make me kill you!" Zoe grabbed Koji by the collar.

"Shut the hell up, Koji! Don't talk unless you've got any great ideas," Tai slammed his fist on the counter.

"How about if Zoe and Takato were both chefs? Gennai said we could have whatever number of chefs, right?" Sora said.

"Yeah, as long as every position is filled," Kouichi added.

"Fine, we have two chefs. What are you guys thinking of doing for the menus?" Tai said.

"I was thinking of doing an Italian-inspired menu. Our appetizers can be bruschetta and mozzarella sticks-" Zoe declared.

"Takato, what do you think about that?" Rika interrupted.

"Sounds good to me," he shrugged.

"We can have mushroom burgers and mushroom pizza for our entrees!" Zoe said.

"Yum..." Tai drooled. "We should cook some of that for ourselves..."

"I'm getting hungry now," Kouichi said.

"And we'll make tiramisu and zeppoles for dessert," Takato said.

"Yumalicuous!" Kari smiled.

"That's why we picked you guys to be chefs!" Sora said. "This is going to be one delicious menu."

"Now who's gonna be the waiters?" Zoe asked.

"Definitely not Rika or Koji," Tai scoffed.

"Hey! What do you mean by that?!" Rika and Koji yelled at the same time.

"Don't get offended, but you two aren't exactly the friendliest people around," Kouichi said.

"Yeah. Remember, the customers are going to be rating the service," Tai wagged his finger.

"Jackass," Rika said.

"Fuckface," Koji crossed his arms.

"Aaaand that's proof," Takato said.

"Do you honestly expect us to let you wait on people with your attitudes?" Tai said.

"I don't wanna be a waiter anyways," Rika scoffed.

"Me neither," Koji snorted.

"Then don't complain!" Zoe screamed.

"Kari should be a waitress," Kouichi said. "She's pretty and nice, and customers like that, right?"

_*Smooch smooch smooch*_ Koji started making out with his hands.

"Knock it off!" Zoe elbowed Koji. "Go wash your hands!"

"Kouichi's got a point. Kari's perfect for the job. She makes people happy and she doesn't even have to try. She just lights up the whole room," Sora said.

"Really?" Kari said.

"Yep," Kouichi nodded.

"So we've got one waitress. Who else wants to be one?" Tai said.

"I will," Kouichi volunteered.

"Now we gotta figure out who will be the prep team and the assistant cooks," Takato fidgeted with his goggles.

"Koji's definitely not going to cook," Zoe said.

"What?! You didn't even let me decide!" Koji screamed.

"Takuya told me about your live fish burger. I don't trust you to cook in my kitchen. You're on clean up duty," Zoe said.

"Your kitchen?" Koji crossed his arms.

"I'm the chef, so that means this kitchen is MINE!"

"Co-chef," Rika corrected.

"And we don't want Tai cooking either," Kari said. "His mom is a bad cook, and I bet that makes Tai a bad cook too," Kari nodded.

"As much as I agree with you, I have one problem with what you said," Tai said.

"What?"

"We have the same mom," Tai said. "So that would make you a bad cook too."

"Well, I'm waitressing. Not cooking," Kari stuck out her tongue.

"At least we don't have to worry about messing up the food. All of idiots aren't going to be cooking," Rika said.

"How about we start getting to work?" Takato banged a fork against a cheese grater.

"That's a good idea. That's why you're the chef!" Sora said.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"Before we think about the serious things, I think we should automatically make Kazu and Kenta the prep team," Matt said.

"Good idea," Izzy nodded.

"But we don't wanna be the clean-up crew!" Kazu said.

"Too bad. This is big boy work here. I don't think you guys will be able to handle that," Marcus said.

"But-," Kenta said.

"No! We're not going to risk elimination just because you two wanna cook. Just clean up. You can't mess that up," Yolei interrupted.

"You know what? We'll take the job! It'll be a piece of cake!" Kenta said.

"Besides, cooking is for girls," Kazu snorted.

"If cooking were for girls, then we'd let you cook," Matt said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kazu said.

"Next up! Who should be chef?" Davis cut Kazu off.

"Me! My mom makes some really good food, so I can definitely whip up some ideas," Marcus said.

"Any objections to that?" Izzy said.

"Nope," everyone shook their heads.

"How about waiters?" Matt asked.

"I can be one," Davis said.

"Is it because you don't want to cook?" Mimi giggled.

"Pretty much. And I can sneak bites of food and the customers will never know," Davis flashed everyone a smile.

"Please tell me he's joking," Marcus groaned.

"He's not," Yolei sighed.

"It's better than letting him cook though. He'd probably eat everything before it even hits the frying pan," Matt shook his head.

"Okay, waiter it is," Marcus said.

"So the rest of us will be cooks?" Mimi asked.

"No. I did some calculations, and we have too many cooks. It's only logical to have one more waiter," Izzy said.

"How about Matt? Imagine him being all emo on the customers!" Kazu said. "Hi, I'm Matt and I'm emo!" he jeered.

"Shut up and get to washing dishes!" Marcus yelled.

"I don't want to be a waiter anyways," Matt said.

"Neither do I," Izzy shook his head.

"It's because they're both antisocial. They hate people," Mimi nodded.

"I don't hate people, I just think they're annoying," Izzy said.

"And I'm not antisocial!" Matt protested. "I'm a rock god!"

"He's the god of rocks?" Kazu said stupidly.

"Oh Matt! Wise leader of rocks," Kenta bowed to Matt.

"What did I tell you?! Get to cleaning!" Marcus shook his fist at Kazu and Kenta.

"Damn, you're scary so we'll just do what you say because we don't want you to cream us," Kazu stuttered. Kenta just shivered.

"So it's down to the pretty girls," Marcus said.

"I thought we already assigned Kazu and Kenta to clean-up duty," Matt joked.

"But Kazu and Kenta aren't pretty," Marcus cracked up. "But seriously, which one of you girls are going to be a waitress?"

"If we're antisocial, then Mimi's just a klutz," Izzy scoffed.

"That's mean! I'm not a klutz!" Mimi pouted. She walked to the other side of the kitchen, but bumped into a pyramid of cans. "Oops..."

"Okay, Yolei! You're the waitress. Besides, you can scare Davis from eating the customers' food," Marcus smirked. "Now let's get down to business. What should we do for appetizers?"

"Microwaveable chicken bites!" Matt pulled out a bag from a freezer.

"Uh..." Izzy bit his lip.

"And we can make a buffalo sauce or something so it tastes like we made it from scratch," Davis said.

"That's not a bad idea! High-five, dude!" Marcus grinned. "Oh, and we're also making fried eggs! God, I miss those things! That can't be hard to make! So what to make for the entrees," he rubbed his chin.

"Swedish meatballs!" Mimi squealed.

"Good idea, toots," Marcus nodded.

"Ha hah! Mimi likes Swedish balls," Kazu snickered.

"What makes Swedish balls any different from regular balls? Don't they taste the same?" Kenta shrugged.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Marcus screamed.

"Shutting the fuck up," Kazu nervously washed the dishes.

"Anyone else have any ideas?" Marcus asked.

"How about shrimp?" Mimi suggested.

"What kind of shrimp? You see, shrimp is the fruit of the sea! You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's...uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo...," Davis listed.

"Uh...any other suggestions that isn't shrimp?" Yolei pressed her lips together.

"Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp..." Davis said in the background.

"DAVIS! SHUT UP ALREADY!" Yolei screamed.

"How about corned beef and cabbage?!" Izzy yelled over Davis.

"No! That sounds gross," Matt winced.

"Shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it," Davis nodded.

"Finally," Yolei sighed.

"I got it! We're making shrimp sushi rolls! I miss my mom's sushi..." Marcus sighed.

"Me want," Davis drooled.

"Me want you to stop drooling on my shoes!" Yolei kicked Davis.

"My mom makes some awesome chocolate cake. She even puts a layer of strawberry jam in between, so that's what we're making for dessert. We still need another one though. Anyone wanna take a crack at it.?" Marcus asked.

"Chimichangas?"

"Damn it! What did I tell you guys?!" Marcus threw a shoe at Kazu and Kenta.

"So no quesadillas either?"

"Don't make me throw a knife at you!" Marcus threatened.

"How about blarney stones?" Izzy said.

"Eww, that sounds like barfy stones...or kidney stones," Yolei made a face.

"Do you even know what blarney stones are?" Izzy grit his teeth.

"No, but we can't put that on the menu. People aren't going to eat something that sounds gross," Marcus said.

"Blueberry pie? With ice cream on top?" Mimi said.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Marcus said.

"It's cooking time!" Matt opened the bag of frozen chicken bites and threw them on a plate.

* * *

"Aha! Found the mushrooms!" Zoe carried two bowls of sliced mushrooms and placed them on the counter.

"Did you say mushrooms?" Digitamamon said.

"Yeah. Is there a problem with that?" Zoe crossed her arms.

"There is. You probably don't want to use the mushrooms in the red bowl, because those are mushrooms of forgetfulness," Digitamamon said.

"What?" Zoe raised an eyebrow.

"Whoever eats those mushrooms will lose their memory! Why else would they be called mushrooms of forgetfulness?!" Digitamamon snapped.

"Okay, okay! I get it," Zoe huffed. She walked over to Rika and Sora. "How are the appetizers going?"

"We put some mozzarella sticks in the deep fryer, and we're making some bruschetta at the moment," Sora said. "And Takato made some fresh bread so it'll taste amazing."

"Order up!" Kari clipped a piece of paper on a wire rope.

"Let me see that," Zoe snatched up the paper. "Okay, Takato! Time to start preparing some pizza dough!"

"Got it," Takato nodded. "Rika, come help me with the dough."

"Okay," Rika put her knife down and went with Takato. Zoe checked the deep fryer and then walked over to help Sora with the bruschetta.

"This is going to come out great! You guys came up with an awesome menu," Sora gushed.

"Thanks," Zoe smiled.

"I hate my job," Tai pouted.

"Me too," Koji grunted as he rinsed off a spatula. "And why do we have to wear hair nets? We're not the ones cooking."

"Screw that! If anyone asks, I couldn't fit my hair inside," Tai said.

"I don't think you need to convince people. Everyone would believe it," Koji snorted.

"You know what? You kinda look like the lunch lady in my school. Her name is Doris and she gives me free cookies," Tai said.

"I don't know if that's supposed to be a compliment or not," Koji subtly took off his hair net.

_*Crash*_

"What are you doing?!" Rika screamed.

"Rika!" Koji dropped his dishes in the sink.

"What's going on?" Sora asked.

"It's Gogglehead over here," Rika pointed to Takato. He was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against a cabinet.

"Who is Gogglehead?" Takato looked dazed.

"Stop fooling around! We have a challenge to win!" Tai yelled.

"Challenge? What?" Takato made a face.

"Rika, what happened?" Koji asked.

"I don't know! We were just making the pizzas and Takato ate a mushroom, and then he fell to the ground," Rika frantically moved her hands around.

"Takato! Are you okay?" Zoe held Takato's head up.

"What's a Takato? That sounds like a stupid word," Takato said.

"Oh no...maybe he hit his head too hard against something?" Sora shrugged.

"Wait a minute! Did you say that Takato ate some mushroom?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah. So what?" Rika put her hands on her hips.

"I forgot to tell you that Digitamamon said that one of the bowls had these mushrooms that cause people to lose their memory. Only problem is that I don't remember which bowl it was," Zoe bit her nails.

"Oh great! So I guess Takato wasn't the only one who ate the mushrooms," Rika groaned.

"How long are the side effects?" Tai asked.

"How am I supposed to know? I didn't even know mushrooms could make people forget things until now!" Zoe snapped.

"Calm down everyone!" Sora tried to keep her composure. "All we have to do is tweak the menu a little so that there aren't any mushrooms in the meals! That way we don't have to risk having anyone else to lose their memory!"

"Hmph," Koji frowned. "Is there any other dangerous food out there that might make you faint or give you a fever?"

"I don't know, but now I'm getting paranoid," Zoe bit her nails.

"I don't think Takato's doing too well," Sora put her hand on Takato's forehead. "He's a little warm."

"Koji!" Rika whipped Koji with a dish towel.

"I hurt," Takato groaned in pain.

"What's wrong?" Sora asked.

"Ungf," Takato collapsed on the floor.

"Koji!" Rika kicked him in the shin.

"Oww! What was that for?" Koji said.

"You're only making things worse by talking!" Rika barked.

"What? At least he's not having a seizure," Koji said. "Uhh... I take that back?" he said as Takato's body began to thrash everywhere.

"Tai! Help me move everything out of the way!" Sora screamed.

"Oh my god, oh my god! I hope he'll be okay! This is all my fault!" Zoe began to hyperventilate.

"Damn straight it is! You just had to make food with mushrooms in them," Koji smirked.

"Order up!" Kouichi slammed his hand against a bell.

Rika ran up to the window and pulled Kouichi by his sleeve. "Change of plans. We're holding the mushrooms."

_*Clang*_ "Ahhh!" "This is bad!" "Takato!"

"What's going on?" Kouichi tried to peer into the kitchen.

"You really don't want to know," Rika trembled.

_*Beep beep beep*_

"Uh, Rika? I think something's burning," Kouichi pointed to the black smoke coming from the kitchen.

"Oh great!" Rika groaned.

* * *

"Can you two knock it off? We're supposed to be working!" Izzy scolded Kazu and Kenta.

"Go away! You're interrupting our wet T-shirt contest!" Kazu said as he sprayed water on Kenta's chest.

"Yeah! Stop being a partypooper!" Kenta wiggled his arms in the air.

"This is ridiculous! There's no point talking to you two," Izzy angrily stomped away.

"Hey Kenta, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kazu flashed a sinister smile.

"Kitchen-wide wet T-shirt contest!" Kenta cheered.

"No, but that's a really good idea!" Kazu pulled out his sink sprayer. "Let's get Mimi! Ready?"

"Ready!" Kenta grabbed on to his sink sprayer.

"WASSUP!" the boys screamed and started to spray water around the kitchen.

"Get that away from me! It's gonna mess up my hair!" Matt screamed.

"What are you talking about? They're shooting at me!" Mimi tried to dodge the water.

"Mwah hah hah hah hah!" the boys laughed. "You can't run away from us!"

"You're supposed to wash the dishes! You guys can clean up the whole kitchen AFTER we finish cooking!" Marcus picked a saucepan off the stove and threw it at Kazu and Kenta.

"Whoa buddy!" Kazu ducked as the saucepan hit the wall.

"Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! Missed us, now you gotta kiss us!" Kenta stuck out his tongue.

"Crap! That was my famous Ishida Hot Bitch sauce!" Matt screamed.

"Is she da hot bitch sauce?" Marcus rubbed his chin.

"Yeah, Ishida Hot Bitch," Matt nodded. "Cool name, right?"

"Ahhhh!" Mimi shrieked. "Stop following me! This isn't funny anymore!"

"But it's a wet T-shirt contest, and we need a winner," Kenta aimed his sink sprayer at her.

"The contest is over!" Izzy stood in front of Mimi.

"Move out of the way!" Kazu squirted some water in Izzy's face.

"It's not working. You gotta change the water pressure to heavy," Kenta motioned Kazu over to the sink. "Kinda like this," he turned a knob.

"Whoa! This is much better!" Kazu tried to control his sink sprayer, but it was shaking in different directions.

"Watch where you aim that," Kenta warned.

"What?" Kazu turned to look at Kenta.

"Too late..." Kenta pointed at a drenched Marcus. "Uh oh..."

"Uh oh is right!" Marcus advanced towards the boys and cracked his knuckles.

"If it makes you feel better, you won the t-shirt contest?" Kazu laughed nervously.

"Yeah, I mean look at those abs, pleasedontkillus!" Kenta trembled.

"Someone come quickly!" Davis screamed.

"You guys check it, I've got business to take care of. I'll be back in 15 minutes," Marcus grabbed Kazu and Kenta by their shirts and walked out the back door.

"What's going on?" Izzy asked Davis.

"I believe this is a Code Red situation," Davis jerked his thumb at Yolei.

"Too bad! It's not my fault that you can't tell the difference between Swedish meatballs and regular ones!" Yolei screamed and flipped the table.

"What the hell?" Matt grimaced.

"She's a charmer, huh?" Davis winced.

"Well what did you expect sushi to be made out of?!"

"She sure is charming," Izzy said sarcastically.

"Hey! Excuse me!" a Kudomon slithered his way over to the kitchen window. "I was wondering when my chicken bites were going to be ready. I already asked this waiter three times, and he said it was going to take a while."

"Sir, we'll get right to that. I'm sorry to keep you waiting," Matt said.

"Davis, could we talk to you for a minute?" Izzy motioned Davis over.

"Sure, what's up?" Davis said.

"STOP EATING THE FOOD!" Matt screamed in Davis's face.

"But I can't help it. Those chicken bites are so good! How did you make that sauce?" Davis rubbed his belly.

"Okay, I took care of business," Marcus clapped his hands. Kazu and Kenta quietly limped to their cleaning stations. "What's going on?"

"Davis is eating the food before it gets to the customers, and Yolei's flipping out," Mimi said.

"Literally," Izzy sighed.

"Well, you know what?! Screw you too!" Yolei flipped a table to the side.

"YOLEI! GET OVER HERE!" Marcus screamed.

"Coming," Yolei happily skipped over to the kitchen. "What's up?"

"You two are working the kitchen," Marcus crossed his arms.

"But why?" Yolei asked.

"Are you seriously asking me? Look at this place! There's only one table that's standing upright!" Marcus gestured to the restaurant.

"It's the customers' fault. They don't know what they're ordering and they complain about it," Yolei explained.

"I don't care. Mimi and Izzy are going to take your places," Marcus said sternly.

"But-," Davis opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't question me! I'm the friggin' chef! Whatever I say goes! Now get over here!" Marcus yelled.

"You're gonna need this," Izzy pushed a pastry cart at Mimi. "You won't be able to drop dishes now."

* * *

_End of the shift..._

"Well, I don't know what to say. One kitchen looks like a scrap metal junkyard, and the other one is completely drenched. These kitchens are in much better condition than they usually are," Digitamamon shook his head, impressed. "Even though both teams did a fairly good job, one team won by a hair. We've went through all of the customer review cards and it's pretty interesting. What one team excelled in, the other team lacked."

"Kick-Ass Firepower, you guys got an average of 8/10 in service, but only a 4/10 when it came to the food. I guess some customers get really pissed when you guys had to take the mushrooms out of the menu. Oh, and one digimon said: 'Dessert was sloppy and disgusting', ha ha ha ha!," Gennai laughed. "Bamfs, you earned a perfect score of 10/10 in food-"

"Booyah!" Kazu and Kenta gave each other high-fives.

"What do you mean by 'Booyah'? You guys didn't do jack except piss us off," Matt clenched his fists.

"Apparently, Matt's Is She Da Hot Bitch sauce was a hit! What was in that sauce?" Gennai asked.

"Oh it's a secret. All I can say is that it was sweet and muy caliente," Matt winked.

"Just how I like my women! Mmm mmm mmm," Gennai said. "Unfortunately, you guys also got a 3/10 in service. Wanna hear some of the reviews people left behind?"

"No thank you," Mimi said.

"Okay then. Here goes: 'That purple haired girl is one crazy bitch!', 'I saw that gogglehead eat my food 3 times in a row! Luckily when I finally received the food, it was delicious', 'Do I still have to pay full price for a meal that was half-eaten by the time it got to the table?'"

"Davis..." Marcus growled.

"Heh heh?" Davis blushed.

"It was a close tie, but Kick-Ass Firepower will be attending the Campfire Ceremonies tonight," Gennai said.

* * *

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Zoe walked up to Tai, Kari, Kouichi, Sora, and Koji.

"Can you please leave? We're in the middle of an important conversation," Kari said.

"Why can't I be part of it?" Zoe stood akimbo.

"Because you're not important. Now leave," Koji smirked.

"You guys are unbelievable. Fine then!" Zoe stomped off.

"Don't you think that was a little mean?" Sora frowned.

"No. She's mean to us, why should we be nice to her?" Kari shrugged.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I understand that Zoe can be hard to deal with, but once you get to really know her, she's a caring, sweet girl. I mean, she lent some of her clothes to Rika, and I know that those two don't get along. I just wish that other people could see beyond her outside appearance," Sora sighed.

* * *

"Well, you guys already know how I feel about this, and there's no changing my mind. If you don't mind, I'll be with everyone else," Sora said.

"Okay then. Go," Tai said.

"Hey guys, is Takato fine?" Sora asked.

"Takatomon..." Takato slurred, resting his head on Rika's lap.

"Does that answer your question?" Rika petted Takato's hair.

"I think the goggles are only making it worse, but he won't let us take them off," Zoe said.

"So what are they talking about over there?" Zoe tilted her chin toward the other teammates.

"Yeah? They wouldn't let me hear anything either," Rika grunted.

"They're figuring out who they should send home," Sora sighed.

"And...?" Zoe asked.

"You'll guys find out in the campfire ceremonies," Sora swirled her finger in the dirt.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Well, what do you know? Zoe, you're in the hot seat once again. And this week, Takato's joining you. I don't mean to imply, but I'm pretty sure your teammates didn't think you guys were good chefs," Gennai chuckled. "Just one point...one point can either save your ass or send your ass home. Zoe?"

"Yeah?" she trembled.

"That one point...lets you stay one more week in the competition!" Gennai said.

"Why?" Zoe's jaw dropped.

"I know, I'm surprised too," Gennai snorted.

"We've talked about who we should get kicked out," Tai said.

"We thought you should get kicked out because it was your fault we had to deal with the mushrooms of forgetfulness," Kari grinned.

"But then, we thought we should vote Takato out because in his condition, he'll only drag our team down. If our team keeps losing, then there's less of a chance that any of us will stay in the competition much longer," Koji smirked.

"Hmph," Rika snorted.

"Also, since there aren't any doctors or nurses around, it's only for Takato's good that he leave the competition. When Ken got that stick through him, one of the cameramen said we should eliminate him so that he can get some medical help," Kouichi said.

"Hey! I'm offended by that!" Gennai said. "We have a first-aid kit and Joe!"

"Uh, Gennai? We eliminated Joe a while ago...and he took the first-aid kit with him," Tai said.

"Oh, whaddya know! Bye bye Takato! And remember, you signed the wavier so you can't sue us!" Gennai called out as an intern wheeled Takato away.

* * *

_Last words..._

"My name is Takatomon? I never knew that," Takato slurred.

"Kid, just drink this," a cameraman held a bottle of antidote up to Takato.

"Drink? I don't think Takatomon approves," Takato shook his head.


	16. The DARE Program

**Recap: **Gennai takes the teams to Digitamamon's diner, where they work at separate kitchens. The teams must decide on their menus, their cooks, their waitresses, and their clean-up crew. Zoe and Takato become co-chefs and they create an amazing menu. The BAMFs choose Marcus as their chef, and the team comes up with a menu inspired by Marcus's mom's homecooking. As the teams start preparing their food, Takato eats an ingredient that causes leaves him unable to cook, leaving the whole kitchen in chaos. Not that the BAMFs have chaos of their own: wet T-shirt contests, long lists of shrimp, terrible waiters, and Kazu and Kenta in general. It was a close tie, but Kick-Ass Firepower ends up attending the Campfire Ceremonies, and Takato is sent out of the competition for his own good. Sure...

* * *

**The D.A.R.E. Program: Dignified And Refined Entertainment**

"AAAHHHH!"

"Why did you have to wake us up?" Davis rubbed his eyes.

"The sun isn't even up yet!" Matt huffed.

"It's ten in the morning!" Yolei pulled all of the window shades up.

"Ahhh! So bright!" Kazu screamed. "What's wrong?" Mimi yawned.

"My pen is missing!" Yolei shrieked. "My pen!"

"What's so special about this pen that you had to scream your head off about it?" Marcus slurred into his pillow.

"It can-you know what? Never mind, I probably misplaced it somewhere. It's just a regular old pen...No biggie," Yolei giggled nervously.

"Hmmm," Izzy eyed Yolei suspiciously before he plopped back down on his bed.

* * *

_*SLAM*_

"What the-," Kouichi cringed at the sound of Yolei slamming her team's RV door shut.

"It's Yolei, don't even bother," Tai rolled his eyes.

"Uh huh," Kouichi cautiously nodded.

"What are you guys doing?" Kari loomed over Zoe and Sora.

"We're making friendship bracelets," Sora held up a couple of intertwined strings.

"You're making friendship bracelets with Zoe?" Kari asked.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Zoe pressed her lips together.

"No, I just thought you were supposed to make friendship bracelets with friends," Kari shrugged.

"Hey! What are you trying to say?!" Zoe got up from the ground.

"Leave her. She doesn't have much tact," Sora pulled Zoe back down.

"Okay," Zoe said wearily.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"So me and Sora made each other these awesome bracelets," Zoe held her wrist up to the camera. "She made me one with red, orange, and yellow string and it has a little heart charm on it. Isn't it cute? She said that my bracelet was inspired by her crest of love, whatever that means. "

* * *

"Zoe gave me a pink, lavender, and white bracelet with a butterfly charm," Sora tapped at the little charm. "She said she made it in the same colors of Kazemon, her human spirit. I have no idea what she means by a human spirit, but my bracelet's really pretty."

* * *

"What are you doing sitting by yourself, princess?" Koji leaned his arm against the caravan.

"You do know I have the right to kill you for calling me princess," Rika growled.

"Hah," Koji snorted. "Why aren't you with everyone else?"

"Why aren't you with everybody else?" Rika shot back.

"Because I'd rather be with you, my Digimon queen," Koji smirked.

"Ugh," Rika got up from the steps and walked away from him.

"Oooh...buuuurn!" Kazu jeered.

"Rejection!" Kenta said dramatically.

"Maybe next time, you should come up with a better pick-up line," Kazu teased.

"What?! What made you think I was flirting with _that_?" Koji frowned.

"He just called Rika a that. She'll so love to hear that," Kenta laughed.

"This is stupid. I don't have to waste my time with Dumb and Dumber," Koji stood up straight and walked away.

"And another success story!" Kazu high-fived Kenta.

"Okay everyone! Gather round!" Lily loudly clapped her hands and walked around the campgrounds. The contestants rushed over to Lily and sat down on the logs. "We're missing a couple of people. Where are they?"

"Oh, them. They've been sleeping in," Kazu said casually.

"Do we get a prize for being the early birds?" Kenta excitedly asked Lily.

"I'd like to kill two birds with one stone," Koji muttered.

"Wake them up! They're beginning to get on my bad side, and they're not even here," Lily growled.

"Okay, we'll do our best!" Kazu saluted Lily before he dashed to his team caravan. Yolei and Kenta ran after him.

_*CRASH* *BOOM* *CLANK CLANK CLANK* *KABLAM*_

"What's going on in there? It sounds like a war zone," Kouichi trembled.

"That's what you get for making everyone wait!" Kazu dragged Marcus out of the RV.

"And this is what you get for being so obnoxious," Marcus punched Kazu in the face.

"I can't believe I'm stepping out of here in my pajamas! I look crazy!" Mimi tugged at her silk camisole.

"At least we still look better than the other team," Davis said.

"Says the guy wearing boxers with rubber duckies on them," Matt scoffed.

"Who are you to talk? You're wearing footie pajamas," Izzy smirked.

"With a butt flap, may I add...," Yolei fidgeted with the flap on Matt's pajamas.

"I was cold last night!" Matt protested.

"Was your butt cold too?" Kenta giggled.

"Ahem!" Lily cleared her throat. "Get over here now!"

"Oh, sorry!" Davis blushed. Everyone awkwardly walked over to Lily and sat down on the logs with the rest of the contestants.

"What's up, Lil?" Marcus asked.

"Just wanted to give you guys an important announcement. I've been hearing these weird animal sounds going on for the past couple of days. I have no idea what it could be, so for everyone's safety, it would be highly recommended for you to stay inside the RVs at night! I thought it would be nice to let you guys know, so that you can't sue the show if you get hurt. Precautionary measures," Lily said.

"Animals? Like party animals? Oh no! What if it's LMFAO?! Those guys are so creepy!" Mimi whimpered.

"AHHHH! We're soooo dead! Don't step outside unless you want to get glow-in-the-dark speedos rubbed in your face!" Kenta freaked out.

"As long as you guys stay inside, you should be fine! Now get dressed. The next challenge is going to happen soon!" Lily clapped her hands and everyone ran inside their caravans.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I swear, the other team is filled with the moronic people ever. Whatever, that just means our team won't have a hard time beating them," Koji snorted.

* * *

"Hurry up and get lined up in your podiums, because this challenge is going to be very entertaining, hee hee...," Gennai rubbed his hands together.

"Why do I have a feeling that we should be scared?" Kouichi gulped.

"It's just a giant spinning wheel. And a couple of piggy banks. What's so scary about that?" Davis shrugged.

"This challenge isn't that scary at all," Gennai smiled. "You see this big wheel out here?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Yolei stuck her lip out.

"I made it myself!" Gennai giggled. "But in all seriousness, each person will take turns spinning the wheel. When the wheel stops, the arrow will point to a section of the wheel. I will take the card out of the section, and the person who spins the wheel will have to do the dare on the card. As long as they have a cop-out, the person can refuse to do the dare and can pass it to another member of their team or they can give the dare to the opposing team. Each team will have three cop-outs," Gennai placed three piggy banks on the teams' podiums. "These pigs are your cop-outs. Whenever you use a cop-out, you must smash one piggy bank. When you run out of piggy banks, you can't pass your dare on to anyone else. You can still reject the dare, but one point will be deducted from your score. If at the end of the game, you have any piggy banks left, you will get one extra point for each pig. Now let's get ready to play! Which team wants to go first?"

"We'll go first! We're not scared to do anything!" Tai said.

"Wow, we can see someone has some confidence," Gennai rubbed his chin, impressed. "Then come on up!"

Tai spun the wheel and closely watched it slowly stop moving. "Green? What does that mean?"

"Oh, the colors don't matter. What does matter is the dare on the card," Gennai ripped the card from the wheel and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Tai bit his lip.

"I dare you to take off your pants and wear them on you head for the rest of game," Gennai read the card. "If you don't want to do it, you can always use a cop-out..."

"No, that's fine! Whoop whoop!" Tai took off his short shorts and put them on his head. "I feel much better!" he smiled and walked back to the podium.

"Okay BAMFs, you're next! Marcus," Gennai called.

"I'm so gonna kick ass!" Marcus cracked his knuckles and put his hands on the wheel.

"Wait! Before you start, just try to spin the wheel gently. I spent a lot of time building that wheel," Gennai said.

"Okay," Marcus moved the wheel with his pinky. The arrow pointed to a blue section and Gennai took the card out.

"Do you like Madonna?" Gennai asked.

"No...what does that have to do with anything?" Marcus glared at him.

"Because for your dare, you have to wear a cone bra and sing a Madonna song, all while dancing!" Gennai grinned.

"Seriously?" Marcus raised an eyebrow.

"That's what it says on the card. You can always cop out of it though," Gennai taunted.

"No way in hell! I'm secure of my masculinity! Now gimme the bra!" Marcus said.

Gennai fastened the bra on Marcus. "Well...sing, boy, sing! And shake that money maker!" Gennai laughed.

"_I come home in the morning light, my momma says when you're gonna live your life right, oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones, and girls just wanna have fun...oh girls just wanna have fun_," Marcus droned as he unenthusiastically did the Thriller dance.

"Oh my gosh! This is beautiful!" Matt wiped a tear from his eye.

"Is this filming right now?" Kari laughed.

"Yes. This is a reality TV show. That means we're being filmed all the time," Rika spoke slowly.

"Uh Lil, does Marcus get a point? He didn't sing Madonna...," Gennai looked over to her.

"Eh, close enough. The BAMFs get one point!" Lily announced.

"Hah hah! We score! Now, can someone take this off?" Marcus turned his back to his teammates.

" Koji! You're up next," Gennai said.

"Oh brother," Koji rolled his eyes and spun the wheel.

"I dare you to make a rap about one of your teammates," Gennai read the card.

"Hee hee! This is gonna be great!" Kenta giggled.

"Hey! Maybe you should beatbox too!" Kazu heckled.

"Here goes," Koji smirked. "Rika Rika boom boom, pretty in a pink dress, Rika Rika boom boom, let's share a hotel room, Rika Rika boom boom, We could do this all night, Rika Rika boom boom, We can kiss and undress, Rika Rika boom boom, just press play and resume, Rika Rika boom boom, My touch will make you feel right-"

"Okay! That's enough!" Gennai cut Koji off. "One point for Kick-Ass!"

"Hey sexy," Koji blew a kiss to fuming Rika and stuck his tongue out.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I really can't stand that guy. It's like he _wants_ to piss me off. Trust me, me doesn't have to do much. I'm not a superstition freak, but I think Koji's cursed our team. That's why we've been screwing up lately," Rika pressed her lips together.

* * *

"Your turn, Yolei!" Gennai shook his head.

"I got this," Yolei flipped her hair and flashed a smile at her team.

"I dare you to...stick your head in a bucket of worms and get a packet of Skittles out," Gennai smirked.

"What?! There's no way I'm doing that!" Yolei shrieked.

"Do you wanna use a cop-out?" Gennai sang.

"Yes! Hand over the pig!" Yolei yelled. She smashed the piggy bank with a hammer.

"Nice! Now who do you choose to do it?" Gennai said.

"Pick meeeee! Pleaseee?!" Davis jumped up and down.

"Sure, I choose Davis," Yolei shrugged.

"Whoo hoo! Watch how a real man does this!" Davis snapped his goggles and walked over to a plastic box filled with worms.

"Before you dive in...," Gennai tied Davis's hands behind his back. "Try to do it without your hands."

"Oh, I will!" Davis smashed his face inside the box and moved his head around.

"Ew, I think I see a worm smooshed against the box," Mimi winced.

"Tada!" Davis gripped the bag of Skittles between his teeth.

"Congrats," Gennai said as he untied Davis.

"Can I keep the Skittles?" Davis held up the candy.

"Go ahead, you deserve it," Lily smiled. "Zoe, you're up!"

Zoe spun the wheel and Gennai pulled out a card. "Here's a two-pointer! You have to choose a teammate to help you out with this dare. You have to spread peanut butter on one of their feet, and jelly on the other. After that, you must lick it off. Are you up for that?" Gennai smirked.

"I'm up for it, but is anyone else?" Zoe said.

"Nuh uh," everyone shook their heads.

"Come on! This is a two-pointer for crying out loud! We can't waste this!" Zoe stomped her foot.

"Too bad. Nobody feels like doing it," Kari nonchantly shoved a piggy bank off of the podium and it shattered to the floor.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I wanna smack Kari so hard, her face falls out!" Zoe said. "Don't worry, I'll get her back one day. One day. I've already got a couple of things against her anyways. Kari, for messing around with me, you're gonna get a one-way ticket to the Loser Cruiser. You'll be gone before you can say 'adios'."

* * *

"Since Kick-Ass used their cop-out, any of you guys wanna take a crack at the dare?" Gennai looked at the BAMFs.

"We'll do it!" Kenta shot his hand up in the air.

"We?" Kazu squinted his eyes at Kenta.

"Yeah. It's not a big deal. You put on the peanut butter and jelly, and I'll lick it off," Kenta said.

"Of course he would say something like that," Matt muttered.

"We're ready!" Kazu took off his socks.

"Okay," Gennai spread some jam on Kazu's feet.

"Uhhh," Kenta shuddered as he licked jelly off of Kazu's feet.

"Stop it!" Kazu kicked Kenta in the face.

"Owww! What was that for?" Kenta wiped some peanut butter off of his face.

"You were tickling me!" Kazu whined as everyone watched them.

"Oh lord, just make it stop!" Gennai winced. "You guys get 2 points, just please stop doing the dare!"

"Good," Kazu slid his feet in the dirt and put his socks back on.

"Alright, since Kick-Ass handed their dare to the BAMFs, the BAMFs get to go up again," Gennai said.

"I guess that's me," Izzy sighed and walked to the wheel.

"I hope you like the cold, because this dare is super cool," Gennai laughed cynically. "You'll be tied up to a chair while one of your teammates drops ice cubes down your shirt."

"Oh boy," Izzy gulped.

"It's okay, just sit in the chair," Gennai pushed Izzy down into a seat and tied him up. "Mimi, can you get the ice cubes from Lily?"

"Sure thing," Mimi flounced over to Lily and grabbed a bowl. "What do I do with this?"

"Come over here," Gennai motioned her over. When Mimi walked over to Gennai, he said, "You're gonna put these ice cubes down his shirt. Ready Izzy?"

"No."

"Too bad," Gennai said.

"Huuuuh huuuh huuuh! Oh my god! This is cold! Get me out of here!" Izzy screamed.

"Not yet," Gennai picked at his sleeve. "How much ice is left?"

"This many," Mimi tilted the bowl up and the ice cubes fell out.

"Nice...Izzy, you lucked out. You guys get a point," Gennai shook his head.

"Yay!" Mimi jumped up and down and clapped her hands.

"Yeah. Yay us," Izzy shivered.

"Kari! You're next!" Gennai said, shoving Izzy out of the way. Kari spun the wheel and Gennai read the card the arrow landed on. "Are you thirsty?"

"Kinda. Why?" Kari asked.

"Good. Your team is going to make you a cocktail, and you have to drink it," Gennai said.

"Oooh, I love cocktails!" Kari squealed.

"Not so fast," Gennai smirked. "Your teammates are going to gargle a soda of their choice, spit it in a cup, and you have to drink it all!"

"Oh my god! That's so gross!" Kari gasped.

"So, do you want to do it?" Gennai raised his eyebrows up and down.

"No. Can one of you guys smash a pig?" Kari looked at her team with widened eyes.

"No," Zoe grabbed the two piggy banks. "You already smashed one of our pigs and I'm not letting you smash another one! And don't you dare try to take them from me, cause I'll drop them!" she threatened.

"Seems like your team doesn't want to help you out here," Gennai cackled. Lily walked over to the contestants carrying mini cups of soda on a tray.

"I'll have a shot of Dr. Pepper," Rika picked a Dixie cup up from the tray.

"Orange soda for me," Zoe said.

"I want grape!" Tai took a small cup of soda and gargled.

"Ready for your concoction?" Gennai asked as he passed around a red cup for everyone else to spit in.

"Uh..." Kari took the cup from Gennai and looked inside.

"Here's a straw if you want," Gennai handed her a twisty straw.

"Thanks," Kari wriggled her nose in disgust.

"Just remember, you have to drink the WHOLE thing," Gennai laughed.

"Yay..." Kari said in between sips. "I'm done?"

"Let me see," Gennai took the cup from Kari. "You've got a little bit left."

"Aww crud," Kari whined and gulped the rest of the spit soda.

"There we go! Good girl!" Gennai looked inside the cup and nodded. "Kick-Ass gets one point! Mimi, your turn!"

"Okay," Mimi strutted her way to the wheel and spun it.

"Heh heh! I dare you to ride a unicycle!"

"But I don't know how to ride that!" Mimi shrieked.

"Don't worry, the unicycle will be tied to a jeep! Now here's your helmet and hold on tight," Gennai wheeled the unicycle toward Mimi.

"I don't feel too good," Mimi stuttered, put on her helmet, and steadied herself on the unicycle.

"It's okay! After you throw up, you'll feel much better!" Gennai grinned.

"Wha-wha-what?!" Mimi screamed as the jeep started driving in circles. "Eeeeekkkk!"

"God, I love my job!" Gennai cackled. "Okay, you can stop now!" he yelled at the driver. The jeep came to a sudden halt, and Mimi crashed face-first into the jeep's trunk. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt! At least that pain earns your team one point! Kouichi! Get your ass up here!" Gennai yelled. After Kouichi moved the wheel, Gennai ripped the card out. "Kouichi. I dare you to use whipped cream to make a beard and to style your hair into a mohawk. And you have to stay like that for the rest of the challenge."

"Okay, that doesn't sound bad," Kouichi shrugged.

"Let me do the whipped cream!" Lily shook a can of whipped cream and ran over to Kouichi. "Here's a beard," she sprayed some whipped cream on his chin. "And here's your pomade," she squirted some whipped cream into her palm, smooshed it around a little, then started applying the cream on Kouichi's hair. "And that's how a real Mohawk is done," Lily winked.

"Wow, Kouichi! Looking good," Kari giggled.

"Thanks," Kouichi blushed.

"Alright Mattycakes! Ready to face your doom?" Gennai rubbed his hands together.

"Sure, whatever," Matt shrugged. Matt grabbed the pegs of the wheel and pushed it.

"Boop boop beep beep," Gennai made sound effects when the wheel started to slow down. "And your dare is...to wrap yourself in bubble wrap and let the opposing team hit you with inflatable baseball bats for one minute!"

"What?! That has to be the stupidest thing I ever heard of!" Matt grimaced.

"You can always cop-out," Gennai stroked a piggy bank.

"No thanks. Hit me with your best shot," Matt smirked. Lily wrapped him up in the bubble wrap and Gennai handed bats to the other team.

"And the timer starts...NOW!" Gennai moved his arm sideways.

_*Bop bop bop bop*_ "This doesn't hurt one bit!"_ *BOP*_ "Okay, who hit me in the face?!"_ *Bop bop bop*_ "Alright, alright! Hit me anywhere except in the balls!" Matt yelled as the other team bashed him with their inflatable clubs.

"Time's up! I'll take my bats back, thank you very much," Gennai said. "For being such a badass motherfucker, you earned the BAMFs one point! Step up, Sora!"

"Okay," she breathed. She rolled her shoulders and walked over to spin the wheel.

"Let's see what this card says...oh," Gennai covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh what?" Sora took several deep breaths.

"This challenge has to be the worst one so far," Gennai shook his head.

"What do I have to do?" Sora asked.

"You don't wanna know," Gennai's voice was muffled by his hand.

"I have to know what it is, so tell me!" Sora trembled.

"You have to...eat one of Mrs. Kamiya's latest creations," Gennai squeaked.

"Did someone call my name?" Mrs. Kamiya beamed. She pushed a pastry cart over to Sora. "You're gonna love this! I call this Thunder Cake!"

"Why? Is it because you feel like you'll thunder in your pants after eating it?" Gennai stared at the cake.

"No! It's just chocolate cake with tomatoes! What's wrong with that?" Mrs. Kamiya shrugged.

"I do like chocolate. And I've been to your house enough to get familiar with your cooking," Sora shakily picked up a fork and stuck it in to the cake. She put the cake in her mouth and automatically spit it out. "Oh my god! What is this?!"

"Tomato, tomato paste, it's all the same," Mrs. Kamiya breezily said. "Do you like it?"

"Honestly, it's one of the best creations you made," Sora said as she scooped another piece of cake in her mouth.

"Seriously?" Tai made a face.

"Yep," Sora nodded and finished the rest of the cake slice.

"Nice! I would give you two points for that, but I can't," Gennai wrapped his arms around Sora.

"You're a lucky girl! You get to eat cake and earn points!" Mrs. Kamiya smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now get back to the kitchen," Gennai pushed Mrs. Kamiya to the side.

"My turn!" Kazu bounced over to the wheel and spun it.

"Wow, someone's more than excited too...," Gennai picked up a card. "To brush your teeth for 60 seconds with a toothbrush your teammate used to scrub his armpit with! Gross, right?"

"I've done grosser," Kazu said.

"Of course he has," Matt smirked.

"Okay, hand the toothbrush to one of your teammates," Gennai gave Kazu a toothbrush.

" PICK ME!" Kenta flailed his arms.

"Yolei?" Kazu held the toothbrush up to her.

"No way," Yolei crossed her arms.

"MEEEE!" Kenta screamed.

"Marcus?" Kazu begged. Marcus only shook his head.

"HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? I'M OVER HERE!"

"Heh, I think you have a volunteer over there," Marcus pointed to Kenta.

"Fine...," Kazu trudged over to Kenta. "Will you do me the honors?"

"Yes!" Kenta snatched the toothbrush and stuck it under his shirt. "Almost...done! Here you go buddy!"

"Thanks," Kazu looked at the yellow toothbrush and breathed heavily. "Here goes...," he stuck toothbrush in his mouth and swirled it around.

"10...9...8...7...," Gennai counted down. "6...5...4...3...2...Time! How did that feel?"

"It tasted like if my grandma sprayed her cat in vinegar and then rolled it around in dirty cat litter," Kazu replied.

"Don't want to know how you would even know that...but at least the BAMFs are ahead by 1 point! Rika, your turn!"

"Great, what do I have to do?" Rika grumbled.

"Whatever the card tells you to do, which is...to act like one of your teammates and have the team guess who you're imitating," Gennai said.

"Easy," Rika said. "Hey everyone! I'm a jackas-"

"KOJI!" everyone instantly said.

"What?" Koji looked around.

"How did you know?" Rika pretended to be shocked.

"Impressive! Didn't even finish a sentence, and your team guessed right in less than 5 seconds! You could make a great actress!" Gennai patted Rika on the back.

"Don't touch me," Rika said.

"Sorry!" Gennai stepped back.

* * *

_Two hours later..._

"Okay, we're almost done with all of our dares. To give a little rundown, the BAMFs are ahead of Kick-Ass by one point. The BAMFs have used up two of their cop-outs, but Kick-Ass still has two left. And now, Yolei's turn to spin the wheel," Gennai said. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Yolei said blandly as she turned the wheel.

"And your dare is to...give a piggyback ride to each member of the opposite team," Gennai said.

"What?! I can't do that! I'm not strong enough to carry everyone! I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to use the last cop-out," Yolei picked up a piggy bank and threw it on the ground.

"Who do you choose to do this dare?" Gennai asked.

"Marcus," Yolei said.

"I can do that. It's a piece of cake," Marcus nodded. "Now who wants to ride the Damon Express?"

"Hah hah, he said Damon Express," Kazu giggled.

"Come on Tai. Don't be afraid to ride me!" Marcus smirked.

"Fine," Tai groaned.

"Whheeee! Wheeeeee!" Marcus ran around the podiums a couple of Tai and dropped him on the floor. "Who's next?"

"This is stupid," Koji grunted as he sat on Marcus's shoulders.

"This is funner than I expected!_ Molto divertente_!" Zoe squealed.

"Wow, Marcus. You have really strong muscles," Kari smiled.

"How come she never says that about me?" Davis pouted.

"Should I even answer that?" Matt shook his head.

After Marcus finished giving the other team piggyback rides, he went back to his podium. "And another point for the BAMFs! Zoe, ready to come on up?"

"Sure thing!" Zoe marched up to the wheel and spun it around. When the wheel stopped, Gennai read the card.

"You have to stay inside a box filled with mice for 5 minutes," Gennai pushed a transparent box over to her. "Think you can handle that?"

"Sure can," Zoe whimpered. "I totally can. How do I get in?"

"Like this," Gennai opened the box and threw Zoe in. "Remember, 5 minutes!" he locked the box.

"Uhhh, uhhh, ahhhhh! This is disgusting! I wanna get out of hereee..." Zoe whined.

"Hee hee, look at all the rats crawling all over her! It's so funny when she's freaking out," Kari giggled.

"Okay, Zoe! You can get out of the box now!" Gennai opened the box and Zoe popped out.

"Oh my god, it feels good to get out!" Zoe gasped for air.

"The mice think so too. Run free, little mice!" Gennai tilted the box over so that all of the mice escaped. "Four dares left. We'll see which one Davis will get!"

"Hopefully it isn't anything embarrassing," Davis laughed.

"Oh honey, all of these dares are embarrassing in one way or another," Gennai scoffed. "In your case, you'll be stripping down!"

"Yay!" Kari blurted but quickly covered her mouth.

"Did you just say 'yay'?" Kouichi's voice shook.

"You didn't here anything! You're just being crazy!" Kari laughed nervously and blushed.

"Davis, you'll have to give every member of your team an article of clothing," Gennai said.

"Dude...seriously?" Davis huffed. "Here's a jacket for Marcus," Davis handed his jacket to Marcus. "A shirt for Yolei," he took off his shirt. "Izzy can finally get in my pants..."

"What?!" Izzy yelled.

"Yeah! You know you like it. Cargo and everything!" Davis pulled his pants down and gave them to Izzy. "Mimi can have my goggles. Kazu can have my sneakers, and Kenta gets my socks. I feel like Santa Claus right now...only handsomer, nakeder, and did I mention sexier?"

"Yes he did," Kari sighed. "What do I get for being a bad girl?"

"What did you say?" Zoe squinted her eyes at her.

"Nothing! Geez, is it me or are people hearing things?" Kari blushed.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Let's just say Kari has a dirty little secret. And I have proof," Zoe clicked a pen several times.

* * *

"Thank you Santa, now go back with your team," Gennai laughed. "Kari, come on up!"

"Coming," Kari skipped over to turn the wheel.

"Someone's getting herself a little makeover," Gennai read from the card. "The person to your left will be blinded and they will put makeup on you. You have to stay in the makeup for the rest of the day."

"Okay, no big deal," Kari shrugged.

"Here you go," Lily handed Zoe a makeup case.

"_She's_ doing my makeup?" Kari squeaked.

"Yeah...she is the person to your left," Gennai said as if Kari was stupid.

"Oh boy," Kari heaved.

"Don't be such a scaredy cat," Zoe scoffed as Lily blindfolded her.

"Have fun!" Lily handed Zoe a lipstick and stepped back.

"Oh, I will," Zoe grinned. "Now, Kari...where are you?"

"Over here," Kari sighed.

"Good. First of all, let me give you a red lip," Zoe took the lipstick and smeared it all over Kari's face. "Oops...sorry...I can't see where I'm drawing! I think we're done with the lipstick anyway," Zoe threw the lipstick to the side. "Now time for the eyeshadow," Zoe groped around the podium for an eyeshadow kit. "Perfetto! What color do you want? Oh wait...it doesn't matter because I can't see!" Zoe dipped her fingers in orange eyeshadow and erratically swirled it on Kari's cheek. "That doesn't feel like an eyelid. Let me try again on the other side," Zoe blindly scrubbed her pinky in a bright blue eyeshadow and rubbed the makeup on Kari's forehead. "Crap, I guess I missed again," Zoe pouted. "Oh well, I think I'm done here..."

"And so is Kari," Gennai cackled. Lily took off Zoe's blindfold and Zoe started laughing.

"Oh my god! You look so stupid!" Zoe laughed.

"You sure do," Gennai cracked up. "Lily, how are you not laughing at this?"

"I've seen girls doing their makeup like this in my sorority days. It's nothing out of the ordinary if you went to a party college," Lily shrugged. "Don't worry, Kari. You still look like a doll to me."

"Which doll? Late-Night Subway Slut Barbie?" Rika muttered.

"Izzy, it's your turn!" Gennai said.

"Great...I wonder what I'll have to do this time," he groaned.

"You will..." Gennai said. "Pick one member of your team and swap gum with them."

"That sounds normal," Izzy shrugged.

"No, I'm gonna give you two pieces of gum. You chew one piece, and pick one of your teammates to chew the other piece. Then I'll give you guys a minute to swap the gum, using your mouths," Gennai said.

"So it's like kissing?" Izzy grimaced.

"Yes, boy, yes! Haven't you ever done that before? Now here's the gum," Gennai gave Izzy some gum. Izzy put one piece of mint gum in his mouth and looked around at his teammates.

"Don't you even think about looking at me," Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"Trust me, I won't!" Izzy shook his head. He scanned around the podium and sighed. "Great...it's down to Yolei and Mimi. I can't back down, or else the team will lose a point."

"Hard choice," Gennai rubbed his chin. "If it makes it any easier, I hear that Yolei's a good kisser. She bites and everything. Ask Thomas!"

"No thanks," Izzy grimaced. "Are you up for it?" he handed a stick of cinnamon gum to Mimi.

"I guess if that means our team will win," Mimi casually took the gum and chewed it.

"Okay you crazy kids! I'll give you guys a minute starting...NOW!" Gennai tapped on his watch. Izzy gingerly moved his face closer to Mimi's and pressed his lips against hers. "Psst, Lily!"

"What?" Lily put her hands on her hips.

"Would this count as one of the show's make out moments?" Gennai asked eagerly.

"Why the hell not? The footage of Thomas giving TK CPR is on the moments list," Lily shrugged.

Mimi grabbed Izzy's head and pulled him closer to her. "Mmmeee, met whoa mmi fass," Izzy struggled to say. "Mmm dnn, mme mann mop moaw!"

"And...TIME!" Gennai said. "Open your mouths!" he looked inside Izzy's and Mimi's mouth to examine the gum. "Cool! The BAMFs get one more point!"

"Awesome!" Mimi squealed.

"Yeah...awesome," Izzy tried to catch his breath, his face completely blue.

"Our last dare goes to...Kouichi! Don't even bother spinning the wheel, there's only one card left," Gennai said. "And the last dare is painfully entertaining! Koiuchi, strip down to your underwear and sit on this chair," Gennai tapped the back of a wooden chair. "One of your teammates will wrap you around in duct tape, and then rip it off quickly. Now who wants to be the lucky tape-ripper?"

"I'll do it!" Kari raised her hand.

"Then come on up, little lady!" Gennai grinned.

"Kouichi, just take off your clothes," Kari giggled.

"Okay," Kouichi had a silly smile on his face.

"Sit down while I tie you down," Kari whispered in Kouichi's ear, wrapping him head-to-toe in tape.

"Ready to rip it off?" Gennai asked.

"That's what she said," Koji muttered.

"Cute one, Koji..." Gennai huffed.

"I'm ready!" Kari quickly ripped the tape off Kouichi's body.

"GAAAAHHHH! OWWWW! AHHHHH!" Kouichi screamed.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Why do I find myself jealous of Kouichi at the moment? The guy's in pain!" Davis shrugged.

* * *

"Nice! Kick-Ass did a wonderful job of completing the last dare!" Gennai clapped his hands. "Now it's time to tally up the scores! Kick-Ass has 34 points and the BAMFs have 35 points. Because they only used one cop-out, Kick-Ass also gets 2 extra points, which makes them ahead of the BAMFs by one point. Since the BAMFs used up all of their cop-outs, they do not get any additional points. Kick-Ass Firepower wins the challenge! BAMFs, meet me at the campfire at a quarter to nine. Ciao for now!"

"By one stinking point. One freaking point! And we were ahead of those guys!" Marcus raged. "Why did we have to break all of our piggy banks?! Why?!"

"Calm down. We'll just worry about elimination later," Matt said. "All you have to do is vote out the person who you don't want to be around for another week."

"I guess you're right. I have an idea of who should go home," Marcus glared at Kazu and Kenta.

* * *

"I'm sorry that you had to eat my mom's cake," Tai said.

"That's okay. Like I said before, it's probably one of her best desserts so far," Sora giggled.

"Are you delusional? The woman can't cook!" Tai was shocked.

"Are you forgetting that I've been to your house a lot of times? I think I can handle your mom's cooking a little better than anyone else could. Including you," Sora smirked.

"I guess I did forget. Man, I miss the good old days of playing soccer and hanging out after school. Now that you're playing tennis and I'm trying to take school a little more seriously...the coach won't let me play soccer if I don't get at least a C, it's like we don't get to see each other as much anymore. Pretty sad how a competition is like the only way we could actually spend time together."

"Really?" Sora looked into Tai's eyes.

"I mean, all of us as a group! Yeah, that's what I meant, heh heh!" Tai flustered.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Sora sighed. "S'more?" she handed Tai a bag of marshmallows.

"Sure. Where did you get the good stuff?" Tai asked.

"I swiped some from Digitamamon's diner. You never know when there's a s'more emergency," Sora smiled.

Kari?" Kouichi inched his way toward Kari, who was sitting on a log.

"Hi! What's up?" she smiled at him.

"I have to tell you something important..." Kouichi scratched the back of his head.

"Okay. What is it?" Kari looked at him.

"I-I-I...," Kouichi stammered.

"Uh huh," Kari nodded her head. "Take your time."

"I like...," Kouichi bit his lip.

"Yeah," Kari gave him a concerned look.

"I like...ice cream," Kouichi laughed nervously.

"That's...great. I like ice cream too," Kari leaned up against the log.

"Okay, gotta go," Kouichi ran off to the trailer.

"Psst, hey buddy!" Koji pulled Kouichi to behind the trailer.

"What?" Kouichi turned red.

"Nice one there. I saw what happened," Koji smirked.

"What?" Kouichi repeated.

"Hah, you're not gonna get anywhere if all you do is talk about ice cream," Koji snickered.

"Great," Kouichi pushed his hair back. "I can't believe you saw that!"

"Hey, don't stress it. I'll give you a few pointers if you want," Koji patted his brother on the back.

"I don't think I want your help...," Kouichi said. "I don't think you're exactly winning Rika over, especially with that rap of yours."

"For the last time, I don't like her! Seriously. Let's just get inside," Koji shook his head and shoved Kouichi inside the trailer.

"Hmmm," Zoe peeked out from the back of the trailer. "That skanky slutfaced tease! Why does everyone like her so much?! She's not even that cute...that whorebag."

* * *

"Why are you making us stay inside?" Izzy groaned.

"Because LMFAO might strike at any moment," Kenta said.

"But why does Yolei get to be outside?" Matt huffed.

"Because she's annoying," Kazu said.

"And she does likes getting neon speedos rub against her face," Davis nodded.

"Yeah, I can see that," Marcus winced. "But still, I can manage being outside! The ultimate fighter never runs away from a fight!"

"What does that have to do with anything though?" Izzy asked.

"Look, I can take those clowns! I mean, how strong can they be when all they do grind on the camera lens?" Marcus laid on horizontally on his bed and put his feet against the wall.

"I'm bored...," Mimi whined.

"But can we do when you can't let us step out of the trailer?" Matt said.

"Digimon cards?" Kazu suggested.

"You know how offensive that is? This game is just a commercial ploy to make you buy all of these stupid cards AND it makes us look like us original Digidestined are nothing more than fictional characters!" Matt growled.

"That's true. That game only mocks our existence," Izzy said.

"Anyone else has any great ideas?" Marcus slammed his fist against his palm.

"We could play Uno! But I only have one card," Mimi held up a green card with the number five on it.

"Seriously?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"I got a great idea! Let's dig through Yolei's stuff!" Kazu ran over to Yolei's duffel bag.

"Oooh! That sounds like fun!" Mimi squealed.

"Meh, why the hell not?" Marcus shrugged.

"It's not like we have anything better to do," Matt said.

"Just in case, I'll lock the door!" Kenta rushed to the caravan door and locked it.

"There's her scrapbook!" Matt pulled the book from the duffel bag.

"Let's take a look at it! I bet there's embarrassing things in there! Why else wouldn't she want us to look at it?" Davis said.

"Yay! We're gonna look at embarrassing stuff!" Mimi clapped her hands in delight.

"Oh...my...GOD!" Marcus slammed the scrapbook shut.

"What's in there?" Davis took the book from Marcus.

"I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna kill her!" Marcus pounded his fists together.

"Hoooly CRAP!" Davis's mouth hung open.

"What is it? We wanna know!" Mimi sat next to Davis. Izzy and Matt hovered above them.

"Oh my god," Izzy's jaw dropped. The scrapbook included various photos of Kazu singing in a hairbrush while wearing a Hannah Montana wig, Davis with his hand inside his boxers, Mimi petting Izzy in his sleep, Matt sleeping with the butt flap of his footie pajamas open, Kenta trying on Mimi's clothes, Izzy reading "PC for Dummies", and Marcus picking his nose.

"You wore my clothes?!" Mimi shrieked.

"Well, you looked awfully chummy taking advantage of a sleeping Izzy. Who's the creeper now?" Kenta stuck his tongue out.

"Speaking of taking advantage of sleeping people, I swear my pajamas were closed all the way!" Matt said.

"At least you're not pretending to be something you aren't _*cough cough* _Izzy _*cough cough*._ Yep," Kazu shot Izzy a look.

"What?!" Izzy yelled.

"And I thought you were a computer genius...I don't see many geniuses reading books made for dummies," Kazu shook his head.

"Well, at least I'm not pretending to be some teenage girl popstar," Izzy said.

"Is anyone gonna say anything about my hands inside my pants?" Davis said.

"Nope. I don't think any of us are surprised," Marcus jeered.

"Shut up, you nose picker," Davis pouted.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Don't you guys just love the suspense of the Campfire Ceremonies? That adrenaline pumping through your veins with the uncertainty of whether you're going to be safe or eliminated?" Gennai grinned. The only sound heard was the crickets chirping. "Fine, I guess you guys aren't exactly thrill seekers. Kazu, Yolei! You two received the highest votes for elimination. Kinda funny how most of the votes were unanimous...now who gets to board the Loser Cruiser? Kazu..."

"What?! What did I do?!" Kazu panted.

"You get to stay for the next challenge!" Gennai said.

"But why?" Yolei whined.

"Wanna know why?" Matt said. "You were the one who used all of our cop-outs!"

"True, but-" Yolei said sheepishly.

"And you tried to blackmail us!" Davis held up her scrapbook.

"And we don't want to be blackmailed!" Mimi crossed her arms.

"This is like Vegas! Whatever happens here stays here!" Marcus growled.

"Well, until this season finishes filming...but that's not the point! The point is you overstepped our boundaries," Izzy said.

"And Izzy's just mad because he got caught in the act," Kazu smirked.

"So did you," Kenta laughed.

"Shut up! You act like you didn't do anything embarrassing!" Kazu yelled back.

"ANYWAY!" Davis hollered. "We're used to having you sexually take advantage of us, but this book is going too far!" Davis held the book up to the campfire. "And here we are, ready to commence our symbolic book-burning ceremony!" Davis dropped the scrapbook in the fire.

"Yayyyy!" everyone else cheered.

"Brutal," Gennai laughed. "This is probably the most embarrassing elimination so far!"

"So take a picture of that. Maybe it'll last longer," Mimi said.

"You guys are...unbearable!" Yolei shrieked and stomped away.

"God, I love my job," Gennai grinned.

* * *

_Last words..._

"Those amateurs think they can pull a fast one on me! Did they even bother to think that I have a backup?" Yolei held up a scrapbook. "I'm not worried if this one gets destroyed though. The pictures are already saved on to my computer...and you never know if someone 'accidentally' leaks these photos onto the internet. Mwah ha ha ha ha hah!"


	17. Trust Me, I'm Untrustworthy

**Recap:** Yolei's a spaz, Zoe seems to be making friends, Koji pisses people off, and Kazu and Kenta are annoying, but that's nothing new compared to Matt wearing footie pajamas, and the possibility of LMFAO lurking at night. Possibly out of boredom or possibly out of revenge or whatnot, Gennai sets the kids up for a truth-or-dare game, only without the truth part. The contestants have to do a bunch of insane dares, from impersonating Madonna (or Cyndi Lauper), using an armpit toothbrush, styling hair in a mohawk using whipped cream, drinking a spit cocktail, or even swapping gum (and spit) with another teammate. Talk about gross! Some dares were too outrageous for one person to do, and other dares were done with a brave face. Each team had three chances to avoid a dare, and Yolei took every chance she got. Unfortunately, that landed the BAMFs in the Campfire Ceremonies and Yolei was eliminated for very good reasons, including blackmail. Sometimes taking chances isn't always the best thing to do.

* * *

**Trust Me, I'm Untrustworthy**

"Shut up! It didn't mean anything! It was just a stupid dare!" Izzy turned red.

"That's what they all say," Kenta sneered.

"So why did you pick Mimi?" Kazu smirked.

"Leave him alone. At least he picked a girl, something you guys wouldn't do," Matt rolled his eyes.

"But he could have also picked Yolei! There were two girls on the team, so Izzy had a choice," Kazu grinned.

"And I chose not to have my face bitten off," Izzy's eyebrow twitched.

"I would have done the same thing, especially with what Gennai said. Poor Thomas," Marcus shuddered.

"Didn't Yolei kiss him for a whole hour or so?" Davis winced.

"I heard that after their snog-fest, Thomas had to give himself stitches because his lips were so shredded, they looked like party streamers," Marcus grimaced.

"Gross," Matt made a face.

"But Izzy didn't have to pick Mimi! He had other options," Kenta had a sinister smile on his face.

"Let it go! It wasn't like he could choose what dare he wanted to do," Marcus said.

_*SLAM*_

"Whoa! What was that?" Kazu jumped.

"Way to go! You pissed him off," Matt said. "Happy now?"

"Not really. We wanted to keep making fun of him. Now we're bored," Kenta pouted.

"Me too. I'm going outside," Davis left the RV.

"Same here. Tonight seems to be the perfect night for some music," Matt picked up his acoustic guitar and walked out.

"But what about LMFAO?!" Kenta shrieked.

"I don't care. They're probably not as annoying as you two," Marcus said.

"What do you have against U2? Those guys are bitchin'!" Kazu gasped.

"Especially with that Mysterious Ways song. Man, that's the best!" Kenta said.

"Look here, chumley! Everyone knows that Pride is the best U2 song!" Kazu grabbed Kenta by his shirt.

"As if! You're just mad because I'm right!" Kenta squeaked.

"Pfft, you wish! Just admit it-"

"Kazu? Where did everyone go?" Kenta asked.

"What the...," Kazu let go of Kenta and looked around the trailer. "Everyone left."

"So we're all by ourselves," Kenta sighed. "All alone."

* * *

"BAAAHHHH!" Zoe kicked the caravan.

"Zoe, what's wrong?" Sora walked over to her.

"Nothing," Zoe fumed.

"You know you can always tell me anything. That's what friends do," Sora put her hand on Zoe's shoulder.

"Okay," Zoe looked around her. "I can't stand Kari."

"That's not much of a secret," Sora raised an eyebrow. "But why do you hate her?"

"Because she's a slutbag teasing whore!" Zoe dug her heel into the dirt.

"What did she do?" Sora asked.

"You know why she pisses me off? Everyone likes her even though she likes messing with people's heads. She flirts with all of these boys, and she just likes to lead them on," Zoe sighed.

"Why does that bother you so mu- oh...I get it! You like someone," Sora said.

"What?!" Zoe shrieked.

"I don't know of many girls who would be upset with a girl like Kari, unless they like a guy the girl's flirting with," Sora said. "Now spill! Who is it?"

"Nobody. I'm just concerned for Kouichi. He's like family to me, all of the Legendary Warriors are...even JP. Even if we don't get along all the time, in the end, we always watch out for each other," Zoe said. "Kouichi's a nice guy and I don't think it's fair how Kari leads him on."

"I haven't seen Kari flirting with him...I don't think," Sora tilted her head.

"Just look," Zoe gestured to Kari and Kouichi. "That guy is so in love with her! Just look at that stupid smile on his face! See how nervous he acts around her? I know Kouichi's a pretty shy person, but when he's around her, he acts 100 times shyer, and I didn't even think that was possible! And she's just teasing him! I saw her fooling around with-never mind..."

"Nuh uh, you're not getting off that easy. Who was she fooling around with?" Sora asked.

"Davis," Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's not new. She's been teasing that guy for years. She knows he's insanely in love with her, so she likes to get under his skin. Sometimes she flirts with TK in front of- wait a minute! You're completely right, she is a tease! All of those years of her purposely sending Davis mixed signals or dangling TK in front of his face! And she's probably doing the same thing to Kouichi," Sora rubbed her chin. "But who would Kari use to make Kouichi jealous with? It can't be Tai...because if it is, she's got deeper issues than her flirting. Maybe it's Koji. It has to be! Putting brother against brother!" Sora gasped. "She just looks so sweet on the outside, nobody would have ever guessed she's an evil little minx. I can't even look at her the same way anymore. I can't...I'm just glad to know that you feel comfortable enough to be open with me. I know I can trust you!" Sora said.

"And I know I can trust you," Zoe held up her pinky. "And I mean that. Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise," Sora smiled and wrapped her pinky around Zoe's.

* * *

"Hey Izzy!" Mimi happily skipped over to him.

"What?" Izzy groaned.

"Nothing. What are you doing sitting here?" Mimi asked.

"I can't stay in that caravan with Kazu and Kenta," Izzy shook his head.

"What did they do this time?" Mimi giggled.

"Nothing."

"Come on! Tell me, tell meeeee!" Mimi tugged at his arm.

"It's not even worth talking about. They're just being annoying as usual," Izzy said.

"Now I really wanna know! What did they do? Tell me! Pretty please with ice cream and jimmies and cherries and hollandaise sauce and gummy bears and Oreo crumbles and pancakes and beet juice and sweet potato fr-"

"Okay, stop!" Izzy buried his head in his hands.

"On top...," Mimi trailed off.

"I'll tell you! Just please stop piling weird combinations of food on top!" Izzy yelled.

"Thank you! That's all I wanted," Mimi grinned.

"Kazu and Kenta were just making fun of what I did in the last challenge. They were getting on my nerves, so I came out here. That's it," Izzy shrugged.

"That's it? That was pretty boring. So I take back the cherries and hollandaise. You can keep the rest," Mimi said.

"You're a quirky person, you know that?" Izzy let out a little laugh.

"Did I just get a smile out of you?" Mimi poked Izzy on the cheek.

"Maybe," Izzy said.

"How about now?" Mimi gave Izzy a quick peck on the lips but Izzy stood rigid and silent. "I guess not. I'll see you back at the trailer?" her voice quivered and her eyes began to water up.

"Sure," Izzy watched as she dashed back to the campgrounds.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I feel like a huge jerk but I'm not risking getting my hopes high. Let's get real, what's the point of us being together if we're probably not going to last long anyway? Just a couple of weeks ago, she was heels over head for Thomas. I guarantee that by the end of the week, her feelings about me will pass on," Izzy shrugged.

* * *

"Are you sure we won't get caught?" Kari asked.

"Don't worry, everyone else is asleep!" Davis said. "Besides, I don't think my team cares as much as your team does. From what I hear, your team sounds paranoid, mostly that Zoe girl."

"I am not paranoid!" Zoe mumbled, hiding in the bushes.

"Did you say anything?" Davis asked.

"No?" Kari gave him a strange look.

"Oh...I swear I heard someone say something. It's probably just in my head," Davis said.

"Maybe this is a bad idea. I'll head back to my RV before anyone catches me," Kari pulled away from Davis.

"You've already been caught, you sneaky slut!" Zoe quietly hissed.

"Did you just call me a slut?" Kari asked.

"See, I'm not being crazy! You heard something too!" Davis whisper-yelled.

"I have a bad feeling about this. We should do this another time," Kari rubbed her arm.

"Classic Kari move._ Let's do this another time_," Zoe mimicked.

"I think we're both just nervous," Davis said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, we've done this a million times before," Kari smiled.

"Yeah, more like a million and one times," Zoe rapidly clicked a pen.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. I have a foolproof plan," Davis took out his MP3 player and plugged it into his portable speaker set.

"How is music going to help?" Kari said.

"No one will want to leave their trailers if they think LMFAO is on the loose," Davis fiddled with his MP3 player and pressed play.

"_We LMFAO, rock the beat and rock the show..._"

"Nice music," Kari giggled.

"Why thank you!" Davis winked.

"It feels good to have some time to ourselves," Kari smiled.

"It sure does," Davis wrapped his arms around Kari and they began to make out.

* * *

"I'm so tired," Matt yawned.

"Me too! I couldn't sleep at all last night," Tai grumbled.

"All I could hear was LMFAO and stupid giggling," Koji crankily said. "It sounded like a little girl laugh."

"Do I really sound like that?" Davis whispered into Kari's ear. Kari quietly replied by nodding her head.

"I hate to say this, but I think you guys were right," Marcus said to Kazu and Kenta. "I can't get that stupid song out of my head..._party rock is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time, we gonna make you lose your mind, we just wanna see ya shake that.._."

"_Everyday I'm shufflin'_!" Kouichi sang along.

"We told you! LMFAO's lurking around!" Kenta said.

"And you thought we were being stupid," Kazu smirked.

"You still are stupid," Rika said.

"Amen to that," Koji nodded.

"She speaks the truth," Marcus said.

"Yep," everyone else agreed.

"Fine! I guess we finally know how you feel! Kenta, let's go," Kazu turned his nose up in the air.

"Yeah," Kenta stomped away, following Kazu.

"Yayyy!" everyone cheered.

"Did they just 'yay' us when we left?" Kazu sounded shocked.

"Yep, they totally 'yay'-ed," Kenta sighed.

"Please, it's not because of you! It's because I'm here! I do have that effect on people," Gennai winked.

"Believe what you want, Gennai. Just know that it doesn't make it true," Lily shoved Gennai out of the way and walked toward the contestants. "Okay kids, gather up!"

"What's the next challenge?" Tai asked.

"Can you guys trust each other?" Lily put her hands on her hips.

"No...," everyone said in unison.

"But what does that have to do with anything?" Sora asked.

"Well, for this challenge, you guys are gonna have to put trust in each other. Trust is a two-way street; both people must have faith in each other if they want to succeed. That's why everyone will divide into pairs of two and participate in trust exercises. There are three rounds, one exercise for each pair. The most points a team can earn is 3 points, one point for each successful round. Since both teams have an odd number of people, one person from each team will have to sit this one out. Here's a tip for you: you might want to pick the most untrustworthy person on your team to sit out."

"I wouldn't trust Zoe," Kari giggled.

"Hey!" Zoe growled.

"What? You are a sneaky, conniving-"

"I trust Zoe," Sora interrupted Kari.

"Fine, then you can be paired up with her. Your loss," Kari said nonchalantly.

"I'll sit out," Koji volunteered. "I don't feel like doing anything anyway."

"Good. You should sit out," Rika said.

"I'm with Rika on this. I think after Zoe, you'd be the one we'd least likely trust," Tai said.

"Hey!" Zoe barked.

"What do you mean by that? Not that I care or anything," Koji put his hands in his pockets.

"At least someone trusts Zoe. I don't think even one person on our team can can trust you," Tai said.

"Well, good. I don't care," Koji scoffed.

"Then why did you ask? Doof," Rika snorted.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I swear Rika and Koji are too much alike. The only difference between them is that Rika doesn't try to annoy people on purpose. And she doesn't say 'that's what she said' after every sentence," Tai shook his head in disbelief. "Oh, and that Rika's a boy and Koji's a girl."

* * *

"Who wants to sit this challenge out?" Marcus asked.

"Me!" Mimi shot her hand in the air.

"There's just one problem with that. That means that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb are both going to participate in the challenge and let's face it, they're both screw ups," Matt said.

"And none of us can trust them to do anything right. Even if we paired those two together, they would end up trying to prank each other," Izzy sighed.

"So you're saying that we should let one of those dunce caps to sit out, so that we have a better chance at winning?" Marcus rubbed his chin.

"Precisely," Izzy nodded.

"But which one should we pick?" Davis scratched his head.

"Even though Kazu and Kenta are pain in the asses, Kenta only acts up when he's around Kazu. Without Kazu by his side, he might behave like a normal human being," Matt noted.

"But have you considered that Kazu might act up around Kenta because he wants to show off?" Izzy asked.

"What does Kazu have to show off?" Davis scoffed.

"Maybe impressing is the better word to use. Since no one else finds Kazu's antics amusing, he hangs around the only person who thinks he's funny," Izzy said.

"We get it. Basically if we separate the morons, we might actually get somewhere," Matt nodded.

"Exactly," Izzy said. "Now the only problem is deciding which option would benefit us the most."

"Time to come up with a game plan! I have a sketch pad inside. I usually use it to draw up battle strategies for my army men. Let's go!" Davis ran over to the RV.

"Davis still plays with army men?" Matt asked.

"Davis comes up with strategies in his free time?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

* * *

"Isn't this lake pretty? I thought it would be a nice place to do this challenge," Lily looked around the lake in admiration. "Alright, we're done nature watching! Now who wants to do the rock climbing challenge?"

"We'll do it," Zoe said, Sora nodding in agreement.

"Sora must be suicidal if she wants to pair up with Zoe," Kari commented.

"Shut up. You act like you were paired up with her," Rika scorned.

"BAMFs?" Lily asked.

"Me and Mimi," Kenta said.

"Okay, so one person buckles themselves to this thingy," Gennai picked up a harness. "And the other person will control this thingy," Gennai picked up a knotted rope with a belay attached to it. "That way their partner won't get hurt or die or something similar to that. Are you guys ready?"

"I have one problem. I'm scared of heights," Mimi looked up at the rock wall.

"Don't worry, I've got you!" Kenta smiled.

"Thanks," Mimi said flatly.

"Are you ready Sora?" Zoe smiled.

"Sure am," Sora fastened herself to the harness and put her helmet on.

"Mimi, your face is getting blotchy," Kenta observed.

"Wahhhh!" Mimi cried.

"On the bright side, your face is in your favorite color? You do like pink, right?" Kenta laughed nervously.

"Shut up!" Mimi heaved.

"Just take your time guys! The only thing that matters is that you keep your partner safe, so there's no nerd to rush and try to be the first team to finish," Lily said.

"Awww, Lily's acting so concerned for the well-being of the children," Gennai said mockingly.

"I couldn't say the same thing about your face though," Lily smirked.

"What does my face have to do-"

*_WHACK_* Lily smacked Gennai in the face with a clipboard.

"I get it now," Gennai rubbed his face. "Ow."

"If anything happens to Sora, it's her own fault for trusting Zoe," Kari watched as Zoe held on tight to the rope that was supporting Sora.

"I really don't think she'll do that," Tai shook his head. "Zoe's not the kind of person to throw away a chance of winning just because she wanted to sabotage a teammate."

"Yeah, she's too determined to win," Koji said.

"I don't know," Kari said in disbelief, watching as Sora climbed higher and higher.

"I got you! Just keep climbing!" Zoe flashed Sora a thumbs-up.

"I have complete trust in you!" Sora yelled back.

"Hmmm," Kari sounded unconvinced.

"Wow, look at that! Kenta's doing a pretty good job," Matt nodded in approval.

"Don't think of it like you're getting higher up from the ground! Pretend like you're on an escalator at the mall...except that you're pulling yourself up to the second floor," Kenta shrugged.

"It's not that! My arms are getting tired," Mimi whined.

"Why didn't you say so?" Kenta said. "Okay, let go of the wall and hold on to the rope!"

"Why?" Mimi asked.

"Just do it," Kenta pleaded. "Unless you don't trust me..."

"Alright," Mimi grabbed on to the rope.

"Don't be scared. I'm gonna pull the rope little...by little," Kenta gently hiked Mimi up higher and higher up the wall.

"Hey! Isn't that cheating?" Kari asked Lily.

"I wasn't specific about how to make it to the top of the wall, so no," Lily said. "And by the way, nobody likes tattletales."

"What?" Kari looked hurt.

"First of all, tattling is just downright annoying. Secondly, it's downright annoying. And you know what I hate the most about tattling? Tattling downright insults my intelligence. In case you didn't know, I am aware of everything that goes on around here."

"Everything?" Kari gulped.

"Everything," Lily nodded.

"Whoo hoo!" Sora cheered from the top of the wall.

"We did it!" Zoe squealed.

"Awesome! We made it too!" Mimi smiled.

"Alright, you can lower them down now," Gennai said to Zoe and Kenta. "Kick-Ass and the BAMFs are tied with one point!"

"Boo! What's the point of this challenge if it turns out to be a tie?" Kazu jeered.

"If we keep at this rate, you might as well give all of us 'Everyone's a Winner' ribbons," Koji scoffed.

"I can see why you guys were picked to sit out," Lily shot the boys deadpan looks. "Are we ready for the next trust exercise?"

"What's the next exercise?" Marcus asked.

"I like to call it Minefield," Lily let out a happy sigh.

"It's because there are bombs all over the place," Gennai said.

"Ahhh! Bombs?!" Kazu spazzed out.

"Not here! There," Lily pointed to a section of land roped off with 'Danger Zone' banners.

"Ah, makes more sense," Tai nodded.

"In this round, one person will be blinded and their partner will guide them to the other side of this area. Here, the blindfolded people will have to trust that their partners will lead them in the right direction. The guides have to believe that their partners trust them enough to do what they say. Guides, when you tell your partners where to go, beware that you don't lead them to these cherry bombs," Lily pointed to the red bombs scattered all around the area. "They're very motion-sensitive."

"Did you just take regular bombs and paint them red? Because those look too big to be cherry bombs," Matt scratched his head.

"They're jumbo sized cherry bombs, okay?" Lily put her hands on her hips.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I think Lily might be as cynical as Gennai, or maybe even more," Matt noted.

* * *

"The team that sets off the least amount of bombs wins this round. So who wants to do it?" Gennai held up two black strips of fabric.

"Wanna be my partner?" Kouichi asked Kari.

"Ooooh, he wants you to be his partner," Koji mocked.

"You're so ridiculous. I know what he meant," Kari giggled. "Sure, I'll partner up with you, Kouichi!"

"Good. I'm happy," Kouichi smiled.

"Hey Marcus! We should do this challenge!" Davis said.

"Alright, sounds good to me. So who should give out the directions?" Marcus looked at the minefield.

"You should. I don't know my rights and lefts," Davis said.

"Great...," Marcus groaned.

"Are you guys ready? Who's gonna take the blindfold?" Lily asked.

"Me!" Davis ran over to Lily.

"You can do it if you want to," Kouichi said to Kari.

"No, you do it. I don't want my makeup to smudge," Kari smiled.

"Okay," Kouichi blushed.

"Get in your positions," Gennai moved the two boys to the start of the area. Kari and Marcus walked over and stood by the perimeter. "Alright you two," Lily said to Kari and Marcus. "Tell them where to go."

"Davis, just go straight for now," Marcus yelled.

"Yeah, you too Kouichi!" Kari said.

"Nonononono! Stop," Marcus commanded.

"Stop?" Kouichi asked.

"No! You keep going," Kari shook her head.

"Keep going?" Davis stood in place.

"No! Listen to me! Don't do anything unless I say so," Marcus sounded irritated.

"Okay...," Davis didn't move. "Now what do I do?"

"Take three little steps to your right," Marcus said.

_*BOOM*_

"Whaaa!" Davis screamed.

"You're fine! Go straight four steps and then step to your left," Marcus said.

"Ow," Kouichi's knees gave out and he collapsed on the ground.

"Sorry," Kari giggled. "I mean to say right."

"Geez. Does this girl know her right to her left? We might as well throw in the towel now! With her directions, Kouichi will probably set off half of the bombs in the damn arena," Koji commented.

"Don't talk like that!" Sora gasped.

"Honestly. We don't need to have any bad energy on our team. We have more than enough of it," Zoe shook her head.

"Hmmm," Rika gave Koji a disapproving look.

"Go right?" Kouichi got back up and walked to his right.

"No-oh well," Kari shrugged as Kouichi set off another bomb.

"Not that way! Go the other way!" Marcus yelled to Davis.

"Which other way?" Davis shifted to his left and accidentally bumped into Kouichi.

_*BOOM*_

"Okay, so I go in the opposite direction. I get it now!" Davis said in an enlightened tone.

"Ba-ba-ba-ba...stop and take two big steps forward, then step to your left once," Marcus directed Davis.

"Are you okay?" Kari asked Kouichi.

"Ummf," Kouichi was face down on the ground.

"No shit. The guy's been bombed down several times. How else would he feel?" Zoe huffed.

"I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked Kouichi," Kari turned around to face Zoe.

"I'm fine," Kouichi struggled to get up. "Where do I go now?"

"You go and take off your blindfold," Lily said. "Davis made it through without causing any bombs to explode. You on the other hand must have set off half the bombs here. The BAMFs win this round!"

"Oh yeah! Who's a badass motherfucker? We are!" Davis did a victory dance. "Go BAMFs, go BAMFs!"

"But we didn't get to finish getting to the end of the section!" Kari protested.

"No, that's okay," Kouichi said, falling to the ground again.

"Someone get this kid a wheelchair!" Lily barked.

"Yeah, who wants to do it? There's one back on the campgrounds," Gennai looked at the contestants.

"When I said someone, I meant you!" Lily said to Gennai.

"Lazy bitch," Gennai muttered as he walked off.

"At this rate, Gennai won't have a paycheck to pay off his bets with," Lily shook her head. "Now, here's my favorite trust exercise! Do you see these mini planes over there?"

"They're so cute!" Mimi squealed.

"They may be cute on the outside, but they aren't so cute on the inside. You see, these planes don't have a steering wheel or anything to control the plane."

"Then how can you control a plane if there's no way to do so in the cockpit?" Izzy asked.

"Easy! You use these," Lily pulled out two joysticks. "One person will be inside the plane, all helpless and unable to save himself. On the bright side, your partner will be able to help out by controlling the plane for you. On the not-so-bright side, the plane and joystick are battery-operated so your partner must steer the plane before the batteries run out. Each joystick will have a battery meter that shows how much power is left on the joystick. If your joystick starts to run out of power, then it'll be harder to control the plane. Once the joystick has no more power, it won't be able to control the plane at all, and the plane will drop down and crash. There's also a meter inside the cockpit, but there's a blinking light on the top of the helicopter fan that can be used as a signal. If the light is green, that means the plane still has enough power left. When the light is red, that means you better get that plane back on land before it plunges into the lake."

"So it's like a life-sized battery-operated plane. That's pretty cool!" Davis exclaimed.

"Right? Brings back childhood memories," Lily dreamily sighed. "Okay. Rika, Tai, Matt, Izzy, you guys are the only ones left. So who wants to fly in the death trap-I mean airplane and who wants to play with the joystick?" Lily asked.

"Ha hah, play with the joystick," Koji snickered.

"Cute...," Lily groaned.

"I'll ride the plane," Matt said. "Izzy's good at electronics, so I know I'll get back on land safely."

"Rika, Tai?" Lily asked.

"Rika's going in the plane!" Tai quickly pointed at Rika.

"What? Since when did we decide on that?" Rika crossed her arms.

"Please? I just ate a lot of food this morning and it's still upsetting my stomach," Tai rubbed his belly.

"Then stop eating your mom's cooking," Marcus jeered.

"BUUUURN! You got served!" Gennai said to Tai.

"Fine. Good thing I missed out on breakfast," Rika climbed onto the plane.

"Oh, before you start, I forgot to mention that you guys have to make the plane do lots of cool tricks, like loop-de-loops, wicked dives, and whatever else that would entertain everyone else," Lily said. "No pressure!"

"No, none at all," Tai gulped.

"Ready," Izzy said as he made the plane take off.

"Tai! Get this piece of junk moving already!" Rika yelled from inside the plane.

"Okay, okay! I was just gonna do it now!" Tai bit his lip and nervously fidgeted with the joystick.

"That's pretty cool! I bet Matt's having the ride of his life," Marcus admiringly looked at the plane.

"That's what she said," Koji smirked.

"Look kid! I'm getting really tired of your mouth!" Marcus picked Koji up by his shirt.

"So you're saying it's a bad time to say 'that's what she said' again, huh?" Koji's face remained emotionless.

"Forget you," Marcus threw Koji down on the ground.

"Why do you always have to cause trouble?" Zoe rolled her eyes.

"I'm not causing any trouble. I'm just being myself," Koji shrugged.

"That's the problem," Marcus said.

"Relax! At least I'm not screwing up this challenge," Koji said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kari asked.

"If anyone screws up, it's not my fault because it's not like I was involved in the challenge. Feels good to know that. Imagine if the helicopter fan somehow broke...now that would suck! At least I didn't do anything to make that happen," Koji explained.

"Yeah," Kari said.

"Just watching our plane is making me dizzy," Mimi stared at the plane.

"That's my man! Dizzy Izzy," Davis patted Izzy on the back.

"Yeah! Our plane's looking so cool, but what the hell is Tai doing? It looks pretty scary," Kenta pointed at the other team's plane, which was flying haphazardly.

"Tai! What are you doing?" Sora gasped.

"I'm just flying the plane," Tai nervously jiggled the joystick.

"Flying it or trying to wreck it? If you're not careful, you're gonna-"

"Oh shit...," Tai winced. A couple of birds flew into the helicopter fan. The birds got slaughtered and their guts were getting entangled in the fan.

"Tai!" Sora screamed.

"Ahhh!" Tai jumped and dropped his joystick.

"Wow, sucks to be them," Kazu laughed.

"Don't laugh at them. That's mean," Mimi pouted. "And that'll bring us bad karma."

"Do you really believe in karma?" Izzy sighed.

"I wasn't talking to you," Mimi said through gritted teeth.

"Damn Meems! What did the guy ever do to you?" Marcus grimaced.

"Crap crap crap!" Tai began to hyperventilate. "The fan won't move!"

"Tai! Get her back here now!" Sora pleaded.

"That would be nice, but I can't do much when the helicopter fan is stuck!" Tai yelled.

"Oh no!" Zoe gasped. The plane took a nosedive and crashed down in the water.

"Time to get back to land," Izzy looked at the red blinking light on his plane and began to steer it back to land.

"I assume you all know what this means," Lily said.

"We lost?" Kouichi guessed.

"Yes. And also, we need to get Rika out of the plane. It has a child-lock on it, just in case someone decided to jump out of the plane," Lily clipped on a headset. "Red Sock to Newbie 381, Red Sock to Newbie 381. Bring rescue team to coordinates 23''56 stat. Red Sock out!"

* * *

"This meeting is stupid," Koji crossed his arms.

"Do you want to be eliminated?" Kari asked.

"She's got a good point," Kouichi said.

"Oh shut up! You think everything she says makes a good point!" Koji growled.

"Come on guys, I don't even want to keep talking about this, so can you cut to the chase?" Tai pressed his lips together.

"Hey guys! What are you talking about?" Sora walked up to Kari, Tai, Koji, and Kouichi.

"Something personal," Kari said.

"It can't be that personal if you're all talking about it," Sora frowned.

"Well it is," Kari said.

"I get the message. I'll just go over to Zoe and Rika," Sora shrugged.

"Good, she's gone," Kari said. "Like I was saying, I don't like the fact that Sora's becoming buddies with Zoe. That's why we need to keep Zoe on the team," Kari said.

"Are you listening to what you're saying?" Tai exclaimed.

"Yes. None of us want to be sent home, so we need to get rid of the weakest member of our team, which happens to be Sora. She's already in a bad position because she's stupid enough to be friends with Zoe. Sora's not really going to get us far, so we get rid of her and keep Zoe in the competition. Zoe will do whatever it takes to make sure she wins, so we should take advantage of that. We'll use her to keep winning the challenges and then we'll toss her to the side when we don't need her anymore."

"Wow, Kari! I would have never thought you could come up with such an evil plan," Tai said in disbelief.

"Thanks! I've been practicing battle strategies lately," Kari beamed. " So it's agreed?"

"Sure. Anything from sending me to the chopping block," Koji shrugged.

"Yeah. It's a good plan," Kouichi mumbled.

"I don't know...," Tai said. "As well-thought out as this plan is, I don't think we should kick Sora out simply for trusting Zoe. They were the only ones who successfully did their trust exercise. Maybe Sora has a right to trust Zoe."

"Tai. Stop thinking with your dick," Kari shook her head.

"Okay, I'm done here," Tai stood up and walked to his trailer.

* * *

Camera Confessions...

"If I didn't know any better, I would think that Kari's just a tad bit jealous of Zoe," Tai said. "Sora's almost like a sister to Kari, and I don't think Kari wants to share Sora with anyone else, especially with Zoe."

* * *

"Hey toots, you okay? You're usually happy and whatever. What's up?" Marcus asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night," Mimi said.

"Hmmm?" Marcus gave Mimi a skeptical look.

"No! Not like that! I wish," Mimi rolled her eyes.

"Then why else would you be tired?" Marcus smirked.

"LMFAO, duh!" Mimi fibbed.

"Gah! Don't even mention them to me! _When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly, I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah_...dammit! I got them stuck in my head again! I gotta go...," Marcus trailed off.

"_I'm sexy and I know it_," Davis thrust his pelvis back and forth.

"You guys are so silly," Mimi giggled. "I'm going inside, it's getting chilly."

"Mimi?" Izzy said, barely audible. Oblivious, Mimi got up from her rock and walked back to the RV.

"I sure messed this up," Izzy sighed.

"What? Your hair?" Kazu laughed.

"Nice one!" Kenta high-fived him.

"Like you can talk about hair! Kenta, what's up with your hair! Did your mom put a bowl on your head and cut your hair around it?" Davis smirked.

"Maybe," Kenta blushed.

"And Kazu, you wear a freakin' visor! Nuff said," Davis said.

"But you're wearing googles on your head!" Kazu pointed at Davis.

"Visors are the fanny-packs of headgear. They're ugly and only tourists at Disneyland wear them," Davis jeered.

* * *

"I don't like this. What do you think they're talking about?" Sora asked.

"Whatever it is, they sure don't want us to hear it," Zoe scrunched up her face.

"They're probably trying to figure out who they should vote off," Rika said.

"But why wouldn't they want me to join their conversation?" Sora looked at the group of the remaining teammates.

"Maybe it's because they're talking about Zoe and they don't want you hear it and go back to tell her what they said," Rika shook her head. "Does anyone have a brain?"

"Why me? I haven't done anything to them lately, well everyone except Kari," Zoe said.

"Doesn't matter. You're the most hated person on our team. I suggest you start packing your bags," Rika said.

"Normally I would be offended but at least you're being honest with me. Not like these guys who want to talk behind my back," Zoe leaned against the trailer.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"It's time to strike. I wasn't hoping to use this as my last resort but- okay, I admit it. I wanted to do this for a long time, and tonight is the night. I found this pretty pen on the ground a couple of weeks ago. I just thought it was a normal pen, but when I clicked it, a tiny camera lens came out. You can record video and audio, and this pen also has night vision, so you can take clear pictures without using the flash. I'm pretty sure this spy pen has more features, so I gotta figure out what they are," Zoe clicked her pen. "Say cheese!"

* * *

"Izzy? Can you help me?" Zoe tapped him on the shoulder.

"Possibly. What?" Izzy asked.

"I've had this pen for a while now, and I was wondering how I can take all of the pictures and videos out and put them on a cell phone or whatever," Zoe handed him the pen.

"Wow. This is the PI-800 series Detectimax Spy Pen. I thought they were just a myth! This thing is really expensive and only the top private investigators and FBI agents can get these. Where did you get this?" Izzy marveled.

"In a cereal box?" Zoe lied.

"Good enough for me," Izzy shrugged. "Do you have your phone with you now?"

"Yeah, right here," Zoe handed her phone to Izzy.

"I'll be back. Just stay here," Izzy ran to his caravan and came back out.

"Wow, that was fast," Zoe said.

"If I'm correct, we can just transfer the media files on the pen over to your cell phone. It won't be as easy as that, because this pen is possibly password protected but I have a software program that can unlock the combination," Izzy took Zoe's cell phone and attached it to a wire.

"Yep, password prompt..." Izzy groaned.

"Try 0000," Zoe guessed.

"Okay," Izzy typed away at the cell phone.

_*Beep beep beep*_

"Yep, it unlocked. Didn't it come up with a default code?" Izzy asked.

"I guess, but whoever had this pen before me must have reset the combo to 0000," Zoe shrugged.

"Stupid move," Izzy said. "Well, your files have transferred. You're good to go now."

"Thanks Izzy! You're the best!" Zoe hugged him.

"Okay, you can let go now," Izzy broke away from the hug and walked away.

"KOUICHI! Come here quick! I found something I think you'd like!" Zoe waved Kouichi over.

"Comin," Kouichi walked over to her.

"You might wanna sit down for this," Zoe sat down on the ground.

"Okay," Kouichi sat down next to Zoe.

"Watch this," Zoe held up her cell phone so that Kouichi could see the screen.

"Hey. That's Kari...and Davis. What are they...oh," Kouichi watched some footage of Kari and Davis making out. "So why did you show me this? I don't care," he said unconvincingly.

"Please, I know you better. I just thought you would like to know before you keep making a fool out of yourself," Zoe said. "Only a real friend would tell you this. I'm only watching out for you."

"Thanks," Kouichi mumbled.

"I'll give you some alone time," Zoe patted him on the back and walked away.

Kouichi pushed his knees to his chest, put his head down, and silently cried.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"There's so much tension here, you could cut it with a knife. Honestly, I think that expression makes no sense whatsoever, but it sounds nice so that's probably why a lot of people use that phrase," Gennai said. "I see that you all seem to have some friction though. What the hell happened when I was gone? Meh, I'll ask Lily, she knows everything. Koji, Sora, only one of you will get the last marshmallow. One of you has only one vote against you, and one of you has a decent amount of votes against you. Now who gets to go home...," Gennai tapped his chin. "Koji...you get to stay one more week!"

"WHAT?!" Zoe sprung up from her log. "Why Sora?!"

"Don't act surprised. You probably voted her off too," Kari giggled.

"No I didn't! I'll prove it to all of you! Gennai? Do you have the slips of paper?" Zoe asked Gennai.

"No, that's not necessary," Sora shook her head. "I believe you, Zoe."

"What? You're more delusional than we thought," Koji said.

"I trust Zoe and I know she would never do something like that to me," Sora said.

"Thank you Sora," Zoe gave her a little smile.

"Bye everyone," Sora waved and walked off.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"If this show taught me anything, it's that people aren't always what you expect them to be. I never thought I would be friends with someone like Zoe, especially with what other people have said about her. Sometimes, the only person you should listen to is yourself. I don't regret anything at all. Even though I'm out of the competition, at least I came out with some new friends," Sora toyed with her friendship bracelet.


	18. Guess Who's In Jeopardy

**Recap**: Last week, the contestants were put to the test when it comes to trusting each other. Some people seemed to be more trustworthy than people thought, while others started to show their true colors. With all of the making friends, making out, and making chaos, it's all just drama. It doesn't help when Lily assigns the contestants to do mini trust exercises. At first, both teams were doing fine, but it only took a turn for the worse for Kick-Ass. Their incompetence sends Kouichi in a wheelchair and Rika trapped in a sinking helicopter. Half of the Kick-Ass team do some scheming before the Campfire Ceremonies, and Zoe doesn't like it one bit. She takes matters into her own hands and gives Kouichi the news of his life. She gets what's coming to her, when Sora gets eliminated by the rest of her team. Seems like Zoe can't keep friends for too long.

* * *

**Guess Who's In Jeopardy!**

"Need help with that?" Marcus was amused by the sight of Izzy pitching his tent.

"Nope," Izzy stuck a peg in the ground. "All done."

"Wow. I can't see you as an outdoorsy guy. How'd you set up that tent?" Marcus whistled at the tent.

"I dunno, I haven't really put much thought into it. I go camping a lot with the guys in the summer," Izzy shrugged.

"That's cool and all, but why are you sleeping out here? There's a warm RV over there ya know," Marcus jerked his thumb at the caravan.

"Yeah, but I think I'll stay out here," Izzy said.

"Why are you acting so weird? Now that I think about it, everyone's acting weird. Kazu and Kenta are weird, but that's normal. Davis is wearing turtlenecks in 70 degree weather, Mimi's just...moody, and you've been camping out here for several days now! What the hell is going on? Are Matt and me the only normal ones on the team?" Marcus eyed Izzy suspiciously.

"I think you're overanalyzing this," Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think so. What the hell happened to make you all act strange? Did I miss something?" Marcus crossed his arms and stared at Izzy. "Oh, by the look on your face, I did miss something. What are you keeping a secret?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Izzy turned his back Marcus and pretended to adjust his sleeping bag.

"Okay, if you say so...," Marcus sighed. "Just a heads up, I hear tonight's gonna be way chillier than the past couple of nights. Hear it might drop to 40 degrees."

"Thanks for the weather update," Izzy shook his head.

"No problem. While you freeze your ass off outdoors, the rest of us will be nice and cozy inside, especially Matt. He's breaking out those footie pajamas again," Marcus snickered.

"Good to know," Izzy exhaled.

"Night! Don't let the frost bite!" Marcus waved and jumped into the trailer.

"Finally...," Izzy laid down on the ground.

"You're sleeping out here too?"

"Gah! Zoe, what are you doing here?!" Izzy sat up quickly.

"I don't want to be in my trailer. They're all just a bunch of...well, I can't think of a word, but I don't want to stay there after they eliminated Sora. She was the only true friend I had in the competition," Zoe dropped her fleece blanket and pillow in front of Izzy's tent.

"They eliminated Sora?" Izzy asked. "Why? If I recall, you two were the only ones to do your trust exercises correctly."

"That didn't matter to them. I'm still surprised of why they decided to send Sora home. I bet Kari had something to do with this," Zoe pushed her knees up to her chest.

"Kari?" Izzy threw Zoe a weird look. "Why would she do something like that? She likes Sora, they're like sisters."

"I see it as a process of elimination. I wouldn't vote off Sora. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't convince the rest of the team to vote her out too. I'm not exactly the most popular girl on the team. I know for sure it wasn't Rika because she's got some grudge against Koji. Koji doesn't seem like he really cares about conspiring against anyone. As long as he's still in the competition, it doesn't matter. Kouichi couldn't come up with that idea because he's way too shy to say what's on his mind, so that narrows it down to Tai and Kari, and something tells me that Tai likes Sora. Like _likes_ her," Zoe tapped her chin.

"I guess that makes sense. I know Tai would never try to screw her over like that. He's the kind of guy who would rather quit the competition than to put one vote against Sora. On the other hand, because she is so well-liked, Kari probably has enough popularity to influence people to do anything. Anyways, that's really exhausting...no wonder you're camping out here. Your team seems to have a lot of drama," Izzy grimaced.

"And that's not the half of it. I would say more, but just talking about tonight's elimination tires me out," Zoe yawned. "By the way, why are you sleeping out? There isn't any drama on your team, is there?"

"Not really. I just...," Izzy hesitated.

"Just what?" Zoe smirked.

"I just felt claustrophobic in there. At least here, I'm in open space. Our team has a lot of people stuffed in one trailer. I bet it's a lot roomier in your trailer considering that there's not of lot of people left on your team," Izzy said.

"Don't remind me," Zoe said flatly.

"Oh, that's right. You guys have been on a losing streak lately," Izzy said.

"Like I said, don't remind me," Zoe rolled her eyes. Zoe and Izzy sat in silence for a while until it started getting windy. "I know I have the spirits of the wind, but holy crap it's cold! I should have planned this better," Zoe held on to her hat.

"I have no idea what you mean by having wind spirits, but you can come in my tent if you want," Izzy shrugged.

"Thanks," Zoe picked up her pillow and blanket. "You know what? You're a nice guy."

"I am?" Izzy said shocked.

"Yeah. Not many guys would talk to a super-bitch like me, or even share a tent with one. You're not that bad," Zoe said.

"Thanks?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

* * *

"Are you okay? You don't look too good," Kari twirled a piece of Kouichi's hair. He didn't move or reply back. "Is something wrong?" Kari asked.

"Leave him alone," Rika said. "He looks like he's gonna toss his cookies soon."

"Okay," Kari stopped playing with Kouichi's hair. "Feel better," she hugged him and walked over to Davis.

"Kari...you know you're teasing me right now," Davis smirked.

"How am I teasing you?" Kari asked.

"You were touching Kouichi's hair. Frankly, I'm a little jealous," Davis grinned.

"You're so silly! That was nothing. You're acting as if I were making a move on him," Kari stood on her toes and gave Davis a quick peck on the cheek. "Let's go somewhere more private."

"Oh, I like that idea!" Davis grabbed Kari by the wrist and they ran off toward the forest.

"Did you see that?" Matt asked.

"Never thought it would happen in a million years," Tai shook his head.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"So I was just taking a leak behind the trailer," Matt said.

"Me too," Tai said. "Well, behind my trailer. Peeing together would be awkward."

"It was awkward, even if we were miles away. You cannot give eye contact! It's like the cardinal rule of the urinal code!" Matt yelled.

"Eye contact takes two people! You were giving it right back to me! If you were so concerned about urinal etiquette, then why didn't you look forward like you're supposed to?" Tai crossed his arms.

"Why didn't you look forward like you were supposed to?" Matt yelled.

"What are we doing talking about this here? We were supposed to be talking about something else...," Tai rubbed his chin.

"Yeah...what was it again?" Matt pondered.

"Oh! Now I remember! Davis and Kari!" Tai said triumphantly.

"Yep, Davis and Kari. That was weird," Matt nodded.

"Very weird," Tai agreed.

* * *

"What are you homos doing this time?" Koji scoffed.

"Cat's cradle," Kenta said.

"Dammit chumley! You're doing it all wrong!" Kazu shoved his hand in the knotted string.

"No, you messed it up! Look, we're stuck!" Kenta frowned.

"We're not stuck...," Kazu tried to pull his hand away from the string, but the yarn was too tangled up.

"Yes we are!" Kenta shook his hand but the string didn't loosen.

"Hmph," Koji smirked. "I guess you guys are stuck together for the rest of your lives. Shoulda seen that one coming. See ya."

"Waaait! Help us! I don't wanna be tied up to nerd face here!" Kazu frantically flailed his arm.

"Hey! That's mean!" Kenta whined.

"Uh...where's Koji?" Kazu put his arm down.

"This is crap! Let's see if anyone has scissors," Kenta said.

"Good idea," Kazu nodded and began waking in one direction.

"Where are you going? I wanna go this way!" Kenta yanked his hand in the opposite direction.

"Fat chance in hell!" Kazu said. "You can go wherever you want, but I'm going this way. The boys continued walking in opposite directions until the string dug too hard in their wrists.

"Okay, let's stop...this hurts," Kenta rubbed his chafed wrist.

"Yeah," Kazu sighed.

"Look! There's Lily! She's gotta have something to cut the string with! Why else would she be carrying a diaper bag?" Kenta pointed to the redheaded executive producer.

"Lily! Lily! Help us!" Kazu yelled.

"What is it?" Lily walked toward the boys, "diaper bag" in tow.

"Can you cut this string? Me and Kazu got tied up," Kenta held up his wrist.

"Uh, why do you think I have something to cut anything with? I sold my Pirates costume during the twelfth challenge," Lily said.

"Then what's in the diaper bag?" Kenta pointed at Lily's bag.

"This isn't a diaper bag! This is a tote bag! A lot of girls wear them!" Lily growled.

"Pregnant girls," Kazu snickered.

"Watch it boy!" Lily wagged her finger in Kazu's face. "Look kid, there's nothing in here except...," she put her tote upside down and shook it.

"Balloons?" Kenta watched as a 99 red balloons bounced out of Lily's purse.

"Yeah, balloons. Got a problem with that?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"No ma'am!" Kazu blurted.

"Can you cut the string?" Kenta asked.

"Sorry, but I don't have anything to cut it up with. Ask Gennai. He's got a whole bunch of random stuff up his sleeves," Lily shrugged and walked away.

"Gennai! Gennai!" Kenta ran over to him.

"Can you slow down?! You're gonna rip my shoulder out of its socket!" Kazu struggled to run at the same pace as Kenta.

"What is it, you annoying-ahem, you...people?" Gennai asked.

"Look! We're tied up to each other!" Kenta said.

"Aww, that's nice. Tying the knot, huh?" Gennai had an amused smile on his face.

"Well, duh! Look how huge this knot is!" Kazu pointed to the tangled string.

"Right...well whaddya want me to do about it? Congratulate you? Congratulations! You're the first people to get married on the show! It's even more groundbreaking since not only are you the first married couple, but you guys are the first gay married couple! You know what? That is pretty congratulatey...We should celebrate! I'll order an ice-cream cake after today's challenge!" Gennai nodded and walked away.

"Till death do us part?" Kenta nervously laughed.

"I have a free hand...which I will punch you with," Kazu threatened.

"Guess what? We've got our first married couple on the show!" Gennai squealed.

"What? Who got married?" everyone asked each other.

"Don't look at me. Sora's gone," Tai sighed. "And I don't have the hots for Matt."

"That's impossible! Everyone has the hots for me!" Matt joked.

"It's Kazu and Kenta!" Gennai grinned.

"Of course they would...," everyone else groaned.

"You guys should be happier! We're gonna have some ice-cream cake later to congratulate them!" Gennai said.

"Yayyy!" everyone cheered.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"One of the only times Dumb and Dumber have been useful," Rika shoved a bite of cake into her mouth.

* * *

"Before we get the cake, we gotta take care of business! I hope you guys know each other very well because today's challenge is a trivia game!" Gennai flourished his arms.

"Didn't we do a trivia challenge a long time ago?" Zoe asked.

"Not like this...," Gennai pulled a rope hanging from a tree. Podiums sprung up from the ground and a huge screen grid popped out of nowhere. "It's Jeopardy!"

"Jeopardy? Seriously? That's the show that plays after Wheel of Fortune!" Marcus spazzed. "I hate that show!"

"Why yes. Yes it is," Lily nodded. "And if you hate that show so much, then how do you know it plays after Wheel of Fortune?"

"Half of the time, it's because Nerdstein goes to my house for dinner and stays for a while. He acts like he doesn't have a TV at his house...and the other half of the time, it's cause I can't find the remote and I'm too lazy to look for it," Marcus huffed.

"Then why don't you get up and leave the room?" Matt asked.

"Because I'm too lazy to get my ass up from the couch," Marcus sighed.

"That's lazy on a whole new level," Koji muttered.

"Well, maybe after this challenge, you'll start liking Jeopardy! I mean look at this screen!" Gennai gushed.

"If you ask me, it looks like you just arranged a bunch of computer monitors into a huge square," Izzy said.

"Shut it boy! Way to ruin the illusion!" Lily stomped her foot and angrily walked away.

"What's with her?" Tai asked.

"She's just mad because she came up with the idea for this challenge...but she also thought that the screen was a good idea, until Ginger Snap over there," Gennai pointed at Izzy, "called her out on her geniuosity."

"Is geniuosity even a word?" Kari asked.

"Shut your face! Like you guys have any room to talk! I bet you guys will feel like idiots after this challenge! You guys will have to guess who did what! There are five categories...," Gennai pressed a button and the first row of screens began to light up. "The categories are: _Family Matters, Just Plain Weird, Dirty Little Secrets, Fear Factors_, and_ My Favorite Hobbies_! Each category has five questions, which have point values from 100 to 500 points. There's a square for every contestant on the show, so for example, Takato was the answer for one of the questions, he won't be the answer for any other question. Got it?"

"Yeah," Davis nodded.

"Good. Now each team has their own podium, which are in front of the big screen that Lily worked so hard on coming up with," Gennai winked to his side.

"Sorry, but no brownie points for you Gennai," Lily shook her head. "You still owe me $436."

"Damn. That was worth a shot," Gennai snapped his fingers in disappointment. "Anyways, each contestant will take turns answering the trivia questions. I will give them 30 seconds to come up with an answer. If the answer is correct, they will win the points. If they don't have the right answer or if they don't answer in time, then they don't get points and the next contestant up on the other team will have a chance to answer the question. If they don't have the right answer, then that sucks because nobody wins points. Oh! Before I forget, there's a daily double in one of the squares! If you get the right answer, then you get double the points! Neato, huh?" Gennai grinned.

"Who says neato anymore?" Koji grimaced.

"Yeah...that word is so 1950!" Mimi said.

"Just shut up and go to your podiums," Gennai pointed to the two long tables on the sides of the screen. "Let's get started before I change my mind on the ice-cream cake...which team wants to go first?"

"We do!" both teams yelled.

"Great, now we gotta flip for it...BAMFs, heads or tails?" Gennai pulled a coin out of his robe.

"Tails," Matt said.

Gennai flipped the coin and rested it on the back of his hand. "Tails it is! Marcus, since you're the first guy lined up on your podium, you get to pick the first question."

"Pick an easy question. That way we can get more points that way," Izzy whispered.

Marcus nodded. "I'll take _Just Plain Weird_ for 400 points!"

"D'oh!" Izzy silently facepalmed himself.

"After I finish reading this, you have 30 seconds to come up with an answer. Intern? Change the screen please!" Gennai yelled. "Okay. Guess who was in a hip-hop video?"

"Hah! This one's easy! It was Yoshi!" Marcus smirked.

"This is no time to be fooling around!" Davis yelled.

"Alas, Marcus isn't joking!" Gennai jerked his thumb at the screen. A picture of Yoshi appeared where the question used to be. "400 points for the BAMFs!"

"Woot woot! Who's a badass mothafucka? I am!" Marcus jumped back to his podium.

"She was really in a hip-hop music video?" Tai asked.

"Yep. According to Neon, she was in the video 'Pillow Fighting Broads' by Jay-Crew. YouTube it," Gennai said. "Rika! Your turn!"

"I pick_ Fear Factors_ for 500," Rika crossed her arms.

"_Fear Factors_ for 500," Gennai repeated. "Can you guess which contestant has an irrational fear of belly buttons?"

Rika shook her head and laughed. "Rika! What's so funny about that? Just answer the question," Kari leaned over the podium.

"I am. It's just funny because I remember Henry spazzing out when Terriermon poked him right in the belly button," Rika said.

"Correct! Henry's really grossed out by belly buttons after his little sister, Susie, got a quarter stuck in hers," Gennai said.

"Eww, that is gross," Mimi wriggled her nose.

"BAMFs, you're up. Davis, which category do you want?" Gennai asked.

"I choose_ My Favorite Hobbies_ for 400 points," Davis snapped his goggles.

"Okay. Guess who likes to collect stamps in his free time," Gennai said.

"That sounds like an old man hobby," Davis rubbed his chin and looked all around the arena. "Hmmm...Cody?"

"Ha hah! You're so wrong!" Gennai laughed. "Kick-Ass, wanna take a crack at it? Kouichi, answer the question."

"...," Kouichi stood silent.

"Kouichi! Hurry up! We've only got 14 seconds left!" Kari panicked.

"Shut up, he's thinking!" Zoe yelled.

"You should shut-"

_*BUZZ*_

"Sorry, time's out," Gennai shook his head. "Intern, flash the screen! Thank you."

"Koji?!" everyone except Kouichi said in unison.

"So?" Koji blushed and stuck his hands in his pocket.

"I'm so loving this game right now!" Gennai cackled. "Okay, since nobody guessed Davis's question correctly, the next question goes to Zoe."

"I'll take _My Favorite Hobbies_ for 300," Zoe said.

The screen flashed and Gennai read the question on the screen. "Guess who likes to play roller derby."

"That's me!" Zoe gasped in delight.

"Lucky you! You got that right," Gennai said.

"Really? That's gotta be a typo," Kari frowned.

"No it's not. Zoe and her team have won first-place medals in at least 13 championships. Nice one, girl."

"Thanks Gennai," Zoe smiled and went back to her podium.

"Mattycakes! What are you gonna pick?"

"_Fear factors_ for 400," Matt replied.

"Okay. Can you guess who's scared of pashminas?" Gennai asked.

"What's a pashmina?" Matt made a face.

"A really long scarf made out of a cashmere-like fabric. Stupid fear if you ask me," Gennai shrugged.

"Uh...Kenta?" Matt guessed.

"Nope. Tai?"

"It's gotta be Joe," Tai nodded.

"Dammit! I should have guessed Joe!" Matt slammed his fist on the podium.

"No, you shouldn't, because it's not Joe. It's...Tommy! When he was younger, some kids tied a pashmina around him and hung him over the second floor railing. Thank god the mall cops stopped the boys in time," Gennai said.

"Poor Tommy," Mimi frowned.

"Kari, your turn!"

"I'll take _Dirty Little Secrets_ for 500 points," Kari said.

"Alright. Guess who used to sleep with a Snuffaluffagus doll," Gennai smirked.

"Uh...Kouichi?" Kari smiled.

"Nope. Now I'll pass the question up to the BAMFs. Mimi?"

"Is it Tommy?" Mimi smiled nervously.

"No! He's already on the board! Let's go to the next question," Gennai rubbed his temples. "It was Rika!"

"Rika?!" everyone shrieked.

"Shut up or I'll beat the living crap out of you. Each and every one of you!" Rika threatened.

"I'll take your word for it," Gennai gulped. "Let's move on...Izzy? What are you gonna pick?"

"I'll take _Just_ _Plain Weird_ for 200," Izzy said.

"Can you guess who likes to collect used band-aids in a jar," Gennai said.

"Tai," Izzy groaned.

"Correct! How did you know?" Gennai gasped.

"I've been to your house enough times...and those bandages were gross," Izzy said to Tai.

"Hey! They're not gross! They're like my memories!" Tai put his hand to his heart.

"Okay...," Gennai winced. "Tai, rebuttal?"

"I'm gonna pick_ Family Matters_ for 200," Tai smirked triumphantly.

"Guess who's mom is a total MILF," Gennai cackled.

"Izzy's mom," Tai said.

"Niiiice, but no. Kazu? Who do you think is a MILF?"

"Totally Rika's mom. That bitch is hot!" Kazu said.

"It's true! Her mom's a supermodel...," Kenta drooled.

"She is hot, but she's not the girl I'm thinking of," Gennai said. "It's Marcus's mom! Let's just say she's got it going on!"

"Don't you talk about my mom like that, you perv!" Marcus shook his fist at Gennai.

"But it's true! I got proof. Intern?" Gennai pointed at the screen and a picture of Marcus's mom appeared.

"Wow, she's super hot!" all of the boys, except Marcus, said in unison.

"She sure is. Kazu, it's your turn to pick a question. Don't screw this up," Gennai laughed.

"My _Favorite Hobbies_ for 200," Kenta nodded.

"Guess who like to make up scrapbooks," Gennai said.

"I know this...," Kenta pouted. "Yolei!"

"Awesome! You got that one right! Honestly, I don't see her as the scrapbooking type of girl, but to each their own. Koji, what will you choose?"

"_Just Plain Weird_ for 100 points," Koji casually picked at his nails.

"Ready for this? Guess who can stuff the most Cheerios down his mouth," Gennai said.

"It's gotta be JP," Koji scoffed. "That kid is fatter than a fat guy."

"Ha hah, but no! Marcus?"

"It's totally Davis!" Marcus said. "I saw it!"

"Correct! I heard that Davis can stuff 526 Cheerios in his mouth," Gennai rubbed his chin, impressed.

"I can! I'm a boss like that," Davis grinned.

"If you're such a boss, then let's see if you can guess the right person. Which category do you wanna pick?" Gennai put his hands on his hips.

"How about _Dirty Little Secrets_ for 300," Davis rubbed his hands together. "Bring it, formerly-old man!"

"You got it! Guess who has a subscription for Penthouse magazine," Gennai raised an eyebrow.

"Ken," Davis said.

"Ken?!" everyone yelled.

"Yes. According to the Penthouse subscription records, Mr. Kenneth Ichijoji gets his magazines sent to PO Box 0690. I guess it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for," Gennai laughed. "Kouichi, your turn. Which one do you pick?"

"...," Kouichi looked down on his shoes.

"Kouichi! Did you hear me?!" Gennai stomped his foot.

"...," Kouichi didn't take his eyes off the ground.

"Geez, if he doesn't say something soon, we're gonna lose the damn game," Koji muttered.

"Yo! Take it easy!" Tai nudged Koji.

"If you don't say something soon, then you're gonna forfeit your turn to the BAMFs," Gennai threatened.

"...," Kouichi didn't say anything.

"Okay then," Gennai crossed his arms. "Matt?"

"I'll take _Dirty Little Secrets_ for 100 points," Matt said.

"Guess who has never ridden a roller coaster," Gennai said. "That's really pathetic if you ask me."

"Hey! Don't talk about TK like that! He gets motion sickness!" Matt said defensively.

"Aww, that's so cute," Kari cooed. Davis and Kouichi shot her a look.

"Motion sickness, sure...that's what people say when they don't wanna admit that they're scared of roller coasters," Gennai scoffed. "Thanks to TK's 'motion sickness', you guys earned 100 points!"

"Whoop whoop!"

"Zoe, you're up!" Gennai said.

"_Fear Factors_ for 300!" Zoe said.

"Okay...guess who is scared of people finding out that she's no longer a virgin," Gennai said. "This is gonna be interesting."

"I bet it's Kari. She goes around more than a shrimp platter at a fancy dinner party," Zoe scoffed.

"Ohhh, buuuurn!" Gennai yelled. "And boy, is it true!"

"Kari?!" Tai growled.

"Oh yeah. She's done it with a lot of people, including John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schmidt," Gennai let out a sinister laugh.

"_His name is my name too_...," Kazu quietly sang.

"_Wherever we go out, the people always shout_...," Kenta whispered.

"Eww! You did it with Jingelheimer, that nerdy German exchange student?! That Jingleheimer?!" Tai yelled.

"That's not any of your business," Kari blushed.

"Honey, that's where you're wrong. Everything is everyone's business on this show. Mimi, your turn to pick!" Gennai said.

"Yuck! Jingleheimer?! I can't get that out of my head!" Mimi grimaced. "I'll pick _Family Matters_ for 500."

"Guess who's Daddy's Little Girl," Gennai laughed.

"It's gotta be me!" Mimi said.

"Uh, no it isn't," Gennai said. "You're Daddy's Little Princess, not Daddy's Little Girl. Huge difference."

"Yeah, that's so true," Mimi nodded.

"Kari, wanna take a crack at it?"

"Is it Jeri?" Kari asked.

"Ha! If Jeri was Daddy's Little Girl, do you think she would be fucked in the head?" Gennai snorted.

"I guess not...," Kari said sheepishly.

"It's Joe! Trust me, being Daddy's Little Girl isn't a good thing in this instance. Let's just say his dad thinks he's a total sissy."

"Should have seen that one coming," Matt smirked.

"Izzy, your turn," Gennai said.

"_Dirty Little Secrets_ for 200 points," Izzy said.

"Okay. Guess who doesn't know how to ride a bike," Gennai said.

"It's Mimi," Izzy sighed.

"How did you know? I thought nobody knew," Mimi asked him.

"Remember that one time I saw you at the park? It was fairly dark, and I saw you pushing a pink bike, I think it was a Schwinn bike. Anyways, I asked you why you were dragging the bike around and you told me it was because you didn't know how to ride it. I tried to teach you, but you still didn't get it."

"And then you tried to show me by riding my bike!" Mimi brightened up. "I wish I had pictures! You on a pink bike!"

"Aww, talk about memories another time ya Gilmore Girls," Gennai rolled his eyes. "Tai?"

"_Fear Factors_ for 100," Tai nodded.

"Okay. Can you guess who's scared of commitment?"

"It sounds like something Matt would be scared of," Tai laughed.

"HEY!" Matt yelled.

"But you are," Gennai said. "You're so scared of commitment, you change your socks three times a day. 100 points for Kick-Ass! Now it's Kazu's turn."

"I pick _My Favorite Hobbies_ for 100," Kazu said.

"Guess who likes to bake brownies with an Easy Bake oven," Gennai winked.

"Takato! I remember how he would play with the Easy Bake oven in kindergarten and how I used to make fun of him. That kid was smart though, he totally used the Easy Bake oven to get chicks," Kazu nodded. "And to make desserts of course."

"And Takato is the right answer," Gennai pointed to the grid and a picture of Takato appeared where the question used to be. "Koji, you're up!"

"I'll take _My_ _Favorite Hobbies_ for 500," Koji said nonchalantly.

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_ a siren went off and a bunch of balloons fell down.

"What the hell?!" Koji shrieked.

"That means this question is a daily double! If you get the right answer, you'll get 1000 points!" Gennai squealed. "Guess who's Jewish!"

"It's gotta be Izzy. He looks Jewish," Koji shrugged.

"Uh...how can someone look Jewish? And how is being Jewish a hobby? That doesn't make any sense," Izzy asked.

"Doesn't matter, cause Izzy isn't the Jewish one," Gennai said. "Kenta, can you guess who's Jewish?"

"It's definitely Thomas! He was wearing one of those beanie things Jewish guys wear to cover their bald spots with," Kenta tapped the top of his head.

"It's called a yarmulke," Izzy said.

"Are you sure you're not Jewish? You seem to know a lot about Jewishness," Koji asked.

"It's called Judaism," Izzy sighed.

"See! You could be like a Jew priest," Koji said.

"You mean a rabbi?" Izzy asked.

"Case closed. Izzy's the Jew, now give us the 1000 points," Koji said.

"No! You're both wrong! While Izzy's possibly a Jew, I mean Koji brought up some good points...but we know for sure that Cody is Jewish!" Gennai said.

"Is this what this means?" Matt pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper with gold lettering.

"Ooooh! I got one of those too!" Mimi pointed at the paper.

"Yep, so did we," Tai said.

"What is that?" Gennai took the paper from Matt. "An invitation to Cody's bar mitzvah. And it seems you all missed it. Good friends you are. Tsk tsk tsk."

"Aww! Are you saying we missed an awesome party where people get to lift you up in a chair and everyone else sings and dances in a circle around you?" Davis whined.

"That sounds like one rockin' party," Marcus nodded.

"We should throw Cody our own bar mitzvah!" Mimi squealed.

"That's a good idea!" Gennai nodded. "Hey, wait! You guys are getting off topic! Now we're back to Marcus!"

"Alright, I'll pick _Family Matters_ for 300," Marcus said.

"For 300 points, can you guess who has an alcoholic father?" Gennai asked.

"Okay...there aren't many people left," Marcus rubbed his chin and squinted at the screen. "So it's down to...," Marcus mumbled and counted with his fingers. "Is it Jeri?"

"Yes! Finally someone's thinking logically! 300 points for the BAMFs!" Gennai clapped his hands.

"Oh yeah," Marcus pumped his fist in the air.

"Rika, which one are you gonna pick?"

"I'll take _Family Matters_ for 400 points," Rika said.

"Guess who's adopted," Gennai wriggled his eyebrows.

"Kazu!" Rika blurted.

"Nope. What do you have to say, Davis?"

"Kenta?" Davis shrugged.

"Ha hah! They're not adopted, because no one would wanna take them," Gennai cackled.

"That's true," Kenta sighed.

"Izzy's the adopted one," Gennai grinned.

"You're adopted?!" Tai, Davis, Matt, Mimi, and Kari yelled in unison.

"Hah hah! Your parents didn't love you!" Kazu jeered.

"Well they didn't have a chance to. They died," Gennai sighed.

"Salt on the wound much?" Izzy winced.

"So they killed themselves?" Kenta asked.

"Okay, I'm out of here," Izzy pushed his way out of the podium and walked away.

"Izzy! Where are you going?" Matt asked.

"Leave him. We've got a game to finish," Gennai said. "Since no one got this right, nobody gets the points. Matt, your turn to pick!"

"_Family Matters_ for 100," Matt said.

"Alright. Guess who has daddy issues," Gennai said.

"I would say Sora but then she would probably kill me, and I would say Rika but she would probably kill me...and she's already on the screen. So I'm gonna go with JP. He probably eats to cover up his pain," Matt said.

"Is that your final answer?" Gennai said in a deadpan voice.

"Yeah. JP," Matt said.

"Too bad it's not JP. But that was a good guess, especially with all that psychoanalysing," Gennai nodded. "Kouichi? Who do you think has daddy issues?"

"..."

"Kouichi! You better answer the question! You're gonna screw up this challenge for us if you don't start talking!" Koji growled.

"Seriously," Kari frowned.

"..."

"Is it because you're the one with daddy issues?" Tai asked Kouichi.

"..." Kouichi stayed quiet.

"Nice answer Kouichi, but you're wrong," Gennai sang. "The correct answer was Thomas."

"Yep, he's totally got daddy issues. And his mom got run over by a 10-wheeler. Or was it 16? I don't know exactly, but I do know she was hit with a truck," Marcus said.

"Poor guy," Mimi frowned.

"Especially when you just aired his dirty laundry on the air," Gennai fake moped.

"Didn't you say that our business is everyone's business?" Marcus crossed his arms.

"Yeah but...," Gennai turned red.

"So how is talking about Thomas's parents any different than outing some girl for being a slut? No offense Kari," Marcus said.

"Uh...let's move on," Gennai bit his lip.

"Yeah, let's. Gennai's been stumped by the master!" Marcus smirked.

"Shut up," Gennai huffed. "Zoe, you're up."

"I'll take _Just Plain Weird_ for 500 points," Zoe flipped her hair.

"Can you guess who's allergic to chocolate?" Gennai asked.

"I know it's not Sora...is it Kouichi?" Zoe asked.

"Nope. Mimi?"

"No, I'm not allergic to chocolate. I love chocolate," Mimi said.

"We know you're not allergic to chocolate. You have to guess who is allergic to chocolate," Gennai slid his hand down his face.

"Takuya?" Mimi smiled nervously.

"Atta girl, you're finally playing the game right. Too bad your answer's wrong," Gennai said.

"Wait...so that would leave JP, and that guy eats chocolate like an obese German kid from a Willy Wonka movie!" Koji said. "Is that a mistake?"

"Nope. Hard to believe, but the kid loves chocolate so much, he takes a lot of allergy meds. That's dedication there folks. Get some," Gennai said.

"Wow," Zoe shook her head. "He eats so much chocolate too..."

"Only three more questions left," Gennai said. "Kazu, which one of these questions do you pick?"

"_Dirty Little Secrets_ for 400," Kazu said.

"Guess who has an obsession with the boy band Big Time Rush," Gennai said.

"Is it Kenta?" Kazu poked Kenta in the arm.

"I like them but I'm definitely not obsessed!" Kenta said defensively.

"Close but no cigar," Gennai pulled out a cigar and began chewing on it. "What do you think, Kari?"

"Is it Kazu?" Kari asked.

"Nope. It's Sora!" Gennai said.

"I thought she though the Teenage Wolves were the best band ever!" Matt's voice began to squeak.

"Get real, Matt! Nobody really likes the Teenage Wolves. The lyrics to your songs are stoooopid!" Tai said.

"Hey! I wrote those songs!" Matt yelled.

"Yeah, that's the worst part. _I turn around and I can see what's behind me and I turn right back around and I can see what's ahead_. Well no shit! That's what happens when you turn around!" Tai yelled.

"That is pretty stupid," Rika smirked.

"Man's got a point," Marcus said. "Thank god I've never heard of the Teenage Turtles."

"It's Teenage Wolves," Matt corrected.

"_I turn to my left and I can see what's to the left of me, then I turn to my right and I can see what's to the right of me_," Tai mocked.

"Good one Tai!" Gennai laughed so hard, he had tears coming out of his eyes. "Now pick a question before I die!"

"_Just Plain Weird_ for 300 points," Tai said.

"Okay, Gennai. Compose yourself...bah hah hah hah hah! I can't do this!" Gennai burst out laughing again.

"I got it from here," Lily walked over to the screen. "Tai, guess who dressed up like Mr. Rogers for Halloween seven years in a row."

"Uh...is it Kouichi? Cause I could see him rocking the sweater and the old man shoes," Tai squinted his eyes at Kouichi.

"I could see it too," Lily nodded. "And it is him! BAMFs get 300 more points. Since there's only one more question left, let's just reveal the tidbit about Takuya."

"Hey! How come we're not on the grid?" Kazu pouted.

"Yeah! I'm feeling a bit insulted," Kenta whined.

"There wasn't a point. Nobody wants to know any more about you guys," Gennai shuddered.

"Okay, let's see what Takuya's fear is," Lily ponted at the giant grid.

"He's scared of his alcoholic grandma," Davis read the screen.

"Wow, a lot of you guys have alcoholic families...," Kari said.

"Hello! Our dad is one too!" Tai said.

"Just because he drinks 3 beers for breakfast, 2 beers for lunch, 6 beers for dinner and 2 beers before bedtime does not mean he's an alcoholic!" Kari stomped her foot.

"If it doesn't make him an alcoholic, it sure as hell makes him a guy with a steel liver," Lily shook her head.

"Now it's time to tally up the scores!" Gennai pulled a calculator out of his robe and began pressing random buttons. "Lilyyyyy...can you do the counting?" he handed her the calculator.

"Ugh," Lily shook her head in disbelief and snatched the calculator from Gennai's hands. "Let's see here, uh huh...yeah...okay. Even though Kick-Ass answered most of the higher-point questions correctly, they only earned 1500 points. The BAMFs came out on top with 1900 points! Congrats, BAMFs! You guys are safe from elimination, yet again!"

"Yes!" the BAMFs said triumphantly.

"And here's more reason to celebrate! I found some scissors! Come here Kazu, Kenta," Lily waved the boys over. They held up their wrists and Lily cut the string off.

"Yay! We're finally free! Now let's break out the ice cream cake!" Kazu grinned.

* * *

"There they go again," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Why can't they just cast their votes like we used to?" Zoe huffed.

"Kouichi, are you okay?" Rika made a face. Kouichi didn't say anything.

"He's even quieter than usual after I told him about Kari," Zoe shrugged.

"What did you tell him about Kari?" Rika shot Zoe a glare.

"Oh, that Kari was fooling around with Davis," Zoe said nonchalantly. "I've got proof if you wanna see," she shook her cell phone.

"No thanks, I believe you. I guess Davis is also on the list with John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schimdt..." Rika scoffed. "Just gross."

"Oh, looks like they're done," Zoe said in a mocking tone.

"They're nothing but flunkies," Rika leaned against the trailer and crossed her arms.

* * *

"Hey Mimi," Izzy sheepishly walked over to her.

"Hey, what's up?" Mimi smiled at him.

"Nothing...," Izzy sat next to Mimi.

"I can't believe you remember the whole me not knowing how to ride a bike thing," Mimi laughed.

"How could I forget? I wouldn't ride a pink bike for anyone else," Izzy smirked.

"So...," Mimi sighed and reached for Izzy's hand.

"Yeah...," Izzy began to turn red.

"Izzy?" Mimi turned to face him. "I...uh..."

"Eh..." Izzy inched closer to Mimi's face and kissed her on the lips.

"It's about time," Mimi smiled.

* * *

"Good! When we were together, you were so demanding!" Kenta yelled.

"At least I wasn't a nagger," Kazu said back. "Wah waaah wah wah wah!"

"I do not sound like that!" Kenta began to raise his voice.

"Yes you do! I would know! You just can't keep away from me," Kazu jeered.

"You wish! You won't stop following me around! I barely had any room to breathe!" Kenta spat out.

"Then here's your chance!" Kazu pushed Kenta to the ground.

"We're so over!" Kenta yelled.

"Good! I could someone way better than you!" Kazu smirked.

"Fine!" Kenta scrunched up his face.

"Fine!" Kazu stuck his tongue out.

"Don't you just love it when couples divorce?" Marcus laughed.

"No...my parents divorced a long time ago. It still hurts...," Matt looked down on the ground.

"I'm-" Marcus looked up at Kazu and Kenta.

"I'm so sorry!" Kazu ran up to Kenta and hugged him.

"I'm sorry too!" Kenta cried.

"Let's never fight again!" Kazu sniffled.

"I promise!" Kenta said.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Why does it seem like these ceremonies get weirder and weirder as time goes on?" Gennai strutted around the campfire.

"What's strange this time?" Tai huffed.

"Let's just say we'll find out. Kari, Kouichi...you guys are in the bottom two," Gennai said.

"What? Me? Who would want to vote against me? I thought everybody liked me!" Kari was shocked.

"I don't like you," Zoe said.

"I thought everybody liked me," Kari repeated, ignoring Zoe.

"Well, someone doesn't like you, since you're in the bottom two. So, what makes this night different?" Gennai circled around Kari and Kouichi.

"I don't know. You tell us," Koji scoffed.

"Someone voted against themselves...whether it was an accident or not, there's no changing the votes now," Gennai smirked.

"Please let it be Kari, let it be Kari," Zoe crossed her fingers.

"Hate to disappoint you Zoe, but it's not Kari," Gennai shook his head.

"Kouichi! You voted yourself out?!" Tai and Rika shrieked.

"...," Kouichi shrugged and walked away.

"How could he be that stupid?" Zoe slammed her fist against her log.

"People do stupid things when they're in love," Gennai smirked.

"He was in love? With who?" everyone yelled in unison.

"Kari," Zoe said.

"He was in love with me?" Kari smiled. "I am more lovable than I thought!"

"That's not the only thing you are," Zoe muttered.

"Okay, time to wrap it up before someone gets thrown into the fire...literally," Gennai grimaced and swiped a finger across his neck.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"So why did you vote yourself out of the competition?" the cameraman asked Kouichi.

"Kari," Kouichi mumbled.


	19. Blue's Clues

**Lily's Contribution Corner: This episode is brought to you in part by witchsoul531, owner of Soulwitch, one of the highest-ranking bistros in the 2013 Zagat Guide! Come on in and enjoy the delectable selections they have to offer: salads, soups, sandwiches, and most importantly...fried chicken! Soulwitch, where they put the soul in soul food! Located on 531 Violet Boulevard. Halloween Special: If you show up in costume on Oct. 31, you can get 15% off your total order!***

***Offer only valid on October 31st of this year. Yeah, huge duh but you have no idea how many people show up in costume in May and expect a discount.**

* * *

**Recap:** What a week! Zoe wants to get back at Kari, Kazu and Kenta were briefly married (at least they lasted longer than any of Britney's marriages), Tai and Matt break some etiquette rules, and Marcus seems to be the only person who's got his head on straight. Then Gennai makes them play a twisted version of Jeopardy, where a few dirty little secrets were revealed. While everyone else was playing Jeopardy, Mum's the Word is the name of the game that Kouichi was playing. Maybe it was because he was scared about admitting to dressing up like a certain children's show host (and no, we aren't talking about DJ Lance Rock). Things are only heating up when Kari's blunt comments only makes Zoe madder. I'm pretty sure Henry would agree when we say Terriermon has more tact than Kari. Here's some advice Kar: sometimes it's better to keep quiet. Unfortunately, that advice didn't work for Kouichi since his silence cost Kick-Ass a chance to win, and he ended up being booted from the show. Hey, better having a smart mouth than a mute one!

* * *

**Gennai's Note: Sorry for the delay, but the creative team (mostly Lily) were preoccupied with another show, Odaiba High School Host Club, and they also had a little writer's block when it came to being creative for this challenge (sometimes the small things are hard to think of). After many packets of Oreos, and party poppers, we are proud to continue on to our regularly scheduled programming. By the way, don't tell Lily I made my own little note up here. She'll probably kill me or even worse, she might not let me make fun of the contestants anymore and that would make me very sad. Very. By the way, the development crew want to hear your opinions about the recaps? Love them? Hate them? Do you like having the recaps in each episode or is it too much filler? Tell them what you think by commenting or PMing CelticMagic!**

* * *

**Blue's Clues**

"Huh-YAH!"

"Gahhhh! You almost killed me!" Tai jumped. "Watch where you throw that thing!"

"Why don't you watch out where you're going?" Zoe hurled another plastic knife at the tree in front of her.

"Jesus," Tai muttered. He stood by a tree and watched Izzy sitting with Kazu and Kenta. Mimi was snuggled up against Izzy's arm.

"And the capital of North Dakota is?" Izzy held up a flash card in front of Kazu and Kenta.

"It's Bisquick!" Kazu shouted.

"Isn't that a name of a pancake mix?" Mimi asked.

"Yes. It is," Izzy sighed. "The capital of North Dakota is Bismarck."

"Yeah, that's what I said! Bisquick," Kazu said. "We're so gonna ace Ms. Asagi's geography test when we get back!"

"Let's move on to the next one," Izzy pulled out another flash card. "The capital of Florida?"

"Ooh! I know this one!" Kenta shot his hand up in the air.

"Then answer it, chumley!" Kazu jeered.

"Disney World," Kenta proudly said.

"Come on, Iz! Let's try something a little more challenging," Kazu rubbed his hands together.

"What's the national capital of the United States?"

"It's Denzel Washington!" Kazu scoffed.

"Isn't that the name of an actor?" Mimi tugged at the sleeve of Izzy's shirt.

"Yes. It is," Izzy droned.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Ever since me and Izzy have been boyfriend and girlfriend, I feel like soooo much smarter! We should play those flash card games more often," Mimi smiled. "I love having a smart boyfriend! Did I mention he's also cute?"

* * *

"Maybe helping the boys study for their geography test was a bad idea. As an experiment, I held the cards up with the answers facing them. And they still got the capitals wrong," Izzy shook his head.

* * *

"My brain hurts," Tai rubbed his temples and walked over to Matt and Marcus. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing," Marcus blew a strand of hair out of his face.

"Yep, nothing fun going on here. I'm trying to write a new song though," Matt strummed a couple of chords and grimaced.

"Sounds like it's going well," Tai laughed.

"Shut up! At least I have the chorus," Matt pressed his lips together.

"Okay, okay! Let's hear what you have so far," Tai said.

"Since we've got nothing better to do," Marcus added.

"Alright. This is just my first draft but here goes._ You run around, I run around, we're all gonna run run run around , you run around, I run around, we're all gonna run run run around_," Matt sang.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Tai shook his head.

"I like that," Matt grinned. "_Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, you run around, I run around, we're all gonna run run run around_...nice. I really like that," Matt nodded in satisfaction.

"That's nice. I'll leave you in peace so you can finish your little songwriting session," Marcus patted Matt on the back and walked away.

"I'll go too! See you Matt!" Tai bolted.

"Okay," Matt flexed his fingers. "_You run around, I run around..._"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Matt's songwriting skills suck enough as it is. And to think I accidentally helped him write this disaster of a song. Why is everyone running around? Is it because Matt's new song makes people wanna run around? More like people run away. I ran away and that was only a demo, I hope...I would bash the living crap out of myself with an aluminum baseball bat, but that's just crazy. Maybe I'll pay Marcus to beat me up. I do deserve it," Tai buried his face in his hands.

* * *

"I'm gonna beat the living crap out of Tai!" Marcus cracked his knuckles. "I have to share a trailer with that guy! Matt's cool and all but if he sings that song inside...I don't know what I'll do. Should I punch Matt's guitar, punch Tai, or beat Tai with Matt's guitar?"

**Daily Poll: What do you think Marcus should do? Send the codes below to TDIFI (83434) * to tell us what you think!**

**GUITAR** if you think Marcus should **punch Matt's guitar** into sawdust

**BIGHAIR** if you think Marcus should **punch Tai** into another dimension

**2xWHAM** if you think Marcus should **beat Tai** like a piñata **with Matt's guitar**

_*Message and data rates may apply._

* * *

"Hey guys!" Lily jumped into the middle of campgrounds. Nobody seemed to hear her so she climbed up on a log and raised a loudspeaker to her lips. "I SAID 'HEY GUYS!'" she blared.

"Oh, hi Lily!" everyone dashed over to her.

Lily counted everyone and shook her head. "No, we're missing two people."

"Oh, you mean Davis and Kari? They're making out behind the tree," Koji shrugged.

"Well, which one? There are a lot of trees around here," Rika scoffed.

"How about you and me find one of our own?" Koji winked at her.

"Seriously? In front of me?" Lily put her hands on her hips. "Just tell us which damn tree it is."

"You guys are no fun. It's the tree with all of the plastic knives sticking out of it," Koji jerked his thumb to the tree.

"Don't worry, Lil. I'll get those guys," Tai rolled up his short sleeves (which fell back down) and he stomped over to the tree. Seconds later, he was dragging Davis and Kari back to the campground by their ears. "You sit here," he shoved Davis into Kazu and Kenta. "And you're staying with me," he yanked Kari by her wrist.

"Good. Now that everyone's here, I don't have to repeat myself!" Lily beamed.

"What did you say?" Gennai walked over to Lily. "Sorry, I forgot these," he handed her some notepads.

"I was going to tell them about how we're close to the Autumn Leaf Fair," Lily said.

"Did you just say we're going the Autumn Leaf Fair?" Marcus asked.

"That sounds like fun!" Mimi squealed.

"Can we eat a whole bunch of caramel apples?" Davis asked. Zoe and Koji simply groaned.

"What's wrong you guys?" Tai asked them.

"Last time we went to the Autumn Leaf Fair, we had to go on a wild goose chase to find our D-Tectors," Koji grunted.

"Yeah. I even have a shirt from the fair," Zoe pulled out a large shirt that read "_I won an eating contest at the Autumn Leaf Fair and all I got was some Trailmon tickets...and this lousy T-shirt_."

"Sounds like you guys had a good experience," Matt said.

"Let's just say it was unforgettable," Koji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Especially the part where Zoe locked herself up in the bathroom for 3 days."

"Why were you locked up in the bathroom for that long?" Mimi asked Zoe.

"I'll give you a hint...," Koji had a devilish smile on his face.

"Koji! Don't!" Zoe's face reddened.

"It starts with a _die_ and ends with_ ah-reah_," Koji cackled.

"You had diarrhea?" Davis began to crack up.

"Shut up! It's called food poisoning!" Zoe shrieked.

"Well try not to get any during this time around...actually that might be easier said than done. Hopefully you guys will be distracted enough by a huge scavenger hunt that takes place throughout the entire fair to get any diarrhea. And look, I have these little notepads so you can record your items!" Lily handed a note pad to Marcus and Tai.

"Why is there a red armchair on the cover? That must be the most random thing to put on a notebook," Tai tapped at the notepad.

"And why is Gennai dressed up like a blue polka-dotted dog?" Kari asked.

"And if you think about it, what's with the green striped shirt and khakis? Horrible combination if you ask me," Mimi winced at Lily's outfit.

"I'm just trying to make things more fun around here!" Lily said. "In this scavenger hunt, you'll read some clues that will lead you to an item. Each item that you need to find will have one of these stickies," Lily waved around a blue post-it in the shape of a paw print. "These stickies will have another clue written on it that will lead to the next object you need to find. Once you find an item with a sticky on it, take it with you. There are three objects in total that you need to find. You can draw whatever you find in your handy-dandy notebook for future reference. When you find all three items, you will take them to the trading post. You will 'add' up your three items and trade them for an object that involves what you found."

"This sounds like a game I used to play when I was younger," Davis rubbed his chin.

"Yeah. I feel like I've seen this somewhere before," Matt said.

"Well, I have no damn clue what the hell you're talking about," Marcus said.

"I figured," Lily grabbed her tote bag and shook it so everything fell out. "For example, let's say your three items were lemons, sugar, and a pitcher. If you add all of those items together, what would you get?"

"Lemon bars!" Mimi squealed.

"NO! You forgot about the pitcher!" Lily yelled. "Anyone else wanna take a guess?"

"Margaritas," Koji nodded.

"Wrong," Lily gave him a thumbs-down. "First of all, margaritas are made from lime juice, not lemon. There's a huuuge difference, not that I need to explain anything about that."

"Look!" Gennai picked up the lemons, sugar, and pitcher. "Leh," he slammed the lemons down on the ground. "Meh," he dropped the sack of sugar. "Naid!" he finished off by smashing the pitcher into the dirt. "Freakin' lemonade!"

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Lily said.

"Ohhh," everyone nodded. "Makes sense now."

"Now that we're done with that, are you guys ready to play?" Lily said.

"Yeah!" everyone pumped their fists in the air.

"Okay!" Lily jumped and clapped. "The first clue will be in the front pocket of your backpacks! Gennai, give the kids their backpacks."

"Here you go," Gennai handed an ugly orange knapsack to each team. "Don't fight over them!"

"Hey! That backpack is like the same color as your hair," Kari pointed at Rika.

"I don't know if you're just making a simple observation or if you're trying to piss me off," Rika growled.

"It's most likely the second," Zoe said.

"It can't be. Kari can't piss Rika off if Rika's already pissed off," Koji smirked.

"Why do you always seem to take Kari's side?!" Zoe stomped her foot.

"What?! I'm not taking anyone's side!" Koji said. "It was just a joke, geez!"

"Can you guys behave? It would be nice to actually win a challenge for once," Tai sighed.

"I'm not gonna carry that! It'll clash with my outfit!" Mimi turned her nose up in the air.

"Please, your outfit clashes with your outfit," Kenta said.

"And that hair doesn't help," Kazu slowly shook his head.

"They have a point," Matt said. "Besides, don't you like accessories?"

"Teenagers. You tell them one thing, and they do the complete opposite," Gennai shrugged.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"Here's the first clue," Marcus pulled a blue paw print out of the knapsack.

"What's it say?" Matt looked over Davis's shoulder.

"Hopefully Kenta and Kazu have been listening to their teech. The state fruit of Georgia is _blank_," Marcus read.

"Aww, did Ms. Asagi tell Lily about our geography test?" Kenta groaned.

"That lady!" Kazu slammed his fist against his palm. "I thought we were friends!"

"Hey look!" Mimi pointed up in the sky.

"Is that an envelope hanging from a parachute?" Izzy squinted.

"Catch it, catch it!" Davis clapped like a seal, trying to grab the parachute.

"Hey, it's a letter," Marcus effortlessly caught the parachute and opened the envelope. "_Dear Kazu and Kenta, I am not your friend. Sincerely, Ms. Asagi_," he read from the letter.

"What?" Kenta looked upset.

"I don't like her anymore. I'll show her! I'm gonna skip her classes from now on!" Kazu declared.

"You already do that," Kenta said.

"Boys, do any of you know what the state fruit of Georgia is?" Matt grumbled.

"Uh...," Kenta buzzed.

"Nein, not a clue," Kazu proudly declared.

"It's the peach! Peach is the official state fruit of Georgia! I definitely wasted my time trying to help you out," Izzy groaned.

"That's what Ms. Asagi used to say...back when we were friends," Kazu frowned. "As soon as we get back home, I'm so defriending her on Facebook!"

"She ignored your friend request," Kenta pointed out.

"Shut up shut up shut up!" Kazu plugged his fingers in his ears.

"Why don't you both shut up? Let's just find the peaches and head on to the next clue," Matt said.

"Yeah, let's get this over with quickly. I'm getting hungry. I could go for some peach cobbler right now," Marcus rubbed his belly. "My mom made some good peach cobbler. It tasted amazing with ice cream on top too."

"Now I'm hungry too," Mimi whined.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"Okay, listen up! Here's our first clue!" Zoe commanded.

"Wait! Why do you act like you're the leader?" Kari said.

"If you don't like it, then you carry the backpack," Zoe slipped the bag off her shoulder and held it out to Kari. "Here, take it."

"No thanks," Kari shook her head.

"Then shut up," Zoe gave her a look. "On the good ship lollipop, it's a sweet trip to the _blank_ shop."

"To the sex shop?" Koji grinned.

"Come on. Grow up," Tai rolled his eyes.

"What?" Koji asked. "I was being serious. What else would make sense?"

"I don't know, maybe something like CANDY?" Rika snarled.

"Candy!" Kari squealed. "That makes a lot of sense!"

"Then let's find some candy!" Zoe said.

"We don't need you to tell us what to do. We already know where to go," Kari said.

"Really? Fine! Here, take the backpack. If you guys don't need me, then here. Hopefully you guys will be fine without me! Ciao!" Zoe slammed the backpack against Kari's chest and walked away.

"Where are you going?! Get back here!" Tai yelled. Zoe only waved goodbye as she walked off. "Are you kidding me?! We should be sticking together!"

"Leave her. If we lose, it'll be her fault and then we finally have a good excuse to kick her out," Kari gently petted her brother's arm.

* * *

_Zoe_

"I can't stand her!" Zoe grumbled, kicking at the door. "I'll show everyone! I'll find out all of the stuff on the scavenger hunt by myself. I don't need anyone, and I don't need her bitchiness! Besides, they don't know their way around here and I do. They'll regret having Kari on our team," Zoe walked around until she came across a candy shop.

"Hello! Welcome to Monzaemon's Sweet Shoppe!" a Monzaemon smiled. "If you need any help, don't be afraid to ask me anything!"

"Thanks," Zoe smiled. She looked through all the candy until she found a package with the pawprint sticky on it. "Excuse me, can I take this?"

"Sure! You're one of those reality TV show kids, right? I saw Gennai put one of the stickers here!" Monzaemon said excitedly.

"Yeah, that's me," Zoe peeled off the sticker and read what was written on it. She copied the riddle down in her notepad and stuck the pawprint to another bag of candy.

"Here you go," Monzaemon handed her a canvas tote to put the bag of candy in. "Good luck to you! And by the way, do you think the show would put in a good word for me? I love free advertisement!"

"Yeah, will do! Bye Monzaemon!" Zoe waved and continued on.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"That was kinda ironic. A giant orange selling peaches," Davis commented.

"Citramon's actually an explosive bomb," Marcus groaned.

"Oooh, cause a giant orange is so threatening," Kazu said.

"I know. It had to be one of the most pathetic Digimon out there, besides Sunflowmon," Marcus smirked.

"Sunflowmon? That does sound pathetic," Izzy grimaced. "What does the next clue say?"

"Waaait! I didn't draw the peaches in my handy dandy notebook!" Davis pulled out his notepad and drew a lumpy circle. "That doesn't look like a peach," he said disappointingly before he tried again. "Nope, that one looks even worse than the first one!"

"Come on Davis, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece! We don't have time for that!" Matt snapped.

"Just one more," Davis flipped to a blank page and scribbled a picture. "Awww crud! Look at that! Now that barely looks like a peach!"

"No, it does! It looks so real!" Marcus said.

"What?" everyone else said.

"Play along," Marcus mouthed.

"Oh yeah. That looks like the realist peach ever!" Mimi gushed.

"Your drawing is so good, I wanna eat the paper!" Kenta exaggerated.

"Too much," Kazu smirked.

"Yay! Maybe I could be an artiste!" Davis kissed his notebook.

Marcus took the bag of peaches out of Davis's knapsack and peeled the post-it off. "Alright, here's the next clue. Hooray! Since you found the peaches, find the thing people use for shade on the beaches."

"Keep shade on the beach...," Izzy rubbed his chin.

"Sunglasses!" Kazu blurted.

"We'll go with that," Matt nodded. "Anybody disagree?"

"Nope," Marcus said. "Congrats, little dude! You finally got something right!"

"Thanks! Hey...wait a minute!" Kazu said.

"I think I saw a surf shop somewhere. They would definitely have some shades, like the ones douchebag surfers would wear," Matt said.

"Do you think they would have cute bathing suits there?" Mimi asked.

"Who knows? We'll find out when we get there," Marcus shrugged.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"Hah, we really didn't need Zoe after all!" Kari grabbed a package of candy. "Look here!"

"It's got the pawprint on it," Koji shrugged.

"Hi children! Can I help you out?" Monzaemon asked.

"Hey, Monzaemon! It's me, Tai!" Tai waved at him. "Remember me? You hypnotized me, locked my digimon up in a chest, and made me act weird."

"I don't remember you, or me doing anything like that...," Monzaemon grimaced.

"That's because he was that creepy oversized teddy bear who chased me, Takuya, and Tommy around and then he turned evil because we didn't want to play with him," Koji said.

"Oh my god! Not all of us Monzaemon digimon are like that!" Monzaemon gasped.

"Are you sure about that? You seem to have a track record," Rika said.

"I didn't do anything! I'm just trying to run an innocent little candy shop here! I'm appalled by you kids!" Monzaemon said."Just get out of here before you make me cry!"

"Will do," Koji grabbed the candy and the kids walked a couple of feet away from the candy stand.

"Lemme see," Kari reached over Koji and peeled off the sticker. "I am rubber, you are ___blank_, words bounce off of me and stick onto you."_  
_

"What the hell does that even mean?" Rika made a face.

"I don't know. You stopped me at rubbers," Koji said.

"Dammit Koji, you're really starting to piss me off!" Tai yelled. "Can you stop saying innuendos for at least five minutes?!"

"In your endo," Koji replied back.

"I give up," Tai shook his head.

"Oh, now I get it! I am rubber, you are GLUE, words bounce off of me and stick onto you!" Kari said triumphantly. "I remember when TK used to tell me that after I made him cry."

"So we have to look for glue?" Koji asked.

"Sounds like it," Tai said. "Let's get a move on."

"Gahhh!" Kari shrieked.

"It's getting windy," Rika burrowed her face inside her turtleneck.

"You know what would be funny?" Koji smirked.

"Do we really wanna know?" Tai growled.

"What if it got so windy, the pawprints blew away from the glue bottle?" Koji smirked.

"Don't even joke like that," Tai huffed.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"We've looked through all of the sunglasses and none of them have a pawprint on them," Matt spun the sunglass rack.

"Oooh, doesn't this look so cute?" Mimi held up a sea shell necklace.

"We're not here to shop, we're here to find the next object," Marcus said.

"Maybe we just need to look a little deeper. Whatever we're looking for has to be here," Izzy walked around the surf shop.

"Hey look!" Kenta said. "Isn't this the smallest umbrella you've ever seen?"

"That's so cute!" Mimi grabbed it from Kenta's hand.

"Wait! There's a pawprint on it," Kazu pointed to the sticker.

"Then rip it out," Marcus took the post-it and read from it. "It can cut you up with all its blades, find this last object for the last trades."

"What. The. Hell?" Matt said. "Did Lily write these when she was drunk?"

"It might not sound logical but if we read this clue a bit more carefully, we might be able to find a hint that can lead us to something," Izzy looked at the pawprint.

"Like what else can we get from this? The clue is like two lines long," Marcus scoffed.

"Look, it says that this object had blades," Izzy said. "We should go to a place that sells sharp knives and the like."

"Wow, you're so smart!" Mimi kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah, you smartypants!" Davis cooed.

"Yay for sharp things!" Kazu cheered.

* * *

_Zoe_

"Ah hah!" Zoe held up the bottle of glue and ripped the pawprint out of it. "The weapon of choice for carjackers and baseball players alike, this wooden _blank makes a deadly strike. Deadly strike? Deadly strike...Carjackers and baseball players?" Zoe scribbled the clue in her notebook before sticking the pawprint onto another bottle of glue. "Baseball players...deadly strike...baseball bat! It's a baseball bat!" she said.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

Moments later, Kick-Ass made it to an arts-and-crafts booth. "So far we have candy and glue?" Rika frowned.

"If you ask me, it sounds like a kindergartner's dream. Eating candy and huffing on glue...which kid didn't dream of that when they were five?" Koji said.

"I never thought of that," Kari said.

"Neither did I," Tai said.

"Don't look at me. I'm not that stupid," Rika scoffed.

"Let's see what the next clue says," Tai turned the bottle of glue around to look at the sticky note. The wind suddenly became stronger and the pawprint flew out of the bottle and into the air. "What the heck?! Catch that pawprint!"

"This has to be the stupidest thing ever," Rika grumbled.

"Ahhh! It's getting away!" Kari tried to catch the post-it note.

"This is all your fault, Koji!" Tai yelled.

"What did I do?" Koji asked.

"Remember when you joked about the wind being so strong, the pawprints would fly away?" Tai said.

"You joked about something like that?" Kari gave Koji a doe-eyed look.

"It was just a joke! You guys act like I made that happen," Koji said.

"Well, you did," Rika said.

"HOW?!" Koji yelled.

"It seems like whatever you say happens!" Rika yelled back.

"Huh...," Tai said.

"As much as I enjoy everyone yelling at Koji, we have to catch that sticky!" Kari ran off.

* * *

_The BAMFS_

"Alright, this has to be the last place that sells sharp things," Davis pointed to a little shop. The sign on the shop read "Blades 'R Us: The Last Place That Sells Sharp Things".

"Hmm, what gave that away?" Matt smirked.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Mimi tiptoed into the store. "Helloooo?"

"Hi there!" an energetic-looking guy popped out from beneath a counter.

"Eeeeeep!" Mimi put her hands over her mouth.

"Mimi? Is everything okay?" Marcus ran over to her.

"Yeah. He just scared the bejeezus out of me," Mimi caught her breath.

"Hi everyone! My name is Vince! Can I introduce you to the...Slap Chop?" Vince pulled a little kitchen appliance out and put it on the counter. "Just see how it slices tomatoes in one easy SLAP!"

"Oooh, that's impressive," Kazu and Kenta stared at the tomato chunks.

"It is, and the price is even more so! For just 3 easy installments of $19.95, this Slap Chop can be all yours!" Vince pitched.

"You drive a real hard bargain sir," Kazu looked at the Slap Chop.

"That thing is so cool. I really want one of those," Kenta pouted.

"You don't need that. You guys don't even cook!" Matt said.

"It's not just for cooking! You can also...," Vince squinted his eyes. "You can...what else can you do with a Slap Chop?"

"Don't mean to interrupt, but can you help us find something?" Izzy stood in front of the counter.

"Possibly," Vince said.

"We need to find something that can cut stuff up with blades," Marcus said.

"Your prayers have been answered," Vince gently pushed the Slap Chop closer to the boys. "This thing has blades, and it can cut stuff up..."

"I don't think that's what we had in mind," Izzy shook his head.

"Then what else are you looking for?" Vince crossed his arms. "The only other things I have are ShamWows and Schticky rolls."

"I thought this was Blades 'R Us," Davis looked confused.

"And I'm not Italian. Sometimes names don't paint the most accurate picture," Vince casually pressed on the Slap Chop.

"Look, we've been to all of the other places and we couldn't find anything. Do you have something here that has a blue pawprint on it?" Izzy asked.

"Now that you mention it, I do...," Vince opened a rusty cabinet and pulled out a broken blender. "It was sitting out in front of my shop and I just put it away not too long before you kids showed up. You guys can have that heap of junk."

"Thanks!" Matt said.

"Now how about that Slap Chop? Get them before they're gone," Vince sang.

"I don't have any money," Kenta said.

"Me neither, but do you take Digimon cards?" Kazu asked.

"Why yes! How much you talkin'?" Vince looked interested.

"How about this many?" Kazu emptied all of his pockets and put a huge pile of Digimon cards on the counter.

"Deal!" Vince shook Kazu's hand and gave him the Slap Chop.

"You're so lucky," Kenta said to Kazu.

* * *

_Zoe_

"I have a baseball bat, glue, and a bag of candy," Zoe said to herself. "But what could you do with all three combined?" she flipped through her little notepad and shook her head. "I gotta think...think...think," Zoe hummed. "Cause when we use our mind, take a step at a time...," she began to whistle. "We can do anything that we wanna do, doo doo doo doodoo doo doo," Zoe twirled her baseball bat and started walking over to the trading post.

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"Score! I think we're the first ones to make it here!" Marcus said.

"Now we just have to figure out what we can trade these things for," Izzy said.

"I took down some notes!" Davis pulled out his notebook.

"Hmm...," Matt was puzzled by the random scribbles Davis drew. "I just want to make sure I'm reading this right, but what is this?" he pointed to a huge black scribble.

"That's the umbrella," Davis said.

"And how about that?" Marcus pointed to a scribble that resembled a dead cat.

"That's the peach," Davis replied.

"So that means this is the blender?" Izzy pointed to a doodle of a crayon.

"No. That's a crayon. Gosh, Izzy. I thought you were the smart one! _This_ is the blender," Davis pointed to a scribble that looked like a carton of milk.

"Riiight," Matt said. "That's just what we thought."

"So what would we get if we put together a peach, a tiny umbrella, and a blender?" Marcus pondered.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking about a peach smoothie," Mimi said.

"A peach smoothie? That's a great idea!" Izzy said.

"It is, but we should probably find something to trade this stuff for first," Mimi said.

"Ironic. Smart guy, not-so-smart girl. Match made in heaven if you ask me," Matt laughed to himself.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"Let's just go to the trading post. We can't find the damn pawprint_ *cough cough*_ Koji _*cough cough*_, so we'll just find something that involves glue and candy," Tai said.

"But Tai, you said quitting is for losers. The Tai I know would keep looking around," Kari said.

"But we are losers. We lost the pawprint, and we're losing time trying to find it. If we don't head over to the trading post soon, we're going to lose this challenge too," Tai said.

"He's right. I just want to get out of here quickly. I can't smell anything but barf and funnel cakes," Rika complained.

"Well, here's hoping there's a little kid in the trading post," Koji muttered.

"For the last time, not all kids dream about eating bagloads of candy and getting high off glue," Tai said.

"And cows don't moo," Koji said.

"I'm getting tired of the both of you. Let's just get over there," Rika pointed to a large tent.

"Zoe! What are you doing here?" Kari asked.

"Depends. What are you doing here? Did you get all of the clues?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah," Kari scoffed.

"Okay, then what were they?" Zoe said.

"Candy, glue and mffffkopmf," Kari said.

"Come again? What was the last thing?" Zoe cupped her ear.

"We didn't find the last item," Tai said.

"I did," Zoe pulled out her baseball bat. "Maybe you guys didn't need me after all."

"Seems like you can do fine by yourself," Kari said. "Because that's where you'll be for a long time. By yourself."

"At least I don't need any help to get things done half-right," Zoe crossed her arms.

"Knock it off! Let's just trade this stuff off and get to Lily before the other team," Tai yelled.

"Well, I already did!" Zoe said.

"You what? You didn't even have the nerve to ask the rest of us what we should get?" Kari asked.

"Well, I didn't ask you to help me find anything, so I sure as hell didn't think I needed your opinion," Zoe replied. "I traded everything for a pinata!"

"A pinata? Did they run out of kindergartners?" Koji asked.

"For the last time, they don't think about huffing glue!" Tai yelled.

"If you think you had it all figured out, then why didn't you get to Lily without us?" Kari said.

"I decided to do the nice thing and wait for the rest of you guys, so it looks like we did this as a team," Zoe casually said.

"We did do this as a team. We just split up into two groups," Kari said.

"Yeah, me versus the rest of you," Zoe said.

"Can you guys just shut up? We found the pinata, so let's go already! You girls can talk when we get back to the trailer," Tai ushered everyone forward.

* * *

"Hey Lily, we made it!" Tai panted.

"That's good news. Too bad you guys weren't the first," Lily pointed at the BAMFs, who were wearing leis and enjoying their peach smoothies underneath a huge umbrella.

"Can we have smoothies too?" Kari asked.

"No," Lily said. "You can have marshmallows though, at tonight's Campfire Ceremonies!"

"That's not the same," Koji said.

"Now give me the pinata," Lily took the pinata from Zoe. "I've been dying for a Milky Way!" Lily cut the bottom off with a blade and a bunch of candy fell out.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Whoa ho ho! One of you guys down, and four more to go. You guys must be proud of yourselves! You guys just keep dropping like flies," Gennai chuckled. Everyone sat silently.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Koji," Rika nodded.

* * *

"I normally would have voted Zoe out. She did walk out on us, but she finished the scavenger hunt without us. Even though we lost, I couldn't vote her off this time," Tai said.

* * *

"The sooner Kari gets out of here, the better," Zoe jerked her thumb to the side and blew a raspberry.

* * *

"Now which one of you guys have been on your best behavior?" Gennai jeered. "One of you kids on the bottom two will be booted to the Loser Cruiser. Now the hard part is picking the one who gets to go home," he circled around Kari and Koji. "Lucky for me, your other teammates already made that decision for me! And the person who leaves the competition is K...Koji!"

"What?" Koji and Zoe said in unison.

"What did I do?" Koji asked.

"Even since the haunted house challenge, we've been losing every other challenge," Rika said.

"What? It's not like I had anything to do with it," Koji pointed to himself.

"You were the one who did all of things that causes bad luck," Tai said. "Remember when you stepped on a crack and broke your mother's crack?"

"You did do that," Kari nodded.

"Stay out of this, dollface," Koji said. "Is that the excuse you're using to kick me off? Those are only superstitions! It's not like I cursed our team."

"Now that I think about it, it's like everything bad you say happens to come true," Zoe said.

"There was today, where you joked about the sticky note flying away. Then there was that one time where Takato got sick from the mushrooms of forgetfulness, and you kept going on about saying that at least they wouldn't give him a fever, make him pass out, and give him a seizure," Tai said.

"And all of that did happen," Rika said.

"Or when Kari was trying to lead Kouichi through that minefield? It was going horribly and then you said something about how Kouichi would set off half the bombs," Tai said.

"And it happened," Kari said.

"Are you sure that wasn't because Kari didn't care enough about Kouichi to keep him away from the bombs? She gave him terrible directions," Zoe said.

"Yeah, let's listen to Zoe for once! She's got a good point there," Koji said.

"Sorry, but even if you wanted to change your mind, the votes have already been cast and there's no changing that," Gennai pretended to be empathetic.

"Oh! Remember when Tai was flying that airplane and you said something about how it wasn't your fault if the helicopter fan broke?" Kari smiled. "And then the helicopter fan broke and the plane sunk into the water and Rika was trapped inside!"

"You said what?!" Rika yelled.

"It was just a joke! It wasn't like I threw rocks at the fan or something!" Koji protested.

"I don't believe in these superstitions, but it's true. I just can't stand anything that comes out of your mouth," Rika crossed her arms.

"Maybe I can change your mind," Koji smirked. He pulled Rika toward him and stuck his tongue into her mouth.

"Pfft," Rika pushed him away and wiped her mouth. "What the heck?"

"You know you liked it," Koji winked. "If you want, I'll get a second opinion," Koji grabbed Zoe's face and kissed her.

"Get off!" Zoe struggled to get away from Koji.

"Oh trust me, I will," Koji let go of Zoe and started to walk away.

"Hey! What about me?" Kari asked.

Koji stopped and turned around. "Sorry, bros before hos! Au reviour everybody!" Koji held up a peace sign and walked away.

"That was...interesting," Gennai grimaced.

* * *

_Last words_

"Sure, I might be out of the competition, but I made it out like a boss!" Koji smirked. "Besides, I know Rika chick liked it. How could anybody resist _this__?"_


	20. Capture The Flag Football

**Lily's Contribution Corner:** This episode is brought to you in part by witchsoul531, owner of Soulwitch, one of the highest-ranking bistros in the 2013 Zagat Guide! Come on in and enjoy the delectable selections they have to offer: salads, soups, sandwiches, and most importantly...fried chicken! Soulwitch, where they put the soul in soul food! Located on 531 Violet Boulevard. An exclusive limited-time offer for all of our TDI***** fans: Buy 1 entree, get the other entree for 50% off!

***Only applies to TDI File Island fans. Not the original TDI, Total Drama Action, Total Drama World Tour, or Total Drama Revenge of the Island. I mean, if you like those seasons, that's cool but you're not getting the discount unless you like TDI File Island too.**

* * *

**Recap:** Lily decides to put her own spin on a popular children's TV show, which sends the contestants scrambling throughout the Autumn Leaf Fair to play a scavenger hunt. While the BAMFs are momentarily quizzed on US state capitals and symbols, Kick-Ass Fireproblem (that's not a typo) were fighting with each other...again. Frustrated, Zoe ends up walking out of the team, trying to complete the challenge on her own. Things go pretty smoothly for the BAMFs as they cruise through the fair and encounter a TV celebrity. Too bad Kick-Ass weren't doing as well. Koji's negativity causes the team to lose their last riddle, which blew away in the wind. Zoe manages to find all three things on the scavenger list on her own, but it doesn't matter since the BAMFs already beat them to the chase. Koji gets sent home for his self-fulfilling prophecies. You sure blew it, Koji! At least you made out like a boss-err...I mean made it out like a boss.

* * *

**Capture The Flag Football**

"I say good riddance to that guy! Now we won't have to hear 'that's what she said' anymore," Tai huffed.

"Yeah, he's such a perv," Kari agreed.

"You're just mad cause you're the only girl Koji didn't kiss," Zoe smirked.

"That's not something I would brag about," Rika said in disgust. "I can't take the taste out of my mouth," she dabbed her tongue with wristband.

"Oh, I'm not jealous! I'm happy for you. You finally got your first kiss. Sure, he only kissed you so he could prove he's an asshole, but at least you finally got kissed," Kari smirked.

"Can you guys stop talking about this? As the only source of testosterone here, the last thing I want to do is listen to my little sister sharing smooch stories with you girls," Tai shuddered.

"Yeah, so act like a time capsule, Kari. Can it and don't open it until 2050," Zoe said.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I don't like Zoe at all. She's always picking fights with Kari. I mean, what did Kari ever do to her? My baby sister's probably the sweetest person in the world. Sure, she gets around more than the flu, but doesn't that just prove how friendly she is? I don't know what kind of vendetta Zoe's got against her, but honestly I don't care. I just don't trust Zoe in general," Tai said.

* * *

"_Let's gather round the campfire and sing a campfire song_, _a c_-_a_-_m_-_p_-_f_-_i_-_r_-_e_-_s_-_o_-_n_-_g_, _and if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong_,_ but it'll help if you just sing along_," Matt strummed on his guitar.

"_Garondfiresibfage_," Kazu and Kenta tried to sing along.

"Marcus?" Matt gave Marcus an eager look.

"..." Marcus silently glared at Matt.

"Good!" Matt smiled and continued playing his song.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I hate this. I used to think Matt was a normal guy, but he's just as weird as everyone else. I feel so alone...not that I care, but would it hurt to talk to someone normal?! Matt's singing away to Kazu and Kenta like he was Raffi, Davis has been disappearing off to god knows where, Izzy's getting whipped, and Tai pisses me off most of the time. And there's no way I'm gonna hang out with any of the girls here. They're always fighting with each other, especially Kazu and Kenta," Marcus groaned. "I guess the next normalist person is Rika, but I'm not hanging out with her. She reminds me of a pitbull...make a sudden movement and she'll rip your face off."

* * *

"I'm so tired! I'm gonna head over to caravan!" Mimi yawned. "What the?! Why is there yellow tape all over the door?"

"That's just my way of saying that you guys aren't going to your RVs just yet," Lily snuck up behind her.

"Gahhhh!" Mimi shrieked. "What's with the ninja suit?!"

"Why do you always have to criticize my outfits?" Lily put her hands on her hips, clearly offended.

"Why can't we go to sleep? I'm exhausted," Kari stretched her arms.

"Because your next challenge starts in an hour!" Gennai grinned.

"One hour?!" Everyone shrieked.

"Yep, and you'll be using that one hour to come up with a battle plan for our game of Capture the Flag!" Gennai smirked.

"I divided the Autumn Leaf Fairgrounds in half. One half for Kick-Ass, and the other for the BAMFs," Lily said. "You guys are going to play a little game that's a mix of Flag Football and Capture the Flag. Since you kids will be playing in the dark, you'll be wearing these reflective bands so that you can find each other. Kick-Ass will wear the orange bands, and the BAMFs will wear purple," Lily held up several strips of reflective tape.

"Cool! So we're gonna glow in the dark, like in Tron!" Kenta excitedly flapped his hands.

"Without the cool motorcycles and that hot chick," Kazu said.

"Yeah, whatever...," Lily made a face. "You guys will also be wearing these rags, which are attached to these velcro belts. Like I said, Kick-Ass will wear purple and BAMFs get purple."

"That means orange is Kick-Ass's team color and purple is the BAMFs team color," Gennai grinned.

"The main idea of the game is to get these flags...," Lily handed huge flags to Tai and Marcus. "Back to your territory before the other team does."

"I suggest you guys put it in the farthest point possible," Gennai whispered.

"Just keep in mind several rules:

1) When you decide where to stick your flag, you have to put the flag where it's easy to spot. You also can't cover up your reflective tape. It has to stay on your arm.

2) Each team has to pick a spot that they will use as a 'jail'. This is where you will hold the enemy prisoners, unless they manage to break out.

3) Once you step inside enemy territory, you're at risk to being sent to 'jail. The enemy can tag you as long as you're on their territory. They're not allowed to tag you on your own territory.

4) In order to send one of your enemies to jail, you must rip these handkerchiefs off from their velcro belts.

5) Any of your teammates can break you out of jail by taking the flag back from the guard and giving you a high-five.

6) Whoever guards the jail is not allowed to touch or restrain their prisoners. They can block the prisoners from escaping, kinda like a goalie.

7) You can't touch your own team's flag, but you can touch the opposing team's flag. You can put someone to guard the flag, but they can't be any closer than 10 feet away from it, and they can't touch the flag either.

8) You have to try and get the enemy flag back to your side of the fairgrounds first. If you're holding the flag and happen to get caught, the flag stays in the spot you got tagged in.

9) You can use anything from the booths on your side of the fair to help you out, but you can't use anything from the booths on your opponent's land. Just don't use them as weapons, okay?

Oh, and before I forget...," Lily dragged a huge cardboard box over.

"You guys will get to wear these burglar suits!" Gennai held up a black shirt and black yoga pants. "We had to make the game a little hard for you guys, so what better way to do it than to wear black?"

"Those are ninja suits!" Lily yelled.

"Nuh uh! They're burglar suits!" Gennai yelled back.

"Are you seriously going to question me?!" Lily shrieked.

"Yeah! The Hamburglar wears these kinda clothes, so he can...you know, steal hamburgers without getting caught? Duh," Gennai scoffed.

"Actually, the Hamburglar wears a black-and-white striped suit," Matt said.

"And he wears a red tie with hamburgers on it," Tai added.

"Hah! They're ninja suits! Now shut up and go to the kitchen," Lily pushed Gennai.

"Noooo," Gennai whined. "Mrs. Kamiya's in there..."

"I don't want to talk about that," Lily shuddered. "Alright kiddos, here are your ninja suits and you have a half-hour to come up with your battle plan."

"I thought we had a whole hour," Zoe said.

"No, I said we had an hour before the next challenge started," Lily said.

"But Gennai said we'd be using that hour to think of a plan," Tai protested.

"Yes, using the hour...doesn't mean you get a whole hour. That just means you're going to use this hour...," Lily checked her watch. "Which happens to be 11pm, and since it's 11:35, you guys only have twenty-five minutes. Any more questions?"

"Nope," Marcus crossed his arms.

* * *

_Kick-Ass Firepower_

"We're so screwed! There's only four of us and a lot of them," Tai frantically ran his fingers through his hair.

"Don't talk like that! The Tai I know wouldn't say this quitter talk," Kari said. "He would be too stubborn to give up!"

"Shut up! The Kari I know wouldn't be hooking up with everyone from a dorky German exchange student to Davis!" Tai yelled, and automatically covered his mouth.

"You're fooling around with Davis?" Rika tried to hold in her laughter.

"That's old news! I've known that for weeks," Zoe said.

"You've known this for a while? Why didn't you say anything?" Tai gasped.

"Because I'm the super bitch, right Tai? If I told you your sister was a slut, you would think I was just spreading rumors, now wouldn't you?" Zoe nonchalantly blew on her nails.

"Wow, I must be the last person who knows this," Rika raised an eyebrow.

"No, I don't think anyone on the other team knows...well, besides Davis," Zoe said.

"And even then, he wouldn't know that Kari's fooling around with him. He's such a gogglehead," Rika scoffed.

"Hey! Don't you talk about him like that!" Kari yelled.

"So now you care about your 'boyfriends'?" Zoe sneered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kari asked.

"There was TK...you made out with him and the next thing you know, you knock him overboard with a paint balloon because you know he couldn't swim," Zoe said.

"That happened on two different occasions!" Kari protested. "Besides, why do you care? Did you like TK or something? Not that he would like you back, you're not his type. He likes pretty girls."

"What are you trying to say?!" Zoe growled.

"Hello?!" Tai waved his arms around, trying to get the girls' attention.

"How about Kouichi? You strung that poor boy around like a spindle," Zoe pretended to have a piece of string on her finger.

"How did I do that? I didn't even know he liked me!" Kari said defensively. "He was a nice guy, but I only thought of him as a friend."

"Suuuure," Zoe said.

"Dammit! I had enough of you two! If you guys want to beat the other team, then we've got to work TOGETHER! I'm not saying you have to like each other, but your little fights aren't going to help us win!" Tai yelled.

"He's right. I should be focusing on how to make us win, not wasting my time telling Kari the truth about herself," Zoe smirked.

"Please, you're the one-," Kari said.

"What did I just say? Do you guys want to win?!" Tai yelled.

"I hate this...," Rika groaned. "That's why I don't hang out with girls...they make no sense whatsoever."

* * *

_The BAMFs_

"Alright, this is how it's gonna work!" Davis arranged Monopoly game pieces on the ground. "Marcus, Matt. You guys will be the offense team and I'll be part of the defense team."

"Then where does that leave the rest of us?" Izzy asked.

"You guys are just the filler," Davis flipped through his playbook.

"That's not very nice," Kenta pushed up his glasses.

"I meant to say... buffers," Davis said. "You see, I assigned Marcus and Matt to be the offense cause the important thing is trying to get the enemy flag back to our territory. I'm pretty sure that I can handle defending our flag by myself. Izzy, you'll be in charge of guarding the jail," Davis moved a top hat-shaped pawn to the side. "Mimi, you're gonna be wandering in the middle of our territory, trying to tag our enemies."

"No!" Mimi pouted.

"Why?" Davis angrily huffed.

"No! I want to be the race car! I don't wanna be the trash can," she whined.

"You mean the thistle?" Marcus picked up the game piece.

"Yeah, that thing!" Mimi pointed to the thistle.

"Fine," Davis took the thistle from Marcus's hand and put the dog-shaped piece on the floor. "Happy? You get to be the race car."

"Yay!" Mimi clapped in delight. "Now what do I do?"

"You try to tag people from the opposite team so you can send them to jail," Davis said.

"Okay!" Mimi beamed.

"Kazu, Kenta. I'm pushing you guys up front to the borderline," Davis placed a dog and the thimble in front of a line. "You guys will try and stop the other team from crossing the boundary line."

"Sweet!" Kazu smiled.

"Booyah!" Kenta shot his fist up in the air.

"We've got seven against their four, so there's no way in hell we can lose," Davis smiled. "We're gonna be undefeated!"

"Good, cause I have my money on you guys," Gennai peeked his head out through the bushes.

"Gennai? What are you doing?" Matt asked.

"Just spying on everyone, being nosy, the usual," Gennai shrugged. "You should see the other team...all they're doing is fighting with each other," he chuckled.

"So we're definitely going to win," Marcus grinned.

"Who's a badass motherfucker?!" Davis yelled. Everyone stayed silent. "This is where you're supposed to say 'we are'...let's try this again. Who's a badass motherfucker?"

"We are!" everyone cheered back.

* * *

_The Battlefield (Kick-Ass Territory)_

"This is creepy. I feel like I'm in a ghost town," Matt whispered.

"At least that means we'll easily get to the flag," Marcus said. "Now let's get a move on. Do you see the flag?"

"It's right over there...where I don't know how to get there. It's like a maze," Matt squinted his eyes. "A dark, dark maze."

*_CRASH*_

"Wahhh! What the heck was that?!" Matt spazzed.

"How the hell does a random crate of oranges fall out of nowhere?" Marcus picked up one of the oranges.

"How do you know it's an orange? It could be something else," Matt asked.

"Cause it feels like an orange, smells like an orange, and it's probably the same color as an orange," Marcus said.

"I hate this challenge already," Matt huffed. "Let's just get this over with...I mean, there are only four people on their team. It can't take this long."

"Alright. Keep your eyes peeled for orange strips," Marcus looked around.

"Hahahahahaha! You'll never find me!"

"Tai...," Marcus growled. "I'm gonna find you, and when I do I'm gonna take that flag and shove it-,"

"Shhh!" Matt clamped his hand over Marcus's mouth. "Don't say anything. It could be a trick..."

"Like this?"

*_RIP!*_

"Rika?" Matt gasped.

"Are you kidding me?" Marcus hissed. "She took your handkerchief?"

"And if you don't stop talking, she'll take yours too!"

_*RIP*_

"Crap! This SUCKS!" Marcus said as Rika dragged them to a booth.

* * *

"Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?" Kazu bobbed around.

"We're not sitting down...," Kenta said.

"Out of the doorway, the bullets RIP!" Zoe charged right into Kazu.

"To the sound of the beat," Kari happily skipped alongside Zoe.

"You know what to do," Zoe whispered to Kari.

"Yeah, you don't need to tell me. I already know," Kari said, calmly walking.

*_RIP!*_

"What was that?" Zoe asked.

"That was me sending you to jail," Izzy held up an orange handkerchief.

"Hee hee hee," Kari giggled. "I guess you're the one who doesn't know what she's doing!"

"But everyone knows who you're doing!" Zoe spat back.

"I would talk, but I don't want to be caught by a nerdy ginger! Bye bye!" Kari skipped away.

"That whore!" Zoe clenched her fist.

"Is she always like this?" Izzy made a face.

"Aren't you friends with that girl?" Zoe said in disgust.

"SOMEONE GET US OUT OF HERE!"

"Is that Matt?" Izzy asked.

"WE'RE IN JAIL!"

"That's definitely Marcus," Izzy said.

"They're trapped! We gotta help them escape!" Kenta started running to the Kick-Ass territory.

"STOP! Don't do anything! I'll go get them! I need one of you guys to guard the jail," Izzy yelled.

"I'll do it!" Kenta said.

"Okay," Izzy waited until Kenta made it over to the jail spot, and he ran off.

* * *

"_Pssst, Tai to Rika! Tai to Rika!_"

"Ugh...I knew that these walkie-talkies were gonna be annoying," Rika huffed.

"Where did they even get walkie-talkies from?" Marcus asked.

"They probably have some electronic store around," Matt whispered.

"I hope we have some useful stuff on our side of the fair," Marcus said.

"I hope we have some useful people on our side of the fair," Matt muttered.

"_Tai to Rika! TAI TO RIKA!_"

"Ugh...," Rika pulled her walkie-talkie out of her pocket. "WHAT?!"

"_How's it going so far? I'm getting pretty bored out here._"

"You should be happy about that! Hopefully you'll stay bored for a while, cause I got the two goons in jail," Rika scoffed into her walkie-talkie.

"Izzy?" Matt said.

"Shhh!" Izzy hissed. "I'm gonna break you guys out, but you're going to have to stay quiet."

"Okay," Marcus nodded.

"If you're so hungry, then go get one of the stale hot dogs from the Nathan's stand! It's not like anyone's on their way-"

*_RIP RIP*_

_"_Ugh, I'll talk to you later," Rika clicked her walkie-talkie off.

"Hurry Izzy!" Marcus held up his hand.

*_CLAP* _"Go!" Izzy said. Before he could give Matt a high-five, Rika ripped the handkerchief off Izzy's belt. "Crap!"

"You goons," Rika smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I think Marcus can handle Tai alone," Matt said.

"Yeah, me too," Rika said.

* * *

"I just have to get through Mimi and Davis and it'll be easy," Kari said to herself, hiding behind a tent.

"Aww, this one has no more flavor," Mimi took the wad of gum out of her mouth and threw it on the ground.

Kari peered over the tent, staying still until she saw Mimi ripping up another packet of Big League Chew. "Showtime," Kari said as she stealthily sprinted past Mimi.

*_Squish* _

"Huh?" Kari struggled to move her foot. She kneeled on the floor to get a better look of the dirt. "Oh my gosh...how many pieces of gum did she chew?" she gasped at the amount of various-colored gum on the floor.

"How does the flavor go by so quickly?" Mimi whined and spit the gum out.

"This is so gross...," Kari touched her hair and felt a wet, mushy goop on the back of her neck. She crawled on the floor and got her knee stuck into another wad of gum. "I can't move! If I can just...," Kari took off her shoes and pushed herself forward.

*_RIP_*

"This is great!" Kari frowned. "I guess on the bright side, this might help me out..." she said as she sidestepped away from the gum.

*_GLOOP*_

"Ohhh! You're going to jail!" Mimi skipped over to Kari and ripped the flag from Kari's belt. "Yay! I caught someone!" she excitedly cheered as she pulled Kari into jail.

"Zoe? You're here too?" Mimi looked confused.

"Don't even," Zoe glared at her.

"Hey guys! I think the guys are stuck in jail!" Kazu yelled.

"What makes you think that?" Mimi yelled back.

"Because nobody's back yet," Kazu said. "Mimi, can you go man the border while I see what's going on?"

"Man? I'm not a man!" Mimi stomped her foot.

"Whatever! I'm going," Kazu yelled and ran to the other side of the fair.

"Hey! Wait!" Mimi ran off after him.

"I'm watching you...I'm watching you, watching me...wait. Why are your guys looking at me like that?" Kenta nervously shook.

"Oh, no reason...," Zoe smirked. Both her and Kari had evil looks on their faces.

* * *

"Kazu!" Matt said.

"What did you say?" Rika turned to look at him.

"Nothing. He just sneezed," Izzy elbowed Matt.

"Get a new sneeze," Rika said before she looked out into the field again.

"What are you doing here?" Matt whispered.

"I'm trying to bust you guys out of jail," Kazu said at normal volume.

"Really?" Rika put her hands on her hips. "You couldn't send someone smarter?" she yanked Kazu's rag off his belt.

"Not really...we're as smart as they come," Matt said.

"That's pretty sad when all the smart guys are in jail," Rika snorted as she stuck Kazu's flag onto her velcro belt.

* * *

"Come out come out, wherever you are...," Tai taunted.

"Aww right! It's fighting time!" Marcus snuck up behind Tai and punched him in the face.

"You're gonna have to do a lot more than that to knock me down!" Tai yelled.

"Like this?" Marcus ran past Tai and grabbed the giant flag.

"Please! I'll kick your ass!" Tai chased after him but Marcus kicked him in the gut.

"Remember, you have to stay 10 feel away from the flag...," Marcus hit Tai with the flagpole.

"It doesn't count if you already took it from the starting spot!" Tai yelled, trying to hit Marcus.

"You're just mad cause I'm gonna win one for the team!" Marcus laughed as he ran off with the flag.

* * *

"What are you guys trying to do?" Kenta trembled.

"Nothing...," Kari said, crawling closer and closer to him.

"One...two...THREE!" Zoe tackled into Kenta and ripped the orange flags from his belt. "Here!" she threw one of the flags at Kari. They high-fived and dashed off.

"My nuts...," Kenta groaned.

"Alright! You distract and I'll go get the flag," Zoe said.

"No! I'll get the flag and you distract," Kari said. "Last time you told me what to do, you ended up in jail!"

"And I'm going to end up in jail for another reason: kicking your ass!" Zoe yelled.

"Oooh! You guys broke out of jail!" Mimi chased after them.

"We're not scared of you!" Zoe scoffed.

"You should be, cause I'm gonna- oof!"

"Gonna what?" Zoe rubbed her head.

"Did you just tackle...wait. Why am I asking you anything? Time to dash," Kari ran off and sprinted to Davis. "Hey, sexy...," she purred.

"Hey," Davis cleared his throat and stood up strange.

"What are you doing looking like a stud?" Kari grabbed him by the shirt.

"I'm just guarding the flag," Davis said, trying to sound manly.

"Well, you seem to be doing a really good job at it. I don't think anyone will get close to you," Kari batted her eyelashes.

"You think?" Davis said.

"Oh yeah...," Kari stroked his cheek. "I'm supposed to be guarding the jail on my side of line, but I couldn't help to sneak over so I could see you."

"Really? You did that for me?" Davis gasped.

"Oh yeah...," Kari pulled him close and kissed him. She opened her eyes to see Zoe grab the purple flag. "Okay, I'm done!" Kari pushed Davis to the floor and chased after Zoe.

"Wait! Why? Do I have bad breath? Did I drool too much?" Davis called.

"What are you doing? I was going to get the flag!" Kari yelled.

"Why don't you just do what you're good at, and stick to making out with anything that has a-," Zoe said before she bumped into a booth.

"Hah! That's what you get!" Kari grabbed the flag from Zoe's hands and began running off. "See you at the winner's circle...if you even make it there!"

_*RIP*_

"Ha hah! I sent you to jail again!" Mimi held up Kari's orange handkerchief.

"Nyah nyah!" Zoe picked the flag up from the floor. "With you out of the way, we can finally win without you screwing something up!"

* * *

"You think you're such a big shot, with your muscles and your hair...but you're not gonna win this time!"

"Oh yeah? What makes you think that?" Marcus was a good distance away from Tai. "Look what I can do!" he ripped the flags off of Rika's belt, handed them back to his teammates, and gave them high-fives before Rika could make a move. "Run, guys, run!"

"That's nice, but too bad I'm gonna-what? Hey!" Tai shrieked as Marcus grabbed the huge flag and sprinted toward the border.

"What the...?!" Marcus yelled before he got knocked over by Zoe.

"Guess who won?" Zoe smirked.

"Zoe...," Tai said.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Great. Zoe wins again...," Tai groaned. "Like we need another reason to have her rub something in our faces. I guess I shouldn't complain since we won't be in the Campfire Ceremonies the second time in one night."

* * *

"I'm so proud of you guys! See, this is what happens when you overcome your differences and work together!" Tai pressed Zoe and Kari together.

"Are you sure of that?" Rika laughed. "I think we just got lucky."

"No, we won because these two worked together," Tai insisted.

"Yeah. Kari made out with everyone, and I brought the flag back to our territory," Zoe said nonchalantly.

"Makes sense," Rika said.

"Can we try to make this a happy moment? We beat the odds! This wouldn't have happened if Koji stayed around," Tai said.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"It's so weird. I haven't sat out here in a long time," Marcus said.

"I guess we just got used to Kick-Ass losing every challenge," Izzy said.

"I can't even sit on these logs!" Davis abruptly stood up and cringed.

"They're just normal logs. You sat on that exact log this morning," Matt smirked.

"In a show like this, you guys can't afford to be comfortable," Gennai shook his head. "Especially you two..." he said to Kazu and Kenta. "You guys ended up with a nearly equal amount of votes..."

"Why us?" Kazu said.

"Because you're annoying," Matt said.

"And you guys use all my makeup," Mimi said.

"But we don't deserve to lose! Davis was making out with Kari the whole time, and he was supposed to be guarding the flag!" Kenta pointed at Davis.

"You did what?!" everyone shrieked.

"I can't believe it...Kari kissed you and liked it?" Izzy gasped.

"Where are the flying pigs?" Marcus looked up in the sky.

"Ha hah, you're a natural comedian...," Davis groaned.

"Hey look! There's a bunch of flying pigs up there!" Mimi pointed to the sky.

"Those are Patamons...," Kazu said.

"Meh, close enough," Marcus shrugged.

"Can I change my vote to Davis? If it weren't for his horny ass, then we could have won," Matt said.

"Sorry, but you can't change your votes once they've been submitted...," Gennai smirked. "How many times do I have to repeat that?"

"You only told us once," Izzy said.

"Even though you guys can't vote Davis out, I think you'll be happy to hear that...Kenta's going home!" Gennai announced.

"What?" Kenta whimpered.

"If you think that's bad, then you'll be glad to hear that Kazu was the swing vote," Gennai laughed.

"You voted against me?" Kenta hiccuped.

"Yeah...," Kazu rubbed his neck.

"Why?" Kenta sniffled.

"Because I was thinking no one would find out...I thought these votes were confidential," Kazu sheepishly said.

"Don't you know by know? You can't trust that anything will be kept a secret on this show," Gennai cracked up. "Now say goodbye to your best friend, cause you're headed to the Loser Cruiser!"

"I don't have a best friend," Kenta walked away.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"I can't believe he screwed me over like that," Kenta frowned.

"That's what she said."

"Koji? Why are you holding the camera?" Kenta asked.

"The cameraman said he'd get me a Big Mac if I just held the camera for a couple of minutes," Koji said.

"Oh," Kenta said.

"Yeah, so you can go back to crying now," Koji said.

"Okay," Kenta nodded. "I thought he was my friend! We sang in the bath together for crying out loud!"_  
_

"What?!" Koji shrieked.

"We were in the digital world! And it was a windy so we had nowhere to go," Kenta said. "Ask Rika!"

"Whoa, you Tamer kids are weirder than I thought. You just made the Adventure guys look normal," Koji said.

"Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think Rika knows about that," Kenta tapped his chin.

"Camera dude? Where are you?" Koji yelled.


	21. File Island's Got (No) Talent!

**Lily's Contribution Corner: This episode was a collaborative sponsorship between: xD, owner of xD's StickerCam Booth and (The place where your face can become stickers!); pokemonfan1991, owner of 1991 Poke&Fan Surf Shop (Where you can never run out of souped-up male lifeguards and girls in bikinis!); and Snapple, the best stuff on Earth!**

* * *

**Recap: **As Kick-Ass dwindles down in number, they don't have much of a chance to defeat the much bigger BAMFs. They head back to everyone else, minus Koji, dreading the news that they will have to do another challenge soon. A mix of flag football and capture the flag, the teams must run around in the dark, attacking each other and trying to take the enemy's flag back to their own territory. Kick-Ass seems to have some difficulties coming up with a battle plan, considering that they have a mini civil war on their hands. On the other hand, the BAMFs have a set game plan with the help of Davis's little playbook. When the game starts, the BAMFs already took down half of Kick-Ass, but it doesn't matter considering the fact that on the other side of the border, Rika captured the MVPs in a matter of seconds. Kazu and Izzy infiltrate on Kick-Ass territory in an attempt to free their MVPs, leaving Kenta to guide the jail by himself. Zoe and Kari use their smarts to trick the BAMFs, and they made it across the line, BAMF flag in tow. The BAMFs are not happy about being sent to the Campfire Ceremonies, but it gives them the perfect opportunity to do what they wanted to do for a while. Kazu and Kenta end up on the bottom two, but Kenta gets sent home. Bye bye Chumley!

* * *

**File Island's Got (No) Talent**

"That was just low," Davis shook his head.

"Please stop looking at Kari," Matt smacked Davis upside his head.

"I wasn't talking about that, but her shirt is low," Davis turned his head to sneak a peek at Kari.

_*THWACK*_

"Oww! What the hell, man?" Matt rubbed the back of his head.

"Look what you did," Marcus tilted his chin at a googly-eyed Davis. "Hey! What were you gonna...oh brother," Marcus stomped over to Davis and twisted his head so that Davis faced away from Kari. "Hey buddy! What were you saying before Matt interrupted you?"

"Oh, I was just saying that it was pretty low of Kazu to vote Kenta off," Davis said. "Sure, those guys are annoying, but who votes off their best friend?"

"Oh...I see you guys are talking about me," Kazu sheepishly walked toward the boys.

"Pretty much," Marcus nodded.

"You guys are so emotional!" Kazu put his arms behind his back and casually strolled around the boys. "You say that now, but anything can happen at this point."

"Yeah, but even then...I don't think I would vote out my best friend," Davis made a face.

"It's dog eat dog. You look down on me, but just watch. You're gonna end up doing the same thing to each other," Kazu said. "See you chumleys later! I'm gonna find some cool people to hang out with."

"Good luck with that," Marcus smirked.

"Heh heh," Matt and Davis halfheartedly laughed.

"Heh heh," Marcus let out an awkward laugh.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I think Kazu might be right. Only one person's gonna win. I just hope that I can win, without stabbing my friends in the back. I don't think it'll be possible though. Competition changes people," Matt fiddled with his guitar pick.

* * *

"Congratulations! Give yourselves a pat on the back, because you are all on the Top Ten!" Gennai boomed. "It's not everyday that people can be in the Top Ten. Consider yourselves lucky, because so far, only ten people have made it past this point."

"I would think so, if we're the last 10 people...," Matt said.

"And to celebrate this milestone-" Gennai said.

"We're gonna shake things up a little!" Lily jumped out from behind a tree. She wore a cutesy polo, a plaid miniskirt, with a matching sash and beret.

"I don't get it. Are we going to sell Girl Scout cookies?" Tai asked.

"Because there is no other excuse for wearing that outfit," Mimi said.

"Look girl! At least my outfit doesn't clash with my outfit!" Lily snapped.

"Ha hah! That's what I said!" Kazu laughed. "High five!"

"No," Lily said.

"Aww, why do you leave me hanging?" Kazu pouted.

"Since there are only ten of you guys left, the teams are officially disbanded. From this point on, it's each man for himself," Lily said. "And to symbolize that, you guys will create your own badges. Each of them has to be different colors, with different icons in them. Just think of them as your own little logos!"

"I made my badge already!" Kari handed Lily a piece of paper. A pink circle with a kitty was scribbled on the paper.

"Okay, since Kari's badge is a pink kitty, no one else can have a pink badge or a badge with a cat on it," Lily held up the piece of paper.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"She did this to me again! Pink is MY favorite color, so why does she have to get pink? She gets the pink crest, the pink digivice, and now a pink badge? I guess green is an okay color. It does go better with my complexion, but pink is still my favorite color! Life is sooo not fair!" Mimi crossed her arms.

* * *

"So did everyone else finish their badges yet?" Lily hovered over the contestants.

"Here's mine!" Marcus held up a red badge with a boxing glove on it.

"Mines is wayyy better," Tai held up an orange badge with fire flames on it.

"Badass, but not as badass as this!" Matt's badge was blue and had a wolf on it.

"Please! Mines is way cooler!" Davis had a gold badge with a rocket ship on it.

"This is my badge," Mimi showed everyone a green badge with a lily on it.

"And that one is officially my favorite badge!" Lily took Mimi's badge. "It's in my favorite color, and come on! It's got a lily on it, and I'm a Lily!"

"Someone's a brown-noser," Kari shrugged.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I take back what I said! Kari can keep her stupid pink cat, cause I have the better badge! Even Lily thinks so!" Mimi stuck out her tongue.

* * *

"Mines has to the best one out of all of you!" Kazu held up a copper-colored badge with a robot on it.

"I still think Mimi's is the best," Lily said.

"Hey! Look at those guys! They all have purple badges!" Davis pointed to Izzy, Rika, and Zoe.

"And Rika copied my badge!" Matt yelled.

"What?" Lily looked at the remaining badges.

"This is a fox, dingbat!" Rika growled.

"And for your information, her badge is totally periwinkle and my badge is lavender, so that makes them different colors!" Zoe scoffed. Her lavender badge had a butterfly on it.

"I'm not here to argue the fifty shades of purple. My badge is purple, end of story," Izzy held up a dark purple badge with a lightning bolt on it.

"Oooh, original one Iz," Tai sneered.

"What? You have a freaking fire flame on yours! If you ask me, yours is just as original," Marcus raised an eyebrow at Tai.

"Who asked you?" Tai scoffed.

"Uh...," Marcus paused. "Nobody really asked me. But your badge is just as boring as Izzy's."

"Why did we have to make our own badges anyway?" Matt asked Lily.

"Just think of them as your mini logos. It's like having the team colors, but this time each person gets their own symbol," Lily said.

"And what better way to start using them than to hold a talent show?" Gennai exclaimed.

"A talent show?" Kazu gulped.

"Yeah. Is someone scared because they don't have any talent?" Davis teased.

"Hah! Just for your information, I'm the most talented out of all of you guys!" Kazu jeered.

"We'll see," Gennai snorted. "You kids have until sundown to decide on and practice your talent. After that, you guys will meet up at the wooden stage over there, where you will have to perform in front of a couple of judges and your peers! How fun is that?" Gennai squealed.

"Can I do a strip dance?" Tai asked.

"Why?" Gennai grimaced.

"Because I hate wearing clothes," Tai said.

"Look! You can do anything, as long as I don't have to end up switching this show to another network along the lines of Shotime or HBO. So no stripping," Lily shook her head in disgust.

"Bummer," Davis muttered.

* * *

_Dress Rehearsal..._

"Tai, what's your talent? Beer pong?" Marcus smirked. Tai was standing in front of a tennis table. There were a lot of wine glasses scattered around the table, and each glass had a different amount of water inside.

"No!" Tai scoffed. "Look at this," he swirled his finger around random glass rims.

_*Riiing ring riiiiing riing*_

"So...you're making squeaky music by rubbing your fingers against glass?" Marcus crossed his arms.

"You're just jealous cause my talent is kick ass!" Tai continued to play his musical glasses.

"I'm not threatened by you. I'm just saying you should pick a different talent. A lot of people are doing music," Marcus put his hands on his hips. Matt was strumming at his guitar, Mimi was setting up a karaoke machine, and Kazu was talking through a microphone. "There's not a chance that any of us are going to win if we're all singing and dancing as if we were Justin Beiber."

"Shut up! You don't even know what you're talking about!" Tai flipped his table over. "Oh no! My music!" he fell on his knees and picked up one of his glasses. "All destroyed!"

"Hey, what's your talent?" Kazu poked Marcus in the bicep.

"You'll find out later," Marcus walked away.

"So what are you going to do?" Kazu turned to Tai.

"I was going to play my wine glasses, but Marcus shot that horse in the ass," Tai stared at the shards of glass. "I hate Marcus."

* * *

"So why are you sitting around? Can't think of something you're good at?" Kari hovered over Zoe.

"Actually, I'm having a hard time deciding which talent I should perform. I am a well-rounded person," Zoe casually blew on her nails.

"I don't know if being a bitch, being a liar, or if being the only ugly blonde in the world counts," Kari shrugged and skipped off.

"Maybe I should do my archery routine," Zoe angrily squinted her eyes.

* * *

"_I, I love you like a love song baby! I, I love you like a love song babyyyyy_!" Mimi sang.

"Oh...my head hurts!" Davis groaned.

"Mine too," Rika tucked her head into her knees.

"But you're wearing a helmet. Why does your head hurt?" Mimi stopped singing.

"Mimi, why don't you take a break from your vocal exercises? You don't want to strain your voice before the concert," Matt said gently.

"Yeah, you're totally right! I'm gonna take a lemonade break! Bye guys!" she dashed away.

"Thank you Matt!" Rika sighed.

"Yes, thank you!" Davis gasped.

"No problem," Matt nodded.

_*BOOM*_

"Whoa, what was that?" Davis stared at a cloud of smoke.

"That was probably Mimi trying to make some lemonade," Rika shook her head.

* * *

_Showtime..._

"Hi fellow viewers! Thank you for attending the first annual File Island's Got Talent show!" Lily spoke to the camera.

"More like File Island's Got No Talent," Gennai muttered into Lily's microphone.

"Shut up! We all know these guys are untalented. Now stop interrupting me!" Lily elbowed him. "Sorry for the minor...mistake," she pushed Gennai's face out of the camera's view. "Anyways, get ready for tonight because we've got ten contestants who are going to perform their best talents in front of our famous judges! Give a round of applause for ShogunGekomon!" Lily gestured to ShogunGekomon, who was seated at a judges table. He was happily sipping away at a Snapple.

_*Yayyyyy!*_ an audio recording of a cheering audience played.

"Here's Gennai!" Lily pointed to Gennai, who was sitting next to ShogunGekomon.

_*BOOOOO!*_ an audio recording of a booing crowd played.

"That's not very nice!" Gennai pouted.

"Shut up, no one cares!" Lily brushed Gennai off. "And the best judge of them all...say hello to Lily!" she made a pose for the camera.

_*WOOT WOOT!*_

"Why thank you! Stop it, you're making me blush!" Lily let out a dramatic laugh. "So here's how the contest works! The contestants will perform their talents, and the judges will either give them the green light, or the red light. If all judges give you a green light, that means...well, that they like you. If all three judges give you a red light, just stop what you're doing because it's unbearable to watch. Just keep doing your talent until all judges turn their lights on. Each audience member will get a magnetic board," Lily held up a white board with 10 magnets on them. "There are ten magnets on the board, each magnet having the picture of your badge on it, and there are ten rows on the board. Put the magnet that looks like your badge on the top row of the board. Throughout the show, organize the other magnets in order of which contestant you liked better. For example, let's say Tai was the first performer, and then Kazu was next. If you liked Kazu's performance more than Tai's-"

"HEY! That's not going to happen!" Tai snapped.

"You never know," Matt smirked.

"Shut up!" Tai shoved Matt.

"No, you shut up!" Matt pushed Tai.

"No, both of you shut up! I'm still talking here!" Lily yelled. "Like I said, if Kazu did a better job than Tai did, then you stick Kazu's magnet above Tai's. Then if Izzy was next, and you like his performance better than Tai's but less than Kazu's, then you stick his magnet in between the other magnets. So what you guys are basically doing are organizing the magnets from the best contestant to the worst contestant. That way no one can give others low scores in order to increase their chances of winning. At the end of the show, we're going to tally up the votes and rank who's first, second, third, and last place. The first place winner will get to sleep in their own luxury caravan, second place gets a $200 cash prize, and third place gets a $25 gift certificate to Snapple!"

"What happens to last place?" Davis asked.

"What do you think happens? They're getting the boot!" Lily jerked her thumb back.

"So we don't get to vote someone off?" Tai asked.

"In a way, you guys are eliminating someone. You guys do get to vote who you hate the worst," Gennai asked.

"But that's not the same thing as plotting against each other and ganging up against someone," Kari whined.

"..." everyone stared at her.

"So...who wants to go first?" Gennai asked.

"I dooooo!" Davis raised his hand.

"Then go on stage," Lily tilted her chin toward the stage.

"So, for my performance...," Davis pulled out a can of hairspray and sprayed his hair.

"Please tell me there is more to this besides watching you do your hair," Rika scoffed.

"Yes, please do...," ShogunGekomon grunted.

"Chill dude! I was going to do this...," Davis flipped himself upside down and stood up on his hair. "Tada!"

"Whoa...," everyone said.

"Tai, since Davis stole your talent, what are you going to do now?" Matt snickered.

"Shut up," Tai punched Matt in the rib.

"I can stand on my hair while cooking at the same tiime!" As soon as Davis said that, he pulled some knives out of his hair and began juggling them. "Hiyah!" he kicked the knives and they landed onto a hibachi table. Davis walked with his hands over to the table and began kicking the knives, using the knives to slice up a chunk of meat.

_*YAAAAY*_ Gennai turned his green light on.

Davis used his feet to boil a pot of noodles, and tended back to the meat again.

"That is such skill," Gennai gasped as he watched Davis cook upside down.

_*YAAAAY*_ "That food smells soooo good," Lily grinned. "What do you thing, ShogunGekomon?"

"Hmph," he grunted.

"That's okay. I don't really care if you like me or not. Gennai and Lily think I'm good," Davis said as he juggled the knives with his feet. He checked on the meat and scooped it up with one hand. He grabbed the pot of noodles with his feet and poured them into several bowls. "I've been working on this recipe for years now, but this was the first time I've done it upside down. Tell me what you guys think," he picked up each bowl with his feet and threw them at everyone.

"This is heaven," Tai talked through a mouthful of noodles.

"Delish," Mimi gushed.

"God, this is amazing!" Gennai yelled.

"ShogunGekomon?" Lily looked over at him.

"Hmmm," ShogunGekomon paused. After several minutes, he reluctantly pressed the green button.

"Woot woot! I'm a boss!" Davis cartwheeled off the stage.

"NEXT!" Lily yelled.

"Might as well get this over with...," Tai sighed. He walked over to the stage with a soccer ball in his arms.

"Tai. Playing soccer isn't really a talent...especially if you're playing with yourself," Matt heckled.

"Shut your face!" Tai yelled. "Check it!" he bumped the soccer ball with his knees. "Hit me!" he said and an intern threw another soccer ball at Tai. Tai balanced that on his head, while still kicking the other soccer ball with his knees. "Bring on the heat!" As soon as he said that, a bunch of soccer balls flew in his direction, but Tai caught them all, and balanced them. He had several soccer balls spinning on his head, shoulders, elbows, all while standing on a soccer ball.

_*YAAAAAY!*_ Gennai, ShogunGekomon, and Lily turned on their green lights at the same time.

"That was beautiful! So beautiful!" Gennai croaked.

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Tai bowed to the crowd.

"Who's next?" Lily called out on the stage.

"I'll go!" Kazu adjusted his oversized bow tie and walked to the stage. "Okay, so my routine is going to be a comedic act. Just think of Seinfeld, only cooler, younger, and a hell of a lot sexier!" he winked at the crowd.

_*cricket cricket*_

"I thought it was funny...," Kazu frowned. "But it's not as funny as Marcus's hair!"

"How is my hair funny?!" Marcus growled.

"It looks like a little girl hairstyle! It looks almost like Jeri's but her ponytail is to the side," Kazu laughed.

_*cricket cricket*_

_*BOOOO!*_ ShogunGekomon clicked the red light on.

"Okay, tough crowd," Kazu tugged at the collar of his shirt. "Uh..."

_*BOOOO!*_ Lily pressed the red light.

"Yeah...you just suck," Gennai shook his head and turned on his red light.

"Stay on the stage!" Marcus yelled.

"Why?" Lily made a face.

"Because I'm going to use him to help me with my talent," Marcus stomped over to the stage and grabbed Kazu by the arm.

"Go ahead," Lily shrugged.

"For my first trick...I'm going to show you how strong I am by spinning this dork around like a huge pizza pie," Marcus flung Kazu up in the air.

"Whoooooaaaa!" Kazu yelled as he was thrown into the sky.

"If that wasn't cool enough...," Marcus waited until Kazu was a couple of feet from the floor, and kicked him.

"AHHHHHH!" Kazu screamed and crashed down on the side of the stage.

_*YAAAAAY*_ ShogunGekomon nodded in approval.

"Wanna know what else I can do?" Marcus went up to the judges table and lifted it up from the ground.

_*YAAAAAY*_ Lily clapped her hands.

"That's not all!" Marcus put the judges table down and picked up the audience bleachers.

_*YAAAAAY*_ Gennai pumped his fist in the air. "Love it!"

"I don't," Kazu groaned.

"My turn!" Kari hopped on to the stage. She started to take her shirt and pants off, and stood around in a bikini.

"Ooooh, so that's your talent? Prancing around in a bikini?" Zoe crossed her arms.

"Seems like a good talent to me," Davis grinned.

"Hey! That's my sister you're talking about!" Tai smacked Davis in the back of his head.

"What does it matter? I'm pretty sure other people have been saying worse," Rika scoffed.

"Maybe you should ask John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt," Mimi turned her nose up in the air.

"It's John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schmidt," Matt corrected.

"HEY!" Tai yelled.

"Kari, just get off the stage," Lily shook her head. "Making people argue about you isn't a talent."

"But I was gonna twirl fire batons," Kari lit up two sparkly batons. "See?" she threw the batons in the air. She watched as they flew up but her eyes grew big as they started to fall down. "AHHH!" she dodged to the side and the batons crashed to the floor.

"Interns!" Lily yelled.

"Right away," a couple of interns rushed over with a fire extingusher.

"I think you've started enough fires and I'm not just talking about your talent," Lily pointed to the contestants, who were all beating each other up. "Just put your clothes back on and sit down."

"Okay," Kari picked up her clothes and batons and walked back to the audience.

"I'll go up next," Zoe volunteered herself and hopped on stage. She was wearing a green skirted leotard with gold trim on it, and her hair was tied up in a high ponytail.

"Oh, so your talent is being one of Santa's elves?" Kari nodded her head.

"I would throw a shoe at you, but I need it for my dance!" Zoe said. "Hit it, intern!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"It's already enough that I have to do what Lily and Gennai tell me to do, but when contestants boss me around, I know I hit an all-time low," the intern groaned. "Mom, you were right. I should have studied criminology instead of being an art major."

* * *

Riverdance began to play and Zoe frantically clicked her shoes up and down on the floor, all while keeping her upper body stiff.

_*YAAAAY!*_ Lily turned on the green light.

"How does she do that? Her feet are all over the place but Zoe stays still on top!" Kazu gasped.

"It's a little magic I'd like to call Irish Step Dancing," Lily smiled. "Go Zoe!"

_*YAAAAY!*_ Gennai pushed on the green light. "That has to be the coolest thing I've ever seen! What do you think, Shogun?" he nudged the oversized digimon.

"Hmmm," ShogunGekomon grunted.

"I could keep this up for hours," Zoe said and began dancing faster and faster. As soon as she said that, various vegetables were flung onto the stage. "Hey, who's throwing fresh produce at me?!" Zoe swept to the side, dodging a tomato just in time. She didn't lose her footing, despite getting a pumpkin, a watermelon, and a toaster oven thrown in her direction.

_*YAAAAY!*_ ShogunGekomon pressed the green light.

"Thank you, thank you very much!" Zoe wheezed before she say back down with her peers.

"If you want some more magic, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," Izzy came up on the stage wearing a top hat and magician cape.

"You're a trick!" Kazu cracked up.

_*BOOOO!*_

"I didn't even do anything yet!" Izzy spazzed.

"That wasn't for you. It was for the dorkface in the visor," ShogunGekomon said.

"Where?" Kazu looked around.

"He was talking about you," Matt smirked.

"Does anyone have a dollar bill? Higher denominations are heavily preferred," Izzy said.

"So you're gonna make money disappear? Mimi could do that in two seconds," Matt smirked.

"Actually, my record is 10.7 minutes. Looking for the good sales takes up the most time," Mimi said.

"Oh my god," Matt rubbed his temples.

"Here's a fifty," Lily handed Izzy a $50 bill.

"What a coincidence! I have a fifty," Gennai stuck his hand in his robe. "I had a fifty," he glared at Lily.

"Shush! He's gonna do magic tricks," Lily bumped her elbow into Gennai's gut.

"For this trick, I'm going to light this dollar bill on fire," Izzy dipped the money into a clear solution. He shook the wet dollar a little, and took a lighter to it. "You see, the dollar is on fire, but it's not actually burning."

_*YAAAAY*_ Both Lily and Gennai pressed the green lights at the same time. ShogunGekomon looked unimpressed.

"Whoa..." everyone gasped.

"You might think this is real magic, but in fact, it's chemistry. You see, I dipped this bill into a water-alcohol solu-"

"We don't care how it works! Just do another trick!" Marcus yelled.

"I figured you would say something like that," Izzy flatly said. He shook the dollar until all of the flames died out. "Let's move on to something else. Can someone turn off all the lights?"

"What are you all looking at me for?" an intern said. "Fine...but I expect a raise."

"Whoooaaaa!" everyone stared in the dark. A bunch of neon bubbles were floating everywhere. "That is sooo cool."

"Hmmm," ShogunGekomon grunted.

"Pop..pop...poppoppop!" Kazu popped the bubbles.

"You can turn the lights back on," Izzy sighed. "I like to call this last trick the traveling flame...," he lit up one candle and blew the flame out.

"Oooh, impressive...," Rika rolled her eyes.

"It is, isn't it?" Izzy smirked. "Look next to you."

"What the hell?!" Rika jumped. To the right of her, was another candle, which was lit up.

"Do it again!" Davis clapped his hands.

"Okay," Izzy snapped his fingers and a flaming candle appeared next to ShogunGekomon.

"Whoa!" Gennai gasped in awe.

"How do you like that trick?" Lily poked ShogunGekomon with a pencil.

"Hmph...," ShogunGekomon rolled his eyes and turned on his red light.

"Wow. That fat lard of a Digimon seems hard to impress, doesn't he?" Tai muttered.

"You have no idea. He wouldn't even judge until we told him he could drink as many Snapples as he wants," Lily pointed to a giant pyramid of empty Snapple bottles.

"Hey guys," Matt waved to everyone. He was sitting on a stool, with an acoustic guitar strapped onto him, a keyboard piano in front of him, and a harmonica holder on him.

"Hey Matt," everyone groaned.

"This is gonna suck...," Marcus whispered to Tai.

"I know. God, I hate his music," Tai whispered back.

"I was going to play one of my new songs tonight," Matt said. "But I think I'll just save that for my solo CD."

"Thank god," Marcus and Tai sighed in relief.

"So instead of playing my songs, I'm going to do a cover of one of my favorite songs...one, two, three," he started to play his harmonica and piano at the same time. "_It's 9 o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in, there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin_," Matt sang.

"Wow, he's good," Marcus whispered to Tai.

"I know, I'm pretty shocked," Tai gasped.

_*YAAAAY*_ ShogunGekomon wiped some tears out of his eyes.

"Is that the first time I've seen that guy actually like something first?" Rika muttered.

_*YAAAAY*_ Gennai and Lily turned on their green lights on.

"_Sing us a song on the piano man, sing us a song tonight, while we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling alright...,_" Matt finished his song with a guitar and harmonica interlude.

"YEAAAAHHHHH!" everyone clapped and cheered.

"That was pure beauty!" ShogunGekomon cried.

"Uh, thank you?" Matt blushed and walked off stage.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Kari!" Tai yelled.

"What are you looking at me for? I didn't say it," Kari protested.

"It was me!"

"Yolei?!" everyone gasped.

"What are you doing here?" Izzy asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Well, see you guys later!"

"..." everyone stared at each other.

"That was creepy," Gennai shuddered.

"Who wants to go next? It's between Mimi and Rika," Lily looked at the girls.

"I'll go last!" Mimi giggled.

"Whatever," Rika rolled her eyes and strapped a blue helmet onto her head. "Let's rock this bitch." She stomped over to the stage, with a skateboard in the crook of her arm. She pressed a button on the side of the stage and a half-pipe popped out of the floor. She skated across the half-pipe for a while and then she flipped up in the air.

"Wow, normal stuff I could see in the skate part," Kazu scoffed.

"Shut your face!" Rika yelled from the stage. "I didn't even get to the good part yet!" she skated fast against the half-pipe and flew up in the air. She did a couple of aerials, nollies, and some grinds.

_*YAAAAY*_ "Wow, she's like all over the stage!" Gennai gasped.

"Hmph," ShogunGekomon sipped at his Snapple.

_*YAAAAY*_ Lily pressed her green light. "How could you not like this? She's like defying gravity!" Lily watched as Rika performed an aerial over the judges table, and skated on the audience bleachers and back to the stage.

_*BOOOO!*_ ShogunGekomon pressed the red light. Rika paused, picked up her skateboard, and calmly walked over to the judges table. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT TALENT ANYWAYS?!" she threw her skateboard at the fatass digimon and stomped back to the bleachers.

_*YAAAAY*_

"Gennai, your green light's already on...," Davis said.

"I know. I just thought Rika deserved another green light," Gennai snickered. "Hopefully we've saved the best for last. You're up, Meems!"

"I'm ready!" she dashed onto the stage with her karaoke machine. Music began to start playing and Mimi bobbed her head to the beat. "_It's been saaaaaid and done, every beauuuutiful thought's been already suuuuung, and I guess right now here's another ooooone, so your melodyyyyy will play on and on!_" she screeched off-key.

"Owww! I never thought this song could get even worse," Kari covered her ears.

"Tell me about it!" Matt cringed.

_*BOOOO!*_ ShogunGekomon angrily broke his red light. "YOU!"

"Me?" Mimi pointed to herself.

"Yes you! You were the little brat that woke me up from my sleep!" ShogunGekomon growled.

"I thought you got over that already?" Mimi nervously laughed.

"Forget that awful voice of yours?!" ShogunGekomon yelled.

"My voice isn't that bad!" Mimi whined.

"Yes, it is...," Gennai wore earmuffs.

"Guys?" Mimi looked to everyone else for approval, but they all avoided her gaze. "Fine! You guys all have bad taste in music anyways!"

"GAAAHHHHH!" ShogunGekomon stomped over to the stage and punched the stage floor in.

"AAAAHHHH!" Mimi shrieked and cowered.

"Mimi!" Izzy ran over to the stage.

"Step aside," Marcus pushed him out of the way and grabbed Mimi before the stage crumbled down.

"I KEEEL YOU! I KEEL ALL YOU!" ShogunGekomon jumped on the stage, making all of the rubble shoot out everywhere.

"Interns?" Lily hid under the judges table.

"All of the interns left, but I'll save the day!"

"Benjamin?" everyone gasped.

"The one and only," Benjamin winked. "I've taken a couple of archery lessons from a master, so I think I've improved a bit!"

"STOP TALKING AND START SHOOTING!" Gennai cried.

"Okay," Benjamin pulled out a tranquilizer and shot it at ShogunGekomon.

"Hey! Who pinched me?!" ShogunGekomon growled.

"I did, bitch!" Benjamin smirked and shot another tranquilizer at him.

"You think you can call me a bitch and get away with it?" ShogunGekomon boomed.

"No...but how bout I call you a fat bitch?" Benjamin shot a bunch of tranquilizers at him.

"You're...gonna...," ShogunGekomon panted, and fell face first onto the ground.

"Wow, that was a close call!" Gennai wiped his forehead.

"Tell me about it," Lily peeked out from the judges table.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"So this little Campfire Ceremony is going to be a little different than we're used to. Instead of giving marshmallows to the lucky people who get to stay, we're gonna give out boxes of Girl Scout cookies!" Lily shook a box of cookies in the air.

"Where did you guys get the cookies from?" Matt asked.

"It fell off a truck...," Gennai looked aloof.

"So give a round of applause to Matt! He scored first place in our talent competition!" Lily pulled Matt's arm up, like a referee does to a winning boxer.

"Good one!" Tai nodded in approval.

"And since he placed first...," Lily said. "He is the proud owner of his own luxury RV! It has its own bedroom, big bathroom, and a sitting area, complete with a flatscreen LCD TV and a kitchenette!"

"Boooo!" Tai booed.

"What? You were just happy for me a second ago!" Matt yelled.

"That was until you got your own trailer, pretty boy!" Tai grumbled.

"Sit your ass down boy!" Gennai shook a finger at Tai.

"Okay...," Tai pouted.

"Second place goes to Davis! Those noodles were soooo good!" Lily clapped her hands. "Here's your $200 cash prize. Don't spend it all in one place," Lily handed Davis a slim envelope.

"More like don't spend it all on one person," Zoe snorted.

"And third place...it was a hard decision. For the most part, all of you guys did a good job, but Izzy is the proud owner of a $25 Snapple gift certificate!" Lily gave Izzy a gift card.

"Thanks," Izzy shrugged.

"Now you can drink $25 worth of Snapple...for free!" Gennai winked.

"Most of you guys are safe from the competition," Lily walked in a circle, handing several contestants a box of cookies. "But of course, there's always somebody in the bottom two..."

"And the two people who sucked the most are...surprisingly not Kazu?" Gennai read his cue card.

"What?" everyone gasped.

"Kari, Mimi...you guys did horrible. It's pretty bad when Kazu has more talent than you. You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. If you ask me, both of you shouldn't stay in the competition," Gennai laughed. "But the lucky loser that gets to stay is...Kari! Mimi, hand in your badge."

"What?" Zoe and Mimi straightened up.

"Why?" Mimi began to cry.

"Well, we don't want to risk having our eardrums getting blown out by your horrible singing," Gennai shrugged.

"My singing is not that bad!" Mimi stomped her foot.

"You make Justin Beiber sound like Celine Dion...," Matt winced.

"You made Celine Dion sound like Celine Dion," Kazu grimaced.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Marcus snapped.

"Wait! Before I leave...," Mimi walked up to Izzy and pulled him close. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you too," Izzy held her in his arms. "I..."

Everyone leaned over to hear Izzy better.

"I love you," he turned red.

"Awww," Davis gushed. "Isn't that so romantic?"

"You fruit," Rika muttered.

"You are a fruit," Kari nodded.

"What?" Davis looked at Kari.

"You're a fruit because you're sooo sweet and mushy!" Kari quickly said.

"Awww," Davis cooed.

"I love you too," Mimi moved her head close to Izzy's.

"Okay, time to go now!" Gennai yanked Mimi back before she had a chance to kiss Izzy.

"What?" Mimi whimpered.

"Oh no...it might be me, but it seems like every time someone kisses during a Campfire Ceremony, it always goes wrong," Gennai said.

"I never realized that, but it is true," Lily chewed on a cookie. "Can I have your badge now?"

"Fine...," Mimi sniffled, handed her badge to Lily, and walked off into the darkness.

"Yay! I get to wear my favorite badge!" Lily squealed and pinned Mimi's badge onto her shirt.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"I'm sooo sad! How did Kazu do better than me? And I hate Kari again. She took my favorite color, and now she took the only spot left in the competition! At least I didn't set the stage on fire!" Mimi frowned.

"But you did get ShogunGekomon to smash the stage into pieces...," Koji said.

"Koji? Why are you holding the camera?" Mimi tilted her head in confusion.

"Because I was promised a Big Mac...which I still haven't gotten. I'm getting tired of holding this camera," Koji grumbled.

"And I'm getting tired of Kari!" Mimi cried. "Why does she take all of the things I want? What if she takes Izzy too?"

"Honestly, did you think you would last long? Or win?" Koji scoffed.

"Duh! That's why I entered into the competition in the first place," Mimi crossed her arms.

"I was talking about you and Izzy," Koji smirked.

"You jerk!" Mimi smacked Koji in the face.

_*Static*_

_Please hang on...we're experiencing some technical difficulties! We'll be back on as soon as Koji's face doesn't hurt anymore...now please enjoy this crappy muzak._


	22. File Island Tell-All Special! (Part 1)

**A File Island Special: Tell All Edition (Part One)**

**[Previously Recorded]**

"Hey everyone, Lily here! As the competition becomes closer to the end, I've decided to do something fun! I bet you all miss our old contestants, so we decided to reunite the losers with the remaining players for a special tell-all interview! Awesome, right?" Lily smiled at the camera.

"She's only doing this because we're going to be on challenge hiatus for a while. Someone just decided to be spontaneous throughout the whole season, and now she's in deep sh-"

"Shut up!" Lily took her microphone and bashed it on Gennai's head.

"Heeeey! You should learn to respect your elders! Just because I look like a young, sexy stud doesn't mean you can beat me up!" Gennai rubbed his head.

"Please. You're older than God, and you look it too," Lily rolled her eyes.

"That's so mean," Gennai whimpered.

"So where were we?" Lily asked.

"Oh, we were just talking about how you never plan anything ahead of time, so you decided to give our readers unnecessary filler," Gennai casually said.

"This isn't unnecessary filler!" Lily yelled. "Is this filler?" she dragged a big, burlap sack to the middle of the stage.

"Looks pretty fillery to me," Takuya looked at the overstuffed bag.

"Is that the bag that Santa uses to carry presents in?" Tommy asked.

"Ooooh! We're getting presents?" Mimi squealed.

"No!" Lily yelled. "This isn't Santa's bag!"

"Then why does the bag say 'Property of Santa' on it?" Takato looked confused.

"Uh...," Lily paused.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself, you old-person hater?" Gennai flashed Lily an evil smile.

"First of all, I don't hate all old people. I just hate you. Second of all...uh...yeah! This isn't Santa's bag, it's my bag! It used to say Santana on it, but I guess some of the letters rubbed off. Yeah, that's what happened!" Lily forced a smile.

"So you're saying Santana is your last name?" Thomas eyed Lily suspiciously.

"Lily Santana...that just doesn't sound right," Henry pensively rubbed his chin.

"What are you saying? I bet there are a lot of Lily Santana's in the world!" Lily crossed her arms.

"Yeah, but only several with red hair, and you're not one of them," Izzy said.

"Yes I am!" Lily said unconvincingly.

"No you're not. I've cross-referenced the Facebook listings with the ones on MySpace, Tumblr, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, Google Plus, Pintrest, Twitter, and the J. Crew mailing list, and you're not on any of the Lily Santana's listed," Izzy tapped away at his laptop. "I did find something interesting though."

"I like interesting things! What did you find?" Gennai bounced up and down in place.

"Lily's real last name is-"

"Shut up!" Lily put her hand over Izzy's mouth.

"Is your last name really embarrassing?" JP asked.

"Your weight is embarrassing," Gennai blurted.

"I'm not fat! I'm just heavyset!" JP said.

"What are you going to say now? That you're big-boned too?" Gennai scoffed. "Just admit it, you're fat! It only takes two words. Repeat after me. I'm...,"

"We don't have time for that! We've got a lot of letters from our beloved audience that we have to get through!" Lily shook the Santana bag out and a mountain of envelopes fell out.

"Are we going to read all of that?" Gennai gasped.

"We?" Lily gave Gennai a strange look. "_I'm_ going to act like a real executive producer and hang by the snack table like I'm supposed to, while _you_ read the fan mail."

"I'm pretty sure executive producers do other stuff besides eating snacks the whole time," Matt said.

"You have no idea how wrong you are," Lily said. "I go the extra mile! Not only do I hang out by the snack table, I also boss people around! If that doesn't make an exceptional executive producer, then I don't know what does! But for now, I'm going to walk the extra mile around the studio to get to the snack table! Have fun!"

"Lily! Wait! Gahhhh!" Gennai called out, but Lily was already gone. "Great, now I'm stuck with you kids. So what should we do to kill the time?" Gennai huffed.

"How about we start reading some mail?" Ken suggested.

"Sure," Gennai grabbed an envelope from the Santana bag and read it. "Okay, so here's our first piece of mail!"

* * *

_Dear Cody,_

_Why are you secretly Jewish?_

_-Anna from Saskatchewan, Canada_

* * *

"I'm not secretly Jewish," Cody pressed his lips together. "I've never hid my religious faith from anyone. I shouldn't have to wear a yarmulke, prayer shawl, or Tzitzit strings to prove I'm Jewish, and it's disappointing when people think I should."

"We're sorry for missing your bar mitzvah! How many times do we have to apologize for that?" Yolei yelled.

"Yeah! I couldn't come anyways because of my exams...oh, and when my mom read the invitation, she told me I was too young to go to any bar party," Joe said.

"Typical Joe," Matt said under his breath.

"I couldn't read the invitation. I can't read Digicode," Davis said.

"It's not Digicode, it's Hebrew," Cody sighed. "Maybe I'm glad you guys didn't show up..."

"Alright, let's move on to the next question!" Gennai said.

* * *

_Dear Tai,_

_I have nothing to say to you. You're just a moron for falling for Marcus's taunting._

_-Tyler from Ocala, Florida_

* * *

"Come on! When have I ever teased him?" Marcus said.

"You do it all the time," Matt said.

"If it bothered you so much, then why didn't you say anything?" Marcus growled.

"Because it doesn't bother me. I like making fun of Tai too," Matt said.

"That's why we get along so well!" Marcus bumped fists with Matt.

"You guys suck," Tai frowned.

"No, you're just jealous because you're so easy to make fun of," Marcus laughed.

"You're just as easy as Kari! High-five!" Matt gave Marcus a high-five.

"Hah hah! That's pretty good," Gennai nodded in approval. "Let's check out the next letter before I join along with you guys.

"Yes, please do," Kari frowned.

"Shut up Kari!" Zoe yelled.

"Next question!"

* * *

_Dear Matt,_

_Get over yourself. That wasn't a question, but I just had to say it._

_- Tyler from Ocala, Florida_

* * *

"Hah hah hah hah hah!" Gennai, Tai and Marcus laughed.

"What? What does that even mean?" Matt's jaw dropped.

"It means you're conceited," Ryo muttered as he pressed buttons on his Tamagotchi.

"No I'm not!" Matt protested.

"Yes you are. You act like you're the hottest guy in the world, when you're really not," Takuya said.

"But I am pretty hot, don't you think?" Matt said.

"No, I am. I'm the Legendary Warrior of FIRE, and fire is hot!" Takuya grinned.

"I guess you can't really argue with that logic," Gennai shrugged.

"Gennai! Are you seriously agreeing with that? Takuya doesn't even make any sense!" Thomas said.

"And neither does your face! Next question!"

* * *

_Dear Koji_

_Same thing I said to Matt but...who was a better kisser? Rika or Zoe?_

_- Tyler from Ocala, Florida_

* * *

"Wow, Tyler's a really big fan of you guys," Gennai laughed.

"You kissed my girl?!" JP screamed.

"I am not your girl!" Zoe fumed.

"Hah, the only girl you ever had was Baby Ruth!" Kazu smirked.

"And even then, you made her disappear...right into your stomach!" Kenta heckled.

"Hey Tyler! To answer your question, I don't remember...I might need to jog my memory," Koji smirked. He leaned in toward Rika, but she shoved Ryo in front of her.

"Pfft!" Koji spit and took his tongue out of Ryo's mouth. "Ryo?"

"I bet all of the yaoi fangirls at home are shrieking their heads off right now," Gennai bit his lip.

"Huh? What just happened? I was just training my pet, and the next thing I know, my mouth is all slobbery," Ryo looked up from his Tamagotchi.

"Serves him right for playing with that stupid toy," TK snorted.

"Hey! Where did my Tama go?" Ryo looked around.

"Tama?" Yoshi asked.

"It's my little nickname for my Tamagotchi," Ryo sighed.

"Oooh, here's something I bet all of you are dying to know the answer to!" Gennai waved a letter in the air.

"Is it where my Tamagotchi is?" Ryo asked.

"No," Gennai said. "But this question is for you..."

* * *

_Dear Ryo,_

_Have you always been a video game lover?_

_- James from Potato, Idaho_

* * *

"Well, before I met Tama, I liked playing Digimon cards. I was so good at them, I beat the Digimon Queen," Ryo poked Rika in the cheek.

"You only won because I let you," Rika slapped Ryo's hand away.

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that, my Digimon Queen," Ryo smiled.

"Hey! I told you not to call me that anymore!" Rika slapped Ryo on the back of the head.

"Yeah! Besides, we all know she likes to be called princess," Koji smirked.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?!" Rika yelled.

"Hey Rika...," Gennai chimed. "You've got a interesting question. I think you should answer it. Eh?"

* * *

_Dear Rika,_

_Who do you think makes a better boyfriend: Ryo, Takato, Henry, or Koji? And why?_

_- Mackenzie from Alberta, Canada_

* * *

"What an easy question!" Rika said.

"Oooh, does Rika have a crush on someone?" Jeri gushed.

"Come on, Jeri! Even you know the answer is super obvious," Rika put her hand on her hip.

"Yeah, Jeri. We all know it's me," Koji leaned back against a wall.

"You wish!" Rika pretended to stick her finger down her throat.

"Then if it's not me, then who is it? Your lover boy, Takato?" Koji said.

"Huh?!" Takato shrieked.

"No, it's not Takato! It's Henry," Rika yelled.

"Henry?!" everyone shrieked.

"What?" Henry gasped.

"Yeah, you heard me. Henry's not annoying, stupid, or a momma's boy," Rika said. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Wait...who's the momma's boy?" Takato scratched his head.

"Really?" Koji looked at Takato.

"Even stupid guy here knows," Ryo poked Koji.

"Hey, what does that mean? That it makes you the annoying one?" Koji shoved Ryo.

"At least I'm not the momma's boy," Ryo kicked Koji's ankle.

"I'm not the momma's boy! You must have gotten us twins confused because Kouichi's the one who lives with our mom!" Koji tumbled to the floor.

"No no no no no! Don't bring me into this," Kouichi shook his hands in front of his chest.

"Too late," Gennai said. "Kari, answer this!"

* * *

_Dear Kari,_

_How could you not tell that Kouichi liked you?_

_- Marina from El Paso, Texas_

* * *

"I gotta go," Kouichi slowly got up from his seat.

"No, you're staying," Zoe pulled him by the arm and dragged him back down to his seat.

"I didn't think Kouichi liked me like that. I thought he was gay," Kari said. "Sorry, Kouichi."

"Why did you think that?" Kouichi's jaw dropped.

"Well, you're a really nice guy," Kari said.

"That doesn't make him gay," Henry said.

"Okay, it doesn't but I had my suspicions. Then it was the pink shirt that convinced me you were gay," Kari said.

"This?" Kouichi pulled at the sleeve of his undershirt. "For the last time, this is a faded out red!"

"Sure it is...," Takuya smirked.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything. But pink and green? That's a pretty gay combination," Kari wriggled her nose.

"No it isn't! Pink and green are very stylish together!" Mimi yelled.

"And gay guys like to wear stylish things," Kari said. "So maybe Kouichi is gay after all."

"He must be gay if he likes you, because you look like a man," Zoe said.

"And you look like Gollum!" Kari spat back.

"I can't believe this...," Kouichi gripped his head. "Way to make me feel like crap all over again."

"It's okay, it'll get better," Gennai rested his arm on Kouichi's shoulder. "Here's your chance to redeem yourself."

* * *

_Dear Kouichi,_

_Are you seriously going to take that from Kari?_

_- Jaime from Kansas City, Missouri_

* * *

"Take what?" Kouichi said.

"Not her virginity, that's for sure," Ryo said.

"Ryo!" everyone jumped from their seats.

"What? I'm bored...," Ryo shrugged.

"The next thing we need is another Koji! Somebody, find this kid's Tamagotchi!" Gennai yelled.

"What?" one of the cameramen fiddled around with a keychain toy.

"That toy is just as evil as Rufus...speaking of which...," Gennai sighed.

* * *

_Dear Jeri,_

_How long have you known Rufus was evil? Also, did you get rid of him? He gives me the creeps..._

_- Tommy from File Island, Digital World_

* * *

"I've known Rufus was evil after the whole D-Reaper incident. At first I thought Rufus was possessed by the D-Reaper, but what the media didn't tell you was that the D-Reaper had nothing to do with Rufus," Jeri said.

"Did you get rid of him?" Tommy trembled.

"I've tried to several times. I would 'accidently' throw him in the trash bin, drop him off the bridge, or leave him behind on a train-"

"It's not leaving him behind if you throw the puppet inside a train that goes to the other side of the country," Henry said.

"Okay...but it didn't matter what I did. Rufus would be sitting at my windowsill at night, just waiting for me," Jeri shuddered.

"That's so creepy!" Matt shrieked.

"But, I found a solution! Roll the tape!" Jeri said.

* * *

_Exclusive Footage:_

"Jeri! Don't do it!"

"No! I hate you!" Jeri cried.

"Come on! I'm the last memory left of your mother!" Rufus pleaded.

"I guess that's just something I'll have to deal with! I'm tired of you haunting me every day!" Jeri screamed.

"I thought we were buddies! Remember all the good times we had, buddy?" Rufus said.

"No! Buddies don't make buddies look like creepy people!" Jeri pressed her lips together and shoved Rufus into a paper shredder.

"Nooooo! Jerrriiiii!"

"Goodbye forever!" Jeri said as she crammed Rufus deeper into the shredder.

* * *

"All of the other times I tried to get rid of Rufus, he always managed to come back. So I figured that if Rufus was torn apart to shreds, he can't come back to stalk me anymore," Jeri said.

"Nice thinking," Joe nodded his head.

"Has it worked so far?" Gennai asked.

"I've been Rufus-free for about a month now," Jeri smiled.

"That's amazing! The world is now back to normal now," Takuya cheered.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"I'm almost done...," Rufus used his mouth to sew pieces of himself back together. "Just wait, Jeri! I'm coming back for you! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!"

* * *

"Awww, Ken...someone's really concerned for your health!" Gennai wiped a tear off with another letter.

* * *

_Dear Ken,_

_Are you feeling any better since you had that stick in your chest?_

_-Alan from Seattle, Oregon_

* * *

"I'm doing better, thanks for asking," Ken said. "I was this close to getting gangrene, but my doctor said to think of it as a huge splinter...a really huge splinter.

"Did it work?" Takuya asked.

"I guess so, because he used giant pliers to pull that branch out. Half of my guts fell out, but luckily, nothing happened to my heart," Ken said.

"That's so gross...," Takuya said in awe.

"Just as gross as a horny Yolei?" Gennai winked at Yolei.

"I am not horny!" Yolei said. "Okay, maybe just a little..."

* * *

_Dear Yolei,_

_How was it when you made out with Thomas?_

_- Miki and Megumi from Tokyo, Japan_

* * *

"It was like heaven...I could kiss him for hours and hours and hours!" Yolei gushed.

"Please don't. I'm still recovering from my reconstructive surgery," Thomas shuddered.

"It's okay. We could do some other stuff in the meantime," Yolei snaked her arms around Thomas's waist.

"Help!" Thomas mouthed.

"Awww, I can see Thomas is really excited!" Gennai smiled.

"He looks scared more than anything," Yoshi noted. "Should we do something?"

"Nah, that's Yolei's job," Gennai waved her away. "So Zoe..."

"Yeah?" Zoe gave Gennai a suspicious look.

"Everyone's dying to know the question to this!" Gennai ripped up an envelope.

* * *

_Dear Zoe,_

_Are you a natural blonde? Just wondering because most blondes have blue eyes, but yours are green..._

_- Reginald from Thousand Oaks, California_

* * *

"Okay, you've got me there," Zoe sighed. "You see these?" she took something out of her eye. "I really am a natural blonde. I just wear green-colored contacts, see?" Zoe took out one of her contacts to show everyone.

"Whoa...so your eyes are actually blue?" Takato asked. "Then why do you put green contacts in?"

"I wanted to be a little different from all the other blondes," Zoe shrugged.

"You are one special blonde, I'll give you that," Gennai nodded his head.

"Are you seriously naturally blonde?" Yoshi said.

"Yeah," Zoe took her hat off and pointed at the top of her head. "Look, no roots!"

"You're so lucky that you don't need to spend money on dye jobs," Mimi sighed.

"Then stop dying your hair stupid colors," Matt said.

"Is this a stupid color?" Mimi held up a lock of her hair.

"It is a bit four years ago," Sora pursed her lips.

"I'd have to agree with that," TK nodded.

"What do you know? You wear a fisherman's hat on your head," Mimi snapped.

"Yeah, why do you wear a fisherman's hat?" Gennai said. "That's like wearing gloves in the desert!"

All of the Adventure kids, except for TK, Kari, and Joe, looked down at their hands. "Uh... to be fair, we did walk across some snow," Tai said.

"But that was like for two episodes," Joe said.

"We did stay inside a lot of caves, and caves get cold...," Matt said.

"But we were mostly wandering around in jungles," TK said.

"Shut. Up. T. K. Seriously," Matt grunted.

"No! We need TK to speak! He has to answer this question!" Gennai yelled.

* * *

_Dear TK,_

_How come you never learned how to swim?_

_- Catherine from Paris, France_

* * *

"I didn't really live near a pool or beach or something like that when I was younger, so I never had the chance to learn," TK said.

"That's not the real reason...," Kari teased.

"Oh, really?" everyone leaned in toward TK.

"So TK told me he got scared of water after Matt showed him a hentai that involved some fish girl from the sea," Kari said.

"You showed him a hentai?!" everyone yelled.

"Ponyo is not a hentai!" Matt yelled back. "I thought that TK would like that movie, but nooooo. He was so scared, that he didn't take baths anymore. In fact, he avoided any huge tub that was filled with water, including stove pots!"

"Ponyo? Seriously?" Gennai looked at TK.

"Yeah...," TK sheepishly rubbed his arm.

"You're just as much of a wreck as Joe is," Gennai laughed. "So, Joe...wanna answer the next question?"

"Not really," Joe stuttered.

"Too bad. If you don't, everyone will think you're a big disappointment," Gennai pretended to sound sad.

"Don't you already think that?" Joe said.

"Just answer the damn question!" Gennai snapped.

* * *

_Dear Joe,_

_Do you know where they sell the condoms in Walmart?_

_- Willis from Hicksville, Colorado_

* * *

"Stupid, stupid Willis. Does this guy look like he gets any?" Gennai heckled.

"Hey! I know where they sell them! Right next to the toy section!" Joe said.

"What kind of toys are you talking about?" Matt smirked.

"They're right next to where the Legos, Care Bears, and Hot Wheels are," Joe said.

"Seriously?" everyone said.

"I wish I wasn't," Joe sighed.

"Let's go to Walmart so we can play with condoms!" Tommy exclaimed. "Wait, what's a condom?"

"Next question!" Gennai pulled out another letter.

* * *

_Dear Henry,_

_Why are you half-Chinese?_

_- Geo from Bethesda, Maryland_

* * *

"Uh...," Henry had a confused look on his face. "Maybe because my dad is Chinese and my mom isn't?"

"Noooo, I would have never guessed that," Marcus said sarcastically.

"Well, what kind of answer were they expecting?" Henry shook his head.

"Probably something more interesting," Davis said.

"How can I even give an interesting answer to a question like that?" Henry asked.

"Use your imagination. When you come up with a better answer, then let us know. Now, let's get to the next letter," Gennai said.

* * *

_Dear Sora,_

_What ever happened to your blue helmet?_

_- Katsumi from Osaka, Japan_

* * *

"I can answer that one for you!" Tai shot his hand up in the air. "Me and Matt were goofing off in the locker room and we saw your hat- but we thought it was a jockstrap."

"A really big jockstrap!" Matt nodded.

"So I put it on-"

"Tai! That's so gross!" Sora gasped.

"That's not the best part! I lit the hat on fire and bet Tai he couldn't take it off before he got burned," Matt said.

"Yeah, I'll never do that again," Tai winced.

"You told me some guy stole it!" Sora yelled.

"You should thank me for lighting that hat on fire! Wearing jockstraps on your head is not attractive," Tai said.

"I can't believe you guys!" Sora screamed.

"At least you can wear that hairpin I got you years ago?" Tai laughed nervously.

"Hey, speaking of fashion...," Gennai pulled out another letter.

* * *

_Dear Kenta, _

_You look like a nerd. How come you're not smart?_

_-Xander from Milan, Italy_

* * *

"Heeeey, I do not look like a nerd," Kenta whined.

"That's right, Xander! He looks like a dumbass, hence why he isn't that smart," Kazu cackled.

"Ohhh...," everyone said.

"That makes a lot of sense now," JP said.

"Shut up fatass! You barely know me, you first-place loser!" Kenta yelled.

"I'd rather be a fatass than a dumbass," JP bit off a piece of his candy bar.

"Well, congratulations! You don't have to choose because you're both!" Kenta retorted.

"Ouch," Gennai winced. "Insulted by a dumbass...that's pretty low. But not as low as this question..."

* * *

_Dear Kari,_

_Why are you such a slut?_

_-Jordan from British Columbia, Canada_

* * *

"She's not a slut! She hasn't even tried to go past first base with me," Davis said.

"Wow. You must be doing something wrong," Matt said.

"Hey! That's my baby sister you're talking about, ya punk!" Tai grabbed Matt by the collar.

"What? Even you know that's true! She's done it with-"

"John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, Schmidt," Kazu said.

"Lalalalalalalala! I won't take that!" Tai plugged his fingers in his ears.

"_Whenever we go out, the people always shout..._," Kenta sang.

"_Kari screwed John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schmidt, la la la la la_!" Kazu sang.

"Davis...what are you doing wrong?" Marcus shook his head.

"He's not doing Kari, but he might be doing something, or someone else...," Gennai held an envelope up to his mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Davis yelled.

* * *

_Dear Davis,_

_Do you have secret feelings for TK? Is that why you were so jealous when Kari kissed him? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?_

_- Cameron from Boston, Massachusetts_

* * *

"What do you think?" Davis crossed his arms.

"I think Davis gave up on the whole Kari liking him thing, so he decided to go after TK but that didn't work out too well, cause Kari stole TK away from him, and now he's back to liking Kari again after he heard that Kari doesn't have any standards," Yolei said.

"Like you have any room to talk," Kari said. "I heard you did it with the whole lacrosse team. And I mean the WHOLE lacrosse team."

"At least I didn't steal your boyfriend away from you! You know how much I liked Jingleheimer!"

"What hasn't Kari stolen?" Zoe scoffed.

"I didn't steal him. He came running to me," Kari shrugged.

"That was probably after he heard that you'd sleep with anyone," Joe pushed up his glasses.

"Anyone but Davis," Ken grinned.

"Hey!" Davis yelled. "We're saving ourselves for marriage!"

"So that's why Kari hasn't slept with him," Matt whispered to Marcus.

"I thought it was romantic! It was Kari's idea," Davis smiled.

"That's a lame excuse, Kari. Just admit that you don't like Davis," Zoe smirked.

"I'm not going to admit that!" Kari gasped.

"Admit? So you really don't like Davis...," Zoe said.

"Now you're just screwing my words around!" Kari pouted.

"At least I'm not screwing people around," Zoe stuck out her tongue.

"You know what?!"

"Let's move to the next question before we end up having a mud wrestling match between Zoe and Kari here," Gennai popped some pills into his mouth. "Oops, kinda shot that horse in the face..."

* * *

_Dear Davis,_

_Why did you pick Kari? Even you could do better. So much better._

_- Dylan from Sydney, Australia_

* * *

"I loved her since the first day I met her," Davis smiled goofily. "From her bright eyes, to that beautiful smile, and her soft brown hair. She's like an angel."

"Awww, how cute!" Jeri swooned.

"Being with Kari's like a dream come true," Davis sighed.

"If Kari's his dream girl, that's some pretty low standards...," Zoe shook her head.

"Hey, why do you keep saying that stuff? Are you jealous of me or something?" Kari frowned.

"I'm not jealous, I just think you're a skank!" Zoe smirked.

"Oh Jesus...is it me, or is this Kari/Zoe drama getting annoying?" Gennai huffed. "Oh great...another stupid question."

* * *

_Dear Kari,_

_Why Davis of all people? Also, what do you think of TK?_

_- Katerina from Athens, Greece_

* * *

"TK's my friend, a special friend...," Kari grinned. "We've done a lot of things together that I couldn't do with anybody else."

"You bastard! You touched my sister!" Tai punched TK in the face.

"I didn't do anything like that!" TK said in between punches. "I swear!"

"Tai! Get off of him! You're going to kill him!" Matt jumped on top of Tai.

"Is it me, or does everyone fight over Kari?" Takato made a face.

"It sure looks like it...," Henry raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe the only solution to world peace is to get rid of Kari," Cody said.

"Why would you say something like that?" Jeri's jaw dropped.

"People fight over/because of her all of the time. If Kari was out of the picture, then maybe people would stop fighting," Cody explained.

"Now that's a smart thinker," Zoe gave Cody a thumbs up.

"Okay! SHUT UP! Let's move on to the next question!" Gennai said.

* * *

_Dear Takuya,_

_What possessed you to give babies alcohol? Are you retarded or something?_

_- Garrett from Augusta, Maine_

* * *

"I am not retarded! It's a family tradition!" Takuya threw his hands up in the air.

"What? Giving babies hangovers?" Kazu said. "Even I know better!"

"And that's sad...," Rika said.

"No! Look, my grandma fed my dad alcohol when he was a baby so he could sleep easier, and my dad fed me alcohol, and I'll do the same thing for my kids! It really works. Just one sip of bourbon, and the babies go out like that!" Takuya snapped his fingers. "Besides, the babies won't even remember their hangovers! I sure as hell didn't!"

"That has to be the most retarded thing you've ever said...and you say a lot of retarded things," JP shook his head.

"Wasn't he the leader of your group?" Gennai said.

"Well, that's why we also had Koji," Tommy said. "He was like our co-leader."

"So you guys followed a retard and a jackass?" Gennai raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty much," Zoe sighed. "I knew I should have been the leader."

"We probably would have gotten a lot more stuff accomplished if you were," JP nodded.

"Definitely," Kouichi said.

"From one leader to another, how about you answer the next question, Takato?" Gennai said.

* * *

_Dear Takato,_

_Do you even qualify as a real gogglehead? You're not reckless..._

_- Mikey from Tokyo, Japan_

* * *

"He wears goggles on his head. I'm pretty sure that makes him a real gogglehead," Rika scoffed. "Being reckless has nothing to do with it."

"Yeah, cause if it did, I would be the biggest gogglehead out of all of you!" Marcus said. "And I don't need goggles to prove I'm a badass motherfucker...or BAMF for short!"

"I thought I was supposed to answer that question," Takato said.

"Wow, you put all goggleheads to shame. You're not that assertive, are you?" Tai shook his head.

"You don't need to wear goggles to be a badass! Don't listen to those morons," Marcus told Takato. "In fact, take off those goggles! A real gogglehead is stupid, annoying, and all around retarded! Why would you want to be like them anyways?"

"Uh...," Takato fiddled with the strap of his goggles.

"How were you a leader when everyone is tougher than you are?" Takuya said.

"Hey!" Takato yelled.

"It must be impossible to do when you cry all the time," Davis agreed.

"I do not cry all of the time!" Takato protested.

"You cry every time Guilmon digivolves, you cry when Rika's mean to you, you cry when Terriermon insults you, you cry when Jeri shot you down," Kazu listed.

"Shut up! No I don't!" Takato wiped his face.

"Are you crying right now?" Kenta grinned.

"No...," Takato sniffled.

"Way to make him feel like crap!" Rika punched Kazu in the face.

"It's your turn to make him feel like crap," Gennai handed Takato a piece of paper. "Read this!"

* * *

_Dear Kazu,_

_Why did you vote Kenta off? You should have been kicked out a long time ago, you jerk! The only reason you even stayed on the show as long as you did was because of Kenta!_

_- Nami Asagi from Tokyo, Japan_

* * *

"Hmmm...for some reason that name sounds familiar," Kazu tapped his finger on his chin.

"Should we tell him?" Takato whispered to Henry.

"Nah," Henry said.

"Well, to answer your question, pretty little thing...unless you're a guy, I only voted Kenta off for his own good. Everyone knew that he wasn't going to win the competition, and I didn't want to get his hopes up," Kazu said. "I was only saving him time!

"You're such a good friend," Kenta hugged Kazu. "Thanks for watching out for me!"

"Is this kid serious?" Ken asked.

"Yeah, he is. Those two are the biggest morons you'll ever meet," Rika said.

"So let's go to the biggest genius you'll ever meet!" Gennai gestured to Thomas. "This one's for you!"

* * *

_Dear Thomas,_

_Why do you intend on making Izzy so jealous?_

_- Antonio from Los Cabos, Mexico_

* * *

"I don't intend on making Izzy jealous. Sure, I'm accomplished for someone of my age, but if Izzy's too insecure in himself to handle that fact, it's not my fault," Thomas said.

"What?!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Okay, next question!" Gennai boomed.

* * *

_Dear Izzy,_

_How come you are so jealous of Thomas?_

_- Kayla from Atlanta, Georgia_

* * *

"Why do people insist that I'm jealous of Thomas? I just don't like the fact that he brags about everything and he doesn't like it when he's number one, or when people don't follow his plans. Don't you think that's reason enough to have some animosity towards him?" Izzy said.

"Thomas, you're my best friend and all- well, besides Yoshi," Marcus put a hand on Thomas's shoulder. "But it's so annoying when you rub your stupid college degrees in our faces like a windshield wiper."

"See my point?" Izzy said.

"Oh, I didn't read the rest of the letter," Gennai put on a fake pair of eyeglasses.

* * *

_PS: I think your smarter, hotter, and awesomer than Thomas._

_- Love Kayla from Atlanta, Georgia. I super love you! Like super love love!_

* * *

"Don't you think so too, Kayla?" Mimi sat on Izzy's lap and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thanks, Kayla. I'm very honored at your opinion," Izzy blushed.

"I think someone needs to get their eyes checked," Thomas said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mimi frowned.

"Let's face it. You aren't the brightest star in the sky," Thomas said.

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that!" Izzy yelled.

"Or what? You'll pull my hair again?" Thomas smirked.

"That's it! You're on," Izzy took Mimi off his lap and tackled Thomas to the floor.

"Are you forgetting that I'm a master of martial arts?" Thomas threw Izzy to the ground.

"And I'm the master of kicking ass!" Izzy got up from the floor and punched Thomas in the face.

"Hey hey hey! I'm the ultimate fighter here!" Marcus thrust his thumb to his chest. "If a real fight's what you want, a real fight's what you're gonna get! You two are gonna regret calling yourselves fighting masters!"

"Marcus, don't!" Yoshi exclaimed.

"It's fightin' time!" Marcus rolled up his sleeves and jumped on top of Izzy and Thomas.

"I think it's time for a commercial break...," Gennai grinned at the camera. "Stay tuned!"


	23. (Hide and) Seek and You Shall Receive

**Recap:** Lily disbands the teams once again, so now everyone is competing against one another. Teamwork, schweamwork! Who needs that anymore? After the kids make up their own logos, Lily and Gennai celebrate the team disbanding by throwing the first annual File Island talent show! ShogunGekomon appears as the special guest judge, and boy, he's not easily impressed. Davis showed off his own unique hibachi skills, Kari lit the stage on fire, Izzy lit money on fire, Zoe danced like the floor was on fire, Kazu's jokes were crappy, Marcus beat the crap out of Kazu, Tai played with his balls, Rika grinded the stage (we're talking skateboarding, but it was Matt who claimed victory, thanks to his coolness. While Matt had the X-Factor, Mimi's voice belonged on Fear Factor...it was so horrible, ShogunGekomon threw a Mariah Carey-style tantrum on everyone and had to be put down with a tranquilizer. Mimi gets sent home, probably because she was the one that set off ShogunGekomon, but mostly because her singing was worse than Kazu's jokes. Yes, it really was that bad :(

* * *

**(Hide and) Seek and You Shall Receive**

"Nooooo!" Marcus flipped his Digimon Card play mat over.

"Careful! You're gonna wrinkle it!" Kazu took the mat and flattened it over with his hands.

"Did you really think that you could have beaten me with that pathetic ShineGreymon card?" Rika scoffed.

"One more round! It's fightin' time!" Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"She kicked your ass with a Lillymon card, she kicked your ass with a Terriermon card, and she just kicked your ass with a Burgermon card. What makes you think that she won't kick your ass this time around?" Kazu said.

"The ultimate fighter never runs away from a challenge!" Marcus shuffled his deck of cards.

"Can you at least use another digimon besides Agumon? It gets pretty old after a while," Rika yawned.

"Don't tell me what to do! Let's just play!" Marcus commanded.

"Wow, Marcus seems to be addicted to that stupid card game," Davis commented.

"You're just jealous because you don't have your own card," Matt kissed a Digimon card that had a picture of him on it.

"Stupid Davis," Tai stuck his tongue out. "I look like a stud in this picture! Mee-ow!"

"Please, I'm way hotter!" Matt held his card up to Tai's face.

"In your drea-hold on! Gimme that!" Tai snatched Matt's card out of his hand. "How is your card worth more points than mine?"

"What? Lemme see!" Matt took his card back and looked at Tai's card. "Oh my god, that's beautiful!"

"That's not fair! I was the freaking leader! I should get the most points!" Tai yelled.

"I think they rank these cards by attractiveness," Matt smiled.

"Mayb-HEY! What are you trying to say?!" Tai yelled.

"Do you think everyone else has their own cards too?" Davis asked.

"Oooh, let's see!" Tai dropped his card and rushed over to Rika and Marcus, who were in the middle of another round. "Excuse me!" Tai took Rika's and Marcus's cards and sifted through them.

"What's the big idea?!" Marcus yelled.

"Nope, nope, yes, nope, nope, nope, nope, yes, yes, nope," Tai threw random cards on the floor.

"Hey! You're gonna lose my cards!" Kazu frantically tried to pick his cards up.

"What are you doing?" Rika crossed her arms.

"There we go!" Tai counted the cards in his hands. "We're missing one of them, but it's probably worth the least amount of points anyway."

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that," Matt jeered.

"Hey, it's you guys!" Marcus pointed at the cards.

"Yep! Tai's just curious cause my card is worth more points than his is, so he's trying to see how he is compared to the rest of us original Digidestined," Matt said.

"Where's my card?" Kari peeked over Tai's shoulder.

"You don't count since you didn't even join the team until halfway through the destruction of the real and digital worlds. Everyone else was there from the very start, hence why they can be considered the original Digidestined and you can't," Zoe said.

"Pretty much," Matt nodded.

"What do you know anyways?" Kari snapped.

"Digimon Adventure was a show in our universe, except people stopped watching it once you came onto the scene. You were the little sweet girl that got sick all of the time and held up everyone else. It was okay when Mimi did it because she was a moron, but you were the 'perfect' one and you barely did anything but faint and made TK look like a total sissy...well, more of a total sissy than he already was," Kazu said.

"That's pretty much what happened," Tai said in monotone as he looked at all of the cards. "No friggin' way!"

"What?" everyone leaned in toward Tai.

"Joe's the most powerful card out of all of us!" Tai pointed at Joe's card.

"Seriously?" Rika picked the card up. "Oh my god! Maybe I should actually start paying attention to the Digidestined cards!"

"Who has the least valuable card?" Marcus asked.

"..." Tai angrily moved the cards around on the floor. "Nobody..."

"Hmm," Matt picked up all of the Digidestined cards and looked through them. "Hahahahaha!"

"It's Tai, isn't it?" everyone else said at the same time.

"You can have that card, Kazu. You did want to expand your card collection, right?" Rika slid Tai's card to Kazu.

"Nuh uh! I only want valuable cards. You can keep it," Kazu slid the card back to Rika.

"I have enough cards. If worse comes to worst, I can always buy more. On the other hand, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Take it," Rika pushed the card back to Kazu.

"I don't even see a horse. Keep it, I insist!" Kazu slid the card back to Rika.

"No givebacks!" Rika stuck the card down Kazu's shirt.

"Dammit!" Kazu punched the ground.

"Nobody wants me...not even Kazu!" Tai pouted.

"That's an all-time low," Matt snickered.

"No givebacks!" Kazu stuck the card on Tai's arm.

"Awww, I don't even want me!" Tai whined. "Hey, where's Izzy? I'll dump my card on him!"

"Don't even bother. He's being antisocial," Kari said.

"Let's make him social then! Come on, everyone!" Tai motioned everyone over.

"Sure," Marcus shrugged.

"Hey Izzy! What's crackin'?" Davis jumped in front of Izzy.

"...," Izzy didn't say anything.

"Whachoo got there?" Marcus pointed at Izzy's hand.

"It's Mimi's card," Zoe snatched the card from Izzy.

"Give it!" Matt looked at the card. "Hey, Tai. Mimi's card has more points than your card!"

"Seriously?" Davis tried to hold in his laughter.

"That's really pathetic," Rika gave Tai a pity look.

"Are you guys seriously comparing the stats of your cards when our friend is depressed?" Kari massaged Izzy's shoulders. "Don't worry, Izzy. You'll see Mimi again! You're bound to lose the competition soon anyways, so you'll see each other in no time!"

"...," Izzy angrily got up and walked away.

"That went well," Marcus snorted.

"Kari, that was a bitchy thing to say," Zoe crossed her arms.

"Coming from the queen of bitches," Kari breezily said.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Zoe smirked.

"Are you in second grade?" Matt huffed.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Zoe repeated.

"She's seriously worse than Koji now!" Tai gripped at his hair.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Zoe said.

"Honestly, I like this. It's very entertaining," Marcus laughed.

"Don't encourage her!" Matt yelled.

"He's not encouraging me to do anything," Zoe said.

"See?" Marcus shrugged.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Okay, maybe I did encourage her, but at least she stopped saying 'I know you are, but what am I?'. It's called reverse psychology, or something like that. I pull that with Thomas all of the time, especially when I pretend that my mom's steamed vegetables are the best thing in the world. They are pretty good, but Thomas eats a lot of them to spite me, and he gets so full he doesn't have enough room for my precious fried eggs. If only Agumon fell for that," Marcus rubbed his chin.

* * *

"Hey guys, are you ready for your next challenge?" Lily hopped over to the contestants.

"Uh...why are you dressed up like Arukenimon?" Kari asked.

"What is it with you guys criticizing my outfits?" Lily put her hands on her hips. Gennai stood next to her, wearing a Mummymon costume.

"I don't know about you, but with all of those outfits, she's starting to remind me of Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. Like a mean Ms. Frizzle," Tai whispered.

"If you guys want to know why I'm wearing this, it's because we're gonna play an extreme game of hide-and-seek!" Lily said.

"How extreme are you talking?" Davis asked.

"Try Giga-extreme!" Lily threw her arms up in the air.

"Wha...?" everyone looked at each other confused.

"What's a giga?" Zoe grimaced.

"It's just a really big number," Izzy huffed.

"It's also the name of the place you guys will hide in," Lily said.

"Is it the Giga Waffle?" Kazu asked.

"I never heard of that place," Marcus noted.

"That's because he just made that up!" Izzy snapped.

"Yeah, I did," Davis sighed. "But wouldn't it be awesome if there were a place called Giga Waffles, where they would give you waffles this huge?" he held his arms up to his sides.

"That sounds delicious! With a big bowl of blueberries on top," Gennai drooled.

"I'm more into the scoops of French vanilla ice cream on top," Lily smiled.

"I like lots of chocolate syrup and powdered sugar on mine!" Tai chimed in.

"Pfft, whatever happened to eating waffles with just waffles? My mom made such great waffles, you didn't even need to have toppings! You could eat them plain!" Marcus bragged.

"You know, you talk a lot of smack about your mom's cooking! Why don't we go over to your house and be the judge?" Matt said.

"That's not a bad idea. We'll throw a get-together after I win the competition," Marcus winked.

"Ha, you wish!" Kazu haughtily crossed his arms.

"I wish we could just get this challenge over with so that one of you guys can get eliminated already," Izzy rubbed his head.

"Wow, what's your problem?" Rika scowled.

"Who cares? Before we were talking about giant waffles, I was gonna tell you that this next challenge will take place in the Gigahouse," Lily said. "I will give you guys fifteen minutes to find a hiding spot. After that, Gennai will walk around the house with a water gun, looking for you guys. If he finds you, Gennai will try to shoot you with paint. You lose the challenge if Gennai manages to get paint on you. The last one standing earns immunity for this week's elimination," Lily said. "Gennai! Where's the jeep?"

"It's all juiced up!" Gennai held the plug up.

"An electric car. How prodigious," Izzy nodded his head in approval.

"Hmm...pro-DJ's. I like that word. It sounds cool," Kazu rubbed his chin. "Pro-DJ's...Pro-DJ's, Pro-DJ's!"

"Stop it. You're not even saying it right," Izzy groaned.

"Well, isn't that pro-DJ's!" Kazu beamed.

"Do you even know what the word means?" Marcus smirked.

"No, but it sounds cool," Kazu said. "Pro-DJ's!"

"Knock it off," Izzy moaned.

* * *

_Pre-Game!_

"Heh heh heh, no one would bother looking for me in here!" Tai opened the door to a giant refrigerator and hopped inside the vegetable crisper. "It is pretty cold in here though..."

* * *

"This is probably the stupidest challenge so far," Rika grumbled. "I haven't played this game since...actually, I don't think I've ever played hide-and-seek in my entire life. It's pretty self-explanatory, even Kazu would understand to do," she casually strolled inside a toy room.

_*BEEEEP!*_

"Here goes," Rika shrugged and walked inside a life-sized dollhouse.

"Rika? Is that you?" Zoe peered behind the dollhouse.

"...," Rika didn't respond back.

"Hmmm, I must be hearing things," Zoe trailed off.

"_Ready or not, here we come!_"

"This is great! I don't have enough time to find a place to hide!" Zoe stomped her foot. "I might just have a good idea...," she eyed a Barbie doll that was just as big as her.

* * *

"The ultimate fighter never goes without eating an ultimate snack!" Marcus hid inside a huge cookie jar and broke off a piece of a large cookie.

_*BEEEEEP*_

"Are you serious? This is gonna be the first place he's gonna go!" Marcus shrieked. "Whatever, if I lose this challenge, at least I did it on a full stomach."

* * *

"Psst! Pssst! Pssssst! Kari!" Davis tried to get her attention.

"What's up?" Kari walked over to him.

"We should hide together," Davis wrapped his arms around her waist.

"As nice as that would be...," Kari wriggled in his arms. "Gennai might catch us and then we'd both lose."

"I guess you're right," Davis pouted. "Can I at least get a kiss before the game starts?"

"Of course," Kari handed him a Hershey's Kiss.

"I'm not talking about that kind of kiss," Davis looked at the candy in the palm of his hand.

_*BEEEEEP!*_

"_Ready or not, here we come!_" Gennai boomed.

"Gotta go! See ya later!" Kari ran away.

"Time for me to hide," Davis rubbed his hands together and scanned the laundry room. "People say I smell like feet anyways," he shrugged and jumped into a pile of dirty socks.

* * *

"If I were Gennai, where would be the last place I would look for someone?" Izzy pondered as he walked around the giant house. He stepped inside a library and took in the sights. "Prodigious!" he ran up to a computer desk and climbed into a pen holder.

* * *

"I don't want to sit around with nothing to do," Kazu rubbed his chin. "Pro-dee-jays!" he scaled his way up a big sofa and jumped on a remote control resting on the armrest. "Now let's see what's on TV!" Kazu stomped on the channel buttons. "Nah, nah, possibly, hell no, what the?!"

_*BEEEEP*_

"Crap!" Kazu nervously flapped his hands.

"Ready or not, here we come!"

"Ahhh! Spanish soap operas it is," Kazu squished himself in between two couch cushions and peeked his head out to watch the TV.

* * *

_*BEEEEP*_

"Ahhh! What do I do?!" Matt panicked. "Uhhh, uhhh...," Matt looked around the enormous bathroom. "I can't hide in the shower; it's too obvious. But I can't hide in the medicine cabinet either; it's too high up! Uhh, uhhhh...," Matt hyperventilated, scanning the room for somewhere to hide. "You've got to be kidding me...," Matt sighed. He climbed his way into the toilet.

* * *

_Game Time!_

"Ready or not, here we come!" Gennai taunted. "Hey, Lil. When do I get to drive the jeep?"

"Never," Lily steered the toy jeep into the kitchen area.

"Wait...turn around. I smell something," Gennai sniffed the air.

"It's about time you smelled that! Maybe you should have taken a shower this morning!" Lily snapped.

"No! Not that! I smell something Davish," Gennai squinted his eyes. "Go to the laundry room!"

"Okay, buy if you're wrong, I'm gonna tell Mrs. Kamiya how you're dying to eat her vegan tofurkey!" Lily threatened.

"Not the vegan tofurkey!" Gennai whined.

"Hmmm, you're right. It does smell like Davis in here," Lily made a face.

"Hey!" Davis's voice was muffled by the pile of socks he was hiding in.

"There he is!" Genna pumped his water gun and ran toward the dirty laundry.

"AHHHH!" Davis jumped out and started running away.

"Get him!" Gennai hopped inside the jeep.

"Time to floor it!" Lily slammed her foot on the gas pedal and drove in Davis's direction.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Davis screamed as he ran into the hallway.

"No mercy!" Gennai cackled as he attempted to shoot Davis with paint.

"Gah!" Davis sprinted into the kitchen.

"You're not gonna get away that quickly!" Lily said as the jeep started catching up to Davis.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!" Davis climbed up to the sink and dashed across the countertop.

"Get him, Gennai!" Lily commanded.

"I'm trying!" Gennai aimed for the countertop.

_*BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!*_

_"_Don't shoot the plates! Go after Davis!" Lily growled.

"I'm trying but he's hiding behind them!" Gennai shot a cookie jar to pieces.

"AHHHH!" Davis shrieked and ran away.

"DAVIS!" Marcus screamed. "I'M SO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

*SPLAT*

"Got you!" Gennai laughed.

"Grrrr!" Marcus grit his teeth.

"Dammit, we lost Davis!" Lily pounded her fist against the steering wheel. "Wait...did you hear that?"

"I don't hear anything," Gennai made a face.

_*achoo*_

"That! It's coming from there," Lily pointed to the fridge.

_*achoo*_ a delicate sneeze sounded.

"Marcus! Go open the fridge!" Lily said.

"Why the hell not? I already lost," Marcus pulled at the refrigerator door and easily opened it.

_*achoo achoo*_

"Hmmm," Lily stuck her head inside and squinted her eyes.

"I bet it's Zoe," Gennai noted.

"It's coming from in there," Lily pointed to the vegetable crisper.

"I got it!" Marcus pulled at the crisper enough to leave a small crack for Gennai to squeeze into.

"AHHHHH!"

_*SPLAT*_

"I got you now, beyotch!" Gennai cackled.

"Aw man," Tai whined.

_*achoo*_

"That was you? You sneeze like a girl," Marcus sneered.

"And you look like a girl," Tai scoffed.

"Oh yeah? At least I don't punch like one!" Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"Hey, hey, hey! While you guys are wasting time arguing about who's the girlier one, we've got people to hunt down!" Lily stomped her foot.

"We?" Marcus gave her an amused look.

"Yes, we. You guys already lost the challenge, so why don't you guys join in on the fun of hunting everyone else down?" Lily said.

"How about we go after Davis? It was his fault you two lost," Gennai suggested.

"That bastard!" Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"Then what are we waiting for? Cut the chit-chat and let's vamoose!" Lily excitedly motioned to her jeep.

"He went that way!" Tai stood up from the back of the jeep.

"GAHHHH!" Davis shrieked.

"We're gonna get you!" Tai growled.

"Somebody HELP!" Davis ran into the giant bathroom.

"Who would wanna help you when you showed them where they are?" Tai frowned.

"AHHHH!" Davis climbed up to the medicine cabinet, dodging Gennai's shots.

"Dammit kid! I'm out of ammo!" Gennai threw his gun on the floor.

"Then fill up your gun!" Lily screamed. "NOW!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Gennai shakily poured pink glitter paint into his gun.

"I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" Davis jumped down into the ground and ran out of the bathroom.

"Gennai! Hurry!" Lily commanded.

"Gah!" Gennai accidently dropped the gun and spilled the paint all over the floor.

"Don't worry! We'll get him!" Tai chased after Davis.

"And when we do, we're gonna beat the living stupid out of him!" Marcus yelled.

_*blub blub*_

"What was that?" Gennai turned around.

_*blub blub blub*_

"Don't tell me someone actually hid in the toilet," Lily groaned. "It must be Kazu..."

"Only one way to find out," Gennai picked up his reloaded gun and scaled his way up to the toilet.

_*splish splash* _

"AHHHH!"

_*SPLAT!*_

"That hurt!" Matt yelled. Gennai pulled him out of the toilet and thrashed him to the floor.

"You hid in the toilet...," Lily stared at Matt.

"Yeah, don't remind me," Matt scrunched up his face.

"Now where did those guys go?" Lily asked.

"AHHHHHHH!" Davis ran in front of the doorway, with Marcus and Tai chasing after him.

"Time to go!" Gennai climbed into the jeep.

"Can I come too?" Matt said.

"No. You smell like toilet. Bye!" Lily drove out of the bathroom.

"I'm gonna DIIIIEEEE!" Davis sprinted down the hallway.

"Damn straight you are!" Tai yelled.

"He's headed straight to the play room!" Gennai yelled.

"This is way too much fun," Lily smiled as she followed Davis around.

*ka-putt-putt-putt-putt-putt*

"What's that sound?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "And why is my car going slowly?

"That's impossible! It can't run out of power, I just charged it!" Gennai said.

* * *

_An hour ago..._

"Stupid Lily. _Do this, do that, you're an idiot, take a shower because you smell like soy sauce, blah blah blah_," Gennai mumbled as he stuck an electric plug into a wall and walked away.

*Barbie Jeep: Charging 1%, charging 2%, charging 2.4%*

*Warning. 15% battery life. Please charge now* a red jeep alerted.

* * *

"Thank you Jesus!" Davis ran into a giant dollhouse and slammed the door shut.

"Don't be too relieved!" Gennai kicked the door open and ran inside the toy house.

"Holy sh-aaaahhhh!" Davis stumbled backwards and fell out a window.

"Hah! You think you're so-what is that?" Gennai stopped in his tracks and looked through the corner of his eye. "Hmmm...," Gennai tiptoed toward a large vase full of giant flowers.

"OWWW!"

_*SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT*_

"Gotta say, disguising yourself as a tiger lily...that was a clever idea," Gennai tugged at Rika's ponytail. "But not clever enough..."

"It wasn't clever enough if _you_ managed to find me," Rika scowled.

"Don't be a sore loser because you lost," Gennai laughed.

"I can't believe you found me," Rika wiped glitter paint off of her arm.

"Four down, five more to go," Gennai said in a badass tone. "Starting with Davis."

"You stupid car! Gah!" Lily kicked at the dead jeep.

"Look!" Marcus shoved a wind-up car toward Lily. "We can catch up to him, but we've got to wind it up every couple feet."

"I don't want to wind up my car!" Lily stomped her foot.

"You don't have to! I'll do it!" Marcus volunteered.

"That's a pro-DJ's idea! Tai, Rika, you coming?" Gennai said.

"I think I'll stay here...," Tai said.

"Me too," Rika said. Besides, the TV in the dollhouse actually works."

"Suit yourselves," Lily shrugged as she began to drive the car.

"OWWWW!"

"Whoa, that is one ugly Barbie doll. An ugly talking Barbie doll," Gennai grimaced.

"That's not a doll! That's Zoe!" Lily yelled.

"Oh...sorry about that," Gennai bit his lip.

"You should be!" Zoe picked herself up from the floor.

"I'm not sorry about what I said, I'm sorry about what I'm about to do," Gennai grinned and shot Zoe with paint.

"OWWWW!" she fell on her face.

"Bye Zoe! Feel better!" Gennai waved goodbye to her as Marcus turned the crank.

"This car is worse than a jack-in-the-box!" Lily huffed.

"At least it doesn't play that creepy music," Gennai said.

"Yeah, let's just get Davis!" Marcus said.

"He went into the library!" Gennai pointed.

"That must have been his first time," Marcus said.

"It's my first time," Lily marveled at the numerous books stacked on shelves.

"Seriously?" Gennai and Marcus eyed her.

"What? My parents didn't believe in secondhand books," Lily shrugged.

"That's weird...," Marcus trailed off.

"But these books look new," Lily sniffed the air.

"They do," Davis's voice echoed.

"You're such a moron, and we still can't catch you? This is shaming, just shaming," Gennai shook his head.

"Look. He's hiding behind that book! You can see his hair! Just play along," she whispered to Gennai and Marcus. "Oh, I guess we can't find Davis. Let's just look for everyone else," Lily said in an exaggerated tone.

"Oh yeah! At this rate, he might win the challenge!" Marcus said sarcastically as he watched Gennai delicately walked toward the incriminating book.

_*SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT*_

"Knock it off!"

"Got you now, you big-haired- what the Izzy?! Where the hell is Davis?!" Gennai screamed.

"How am I supposed to know! It's not like we know each other's hiding spots!" Izzy snapped.

"Are you sure? Cause Davis ended up leading us to the other contestants," Lily said.

"And we still haven't caught him!" Marcus punched the wind-up car.

"Of course not. The unexplainable seems to occur on a regular basis in this competition," Izzy sighed.

"You spend too much time in the library...my parents were right. That stuff rots your brains," Lily said.

"Books?" Izzy gave Lily a concerned look.

"Secondhand books," Lily squinted her eyes.

* * *

"Hah! They'll never find me here!" Davis triumphantly strutted to a huge pair of slippers. "Kari?"

"Shhh! Go away!" she hissed.

"Why?" Davis asked.

"You're gonna give us away!" Kari shooed him away.

"No I won't. Not if we're quiet," Davis flashed a grin.

"Ugh," Kari sighed. "Fine, but you have to shut up."

"I can't shut up unless my mouth is busy with something else...if you know what I mean," Davis winked.

"Here," Kari reluctantly handed him a candy bar.

"That's not what I mea-"

"I know he's in here! I can smell it. Literally!" Gennai yelled.

"I'm so lucky I have a dull sense of smell," Lily said.

"How did that happen?" Marcus asked.

"My parents always had strong candles in the house, and it pretty much numbed my sense of smell," Lily said.

"Your parents sound...interesting," Gennai said.

"Shut up! At least I have parents! You're so old, you don't even have parents because you're older than the human race," Lily scoffed.

"What...," Izzy's jaw dropped.

"Did you forget or what? I'm a human, but also not a human at the same time," Gennai rolled his eyes.

"Shouldn't we be looking for Davis?" Marcus reminded them.

"That's right! I can smell it...that way!" Gennai pointed to the big bunny slippers.

"Oh shit!"

"That's definitely him," Izzy huffed.

"Huuuuh-YAH!" Gennai infiltrated the bunny slippers and began shooting inside the shoe.

*SPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPL AT!*

"Ahhh!"

"Dammit!"

"Two dumbasses with one gun! Booyah!" Gennai chanted.

"Thanks a lot, Davie!" Kari grunted.

"You're welcome," Davis said, completely oblivious.

* * *

_*random Spanish dialogue*_

"No, Marisol! He's totally cheating on you with your best friend who isn't really your friend because she's a mean bitch with drawn-on eyebrows!" Kazu yelled at the TV.

_*more random Spanish dialogue*_

"Please, that is the biggest bullspit ever! You think she would actually believe that, Diego? If that is your real name!"

_*even more random Spanish dialogue*_

"NOOOO! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?! Maybe you deserve him after all! Oh no-what the hell is that? That doesn't look like the knife you use to spread cream cheese on a bagel with! That looks more like the kind of knife you use to kill Diego with!"

_*a narrator speaking Spanish in a sexy yet suspenseful tone*_

"Commercial break? Are you kidding me?!" Kazu pulled out his hair.

"Now we just have to find Visor head," Lily cruised around the living room.

_*ka-put-put-put-put*_

"Marcus...," Lily sat in the car.

"Got it!" Marcus turned the crank around and the car started again.

"Oh crap!" Kazu mouthed and burrowed himself in between the couch cushions.

"Hey look! The TV is on!" Gennai pointed to the TV.

"Then Kazu has to be nearby. That TV was off the last time I went by it," Lily looked up and down the living room.

_*random Spanish dialogue returns*_

"Great...I hate when they play informercials," Tai whined. "It's even worse when it's in Spanish."

"But that looks so cool! I have no idea what it is, but I want it!" Davis said.

"Me too," Matt nodded.

"Look, this is pointless. You're the last one standing, so just show yourself!" Lily yelled.

"How do I know this isn't a trap?"

"Moron," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Come on. We just want to finish the challenge! Do you want to be like Henry and get eliminated for taking too long?" Matt said.

"I guess you got a point...," Kazu peeked his head out and counted everyone. "So it's not a trap. All of you guys are here..."

*SPLAT!*

"Oooomf!" Kazu got the wind knocked out of him.

"Hah hah!" Gennai laughed.

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Since Kazu ended up getting immunity...," Gennai sighed.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," Kazu said.

"Whatever. So because we can't kick him out this time, we had to settle for the bottom two people who we'd rather have stayed than Kazu," Gennai droned.

"You guys don't like me?" Kazu gasped.

"Let's just get to the elimination. Zoe, Davis. You're both at risk for getting sent to the Loser Cruiser, but only one of you will be lucky enough to survive another round of the competition," Gennai said.

"Please be Zoe, please be Zoe...," Kari crossed her fingers.

"And the loser is...," Gennai smirked.


	24. How To Train a Digimon Tamer

**Recap: **Last week on Total Drama Island, Lily and Gennai took the contestants to the Gigahouse, where they played a big-time fun game of Hide and Seek. The kids frantically tried to find a place to hide, especially Matt. In a clever attempt to not be found, Davis hid in a pile of dirty socks, but Gennai instantly found him. Sure, finding Davis was easy, but trying to catch him was hard! Luckily for Lily and Gennai, they easily were able to find nearly everyone else. While Davis was trying to run away from Gennai's (and Tai's and Marcus's wrath), Kazu was enraptured by the drama on a Spanish telenovela. To everyone's dismay, Kazu was the last one to find, hence earning immunity for this round of elimination. It's now down to the bottom two: Davis vs. Zoe. Will they vote Zoe out because they finally have an excuse to? Or will they eliminate Davis because he's a dumbass? Find out in this gripping episode of TDI File Island!

* * *

_Campfire Ceremonies..._

"Since Kazu ended up getting immunity...," Gennai sighed.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," Kazu said.

"Whatever. So because we can't kick him out this time, we had to settle for the bottom two people who we'd rather have stayed than Kazu," Gennai droned.

"You guys don't like me?" Kazu gasped.

"Let's just get to the elimination. Zoe, Davis. You're both at risk for getting sent to the Loser Cruiser, but only one of you will be lucky enough to survive another round of the competition," Gennai said.

"Please be Zoe, please be Zoe...," Kari crossed her fingers.

"And the loser is...," Gennai smirked. He took an exacto knife and slowly opened the envelope. "I got to be careful here. I don't want to rip the card up."

"The suspense is killing me!" Davis whimpered.

Zoe had an expressionless look on her face but the rest of her body was slightly trembling.

"And the loser is-oh crap! I dropped the card!" Gennai crawled down to the floor and tried to find the result card. "I can't find it anywhere!"

"That's because I have it. Davis, go home!" Marcus said.

"Hey! I was supposed to tell you guys, not Marcus!" Gennai yelled.

"You were taking too long," Tai said.

"What? Let me see that card! You probably only said that because you're upset that Davis showed your hiding spot!" Kari protested.

"That's _why_ we all voted against him," Matt looked at Kari like she was stupid.

"Here, look for yourself," Marcus handed Kari the card.

"I can't believe it...," Davis's eyes began to water.

"It's right there in writing, gogglehead," Rika said.

"So in the wise words of Marcus, go home!" Kazu said.

"Kari?" Davis went up to her.

"Yeah?" Kari looked up at him.

"Can I get one last kiss before I go?" Davis pouted.

"Here's a kiss for the road," she handed him a Hershey's kiss.

"That's not the kind of kiss I meant, but thanks Kari. Everyone else, except for Zoe, go to hell!" Davis said.

"Why not Zoe?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"Because I know she didn't waste her vote on me. She probably voted against Kari again," Davis said.

"Yeah, I did," Zoe flashed everyone a warm smile.

"Just remember, only one of you guys are gonna win! I'll see most of you soon!" Davis said before we walked away.

* * *

**Lily's Contribution Corner: This episode is brought to you in part by:**

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* * *

**How To Train a Digimon Tamer**

"Come on Rika! You and me, let's play!" Kazu held his fists up in front of him.

"You know you're gonna lose again. It gets pretty boring after a while," Rika scoffed.

"Come on! Loser gets the Tai card," Kazu sang.

"Seriously?" Tai pouted. "Does anybody love me?"

"There's your mom," Matt smirked.

"Hi honey! I love you!" Mrs. Kamiya waved to Tai.

"Hi Mom, I love you too," Tai droned.

"Go bug Marcus. I gave him a starter kit and a couple of booster packs," Rika shooed Kazu away.

"But he punches me when I win," Kazu whined.

"Tell it to someone who cares," Rika yawned.

"Fine," Kazu pouted and stomped away.

"I still don't understand why I can't have my own card! TK has his own and let's face it, I'm way more sexier than he is," Davis huffed.

"Because there are only cards for the Original Digidestined," Zoe said. "What part of Original Digidestined do you not understand?"

"It's not like you're an Original Digidestined yourself, so you have no room to speak," Kari quipped.

"What?! How did you get a Kazemon card?! That's one of the rarest cards ever!" Kazu gasped.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I feel like a freak for saying this, but she's pretty hot for a digimon," Marcus held up his Kazemon card.

* * *

"Did you say Kazemon? As in the Legendary Warrior of Wind?" Zoe perked up.

"Yeah, why?" Marcus looked up from his deck of cards.

"Well, you're looking at the one and only Kazemon!" Zoe puffed her chest out.

"Ooooh, so cool," Kari said with no enthusiasm.

"So you're saying that you're the Legendary Warrior of Wind?" Marcus gave her a strange look.

"Yeah," Zoe grinned.

"Prove it," Kazu said.

"After you prove to me you're a real Digimon Tamer," Zoe crossed her arms.

"Uh...well, I can't," Kazu blushed.

"And why not?" Zoe raised an eyebrow at him.

"Because we're all separated from our Digimon partners, and the point of this competition is so the winner gets to reunite with their digimon," Kazu sighed.

"Precisely," Zoe said triumphantly.

"More like non-precisely," Gennai stood behind her.

"Huh?!" Zoe gasped.

"What a surprise. Zoe's wrong again," Kari giggled.

"I thought the winner was the only one to see their digimon partner again? How is that possible that we're all gonna see our digimon again?" Izzy asked.

"Because you'll be able to meet up with them today!" Gennai grinned.

"Really? I'm so excited!" Davis clapped his hands.

"No, you're not going to see Veemon again, because you lost the last challenge," Gennai jeered.

"Then why is he still here?" Rika made a face.

"Actually, I have no idea. I would ask Lily, but I can't find her, which means that I'll have to supervise this challenge all by myself," Gennai grumbled.

"You've done it before! It's not like you can't handle it," Tai said.

"I know. It's just that it's a lot of work I just want to be lazy. I guess we should just get on with this next challenge. Just follow me," Gennai rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Whoa, what is this place?" Matt looked terrified at the colorful building in front of him.

"Is this Sea World?" Kazu clasped his hands together in excitement.

"That would explain that stupid-looking seal above the door," Rika snorted.

"Well, I think it's beautiful! It looks like a merry-go-round," Tai put his hands on his hips.

"Really? You must be on crack," Marcus stuck his tongue out at the ugly building.

"Hey hey hey! Try not to diss this building too much because Lily was nice enough to let us use this gym," Gennai sighed.

"Lily, the executive producer of the show?" Davis asked.

"No, it's a different Lily. Wait! Since you lost the game, you are no longer allowed to speak!" Gennai stomped his foot.

"But why? That doesn't make sen-," Davis exclaimed.

"Shh, shh, shh, zippa da lip!" Gennai moved his hand sideways in front of his mouth.

"But-!"

"Tsk! What did I just say?" Gennai wagged his finger in Davis's face.

"Hmph," Davis pouted.

"Now where was I? Oh! So like I was saying, non-executive producer Lily let us hold our next challenge at this gym," Gennai lead the kids inside a hallway.

"This is a gym? Looks more like an aquarium to me," Izzy tapped on the glass tanks.

"Don't! Do you see that sign over there?!" Gennai pulled Izzy's shoulder back and pointed to a sign that read "_Do Not Tap On Glass_".

"Hah hah! Izzy for yelled at!" Kazu teased.

"There's plenty of I scream for you too!" Gennai yelled at Kazu.

"Ice cream?" Kazu perked up.

"How you made it this far never ceases to amaze me," Rika groaned.

"Look! Just try not to destroy this place that much! It's already crazy enough that a Pokemon trainer let us use the gym for the day, the last thing I need is to have you guys interrupting me after every sentence!" Gennai snapped.

"Wait, non-executive producer Lily's a Pokemon trainer?" Kari asked. "So she trains Pokemon here?"

"Yes. She's what we would call a humanitarian, except she helps out the digimon with special needs, aka Pokemon," Gennai said.

"So that makes her a digimonitarian," Davis said.

"Yep," Gennai nodded. "Hey! Didn't I just tell you to keep your trap shut?!"

"Sorry!" Davis covered his mouth with his hands.

"So because she's like a hero in this part of Server Continent, I'm just asking you to be respectful and stop criticizing her gym," Gennai huffed. "Now let's get inside the main arena."

"Whoa! Where's the arena? That pool takes up the whole floor," Tai said.

"Do you like?" the room started to shake and a platform popped out from the middle of the giant pool. A girl with pink hair jumped off the platform and swam to the edge of the pool. "Hi everyone! Pleased to meet you! My name's Lily, co-gym leader of the famous Cerulean Gym!"

"Co-gym leader?" Zoe asked.

"Long story," Gym Leader Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyways, Gennai and the executive producer told me that they wanted to host a battle tournament here, and I just couldn't say no!"

"Battle tournament?" Izzy cocked his head to the side.

"Yes! You will be partnered up with your digimon, who will train you in a fighting style of your choice. After that, Gennai will split you into two divisions: the Red Division and the Blue Division. From there, you will duel against each other until there is a winner from the Red Division and a winner from the Blue Division. In the final round, the top fighters will duke it out. The winner of the final round will not only be safe from tonight's elimination, but they'll also win this cool Cascade badge as a symbol of their glory!" Gym Leader Lily held up a tiny raindrop-shaped jewel.

"Oooh, pretty!" Kazu drooled.

"So what happens to the losers?" Davis asked.

"What did I tell you about-," Gennai opened his mouth.

"Thanks for reminding me! We're also going to throw a Loser's Cup!" Gym Leader Lily cut him off.

"Is it me, or does it seem like everyone who has the name Lily is an obnoxious interrupter?" Gennai mumbled.

"The two worst-performing contestants of the night will fight against each other and the contestant who loses that match wins the Loser Cup! Oh, and to top it off, the ultimate loser also wins a trip back home, courtesy of the Loser Cruiser! Isn't that ironic? A loser who wins something?" Gym Leader Lily giggled.

"What about our digimon partners?" Marcus asked.

"That's right! You cant forget about those guys!" Gym Leader Lily played with a whistle that was hanging from her lanyard. "Digimon! Assemble!"

"Yes, miss, yes!" a Gaomon entered the arena and gestured various digimon inside.

"Gatomon!" Kari ran over to her digimon.

"Get away from me!" Gatomon scratched her in the face.

"Owww! What was that for?" Kari grabbed on to her face.

"Oops, I forgot to mention! These digimon are not the same digimon you've spent time with, but they are the same species!" Gym Leader Lily said.

"So you're saying these guys only look like our digimon?" Izzy asked.

"Pretty much!" Gym Leader Lily stood on one foot. "Don't worry though, these digimon are going to help train you for battle!"

"They're gonna train us?" Rika's jaw dropped. "I don't think that's how it works. I'm a digimon tamer!"

"So now the roles are going to be reversed!" Lily smiled.

"I'm not liking this already," Rika clenched her fists.

"Just think of it as stepping into your digimon's shoes!" Lily cheerfully said. "It's so common to have a human tame a digimon, but when has a digimon tamed a tamer? Don't worry about it though! If you're a good tamer, then your digimon will be one too!"

"But these aren't our digimon," Matt stared at a sluggish-looking Gabumon.

"And what about me? I am a digimon, so does that mean I have to go through training?" Zoe raised her hand.

"Oh! That's right! Since you don't have a digimon because you kinda are a digimon, I brought you...," Lily pointed at the door.

"_You dimwit_!"

_*snap!*_

"_OWWWIE_!"

"Please don't tell me...," Zoe groaned.

"Hello Zoe!" Bokomon trudged up to her, with his hands down his pants.

**Note from Bokomon: _Those are not my pants! That is my body warmer!_**

Yeah. Whatever.

"Didja miss us?" Neemon held up his red pants and ran over to Zoe.

"Not in this particular moment. Please don't tell me that you two be training me," Zoe moaned.

"That's a preposterous idea! I don't know what Neemon will be doing, but _I_ will be training you," Bokomon took his hands out of his pants-

**Note from Bokomon:_ It's a body warmer, you twit!_**

Okay. Whatever. You took your hands out of the 'body warmer'...happy now?

**Note from Bokomon: _Yes. Now carry on!_**

Thank you.

"This is great," Zoe slid her hand down her face.

"Time to get training!" Gym Leader Lily clapped her hands.

* * *

_Training Time..._

"Boss, are you ready to train?" Agumon said to Tai.

"_Boss_? What's the big idea here? _I'm_ your boss!" Marcus crossed his arms.

"Noooo..._he's_ my boss," Agumon pointed to Tai.

"No,_ I'm_ your boss!" Marcus yelled.

"Hey hey hey! Let's save our energy for the tournament!" another Agumon held Marcus back.

"Yeah, Agumon's right!" Tai smirked.

"Come on! Just let me pound him!" Marcus tried to free himself from Agumon's grip.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," Agumon said, pulling Marcus farther away from Tai.

"Why not? Just one little punch!" Marcus grunted.

"No! You need to keep your anger in control!" Agumon struggled to keep Marcus away from Tai.

"Come on, boss! Let's leave those two alone," Agumon said to Tai.

"Okay my loyal subordinate! Let your boss, which is me, show you how to win like a boss!" Tai stuck his tongue out at Marcus.

"Lemme at him!" Marcus yelled.

"Calm down! You're not going to win if you're gonna get worked up over him!" Agumon yanked him back.

"I'll show him! I'll kick his ass so hard, my foot would be coming out of his mouth!" Marcus kicked and bucked.

"That's the spirit!" Agumon said as he dragged Marcus to a corner. "Now let's turn that rage into some positive energy! What are you good at?"

"Beating people up!" Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"Okay...that's a start. I guess," Agumon slowly nodded.

* * *

"I would apologize, but you provoked me," Gatomon licked her paw.

"How did I provoke you?" Kari dabbed herself with antiseptic.

"I really don't want to waste my time explaining anything to you," Gatomon went on all fours and walked away from Kari.

"Hey! Aren't you going to train me?" Kari yelled.

"Yeah," Gatomon huffed. "I'll do anything to win, even if that means putting up with the likes of you."

"You should have been partners with Zoe. You guys act so much alike," Kari frowned.

"I wanted to, but the gym girl paired me up with you," Gatomon narrowed her eyes. "Here," Gatomon hurled a long, thin metal pole at Kari.

"Ahhh!" Kari ducked just in time. "What was that for?!"

"Stop being a scaredy cat," Gatomon snapped.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"For a cat, she sure acts like a female canine," Kari frowned.

"Female canine? Seriously? Don't act so innocent. You've said that word before. You act like it's too hard to say. I heard you call Zoe a bitch numerous times, so what's stopping you from saying bitch this time around?" Koji asked.

"Koji? What are you doing here? Where's the cameraman?" Kari tilted her head to the side.

"Do I have to keep explaining this story to everyone? Basically, the cameraman jipped me from a Big Mac and that's why I'm here filming your boring ass Camera Confessions, which are pretty boring by the way," Koji huffed.

"Thanks...," Kari frowned.

"No problem. Just giving you some constructive criticism," Koji gave Kari a thumbs up.

* * *

_"Super Shocker!_" Tentomon snuck up behind Izzy.

"Gah! What was that for?!" Izzy jumped.

"Just wanted to give you a little jolt," Tentomon moved his shoulders up and down.

"Are you trying to be funny?" Izzy gave Tentomon a dirty look.

"I thought it was a good joke. I'm sorry if my comedy's too shocking for you," Tentomon said in a sad tone.

"I wouldn't exactly call that comedy," Izzy said.

"Can you forgive me if I like to put a clever spin on words? I guess only smart people can appreciate my wittiness," Tentomon said.

"Wittiness? More like your shi-,"

"You're not the brightest bulb in the bunch, but there's nothing a little electricity can't fix," Tentomon interrupted.

_*ZAAAP*_

"Owww," Izzy groaned. "I miss my Tentomon."

_*ZAAAP*_

* * *

"I don't exactly think that's how it goes," Guardromon shook his head.

"Why not? I've been practicing it for weeks now!" Kazu picked himself up from the ground.

"How about you stop practicing how to lose?" Guardromon asked. "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to train to win?"

"Not really! I've been practicing how to lose, and look how far that's got me! I'm in the top 8, bitches!" Kazu tilted his visor up.

"_Not...comprehending...system...error_," Guardromon began to shake.

"Guardromon? Are you okay?" Kazu trembled.

_*De-Digivolution*_

_*BOOM!*_

"Ahhh! Guardromon!" Kazu threw himself up on a heap of metal.

"Don't worry about me, I can fix myself up in a snap. Just please stop talking," the heap of metal replied back.

* * *

"Look at these amateurs," Renamon disapprovingly looked at everyone else. "I'm going to be the best tamer in the digital world and I don't need a pathetic human in my way, so you better not disappoint me. Get up. We're going to start training."

"Now those are some words I like to hear," Rika picked herself up from the floor and dusted her hands off.

"You better like every word that comes out of my mouth. I don't want to bother with a likes of a human that proves herself unworthy my time and effort," Renamon said. "Humans are nothing more than game pawns."

"I thought we were supposed to be partners," Rika crossed her arms.

"Who's the tamer here? I am. And as a tamer, I must be able to make sure my human reaches her full potential," Renamon shoved Rika against a wall and held her there.

"You're crushing me," Rika grunted.

"Humans with feelings and emotion are weak and are only destined for failure. If I want to be the best tamer out there, I cannot have a weak human by my side. Do you understand?" Renamon coldly stared into Rika's eyes.

"Completely," Rika said, not breaking eye contact with her.

* * *

"I'm happy to see you guys again, but I don't really need your help for this challenge. I want to win," Zoe said.

"Pish posh! Don't be completely absurd! You're definitely going to win with me by your side!" Bokomon said.

"Hey Bokomon? What's porn?" Neemon asked.

"Where did you come up with a question like that?!" Bokomon gasped.

"I found it in your book," Neemon pulled out a flat black package. "Is it short for popcorn?"

"Give me that!" Bokomon tried to snatch the package from Neemon.

"No! You should learn to share your porn!" Neemon ripped the package open and looked at the cover of the magazine. "Wow! I didn't know you were into this stuff! You look too wimpy to like wrestling!"

"Lalalalalalala!" Zoe clamped her hands over her ears.

"Hand that over to me right now!" Bokomon stomped his foot.

"Wait! I'm on page six, and boy it's getting good!" Neemon flipped through the smut.

"Kill...me...NOW," Zoe pulled her hat down and groaned.

_*clink*_

"Hey, what's this?" Zoe crawled over to a long wooden stick. "Is this God telling me to bash myself over the head with this until I pass out?"

* * *

_*HOOOONK*_

"Okay... Matt. Just... run... three laps... around the... gym," Gabumon wheezed.

"Why do I have to run?" Matt asked.

"I'm... putting you... through my extreme... training... regimen," Gabumon took in deep breaths.

"You made up your own training program?" Matt gave the fat Gabumon a skeptical look.

"Yes...," Gabumon replied. "Now let's... stop... wasting... our breath... and get... moving."

"Funny coming from you," Matt muttered.

"That's fifty... pushups for... you! Now move... it, move...it!" Gabumon said. "After... that...we'll do... some weight... lifting."

"Typical coach. Fat and lazy as all hell, and having the nerve to tell everyone else to exercise," Matt grumbled.

* * *

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Welcome to Cerulean Gym's first annual Digimon Tamer Battle Tournament! Wow, what a mouthful! You try saying that five times quickly," Gym Leader Lily smiled at a camera. "Anyways, eight hopefuls will fight each other until there's one on top and one on bottom!"

"Ha hah ha hah hah!" the audience erupted in laughter.

"What's so funny?" Gym Leader Lily frowned.

"Nothing. Go on!" Gennai wiped years out of his eyes.

"Hmmm," Gym Leader Lily hummed. "So anyways, we have the contestant separated into two divisions! In the east entrance...the Blue Division! There's Tai...Matt...Marcus...and Izzy!" Gym Leader Lily introduced the boys as they walked into the arena.

"Yayyyyy!" the audience cheered.

"And coming from the west entrance, put your hands together for the Red Division! Kari...Kazu...Rika...and Zoe!"

"Yayyyyy!" the audience roared.

"These contestants have been preparing themselves for one hell of a fighting match! They've spent hours training and perfecting their combat skills with the most random digimon ever! And now, it is time for them to prove to everyone who the ultimate champion...and the ultimate chump, is!" Gym Leader Lily boomed.

"Can they just fight already?" Gennai grumbled.

"Yeah!" Gym Leader Lily nodded.

"Finally! Let's get ready to ruuuumbleeeee!" Gennai pounded a bell.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Who wants to fight first?" Gym Leader Lily asked.

"I do!" Marcus cracked his knuckles

"That's lovely! It's you versus Tai!" Gym Leader Lily pointed to a bracket board. "The winner of this match will be one step closer to being the Blue Division leader!"

"Heh heh," Marcus slammed his fist against his palm.

"Yeah, go ahead and laugh because when I'm done with you, the next time you'll be laughing at is how ticklish you'll feel after an ugly nurse gives you a sponge bath!" Tai yelled.

"What?!" Marcus spazzed.

"Alright boys, time to get strapped up," Gennai ushered Tai to a contraption with belts hanging from it.

"Strapped?! What do you mean strapped?" Marcus gasped.

"I forgot to mention-," Gennai said.

"You forget to mention a lot of things," Tai gritted his teeth.

"Yeah, I left out one tiny detail...," Gennai played with his hair.

"Which is?" Marcus crossed his arms.

"You see...," Gennai dragged on.

"No, I don't see, but if you don't hurry up, you'll see stars!" Marcus yelled.

"Okay! So you know how the digimon trained you? They will also be controlling your every movement in the ring!" Gennai said.

"WHAT?! Then what was the point of us training if they're basically going to do all the work for us?" Matt's jaw dropped.

"It was all just an exercise to make you and your digimon in-sync with each other. I think it's important for humans and digimon to be able to understand each other," Gym Leader Lily said in a soothing tone. "To the sides of the boxing ring, there will be joysticks, which your digimon partners will use. The joystick is used to move you in whichever direction they desire. The buttons to the sides control which attacks you'll be doing."

"So we're basically like little marionette puppets?" Izzy frowned.

"That's all humans are. Nothing but toys," Renemon bumped Izzy and walked toward Rika.

"Now now, Renemon!" Gym Leader Lily wagged her finger at Renemon.

"Do we have to do this?" Zoe whined.

"Whatever. You guys never like these challenges anyways, so stop complaining and buckle up," Gennai clipped all the belts on Marcus.

"Are we ready for the first part of the tournament?" Gym Leader Lily cheered.

"YEEEEAAAHHH!" the audience screamed.

"NOOOOOO!" the contestants yelled.

* * *

**First Round: _Marcus vs. Tai!_**

"You can do this," Agumon rubbed Marcus's shoulders. "Just don't think too much about kicking his ass. We don't want any dead people in the first fight!"

"I can't guarantee much," Marcus put his mouthguard in.

"Look at that smug bastard...," Tai squinted his eyes at Marcus.

"Don't worry boss! I know you can take him!" Agumon said.

"Are you guys ready?" Gym Leader Lily asked.

"Yep," the Agumons said in unison.

"Okay! So in the left corner is...Tai, who will be using the art of kickboxing!" Gennai read from an index card. "And in the other corner...Marcus, who will stick to plain old boxing!"

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"I'm so gonna kick your ass!" Marcus said.

"Then do it! Come at me bro!" Tai taunted.

"Gahhh! What the hell, Agumon?" Marcus involuntarily swung a punch at Tai and missed.

"Sorry," Agumon cringed.

"Whoopa!" Tai roundhouse kicked Marcus in the face.

"Yeah!" Agumon cheered.

"You did not just kick my face!" Marcus screamed.

"Maybe I did," Tai smirked as he punched Marcus in the head.

"AGUMON! DO SOMETHING!" Marcus growled.

"I'm trying my best!" Agumon hyperventilated.

"I put the kick in kickboxing!" Tai said as his Agumon controlled him to kick Marcus in the crotch.

"HEY!" Marcus's face began to turn red with anger.

"Hey is for horses!" Tai laughed as he kept kicking at Marcus.

"Hah hah!" Agumon laughed.

"That's...it. You messed with the wrong guy," Marcus growled.

"Marcus? What's going on?" Agumon nervously pounded away at his game console.

"Oh no! He's glowing!" Gym Leader Lily covered her face.

"What's so bad about that?" Kari asked.

"AAARRRGGGGHHH!" Marcus screamed.

_*DNA Charge: Burst Mode*_

"Marcus Damon dark digivolve to...MegaAngry Marcus Damon!" Marcus grew bigger and broke off the restraining belts.

"AHHHH! This isn't supposed to happen!" Agumon whimpered.

"You're gonna get it now!" Marcus picked Tai up.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"What gives? We haven't even started fighting yet!" Marcus yelled.

"The judges decided that Marcus Damon wins this battle," a Kudomon spoke into a mircphone.

"Why him?" Tai protested.

"He hit Burst Mode...he could have killed you," Kudomon said. "You would have lost either way, but we decided to go the less painful route."

"Too late!" Tai yelled. Marcus punched him so hard, Tai flew across the arena.

"Next up!" Gennai said.

* * *

**First Round: _Matt vs. Izzy!_**

"Great. Now I'm... starting... to sound... like... you," Matt wheezed.

"Good...," Gabumon took out an inhaler.

"Maybe I electrocuted you a little too much," Tentomon flew by Izzy's side.

"You think?" Izzy avoided Tentomon's gaze.

"Yeah. Your hair's sticking up all over the place. Talk about static electricity!" Tentomon flew above Izzy's head.

"All of these electricity puns are enough to make a person go Amish," Izzy muttered.

"How could you say a thing like that?" Tentomon gasped. "Oh well. I know as well as you that you couldn't survive a minute without electricity! How are you going to power your laptop, smart boy?"

"Wind power," Izzy said.

"What if there's no wind?" Tentomon smugly asked.

"There's always solar power," Izzy retorted.

"And what if there's no sun?" Tentomon asked.

"It's scientifically impossible for the sun to disappear. Even at night, the sun is still up, it just happens to be on the other side of the globe," Izzy said.

"You think you have all the answers, don't you?" Tentomon picked Izzy up and tied him up with the belts.

"Drink up," Gabumon handed Matt a Thermos.

"What's inside?" Matt peered inside the Thermos.

"It's... a blue... berry protein... shake. It's good... for... you," Gabumon said.

"Thanks?" Matt pretended to drink from the Thermos.

_*Ding ding ding*_

"Now we're at the second match of the night! It's brain versus brawn this round!" Gym Leader Lily announced.

"Miss? Quick question! If Matt's both the brains and the brawn, then what does that make Izzy?" Tentomon asked.

"Hey!" Izzy yelled.

"Shut up, midget!" Tentomon snapped.

"I am NOT a midget! I'm only two inches shorter than the average male my age," Izzy protested.

_*Buzzzzzzz!*_

"Silence!" Tentomon shocked Izzy.

"Gahhhahahhah!" Izzy involuntarily cringed.

"I see you've trained Izzy in Karate," Gennai nodded at Tentomon.

"What?" Izzy spazzed.

"Why yes...yes I have," Tentomon shocked Izzy again.

"And Matt? Which fighting style will you be using?" Gym Leader Lily asked.

"Lucha... Libre!" Gabumon pulled a skin-tight mask down over Matt's head.

"What?!" Matt jumped back.

"You... can do... this! I didn't... make that... protein... shake for... fun," Gabumon said in between deep breaths.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Let's get ready to ruuuuumbleeeee!" Gennai roared.

"You're so going down!" Tentomon let out a sinister laugh.

"You're... on!" Gabumon said.

"I was talking to Izzy!" Tentomon shocked Izzy again.

"Gahahhahahahahah!" Izzy jumped all over the ring.

"Swing... dodge... dodge... swing... punch!" Gabumon pressed random buttons on his game console.

"Whoooooaaaa!" Matt yelled as he moved in various directions.

"Mwah hah hah hah ha!" Tentomon laughed as he tortured Izzy with his electric shocks.

"I think you're missing the point of the game," Izzy screamed in pain. "You're supposed to-"

_*SLAM!*_ Matt punched Izzy hard in the face.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Match over! Matt wins this round!" Gym Leader Lily screamed into her microphone.

"Yaaaaayyyyy! He's cute!" the audience cheered.

"Want some fries with that shake?" Tentomon kept shocking Izzy.

* * *

**First Round: _Kari vs. Zoe!_**

"GO KARI!" Davis hollered.

"What did I just tell you?! You're not allowed to talk!" Gennai smacked Davis on the back of his head.

"Ow...," Davis moaned.

"In that corner, Kari Kamiya is ready to battle with her fencing sword!" Gym Leader Lily announced. "And in the other corner, Zoe Orimoto holds on tightly to her kendo stick!"

"Are you guys ready to fight?" Gym Leader Lily asked.

"I was born ready," Zoe used her wooden pole as a support.

"So am I," Kari smiled.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Go!"

"I want to press the buttons!" Neemon whined.

"No! Go away!" Bokomon pushed Neemon off.

"This is purrfect. We'll beat those idiots in no time," Gatomon said as she strategically moved the joystick around.

"Whhoooaaaa! Guys? Can you at least peacefully share the joystick?" Zoe was being dragged in all different directions, violently swinging her wooden pole.

"Never!" Neemon pulled the joystick from Bokomon's hands.

"Ahhhhh!" Zoe was pulled to one side of the ring.

"Attack!" Gatomon pressed a button which made Kari swing her sword at Zoe.

"Ha!" Kari smiled in triumph.

"Bokomon! Neemon! What are you doing?" Zoe wailed.

"Gimme!"

"No!"

"You're a non-sharer!"

"Be quiet!"

"No! You're a bossypants!"

"And you're a silly willy!"

"Guys?" Zoe whimpered.

"Got you!" Kari knocked Zoe's pole out of her hands and hit her on the side.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"And we have a winner! Put your hands together for Kari!" Gym Leader Lily yelled.

"THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"Davis! I will cut your vocal chords out!" Gennai threatened.

"Ha! I win again. Like always," Kari smirked as she kicked Zoe's kendo stick off the ring.

"It's all your fault!" Bokomon snapped the waistband of Neemon's pants.

"Owwie!" Neemon cried.

"I hate you guys," Zoe sighed.

* * *

**First Round: _Rika vs. Kazu!_**

"I can already taste it," Kazu grinned.

"Taste what? The blood that'll be in your mouth after I punch your teeth out?" Rika said.

"No! More like the salsa that's too hot for you to handle!" Kazu did a little step dance.

"Please don't tell me...," Gennai heaved.

"What? That Kazu's going to fight Rika by doing salsa?" Gym Leader Lily asked.

"You're kidding," Rika raised an eyebrow.

"Nope," Kazu crossed his arms.

"I can already see how this'll turn out," Renamon let out a small scoff.

"And in the other corner, Rika will be defending herself with the Digimon Card Slash method!" Gym Leader Lily boomed.

"Aww, how cute. Nice to see that Rika likes to apply a children's game to a serious battle," Kazu jeered.

"Coming from the guy with his bad dance moves," Rika scoffed.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Hey mambo, mambo Italiano!" Kazu sang as his feet frantically stomped on the ring.

"Just want to let you all know that I'm scrap metal, so Kazu's all on his own," Guardromon said.

"I thought you were going to fix yourself up," Kazu whined.

"Yeah, when you leave," Guardromon said.

"You better not fail me, Rika," Renemon swiped a card into her game console.

_*Speed Activate* _Rika charged full speed at Kazu and knocked him to the floor, but Kazu immediately bounced back up and tripped Rika.

"You idiot!" Renemon growled.

"It's hard for me to do my best when you're controlling my every movement," Rika snapped.

"Since you can't even pick yourself up from the ground," Renamon snarled.

_*Hyper Wing Activate*_

"Whoa!" Rika spun around in the air.

"Go, hit me! I dare you!" Kazu stuck his tongue at Rika.

_*Thor's Hammer Activate*_ A huge hammer appeared in Rika's hand.

"AAAHHHHH!" Kazu let out a girly shriek. "I was just joking!"

_*swing*_ Rika tried to hit Kazu, but he danced out of the way.

"Dammit Rika!" Renamon growled.

_*Twin Sickles Activate*_ Rika's arms transformed into two swords.

"Attack!" Renamon pressed a button on her game controller.

"You don't have to tell me that!" Rika smirked.

_*Speed Activate*_

_*Energy Activate*_

_*Strength Activate*_ Renamon swiped several cards at a time.

_*slice!*_

"Gahhh! My visor!" Kazu gasped.

"He's screaming about his visor? I'd be more concerned about the gash on his right leg," Gennai muttered.

"Match over! Rika wins!" Gym Leader Lily said into her microphone.

"Ungh," Rika dropped to her knees.

"Weak," Renamon shook her head in disappointment.

_*Stamina Activate*_

* * *

**Second Round: _Marcus vs. Matt!_**

"Who do you have your money on?" Gennai nudged Gym Leader Lily.

"Sorry, but the beautiful executive producer told me not to gamble with you. In fact, she said that you're not allowed to gamble at all," Gym Leader Lily shook her head.

"I hate Lily," Gennai frowned.

"Marcus versus Matt...both boys prove themselves to be good fighters, but only one of them will advance toward the final match!" Gym Leader Lily announced. "So let's get started!"

"It's fightin' time!" Marcus pounded his fists together.

"Hell... yeah mother...fuc-," Matt hiccuped.

"Funny. This... feels... heavy," Gabumon shook the Thermos.

"Look over... there," Matt pointed to a random spot.

"What is... it?" Gabumon slowly turned his head to see what Matt was pointing at.

_*smack*_ Matt slapped the Thermos from Gabumon's hand.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Arrrggghhh!" Marcus charged toward Matt.

"Huhwoah!" Matt swiftly moved to the side.

"Too much power, not enough agility!" Agumon pulled on the joystick to pull Marcus back.

"Lucha...dor...eh," Gabumon pressed several buttons, which made Matt jump on the ring ropes.

"What the-?" Marcus staggered to the middle of the ring.

"Marcus! Conserve your energy!" Agumon yelled.

"What are you trying to say?" Marcus tried to hit Matt, but missed him.

"Huh-yaaaahhhhh!" Matt flew up in the air and fell on top of Marcus.

"Oomph!" Marcus flopped to the floor, with Matt on top of him.

"1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! KO!" Gennai jumped onto the stage and pulled Matt's arm up. "Matt wins!"

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Whoop whoop!" Matt pulled his face mask off and twirled it in the air.

"What?!" Marcus got up and sent Matt flying backwards.

"Sorry, but you were out for ten seconds," Gym Leader Lily frowned.

"How?!" Marcus shrieked.

"That Burst Mode must have drained you out," Agumon said.

"Shut up!" Marcus yelled.

* * *

**Second Round: _Rika vs. Kari!_**

"Oooh, who doesn't like a chick fight?" Gennai cackled.

"Especially when my girl's looking fine in those shorts!"

"Dammit Davis! I had enough of your mouth!" Gennai pulled out a plastic knife.

"AHHHH! I'll be quiet!" Davis covered his mouth.

"Kick her ass, Rika!" Zoe yelled.

_*Pfffft* _Kari turned around and blew Zoe a raspberry.

"Grrrrrr," Zoe fumed. "Annihilate that bitch!"

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"Showtime!" Gatomon smirked. Kari swung her fencing sword at Rika.

_*Hyper Wing Activate*_ Renamon swiped a card just in time for Rika to dodge Kari's attack.

"I see someone's too scared to fight on the ground," Kari frowned.

"That's it!" Renamon flipped through several cards until she found one she was satisfied with.

_*Digmon's Drill Activate*_ Rika's hands turned into drills.

"Ahhhh!" Kari screamed.

"You better run!" Rika lunged toward Kari, but missed and her drills got stuck to the floor.

"More like you better run...too bad you can't!" Kari twirled her sword like a baton and struck Rika in the head.

"Completely useless," Renamon scoffed. She swiped another card into the game console.

_*Program Pause Activate*_ The drills disappeared from Rika's hands and Rika stood up on the floor.

_*Stamina Activate*_

_*Brave Shield Activate*_

"Who thought of the day that Rika would need a shield?" Kari mocked sadness.

"That snotty brat's going to get what's coming to her," Renemon chuckled.

_*Training Grip Activates*_

"What's going on?" Gatomon scrunched up her face.

"Owww!" Kari yelled. Two heavy training weights were tied up to her arms, and weighed her down.

_*Hyper Chip Activate*_

_*Twin Sickles Activate*_

_*Hypersonic Activate*_

_*Targeting Activate*_ Rika's arms turned back into blades, and she viciously ran toward Kari.

"AHHHHH!" Kari tried to move, but couldn't budge.

_*Slice slice!*_

"Hmph," Rika looked at Kari with contempt.

_*Ding ding ding!*_ "And Rika wins!"

"GO RIKA!" Zoe cheered.

* * *

**Final Round: _Matt vs. Rika!_**

"Last fight for the championship! We're only a couple of moments away from the winner of the tournament! It's down to Rika the Card Slasher and Matt the Luchadore!" Gym Leader Lily boomed.

"I know! I'm soooo excited!" Gennai squealed like a girl.

"Let's... make this... count," Gabumon wheezed.

"Roger...," Matt pulled his mask back over his face and did a couple of stretches.

"Rika," Renamon said.

"Don't screw this up for me," Rika smirked. "Just remember, I can only do as good as you let me be."

"Hmph," Renamon walked away from Rika.

After the kids were strapped up, Gennai struck the bell.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

"It's a good... thing you... drank... my... concoction...," Gabumon said. "It'll... give you... enough... endurance to... last... this final... round."

"Right...," Matt had a guilty look on his face.

_*Stamina Activate*_

"Brace your... self," Gabumon said to Matt before he started pounding away at his game console.

"Whoaaaa! I'm... exhausted!" Matt tried to catch his breath. He jumped at the corner pole of the wrestling ring and wobbled there.

"Rika," Renamon said.

_*LadyDevimon Darkness Wave Activate*_

"Oh crap!" Matt leaped out of the way and plopped back into the ring, feet first. "Good...one... Gabumon!"

"No... problem," Gabumon pulled out an inhaler.

_*MetalGarurumon Blaster Activate*_

"AHHH!" Matt threw himself down on the floor to dodge Rika's attack.

"This could turn out either way! Rika can throw fierce attacks, but Matt's got a good defense," Gym Leader Lily noted.

"But you can't run away forever," Gennai said.

"True," Gym Leader Lily shrugged. "Here's a tip for Matt: You might want to start put your running shoes in the closet and put your fighting shoes on!"

"She's... right," Gabumon said. He moved the joystick around so that Matt advanced toward Rika. "Jump!"

"Whoa!" Matt leaped into the air.

"And drop!" Gabumon pressed a button which caused Matt to start falling above Rika.

_*Speed Activate*_

"That was close," Rika gasped as she quickly moved to the side.

"Time to...get...up," Gabumon said. Matt jerked back up and aimed for Rika.

"Hmm, what's this?" Renamon picked up a card and looked at it. "Might as well use it."

_*Biomerge Activate*_

"What's going on?" Matt trembled as Rika and Renamon started to glow.

_Rika digivole to...Sakuyamon!_

"AHHH! It's ALIVEEEE!" Kazu flinched from the audience.

"Spirit Strike!" Rika and Renamon said in unison.

"Hold...on Matt!" Gabumon screamed.

"Can't... resist," Matt held his hands in front of him, as a form of barrier, but he dropped down to his knees and fell on his back. "Ooomph!"

"Matt!" Gabumon yelled.

"1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! KO!" Gym Leader Lily yelled. "Rika wins the championship!"

"YAAAAAYYYYY!" the whole arena roared.

_*Program Pause Activate*_ Sakuyamon returned back into the form of Rika and Renamon.

"You did it, Rika," Renamon said.

"No. We did it," Rika hugged Renamon's arm.

"...," Renamon stood stiffly. "We did," Renamon awkwardly patted Rika in the head.

"Congrats, Rika! Not only do you win immunity from this week's elimination, you also earned this awesome Cascade Badge!" Gym Leader Lily handed Rika the tiny, blue jewel.

"Thanks," Rika held the jewel in her hand. "Renamon?"

"Yes, Rika?"

"Here. You can have the badge. That way if anyone asks, you can show them how great of a tamer you really are," Rika gave the badge to Renamon.

"Thank you," Renamon took the badge and respectfully nodded at Rika.

"Isn't that nice?" Gym Leader Lily gushed.

"Whatever. Let's just get to the losers," Gennai impatiently tapped his fingers against his arm.

"Oooh! The best part of the night! The Loser Cup!" Gym Leader Lily said. "As the tournament was going on, we asked the audience to do a little survey for us. Out of the four first people to lose, which two were the worst fighters?"

"And the two most popular answers were...Zoe!" Gennai announced.

"I hate you," Zoe growled at Bokomon and Neemon.

"And... Izzy!" Gennai clapped his hands like a seal.

"I hate you," Izzy said to Tentomon.

"I hate you too," Tentomon happily buzzed.

"Oh, the insanity! Izumi versus Izumi! Whichever one loses earns the not-so-coveted Loser Cup, and a one-way ticket home to the Loser Cruiser!" Gym Leader Lily held up a clear party cup that had the words "Loozer Kup" scrawled on it. A piece of construction paper that read "Go Home!" was stuffed inside the cup, and the cup was nailed to a crude piece of wood.

"Nice trophy," Izzy muttered.

"Thanks! I made it myself," Gennai beamed with pride.

"Okay, here goes! First one to fall down is the ultimate loser!" Gym Leader Lily said.

_*Ding ding ding!*_

* * *

**Loser Cup Tournament: _Izzy vs. Zoe!_**

"Do you want Zoe to win or not?" Bokomon scolded Neemon.

"Yes!" Neemon said.

"Then don't touch anything!" Bokomon snapped.

"Okay...," Neemon whined.

"Izzy, don't get too fried out!" Tentomon heckled.

"Shut up," Izzy huffed.

"Just remember, I'm your trainer...," Tentomon sang.

"Ready...set...GO!"

"Huh-yah!" Zoe gracefully sidekicked Izzy.

"Oww! Tentomon! Do something!" Izzy yelled.

"Okay, okay...," Tentomon electrocuted Izzy.

_*BUZZZZZ!*_

"Ahhh!" Zoe stepped back as Izzy erratically jerked his body everywhere.

"Can I just press one button?" Neemon tugged on Bokomon's "body warmer".

"If I let you, will you finally leave me alone?" Bokomon grunted.

"Yes," Neemon bobbed his head up and down.

_*BUUZZZZZZ!*_

"Tentomon! You're supposed to help me win!" Izzy screamed in pain.

"Why? It's not like I have anything to lose if you don't win," Tentomon laughed like a maniac.

"Press button!" Neemon closed his eyes and slammed his fist against a random button.

"Haaaaahhhhheeeeeelppp!" Zoe screeched as her foot pulled her toward Izzy's direction.

_*tap*_ Zoe's foot lightly hit Izzy.

_*BOOM*_ Izzy fell backwards and his head hit the ground hard.

"Ooooh, that musta hurt," Tai winced.

"Yay! And the winner of the Loser Cup is Izzy! Come claim your priz- never mind, I'll just come to you," Gym Leader Lily hopped off from a podium and skipped toward Izzy, Loser Cup in hand.

"Lily! Your hair's sliding off!" Kari pointed at Gym Leader Lily's head.

"What?" Gym Leader Lily turned her head around, and her pink hair fell off.

"Executive Producer Lily?!" everyone shrieked.

"How did you know?" Executive Producer Lily picked up her pink wig and blushed.

"Wait...if you're the executive producer, where's the Cerulean Gym Leader Lily?" a Biyomon asked.

"Uh...," Lily nervously looked around.

_*Bang bang bang*_

"HELP US!"

"Where's that coming from?" Gennai looked spooked.

"HELP! WE'RE LOCKED IN THE CLOSET!"

"Did you hear that?" Matt asked.

"No! You didn't hear anything! It's all a figment of your imagination!" Lily panicked.

"But I think we all heard it," Tai said.

"SOMEONE COME QUICKLY! IT'S GETTING HARD TO BREATHE!"

"Oh my gosh! We have to find them!" Kari yelled.

"We're coming!" Tai said loudly.

"Move out of the way!" Marcus warned everyone. "ARRRRRGGGHHHHH!" he charged toward a steel door and busted it open.

"Oh my gosh! You totally saved us!" a girl with pink hair jumped on Marcus and hugged him.

"You are such a hero!" a blonde girl gushed.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" a girl with blue hair said.

"Seriously!" a red-headed girl took a deep breath. "I don't think I could be around my sisters anymore."

"How did you guys get locked up?" Zoe asked.

"We were just doing our normal water-acrobatic training when this deranged, short ginger kidnapped our Lily," the blonde girl hugged the pink-haired girl.

"Izzy! How dare you kidnap these sweet girls?" Executive Producer Lily scolded him.

"What?!" Izzy jumped. "I didn't do anything!"

"No, he didn't. But _she_ did!" the blue-haired girl pointed to Executive Producer Lily.

"Uh oh, gotta go!" Executive Producer Lily dashed out of the arena. "By the way, Izzy! You're double eliminated!"

"For what?!" Izzy spazzed.

"Gennai, take his badge!" Lily screamed as she was chased by the Cerulean Gym Leader sisters.

"You heard her. Gimme," Gennai said.

"Here," Izzy took off his purple badge and handed it to Gennai.

* * *

_Last words..._

"I guess getting eliminated was probably for the best. The whole time I was there, I felt like Gennai and Lily enjoyed picking on me," Izzy said.

"Don't be ridiculous! I was Gennai's toy," Joe said.

"Joe? What are you doing here? Where's the cameraman?" Izzy asked.

"I have no idea. I was walking around, minding my own business, when I bumped into Koji. He told me that he heard the camera cough a little, and that he was getting concerned that it was getting pneumonia so he asked me to give a diagnosis. After I checked it out, I went to give it to Koji but he was gone. I don't know where he ran off to," Joe explained.

"Do you know that cameras can't catch colds?" Davis eyed Joe weirdly.

"He's right. You just got tricked by a jackass in a ponytail," Izzy said.

"Not again...," Joe groaned. "So do one of you guys want to hold the camera?"

"No," Izzy said.

"I'll do it! My fifteen minutes of fame aren't over yet, baby!" Davis grabbed the camera from Joe's hands.

"You are aware that you won't be in front of the camera, don't you?" Izzy raised an eyebrow at Davis.

"Shhh, don't say anything! I don't want to hold that camera anymore! It's heavy!" Joe whispered and tiptoed away.

"So Frizzy! How is it like to be a huge loser?" Davis said happily.

"It kinda feels like," Izzy pulled his arm back and shoved his fist in Davis's direction.

_*static*_


	25. Project Runway

**Recap:** Last week on Total Drama Island, the contestants were brought to the Cerulean Gym, where they would be reunited with their digimon. Of course, in TDI File Loophole style, these digimon were not the same digimon the children have bonded and learned to fight side-by-side with. What? At least they were the same species! Anyway, the contestants go into this next challenge, thinking that they were going to train the digimon to fight against each other. But alas, little did they know that the digimon are the ones who end up taming the tamers! Before the challenge, the digimon train their partners on a martial art of their choice. While some choices were pretty obvious (_*cough cough*_ Marcus _*cough cough*_), other choices were extremely shocking...literally. Rika claimed the title of Digimon Queen once again, and as a reward, earned the Cascade Badge. On the other hand, Izzy got sooo fried in the competition. At least he got an all-expense paid trip back home, courtesy of the Loser Cruiser Ship Resort!

* * *

**Lily's Contribution Corner: **This episode is brought to you by ZeroUnitRGB's Primary Colors Bakery! Come by and be swept away* by the intoxicating smell of deliciousness, from Guilmon Bread to day-old bagels! All of our desserts are so delectably zero calories each, it tastes like a decadent illusion! Catering? Just mention TDI File Island, and you'll get 15% off your order (maximum $15 off per order). Primary Colors Bakery, where the Red, Green, and Blue wins the gold!

_*Now Hiring: Sweepers! Must be bilingual in both broom and Swiffer. Mop skills might also be required._

* * *

**Project Runway**

"So I'm pretty sure you guys have all heard that Lily's kinda, sorta, totally in jail...," Gennai said.

"Lily's in jail?!" everyone shrieked.

"Yeah... I guess the Cerulean Gym sisters didn't appreciate being gagged and locked up in a closet, so Lily will be gone for a while," Gennai said.

"When will she be back?" Kari asked.

"I don't know! The only thing I do know is that she didn't leave behind the rundown for this week's challenge," Gennai pouted.

"So we don't have to do anything for this week? Yayyyy!" Kazu squealed.

"No! Not yay! Since Lily left me hanging, the CEO of the FFNetwork threatened to bite my head off if I didn't come up with a challenge soon enough!" Gennai grumbled.

"So this is the end...," Tai said sadly.

"Awww, I guess we'll never know who the winner is," Kazu sighed.

"Oh yes we will! Everyone knows that it's gonna be me!" Matt winked.

"Hah," Rika snorted.

"The show's not over until the old man says so!" Gennai yelled.

"So what's your plan, old man?" Marcus crossed his arms.

"I was bingeing on reality TV shows last night, when an idea just came to me!" Gennai said.

"Great...don't tell me you're going to rip off of The Bachelor," Zoe groaned.

"No way! That's for another show, which will be starring me and only me...oh, and 12 hot chicks, with only 5 of them being single moms," Gennai said.

"Ew," Marcus made a face.

"You won't be saying eww when your mom's gonna be one of those lucky ladies," Gennai smirked.

"Seriously? Why can't you guys just leave my mom alone? Thomas tries to make moves on her, and now you too?" Marcus groaned. "Are you guys aware of the fact that my mom is happily married...to my dad?!"

"Oooh, playing hard to get. That minx," Gennai grinned.

"How hot is your mom?" Kazu asked.

"Is she a total MILF?" Kari eagerly looked at Marcus.

"What?! Do you guys expect me to come up with an opinion? You guys are sick! Sick!" Marcus turned pale.

"Hello? Can we just talk about the challenge?" Rika huffed.

"Aww, but it's not as fun as talking about MILFs," Gennai frowned.

"Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you," Kazu sang.

"So what reality TV show gave you the inspiration for the next challenge?" Zoe asked.

"Is it The Apprentice?"

"The Voice?"

"The Last Comic Standing?"

"No, no, and god no!" Gennai shook his head.

"Then what is it?" Zoe asked.

"Because I don't want you guys to strain your brain muscles, I'll just tell you. Our next challenge is Project Runway!"

"Project Runway?" Matt asked. "But I don't know how to make clothes..."

"That's why it's called a challenge! If it was easy to do, then we would call it an easy," Gennai snapped.

"Geez," Tai grimaced.

"Now let's get down to business! You guys will make an outfit inspired by your digimon and you get to pick one of the eliminated contestants to model your creation!"

"That sounds easy enough," Zoe shrugged.

"Alas, but it's not! You guys will spend the whole day whipping up your outfits until 7 o'clock tonight," Gennai announced.

"What?! That's in four hours!" Marcus shrieked.

"And I'm pretty sure most of us know how to use a sewing machine, let alone tell the difference between cotton and leather," Kari protested.

"Then I'm surprised you made it this far," Gennai stuck his tongue at her. "Look, our guest judges really don't want to be waiting for you guys, so you better have your outfits done just in time for the fashion show. Your challenge starts...NOW!"

"Where are we supposed to start the challenge?" Tai asked.

"Oh, that's right! You guys gotta work in that warehouse," Gennai pointed to a rusty shack. A piece of tin roof squeaked and fell off. "Hurry along," he motioned the contestants over. "The models are waiting for you!"

"Whoa! I didn't expect to see you guys here!" Tai jumped back in surprise.

"Nice to see you too," Sora said.

"Dibs on Sora!" Matt smirked at Tai.

"No! I want Sora!" Tai said.

"Sorry, but Matt called her first," Gennai said.

"Grrr...," Tai growled.

"TK! Come with me!" Kari pulled TK by the hand and dragged him.

"Henry, I choose you," Rika said.

"Okay," Henry shrugged.

"Hey Taki...you're gonna be my little doll," Kazu smiled evilly.

"Rika? Help me?" Takato yelped.

"Hey Thomas," Marcus bumped fists with Thomas.

"The Ultimate Team is back," Thomas smiled.

"I guess I'll take you," Zoe sighed.

"Hey! You make it sound like you had no choice," Davis whined.

"Well...never mind," Zoe shook her head.

* * *

"Raise your arms to the side," Matt held up a tape measure.

"Like this?" Sora did what Matt said.

"Perfect," Matt smirked as he wrapped the tape around her ribcage.

"Look at that guy, thinking he's so cool with his coolness," Tai grumbled.

"Oww! Watch it!" Joe shrieked.

"My outfit has to be better than Matt's, it just has to!" Tai said.

"Ow! As much as I admire your determination, I would highly appreciate it if you could stop pricking needles into me like a voodoo doll!" Joe shrieked. "You don't even have any fabric to hold up!"

"I have to make something that will be easy to do. Something that's on my level, ya know?" Tai rubbed his chin.

"And how do you plan to do that?" Joe said.

"I don't know. It has to look Agumon-ish though," Tai looked around the warehouse.

"Why are you telling me? Gennai already told us what you guys have to do for this challenge," Joe said.

"I was hoping you could give me some ideas," Tai frowned.

"I'm not exactly a fashion expert, but maybe you should make an outfit that has orange in it," Joe shrugged.

"That's such a great idea! That's why I picked you," Tai poked Joe in the chest.

"This is gonna be one long challenge," Joe sighed. "Ow!"

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I thought that after I got eliminated, I wouldn't be hurt in any more challenges. I was wrong," Joe poked himself in the arm. "I bet Gennai's enjoying this right now."

"I sure am," Gennai sipped away at a Long Island iced tea.

"You're a horrible person," Joe gasped.

"Hah hah!" Gennai let out an obnoxious laugh.

"Hey, hey, hey! I trademarked that laugh!"

"There is no such thing as trademarking a la- Chris McLean?!" Gennai accidentally spilled his drink.

"The one and only!" Chris rested his arm on Gennai's shoulder.

"Am I the only one who doesn't get to be by himself in a camera confession?" Joe sighed.

* * *

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," Kari wrapped her arms around TK's neck.

"It's nice to see you again too," TK gently lifted Kari's arms off of him. "So what digimon are you going to make your outfit on?"

"I was thinking Angewomon," Kari said.

"What?!" TK spazzed.

"Just kidding! I just wanted to see your reaction," Kari giggled.

"You're evil, you know that?" TK chuckled.

"Why couldn't that be me?" Davis whimpered.

"Hey! When I say look straight, you look straight!" Zoe twisted Davis's face so that he faced her.

"I'm just sad," Davis sighed. "Why did she choose TK? I thought she loved me."

"Is someone jealous?" Zoe smirked.

"No. I'm just confused," Davis looked at his feet.

"I can't work like this," Zoe dropped her tape measure to the floor and rubbed her forehead.

"You can't work like what?" Davis picked his head up.

"I can't work with a pathetic, self-pitying model who's too stupid to realize his supposed girlfriend doesn't even care about him," Zoe crossed her arms.

"But I'm your model," Davis said.

"My point precisely," Zoe smirked. "You are the pathetic model."

"I am not!" Davis protested.

"Then why are you so focused on Kari and TK? If you think Kari loves you, then you shouldn't worry about her being with TK. Am I right?" Zoe smirked.

"I'm not worried about her. I just don't trust TK," Davis narrowed his eyes.

"I might not know TK that well, but I don't think he's the kind of guy who would mess around with another friend's girl," Zoe said.

"He's not," Davis sighed.

"Then what's the problem? Why can't you just be a still and quiet mannequin?" Zoe put her hands on her hips.

"I don't know...," Davis said softly.

"Let's just put this to rest. She doesn't care about you, okay?!" Zoe huffed.

"Yes she does," Davis said.

"Are you sure about that?" Zoe said. "If you were super positive, then you wouldn't be so paranoid."

"But you don't understand! Kari is the perfect girl. She's completely out of my league and she still chose to be my girlfriend," Davis said.

"No. I don't understand now, and I probably wouldn't understand that in a million years, even if I lived that long," Zoe laid some fabric on a table. "And she is out of your league. Even you can do better than her."

"No, don't talk about her like that," Davis gasped.

"I'll prove it to you. Just wait till she turns our way."

"What are you gonna do? Whatever you do, please don't kill me," Davis trembled.

"Shh," Zoe put her finger in front of her lips. "Okay, here goes!"

"Zoe? What are you-mmmm," Davis's eyes widened. Zoe pulled his head close and kissed him.

"Look," Zoe subtly pointed at Kari. "I know she saw us."

"It's as if nothing ever happened," Davis's jaw dropped.

"Are you satisfied now? You finally got your answer," Zoe picked up another roll of fabric.

"Yeah, I did," Davis mumbled.

"Now stand up straight. Nobody wants a slouchy model," Zoe said.

"Nobody wants a Davis," Davis frowned.

"That either," Zoe said.

"You're supposed to make me feel good about myself and say stuff like 'Stop being so ridiculous, Davis! Who wouldn't love you?' and stuff like that," Davis sadly said.

"I don't see why I have to. I'm not your mom," Zoe huffed.

* * *

"_Oooh, Henry and Rika sitting in a tree, F-U-C-_"

"Can it, nerdface!" Rika shook her fist at Kazu.

"I was just gonna spell fuchsia," Kazu whined.

"Leave him. He's not worth wasting your time on," Henry said.

"I guess you're right about that," Rika lowered her fist.

"That's cold. I thought we were friends," Kazu whined.

"No, you're Takato's friend. We just try putting up with you for his sake," Henry calmly said.

"Hey! He's just a guy I trade Digimon cards with," Takato said.

"That's really cold," Kazu frowned. "Whatever, I got all your measurements done. You can talk with your cool friends about how you're not friends with me."

"Kazu! I didn't mean it like that," Takato turned red. "You know I'm terrible at phrasing things!"

"Whatever," Kazu picked up his sewing kit.

"I just meant to say that you were annoying," Takato said.

"Oh, aren't you such a nice guy. I guess I'll be alone. It is where I was meant to be," Kazu tucked his fabric under his arms and walked away.

"Good. Glad you understand," Rika held a clothespin in her mouth.

"You deserve it, especially since you voted Kenta off," Henry said.

"Henry! Look at you being mean. I like it," Rika smiled.

"You guys are horrible," Takato said.

"I was just stating the truth. He deserves everything he gets because that's what he gives to other people," Henry crossed his arms. "I call it a taste of his own medicine."

"What is that? Some kind of half-Chinese thing?" Kazu scoffed.

"It's more of a if-you-don't-leave-I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass sorta thing. Now get lost," Rika said.

"Fine, I will!" Kazu turned his nose up in the air and walked away.

* * *

"Gahhh! I sewed the fabric onto my hand AGAIN!" Marcus held up his bloody hand.

"Marcus, don't you have any common sense?" Thomas sighed.

"Yeah! Tryin' to say I don't?" Marcus growled.

"Look, I'm only supposed to be your model, but can I offer some suggestions?" Thomas said.

"Sure, but let me give you a piece of advice first. Get rid of that yarmulke!" Marcus yelled.

"I've tried, but it won't come off. This glue is too strong," Thomas tugged at the Jewish beanie.

"Here, I'll take it off. No glue is too strong for me," Marcus cracked his knuckles.

"No, Marcus. I'm fine," Thomas stepped back.

"You act like I have to rip the damn thing from your head. I'm just gonna cut the hair under the yarmulke," Marcus picked up a pair of shears.

"No thank you," Thomas said.

"Come on! Do you want that yarmulke stuck to your head for the rest of your life?" Marcus twirled the scissors on his finger.

* * *

_The Inner Workings of Thomas's Imagination..._

"Ha hah! I beat you in chess again!" said a muscular old guy. He was wearing a black motorcycle jacket, distressed jeans, and his long, gray hair was tied in the back.

"That's preposterous! You're probably cheating!" an old man with white hair pounded his fist on the table. He had on glasses, a green sweater vest, and a pair of tan slacks.

"He's not cheating, Grampy," a young blond boy in an identical outfit said.

"You're choosing sides!" the old guy in the sweater vest pointed a finger at his grandson.

"No, I'm not! I'm sorry, Grampy!" the kid burst out in tears and ran away.

"Heh heh, nice one there. And I'm the one who has anger issues. I bet it's hot underneath that yarmulke," the old man in the motorcycle jacket sneered.

"That's it Marcus! Enough with your hogwash prattle and let's do a rematch!" the old man in the sweater vest knocked all of the pawns down.

"We've done 73 rematches and I won all of them and frankly, I'm getting tired of it. Remember when you used to be the genius?" Marcus yawned.

"I still am a genius," Thomas protested.

"A genius whose brain is slowly deteriorating. And that yarmulke is only speeding up the process. Tell me, how hot is it underneath that thing?" Marcus smirked.

"Stop trying to psyche me out!" Thomas yelled.

"What? I'm just concerned. What if you get heat stroke?" Marcus said.

"You just want me to die so you can have my tapioca pudding!" Thomas yelled.

"Are you kidding? Then who am I going to beat at chess with?" Marcus said.

"Gahhhh!" Thomas clutched the sides of his face.

"How about we go inside and play Yahtzee?" Marcus got up from his seat and placed his hand on Thomas's shoulder. "You can have my tapioca pudding."

"Okay," Thomas moped and shuffled his way inside.

_*End Scene*_

* * *

"No," Thomas sighed.

"Then come over here," Marcus patted a wooden chair.

"Okay, okay. Just be careful, and I mean really careful. Not your standard of careful, if you even have one," Thomas said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Just relax," Marcus stood behind Thomas and tried to pick up the yarmulke. "Geez, this thing is so stubborn! It's like it's glued to your scalp..."

"Oww, oww! This is great!" Thomas said. "There has to be a painless way to fix this!"

"There is," Marcus said.

"Let's hear your bright idea then," Thomas crossed his arms.

"Convert to Judaism," Marcus laughed.

"Oh, that's really helpful, Marcus!" Thomas snapped.

"Just for that, I'm not taking the yarmulke off!" Marcus yelled. "Now be a good doll while I throw a bunch of fabric on you!"

"I can feel my head sweating underneath this cap," Thomas grumbled.

"Shhh!" Marcus threw a sheet of orange fabric on top of Thomas.

* * *

"And...time! Put your supplies down!" Gennai yelled.

"Aww," everyone groaned.

"I'm just gonna touch this up," Matt grabbed a spool of thread.

"No Matt! You are not going to feel anything up! We've got a fashion show starting in a minute!" Gennai snatched the thread from Matt and threw it to the other side of the room. "Now chop chop! The crew's expecting you backstage. _Vamoose_, _rapido_, _andiamo_," Gennai pushed the kids out of the back room.

"Ahhhh!"

"What the hell, Marcus?!" Gennai barked.

"It's nothing," Marcus jumped in front of Thomas.

"Stop bullying your friend and get going!" Gennai yelled.

"Okay okay, sheesh. Come on, Nerdstein," Marcus huffed.

"I don't necessarily appreciate that nickname," Thomas said.

"What's that, Nerdstein?" Marcus smirked.

"Unbelievable," Thomas shook his head.

"Alright, is everyone here?" Gennai did a quick head count. "Okay, good. I'm gonna pass down these numbers. These numbers will represent your designs, so that the judges can't tell who did which design. They don't know anything about your outfits being inspired by your digimon, so everything's basically anonymous to them," Gennai handed buttons to everyone.

"Quick question!" Kazu raised his hand.

"This better be quick," Gennai impatiently crossed his arms.

"Okay, if there are only seven of us, then how am I number 9?" Kazu held up his button.

"That is the number 6," Gennai turned the button upside-down. "Someone switch numbers with him! Now if you excuse me, someone has a fashion show to be the star of!" Gennai clicked his teeth.

* * *

"Hello! Welcome to the first annual TDI File Island Project Runway Competition, where Seven hopefuls will show off their designs and look to the approval of our guest judges! Put your hands together for Taiki Kudo*, who likes to be called Mikey...,"

_*applause*_

"Thanks!" Mikey smiled.

* * *

"Psst...pssst," Kazu tried to get everyone's attention.

"What is it?" Matt droned.

"Don't you think that guy looks like if Tai and Davis had a baby?" Kazu pointed at Mikey.

"Don't point! That's rude," Thomas said.

"But he's right," Sora peeked through the curtain.

"Lemme see!" Tai nudged everyone so he could get a clear view. "No...freakin'...way. Davis, you really gotta check this out," Tai moved Davis over.

Mikey had spiky brown hair and goggles on his head. He wore what looked like a red soccer jersey that was white on the side and had a knockoff Adidas logo on the chest. He also had on khaki shorts, and a stack of rubber bracelets on his arm.

"That is pretty creepy...," Marcus made a face.

"It's like a spawn of Stupid," Rika groaned.

* * *

"And give a round of applause to...Tagiru Agashi*. He doesn't have a nickname yet, but that's totally okay," Gennai said.

"'Sup?" Tagiru winked at the audience.

* * *

"I wonder if that kid is as stupid as he looks," Rika snorted.

"You really shouldn't say that someone is stupid-looking," TK frowned.

"Even if he does look stupid," Kari said.

But in fact, Tagiru did look stupid. Like Mikey, he also had spiky brown hair, except that he had a red streak in the middle. He wore a blue shirt that had a golden crescent and star on the front and a sun patched on the shoulder, and gray shorts. The only reason he looked stupid was because he had a goofy smile plastered on his face and goggles resting off the top of his head.

* * *

"Give a round of applause to...Ryouma Mogami*!" Gennai boomed.

_*applause*_

* * *

"She looks stylish," Sora noted.

"She's pretty in a high-fashion sorta way," Zoe agreed.

"Nah, she's not curvy enough for me," Tai said.

"She's way too skinny," Matt nodded.

"Hey Matt. She's got your smile," TK pointed out.

"No she doesn't...," Matt trailed off.

"Oh my gosh, she totally does!" Kazu gasped.

"You're an idiot. What do you even know?" Matt snapped.

"As much as I want to agree with you, I'm afraid that I'm gonna go with Kazu on this," Henry shook his head.

"I love you!" Kazu gave Henry a big bear hug.

Ryouma's short, wispy, silver hair fell gracefully into her eyes. She wore a tailored midnight-blue blazer with a zipper in the back, matching dress slacks, black sneakers, and a watch.

* * *

"Hey, can I call you Ryan for short?" Gennai asked.

"No," Ryouma curtly said.

"Whatever. The dubbers will change your name anyways," Gennai muttered.

* * *

"Oh my gosh! He's a guy!" Davis gasped.

"Or she could have smoked too many cigarettes?" Takato shrugged.

"No, she's totally a guy! Look at that Adam's apple! It's like he swallowed a golf ball," Kari whispered.

"Gross...I think I'm gonna be sick," Joe said.

"Whatever you do, don't get sick on my outfit!" Tai threatened.

* * *

"And our final guest judge...drumroll please?" Gennai looked over to his sound effects crew.

_*ratattatatatata!*_

"Yours truly, Mimi Tachikawa!" Gennai announced.

"Glad to see you all again," Mimi took a seat next to Ryouma. She was wearing a green, lacy top and her hair was a nice shade of brown. "Actually, not really. I'd rather have stayed in the competition," she crossed her arms.

"Now now, Mimi! The past has already passed. That's why it's called the past," Gennai said.

* * *

"Where did he get that from? _The Corniest Phrases Day-by-Day Calendar_?" Rika scoffed.

* * *

"It's a clever quote, don't you think? I got it from my _Inspirational Idioms of the Day Calendar_," Gennai beamed.

* * *

"You're creepy, you know that?" Tai looked astonished at Rika.

"And you're stupid, but I'm hoping you know that," Rika scoffed.

"Okay everyone, time to shut up and get into your seats!" an intern ushered them into the audience.

"You're a meanie!" Tai mouthed to Rika. She simply smirked back.

* * *

"Now that we've got all of the intros out of the way, let's get on with the show! Each of our contestants will send a model down the runway, and it is up to the judges to grade each outfit. At the end of the show, the judges will deliberate and pick which outfits they liked best and which outfits should be sent to the reject pile! Are we ready to get the party started?" Gennai hollered.

"YEAAAHHHH!" the audience chanted.

"For our first outfit, we have Sora modeling a blue zebra-print minidress that barely leaves anything to the imagination! We're not complaning though," Gennai asked.

"I am! How could you dress her up like a whore?" Tai punched Matt in the arm.

"What? I was just working with what I had. It's pretty hard to do when you only have a couple feet of fabric," Matt hissed.

* * *

_Hours earlier..._

"Hey," Matt motioned TK over.

"Yeah?" TK tilted his head to the side.

"Can you do me a favor and throw this away?" Matt dropped a whole stack of blue zebra-print fabric in TK's arms.

"Why?" TK asked.

"Uh...because it's ugly?" Matt said. "I'll give you ten bucks..."

"Okay," TK shrugged and took the fabric with him.

* * *

"Oh no, they're whispering! That can't be good," Kazu gasped.

"Can it!" Matt said.

"So what do you guys think?" Gennai pointed to Sora.

"I like it!" Mikey grinned.

"At first I thought you looked like a mess, but I'm gonna go with Mikey on this. You look hot! Thumbs up!" Tagiru nodded.

"Not really feeling this. Have you thought about where you could even wear a monstrosity like this?" Ryouma crossed his arms in disapproval.

"Like totally. Whoever designed this has like totally tacky taste," Mimi wriggled her nose in disgust.

"Wow, Meems. Someone's being exceptionally harsh today," Gennai grimaced. "I would have thought you'd like this outfit."

"And I thought I would win this competition," Mimi pouted. "Besides, that outfit is like so tacky!"

"Your clothes are tacky," Matt muttered.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I have a feeling that this is as good as it'll get. If it makes you feel any better, you guys will get to decide who goes home tonight...," Gennai said.

"That does make me feel better," Mimi smiled.

"I don't know. I feel bad that the fate of others depends on me. I don't want anybody to lose because of me," Mikey frowned.

"Sissy," Ryouma snorted.

"Now now, let's leave the name calling for the jungle gym," Gennai shook his head. "Our next model up is... Joe! He's my favorite guy," Gennai cackled.

"Can I just stay behind the curtain? I have stage fright...," Joe whimpered.

"NO!" Gennai dashed to the end of the runway and pulled Joe across. Joe was wearing an orange T-shirt with a happy face scrawled on it. He was also wearing brown khaki shorts, and black sneakers.

"What is that?" Ryouma winced.

"No that's just wrong," Tagiru shook his head.

"Well, I think it's cool! I would wear it," Mikey said.

"Then I would wear it too! Not because I wanna copy you, but because I think it's cool too," Tagiru changed his mind.

"You think that's cool?" Mimi grimaced. "Anybody could buy a T-shirt and draw a face on it!"

"That's true...," Tagiru trailed off.

"But don't you like it?" Mikey asked.

"Uh...," Tagiru bit at his fingernail.

"I think it's stupid, don't you?" Ryouma badgered Tagiru.

"Uh...," Tagiru frantically looked around the room.

"You really shouldn't have to think too hard about this. Even that blue dress is better than that stupid shirt!" Mimi got in Tagiru's face.

"Excuse me, everyone," Tagiru calmly got up from his seat. "GAAAHHHHH!" he dashed off before anyone could move a muscle.

"You better come back here or I'm gonna break those goggles!" Gennai yelled after him.

"Okay...," Tagiru shuffled his way back to his seat.

"Thank you!" Gennai huffed. "TK, your turn!"

"That's okay. I'm fine back here..."

"What is it with all of you guys acting so camera shy? For crying out loud, you guys were filmed nonstop for weeks. What's the change now?" Gennai grumbled as he pulled TK by the wrist.

"Oh...," Mikey's jaw dropped.

"My...," Ryouma covered his face.

"God...," Mimi said in awe.

"Whoa...," Tagiru whimpered. "Do I have to look at this?"

"Duh! You guys have to judge the outfits, so you gotta look at them all," Gennai frowned.

"Well, it's definitely an interesting outfit," Mimi giggled as she eyed TK. TK was wearing a white corset with pink ribbon trimmings, white short shorts, white high-heeled boots with silver studs on them, black belts strapped around his thigh, and white wings.

* * *

Camera Confessions...

"Kari is pure evil," TK struggled to take off his wings.

* * *

"Can you guys just hurry up so I can hide?" TK bit his lip.

"No," Gennai stood next to him. "Do you guys like this?"

"You look like an angel," Mikey winced.

"No man should ever wear this," Ryouma shook his head.

"I think it's cute. It does give you some volume," Mimi put her hand on her chest.

"Not funny," TK narrowed his eyes at her.

"Yeah, you _do_ look...bigger," Tagiru said.

"I gotta go now," TK stomped out of the runway.

"Next up!" Gennai hollered.

Henry walked down the runway. He was wearing a yellow blazer with the sleeves rolled up, purple jeans, a white v-neck shirt, purple fingerless gloves, and a white scarf hanging off his neck.

"No," Mimi said firmly.

"What's wrong with it? I think it's a clean cut look. If I liked wearing colors, I would wear this," Ryouma said.

"Yellow and purple? Is he rooting for the LA Lakers? Because there is no other reason why purple and yellow should be in the same outfit," Mimi scoffed.

"This outfit is too... Ryouma," Tagiru said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryouma flashed Tagiru an evil look.

"I think he was just trying to say it's a very stylish outfit," Mikey said.

"I want to hear what he has to say though," Ryouma looked at Tagiru with piercing eyes.

"Hey, is that an airplane?" Tagiru tried to change the subject.

"You're not getting off that easy...," Ryouma bore his eyes at him.

"Thank you, Henry," Gennai said. "Next!"

"What the...?"

"Did you get beaten up before you got here?" Gennai asked.

"No," Davis slumped.

"Then why do you look like someone mugged you for your lunch money?" Mikey asked.

"Someone mugged my heart," Davis sighed. He wore a lavender v-neck, a dark lavender vest (which was held up by safety pins), and silver jeans (which also happened to be held together by safety pins).

"Stupid, stupid!" Zoe quietly facepalmed herself. "Why did I have to be stuck with him?"

"Because you didn't pick someone else quick enough," Kari whispered in Zoe's ear.

"You bitch!" Zoe sprung up from her seat and slapped Kari hard across the face.

_*cricket cricket*_

"Ouch, that must hurt," Mikey bit his lip.

"That slap was so hard, I felt it," Tagiru rubbed his cheek.

"Nah, that was me," Ryouma smirked.

"How are those two still in the competition and I'm not?" Mimi crossed her arms.

"What's done is done! Now get over it!" Gennai yelled. "As for this outfit, we can all agree that it makes a statement."

"Yeah, and that statement is 'I didn't have enough time to sew everything together'," Ryouma smirked.

"And those colors sooo don't go with Davis's complexion! Whose bright idea was it to make his outfit silver and purple? It totally washes him out!" Mimi ranted.

"Okay, you can go backstage now," Gennai shooed Davis away. "Next! Oh my gosh, it's Thomas! He's soooo hot!"

"Thank you?" Thomas blushed as he walked down the runway. He was wearing an torn-up orange shirt with blue fabric underneath, a red belt strapped criss-crossed on his chest, and blue jeans.

"That's a pretty cool shirt," Mikey nodded his head.

"He makes that shirt look cool. I want it," Tagiru said in awe.

"Not impressed," Ryouma kicked his feet up on the table. "It looks like someone just ripped up an orange shirt and put it over a blue shirt."

"You know what? He's right...," Tagiru said. "Mimi?"

"Thomas, you look like a dream," Mimi giggled, not paying attention to his outfit.

"Thanks, Nerdstei- Norstein!" Gennai patted Thomas on the back and signaled Takato over.

"Wow!" Mikey gaped.

"Double wow!" Tagiru nodded.

"Oh my gosh!" Mimi gasped.

"That's nice," Ryouma nonchalantly said.

Takato walked down the runway with his hair slicked back, and wearing a shiny, silky, burnt orange button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a brown tie, spray-painted bronze jeans, and a brown belt.

"You look so cute! I just want to kidnap you and take you to my room-" Mimi gushed.

"Whoa, whoa Mimi! This is a PG-13 show!" Gennai said.

"What? I was just gonna say that I was gonna take him to my room and add him to my stuffed animal collection. What did you think I was going to say?" Mimi blinked.

"Oh, nothing! But she's right. Takato, you look so cute!" Gennai grabbed Takato by the face.

"Thanks?" Takato said through squished cheeks.

"Okay, now all the models get up here!" Gennai yelled. Sora, Joe, Henry, TK, Davis, and Thomas lined up on the stage next to Takato. "Time for you judges to choose your favorite and your least favorite outfits! Designers, head backstage!"

* * *

"Oh my god, oh my god, I might pee myself," Kazu bit on his nails.

"I already did...," Matt said.

"Gross!" everyone shrieked.

"Whatever. I'm training to be an astronaut. Might as well get used to the feeling of hot pee on my leg," Matt shrugged.

"Uh huh...that's why," Tai rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me sit on you! My pants are wet!" Matt threatened.

"Shhh! I'm trying to listen to what they're saying!" Kari pressed her ear against the door.

"That's not how you do it. This is how you do it," Zoe put on a stethoscope and put the chestpiece on the door.

"Where did you even get that thing?" Marcus asked.

"I swiped it from Thomas's first aid kit," Zoe said. "Joe also brought a first aid kit with him, but his tools were just plastic toys."

"Figures," Rika rolled her eyes.

"So what are they saying?" Matt asked.

"I don't know...seems like they're done judging though. Act natural," Zoe threw the stethoscope across the room.

"Hey guys! Ready to face your doom?" Gennai asked.

"Not really," Kazu wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.

"Well, too bad!"

* * *

"As you can see, our designers are standing right next to their models. This is it...here is the moment where we find out who made the cut, and who will be cut. Here are our guest judges: Mikey Kudo, Tagiru Agashi, Ryouma Mogami, and Mimi Tachikawa!" Gennai said. "Mimi, what have you guys decided on?"

"The choice was pretty hard. There were a couple of hits, misses, and in betweens, but we finally came to an agreement," Mimi said. "And the candidates who will make it to the next round are...number 7..."

"Nyah nyah!" Kari stuck her tongue out at Zoe.

"You bitch!" Zoe said through her teeth.

"YES! That means I can finally take this off," TK threw his wings off his back and walked away.

"Number 2...," Ryouma said.

"The Ultimate Team strikes again!" Marcus high-fived Thomas.

"Number...1!" Tagiru called out.

"I knew I'd make it through," Rika casually led Henry off the runway.

"Number 6...," Mikey said.

"We did it, baby!" Matt picked Sora up and spun her around.

"_We did it, baby_...," Tai quietly mocked Matt.

"Tai, Zoe, Kazu. Please step up," Ryouma said.

"One of you guys created the best outfit, one of you guys created the worst outfit, and one of you guys made an outfit that was in-between," Mimi said.

"As a little reward, the winner of this challenge gets a $50 gift card to Primary Colors Bakery," Tagiru held up a card.

"And like usual, the loser gets to go home," Mikey frowned.

"Kazu, step up!" Mimi said.

_*gulp*_

"You are the proud winner of this challenge!" Tagiru handed Kazu his gift card.

"I never thought you had it in you," Gennai shook his head.

"Neither did I! I would have never guessed you had a sense of style...especially with that visor of yours," Mimi said.

"Well, I do have good taste," Kazu winked.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"At first, I only read fashion magazines for the almost naked models, but then I started getting interested in the clothes," Kazu said. "But it's still nice to see Rika's mom on the advertisements, heh heh."

* * *

"Now it's down to you two," Mikey tapped on his goggles.

"I don't think we need to give you any reasons of why you guys are on the bottom two," Ryouma said.

"Please be Zoe, please be Zoe," Kari closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.

"Did you guys think that you could pull this over on us?" Mimi tapped her fingers against the table.

"It looks like you didn't have enough time to make something passable, so you just threw something together," Ryouma sat up straight.

"Holy crap! It does look like that!" Tagiru exclaimed.

"I feel like a jerk for saying this, but you two had the worst outfits out of everyone," Mikey said.

"Zoe...," Mimi said.

"Yeah?" Zoe trembled.

"You're safe from this week's elimination," Ryouma said. "Tai, you've been cut!"

"What? But why?" Tai asked.

"Anybody could scribble a face on a t-shirt!" Ryouma scoffed.

"You're an ass," Tai flipped him off.

* * *

_Last words..._

"They're just jealous because I kept it simple!" Tai pouted.

"I think everyone else would call it BS-ing," TK said.

"TK?! Where's the cameraman?" Tai sprung up from his seat.

"Beats me. Davis handed me the camera, and I have no idea where he went...," TK said. "But did you think you could take the easy way out this time around?"

"Yeah! It's worked for me all the time! It was fool-proof!" Tai said.

"Hmm...remember our challenge at Primary Village?" TK asked.

"What about it?" Tai growled.

"Your team took the 'easy way' out of that one too, and you guys ended up losing that challenge," TK reminded Tai.

"That was one time, and it was Takuya's idea, not mine!" Tai protested.

"But you still went with it," TK said.

"Shut up! At least I didn't dress up like a Victoria's Secret angel!" Tai smirked,

"You need to do something about that. Your sister is evil!" TK yelled.

"You take that back!" Tai lunged toward TK.

_*static*_

* * *

***Disclamer: **Thanks to Sorian Khrailite for suggesting bringing some Xros Wars guys to drop by the competition! Unfortunately, since I never watched Xros Wars (I don't do reading subs, so I'll wait for the dub and pray that it's just as good/accurate as the original Japanese), these guys might be out of character. I tried to portray these guys as best as I can for a person who only went as far as reading the character wiki pages. Nonetheless, I thought that bringing the Xros Wars guys were a good idea, so I just had to bring them in. What did you guys think?

(PS: Why they did dub it Digimon Fusion? Digimon Xros Wars sounds so much more badass...)


	26. House of Clues

**Lily's Corner of Shame: Hey, Executive Producer Lily here! I just want to apologize to all of our loyal TDI viewers for the delay of this episode. As the end of the competition gets closer, we want to spice things up a bit. We've been looking through your ideas, and trying to collaborate them into the most unexpected challenges ever. This episode took so long to air because of the holiday season, and the fact that it was hard trying to write this chapter (I've never done this genre before), but mostly because of the holiday season. Once again, the production crew and I would like to say sorry for leaving you guys hanging :(**

**Now on with the show!**

* * *

**Recap:** Gennai is left to run the show after Lily gets incarcerated for a crime that wasn't really a big deal. Having the network execs breathing down his neck, Gennai is forced to come up with a challenge quickly. Unfortunately, Gennai's not the most creative person around. Fortunately, Gennai comes up with an idea after watching hours of reality competition shows (who said TV doesn't fix anything?) and turns it into a fashionable challenge. The remaining contestants reunite with some former contestants, which causes drama to blow up. The pressure only increases when the contestants' designs will be judged by strangers and an angry Mimi. Kazu shocks everyone with his sense of style, and wins first place. Many others fell in between, but Tai and Zoe designed remarkably bad outfits. Zoe's outfit almost falls apart (even though it was never stitched together in the first place) and Tai's was reMARKERably bad, since he only scribbled a face onto an orange shirt. Sorry Tai, but Marcus's Agumon totally trumped yours.

* * *

**House of Clues**

"I bet all of this competition worked up your appetite. Sure as hell made me hungry," Gennai stuffed some cornbread into his mouth. Everyone was sitting in a fancy dining room, enjoying a family-sized fried chicken meal. Well, everyone except Matt...

"Hmmm," Matt sighed.

"If you don't want that, I'll eat it," Marcus poked his fork in Matt's chicken.

"Leave him alone. I'd be sad too if my boyfriend got eliminated," Gennai said.

"Are you trying to say I'm gay? You're the gay one!" Matt gave Gennai an angry stare.

"Nooo, _you're_ the gay one...," Gennai sneered.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with being gay," Zoe said.

"I feel like I'm eating with a bunch of second graders. You're so immature," Rika rolled her eyes as she stuffed some collard greens in her mouth.

"I don't know. I think this is funny. Pass the corn," Kari shrugged.

"Here," Kazu handed her an opened can of corn.

"No, _you're_ the gay one!" Matt pointed his finger at Gennai.

"No, _you're_ the gay one!" Gennai said.

"No, _you're_ the-"

"Stop it already! You're both gay!" Marcus slammed his fist on the table. "All I wanted to do was eat Matt's fried chicken, but you guys had to ruin my plans by having the gayest conversation in the middle of dinner!"

"Here, take it. I'm not hungry," Matt passed his plate over to Marcus.

"Thank you! That's all I asked for," Marcus scarfed down the food.

"You're still gay," Gennai snickered.

"No, you're gay!" Matt spat back.

"Seriously?" Zoe pulled her hat down over her head.

"No...Kazu's gay!" Gennai said.

"No, he-wait! Kazu is gay," Matt slowly nodded.

"What?" Kazu looked up from his plate.

"You're gay," Gennai smirked.

"Really gay," Matt nodded.

"That's original. Talk to me when you have something new to say," Kazu went back to eating.

"Wow, that was scary...," Rika said.

"What?" Kari asked.

"Usually, Kazu would argue about how non-gay he is and end up proving himself wrong in the process, but this time, he just accepted it," Rika frowned.

"I got something scarier than that!" Gennai scoffed.

"What could be scarier than Kazu finally coming to terms with his homosexuality?" Marcus raised an eyebrow.

"It's supposedly an urban legend, but they're true events...," Gennai eerily started.

"That doesn't make any sense. How can something possibly be an urban legend if it actually happened?" Matt made a face.

"Just shut up and let me tell the story!" Gennai snapped.

"Okay okay, sheesh!" Matt huffed.

"Once upon a time..."

"Oh boy! You know this story's gonna be good when it starts off with 'once upon a time'!" Kazu rubbed his hands together.

"Now that's a smart boy! Once upon a time, there was this criminal who liked to kidnap people, especially pretty little girls-"

"Is this story about you?" Marcus interjected.

"No, this isn't about me! You can ask questions later! Now stop interrupting!" Gennai snapped. "Anyways, she-"

"So you're saying that the criminal was female?" Kari asked.

"Yes. Yes, she was a girl," Gennai sighed.

"Then why did she like to kidnap other girls?" Zoe asked.

"Let me tell the story and you'll find out!" Gennai growled.

"Okay, go on," Matt said.

"Thank you! Now the reason she kidnapped people was because she wanted their stuff. She was known as the Dim Keeper because her MO was to tie people up and hide them in dark, secluded places so she could rob them and make a clean getaway. Her motto was 'they can't accuse me if they can't find the witnesses', and I guess there's some truth to that considering the fact that she successfully stole from many people without getting caught by the cops. She went on a whole crime spree, stealing anything from foreign German cars, jewelry, expensive fake fur rugs, gymnasiums, designer shoes in size 6 1/2, jewel-encrusted pens, baby turtles, US State Quarter coin collections that included the Washington DC and Guam quarters, and basically anything imaginably cool! The Dim Keeper did an impressive job, until she made the mistake of robbing three sisters. Like usual, she hid and locked them up in a closet, but this time around, the Dim Keeper decided to take it a step further and disguised as one of the hostages. Unfortunately, she got found out and got sent straight to jail. But the story doesn't end there! Just when you think the world was finally at ease, disaster struck again! The Dim Keeper broke out of her cell and injured many security guards with the most unexpected everyday object ever. And do you want to know the weapon of choice was?" Gennai said.

"What was it?" Kazu gasped for air.

"A candy cane...just like this one!" Gennai pulled a candy came from behind his back.

"Ahhhhh!" Kazu shrieked.

"Whoa whoa whoa! That was supposed to be scary?" Matt scoffed.

"That is the worst story I've ever heard," Rika snorted.

"And by the way, candy canes aren't an everyday object. They're more like a one-day object," Zoe pointed out.

"Yeah, Christmas Day," Kazu nodded.

"You kids and your technicalities! Whatever, it's not my fault if you don't take the Dim Keeper seriously. Don't cry to me when she comes for you," Gennai crossed his arms.

"Trust me, we won't," Marcus smirked.

"If you guys are finished with dinner, get to bed ASAP. There's a challenge first thing in the morning, so you might want to get some shuteye," Gennai said.

"But how will we ever sleep after hearing that horrid story about the Dim Keeper?" Matt said in a dramatic debutante tone.

"You know, you pull off that Southern Belle voice a little too well," Gennai looked at Matt with concern. "Go ahead and laugh now...I was just trying to keep you kids informed about the current events. Well, good night and don't let the Dim Keeper strike!"

* * *

"You know what? I don't think I'll be able to sleep after that story," Marcus said.

"Oooh, is someone scared?" Kazu sneered.

"No!" Marcus threw a pillow so hard in Kazu's face, it exploded into a bunch of feathers.

"Ow, my nose!" Kazu whined.

"I'm going to be up all night trying to wrap my head around how someone can escape from jail and kill people with a friggin' candy cane," Marcus leaned back against the headboard of his bed.

"Who knows? Maybe the security guards had diabetes," Rika smirked.

"I think I get how the Dim Keeper did it!" Matt sucked on a candy cane until he formed a sharp point at the end, and then he poked Marcus in the arm with it.

"Poke me again and die!" Marcus grabbed Matt's wrist and twisted it.

"Ow ow ow, let go!" Matt dropped the sharp candy cane on the ground.

"Getting beat up by Marcus is a lot scarier than that craphole of a story," Kazu said.

"A bazillion times scarier," Matt rubbed his wrist.

"I think eating spaghetti in the dark is pretty scary," Zoe said.

"How is that scary?" Kari shot Zoe a dirty look.

"Not that I should have to explain myself to you, but I always get paranoid that the noodles could be earthworms, and I probably wouldn't know that I'm eating worms because I couldn't taste it with all of the tomato sauce on top. I can just imagine the worms moving in my mouth!" Zoe cringed and covered her face with her pillow.

"That's pretty gross," Matt winced. "But it's not as scary as bad hair cuts. I rely on my looks to get what I want, and I can't look ugly!"

"..."

"So Kazu, what are you scared of? Besides everything," Kari broke the silence.

"I am not scared of everything! But being ditched in the dark freaks me out," Kazu said.

"That is scary," Kari rubbed her arm.

"Of course it is to you, princess of light," Matt scoffed.

"Princess of light? What's that about?" Zoe made a face.

"Us Adventure kids had these crests, which symbolized a special trait that we had. For example, I have the crest of Friendship-,"

"You had the crest of Friendship?" Rika scoffed.

"Yeah, shut up. You got a problem with that, then take it up with Gennai. He was the one who assigned the crests to us," Matt huffed. "So I have the crest of Friendship, stop laughing Rika and Kazu, and Kari has the crest of Light-"

"So is that why you didn't like Kouichi? Because he's got the spirit of Darkness and you're the 'princess of light'?" Zoe sneered.

"Let's not talk about that right now," Kari picked at her bedsheets.

"I see Kari has a fear of confrontation," Zoe pensively nodded.

"Hey, not finished here! So these crests released powers, which could make our digimon evolve into Ultimate," Matt explained.

"Hah, ultimate? Are you serious?" Marcus laughed.

"What's so funny about that?" Kari frowned.

"I'm so badass, I didn't need some girly crest to make my Agumon digivolve to Ultimate. In fact, my Agumon digivolved all the way to Mega, and even Burst mode," Marcus bragged. "I'm so badass that I was the first leader to _not_ wear goggles! I'm so badass, I beat the living crap out of digimon with these babies right here," Marcus punched the air.

"Hah, please! I bet you're not badass enough to be completely fearless," Matt smirked.

"That's where you're wrong, my dearest friend," Marcus said.

"So you're not scared of anything?" Kazu asked.

"Nope, nada!" Marcus bragged.

"Snakes?"

"Nope," Marcus shook his head.

"Ladders?"

"Nein!"

"Failing a test?"

"Nah!"

"Midgets?"

"Nyet!"

"Your mom when she's angry?"

"That doesn't count."

"Death?"

"Death can bite my ass!"

"Hey Rika, how about you? Are you scared of anything?" Matt turned over to Rika.

"Yeah right. Only idiots get scared," Rika scoffed.

"High-five!" Marcus held his palm up in the air.

"No," Rika crossed her arms.

"She left you hanging!" Kazu jeered.

"Keep smiling, and I'll leave you hanging...on the windowsill!" Marcus threatened.

"Whatever, I'm gonna sleep," Matt pulled his blanket over his head.

"Me too. I want to be well-rested enough to win the challenge," Zoe took her hat off and hung it on the bedpost.

"Like you're gonna win," Kari said.

"Shut up! We don't even know what tomorrow's challenge is gonna be! Anybody could win," Rika grumpily said.

"Yeah, so everyone just shut the hell up and go to sleep," Matt said, his voice muffled by his blankets.

"Yeah, what Matt said!" Kazu said. He looked at the corner of his eyes after nobody reacted back. "Guys? Is anyone awake?"

* * *

_*Bing bing bing*_

"Wakey wakey! Today is the first day of the rest of your life!" Gennai obnoxiously burst into the bedroom and clapped his hands loudly.

"Umpf...," Marcus rubbed his eyes.

"It feels like three in the morning!" Kazu whined.

"That's because it is!" Gennai leaped in the air and jumped on Kazu.

"Ahhhh!" Kazu yelled.

"Seriously, get up! Your challenge awaits!" Gennai yelled.

"Are you kidding me?" Marcus growled.

"No, I'm not! You guys better meet me at the stairs in a half-hour. If you're not there on time, you will automatically be eliminated, got that?" Gennai said.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I lied. I wasn't going to eliminate anyone for taking too long. I just wanted everyone to hurry up," Gennai laughed.

"You eliminated me when I didn't come out of the ruins in time," Henry said.

"That was a different story. And why are you holding the camera? Where's the cameraman?" Gennai asked.

"From what TK said, he was holding the camera for Davis, who was holding it for Joe, who was holding it for Koji, who was holding it for the original cameraman because he said the camera guy would get him a Big Mac," Henry said.

"Did Koji get his Big Mac?" Gennai raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno. Beats me," Henry shrugged.

* * *

"You heard Gennai. You guys should get up," Zoe said.

"Stupid Gennai," Marcus grumpily threw his sheets off and got up from his bed.

"Riiiiika," Kazu shook Rika's shoulder.

"He said we had thirty minutes, and I plan on using them wisely," Rika growled.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Matt said.

"Shouldn't you be wearing grown-up pajamas?" Rika put her pillow over her head.

"What's wrong with these?" Matt tugged at his footie pajamas.

"For one thing, the doggy flap is open," Marcus pointed at Matt's butt.

"Seriously? I think those clasps are broken," Matt huffed as he tried to fasten his flap back up.

"Why do those pajamas have a flap there anyways?" Zoe pursed her lips.

"So you can poop without taking your PJ's off completely," Kazu confidently said.

"You seem like you know your stuff...," Marcus grimaced.

"Let's just say that pooping out of your jammies is not recommended," Kazu slowly shook his head.

"Good to know," Kari bit her lip.

* * *

_Thirty Minutes Later..._

"Glad to see you guys could make it, nice pajamas, Rika," Gennai nodded.

"Sue me if I'd rather sleep an extra half hour than to get TV pretty," Rika was still in her periwinkle button-down sleep shirt and matching pants.

"Okay then...," Gennai frowned. "Guess what? I boarded up the windows and locked you guys in this mansion! Cool, right?"

"What's cool about that?!" Matt spazzed.

"It'll enhance the experience!" Gennai boomed.

"Oh no! Gennai's gonna kill us!" Kazu shrieked.

"Don't be stupid, boy! If I killed you, then I'd have nobody to torture," Gennai put his hands on his hips.

"True," Kazu sighed in relief.

"I won't kill you, but one of our former contestants might, and they're inside this mansion right now!" Gennai smiled.

"Oh my god! Are you saying you locked us up here with a deranged loser?!" Kari gasped.

"When you put it like that, it doesn't sound that nice," Gennai rubbed his chin. "But that's pretty much what I'm saying."

"So basically the first person to get killed off gets eliminated?!" Zoe nervously bit at her fingernail.

"Come on! Now you're twisting my words around," Gennai whined. "But that's basically what's gonna happen."

"Oh no, we're all gonna die!" Kari started to hyperventilate.

"We're not all going to die. Only one of us is," Marcus blurted. "Wait, that came out wrong..."

"You're a man of many words," Rika smirked.

"You possibly won't die if you know what to look for. There are six suspects roaming around this mansion, but only one of them is out to get you guys. If you want to win this challenge, you have to avoid that former contestant for as long as possible," Gennai said.

"Couldn't you just make it easier by just telling us who it is?" Matt angrily said.

"But where's the fun in that? There will be clues scattered around the mansion that will help prove other suspects innocent, so you really have to pay attention to your surroundings. The six suspects you have to look out for have their own trademark color: red, yellow, blue, green, purple, and white. Then there's the weapon of choice-

* * *

_*beeeeep*_

**Disclaimer: _We do not condone the use of the following objects about to be mentioned to injure people. In fact, you probably shouldn't hurt anyone with any kind of object. TDI File Island, Executive Producer Lily, or any of her affiliates (except for Gennai) are not liable for and will not be held responsible for your stupid actions. That means you can't sue us for attempting the same idiotic things that happen on this show. We probably should have said that in the beginning of the series, but oh well, better late than never._**

_*we now return to our regular programming*_

* * *

"...the weapon of choice. The suspect could possibly kill you with a candy cane-"

"Shoulda seen that one coming," Marcus blew his bangs out of his face.

"Candy canes can be more fatal than you think," Gennai said. "The weapon could be a candy cane, scissors, PVC insulation pipe, encyclopedia, hot coffee, or a dodgeball. Go through the process of elimination to guess the murderer. So if you see a candy cane lying around, then that's not the weapon that's gonna be used. And to make things a little interesting, we're gonna have a battle of the sexes," Gennai said.

"Why?" Rika asked.

"This is just to see who has the qualities of a winner. A true winner should be as able to work with others as much as they can work by themselves to reach their goals," Gennai said.

"Seriously? That is the corniest thing I've ever heard. What is this, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?" Rika scorned.

"Isn't that the movie where four girls mail a pair of pants to each other because they're all in different places for the summer?" Kazu asked.

"Of course you would know what that's about," Rika muttered.

"The reward for the winning team will be a spa day," Gennai bribed.

"Spas are for girls," Marcus scoffed.

"No they aren't! I go all the time," Matt crossed his arms.

"Point proven," Marcus smirked.

"Come on! What could be more manly than having attractive Swedish masseuses fawn over you?" Matt said.

"Plus we can just be lazy and sit around all day in fluffy bathrobes," Kazu added.

"That does sound awesome," Marcus nodded.

"Before we start, you might want these," Gennai handed everyone a keychain.

"What's this for?" Zoe looked at the plastic ladybug in her palm.

"This is so you can see where you're going. The producers were nice enough to provide you with flashlights so you could get your way around this mansion easier," Gennai clapped his hands and all of the lights turned off. He clapped his hands again and the room became light again.

"What the-"

"You know these flashlights are gonna suck when they look like ladybugs," Rika dangled the keychain in front of her face in disgust.

"Eh, don't worry about it. There are also candles lit around the mansion, so it won't be completely dark," Gennai clapped his hands and the lights turned off again.

_*clap clap clap clap*_ Kazu clapped his hands.

"Sorry, but the Clapper only responds to my clapping," Gennai said.

"How is that possible?" Matt said, irritated.

"Because it's a special Clapper. Clap on," Gennai clapped his hands and the lights turned on. "Clap off," he clapped his hands and the room turned dark again. "Now you try!"

"Clap on _*clap clap*._..wait. Nothing's happening!" Kazu whined.

"That's because you're a reject. Watch how a badass does it. Clap on _*clap clap*_...hey! What's the big idea?!" Marcus yelled.

"I wanna try it," Zoe clapped her hands. "Huh?"

"Hee hee," Kari giggled.

"Shut up! At least I'm not giving people the clap like you do," Zoe snapped.

"Ohhh," everyone looked at each other in shock. Rika had a very amused look on her face.

"Alright, settle down!" Gennai clapped his hands and the lights turned back on. "Here, the interns made checklists for all of you guys, so you can keep track of your evidence," Gennai handed everyone a slip of paper and tiny pencils. "Flashlights, check! Checklists, check! Pencils, check! Boys vs. girls, check! I think that's everything that's needed. Now that we've got that out of the way, the challenge starts now!" Gennai clapped his hands and the room turned dark again. "Good luck guys! Try not to get killed!"

"We'll try!" Kazu yelled.

* * *

_KRZ (Kari, Rika, Zoe) Cam_

"These stupid ladybugs. You can barely see two feet ahead of you," Rika pressed a button on the side of the keychain.

"Maybe if we shoot all of our flashlights in the same direction, we could see better," Zoe said.

"Why should we listen to you? Your ideas are terrible," Kari said nonchalantly.

"If my ideas are bad, then why don't you come up with something?!" Zoe stomped her foot.

"Oh brother," Rika sighed.

"We should all point our flashlights in different directions so we can see as much as the room as possible. Rika, what do you think?" Kari turned to face Rika.

"Why are you bringing me into this? I don't care what we do, as long as I don't get killed," Rika flatly.

"Since we can't agree on which way we should go, we should at least think of a way to avoid the murderer. I think we should focus looking for the weapons, that way we know which ones aren't going to be used to kill us," Zoe suggested.

"That's the stupidest idea ever! The smart thing to do is to look out for the killer. They're the ones that are going to kill us! Weapons can't kill unless there's a person around to use it," Kari scoffed.

"All of the suspects are going to be lurking around the mansion. Not all of the weapons are going to be scattered around. Gennai said that this game requires us to use process of elimination," Zoe smirked.

"You're going to listen to Gennai? He's an idiot," Kari raised an eyebrow.

"Kari's got a good point there; Gennai is an idiot, and frankly anyone who actually believes anything Gennai says should be related to Kazu," Rika nodded.

"I see you two can agree on something," Zoe pressed her lips together. "Since you guys think you have it all figured out, then go where you want. Just know that I'm not going to be tagging along!"

"Good, we're better off without you anyway. Now there's nobody to screw anything up," Kari smirked.

"Excuse me? Remember that scavenger hunt challenge? Who found all of the items on the list? Oh wait, that was me!" Zoe yelled.

"If you were so great, then why didn't we win the challenge?" Kari said in a patronizing tone.

"Okay, I'm out of here," Rika walked away.

"Because I was doing the decent thing by waiting for you! I held that piñata for at least fifteen minutes," Zoe said.

"The only reason we lost is because our sticky notes flew away. That wouldn't have happened if someone didn't peel them off and stick them somewhere else. You know that makes it harder for the paw prints to stick onto anything," Kari protested.

"Excuses, excuses! I was being nice enough to put the sticky notes on the objects, so I could give the rest of you a fair chance to find all of the items without me around. And you still lost, even with my help! Besides, didn't the rest of you agree that it was Koji's fault we lost?" Zoe smirked.

"No! We only kicked Koji out because he kept sexually harassing Rika. Right, Rika? Wait, where did she go?" Kari looked spooked.

"She did the smart thing and walked away from you!" Zoe had a cocky smile on her face.

"How do you know she wasn't trying to get away from you?_ Maybe we should look out for the weapons_," Kari mocked.

"Whatever! You're by yourself now! Just remember, I'm able to do things on my own," Zoe said.

"Yeah, because nobody else likes you enough to stick around," Kari casually yawned.

"Later!" Zoe turned her back to Kari and went down a corridor.

* * *

_MMK (Matt, Marcus, Kazu) Cam_

"We have to win this challenge! I want to be massaged by pretty girls," Kazu said.

"Me too," Marcus flashed a grin.

"Ditto!" Matt hummed.

"All we have to do is wait for one of the girls to get killed, and then that spa day is ours! Wait...that sounds really bad," Marcus cringed at his own words.

"That's probably not the best phrasing around, but we get what you're trying to say," Matt said.

"Hmmm...the suspects could be Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Reverend Green, Mrs. Beacock, or Professor Plum...," Kazu read off his checklist.

"Wait a second, gimme that," Matt snatched the paper from Kazu.

"Why did you take my checklist? You have your own," Kazu whined.

"Shhh...," Matt quickly skimmed through the slip of paper. "I feel like I've seen this somewhere else."

"Like where?" Marcus asked.

"I can't remember, but it does strike me as familiar," Matt pensively said.

"While you think of where you've seen this, can I get my checklist back?" Kazu asked.

"Here," Matt blankly handed Kazu his checklist back. "Damn."

"Did you remember?" Marcus asked.

"Nah, I gave up. Maybe my mind's just playing tricks on me," Matt said.

_*CLANK*_

"Eeeeep!" Matt and Kazu shrieked.

"Are you serious?" Marcus scoffed.

"That could be the killer!" Kazu whisper-yelled.

"We gotta get away," Matt covered his mouth with his palm.

"Didn't Gennai say we needed to find clues or whatever?" Marcus said.

"Yeah! He did!" Kazu nodded.

"And the more clues we find, the more chance we have of figuring out who's out to get us," Matt rubbed his chin.

"So if we want to find a lot of clues, we should split up," Marcus said.

"Nonononono! That's a BAD idea!" Kazu frantically shook his head. "Do you know what happens in a scary movie when people split up?"

"The black guy dies first?" Matt guessed.

"Why is that? They're the only characters in the movie who have common sense," Marcus said.

"I think the same thing happens on this show," Matt said.

"How? None of us are black," Kazu said.

"No, that's not what I meant. You would have figured that the smarter a person is, the longer they would last in the competition. If I bet my money on it, I thought Henry or Ken would have made it this far," Matt said.

"Now that you think of it, that is pretty weird. It's like the stupid people made it further along than the smart people. Wait, I didn't mean it like that! We're smart. I was talking about the last couple of contestants," Marcus said.

"Kenta," Matt said.

"Davis," Marcus said.

"Mimi," Kazu added.

"Tai," Matt said.

"Whoa, spooky! What if the winner ends up being the biggest dumbass in the world?" Marcus asked.

"I don't think that'll happen. I think we're all pretty smart...well, most of us," Matt subtly tilted his head toward Kazu.

"You're right. We don't have anything to worry about. If he wins, then you know the end of the world is really near," Marcus smirked.

"What did you guys say?" Kazu looked up from his checklist.

"We have to start finding all of the clues," Matt said.

"We're gonna split up, and we'll meet back here in a half-hour, okay?" Marcus said.

"Oka-wait, not okay!" Kazu gasped.

"Divide and conquer!" Matt raised his fist in the air.

"Divide and conquer!" Marcus imitated Matt.

"Kazu, this is where you lift your fist up and say 'divide and conquer'," Matt said to a nervous Kazu.

"I don't want to," Kazu quietly whimpered.

"Divide and conquer!" Matt and Marcus both raised one of Kazu's arms.

"Meet back here in 30!" Marcus said.

"Got it!" Matt nodded and dashed off.

"See ya, Kazu!" Marcus said.

"Wait! Guys...? Come back? I'm scared," Kazu squeaked.

* * *

_Rika Cam_

"I'm actually hoping we don't win that stupid spa day. There's nothing relaxing about spending time with two bitches who fight all the time," Rika grumbled. "And hopefully the murderer will get one of them."

"_That's not very nice..._"

"Who's there? You don't want to mess with me! I used to be an equestrian, so I know how to use a whip!" Rika gripped at the collar of her shirt. She shone her flashlight around the room, which was basically empty except for a grand piano in the back corner and a lit menorah on the windowsill.

_*crash bang bang*_

"You better come out now! I'm not joking!" Rika tightly clutched her ladybug flashlight.

_*creeeeak*_

_*SLAM*_

"Ahhh!" Rika jumped back.

"_I never thought that I could picture the day that I would see you scared by anything..._"

"Okay! Where are you?!" Rika yelled. "Just to let you know, I wasn't scared! I was just surprised," she hollered.

_*whooooosh*_

A gust of wind rushed through the room and Rika pressed her arms down on top of her head to keep her hair from flying everywhere. "What's going on? The windows are nailed shut!" Rika held her hair back into a ponytail with one hand. She looked at the windowsill and watched as the wind blew the flames out of the menorah.

_*scratch*_

A phonograph player turned on and classical music started to play. "It's just Bach. Bach isn't scary," Rika gave out an unconvincing scoff. She stumbled backwards and bumped into a pedestal.

_*crash*_

"Oh my god!" Rika gasped as she knocked over a crystal vase and watched it shatter to the floor.

_*whoooosh*_

_*clank*_

The wind was blowing so hard, Rika's keychain effortlessly flew out of her grip and skittered to the floor. "Crap!" Rika dropped down to the ground to retrieve her weak flashlight, but the wind was so strong, itcaused the ladybug keychain to slide further away from Rika's reach. "Are you freakin' serious?! Great. Now I can't find that stupid keychain!" Rika huffed after five minutes of no success.

_*scratch*_

_*duh-duh-duh-dummmm!*_ The phonograph player abruptly shut off and Beethoven's Fifth began playing.

"Huh?" Rika whipped her head around to see a mysterious shadow playing the piano. "There are no such things as ghosts, there are no such things as ghosts," she chanted to herself. She walked closer to the piano, but the music began getting quieter and quieter. By the time she was a few inches away, the shadow disappeared. "What on earth? I gotta get out of here," Rika tightly shut her eyes and shook her head. Rika peered through the doorway and tiptoed into the corridor.

_*stomp stomp stomp*_

Rika heard the sound of footsteps approaching her. She crawled over to one side of the hallway, her back pressed against the wall. She cautiously slid down until she felt the frame of a doorway. She slipped inside the room and brushed her hand against the wall, trying to find a light switch.

"Aha!" Rika smiled to herself when she felt the switch. She flicked it but the room stayed dark. "Crap! I forgot Gennai turned off all the lights!" Rika groaned.

"You can have this light...," a light beamed right in Rika's face.

"Ahhhh!" Rika shielded her eyes from the light. "Takato?!"

"It's Garçon Beacock to you," Takato handed Rika a heavy-duty flashlight. He was wearing a bright blue sailor suit.

"Wait, you're not gonna kill me?" Rika gingerly took the flashlight from Takato.

"Why would I do that?" Takato gave Rika a quizzical look.

"Gennai told us that a couple of the old contestants were here in this mansion and that one of them was out to kill us," Rika explained.

"Is that what this is about? Gennai just asked if I wanted to help out on the show," Takato frowned.

"Don't you think it's a little suspicious when he makes you wear a Cracker Jack costume?" Rika pointed the flashlight at Takato.

"He told me it was for a drama-mystery play. I'm playing the part of Garçon Beacock," Takato scratched his head.

"Garçon Beacock?" Rika looked through her checklist. "I don't see a Beacock on the list, but I do see a Mrs. Peacock...are you supposed to be Mrs. Peacock?"

"Hmmm, that must be a typo," Takato rubbed his chin.

"So you're not here to kill anyone?" Rika asked.

"Nope. And Rika?"

"What?"

"Nice pajamas."

"Shut up! I didn't feel like getting ready," Rika pulled her arm away.

"Well, I'm beat. I'm gonna take a nap on that couch," Takato jerked his thumb at a velvet sofa.

"I should get going now anyways," Rika nodded.

"Good luck," Takato called out.

* * *

_Kari Cam_

"Having the killer take Zoe would be more relaxing than a spa day," Kari sighed dreamily.

_*creeeeak*_

"Oh no, what's that?" Kari's voice quietly shook.

_*whooosh*_

"It's coming from that room. I don't know if I should go inside or not. If I don't go inside, I won't be able to find any clues, but if I do go inside, I might be killed," Kari bit her nails.

"_The hardest part of opening doors is not knowing what's behind the other side_."

"Mimi?" Kari pointed her ladybug flashlight at her.

"It's Madame Rose to you!" Mimi scrunched up her face. She was decked out in a pink, silky robe and she had a dark pink turban wrapped around her head. Mimi was sitting at a poker table in the corner of the room. At the center of the table sat a small round ball that emitted pink light.

"Huh?" Kari tilted her head in confusion. "I don't think you're on the list..."

"What?! I'm always on the list!" Mimi pouted.

"You're not on the suspect list," Kari pointed at her checklist.

"Oh, that's fine then," Mimi smiled. "Come, come sit down! The spirit world wants me to tell you something," she waved Kari over.

"Is this some sort of trap?" Kari stepped back a little.

"Hello? Didn't you just say I wasn't on the suspect list? Look, my psychic senses are tingling here! Now get over here!" Mimi snapped.

"Okay, what is it?" Kari shuffled over to Mimi and sat down next to her.

"Shhh...," Mimi grabbed a deck of cards and shuffled them. She placed them on the table and stacked them in a neat pile. Then she slid the deck of cards across the table so that they formed an arc in front of Kari. "Pick a card, any card," Mimi said.

"Okay," Kari hesitantly picked a card up from the arc.

"Now flip it face up," Mimi instructed. Kari did what she said and Mimi shook her head. "You will encounter a white presence soon."

"Like a ghost?" Kari stuttered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Mimi scoffed.

"Mimi-I mean, Madame Rose, didn't you just say you were a psychic?" Kari said, confused.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know the future," Mimi said.

"What? But that's what a psychic does...tell the future, right?" Kari raised an eyebrow.

"Wanna pick another card?" Mimi smiled, ignoring Kari's confusion.

"Fine, but I have to get going after this. I don't want to be a sitting duck," Kari sighed.

"Yay!" Mimi clapped her hands. "Face up," she pointed to the card Kari chose. "Oh...ahh," she stared at the card.

"What is it?" Kari asked.

"There's a book!" Mimi rubbed her temples. "Keep your eyes peeled for a book."

"What kind of book?" Kari looked around the room.

"I have no idea," Mimi shrugged.

"Uh..., thanks for the help?" Kari got up from her seat.

"No problem!" Mimi smiled.

"Bye," Kari waved at her and left the room. "What does she mean by a book? That someone will kill me with it? Or that it's lying around the house somewhere, which means that it's not the weapon?" Kari pondered as she walked around the house. "Wait, why am I taking Mimi seriously? It's not like she's really a psychic," Kari said. She walked inside a room and moved her flashlight around the room to examine the room.

"_Kari..._"

"Who's there?" Kari's voice began to tremble.

"_My heart breaks a little more each time I see your face..._"

"Davis?" Kari pressed her fist against her chest.

"_Your allure captivates me, yet it pains me at the same time.._."

"Look Davis! I'm sorry! I was stupid, okay? Can you stop messing with me now?" Kari heaved.

"_No.._."

"No? Why not?" Kari began to whimper.

"_Because I'm not Davis_."

"Ahhhh!" Kari shrieked.

Right behind her was Kouichi, who was wearing a white dress suit. "Kari," his mouth formed into a bleak smile.

"White presence...," Kari sounded out of breath.

"What? Are you okay?" Kouichi advanced toward her.

"No, get away from me...," Kari stammered.

"What's wrong?" Kouichi had a somber look on his face.

"Nothing," Kari took a couple of steps backwards.

"Then why are you backing away from me?" Kouichi looked at her with his sad eyes.

"Me? I'm not doing-ahhhh!" Kari tumbled backwards.

"Kari!" Kouichi reached for her wrist but she yanked it away before he could grab her.

"I'm fine, I just tripped on this...book. Mimi said something about a book," Kari picked up a thick book and dusted it to see the cover. "_The Ford Encyclopedia of Car Models, Volume Thirteen_..."

"Kari?" Kouichi stood above her.

"So this encyclopedia can't be the weapon...," Kari took the mini pencil out of her pocket and marked her checklist.

"Weapon?" Kouichi asked.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're in the clear," Kari inched further away from Kouichi.

"Do you seriously think I would kill you?" Kouichi trembled.

"I don't know what to think, except that I want you to get away from me," Kari shielded herself by holding her arms in front of her.

"I would never dream of hurting you, no matter how many times you've hurt me," Kouichi extended his hand toward Kari.

"No...," Kari leaned against a bookshelf and felt it shake. The bookshelf leaned back, causing Kari into a black hole. "Ahhhhh!" she screamed and the bookshelf dropped back down into its standing position.

"Kari!" Kouichi screamed.

* * *

_Zoe Cam_

"Can't wait to see the look on her face when I prove her wrong again!" Zoe grumbled. She pressed the button on her ladybug keychain and walked into the nearest room. "What's this?"

There were a lot of pretentious paintings on the wall and the furniture was even more pretentious. The dining table was made out of smooth marble, the chairs looked like mini thrones, each chair with a gold-plated frame and velvet cushions, and the dining table was set up with expensive-looking silverware and a lit candlestick.

"_Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight..._"

"Uhhh...," Zoe shook as a light beamed in her direction.

"_And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents - your dinner!_"

"Ahhh!" one of the dining chairs slid from behind Zoe and she involuntary fell on it. The chair then moved back to the head of the table.

"_Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test, tie your napkin round your neck, cherie and we'll provide the rest!_"

"Hkkk!" Zoe choked. A cloth napkin appeared and tied itself to her neck.

"Stop! I want to speak to the chef!" Zoe struggled to say.

"_Fine_..."

*_thunk_*

The chair disappeared from underneath Zoe and the napkin untied itself from her neck.

"_Here I am!_"

"Matt?" Zoe called out.

"_Do I sound like Matt?_"

"Kinda...," Zoe winced.

"_I take offense to that!_"

"Takuya?" Zoe gasped.

"Yep! The one and only! The guy whose handsomeness cannot be replicated by anyone else!" Takuya grinned.

"How did we successfully save the digital world when our team had a conceited idiot, a conceited jackass, a crybaby, and a fat pervert? I swear, me and Kouichi were the only normal ones," Zoe huffed.

"Come, come! I'm gonna give you a special tour of my kitchen!" Takuya whisked Zoe out of the dining room.

"This kitchen...it's an actual kitchen, right? It's not an innuendo, is it?" Zoe stammered.

"I don't know what an innuendo is, but here we are!" Takuya pushed Zoe into double doors.

"Whoa!" Zoe looked at all of the pasta dishes on the prep table. "Did you make all of this by yourself?"

"Yeah! Wanna take a bite?" Takuya pulled a chair over to Zoe.

"I guess...it does smell delicious," Zoe eyed the pasta.

"Okay, I'll be right back!" Takuya stepped out of the kitchen.

"What if this is a trap?" Zoe got up from her seat and walked around the kitchen. She searched through all of the cabinets for any incriminating objects. Zoe didn't feel at ease by the various knives, straining pots, spatulas, a slow cooker, cheese graters, despite the fact that those items weren't on her checklist.

"Zoe!" Takuya burst into the kitchen.

"Ahhh! It's not what it looks like!" Zoe screamed.

"Isn't that adorable? Zoe's eager to cook," Takuya pulled on Zoe's vest.

"What are you doing?" Zoe tried to get away from Takuya's grip.

"What? Just relax! Why don't you just enjoy some cuisine? I would give you some wine to go with the pasta, but alas, we are underage, so I brought the next best thing!" Takuya grinned.

"What?"

"Some hot coffee!" Takuya brought a coffee mug over to Zoe.

"Coffee doesn't really go with pasta...," Zoe looked inside the mug.

"Why not? Coffee goes with anything! See?" Takuya pointed at the coffee stain on his red chef's suit.

"He can't be the murderer...he's just way too dumb," Zoe muttered.

"You should try some linguine! I made it some clam sauce I invented. Try it!" Takuya slid a plate in front if her.

"Mmm," Zoe scooped a forkful of pasta in her mouth.

*_whooosh_*

A gust of wind entered the kitchen and blew the candles out. "Okay, who turned the lights off in here?"

"Mmmmpk! Mnmphk! I can feel it moving in my mouth!" Zoe began to panic, her mouth full of linguine.

"That's because you're chewing it!" Takuya said.

*_crash_*

"No, it's not that! Pffft," Zoe spit the pasta out.

"Gross!"

"Kari?" Zoe gasped.

The candles relit themselves and the kitchen was visible again.

"Ahh ha ha ha ha! Look at you! You have chewed up food all over you!" Takuya pointed and laughed at Kari. She was covered in slimy pasta.

"For once, I'm happy you're here," Zoe wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"How did you even end up here?" Takuya asked.

"I have no idea," Kari tried to swipe the gooey pasta off her face. "I was in the study and I fell into a tunnel, or something like that."

"I don't see a tunnel," Zoe looked all around the kitchen.

"Hey guys?" Takuya said.

"What?"

"I think this house is haunted! Ahhhh!" Takuya ran around the kitchen and bumped into a refrigerator.

"He's not the killer, is he?" Kari asked.

"Nope," Zoe shook her head.

* * *

_Kazu Cam_

"I can't believe they ditched me! When trapped inside a scary house, you never split up, never! Otherwise bad things will happen...that's the carnal rule!" Kazu shook.

"Do you even know what the word carnal means?"

"Ahhh! Wait, it's just you...I don't know your name. Do I know you from somewhere? Cause you look familiar," Kazu squinted his eyes.

"I'm Cody," Cody sighed. He was wearing what appeared to be an oversized, green graduation gown.

"Oh yeah! You were on that team with all of those geniuses and Joe!" Kazu tapped his head. "And you're the Jew!"

"Yeah, that's me...," Cody shook his head. "But for this challenge, I'm supposed to be Reverend Green, whatever that means."

"Wa-wa-wait! Did you say you're a reverend? Jewish guys can be priests?" Kazu said.

"No, no they can't," Cody sighed.

"Then why-," Kazu got cut off

"Because Gennai's an idiot," Cody said.

"Father Cody!" Kazu gasped.

"I am not your father," Cody said matter-of-factly.

"I know you're not really my dad because I never go to Jew church, but...," Kazu started to say.

"Okay, I'm leaving," Cody rubbed his forehead and walked away.

"Daddy Cody! Don't leave me here by myself! I need your Jew powers to protect me from ghosts!" Kazu yelled. "Can I at least get a bottle of holy water? Or maybe one of those beaded cross necklaces? Something?"

_*cricket cricket*_

"A no would have surmised," Kazu grumbled.

"Do you even know what surmised means?"

"Who's there?" Kazu pointed his flashlight around the hallway. "Gah! I see a bright light...I must be at the end of the tunnel!" he panicked.

"No, you doof. You're just at the end of the hallway."

"Rika! I missed you!" Kazu ran up to her and gave her a tight hug.

"Don't touch me," Rika pushed him away.

"Guess what? I ran into Reverend Green, who happens to be Cody! And I know he's not the killer!" Kazu said.

"Oh boy. How do you know that?" Rika asked.

"Because Cody is a priest, and priests don't do bad things like kill people, so that means Cody isn't the murderer!" Kazu had a smug look on his face.

"That is the stupidest reasoning ever, but I agree with you on this," Rika said.

"You agree with _moi_?" Kazu pointed his finger at his chest.

"I agree for a different reason. If Cody was the killer, he would have killed you. You are annoying," Rika shook her head.

"You raise some excellent points there," Kazu tapped his chin. "So did you find any clues?"

"If I did, why would I tell you? We're on opposite teams, remember?" Rika scowled.

"Right...so where are you go...Rika?" Kazu spun around, but Rika was gone. "Seriously? I hate being left by myself in the dark!" he whined.

"_But you're not alone..._"

"Ahhh!" Kazu shrieked. "Rika?"

"_Do I sound like Rika?_"

"Depends. Are you Rika?" Kazu asked.

"_You're an idiot_."

"Ahhhh!" Kazu screamed. He saw a shadow appear on the opposite wall.

"_You might want to run away. I'll give you a head start. One...two..._"

"Ahhhh!" Kazu yelled at the top of his lungs and ran into the nearest room. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it, trying to catch his breath. "What is this?" he walked over to a sturdy oak table in the middle of the room. Lying on top of the desk was a heavy book.

"_It was on the floor._"

"Gahhhh!" Kazu freaked out. "Kouichi?"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you," Kouichi said.

"Well you did. Hey buddy, what happened to you? You look like a ghost," Kazu asked.

"It must be my white tuxedo," Kouichi shrugged.

"Hmm, so you have to be Mrs. White," Kazu flicked at his checklist.

"Sure, I guess," Kouichi shrugged.

"So that also means you can't be the killer since you could have killed me by now if you were the killer," Kazu said.

"Sure...," Kouichi looked confused.

"Okay, then carry on!" Kazu said.

"I will," Kouichi slowly nodded his head. He scooped up the heavy book and left the room.

"Three clues down, a bunch more to go! So far I found Green, White, and what appears to be an encyclopedia...now where else should I look?" Kazu said to himself as he walked into another room. "Whoa, what the hell? Wasn't I just here a couple of seconds ago?" Kazu moved his flashlight around to get a better look at the room. Indeed, this room looked just like the study, except that all of the walls were covered by bookshelves and there were no couches. "Kouichi? If you're here say that you're here!"

After getting no response, Kazu began to whimper. "Great, I must be in a labyrinth!"

_*swish*_ A book slid across the room and stopped at Kazu's feet.

"What's this?" Kazu picked up the book. "You might need this," Kazu read the paw print sticky note tacked on the cover of the book. Kazu peeled the sticker off and frowned. "A dictionary? How is this going to help me win the challenge?" Kazu scoffed as he tossed the dictionary over his shoulder.

* * *

_Marcus Cam_

"So far, so good," Marcus confidently strutted down the hallway. "I haven't found any clues yet, but whatever! Nobody can scare away the ultimate fighter, which is me by the way! Maybe I'll find something in this room," Marcus peeked his head through the doorway to see a soft pink glow. "What the hell...?"

"_Want to play a game of cards?_"

"Mimi?" Marcus raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's not Mimi, it's Madame Rose!" Mimi indignantly said.

"Okay, okay, sheesh! I'll play some cards with you, but only for a quick second," Marcus sighed.

"Awesome!" Mimi squealed. "Now come! Destiny calls!"

"Alright...," Marcus reluctantly sat down at the poker table with Mimi. "What game are we playing? Blackjack, poker?"

"This isn't a game!" Mimi's hands hovered over her pink orb.

"Then what is it? Are you like a fortune teller? Because there are cookies that can do the same job, and they're delicious," Marcus said.

"You don't think I'm delicious?" Mimi pouted.

"Uh...what? Do I have to answer that?" Marcus blinked.

"Shhh...I can see something in my crystal ball," Mimi hushed him.

"That's a crystal ball? Looks more like a rubber dodgeball with a light inside of it," Marcus poked at the orb.

"You don't believe in magic, do you?" Mimi sighed.

"What kind of magic are we talking? The kind that Gennai puts in his brownies?" Marcus asked.

"I'm talking about the supernatural, duh!" Mimi scoffed.

"Supernatural? Isn't that stuff fake?" Marcus snorted.

"Here," Mimi shuffled a deck of cards and spread them across the table. "Pick a card and flip it face up."

"Okay," Marcus shrugged.

"Ooh...," Mimi gasped.

"What is it? Am I going to be pregnant soon?" Marcus smirked.

"No, something worse...Baker's Dozen," Mimi had an ominous look on her face.

"So I'll get to eat? I like that!" Marcus rubbed his hands.

"No, Baker's Dozen!" Mimi tapped at the card.

"Okay, Baker's Dozen! What's that gotta do with me?" Marcus scratched his head.

"I dunno," Mimi said.

"You don't know?" Marcus shot her a skeptical look.

"Not a clue," Mimi said.

"Okay...I'm gonna leave now. My brain hurts," Marcus groaned.

"Bye Marcus!" Mimi cheerfully waved goodbye.

"I don't know how Izzy could put up with her," Marcus ran his fingers through his hair. He leisurely walked down the hallway and entered the swanky dining room. "Huh. Seems like someone gets a lot of company," Marcus walked around the dining table. He sat down on the biggest chair, which was at the head of the table. There were six chairs on each side of him. "I bet this guy likes being at the center of attention," he propped his feet up on the table.

"_Marcus! Take your feet off the table!_"

"Gah! Mom?" Marcus slid his feet off and sat up straight.

"_I'm not your mom! I'm your conscience..._"

"Conscience?" Marcus said.

"_Yeah. It's that thing that tells you what's wrong and what's right_."

"Is that just another nickname for Thomas?" Marcus raised an eyebrow.

"_No_."

"So you're not my mom, and you're not Thomas, then what the hell are you?" Marcus yelled.

"_I already told you that. I'm your conscience_."

"I know that! But where have you been all my life?" Marcus said.

"_I've always been around. I just never bothered to do my job, since Thomas and your mom did all the work for me_."

"Niiiiice," Marcus said flatly. "Well, I'm done here. Nice talking to you, conscience!"

"_Hopefully we meet again soon_."

"Sure," Marcus got up from his seat and looked at the dining room setup. "Why isn't there another chair across the big guy's? That makes it an odd number. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... 11... 12... oh my god!" Marcus brought his finger to his mouth and bit it. "Thirteen...calm down, Marcus... Thirteen is only a number. It's just a number. Yeah, that's all it is. A number, hah hah!" Marcus laughed nervously. "There aren't any clues here anyway. Yeah," he slowly retreated out of the hallway.

*_clank_*

"Oww, what the hell?" Marcus turned around to see a mahogany cabinet. A plastic vase bounced to the floor and a bunch of candy canes spilled out. "Ha, funny. Candy canes? Really?" Marcus said flatly. "1... 2... 3...," Marcus put the candy canes back in one by one. "11... 12... Are you freakin' serious?" Marcus dropped the last candy cane to the floor. He quickly got up to his feet and dashed out of the dining room. He kept running until he found another room.

*_boom_*

Marcus tripped on something and crashed to the floor. "A dictionary?" he picked up the book and eyed it strangely. "_The Concise Archive of All of the Words Used in Time, Edition Thir...teen_," Marcus threw the book across the other side of the room. "This is getting ridiculous!" Marcus growled. He picked himself up from the floor and walked over to a table to steady himself. A book was resting on the tabletop. "_The Ford Encyclopedia of Car Models, Volume Thir...teen_?! Okay, someone's messing with me!" he yelled.

* * *

_Matt Cam_

"_Okay, someone's messing with me_!"

"Is that Marcus? Sounds like he's scared," Matt smirked. He wandered around the corridor until he saw a faint green light coming from one of the rooms. "My mom always told me not to go inside rooms with mysterious green lights...gross, I sound like TK! Well, since my mom isn't here, I'm going in!" Matt stuck his chest out and marched into the room.

"_Salutations_!"

"Gah!" Matt shrieked. "You're the killer, I knew it!"

"Really? I don't appreciate you saying that," Yolei crossed her arms. She was wearing a light purple lab coat and dark purple gloves. A pair of purple goggles hung on her neck.

"What are you gonna do about it? Kill me?" Matt shuddered.

"Hmm...," Yolei picked up an insulation pipe.

"Nooo! Please don't hit me!" Matt yelled.

"I'm not gonna hit you," Yolei threw the pipe down on the floor, exasperated.

"Are you gonna hurt me in some other way?" Matt squeaked.

"Do you want me to?" Yolei flashed a sinister smile.

"No thank you," Matt gulped.

"Good, because I'm in the middle of something important," Yolei picked up a watering can.

"Planting?" Matt gave Yolei a quizzical look.

"Not just planting...," Yolei hummed.

"Wait. Is that pot?" Matt looked all around the conservatory.

"The proper term is _cannabis_," Yolei corrected.

"Okay...," Matt cringed.

"Shhh, don't be too loud," Yolei said softly.

"Why? Scared the cops will bust you?" Matt asked.

"Please! I can take those pigs down!" Yolei scoffed. She walked over to a colorful stereo player and pressed a button. Lullaby music started playing and Yolei gave Matt a suggestive look. "We could use some mood.

"Uh, are you insane? What kind of freak wants to do it to Rock-a-bye Baby?" Matt leaned against the door.

"Not everyone wants to do it with you," Yolei turned her back away from Matt. "Even I have standards. This is for the plants. They're at their baby stage right now...," she lovingly tended to her tiny plants.

"I can't decide what's creepier. Horny Yolei or gardening Yolei," Matt muttered.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Yolei asked.

"No, you must be hearing things," Matt coughed. "I know she can't kill me with an insulation pipe, but that doesn't mean that she couldn't kill me with something else," he skimmed through his list.

"Hey Matt, could you pass me the-"

"No!" Matt interrupted.

"You didn't even let me finish asking the question," Yolei pressed her lips together.

"I'm not going to assist you in your murder of me!" Matt shrieked.

"Do you seriously think the world revolves around you?" Yolei said in disgust.

"Hey! That is not-AHHH!" Matt stepped on a wobbly tile and the floor broke underneath his feet. "Yolei! Hellllp!" Matt clutched to the edge of the hole in the floor.

"Shhh! You're gonna wake the babies up!" Yolei kicked his hands.

"Owww!" Matt let go of the floor and fell into a black pit. "AHHHHH!"

"Ugh. Should have gotten that floor fixed," Yolei shook her head.

"Ahhhhh!" Matt screamed until he landed face first into a couch. "Oomph!"

"Ahhhhhh!" everyone rushed into the room.

"What's going on?" Takato sat up and yawned.

"Takato?" Matt got off of him and stood at the side of the couch.

"The killer is here!" Kazu whisper-yelled.

"Of course he's here!" Rika stomped her foot.

"But we finally figured out who it was!" Zoe said.

"Look! We all ran into Scarlet, White, Beacock (hi Takato), and Green, so it's down to Plum and Mustard!" Marcus pointed at his checklist.

"No, it's not Plum," Matt said.

"How do you know that?" Kari put her hads on her hips.

"Because she was too busy planting weed to kill me," Matt said.

"What?" Zoe gave Matt a quizzical look.

"Who cares? All that matters is to get away from this guy!" Rika yelled.

"It's too late for that!"

"Ahhhh!" everyone clutched on to each other.

"_I don't care about any of you. I'm only coming for Blondie!_" a menacing shadow advanced toward the kids.

* * *

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* * *

"Ahhhh!"

"I'm sorry Tai! I didn't mean to ruin your life! I don't even like Sora like that, and trust me, those feelings are mutual!" Matt rambled.

"You, Sora, and Tai?" everyone shrieked.

"Yeah. It's just some stupid love triangle. Gets old after a while," Kari rolled her eyes.

"Not as old as you, TK, and Davis," Matt argued back.

"No, it's a love square because of Kouichi!" Zoe said.

"Like you're one to talk! How about you, Takuya, Koji, JP, and Kouichi?" Kari spat back.

"Hah, you wish! They're just friends. I don't lead them on like you do!" Zoe yelled.

"Enough!"

"Ahhhh!" everyone screamed.

"Time to cut the chit chat and start cutting you up!" the shadow growled.

_*snip snip*_

"Ahhh! Run away!" Matt screamed.

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Zoe leaped.

"Got you now!"

"Ahhhhhh! Why me?"

*_clap clap_*

The lights turned on and everyone gasped. "Lily?!"

"Yep! Here for the rescue!" Lily proudly smiled.

"Rescue? Don't you mean you're in for the kill?" Kazu asked.

"Just because I'm wearing an orange prisoner jumpsuit doesn't mean I'm a murderer. That's very stereotypical, you know!" Lily frowned.

"_She's right!_"

"Rufus?!" everyone screamed.

"That's my name, now don't wear it out!" Rufus held up a pair of bloody scissors.

"Owww..." Matt held on to his face.

"Matt! Are you okay?" Kari asked.

"Of course I am! I'm only covering my face cause it feels good," Matt sarcastically said.

"Yeah! Are you stupid or something?" Rika scoffed at Kari.

"Let me see," Lily walked over to Matt and pulled his hand away from his face.

"Gross!" everyone said in unison.

"Wow, that's some serious damage," Lily winced. Matt had a huge gash on the side of his face.

"I meant to go for the other Blondie!" Rufus hurled his scissors in Zoe's direction.

"Hey hey hey!" Gennai grabbed Rufus by the head. "Where's Jeri? I thought she was the one that wanted to kill the kids!"

"Kill?! Gennai!" Lily growled.

"Well, you see, you weren't here to come up with the challenges, so I had to make up my own, so technically, it's your fault Matt almost got killed and lost the competition," Gennai said.

"I lost?" Matt's eyes began to water.

"What?! Don't you dare pin this on me!" Lily poked Gennai in the chest. "You were supposed to take care of the show while I was away!"

"Did I seriously lose this challenge?" Matt's voice squeaked.

"Yes. You almost got killed, and I can't have an almost-killed person in the competition! One false move and you could be completely dead, and I would face some serious lawsuits!" Lily yelled. "Now where the hell is Jeri?"

"I dunno. None of us have seen her," Marcus shrugged.

* * *

_In a supply closet in a remote place..._

"Mmmm! Mmmmm!" Jeri struggled to scream through her gag. She kicked and bucked but she was tied down to a chair.

* * *

"Oh Jesus," Lily rubbed her forehead.

"Ahhh! He bit me!" Gennai threw Rufus down to the floor.

"Serves you right!" Lily yelled.

"I will never be tamed, never!" Rufus let out a sinister laugh. "And I will come back for you, Blondie! That's a promise!"

"What did I ever do to you?!" Matt shrieked.

"You got in my way but I was talking to the other Blondie!" Rufus ran away.

"Someone get that puppet!" Lily commanded.

* * *

_Last Words..._

"My face, my beautiful face! It's ruined...," Matt sobbed.

"You know looks aren't the most important things in life," Henry said.

"What would you know? You never had girls going crazy for you!" Matt snorted.

"Are you kidding! Look at that kid. He's got a nice hair color," Joe said.

"Owww! It burns!" Matt screamed.

"Calm down! This Windex is just disinfecting your wound!" Joe said.

"Are you freaking serious?!" Matt jumped off from the bench.

"What? It says it kills up to 99.99% of germs! I think that's as disinfecting as anything will get," Joe squirted some Windex in the air.

"And you're supposed to be a doctor?!" Matt shrieked.

"I know what I'm doing. Now stay still while I put these My Little Pony bandages on you," Joe calmly said.

"Don't you think he needs stitches?" Henry said.

"Are you trying to kill me? Because I've already went through that!" Matt tried to get away from Joe.

"And this is the life of a cameraman. No wonder everyone else quit," Henry sighed.


	27. BMX-treme Golf Cart Racing!

**Recap:** The kids lodge in a creepy mansion, where Gennai tells them a crappy scary story about a murderer on the news. Little do they know that they'll be facing their biggest fears, all while being locked inside the mansion with a former contestant who's blood-thirsty for revenge. On the bright side, Gennai gives the kids a list to help narrow down the possibilities. On the not-so-bright side, Gennai's clues were so useless, they might as well have been written in Digicode. At first, the contestants are divided boys versus girls, but as the game progresses, they decide to split up. Kazu misuses words, Rika says she's not scared of ghosts, Kari runs into a ghost from the past, a mysterious voice speaks to Marcus, Zoe gets the culinary experience of a lifetime, and Matt finds a greenhouse filled with...greens (and it's not the kind you normally eat, if you get my drift). Nobody found the killer on their separate journeys, but once everyone is grouped up, the killer appears. And they say there's safety in numbers! It doesn't matter, because the killer is only out to get a certain contestant, but he misses and accidently hurts Matt. Matt is sent home for almost getting killed, but he came out of the competition a Scarface...literally.

* * *

**Lily's Contribution Corner: **This episode is brought to you by Eaten Alive By Boredom, founder of _Boredom Bites_, the nation's favorite library cafe! Do you hate boredom? Do you love to eat? If you say yes to any of these questions, you'll love to eat at Boredom Bites. Visit us and enjoy our delectable varieties of mini cafe-favorites from coffee, hot chocolate, mini-biscotti, mini-cupcakes, mini turkey club sandwiches, and oh hell-I'm not going to read the whole damn menu, so just stop on by and read it for yourself! Does reading at the library suck? Then put that boring book down and hop on in to our cafe! _Boredom Bites_, doesn't it?

**BMXtreme Golf Kart Racing!**

"Hmm...," Kari hummed as a manicurist painted her nails.

"Eh," Zoe sighed and loudly flipped through a magazine.

"Ugh," Rika rolled her eyes and huffed. She adjusted her headphones and turned up the music on her MP3 player.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Yippee-dah-freakin-do-dah, we won the spa day," Rika rolled her eyes and twirled her pointer finger in the air.

"You sound particularly thrilled about that," Henry flatly said.

"You would think that going to a spa would make you more relaxed, but it only made me more angry," Rika grit her teeth.

"No offense, but what doesn't make you angry?" Henry said.

"You didn't...until now," Rika growled.

* * *

Marcus and Kazu were sitting on beaten-up armchairs in a dimly-lit rec room. The walls were made out of wood panelling and the moldy carpet was a moss green shade. The only sources of light were the neon signs on the walls and the flickering bar lamps hanging from the ceiling.

"So...whatcha doing?" Kazu asked.

"Trying to watch TV," Marcus grunted.

"It's pretty fuzzy," Kazu noted.

"That's what happens when the TV has freakin' antennas!" Marcus snapped.

"Soh-_ree_! It's not like there's anything I can do about it," Kazu made a face.

"Actually, I think there is...," Marcus smiled.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kazu flinched.

"No reason," Marcus cracked his knuckles.

* * *

"Hey girls! How's the spa day going?" Gennai walked into the room.

"It feels like an eternity in here," Zoe sighed.

"I'm glad to see you're enjoying this, but like all good things, eternity must come to an end," Gennai said.

"Hmm," Rika pressed her lips together and shook her head.

"But eternity never-," Kari was cut off.

"Nuh uh, not worth it," Rika grabbed Kari's arm down.

"Let's hurry up. The boys are waiting for us," Gennai clapped his hands. "I hope you girls liked getting gussied up and pampered because things are only going to get tougher from here."

"Yeah," Zoe nodded.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Final five!" Zoe gasped. "I can't help but to feel even more nervous with every challenge that passes by. Look!" she holds her hand up horizontally. "I'm so shaky! I just have to keep telling myself that I'm in the top five. I've made it this far, I can definitely go further. I can taste the victory!"

"Does it taste like chocolate?"

"Eeeep! JP?!" Zoe jumped.

"Hi Zoe," JP waved at her.

* * *

"What the...," the girls gaped. Kazu stood on top of the TV in an arabesque position, trying to hold up the antennae ears.

"..._and Gomez just *static* Harris *static* on the floor!_"

"Go Gomez, go Gomez, go!" Marcus swung his fists in the air.

_*static*_

"Aww, Kazu! Why'd you move?" Marcus yelled.

"I'm getting tired," Kazu whined.

"Stop complaining and stretch your left arm up a little higher," Marcus said.

"Okay," Kazu pouted.

"_Oww, that's gotta hurt! Harris hasn't punched that hard in at least 15 years! I don't know if Gomez will be able to bounce back after that hit!_"

"Noooo! Get your ass back up, Gomez!" Marcus jumped in his seat.

"_One...two...thr-*static*-five *static*..._"

"You've got to be kidding me! This is a bad time for the signal to break up!" Marcus growled.

"I'm trying to!" Kazu stood higher up on his toes.

"_Eight...ni-*static*..._"

"Noooo!" Marcus punched the armrest of his seat.

"So who won?" Kazu asked.

"I don't know, you idiot!" Marcus threw the remote control in Kazu's direction.

"Whoa!"

_*crash*_

"Ow...," Kazu groaned.

"I got my daily dose of Vitamin K-O," Gennai grinned.

"Shut up! Gomez could have sprung up in the last two seconds!" Marcus stood up on the chair.

"I wasn't talking about the stupid boxing match, I was talking about KO, as in what happens to Kazu every day," Gennai said.

"That's true. He does get beaten up a lot," Kari nodded.

"Can you blame him?" Gennai smirked.

"Actually, I can. It's his fault I beat him up," Rika coldly said.

"Yeah, he isn't really that blameless at all," Marcus gave Kazu a disapproving look.

"You do ask for it," Zoe hummed.

"Hey! I resent that," Kazu whined.

"And everyone resents you," Gennai smiled. "It's pretty hard to find someone to trust when all the people you know can't stand you."

"What did that have to do with anything?" Marcus raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing really. You just have to pick a former contestant to help you out with tomorrow's challenge. You might want to pick someone who you can trust to help you win," Gennai pulled a giant manila envelope out of his robe. He opened it up over a pool table and a bunch of photographs fell out. "Now, when I say ready, just grab the photo of the person you want to pick. First come, first serve, and once the photo is in someone's hands, you can't snatch it away from them," Gennai neatly arranged the pictures on the table. "Okay, ready!"

The kids ran over to the pool table but they abruptly stopped, except for Zoe and Kari.

_*slap*_

"Owww!" Zoe sucked on her finger. "She gave me a paper cut!"

"Isn't it more like a photo cut? Cause she-"

"Shut up, Kazu!" Rika yelled.

"Yes!" Kari grabbed a picture of Sora and handed it to Gennai.

"Congrats! Sora is Kari's helper. Now, who are you guys going to pick?" Gennai asked.

"I don't know...," Zoe, Rika, Marcus, and Kazu said in unison.

"Well, I'm not going to wait all day for your decisions. I'm only giving you five minutes, and if you don't pick someone in that time, I'll randomly pick for you," Gennai said.

"You should choose wisely," Kari said.

"Yeah...," everyone blankly stared at the photographs in front of them.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"She did that in purpose! She knows that Sora is the only one I can completely trust! I can't think of anyone else who would want to help me win," Zoe slammed her fist down on her palm.

"That's what happens when you're mean to people."

"Henry? Is that you?" Zoe gasped.

"Yes."

"Oh my gosh! Thank god it's you and not JP!" Zoe hugged him.

"Okay...," Henry struggled to hold on to his camera.

* * *

"How else am I going to put this...?" Kazu scratched the back of his head. "I'm so screwed!"

"How did you make it this far?" Henry shook his head.

"Don't be bitter just because you couldn't make it past some temple maze!" Kazu flipped him off.

* * *

"Great! It's nearly impossible to pick someone useful. Most of them are stupid, helpless, or the mix of both," Rika huffed.

"You shouldn't talk about people like that, Rika."

"Shut up, Henry. I was going to choose you, but you're too therapisty and pacifist. What good are you going to do if you don't believe in fighting?" Rika scoffed.

"Fighting and competition are two different things, Rika," Henry sighed.

"Then what about that Tai Chi stuff you do?" Rika smirked.

"It's more of a self-defense than an excuse to beat the crap out of someone," Henry said.

"Pacifist," Rika snorted.

* * *

"There's one guy I can always count on to help me win," Marcus smugly crossed his arms.

"Reminder, you're supposed to pick a human, not a Digimon partner," Henry said.

"Of course I know that! What? You don't think I can trust people?!" Marcus yelled.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I just naturally assumed you would be talking about Agumon because you guys seem to share a strong bond," Henry said.

"We totally do. We are the ultimate team!" Marcus confidently jabbed his thumb against his chest.

* * *

_The Next Day..._

"Here, put these on," Lily threw jumpsuits at the contestants.

"You really do like to roleplay, don't you?" Marcus raised an eyebrow at Lily.

"What's wrong with that? It's like celebrating Halloween every day!" Lily pumped her arms up in the air.

"So what are we going to do for this challenge?" Kari held her pink jumpsuit in front of her.

"Are we skydiving?" Kazu guessed.

"Nope," Lily shook her head.

"We're gonna have a hip-hop dance competition," Kazu guessed again.

"God no! None of you look like good dancers," Lily grimaced.

"Are we gonna have to paint your house? Cause that's just jacked," Kazu asked.

"Damn, should have thought of that for a challenge," Lily muttered to herself. "No, you guys will be racing!"

"I definitely have it in the bag! I get lots of speeding tickets!" Marcus stuck his chest out in pride.

"For this challenge, you guys will be racing each other on this BMX track," Lily pointed at the dirt track. "I'll elaborate some more soon. For now, let's just bring in your partners!" Lily let out a sharp whistle. On cue, their partners walked over toward the contestants, pulling rickety golf carts with them.

"What...," Kari's jaw dropped.

"The...," Zoe said, dumbfounded.

"Heck...?" Rika looked disgusted.

"Friggin' sweet!" Kazu exclaimed.

"Only you would be excited about that," Marcus shook his head.

"Sora!" Kari ran up and hugged her.

"Good to see you again," Sora patted Kari on the head.

"Hi Sora," Zoe meekly waved to Sora.

"Hey Zoe!" Sora beamed.

"Wassup, my man Thomas!" Marcus bumped fists with Thomas.

"Ready to help me win?" Kazu winked at Ryo.

"Eh," Ryo shrugged.

"You better not screw anything up, got that?" Rika growled.

"Hi to you too, Rika," Takato shot her a look of disbelief.

"Thanks for coming," Zoe said.

"Thanks for picking me. Honestly, I'm surprised you chose me," Izzy said.

"Yeah, me too. Why did you pick Izzy of all people?" Thomas asked.

"As much as I love the Frontier gang, I couldn't rely on them for help; they would only screw things up. Izzy was a logical choice. He's the only other person who was nicest to me in the competition, and I know he's a reliable and smart guy," Zoe said.

"How quaint, we've got Team Izumi in the house!" Gennai put his arms around Zoe and Izzy.

"Team Umizoomi? Sometimes we watch that show in class," Kazu said.

"You do?" Lily gave Kazu a quizzical look.

"Ms. Asagi teaches third grade now," Ryo explained.

"You're all in third grade?" Lily pointed at the Tamers kids.

"No, we're in seventh grade. Kazu and Kenta had to take a special evaluation test and they were placed in third grade," Takato answered.

"Thanks for getting my dirty laundry out in the air like that, chumley," Kazu crossed his arms.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm not surprised at that news," Sora gently placed her hand on Kazu's shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure people already figured out there was something wrong with you, so it's not much of a shock to anyone," Thomas said.

"You guys are just too nice! I'm so glad to be surrounded by such supportive people like you!" Kazu sniffled.

"Is he for real?" Izzy asked.

"Yes," Ryo shook his head.

"Now that all of you guys are here, I'm going to explain the challenge a little more. As you can see, you guys will be racing with these awesomely secondhand golf carts!" Lily tilted her head toward the hooptie-like carts.

"Why golf carts?" Zoe asked.

"Because none of you have driver licenses," Lily said.

"I do! Just ignore the mean red letters that are covering it up," Marcus held up a card that had the word "_Suspended!_" stamped on it.

"Technically Marcus, you don't necessarily have a license since it's suspended," Lily put her hands on her hips. "Because we have to use golf carts, riding this track is going to be a little harder than it looks. To sort of compensate for that, we built a pit stop checkpoint at the middle of the track, so that you can fix up your cart a little, and it's highly recommended that you touch it up. When you make it to the pit stop checkpoint, there are going to be cool power-ups waiting for you. The first person to make it to the checkpoint gets to choose three of them, second place gets to pick two power-ups, third place takes the remaining upgrade, and fourth and fifth place gets zilch. From there, when everyone finishes recharging, the race continues on. In true TDI style, the last person to cross the finish line loses and is kicked out of the competition. Is that clear enough for you guys?"

"Yep, sounds clear to me," Marcus crossed his arms.

"Good. Your partners will be waiting for you at the pit stop. And just to make sure they don't sabotage you, the winning contestant's partner will get a $1000 gift card to Boredom Bites," Lily motioned the formers contestants away.

"Psst...," an intern tapped on Lily's shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"Oh...oh damn...thanks," Lily's eyes widened. "Before you guys start, I almost forgot to tell you something minor. You're gonna need these," she threw helmets and scratched-up goggles at everyone.

"I can't see through these. Do we really need to wear them?" Kazu angled his goggles around.

"Yes. We don't want anything to get in your eyes, god forbid. Some of our old contestants will be throwing random objects from the sidelines. They'll be blindfolded though, so they can't purposely make a certain person lose," Lily said.

"I don't need them. I have my own set," Rika held up Takato's goggles.

"I wish a gogglehead would lend me his pair," Kari pouted.

"You had your chance, but you just had to be such a bit-," Zoe was interrupted.

"Okay everyone! Time to get in the carts! Red is Marcus, bronze is Kazu, Kari, Zoe, and Rika, you get the different shades of pink or purple, or whatever the hell those colors are. You know what your trademark colors are. Helmet on, buckle up!" Gennai loudly clapped his hands. "When the light turns green, FLOOR IT!"

"Ready...set...GO!" Lily waved a checkered flag in the air and the golf carts slowly ricocheted past her.

"Wow, this is going to be one long race," Gennai commented.

"Tell me about it. We should have gone with the Radio Flyers," Lily sighed.

* * *

"Mwah hah hah hah hah! I'm invincible!" Kazu taunted.

_*splat*_

"Ahhhh! I'm blinded by tomato!" Kazu let go of the wheel and gripped his head. He lost control of the cart and crashed into the barrier.

"Boooo!" the audience jeered.

"Maybe you shouldn't have bragged," Kari giggled as she slowly drove past him.

"These things are so slow!" Rika angrily pounded her fist against her steering wheel.

"I think we'd be faster if we walk," Zoe frowned.

"That's not a bad idea!" Marcus called from behind. He slammed on his brake pedal and hopped off his golf cart. He walked behind it and started to push the cart.

"_Get back in the cart!_"

"What?!" Marcus looked up in the sky.

"_Get back in the cart!_" the loudspeaker repeated.

"Why the hell should I?" Marcus yelled.

_*plunk*_

"Oomph!" Marcus was knocked over by a flying propane tank. "Seriously? Where did someone get this? I don't think it's exactly legal to throw propane tanks at people!"

"_Get back in the cart!_"

"Fine, fine, fine!" Marcus huffed and climbed back inside his cart.

"That musta hurt," Kazu yelled as he drove past Marcus.

"Hey! You were supposed to stay crashed on that wall!" Marcus tried to catch up to Kazu.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary with Lily and Gennai!_

"Wow, five minutes into the game-"

"Five long minutes," Gennai interrupted Lily. "The only exciting thing that's happened so far is Kazu getting hit with a tomato and flying propane tanks."

"It was five long minutes for us, but imagine how Marcus feels. He's in last place," Lily shook her head in pity. "You know what would have been a better-and cheaper idea?"

"What?" Gennai yawned.

"We should have just tied them up like mummies and make them go around the track on their stomachs. It could be like watching an inchworm race," Lily kicked her feet up on the table.

"Uh huh," Gennai pulled out a nail file.

"When I was younger, I used to dig up worms in the dirt and make them race each other," Lily said.

"You still do that!" an older, blonde lady stood behind Lily.

"Ma?" Lily sat up straight in her seat.

"That's right! And take your feet off that table! Did anybody teach you any manners?" Lily's mom stood akimbo.

"Not really. That was kinda your job," Lily shrugged.

"Don't talk back to me, young lady!" Lily's mom yanked at Lily's ear.

"I am not a young lady, I am a grown woma-_ow ow ow, let go_!" Lily kicked and bucked.

"If only your brain was as smart as your mouth! Maybe then, you wouldn't have picked a stupid degree like Sociology!" Lily's mom twisted her ear harder. "Look where you ended up! You might as well be bartending at a hole-in-the-wall Irish pub!"

"So maybe this is where Lily gets her abusive side from," Gennai tapped his fingers on the table.

"And you!" Lily's mom let go and pointed at Gennai. "Stop doing that! That sound is annoying!"

"You mean this...?" Gennai drummed his fingers against the table.

"Yes that!" Lily's mom growled.

"Hey! Don't talk to him like that!" Lily yelled.

"Why not?" Lily's mom crossed her arms.

"Because he works for me! Only I'm allowed to yell at him!" Lily stomped her foot.

"Yeah! Wait...," Gennai paused.

"Now get out of here! This is my show, which means no mommies allowed!" Lily yelled.

"That's it, you're grounded!" Lily's mom said.

"Hah, you can't ground me! I don't even have a room," Lily triumphantly stuck her tongue out.

"Damn...," Lily's mom frowned. "Well, I''m leaving."

"Adios!" Lily waved her away. "Now where we?"

"You were talking about how you play with worms because you're weird," Gennai said.

"Funny, I don't remember saying the last part," Lily put her feet back on the table. "So, who do you think has a shot at winning? I've got my money on either Rika or Zoe."

"Money is nice," Gennai blankly continued filing his nails.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?" Lily yelled.

"Uh huh, that's nice," Gennai droned, not paying attention.

"Gimme that!" Lily snatched the nail file from Gennai and threw it.

"Hey! Do you know how long it takes for my nails to be the same shape?" Gennai held up his hands.

"Nobody cares," Lily pouted and slumped back in her seat.

* * *

_*POP*_

"Hot damn!" Rika screamed. She jumped out of the cart and inspected her cart. She pulled a metal spike out of her deflated tire and examined it. "A freakin' nail file? Where did this even come from?"

_*boomph*_

"What the-really?" a big roll of bubble wrap hit Rika in the face.

"Geronimo!" Takuya blindly threw a cinder block in her direction.

"Gah!" Rika ducked in time. She angrily grabbed the roll of bubble wrap and covered the wheel up in it. "That should get me far enough," she grumbled and fastened her seatbelt.

"Look at meee! Like my driving skills?" Kazu rubbed his butt against the steering wheel.

"Cut it out, you doofus! You're only messing the rest of us up!" Marcus kept swerving his cart, trying to avoid crashing into Kazu. On the other hand, the girls had a different approach.

_*crush*_

"Hey!" Kari yelled.

"Hey yourself," Zoe rammed her cart into the side of Kari's cart.

"Stop doing that," Kari nudged her cart to the side.

"I'll stop when you stop," Zoe grunted, continuing to crash into Kari's cart.

"Why don't you both stop and get out of my way?" Rika bumped both carts and drove away from them.

_*clunk clunk clunk*_

"Is that bubble wrap coming out of her tire?" Zoe stared at Rika's cart.

"I don't know, but I'll tell you when I get to the pit stop first! As they say in Italian, ciao bella!" Kari smiled and sped up toward Kari.

"Why you little-uhhaaaa!" Zoe shrieked and punched her steering wheel.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!_

"Wow, that was pretty interesting," Lily peered down at the race track. "Marcus is now in second place, and Zoe's the last one. I guess anything can happen in this tournament."

"I just want to know one thing," Gennai asked.

"What?" Lily turned to face him.

"How the hell is Kazu first when he drives like ass?" Gennai exclaimed.

"You mean he's driving with his ass," Lily said.

"Whatever, same thing. When you drive with your ass, your driving skills are pretty much ass," Gennai said.

"Kinda how like your driving skills are?" Lily smirked.

"Hey, we're not here to talk about my driving, we're here to make fun of the kids' driving," Gennai said defensively.

"That is true," Lily nodded in approval.

_*crash*_

"Oooooh," the audience cringed.

"Wow, that was crazy! Kazu just got knocked in the head with a toaster!" Gennai exclaimed.

"It's not like he's got a brain to damage. He'll be fine," Lily blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"Since Kazu's knocked out, Marcus is first plac-oh, he made it to the pit stop!" Gennai observed.

"The pit-stop! Now, there's a limited number of power-ups at the pit stop. The person to get there first gets to pick what they want first, so Marcus will have an opportunity to make sure he stays first place throughout the race," Lily spoke into her microphone.

"But the real question is will Marcus be smart enough to make the right decisions?" Gennai ominously looked at the camera.

"We'll just have to wait and see," Lily said.

* * *

"Hey, congrats for making it here first," Thomas gave Marcus a small nod.

"So whatcha got for me, Nerdstein?" Marcus winked.

"I really love that term of endearment," Thomas sighed. "But come here," he led Marcus to a booth. "Just pick three power-ups and I'll install them in your cart."

"Awesome!" Marcus rubbed his hands together. "But what do any of these power-ups mean?"

"We've got a Rollcage Shield, which is basically a cage that goes over your cart. It blocks any objects from being thrown at you," a burly guy said.

"Sounds cool...," Marcus rubbed his chin. "What else ya got?"

"We've got Smashing Pumpkins. You get three huge pumpkins and you can fling them at anyone with this huge slingshot. Then we have Rocket Speed, which will give you a little boost. All you gotta do is tie this firecracker onto your cart, light it up, and you'll be zooming...for a couple of seconds. Then there's this..."

"Mr. Bubbles soap?" Marcus held up the pink bottle of bubble bath.

"Yeah! If you're ahead of the crowd, you can keep it that way by leaving behind a Slippery Soap Trail. Nice power-up, don't you think?" the man said.

"I think I'll pass on that one...," Marcus shoved the Mr. Bubble bottle across the counter.

"Alright big boy! Maybe you'd like this Burst Mode. Just attach this to the bottom of the cart and it'll increase your speed by 20%," the man held up a small, orange rectangular device.

"Hmmm...," Marcus said, interested.

"And here's our last power-up...snow tires!"

"Snow tires?" Thomas said quizzically. "But this is a dirt track."

"These snow tires are more for stability than anything else. Let's face it, anything could knock those golf carts down," the man threw a paper ball at Marcus's cart and caused it to fall on its side. "At least with these tires, the cart will stay up."

"Hmmm, I'll have to speak to my Nerdstein about this," Marcus wrapped his arm around Thomas's shoulder. "So what do you think I should do?"

"I suggest you...," Thomas whispered into Marcus's ear.

"Here," Rika threw her helmet toward Takato.

"Oomph!" the helmet bounced off Takato's gut and he fell on his knees.

"Did you pick your upgrades yet?" Rika walked over to Marcus and impatiently tapped her feet.

"In fact, I have!" Marcus carried three huge crates in his arms. "Easy pickings!"

"Hey there, little lady," the man at the booth said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Whatcha got?" Rika huffed.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Is it me or is Rika even crankier than usual?" Takato fiddled with Rika's helmet.

"She is. I think it had to do with her trip to the spa," Henry shrugged.

"Aren't spas supposed to make people more relaxed?" Takato scratched his head.

"I guess not," Henry frowned.

* * *

"Third place, betches!" Kazu pumped his arms in the air.

"Hands on the wheel!" Ryo shrieked and jumped out of the way.

"Oh, right!" Kazu clutched onto he steering wheel and parked the cart to the side. "So what power-up do I get?"

"Here," the man handed Kazu the jumbo-sized bottle of Mr. Bubble.

"Do I really smell that bad?" Kazu said, miffed.

"Yeah...but it's not for taking a bath with, unfortunately. You tie it to the back of your cart and it'll make a slippery trail so that the people behind you lose control of their carts," the man explained.

"That's a sucky power-up," Kazu pouted.

"Well, it's the last one left. Take it or leave it," the man said.

"Okay, I will take it, and I will enjoy it!" Kazu grabbed the bottle and stomped away.

* * *

"Zoe," Izzy motioned her over.

"Yeah?" Zoe drove towards him and stopped her cart.

"Since you're fourth place, you didn't get an upgrade-"

"Yeah, don't remind me," Zoe crossed her arms.

"At least you weren't last place," Izzy cocked his head in Kari's direction. "Listen, you might not have gotten any power-ups, but I've got a little upgrade of my own."

"Ooh, what?" Zoe sat up straight in her driver's seat.

"If I install this device on your car, then you'll go 20% faster than the original maximum speed," Izzy held up a metal pipe with USB plugs on each end.

"That's amazing! You're the best!" Zoe gasped.

"I try," Izzy shrugged.

* * *

"And she calls me a whore! She's got her arms wrapped around Frizzy over there," Kari pouted.

"Kari honey, that's what most people would call a hug. They're usually harmless," Sora said as she checked the tire pressure. "Why do you hate Zoe anyways?"

"Isn't it obvious? She's mean!" Kari covered her cheeks with her hands.

"She really isn't that bad once you really get to know her," Sora casually said.

"I do know her, and she's evil!" Kari hissed.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you're the problem?" Sora adjusted the top of the golf cart.

"How am I the problem?" Kari pointed to herself.

"I know you're not used to this fact, but everyone has their enemies. Someone's bound to hate you, no matter what. If it bothers you so much, why don't you talk to her about it?" Sora suggested.

"There's nothing to talk about. She can't stand me because she thinks I'm a slut. Am I a slut?"

"Uh...," Sora bit her lip.

"Bring your carts to the sidelines and plug them in!"

"Time to charge your cart!" Sora nervously laughed as she pushed the cart to the the sidelines.

"Hey guys! Check this out! Look what Ryo did to my cart!" Kazu flailed his arms.

"Whoa, your cart is high!" Marcus jumped back in surprise.

"That's not even the cool part. Watch this!" Kazu pressed a button on his steering wheel. Rap music started playing and the tires of the golf cart sprung up and down.

"What the...," Zoe stared at the bouncing cart.

"That's right! I put some hydraulics up in huuuur!" Ryo made a gangster pose.

"Morons!" Rika said to herself.

While everyone watched Kazu's pimped-out ride, a yellow puppet lurked in the background. He pulled out a wrench and wobbled over to a pink golf cart. "Revenge is sweet!" he growled as he loosened the bolts on the tires.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!_

"Wow, look at that! I wouldn't have pegged Ryo as a mechanic," Gennai said.

"I would. He's got that metal contraption thing on his arm," Lily said. "Speaking of metal contraptions, seems like Marcus chose to get the Rollcage Shield power-up."

"So that's what that is. If you asked me, it looks like someone put the cart inside a cage," Gennai squinted his eyes.

"I'm just going to ignore what you said and move on to talk about how big Rika's tires are. I guess she's got the snow tires," Lily said.

"Don't forget about the Smashing Pumpkins! The slingshot's attached to her cart, but she only has three pumpkins in the passenger seat. Here's hoping she uses them wisely," Gennai said. "If I were her, I'd save the pumpkins for after the race and make some pies...I love pumpkin pie. How about you?"

"Meh, sweet potato's better," Lily shrugged.

"Really? I can't tell the difference between them."

"Mrs. Kamiya?!" Lily and Gennai shrieked.

"Hey guys! I finally returned from the six-week cooking course at the community college!" Mrs. Kamiya smiled.

"How did it go?" Lily asked.

"The teacher said he's never seen cooking skills like mine," Mrs. Kamiya grinned.

"That's probably a bad thing," Gennai whispered in Lily's ear.

"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Kamiya curiously looked at them.

"Gennai's so happy for you. He wants you to make him a pumpkin pie, but he's too shy to ask you himself!" Lily smirked at Gennai.

"Oh, Gennai! You know you can ask me to do anything!" Mrs. Kamiya winked at him. "I'll be right back!"

"You suck," Gennai frowned at Lily.

"He said he likes 22-inch pies!" Lily yelled.

"On it!" Mrs. Kamiya happily said.

"You really suck," Gennai muttered.

"I'm back! I hope you like it," Mrs. Kamiya popped up behind Gennai and placed the huge pie on the table. "Just give it five minutes to cool down! I'll be rooting for my baby girl now!"

"Yeah, you do that," Lily waved Mrs. Kamiya away.

"Oh my god! This is the best pie I've ever tasted!" Gennai talked with his mouth full. "That class really helped her out!"

"Really? Gimme!" Lily scooped up a huge spoonful of pie and shoved it in her mouth. "Pfffftt!" she spit the pie out. "What the hell, Gennai?! This tastes like crap!"

"Ahahahahahahah! I can't believe you fell for that!" Gennai laughed like a maniac.

"You jackass!" Lily lunged toward Gennai.

* * *

"Ready...aim...FIRE!" Marcus yelled. Thomas lit the firecracker and Marcus's cart zoomed.

"Good luck!" Ryo called out.

"Who needs luck when I got charm?" Kazu grinned.

_*vroom*_

_*vrrroooom*_

_*VRRROOOM*_

"You guys can keep revving your engines, but I'm going to win this race," Rika snapped her goggles on and drove off.

"She's right! I don't need to waste my time with you," Zoe stuck out her tongue.

"Whatever!" Kari scoffed.

_*WHACK*_

"Uh!" Kari was hit by a big, fluffy pillow. The pillow hit her so hard, it exploded and feathers flew everywhere.

_*Vrrrooo-aaaam*_

"What the hell is going on?" Marcus punched the steering wheel. His car gradually began to slow down.

"_Norstein to Damon, Norstein to Damon!_"

"What is it?" Marcus picked up a walkie-talkie.

"_I told you to go with the bubble soap! That rollcage is weighing you down!_"

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" Marcus growled.

"_F equals M times A. It's simple physics._"

"I don't think it's time for an alphabet session!" Marcus yelled.

"_Force equals Mass times Acceleration. If you want something to move faster, you have to put more force into it, but if the object is heavier, it'll be harder to move it_," Thomas explained.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?!" Marcus yelled.

"_I did tell you, but you kept making fun me! Look, you still have a chance to win. That Burst Mode should keep you going at a normal speed. Just focus on being fast and you should be a shoo-in_."

"Will do!" Marcus pressed his foot hard against the brake pedal.

* * *

_Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!_

"Would you look at that? And people say our show isn't educational!" Lily patted Thomas on the back.

"It's true. Thanks to that rollcage, Marcus isn't going as fast as he should be," Thomas said.

"Marcus's power-up choices weren't completely stupid! Look at that!" Gennai pointed at Marcus's now-slimy cart.

_*SPLAT SPLAT*_

"_DAMMIT_!"

"Was that Rika?" Lily squinted her eyes.

"Wow, she's loud," Gennai commented.

* * *

_*SPLAT*_

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Marcus yelled.

"CRAP! That was my last pumpkin!" Rika shrieked.

"Nyah nyah, missed me! Now you have to kiss m-never mind!" Kazu drove past Rika.

"Gahhhh!" Rika shrieked.

"That bastard is beating us! We can't let him win!" Marcus yelled.

"I don't care who wins, as long as it's not him!" Rika grunted.

_*VROOOM*_ Marcus was only a couple of inches away from Kazu's bumper.

_*splat*_

"Hah hah!" Kazu pulled on a cord and a trail of Mr. Bubble soap leaked out from behind his cart.

_*screeeeech*_

"Ahhhh!" Marcus's cart spun out of control.

"Holy crap!" Rika flinched and held her arms up in front of her.

_*CRASH*_

"Oh my gosh!" Zoe swerved her car just in time.

_*beep beep*_

"Hey Zoe!" Kari waved at her and quickly picked up the speed.

"You...," Zoe made an angry face. She drove as fast as she could, but Kari was still ahead of her. "Hey Izzy! What's going on? I'm supposed to be faster than everyone else!"

"_I have no idea! I installed the device correctly, so your cart shouldn't be running so slowly_."

"Are you sure about that?" Zoe yelled.

"_Positive! I'm looking it up on my laptop right now, and there's no reason for it to be troubleshooting_."

_*plink plink plink*_

"What's going on?!" Zoe shouted.

"Bam bam bam bam boom!" Yolei blindly threw rubber ducks at Zoe's cart.

"Ahhh!" Zoe drove in a zigzag, trying to avoid Yolei.

_*plink*_

_*clunk clunk clunk*_ a rubber duck bounced at the bottom of the cart and the speed device fell out.

"Izzy? I think I found the problem!" Zoe pulled over and picked up the device.

"_Don't worry about that! You could damage your cart if that thing's installed incorrectly! Just keep driving! If you hurry, you can pass Kari!_" Izzy's voice blared through Zoe's walkie-talkie.

"Right!" Zoe hopped back into her cart.

_*vroooooom*_

"Ha hah!" Zoe cheered triumphantly.

"Zoe?!" Kari gasped.

"Pffft!" Zoe blew Kari a raspberry.

"Ugh, you brat!" Kari pouted.

_*screeeech*_

_*clunkity clunk clunk*_

"Ahhh! What's going on?!" Kari's cart began to shake.

_*CLUNK*_ the back wheel of Kari's cart fell out and her cart went lopsided.

"Awww, boo hoo! I would feel bad for you, but I don't feel like it," Zoe flashed her the loser sign and drove away.

_*putt-putt-putt-puttputt-putt*_

_*low battery, please recharge*_

"What?! How is that possible?!" Zoe gasped. "Izzy!"

"Yes?"

"Why is my cart running out of power?" Zoe yelled.

"You're running out of battery? How?"

"I don't know, that's why I asked you!" Zoe huffed.

"I don't understand. The speed device is supposed to make your car run faster without wasting any power, so that can't be it," Izzy said.

"Well, that's what happened! How else could I be running out of energy?" Zoe yelled.

* * *

_Previously at the pit stop..._

"Hey guys! Check this out! Look what Ryo did to my cart!" Kazu flailed his arms.

"Whoa, your cart is high!"

"That's not even the cool part. Watch this!" Kazu pressed a button on his steering wheel. Rap music started playing and the tires of the golf cart sprung up and down.

"What the...," Zoe gaped at Kazu.

"Hmmm," Kari smirked. She subtlety toward the other carts and unplugged Zoe's cord from the power outlet. "Ooops, my bad!"

"Isn't it cool? I think it matches my personality!" Kazu stood on the roof of his cart.

"And what would that be? A little douchebag of a white boy trying to act like a gangsta?" Marcus smirked.

"Ohhh, word? Your burns don't hurt me; I'm too cool to be burned by you! I'm ice cold, baby! Ice cold!" Kazu stretched his arms out in front of him and moved them in a circle, while obnoxiously stepping on top of his roof. "Oh yeah, this is how we do it!"

"_The race will start in a moment! Time to get in your carts_!"

"Oh crap!" Kari fumbled with Zoe's power cord and rapidly plugged it back into the outlet.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!_

_*CRASH*_

"Oooh, brutal!" Gennai winced. Rika and Marcus collided with each other and both of their carts fell on the side.

"When we say anything can happen, we mean it," Lily commented.

"Kinda like how Kari's tire blew out?" Gennai said.

"No effing way!" Lily slammed her hands on top of the table top like a congo drum.

"Zoe's cart doesn't seem to be doing that well either," Thomas said. "I bet Izzy ruined it somehow."

"Their carts might be breaking down, but they managed to pass Marcus and Rika," Lily shook her head.

"But with teamwork, anything is possible!" Gennai pointed at Marcus and Rika. They pushed each other's carts and flipped them back into their upright positions.

"Knowing Marcus, he's only doing it to save his pride. If he's going to lose to anyone, Kazu would be the last person he would want to lose to," Thomas said.

"And Rika just wants to beat Kazu up," Gennai said.

"I wish them luck. Kazu is so far ahead of everyone else, I don't know if anyone will catch up to-oh, never mind! Marcus and Rika are right on his tail in second and third place!"

"_BOOOOO_!" a bunch of paper cups and half-eaten hot dogs flew in their direction.

"What's going on?" Thomas ducked underneath the table.

"There's only one answer to that...Kazu won," Lily sighed.

"What the-who what when where HOW?!" Gennai yelled.

"Don't ask me. There are some things that even I can't explain. This whole show is just illogical," Thomas said.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my show like that!" Lily bashed her fist on the top of Thomas's head. "I love you kid, but you went too far there."

"Now it's down to Zoe and Kari...their fates depend on the outcome of this race," Gennai said in a dramatic tone.

"It's neck-to-neck! The suspense is killing me. Look at me, I'm shaking!" Lily held her trembling hand up.

"Holy crap! You're seriously nervous!" Gennai gasped.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore! I have to go on the frontline!" Lily jumped over the table and pushed the audience out of the way. "Move it, move it! Get outta my way!"

* * *

"You're going down!" Zoe yelled.

"Not if you go down first!" Kari yelled back.

_*bump*_ a roll of toilet paper bounced off Zoe's cart and flew inside Kari's cart.

"Ugh!" Kari shook her legs and pushed the toilet paper out of her cart.

"There's no way I'm letting you win!" Zoe yelled.

"Since when do you run everything around here?" Kari said.

"Oh emm gee! Oh emm gee!" Lily started to hyperventilate.

"_BOOOO_!"

"_YAAAAY_!" the audience threw mixed sounds of cheers and disappointment.

"How did we tie?" Kari gasped.

"There's never such thing as a tie," Lily said. "The only way we can settle this is to break the footage apart, frame by frame."

"Here we go," Gennai wheeled a movie projector over and set up a white screen.

_*click* *click* *click*_ Gennai slowly went through the film slide.

"Wow...after seeing these slides, I have no choice but to send home...," Lily shook her head.

"Zoe!" Kari had a huge grin on her face.

"Zoe," everyone else softly mumbled.

"No...," Zoe fell down on her knees and started sobbing.

"Zoe, time to pack up your bags. There's the Hummer of Humiliation waiting out there for you, which will take you to the Loser Crusier. Marcus, Kazu, Kari, and Rika, congratulations. You have made it to the Final Four," Lily said.

_*beep beep*_

"Well, it's time for you to get going! Bye Zoe! I'll send you a postcard," Kari teasingly waved at Zoe.

"Now how do they say this in Italian? I believe it's called...arrivederci!" Gennai picked Zoe up and walked away. "Did I pronounce it right?"

"It could use a little work," Zoe whimpered.

* * *

_Last words..._

"If anything, I wanted to make it further into the competition than Kari," Zoe broke down crying.

**Important Message From Lily: Hey guys! It's your last time to submit any questions for our tell-all special! We will be closing the inbox after a week, so if you're dying to ask contestants anything, you better do it soon! Reminder, submit them by PM-ing CelticMagic or they won't be answered. Also, if you have any wacky challenge ideas, please submit them! Thank you and good night :)**


	28. File Island Tell-All Special! (Part 2)

**A File Island Special: Tell All Edition (Part Two)**

**[Previously Recorded]**

Gennai: Come back! I'm sorry!

Lily: _*thwacks Gennai with newspaper*_ Damn straight you should be sorry! Now we don't have a cameraman!

Gennai: Why can't we just use one of the contestants?

Lily: Because they're gonna be too busy answering these lovely questions! Why don't you be the cameraman?

Gennai: _*whining*_ But I'm too beautiful to be behind the camera.

Lily: Well thanks to you, nobody's going to be on camera!

Gennai: Fine, fine, fine! I'll man the camera...cause that's what a cameraman does! Man the camera!

Lily: Just shut up and do the job!

Gennai: _*grumbles*_ Stupid Lily and her stupid yelling and bossiness. Now how do I hook this camera on? No video?

Lily: Did you just say no video? How the hell are we supposed to film the show?!

Gennai: No! I just fixed it...

Lily: Good.

Gennai: _*whispers around camera*_ I am so dead. Hopefully she doesn't find out. At least the audio's recording.

Lily: Hello viewers! Sorry for the minor techincal difficulties. Everything is fixed now, so we can go on with the interview! Now, you see this huge pile of letters right here?

Gennai: _*whispers*_ Not really...they can't see anything when this camera is broken.

Lily: Well, we're not even halfway done! Now let's get back to the juicy bits!

_To all voted out contestants,_

_Are you guys watching the others on TV? Who do you want to win? What do you think of Kari?_

_-Rico from Tegucigalpa, Mexico_

Cody: I can't watch this show. It's pure garbage. In a way, I'm happy that I left a couple of episodes into the show.

Davis: That's just loser talk!

Takuya: Come on, Code! TDI: File Island has to be the best show ever! It's so fun to watch!

Lily: Who do you want to win?

Takuya: Well, I was keeping up with the show, and even though I didn't really want anyone to win, because I should have won, I would have been happy if anyone from the Frontier gang won. I kept watching, and I was so mad when Zoe lost the last challenge! So Kari, I don't like you because you made Zoe lose and you destroyed our chances of having a Frontier person winning the competition!

Kari: I really don't care what you think, especially when you like to make babies drunk!

Takuya: Hey! It's a family tradition! I don't complain about your family traditions.

Zoe: I'm definitely rooting for Rika. I can't stand Kari!

Tai: We already know what you think about my baby sister! You're just a jealous brat!

Zoe: Did you even see what she did to me?

Tai: Hmm, sounds like someone's trying to make someone else look bad!

Matt: I think someone's pretty blind to Kari's imperfections, and I'm not talking about Davis.

Lily: Matt's got a point. Tai, this is a reality TV show, and the word "real" is in "reality", so don't be shy to show off your feelings.

_Dear Tai,_

_Honestly say how you really think of Kari. I get she's your little sister and you love her but don't you think she's at least a little bit of a slut? You need to have some sort of bad thought about her._

Tai: She is not a slut!

Tommy: But being a slut is cool! My mom's a slut too! They're just very popular, especially with boys. One day, I hope I can be a big slut like Kari, so that all the boys like me and that they all want to be my friends.

Ken: Someone needs to get Tommy a dictionary.

Kazu and Kenta: _*snicker*_

Tai: I'm gonna find out whoever spread these rumors about her and I'm gonna beat them up!

Matt: Tai, I think you're in denial. She was hooking up with Davis...if even Yolei wouldn't hit that, what does that say about Kari?

Davis: Hey! We're in love, right Kari?

Kari: _*rubs back of her neck*_ Sure...

Gennai: Tai, if it makes you feel better, Kari's not a huge slut as you think she is.

Cody: How does that make sense?

Lily: I heard from an inside source that John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schmidt are one and the same.

Adventure Gang: What?!

Lily: Apparently, John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, and Schimdt, aka John Schmidt is a method actor. He has four different personalities, which he likes to play out on a regular basis. "John" is the All-American football player, "Jacob" is the hipster boy with a deep soul, "Jingleheimer" is the nerdy exchange student, and "Schmidt" is the very metrosexual boy who likes to paint seagulls in his free time. He wants to be the lead role in_ Billy Elliot: The Musical_, so he's super glad to hear that was convincing enough for everyone to think he was 4 different people.

Joe: That kid sounds crazy...

Koji: So you're saying everyone thought Kari was banging a whole bunch of guys, but she only had sex with one guy?

Tai: LALALALALALLALALA...My sister is a holy virgin. NOT LISTENING!

Lily: Yes, Koji. John, Jacob, Jingelheimer, and Schmidt are one and the same.

Tai: LALALALALALALALALA!

Lily: TAI! That's enough! We're done with this conversation!

Tai: _*sighs*_ Thank god.

Lily: Doesn't it make you feel better that Kari had sex with one boy instead of four?

Tai: LALALALLALALALALLA!

Lily: *_hands Marcus a cinderblock*_ Here, shut him up.

Marcus: _*cracks knuckles*_ My pleasure!

Lily: While Marcus quiets Tai down, Kari, Rika, Jeri, Zoe, and Yoshi, this one's for you:

_If you were the last woman on Earth, then who (out of any of the male contestants) would you have help repopulate the planet?_

_-January from Madison, Wisconsin_

Kari: Hmm...

Zoe: Typical Kari answer.

Kari: What's that supposed to mean?

Rika: What do you think that's supposed to mean?

Jeri: That she's a whore?

Yoshi: Sounds like it.

Kari: I'm not a whore! Is it wrong that I like to think before I answer?

Lily: Well, you girls better answer quickly! We got to get a move on!

Rika: This is a hard question, but I'd have to go with Henry.

All (especially Koji): Ooooooh...

_*Henry blushes*_

Rika: What? Out of everyone else, Henry annoys me the least!

Lily: Since you like to talk smack, Zoe, who would you repopulate the world with?

Zoe: Uhh...probably TK.

All: _*gasp*_

Zoe: What?

Kazu: So if you were to repopulate the world, everyone would have blond hair and blue eyes. Are you a neo-Nazi?

Zoe: What?!

Kenta: Answer the question.

_*everyone leans closer to Zoe*_

Zoe: Of course I'm not a neo-Nazi!

Takuya: Then why did you choose TK?

Zoe: It's those tight shorts, okay? You gotta admit, TK's got a nice tuchus.

TK: _*blushes*_ Thanks...

Lily: You have to see this! This place is redder than a tomato festival!

Gennai: _*whispers*_ Too bad the camera's broken...

Lily: How about you Jeri? A special guy on your mind?

Jeri: Um...I do think Kazu's kinda cute.

All: Are you serious?!

Kazu: Of course she is! Nobody can resist this _*rubs his hands over his body*_

Koji: _*snorts*_ That's my line.

Jeri: _*laughs like a mad dog*_ I was just kidding. I'm kinda offended that you guys think I'm that crazy.

Tommy: You did have a demonic puppet. If that's not crazy, then I don't know what is.

Ryo: That's true.

Henry: Agreed.

Takato: Yep.

Jeri: _*whines*_ Heyyyyy...

Lily: Kari. Did you make up your mind yet?

Kari: I think I would go with...

Davis: _*rubs hands together*_ I already know who she's gonna say.

Kari: I'm gonna go with TK.

Davis and TK: What?!

Lily: Wow, sounds like TK's very popular with the ladies.

Unknown person: BACK OFF! HE'S MINE!

Lily: Who the hell is that? Security!

Security Guard: _*stuffs donut in mouth*_ My boys are on it.

Lily: Yoshi, who would you repopulate the world with?

Yoshi: Are you kidding me? I'm older than everyone here! Well, everyone but Gennai.

Lily: How old are you?

Yoshi: Twenty-three.

Lily: I'm twenty-two...

Takato: Whoa, you're older than Lily?

Yoshi: Thanks for making me feel old. Thank you.

Lily: Okay, let's get a move on becausethefactthatYoshi'solderthanmeisprettyawkward...

_This one's for TK, Henry, Ken, Takato, and Thomas. If you were the last man on Earth, then who (out of any of the female contestants) would you rather have help you repopulate the planet?_

_-January from Madison, Wisconsin_

Ken: I lik-

Yolei: He picks me! Right, Ken?

Ken: _*terrified look on face*_ Sure...I'd go for Yolei.

Yolei: Isn't he such a smart boy?

TK: I would-

Kari: Yeah, TK. Who would you pick? Me or that? _*points at Zoe*_

Koji: You know, he has more choices than just you two.

Zoe: Go ahead, Teeks. Tell us what you think.

Kari: Yes, we're waiting...

TK: Probably Zoe.

Kari: Zoe? _ZOE? _Why?

Zoe: Hah!

TK: Yes, Zoe. Mimi scares me, Yolei scares me, Rika scares me, Jeri scares me, Sora's like my big sister, Yoshi's old enough to be my mom-

Yoshi: Hey!

TK: You're older than Lily. That's pretty old.

Lily: Can we stop bringing up the fact that Yoshi's older than me?

TK: Zoe's the only logical choice. Kari, what we have is too cute to be called romance. You're like a sister to me.

Koji: Ohhhhh, burn!

Kari: Shut it! _*smacks Koji in face*_

Koji: So I hear you're into spanking...I can play along with that. _*winks*_

Kari: *_to TK_* How can you say that?

Matt: Those_ are_ the same words you said to him at our Christmas party years ago.

Kari: No I-

Mimi: I remember that! You thought TK was making a move on you because you guys were both underneath the mistletoe, but he was just standing there because that was the only spot he had a decent Wi-Fi signal.

Tai: How on earth do you know that?

Mimi: I overheard them. Also, I would have been soooo embarassed to be in Kari's spot at that moment.

Kari: _*pouts*_

Lily: Takato, Henry. I'd like to hear your input.

Henry: Are you aware of how awkward this question is?

Lily: Yes.

Takato: Do we seriously have to answer?

Lily: Yes.

Takato: Crap.

Henry: _*shudders*_ I can't even...but if I had to, I'd go with Rika.

Koji: _*throws hands up in frustration*_ What gives?

Kazu: I bet it's because Henry likes it rough.

Kenta: Do you think Rika would make him wear a leash?

Kazu: Possibly. If Henry's a bad dog, he might get a spanking _*laughs*_

Kenta: Awww right! _*high fives Kazu*_

Henry: Just so you know. Rika, I don't really like you in that way...

Rika: Good, because I don't like you in that way either.

Gennai: Is that some lovesparks in the works?

Koji: _*rolls eyes*_ Give me a break.

Lily: Thomas, your turn...

Thomas: Well, it's not very gentlemanly to say anything like that, but if I had to choose, I would say Sora.

Sora: Me?

Thomas: Yes. You're probably the most normal girl in the show.

Matt: That makes sense.

Lily: You can really learn a lot through these interviews. Next question!

_Dear Marcus,_

_Most of the guys seem to love Kari, so, do you? Or is there someone else? *_cough, cough_* RIKA *_cough, cough_*_

_-Regal from Ramsey, New Jersey_

Marcus: They're both way too young for me. I do like this one girl, but I'm not saying any names.

Ryo: Is it Yoshi?

Marcus: God no! She's old enough to be my mom!

Yoshi: Thanks...

Lily: We get it! Yoshi's older than me.

Mimi: Is it Sora?

Marcus: No way!

Sora: Thanks...

Koji: *_smirks_* Is it Kazu or Kenta?

Marcus: I'm going to punch your face so flat, you're gonna look 2-dimensional!

Koji: Shutting up.

Davis: Well, who is it?

Marcus: What did I just tell you?! I'm not saying any names!

Jeri: At least give us a hint!

Tai: Is it even a girl?

Marcus: Duh. I just said so.

Lily: Yay for guessing games. We don't have the time to figure out Marcus's secret crush! We have to get to the bottom of other things!

_Dear Yoshi,_

_Why did you leave instead of Zoe? You could have made it a long way._

_- Paulo from Rio de Janiero, Brazil_

Yoshi: I felt so guilty. If it wasn't for me, we would have never lost that challenge. I totally deserved it for putting our team in that position.

Marcus: You know you can't think that way! Of course you would lose with an attitude like that! You have to believe in yourself more!

Yoshi: I know, but still...

Lily: You never know until you try. Winners never quit and quitters never win!

Tommy: Does that mean Yoshi's a loser?

Gennai: Yes.

Lily: Dammit Gennai! Way to crush someone's self-esteem...not that it's unusual here.

_Dear Tai, _

_Will you ever cut your insane hair?_

_-Matt from Odaiba, Japan_

Tai: The only thing insane about this hair is how sexy it is! _*winks*_

Matt: Hah, you wish!

Lily: Like you have room to talk.

_Dear Matt,_

_Do you watch Yu-Gi-Oh? You do have weird hairstyles._

_-Rob from Chicago, Illinois_

Matt: My hair's not weird!

Tai: Yes it is.

Marcus: Your hair's weirder.

Matt: Thank you Marcus! Good to see some people have good taste!

Tai: Kazu's right! You have a girl's hairstyle!

Marcus: You take that back!

Tai: Or what? You'll beat me?

Marcus: You have no idea _*pulls out Matt's acoustic guitar and smashes Tai with it*_

Tai: Owwww! Please stop! Not the guitar strings!

_*bash bash bash*_

Matt: Does that answer your question? I don't watch Yu-Gi-Oh by the way.

Lily: Okay...ooh, now this one's really good!

_Dear Lily,_

_I know that this isn't a question, but I just wanted to say that I think you're amazing!_

_-Mason from Salt Lake City, Utah_

Lily: Awww, you're so sweet! I am deeply flattered! Keep up the kind words! Now let's see what else our viewers want to know!

_Dear Lily,_

_First let me say that you are my favorite person on the show, so sane and yet abusice of Gennai. I love it! Big fan, big fan._

Lily: Why thank you! You fans are too much. But seriously, I'm loving the compliments.

Gennai: _*clears throat*_ Read the rest of the question.

Lily: But that wasn't a question.

Gennai: I already went through the mail, and you forgot to read the second part of the letter.

Lily: I have no clue what you are talking about _*crumbles paper up and tosses it*_

Kouichi: _*opens paper and reads it*_

_Anyways, I just wanted to ask, how did you escape prison? Was it the same as Gennai's story, the Dim Keeper?_

_- Jackson from Nashville, Tennessee_

Lily: D'oh! I mean, no...So Henry, here's a very important question for you!

_Dear Henry,_

_Henry, can you speak Chinese fluently? Or can you only speak it half-fluently cause you're only half-Chinese?_

_-Jameson from Kansas City, Missouri_

Henry: No, I can't speak Chinese. My parents thought Japanese was more than enough; Chinese has a whole different alphabet.

Lily: Smart parents. Oh, lookie here! Another question for Henry!

_Dear Henry,_

_Do you like Chinese food? Or do you only half like it because you're half-Chinese?_

_-Jameson from Kansas City, Missouri_

Henry: What is this guy's fascination with me being half-Chinese?

Lily: I don't know, but it's starting to freak me out a bit.

Gennai: Maybe he's got a fetish for half-Chinese boys?

Everyone: Blechhhh!

Lily: Come on, Gennai! This is supposed to be a family show!

Kouichi: What's so family-friendly about this show?

Lily: Uh well, we have a couple of families on this show. There's you and Koji, Tai and Kari, TK and Matt...

Thomas: That doesn't neccessarily mean this show's family-friendly.

Lily: Why do you have to be so smart all of the time?

Thomas: I don't know...

Lily: That has to be the first time you don't have an answer. Hopefully you have an answer for this question.

_Dear Thomas,_

_Your mom is dead, your Digimon partner's gone, your dad and grandma hate you, and you're in love with Marcus's mom. You probably have more daddy issues than five hookers in a room. What the hell is wrong with you?_

_-Rae from Pheonix, Arizona_

Gennai: Damn, that's cold!

Thomas: Uh, I have no idea how to answer that.

Gennai: So you're admitting that you have a thing for Marcus's mom.

Thomas: I didn't say any such thing.

Gennai: But you're not denying it either. It's okay. Marcus's mom is hot.

Marcus: Hey, stop talking about my momma like that!

Gennai: Or what?

Lily: Or I'll bash your head in with a cinderblock!

Gennai: I thought this show was supposed to be family-friendly.

Lily: It would be, but I'd have to shove a cinderblock in your face. Okay, this question is for anyone!

_Dear Contestants,_

_Which of the final four are you rooting for?_

_-Chelsea from Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island_

Kenta: I'm rooting for Kazu!

Cody: How can you still vote for him when he voted you out?

Kenta: He's my best friend.

JP: _*opens bar of chocolate*_ But best friends don't vote best friends out.

Kenta: Fat boy's got a point there _*rubs chin*_

Kazu: What does he know? He was the first guy to get eliminated!

Kenta: That doesn't mean he's wrong!

Lily: So, Kenta, who else would you want to win?

Kenta: Rika!

Rika: _*shakes fist*_ That's right!

Yolei: I'm rooting for Kari!

Tai: Me too!

Matt: Why would you vote for Kari? Everyone knows that either Marcus or Rika will win.

Thomas: I wouldn't be too sure about that. Kari's a very masterful person, even more so than Zoe. She's made it remarkably far in the competition, further than anyone expected her to. On the other hand, Marcus hasn't won a single challenge since the teams disbanded.

Marcus: Hey!

Thomas: But it's true. Name one challenge that you won.

Marcus: Let me think _*rubs chin*_ I've won the...nope. How about the-crap, I didn't win that one either. But I totally creamed everyone in the...damn it!

Thomas: Sorry to say it, but you have the least chance of winning the competition.

Kristy: It's true. You're a doof! I already know that you're a failure, so I don't expect much from you. The fact that you made it to the Final Four still shocks me!

Marcus: Geez, thanks.

Kristy: No problem.

Lily: So Kristy, who are you going to be rooting for?

Kristy: We're throwing a TDI Finale party at our house and everyone's Team Rika.

Marcus: Seriously? Even my own family won't root for me.

Koji: Marcus, you're a total failure. [_Lily's Note: It's true, check out the fanfic "Marcus, the Failure" by FeatheryJustice_]

Marcus:_ *sarcasm*_ Really, everyone. I definitely appreciate your encouraging words.

Kristy: You're welcome! I have to get going now, I have to set up for the party. Bye!

Lily: Aww, isn't your sister the most adorable thing ever?

Marcus: Yeah, the adorablist. _*pouts*_

Thomas: Rika has a fair chance of winning. I don't know how much though, since she would have to compete with people with high potential. Kari defeated Zoe and that's a pretty hard task to accomplish, yet Kazu's been winning the last couple of challenges, so it won't be too surprising if he ended up winning too.

Gennai: That's true...

Lily: Are you seriously telling us that you're rooting for Kazu?

Thomas: Not per se. I don't want Kazu to win, but there's a very high chance that Kazu's going to win. Remember, Gennai did say that the best way to win was by being an idiot.

Gennai: I did not!

Thomas: Yes you did.

* * *

_Flashback to Hooray For The File Island Relay!_

"Hey Gennai!" Kazu casually stuck his flag on the podium.

"How on earth are you the first guy to make it here?" Gennai said.

"Oh, it's easy," Kazu said. "When in Rome, do like the Romans do."

"And how did you do that?" Mrs. Kamiya raised an eyebrow. "Did you dress up like a Shurimon?"

"No," Kazu gave her a strange look. "I just blended in with the jungle. I guess it helps to have a green flag to hide behind. Also, the Shurimon are too busy trying to stop the martial arts guys, they didn't even notice me fly past them!"

"Uh huh," Mrs. Kamiya was impressed.

"Whaddya know?" Gennai groaned. "I guess the best way to win was to be an idiot. So, Mrs. Kamiya..."

* * *

Lily: Oh my god...my competition has gone to hell in a handbasket! Thomas, when are you ever wrong?

Izzy: Just because Thomas says something doesn't make it definite.

Gennai: But what Thomas said makes a lot of sense!

Lily: Yeah! Thomas's logic is unarguable!

Izzy: But remember, this show doesn't follow any set rules of logic.

Lily: That's true. That's why you're my favorite redhead. Ginger power! _*eagerly holds up fist*_

Izzy: Ginger power..._*awkwardly bumps fists with Lily*_

Lily: Okay then! Here's a question for the jackass in the Obi Wan robe!

_*everyone looks at Koji*_

Koji: I'm not wearing a robe! See?! _*pulls on his yellow tee*_

Lily: I was talking about Gennai.

_Dear Gennai,_

_I used to like you. Now you're just a nuisance. Let me ask, what is wrong with you exactly? Were you dropped or something?_

_- Sean from Minneapolis, Minnesota_

Lily: _*does trademark Chris McLean laugh*_ What do you have to say for yourself?

Gennai: All I have to say is someone's been sipping some Haterade!

Takuya: Or maybe someone gave Gennai alcohol when he was a baby!

Koji: Here's a public service announcement for you! _Alcohol Kills. Alcohol Kills Brain Cells. Just ask Gennai and Takuya._

Tommy: I will never ever drink alcohol!

Tai: Good for you, buddy! Alcohol is bad.

Takuya: But it feels so right!

Sora: Don't listen to that crazy gogglehead. _*points at Takuya*_ That is what happens when you drink.

Tommy: In fact, I think I'll become straightedge!

Lily: Isn't it amazing how some of our contestants can be such model citizens? Everyone should follow Tommy's example.

Ryo: Even if he's doing that? _*points at Tommy, who was picking his nose*_

Lily: Well, I never said that you had to do _everything_ he does. Hey, Ishida!

_Dear Matt, _

_What about your band back home? Are you still in contact with them?_

_-Jeremy from Odaiba, Japan_

Matt: Now that I think about it, I should have probably sent them a text, Facebook message, postcard or something...

Tai: _*sarcasm*_ Aren't you a good friend?

Ryo: That's not even cool. _*shakes head*_

Matt: What? I've been too busy to take the time and BBM my bandmates!

Ken: Putting fame before your friends. I'm so disappointed in you.

Jeri: You're probably a bigger jerk than Koji is.

JP: Probably? He's definitely a bigger jerk than Koji. Even Koji would keep in touch with his friends.

Takuya: If he had any friends.

Matt: Ooooh, burn!

Koji: You're still a bigger jerk than me. That's low.

Lily: He's right kid. _*puts hand on Matt's shoulder*_ But we can change that. How about we let you do a video postcard for your bandmates back home?

_*everyone cheers*_

Matt: _*nods*_ Yeah, that sounds nice.

Lily: Okay, so here's your chance! Gennai, zoom in on Matt!

Gennai: Got it! _*mumbles*_ Not that it really matters, because nobody can see what's going on...

Lily: What did you say, Gee?

Gennai: Nothing, just humming to myself.

Lily: Get a new hum. Okay, Matt. I just want you to look at the camera and say whatever's in your heart.

Matt: Okay _*sighs*_ I'm ready. _*faces camera*_ Hey guys, it's me, Matt! Sorry I didn't take the time to at least say hi, but now I am. I'm having a good time on the show, and I hope you guys are doing fine without me. I would say I love you guys, but that's kinda homo, so I'll just leave it at that. By the way, you can't borrow my pants Ben! Your butt is too big! See you guys soon!

Lily: What a...heartwarming video postcard. Now who wants to hear what Henry has to say about this question?

Takato: Why do I have a feeling that this is gonna be bad?

Lily: Geez Takato! You need to take it easy! _*reads paper*_

_Dear Henry,_

_I know it's not a question, but I've always wanted to say this: Momentai!_

_-Terri from Santa Monica, California_

Henry: Thanks, Terri. I really needed to hear that. I think that being on this show only made me tense, so it's relieving to hear someone give me comforting words.

Takuya: That's gay!

Lily: Thanks for mentioning that. Here's a question for you!

_Dear Takuya, _

_Would you date one of the twins? If so, which one?_

_- Jadyn from Melbourne, Australia_

Takuya: Definitely Koji. He's got this manly aura on him, and I've seen him shirtless too. Those abs are killer!

Joe: Is it me, or does anyone else find it scary that Takuya answered that question very quickly?

_*cricket cricket*_

Gennai: That's homo.

Koji: What? Nobody can resist this _*jerks thumb at himself*_

Lily: If that's what you say. One thing we can all agree on is what this viewer has to say.

_Dear Koji, _

_Why can't you be a nice person? I really wonder this..._

_-Kimura from Shibuya, Japan_

Koji: It's really simple. It's just a lot funner to be a jackass.

Gennai: I can agree with that.

Rika: Stupid minds think alike.

Thomas: I presume you meant to say "Great minds think alike."

Rika: No, stupid minds think alike!

JP: She's right. Look what I found in my chocolate-covered fortune cookie! _*pulls slobbery slip of paper out of his mouth*_

Lily: _*cringes*_ What does it say, JP?

JP: _*clears throat*_ Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.

Rika: Hmph. Thomas got trumped by a fortune cookie!

Izzy: _*amused chuckling*_

Thomas: Those fortune cookies are nothing more than nonsense! It's superstition!

Jeri: So you're a nonbeliever?

Thomas: Yes. Yes, I am. Part of being a scientist is not having beliefs in the supernatural.

Lily: So you don't believe in miracles?

Thomas: No. I might as well say I believe in magic!

Mimi: Well, Izzy believes in magic!

Izzy: What?

Lily: It's true. Izzy, this one's for you!

_Dear Izzy,_

_I've had this suspicion for a while... are you Harry Potter?_

_-Tyrone from Regina, Saskatchewan_

Izzy: What? No! That's completely preposterous!

Tai: But you did some really cool magic tricks. Are you sure you're not Harry Potter?

Izzy: Positive.

Lily: Okay then...

_Then you must be Edward Elric!_

_-Tyrone from Regina, Saskatchewan_

Izzy: No! That's even more absurd than the Harry Potter question!

Davis: Not really...are you sure you're not an alchemist?

Izzy: I'm not an alchemist!

Thomas: He's not nearly educated enough to be an alchemist.

Koji: Ouch.

Gennai: Do you have a rebuttal for that?

Izzy: Thomas was trumped by a fortune cookie.

Koji: Bigger ouch!

Lily: Agreed. Oh Henry...

Henry:_ *groans*_ What is it this time?

Tai: Is it me, or is this episode devoted to annoying Henry?

Lily: It's not me. It's what the viewers want!

Ryo: Wow, Henry...the audience is so out to get you. What did you ever do to them?

Henry: Be half-Chinese _*sighs*_

Gennai: That is asking for it.

Lily: Knock it off, Gennai! Okay, Henry. Are you ready?

Henry: _*sighs*_ Fine.

_Dear Henry,_

_How do you feel about Rika exactly? Do you find her potential girlfriend material for you or do you seriously just think of her as a friend?_

_- Juleigh from Portsmouth, New Hampshire_

Yoshi: Are you okay? Your left eye looks like it's twitching.

Henry: _*tries to breath calmly*_ Me...and...Rika...are...just friends. Nothing more. End of story.

Takato: Are you mad?

Henry: _*clenches fist*_ No.

Kazu: Well, you sure look it.

Henry: I'M NOT MAD!

Lily: Okay, okay! Let's move on, let Henry compose himself and whatnot.

_Dear Mimi, _

_Why the hell did you choose MICHAEL? Izzy or Joe would've sufficed, or maybe even Matt, but MICHAEL? Seriously!_

_- Liam from Liechtenstein, Switzerland_

Mimi: Hello? The choice is totally obvious, I just had to pick Michael! Michael is totally gay, and gay guys have a really good fashion sense. Kazu knows what I'm talking about! He was the Project Runway winner.

Kazu: _*grins*_ Sure did-hey...wait!

Mimi: I could never go to a straight guy for fashion advice, especially Matt, Izzy, or Joe...no offense.

Izzy and Joe: None taken.

Matt: I'm offended!

Takuya: Nobody cares what you think! _*laughs*_

Mimi: Sorry, but when it comes to shoes, I had to choose Michael! If it weren't for him, I would have never found these heels! _*kicks feet up in the air*_

* * *

_In another world..._

"What?! I am NOT gay!" Michael threw the remote control at the TV. "Stupid whore! I only went shoe shopping with you cause I was hoping to get some!"

"So what you're saying is that you didn't get any?" Michael's mom poked her head into the living room.

"Why must you rub it in my face?" Michael groaned.

"Maybe getting some is not high on your priority list, but it's important to everyone else. If you got some toilet paper like I asked, we wouldn't have to use the phone book pages," Michael's mom quipped. "Hey, is that your trashy friend on TV?"

"Yeah, that's her...," Michael rolled his eyes.

* * *

Yolei: Phew, for a second there, I thought the person was asking if Mimi hooked up with Michael! I already claimed Michael, and it would be against girl code to take a boy who's already claimed by someone else!

Jeri: That's just creepy, and I have a possessed puppet.

Kenta: Hey! Try saying "possessed puppet" five times quickly.

Everyone: Possessed puppet, pupssessed poopit, pfffthh...

Lily: She sells shells by the seashore.

Tommy: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Tai: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Gennai: How much stuff can you stuff in a Stuffie until your Stuffie's stuffed enough stuff?

Everyone: What?

Lily: Wow, Gennai. You totally ruined what we had going on.

Gennai: I was just trying to contribute _*frowns*_

Lily: Then contribute to the taxes! I can only deny knowing you to the IRS so many times.

Gennai: You pretend you don't know me when we're in public all the time!

Lily: But that's different. Not everyone's in the government! Speaking of which...

_Dear Yolei,_

_ How the hell do you get "Yolei" out of "Miyako?"_

_-Just wondering, the IRS in Washington DC_

Yolei: My mom wanted to get a personalized tee for me when I was five, so she told my dad to buy one while she took over the convenience store. He spelled Miyako completely wrong, but he was too cheap to let the shirt go to waste, so they changed my name to Yolei.

Davis: Your dad just out-Jewed Cody.

Lily: Davis!

Davis: What?

Lily: You almost spoiled my next question!

_Dear Cody,_

_Are you hiding your Jewish accent?_

_-Shane from Queens, New York_

Cody: I'm really starting to get offended by these questions. What's a Jewish accent supposed to sound like anyways?

Davis: Kinda like this _*clears throat*_ Aw dahling, isn't Baba Streisand da behst! I love Fiddla on dah Rough! I don't eat any frankfurtah unless it's 100% Koshah! I think ehvery won should scikam-size they babies!

Lily: That sounds like a Boston accent...

Davis: I was only trying to sound Jewish.

Cody: It's Yiddish! Not Jewish!

Lily: Geez, isn't everyone in a bad mood today. If it'll make you feel any better, I'll let you read the next question. I think you'll like it very much _*shakes letter at Cody*_

Cody: _*sighs*_ Okay...

_Dear Davis,_

_How long can you hold your breath?_

_-Willa from Copenhagen, Denmark_

Davis: For a long time. In fact- _*gasps and puffs his cheeks*_

Matt: Is he seriously holding his breath?

_*hours later*_

Kari: Wow! Are you still holding your breath?

Davis: _*nods*_

Takuya: No he's not! _*pinches Davis's nose shut*_

Davis: Huuukm _*chokes for air*_ What was that for?

Gennai: Because you're a cheater.

Davis: You call me a cheater? Kari's the biggest cheater of them all! At least I didn't cheat in the competition!

Everyone: Oooooh...

Koji: _*winces*_ That burns.

Lily: Kari, prepared to be burned!

_Dear Kari,_

_Okay, I really hate you but I still have some fan feelings for you, even if they're extremely minor. I wanted to ask, why don't you try to be friendly with Zoe? She's really not that bad once you get to know her. She just has a superiority complex like how Yoshi has an inferiority complex. Give her a chance, you may like her._

_- Stacey from Adelaide, Australia_

Kari: She's not that bad? Did she turn you over to the dark side, like she did with Sora?

Gennai: Kari, why _are_ you such a bitch to Zoe?

Kari: Because she started it!

Henry: I can see that.

Zoe: How did I start anything?!

Kari: I didn't really care what you did, but then you had to get all buddy-buddy with Sora! She's my best friend, not yours!

Sora: I think I'm allowed to have more than one best friend.

Kari: Fine then, which of us do you like better? Me or Zoe?

Joe: Oh no! This is like the whole Matt and Tai thing all over again!

Sora: Look, I'll tell you what I told them. I love both of you the same, just in different ways!

Kari: But if you had to pick one of us, who would it be?

Tai: Yeah, and what about me and Matt?

Sora: _*hyperventilates*_ I can't make up my mind, especially when you're pressuring me! I need to get out of here! _*springs out of her seat and runs off backstage*_

Ken: Talk about total breakdown.

Lily: Hey, but you can't have a reality TV show without someone going crazy! I mean you could, but no one would watch it. I'm just so happy that my TV show is the most popular reality TV show on FFNetwork!

Henry: I think TDI: File Island might be the only reality TV show on FFNetwork.

Lily: Hey! No wonder the audience likes to pick on you a lot!

_Dear Yolei,_

_How is it that you made it out of the pyramid before Henry? You were just scaling the wall which I'm pretty sure had a ceiling._

_-Collin from Dublin, Ireland_

Yolei: We do not follow maps to buried treasure and X never, ever marks the spot.

Everyone: What?

Yolei: I don't know. I'm making this up as I go.

Lily: Yeah. You're pretty good at that.

_Dear Henry,_

_Why didn't you bring Suzie with you? I'm sure she would have liked to see Lopmon again._

_- Xiaochun from Bejing, China_

Henry: No! This competition is way too dangerous for her! And she's too young!

Ryo: But Tommy was in the competition.

Henry: And see where that ended him? He was even more of a crybaby before the competition started.

Ryo: He made it farther than you did.

Henry: _*grits teeth*_ That's because he didn't get crushed by temple ruins.

Mimi: Wasn't he the first one to make it out?

Henry: He got lucky.

Tommy: Someone sounds grumpy.

Henry: I'm not angry!

Lily: Of course not! Henry's as cool as a cucumber, right audience?

_Dear Henry,_

_Since you're the most mild-mannered person here, who do you hate most on the island?_

Koji: Ha, mild-mannered? I don't think mild-mannered people's eyes twitch when they're mad.

Mimi: Oh my gosh, they are twitching.

Kenta: He kinda looks like he's got rabies...

Henry: _*takes deep breath*_ Okay. I'm fine. _*sighs*_ At first, I would have said I hated Zoe the most-

Kari: _*sticks tongue at Zoe*_ Pfft!

Henry: But now, I'm gonna have to go with Koji.

Koji: Aww, like I care.

Lily: I don't know if you noticed it, but I think the Frontier kids are probably the most annoying group in the competition.

The Frontier Gang: That's not true! The Adventure kids are worse!

The Adventure Gang: Hey! You wish!

Rika: I think they're both equally obnoxious.

Takato: I hate to say it, but I think it's true.

Yolei: Oh, you Tamers think you're so cool? Please, you're the annoying ones!

Ryo: Prove it!

Yolei: There's Kazu and Kenta. I think that's enough reason.

Marcus: That's pretty true.

Rika: Like you guys are any better.

Marcus: Hey! How are we annoying? We're probably the least annoying group out of all of you!

Izzy: I don't know about that, especially when Thomas is a know-it-all.

Tai: _*to Marcus*_ And you always have to beat someone up.

Marcus: That's because everyone else is annoying!

Lily: You know what I think? The Data Squad is the least annoying team. Sure, Thomas is too smart for his own good, but Marcus balances it out because he beats up the annoying people. Not successfully, but at least he does something about it.

Marcus: What do you mean "not successfully"?

Lily: Face it, you're not really meeting up to the audience's expectations. It's okay though, you're not the only one.

_Dear Rika and Marcus,_

_Why have you not sabotaged Kazu during the entire time? Are you guys stupider than he is or something? Because nothing seems to be adding up..._

_Khalid from Cairo, Egyp_t

Marcus: Does beating the crap out of him count?

Jeri: No. You guys could've have hurt him so much more than that. If you guys did a better job, Kazu would be in a hospital in a full body cast, and then he couldn't win any more challenges.

Rika: Jeri, you know better than everyone that nobody would be capable of doing that to Kazu. After a while, he gets used to getting punched around.

Jeri: Yeah, I forgot. _*shrugs*_

Marcus: I wish we weren't joking. Kazu's almost indestructible. Roll the clips!

Gennai: Hold up a minute. *_logs on to Youtube*_ Okay, ready!

* * *

_A beating-Kazu-up montage..._

_[Ode to Joy plays in the background]_

_*punch whack whack*_ Marcus beat Kazu up so badly, Kazu was almost one inch flat.

"Ahhhhh!"

* * *

_*Beep beep beep*_

"Are you sure you're allowed to do that? Did you even get anyone's permission?" Henry asked.

"I don't care!" Rika put on a helmet and turned the steamroller on.

"Oh Hail Mary!" Kazu tried to run away, but he got crushed. "Ow."

* * *

_*clunk clunk clunk*_ Marcus and Rika put bars of soap in tube socks and whacked Kazu with them.

"What the hell? That hurts!" Kazu whined.

"Shaddup!" Marcus hit him in the face with the soap sock.

_*WHACK*_

* * *

"Rika, why am I covered in colorful shreds of tissue paper?" Kazu asked.

"Shut up. You'll find out soon," Rika tied Kazu up to a rope and looped it around a high tree branch.

"Why am I hanging from a tree?"

_*SLAM*_ Rika hit him with a baseball bat.

"Ooowwwww!" Kazu yelled.

_*BOOM*_

"The paaaaain!"

_*CRACK*_

"Hey, that feels good!" Kazu smiled. "My back hasn't felt this good in forever!"

"Ugh! You ruin the fun in everything!" Rika threw the baseball bat at Kazu and walked away.

"Rika...come back please? Rika? Please bring me back down! It's starting to get dark and I think I hear a wolf...," Kazu whimpered. "Rika?"

* * *

_*bash bash bash*_

"Gaoooshhji!" Kazu wailed.

"Shut your face or I'll punch you in the mouth!"

"But it hurts!"

_*BASH*_

"Oowwww...wait a second, my teeth feel funny," Kazu got up from the floor.

"And if you don't shut up, they'll feel even funnier!" Marcus threatened.

"Look, my teeth are perfectly straight now! Thank you! Now I don't have to wear braces!" Kazu jumped on Marcus and kissed his arm.

"Get your disgusting germs away from me!" Marcus shoved Kazu off and walked away.

* * *

Gennai: Wow, all those beatings and Kazu walks away with perfect teeth and perfect posture. You guys are definitely doing something wrong. *shakes head*

Lily: If you want to talk about wrong, let's read the next question!

_Dear Izzy,_

_Are you sexually active?_

_-Ellie from Glasgow, United Kingdom_

Gennai: Seriously? Look at the kid and tell me if he gets any.

Unknown person: Objection!

Everyone: Huh?

Henry: Dad?

Takato: _*puts hand on Henry's shoulder*_ Today is not your day.

Mr. Wong: It's Dr. Wong to you!

Takato: Since when did you become a doctor?

Mr. Wong: Since I applied for one if those training schools that you see on TV. Let's make "one day" into "day one"!

Rika: _*smirks*_ Or in Takato's case, let's make "day-old" into "old-day".

Takato: There's nothing wrong with day-old bagels! Do you eat a whole loaf of bread in one day? No, you don't!

Mr. Wong: Anyways, I just came to drop something off for Izzy. _*shakes paper bag*_

Lily: Oooh, what is it?

Mr. Wong: I can't tell you. It's doctor-patient confidentiality.

Lily: I should know. I'm the damn producer!

Tai: Hey, Iz. What's in the bag?

Izzy: _*peeks inside bag*_ Pamphlets to various Chinese restaurants.

Henry: _*buries head in hands*_ Oh dad...

Mr. Wong: What? Just trying to help out the family.

Henry: You know we're not related to every Chinese person in the world, right? _*sighs*_

Mr. Wong: Oh really? Then why did I marry your mom?

Tommy: Because you love her?

Mr. Wong: Well, yeah. But I mostly married her because she was Japanese.

Henry: Daaaaad...please stop talking.

Mr. Wong: I couldn't marry a Chinese person! Do you know how creepy it is to marry someone with the last name "Chen" when your mother's maiden name is also "Chen"?

Gennai: Listen to your dad, he's a smart man. He did become a doctor in a matter of a week.

Thomas: I don't think that's a good argument. He went to a trade school.

Mr. Wong: So you're the snobby guy with the degree from a prestigious school? Just so you know, not all of us can afford to go to a top-notch university.

Lily: It's not about the school you go to, it's how far you go with the skills you learn.

Gennai: That's the slogan they use at all of the cheap schools.

Lily: Hey! At least I went to school! While we're on the topic of doctoring, heads up Joe!

_Dear Joe,_

_When did you get your first first aid kit?_

_-Jaewook from Seoul, South Korea_

Joe: It seemed like just yesterday. I was three years old when my dad gave me a play doctor's kit, complete with a fake stethoscope, reflex hammer, blood pressure measurer. To this day, I still use it when I intern in the hospital.

Lily: So you use a toy doctor's kit?

Joe: Yeah! It makes work more fun!

Lily: Good to know. _*mumbles*_ Note to self, definitely do not go to Joe for health advice. On a lighter note, let's talk about teachers!

_Dear Kazu,_

_Have you always thought Ms. Asagi was your friend?_

Kazu: Yes. Why? You act like we're not buddies!

_[envelope floats from above and falls delicately into Kazu's lap]_

Kazu: _*opens letter and reads out loud*_ "Dear Kazu...we are **NOT** friends!" Aww, Ms. Asagi! It's like a joke between us!

Gennai: Right...

Lily: Hey Zoe. We've got a letter for you...

_Dear Zoe,_

_I am so sorry you lost but if it's any consolation, a lot more people were rooting for you and not Kari. I hate her too, hard to believe I ever liked her. Anyway, I'm wondering one question, aren't you afraid that that puppet is after you? You seem so chilled and unconcerned of a murderer of a puppet. If I were you, I'd be more concerned of that thing than the competition._

_- Darryl from Pierre, South Dakota_

Zoe: First of all, thank you for cheering for me! You don't know how happy I feel right now. As for the puppet question, after all of the death threats I've gotten, I just don't care anymore. Don't get me wrong, when people started threatening me, I used to be scared for my life, but now I know I can defend myself from anyone's attacks.

Lily: So you're saying a lot of people are after you?

Zoe: Yeah. I don't know why, but they are.

Lily: Interesting. Maybe this might give you a clue.

_Dear Zoe,_

_Why are you a crazy bitch?_

_- Maxine from Seattle, Washington_

Zoe: I'm not a crazy bitch!

Everyone: ...

Zoe: I'm not! I just have a strong personality!

Lily: That's okay. I've had people tell me the same thing...mostly Gennai though.

Gennai: That's because you are a crazy bitch! Doesn't anyone believe me?

Everyone: ...

Gennai: Come on, I know you're all thinking the same thing I'm thinking!

Lily: Please, Gennai! They love me! Right kids?

Everyone: ...

Tommy: If it makes you feel better, I barely knew you.

Takuya: Ditto here. I didn't even know you actually existed until after everyone split into two teams.

Matt: You definitely make the show interesting.

Kenta: Chris McLean has nothing on you!

Lily: Awww, you guys are so sweet! Kind of like Rika's personality!

Rika: What?! I am not sweet!

Lily: Look at Rika trying to act all tough! We all know you're as soft as that fancy two-ply toilet paper that I can't afford.

_Dear Rika,_

_Do you secretly like Care Bears? ...So can I paint your nails?...If you're not girly-girl, do you have a rock collection?_

_- Kaylee from Wilmington, Delaware_

Rika: Does it look like I do all of that stuff?!

Ryo: You did confess to having a stuffed hippopotamus. _*pokes Rika in the cheek*_

Rika: _*slaps Ryo's hand away*_ I didn't confess that!

Takato: But you do have a rock collection. It's probably full of the scariest music I ever heard.

Rika: That's right! I'm too badass for girly things!

Lily: I don't think you're entirely convincing anyone...

_Dear Rika,_

_Do you like Justin Beiber, One Direction, or the Backstreet Boys?_

_-Kaylee from Wilmington, Delaware_

Rika: Does it look like I listen to those sissies?!

Koji: Obviously. Otherwise, they wouldn't ask you.

Gennai: That's true.

Rika: Well I don't like those guys! People are such doofs!

Marcus: Don't get annoyed. At least people still take you more seriously than they take me. My family won't even cheer me on _*frowns*_

Yoshi: Are you still upset about that?

Marcus: Yes.

Yoshi: Come on, we thought the same thing when we worked at DATS. Sampson never thought you could do anything right.

Marcus: But that was different! DATS was a job, and nobody takes their jobs seriously.

Gennai: It's true. As long as you're nothing like Tai, everything's fine!

_Dear Tai,_

_Why are you such a dork?_

Tai: Are you sure this question isn't for Tai-_kuya_?

Matt: Yeah, Tai's definitely a dork.

Marcus: I feel so much better about myself now.

Matt: Good! Just be thankful you're not a gogglehead, because...well, just look at them.

Tai, Davis, Takato, Takuya: HEY!

Lily: I think you might have tied those goggles on too tight. You boys are something else.

_Dear Takuya,_

_ Do you have a feminine side?_

_- Kimi from Osaka, Japan_

Takuya: What?! Me?! Feminine?! I'm the manliest man in the world!

JP: Then why did you say you'd pick Koji as your twin lover? You did instantly answer it.

Takuya: It's that hair! I just want to take him and brush his hair all day long.

Zoe: Maybe you should stop talking. The more you open your mouth, the creepier you sound.

Kouichi: _*nods*_

Mimi: Koji does have nice hair though.

Lily: A lot of girls are crazy about your hair.

_Dear Koji,_

_Do you have a hair stylist, or do you do your hair yourself?_

_-Maria from Budapest, Hungary_

Koji: I'm just naturally sexy. _*winks at Rika*_ But I do use Paul Mitchell conditioner.

Mimi: _*pulls out Hello Kitty notepad*_ Paul Mitchell conditioner...

Lily: It seems all of you guys have good hair! So many viewers can't help but to talk about it!

_Dear Yolei,_

_Is your hair naturally that purple or do you have it dyed?_

_Robyn from Istanbul, Turkey_

Yolei: It's naturally dyed!

Matt: How the hell is it naturally dyed?

Yolei: Because I use all-natural ingredients to make my hair this color.

Rika: That's not all-natural!

Yolei: Yes it is! You wouldn't eat something that's unnatural, would you?

Gennai: Yeah, the Kamiyas eat unnatural food all the time.

Izzy: Technically, they don't, because they always eat at my house.

Tai: But your mom's a super good cook!

Lily: You know who's mom is also a good cook? Marcus's mom!

_Dear Marcus,_

_What's your favorite food?_

_-Not Mrs. Kamiya from not on the TDI set_

Marcus: I love food in general, but if I had to pick one food in particular, it would be my mom's fried eggs...I miss them.

Thomas: Sarah is a good cook.

Marcus: Hey, you do not call my mom by her first name! It's Marcus's Mommy to you!

Thomas: But she said I could call her "Sarah".

Koji: So you're on a first-name basis with Marcus's mom.

Marcus: That's it! Since you call my mom by her first name, I'm going to start calling your mom by her first name!

Thomas: Good luck with that. My mom's dead.

Girls: Awww...

Lily: Why do you have to be so mean, Marcus?

Marcus: But I didn't do anything! It's not like I beat him up or anything!

Kristy: Marcus, you're a failure...

Marcus: GO HOME KRISTY!

Lily: She is just the cutest thing around!

Marcus: Yeah...

Lily: Don't siblings shake things up a bit? That's why I moved 239 miles away from mine!

_Dear Matt,_

_Is TK taller than you?_

TK: I don't know.

Mimi: You guys should stand back to back and we'll see.

Matt: No, I prefer sitting down.

TK: _*smirks*_ That's because I'm the taller one.

Matt: No you're not!

TK: Then prove it. Stand next to me.

Matt: No thanks.

TK: _*whispers*_ That's because he's the short one.

Matt: NO I'M NOT!

Lily: *_rolls eyes_* Yes you are. I think you have something called Napoleon Complex...

Matt: What are you trying to say?!

Lily: I'm just saying that you fall pretty short. Not like Tai's hair.

_Dear Tai,_

_Do you take pills that keep you sane? Or at least your hair sane?_

Tai: Do Flintstones vitamins count?

Thomas: No, no they don't.

Joe: But the grape ones are doctor recommended!

Thomas: No they aren't. Which doctors said so?

Joe: Me.

Thomas: I don't think you're qualified to make those kinds of recommendations, especially when you treat patients with a toy first-aid kit.

Everyone: Ooooh...

Joe: At least I didn't get trumped by a fortune cookie.

Everyone: Super burn!

Lily: That will probably never get old, right Izzy?

_Dear Izzy,_

_Is your British accent sexy?_

_-Cora from Cardiff, United Kingdom_

Everyone: _*whispers to each other*_

Izzy: I don't recall talking in a British accent.

Tai: Well, you kinda do sound like you talk in a British accent already.

Izzy: What?

Thomas: _*shakes head*_

Matt: Yeah. We just never told you because we thought you already knew that.

Izzy: You guys have to be kidding me.

Lily: Nope, we're not.

Izzy: You guys are definitely messing with me. I do not speak in a British accent.

Mimi: You totally do! You have the sexiest British accent ever! It makes me so haw-

Thomas: Okay, this is stupid! Izzy does _not_ have a British accent.

Takuya: I think someone's jealous because Izzy's voice is hotter than his is...

Jeri: You are Austrian, right?

Thomas: Yeah, but what's that gotta do with anything?

Jeri: That must mean you can't hear Izzy's accent.

Thomas: That is the most illogical reasoning I've ever heard!

Koji: That doesn't stop the fact that Izzy has a British accent.

Izzy: Are you guys sure I have a British accent? I don't necessarily hear it.

Gennai: But it's true. Right everyone?

Everyone: Yep!

Lily: And there you have it! The jury has spoken.

Izzy: *_looks down at hands_* Wow. All my life, and I never knew I spoke in a British accent...well, thanks for telling me guys.

Everyone: You're welcome!

Thomas: _*rolls eyes*_

Lily: Hey, Meems. You're a very weird girl.

Mimi: *_frowns_* I am?

Lily: Yes! You're just a ball of mystery. So can you shine some light on this question?

_Dear Mimi, _

_What is your favorite color? Pink or Green?_

_-Carolyn from Venice Beach, California_

Mimi: Well, I super love pink, but I'll admit that green goes way better with my complexion. It's a hard decision...but I think I like pink more.

Tai: You think?

Matt: Your whole room is pink!

Joe: You dyed your hair pink.

TK: All of your underwear is pink.

Everyone: ...

Lily: TK, how do you know that?

TK: I opened up the wrong luggage case. Turns out Mimi and I have the same green suitcase.

Mimi: It's true! By the way, TK, your shorts were so tight! How do you ever fit in them?

TK: I don't think that's a viewer question...

Lily: But this one is!

_Dear TK,_

_How could you be so annoying in the first season, but now you're so fucking hot? [P.S.I love you. So much. Like, a lot. Because you're so hot.]_

_-Your secret admirer..._

TK: Thanks for calling me hot...I guess _*nervous laughter*_

Tommy: Wow, you're a super slut! Everyone sure likes you!

Lily: Just took the words right out of my mouth.

JP: I wish I could be as popular with the girls as you can.

Koji: It could have easily been a guy.

TK: Oh jeez, Koji could have a point right there...

Lily: Don't worry about it. I can assure you that it wasn't a guy.

Ken: How can you be so sure?

Lily: I can't...but I know it wasn't a guy! Hey JP!

_Dear JP,_

_Oooh, oooh, I've always wanted to ask this: you're wearing a jumpsuit right? Does that mean you're a fan of Naruto?_

_-Raleigh from Omaha, Nebraska_

JP: A fan? More like a super fan! He's my man crush!

Everyone: ...

Koji: He's always liked the blondes. _*smirks and points at Zoe*_

Lily: Who could blame JP? It seems like the blondes have it going on.

_Dear TK,_

_WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?_

_-Your future lover..._

TK: Heh heh, I'm honored that you would ask for my number. _*blushes*_ My number is (857) _*bleep* *bleep* *bleep*- *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*_.

Lily: Sorry, but we had to censor the number. Just send it to her through email.

TK: Okay.

Lily: Aww, Cody! Someone missed you very much!

_Dear Cody, _

_Why can't you come back on the show? I miss you so much._

_-Rosalie from Honolulu, Hawaii_

Cody: I got eliminated. That's why I couldn't come back...

Rika: That didn't stop some people.

Lily: Kinda makes me wonder how they do come back.

Joe: Aren't you in charge of the show?

Lily: Yes, but sometimes my crew is idiotic.

_Dear Whoever runs this show,_

_How did Koji stay on the island? He was kicked off, but he's the cameraman?_

_-Sasha from St. Petersburg, Russia_

Koji: I agreed to hook the camera because the guy promised me a Big Mac, but he flaked out. That's when I bummed the camera on TK. Speaking of which, where's my Big Mac?

Gennai: Ask the cameraman.

Lily: But you pissed off our cameraman.

_Dear Yolei,_

_What's your favorite anime series? Or do you prefer Disney Channel?_

Yolei: I love anime! I guess you could call me an otaku!

Davis: We've called you an otaku behind your back for years...

Kari: And now that we know you like anime, we can finally tell you to your face.

Yolei: Like I care! I wear my otaku badge proudly!

Matt: You have a badge? I couldn't see it with your huge otaku glasses in the way.

Everyone: Ohhhhhh...

Yolei: What? There's nothing wrong with being a otaku! I mean, how can you not be an otaku after watching Ouran Host Club?

Tai: I have no idea what that is...

Izzy: Ditto.

Kouichi: _*slowly shakes head*_

Matt: You're weird...

Yolei: Matt. _*puts hand on his shoulder*_ I know you only say that because you're insecure about yourself.

Tai: Hahahahhahahahahah!

Matt: Shut up! I am not insecure about myself!

Lily: Then why don't you measure yourself against TK?

Matt: Because I don't feel like it!

Yolei: _*mutters*_ Insecure.

Lily: Just as bad as Joe is...

Matt: You take that back!

Joe: *_pushes glasses up_* Am I really insecure?

Lily: Yeah...you're just an all-around hot mess.

_Dear Joe,_

_Are you secretly afraid of Oreos due to your traumatic/epic nightmare?_

Joe: No...

Tai: Please! He basically admitted it on TV!

Joe: Oh god, oh god, oh god!

Gennai: Calm down! We've got a little present for you. Maybe that'll help you calm your nerves. _*hands Joe a box*_

Joe: I wonder what it *_throws box_* AHHHHH!

Takato: What is it?

Joe:_ *points at box*_ T-t-t-t-th-that!

Zoe: Oreos? I thought you were just kidding about that.

Rika: It's Joe. Of course he's not joking.

Joe: *_whimpers_* Get rid of that! Please!

Lily: Okay, on it! *_picks up Oreos and eats them_* So yummy! Kind of how Kouichi thinks people are yummy.

Kari: Oooh, so you're hypersexual?

Kouichi: _*blushes*_

Lily: No, Kari! I'm talking about something else!

_Dear Kouichi,_

_Are you a vampire? I mean, I've never seen anyone so pale!_

_-Bella from Forks, Washington_

Kouichi: I'm not that pale compared to..._*looks around room*_ Just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I'm pale!

Davis: What did you say?

Kouichi: I meant just because I'm pale doesn't mean I'm a vampire!

Davis: You totally are a vampire!

Koji: Hey, nobody's a vampire until they sparkle in the sun!

Takuya: But Kouichi wears long-sleeved shirts and jeans in the summer...

Koji: Dude, you're a vampire?

Kouichi: No!

JP: It makes a lot of sense. Kouichi holds the powers of darkness, and vampires love the darkness.

Tommy: And Kouichi's pale!

Takuya: And...and...that's all we can think of right now...

Lily: From hypersexual to cybersexual- Izzy, here's another love question for you!

_Hey Izzy,_

_Did you ever go out with your computer, or is your relationship naturally like that?_

_-Axel from Tulsa, Oklahoma_

Izzy: What?! Are you insinuating that I dated my computer?!

JP: No, he's just asking if your first girlfriend was a computer _*munches on chocolate*_

Tommy: Kind of like Plankton and Karen?

Thomas: Precisely like that. A short life-being marrying a piece of technology. It's completely parallel to Izzy's life.

Lily: You watch Spongebob?

Thomas: That's what happens when I go to Marcus's house for Saturday morning breakfast and he hides the remote from me.

Marcus: What? I'm making him watch some real educational programs. It's for his own good.

Thomas: Even Agumon hates that show.

Rika: So you married your computer?

Mimi: You married your computer?! Why do you love your computer more than you love me?_ *cries*_

Izzy: There's no reason get upset! I didn't marry my computer! Some jerkface submitted that question because he thought he was being funny!

Koji: He sure as hell succeeded in that!

Lily: I just love how we have so many different types of fans out there! From funny, to serious, to downright insensitive! Ke, can you guess what type of fan this next viewer is?

_Dear Ken,_

_What happened to your brother? You never told us._

_-Lori from Denver, Colorado_

Ken: He died...

Everyone: You had a brother?!

Ken: I thought I already told you _*looks at the Adventure kids_* that.

Cody: They just don't pay attention to anything we say. They're terrible friends.

Davis: So we didn't make it to your bat mitzvah! Wah wah wah!

Cody: I'm a boy, so you missed my _bar_ mitzvah!

Yolei: Well according to Spain and Portugal, you're a girl!

Cody: You're being absolutely ridiculous!

Tommy: _*tugs on Ken's sleeve*_ Sorry that your brother's dead.

Ken: _*sighs*_ It's okay.

Lily: You guys are bumming me out...why don't we liven up a bit-oops, sorry Ken! Let's...just move on...

_-Kazu: What's your favorite color?_

Kazu: Brown! It's such a cool color. Down-to-earth and warm, just like me.

Koji: The same color of shit, just like you.

Lily: Sorry, but that was funny! From Dumb to Dumber! Kenta, your turn!

_Dear Kenta,_

_What's Kazu's middle name? Is it Steve?_

_-Marshall from Minneapolis, Minnesota_

Kazu: _*puts hand on Kenta's mouth*_ No! Don't tell them anything!

Kenta: lmmm gmm omm miii fmmms!

Kazu: Never!

Kenta: _*bites Kazu's hand*_

Kazu: OWWWWW!

Kenta: HisnameisOlivia!

Ken: I don't know if I heard right, but it sounded like Kenta said Kazu's middle name is Olivia...

Kazu: Now you're just hearing things! Next question! _*snatches letter from Lily*_

Lily: Hey! You almost gave me a papercut!

Kazu: _*clears throat*_

_Dear Takato,_

_How the hell do you remember anything?!_

_-Alice from Tokyo, Japan_

Takato: I honestly don't remember..._*scratches head*_

Lily: You don't remember how you remember anything?

Takato: No.

Lily: I can't wrap my brain around this. Kinda like the next question...who comes up with these?

_Dear Kouichi, _

_Is you true that you were arrested?_

_-Brad from New Orleans, Louisiana_

Kouichi: Who said I got arrested?

Koji: Heheheheheh _*snickers*_ He had a drinking problem.

Kouichi: Don't believe anything he says!

Yoshi: That would explain why you look so depressed all of the time.

Kouichi: Do I honestly look depressed?

Jeri: You kinda do. You always have that sad look in your eyes.

Lily: You Frontier kids are my favorite group, but you're a sad bunch...especially Tommy.

_Dear Tommy, _

_Didn't you say, at the end of your season, that you wouldn't be a crybaby? Whatever happened to that?_

_-Louis from San Antonio, Texas_

Tommy: You're a big meanie! I am not a crybaby!

Gennai: Then why are you crying right now?

Tommy: I'm not crying! You guys are just being mean! Waaaaah!

TK: Don't listen to them! I used to cry all the time, but look how I turned out.

Tommy: Wha-wha-WAAAAH! I don't wanna grow up to be pathetic like you!

TK: That's not nice _*sniffles*_

Gennai: Are you gonna cry? _*smirks*_

TK: No...excuse me _*gets up from seat and walks off the stage*_

Lily: Oh brother...so JP. Here's a question that we're all dying to know the answer to! Please let it be yes!

_Dear JP, _

_Did you bring any chocolate with you? Can I have some?_

JP: I kinda ate the last piece...sorry.

Gennai: _*shakes his head at huge pile of candy wrappers next to JP*_ Fatass.

Lily: And there you have it! Thank you all for submitting your questions! I hope you learned a lot of interesting things about our contestants! Now stay tuned for the season finale, where the Final Four fight each other for the grand prize!

Gennai: Look, me and Thomas came up with a bet chart!

Lily: _*shoots dirty look at Thomas*_

Thomas: I had nothing to do with it! Gennai just mentioned me because he thinks his chart would sound more plausible if I was involved with it, which I'm not.

Lily: Hmmm...

* * *

_Secret Message from Lily: Izzy doesn't have a British accent, but don't tell him that..._


	29. The Final Wipeout (Part 1)

**Lily's Contribution Corner**: This episode is brought to you in part by:

-**Lilfoc**: CEO of _Lil' Fockers Day Care_! Is your kid annoying? If you said yes, then send them over, where it's okay to call your kids Lil' Fockers! Lil' Fockers Day Care, where we lock your kids up in a janitor's closet because you didn't have enough love to do it yourself! Call us at (857) LIL-FOCK for a free information packet today!

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_*Requirements: must be able to roller-skate. Duh._

-**BlackWarGreymon**, co-founder o_f Slayerdramon and BlackWarGreymon's Training Ground_! This month only: Fitness guru Gotsumon will hold a couple of ab-crunching classes every Tuesday and Thursday night from 4-6 and 7-9! You'll get rock-hard abs in as little as a couple of sessions! Slayerdramon and BlackWarGreymon's Training Ground, where we'll make a man out of you, even if you're a woman!

-**Ross**, creator of _Rosstafarian Shakes!_ Try our 30 delicious concoctions, including our ever-so-popular Jamaican Me Go Bananas, Limey Jerk, Bob Marlberry, Dreadnut Dreadlocks, Guava Gonja, Reggae Citrus, and so much more!

-**Guest**, one of the associates at _Guest Who,_ the secret society where even the members don't even know the other society members! Interested in being a part of our elite group? Just go to the phone booth two blocks away and someone will deliver a cryptic message to you. Before you read the letter, make sure no one's watching you. From there, be prepared to start the journey of your life. Guest Who, the secret society of secret members! We would say that James Bond was an alumni, but we're not allowed to deny or reveal any of our club members.

* * *

**The Final Wipeout! (Part 1)**

"Having a big breakfast is a very important part of an active day! Gotta start off the day with lots of proteins and carbs," Gennai sang as he plopped a couple of pancakes on Marcus's plate.

"Wow, this is amazing! Who cooked this?" Kari shoved some pancakes in her mouth.

"Seriously. There must be something wrong with this food because you guys are too cheap to hire a good chef," Rika poked at her Canadian bacon.

"I don't care! This stuff is sooo good!" Kazu slammed his face into his plate. "Nom nom nom!"

"Glad to hear you like it because Mrs. Kamiya cooked this breakfast!" Lily sipped at a protein shake as she picked off the cereal from her Lucky Charms.

"She did? This stuff's actually...good," Marcus stared at his stuffed pancakes.

"Yep, those culinary courses really improved her skills," Gennai chomped on a granola bar.

"Hey kids! I whipped up some more food!" Mrs. Kamiya set a huge pile of Belgian waffles in the middle of the table.

"Yay!" Kazu picked his head up from his plate and snatched a waffle.

"Wow, this has to be the best meal I had since this show started!" Marcus raved.

"Aww, how sweet!" Mrs. Kamiya gushed.

"Oh man! I can feel my food baby kicking!" Kazu rubbed his belly.

"Gross," Rika made a face and went back to wrapping a chicken finger in with a pancake.

"Mom, this is amazing!" Kari said.

"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all good. Now get back in the kitchen!" Gennai slapped Mrs. Kamiya's bum.

"Ooh, cheeky one there," Mrs. Kamiya winked.

"Blechhh," Lily regurgitated her marshmallows back into her bowl. "Save the sexual harassment for behind the camera!"

"Aww, Lil! If it bugs you children that much, then close your eyes!" Gennai stuck his tongue out.

"What are you trying to say?" Lily gave Gennai a stern look.

"I'm not saying anything, but you're throwing a hissy fit, you have a pink crown on your head, you're only eating the marshmallow part of your Lucky Charms, and you're drinking PediaSure from a swirly straw," Gennai smirked.

"And your point is...?" Lily glared at Gennai.

"Nothing really, just that you're being a brat," Gennai casually said.

"Oh yeah?!" Lily yelled. "Just remember that this little brat signs your checks!"

*_sploosh_*

"Ha hah hah hah hah!" Gennai and Kazu laughed.

"Missed me!" Gennai mocked.

"Ewww," Kari frowned. She had sticky marshmallows all over her hair.

"Hearts, stars and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons," Kazu picked the marshmallows out of Kari's hair and ate them. "Pots of gold and rainbows, and the red balloon!"

"I'm finished," Lily calmly placed her sticky spoon down on the table. "When you kids are done with breakfast, head off to the purple trailer parked in front. The makeover stylists will be waiting out there for you."

"Oh boy," Kazu rubbed his hands together.

"Oh boy," everyone else groaned.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"I'm so gonna kick everyone's ass!" Kazu raised his fist in the air.

* * *

"I'm so gonna kick Kazu's ass," Rika slammed her fist against her palm.

* * *

"I'm so gonna kick Kazu's ass," Marcus cracked his knuckles.

* * *

"Does my ass look too big in these shorts?" Kari turned her butt to the camera.

**Daily Poll: Does Kari's ass look too big in those shorts? Send the codes below to TDIFI (83434) * to tell us what you think!**

**PLANK if you think Kari's seeing things because she only has back and legs, and nothing in between.**

**JLO if you think Kari's ass looks perfectly cute in those shorts.**

**SLIMFAST if you think...well, the code kinda makes it obvious of what you think.**

_*Message and data rates may apply._

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!_

"This is our last challenge, so we have to make it big! Extravagant! Bigger than Kari's ass in those hideous shorts! Humongous! Grande!" Lily boomed.

"I think you've got the point across, Nicki Minaj," Gennai smirked. He shook his head disapprovingly at the crewmen who were renovating the BMX track into a Colosseum arena.

"What? I happen to love this outfit! I picked it out myself!" Lily stood up and twirled in front of the camera. She was wearing a tiny purple top hat, a pink tutu, mismatched polkadot socks, neon green high-tops, a hot pink wristband on one arm and a bunch of neon slap bracelets on the other.

"I can clearly see that," Gennai flatly said. "You look like what would happen if the 80's threw up all over the Mad Hatter."

"And you look like an old man!" Lily snapped. "Now shut the hell up! This is supposed to be a sports commentary, not a fashion commentary!"

"I look like an old man?! But I just got this reconstructive surgery a couple of months ago!" Gennai pulled out a mirror and looked at his reflection.

"Fellow viewers, this is the moment you've all been waiting for! Over the past several weeks, we've seen our 26 contestants dwindle down to our Final Four! Now, the time has come for us to see who will claim the victory! Gennai! Can you please be a doll and remind the viewers of what the grand prize is?" Lily said.

"The winner will get a chance to reunite with their digimon, have a feature spread in Gamer Magazine and best of all...$1,000,000!" Gennai grinned.

"Now, before we start the games, our final contestants will be presented with their tribute tokens!" Lily yelled into her microphone. "From the east wing...our queen of ice, Rika!"

*_YAAAAAAY_*

Rika walked to the center of the arena, where Jeri gave her a necklace with a diamond pendant on it.

*_Woot woot_!*

"Like a breath of fresh air, and light as wind...to the west wing is Kari!"

Tai presented Kari with her tribute token. It was a pendant in the shape of a gladiator sandal with wings on the side.

_*clap clap clap*_

"Seems like Kari has a lot of fan love," Gennai remarked.

"Go Kari, go Kari, GO!" Davis sat in the audience, clapping like a seal.

"She sure does," Lily shot Davis a look of pity.

"Coming from the north wing, with a temper hotter than fire, put your hands together for Marcus!" Gennai announced.

*_clap_*

Thomas went down on one knee and handed Marcus a dog tag with flames painted on it.

_*cricket cricket*_

"Thanks guys, thanks! Love the support," Marcus grumbled.

* * *

_In another world..._

"I wonder who he's talking to. It's not like any of us are rooting for him," Kristy dipped her chips in a jar of blue cheese.

"Now Kristy, be nice," Sarah Damon gave her daughter a warning glance.

"Why?" Kristy asked.

"Marcus may not be as...winner-material as Rika, but he's still your brother and my son," Sarah said.

"Then why are you wearing a Team Rika shirt, Sarah?" Sampson tilted his shades.

"Why don't you ever take off those sunglasses? We're indoors," Sarah quipped.

"Because we're too badass to show our eyes to the world," Yamaki said.

"Mom...who the hell is that?" Kristy whispered.

"I have no idea," Sarah snuck a look at Yamaki. She walked up to Sampson and whispered in his ear. "Do you know who that is?"

"No, I thought you invited him," Sampson whispered back.

"These fried eggs are delicious, Sarah," Yamaki said.

"Thanks," Sarah awkwardly nodded.

* * *

"And from the south wing, Kazu! Down to earth, and just as low as dirt!" Lily said.

*_BOOOOO_!*

"Everyone else might hear booing, but I hear nothing but jealousy! Suck it bitches!" Kazu mooned the audience.

"Pull your pants up!" Lily growled.

"Okay," Kazu whined and zipped them back up.

"Hold still," Henry pinned a badge on Kazu's shirt.

"What the hell is that?" Gennai asked Lily.

"I don't know. Cameraman, zoom in on Kazu," Lily said.

"On it," Koji adjusted the camera.

"My badge kinda looks like a turd," Kazu looked at his pin.

"Be nice. Suzie made it for you, since your tribute token had to symbolize dirt," Henry crossed his arms.

"Thanks Suzie! This is the dirtiest turd ever!" Kazu grinned.

"It's supposed to be a lump of earth, not a turd," Henry said through his teeth.

"And there we have it! Earth, Wind, Fire and Ice! These final four will race through the Digital World to go back to where everything started!" Lily said dramatically.

"You mean back to when their parents were completely wasted and nine months later, these kids popped out?" Gennai asked.

"My mom only had me for 6 months. She said I was really advanced compared to all the other kids my age," Kazu bragged.

"That explains a lot," Lily looked at Kazu with concern.

* * *

_A Health Bulletin From Thomas H. Norstein, M.D._

"Hello. My name is-"

"We already know what your name is!" Takuya yelled.

"Unbelievable," Thomas muttered to himself. "Anyways, I, Thomas H. Norstein, M.D., want to talk to you about premature infants-"

"You mean immature infants!" Matt interrupted.

"Ohhh, that's a good one!" Tai high-fived him.

"The normal term of pregnancy is around 40 weeks, but it's okay if the baby is born a couple of days after or before its due date; nothing has to be completely exact. It only becomes a problem when the standard deviation falls beyond the three-week mark. When your infant is born before 37 weeks, that marks them in the premature category. Because premature babies haven't had as much time to develop as full-term babies, they have a higher chance of health complications, such as autism, cerebral palsy, learning difficulties, behavioral issues, and respiratory, sight, and hearing problems. You are most likely to go through premature labor if you:

-drink, smoke, engage in illicit drugs or other risky behavior

-are black

-work long hours

-live in stressful environment

-are younger than 17 or older than 35

-have poor nutrition

-are either underweight or overweight."

"So you're saying that if you want to delay premature birth, you can't drink alcohol?" Takuya asked.

"Or be black?" Tommy asked.

"No, those are just risk factors that can increase the chance of premature birth," Thomas sighed.

"So I won't necessarily go through premature labor?" an older, overweight black man raised his hand.

"Who's that?" the audience mumbled.

"Well, no. But that's mostly because you are male," Thomas said.

"Thank god!" the man wiped his forehead in relief and sat back down in his chair.

"If I may continue, I'd like to show you a couple of examples. I have two examples of premature labor, and I also provided a control example so you can compare. I will name them Exhibit A, B, and C," Thomas pinned some Polaroids on what used to be the felt top of a pool table. "Exhibit A is a healthy young woman, who never smoked, drank, or did drugs during her pregnancy. Note that she isn't under or overweight, and that she isn't black," Thomas pointed at a Polaroid with a drumstick.

"Uh huh," the audience pulled out mini notebooks and starting jotting stuff down.

"Next up is Exhibit B. She is a successful African-American woman in her mid-30s. Although she has acquired a good-paying job, she has to work long hours in an overwhelming environment," Thomas pointed to the second picture.

"Okay, okay," everyone nodded and scribbled away on their notebooks.

"And the last example, a 16-year-old white girl, who has alcoholism and a strong dependency on hardcore drugs, including meth and cocaine. Obviously, she isn't taking very good care of herself, especially when her drug usage only contributes to her being underweight. Like Exhibit B, she also works long hours, but at a dead-end job at a...," Thomas shuddered.

"Thomas, are you okay?" Sora asked.

"I'm fine. I just don't know how to phrase this without demeaning these women or myself," Thomas said.

"Does she work at a whore house?" Davis grinned.

"Yes," Thomas pressed his palm firmly against his forehead. "Yes, she works at a...gentleman's club."

"She sounds like a hot mess," Yoshi frowned.

"Now that we have the introductions out of the way, I will show you how the results of their pregnancies. Exhibit A will be used as the standard to show you how an infant turns out after a normal pregnancy," Thomas ripped off the picture of Exhibit A to reveal another photograph underneath it.

"Hey! That's you!" Joe gasped.

"Correct," Thomas said. "Now let me show you how Exhibit B's offspring turned out," he ripped Exhibit B's picture out of the board.

"Holy crap! That's Kenta!" the audience gasped.

"Your mom's black?" TK asked in awe.

"Yeah, but Rika said that my real mom gave me up for adoption because she didn't love me," Kenta sighed.

"Then how did you get adopted?" Zoe asked.

"Rika said my real mom paid my parents lots of money to take me," Kenta frowned.

"Are you going to listen to everything Rika says?" Izzy asked.

"Wouldn't you? She is one of the smarter contestants," Ryo said.

"Let's move on, please," Thomas tapped his foot. "As you can see in this example, Exhibit B's child suffers with some sight issues," Thomas tapped on Kenta's picture. "If you have been acquainted with him, you would also know he has poor coordination skills, even worse social skills, and uses an inhaler."

"Oh my gosh, that's so true!" Takato gasped.

"And now we move on to the most tragic of all examples. Due to her lifestyle choices, her child is severely...," Thomas paused.

"What is it now?" Ken gave Thomas a concerned look.

"I don't know how to say this without sounding offensive...," Thomas took in a deep breath.

"You need to stop mincing your words! Just say what's in your heart, your soul!" Takuya slid his hands all over his chest.

"No, it's politically incorrect," Thomas said.

"Takuya's got a point. Just say the kid turned out to be completely retarded and let's move on," Yolei huffed.

"Fine, but your words, not mine," Thomas sighed. "Anyways, this is Exhibit C's child."

"I knew his mom was a crack whore!" Ryo jumped out of his seat.

"Hey, that's not very nice! Kazu's mom is a nice lady!" Kenta yelled.

"That doesn't mean she isn't a crack whore," JP shrugged.

"Why do I bother teaching these people anything?" Thomas groaned.

"Hey everyone!" Mimi walked in front of the room, with a tray in her hands.

"Mimi?" everyone froze.

"I made some desserts. I hope you like them," Mimi held the tray up.

"Cinnamon buns!" everyone tackled her.

"Ahhh!" Mimi fell back as everyone grabbed a cinnamon bun.

"Phffft!"

"Yuck!"

"Blech!"

"Guys, what's wrong?" Mimi got up from the floor.

"These things suck!" Davis licked his arm.

"They're not cooked all the way," Ken explained.

"Darnfuckits! Those buns came out of the oven too early!" Mimi pouted.

* * *

_We now bring you back to our regular programming!_

"Are you guys ready to fight?" Lily hollered.

"Yeah!" everyone yelled back.

"Okay then! Time to strap you guys up!" As soon as Lily said that, the ground began to shake. The colosseum bleachers sunk underneath and a huge cylinder popped up. A couple of burly interns began to pick up the kids and bring them over to the cylinder.

"Don't you even think about it," Marcus growled.

"Okay, just go," the intern pointed in the direction of the cylinder.

"Good, good, everyone's strapped in," Lily jumped off her podium and circled around the cylinder. "Okay, before we start, put these on," she put orange sunglasses on everyone.

"What the?"

"Whoaaaa, radical!"

"What's the big deal?"

"I can't see clearly in these!"

"Good! Only makes things funner!" Lily squealed. "We're going to start off the games with a little something I like to call the Dizzy Dummy! Gennai, will you do the honors?"

"With pleasure!" Gennai pulled out a mallet and slammed it against a big orange button. The cylinder began spinning really fast.

"Whoooaaaahhhh!" Kari screamed.

"Oh no! My water broke! My food baby's gonna come out!" Kazu shouted.

"You better keep it in your pants!" Rika yelled.

"Hah! That's what she said!" Marcus laughed.

"How can you be making jokes like this when we're spinning at 120 miles an hour?" Kari queasily said.

"Having fun, guys?" Lily asked.

"Not really," everyone said at the same time.

"Aww, pooh!" Lily frowned.

"POO!" Kazu yelled.

"You better not! I'm not fucking joking! I will beat the fuck out of you!" Marcus threatened.

"Okay, Gennai! Stop the machine before anyone splatters!" Lily called out.

"Alright," Gennai whined. "Uh, Lily?"

"What?"

"The button isn't working...," Gennai frantically pushed the button.

"What?!" the kids shrieked.

"Don't worry! This machine will run out of power eventually, right Izzy?" Lily grabbed Izzy's shoulder.

"Yeah, when it gets darker," Izzy said.

"What?!" Lily shrieked.

"This contraption is powered by solar energy," Izzy said.

"Whose dumb idea was that?" Lily scoffed.

"Yours," Gennai and Izzy said in unison.

"You did want to make this show somewhat eco-friendly to gain approval from other TV networks," Izzy said.

"So this thing isn't going to stop any time soon?" Kari screamed.

"I'm afraid so," Izzy replied.

"Oh, the button works after all! You just need to give it a little punch!" Gennai pressed the button.

*_screeeech_* The cylinder jerked and came to a quick halt. The interns rushed over and unbuckled the kids.

"I don't feel too good," Kari slurred.

"Awesome! That means it's going as I planned!" Lily squealed. "How are the rest of you holding up?"

"I'm feeling tipsy," Marcus stumbled.

"That's because you guys are also wearing beer goggles! Now, you guys have to go straight ahead to that Bugles-shaped cone. Over there, you'll find some stuff that'll help you out during this challenge. I suggest you get there before anyone else, because there's only enough stuff for two people. From there, you'll get more instructions! Have fun on the Final Wipeout, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" Lily said in a silly accent. She pulled out a bag of Bugles and opened it. "Want some, Izzy?"

"Sure," he grabbed a fistful.

"How about me?" Gennai yelled.

"No," Lily hugged the bag of chips.

* * *

"Whoa...," Kazu teetered around.

"Get lost!" Marcus tried to push Kazu away, but completely missed him.

"Hah hah!" Kazu laughed.

"I'm not doing too good," Kari clutched on to her stomach.

"This is stupid. I'm taking these...," Rika pulled on her glasses. "They're not coming off!"

"Hah hah! Your head's too big!" Kazu jeered.

"That's ridiculous! It's not like these glasses are...what the hell?!" Marcus tried to take his goggles off but they were stuck to his head.

"Guys, are you trying to trick me?" Kari panicked.

"Why would I joke around?" Rika snarled.

"Yeah, Kar! Does it look like Rika has a sense of humor?" Kazu laughed.

*_trip_*

"Can it!" Marcus tripped Kazu and kicked him.

"Don't tell me I'm going to be a gogglehead for the rest of this competition!" Rika growled. "They won't move!"

"How about we stop freaking out and get to the giant Bugle chip? Maybe someone will help us out then?" Kari suggested.

"Seems like Kazu's beating us to the chase," Rika grumbled.

"Not if I can help it! There's no way I'm gonna let that twerp beat me!" Marcus ran after Kazu.

"I already lost my dignity by wearing these goggles, and there's no way I'm letting Kazu take the rest of it away!" Rika stumbled forward.

"Oh boy...," Kari weakly said.

* * *

_At the Cornucopia, I mean Giant Bugle Chip!_

"I...made...it...," Marcus tried to catch his breath.

"Barely!" Kazu scoffed.

"You...," Rika gruffly said. She dragged herself over the sand. She raised her arm and pulled Kazu's foot off the ground.

*_crash_!*

"What was that for?" Kazu whined.

"Did I miss anything?" Kari panted.

"No. This stupid place is empty! What gives?" Marcus put his hands on his hips.

"_Hey! Can you hear me?_"

"God? Is that you?" Kazu looked around.

"_Aww, people have called me that before!_"

"Hi Lily," Marcus groaned.

_"Take off your goggles and put them in the trash bin in the corner,_" she commanded through the intercom.

"But-"

_"Just do it!"_

"Thank god!" Rika effortlessly whipped her goggles off and dropped them into the wastebasket.

"I can see straight again," Kari sighed.

"Wish we could say the same about Kazu," Marcus muttered.

"Man, I liked these things," Kazu pouted and dropped his glasses into the garbage bin.

"_Everyone dropped their beer goggles in?_"

"Yes."

"_Okay then. Now I want you to turn around. You should see a blue bin on the other side_."

"You mean the mailbox looking thing that has a sign that says 'Reesickle' on it?" Kazu squinted his eyes.

"_Yes, that one_."

"You know you spelled recycle wrong?" Kari said.

"_Don't blame me. Izzy wrote the sign_," Lily scoffed. "_Now, inside that bin are a bunch of recycled digivices. I want you to stick your hands inside and grab the first one you touch. They will serve as your compass throughout the challenge by pointing you in the direction of the winner's circle on File Island. Whether or not you follow the compass is all up to you, but it is very highly recommended that you do follow it. Got it?_"

"Yeah," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Who wants to go first?" Kari shuffled her feet in the dirt.

"I'll go," Marcus reached inside the recycle bin and pulled out a red digivice.

"Hey, that's Takato's digivice!" Kazu gasped.

"_I told you those things were recycled_."

"That's supposed to be a digivice? It looks more like a pedometer," Marcus dangled the digivice in front of his face.

* * *

_And now, a lovely moment with the (useful) Tamers..._

"My digivice does not look like a pedometer! I did download this pedometer app on it, but that doesn't make my digivice a pedometer," Takato said.

"Takato, it kinda does make your digivice a pedometer," Henry pointed out.

"Oh really? Does that mean that your digivice is some kind of psychic because you downloaded some stupid Chinese horoscope app on your digivice?" Takato raised an eyebrow.

"That's not the same thing," Hery crossed his arms.

"Yeah, Takato! It's a half-Chinese horoscope app!" Jeri chimed in.

"How can a horoscope be half-Chinese?" Ryo asked.

"That's what happens when you get the free version. If I want all twelve signs, I have to buy the full app for $3.99," Henry sighed.

"Bummer," everyone frowned.

"Well, at least your digivice worked. Mine is so completely burnt out, they refused to recycle it," Jeri fumbled with her yellow digivice.

"Bummer..."

* * *

"Which one did you get?" Kari looked over Rika's shoulder.

"Can you wait until I get my hand out of this stupid mailbox first?" Rika snarled.

"Sorry...," Kari grimaced.

"That used to be Thomas's!" Marcus pointed at Rika's digivice.

"My turn!" Kazu thrust his hand inside the recycle bin and slid his hand over all the digivices. "Eeny, Meeny, Miney-"

"Pick one!" Marcus growled.

"Ah!" Kazu clutched a random digivice and fell backwards.

"That's TK's digivice!" Kari said.

"This is supposed to be a digivice? It looks like if a beeper had sex with a walkie talkie," Kazu held up his digivice by its antennae.

"Alright, Kari. Your turn," Marcus said.

"I don't know why, but I feel so nervous right now," Kari took a deep breath before she reached inside the mailbox.

"Just hurry up. It smells like nachos in here," Rika huffed.

"Okay," Kari pulled a lavender D-Tector from the bin. "Hey, do any of you recognize this digivice?"

"Nope."

"Not a clue."

"Nuh uh."

"That sucks. I was hoping that this one belonged to someone," Kari frowned.

"Just think of it as if you had a brand new digivice. We got all of these used ones," Kazu said. "Don't even get me started on this piece of crap. It looks like something from the 1990's! It looks like the baby monitor my neglectful mother refused to get because she thought the police would use it to bug our house!"

* * *

_A fine word from the Adventure kids!_

"My digivice does not look like a baby monitor. Kazu's completely over exaggerating," TK bit the inside of his cheek.

"How? Everything he said actually made sense," Matt smirked.

"Like the fact that he had a neglectful mother?" Cody said.

"Well, yeah, but that's not the only thing," Sora said.

"Kazu's got a good point. It does look like it was from the 1990's," Joe said.

"And we all know that the 1990's was the era of horrible fashion," Mimi said. "Overalls, crimped hair, butterfly clips, sunflower prints, skorts, jelly shoes? So gross! The only place jelly should be is in a jar!"

"Mimi, didn't you have all of those things?" Tai shot Mimi a mischievous look.

"I was only experimenting! I was a confused little girl back then," Mimi sighed.

"Oooh, tell me more," Yolei grinned.

"She was experimenting with fashion, not with what you're thinking of," Cody gave Yolei a disapproving look.

"Oh. That's boring," Yolei frowned.

"Didn't Gennai make these digivices in the 1990's?" Ken asked.

"Hey, just be happy I finished the damn things. Sure, I procrastinated for at least 1990 years, but at least I made them before 2000!" Gennai huffed.

* * *

"How about it Kari? I'll take your pink digivice and you can have TK's," Kazu bargained.

"The pink one suits him better," Rika muttered.

"I dunno. You can't just pick what you want when it comes to the digital world. If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be," Kari said.

"But Takato got to choose his digimon," Rika smirked.

"Didn't you also pick your digimon?" Marcus sneered.

"No. Renamon chose me. Completely different story," Rika shook her head.

"See? With the exception of Takato, we didn't choose our digimon, or digivice," Kari said.

"Hmmm, not good enough reason for me. Hey Lily, can we trade?" Kazu whined.

"_No_."

"Fine...," Kazu pouted. "Stupid baby monitor."

"Alright, we've got our digivices, now what? We're stuck inside this overgrown chip," Marcus huffed.

"_In order to get out of here, you're gonna need to...well, Kazu beat you to the punch_," Lily trailed off. There was a huge hole on the side of the Bugle chip.

"He ate the damn wall," Marcus was stunned.

"What are you guys waiting for? At this point, I don't really care who wins, as long as it isn't Kazu!" Rika jumped out of the hole.

"Gotta start movin'!" Marcus leaped out of the Bugle chip.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Although I really do agree with what Rika said, I don't know if any of us will beat Kazu. He's the first one to make it to the supplies...," Kari paused.

* * *

"Anybody hungry? Because you can bite my dust, bitches!" Kazu shuffled his feet backwards in the dirt.

"Dipshit," Marcus flicked Kazu in the head and casually walked over to the supplies.

"Hey, gimme what you got," Marcus leaned over the counter. A short, stocky blond boy and a guy in a huge suit of armor stood behind the booth, and there were a couple of dark crystals sitting on the counter..

"Gimme? Do you really expect me to give you anything with an arrogant attitude like that?" the blond boy took the crystals and placed them to the side. "I can't just give these to anybody, and personally, I don't think you can handle the powers of these elements before me, especially with your lack of-."

"Niceness!" the guy in the suit of armor cut him off.

"I refuse to let these crystals fall into the wrong hands," the blonde boy stated.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm Marcus freakin' Damon, the ultimate fighter! Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what I can't handle?" Marcus slapped his chest.

"I'm Edward Elric, state alchemist. And that over there is my little brother, Al!" the blonde boy said.

"Hi," the guy in the armor suit waved to Marcus.

"Little? Then why is he bigger than you?" Marcus smirked.

"Shut up! How-dare-you-call-me-a-pipsqueak-so-short-that-I-could-be-a-teller-at-a-piggy-bank?!" Ed spazzed out.

"Ho, buddy! You need to chill out. I never said that! Talk about a Napoleon complex," Marcus grimaced.

"Hey! I do not have a Napoleon complex! What are you trying to say now?! That I'm so short, I make the Keebler Elves look tall?!" Ed yelled.

"Holy crap! I didn't say that...even if it is true," Marcus said haughtily.

"Brother...," Al tapped Ed on the shoulder.

"Not now, Al! I'm in the middle of teaching this guy a lesson!" Ed pushed up the sleeves of his jacket.

"You're gonna teach me a lesson? What is it? How to look taller without using high heels?" Marcus scoffed.

"Why you little-"

"You're the little one," Marcus laughed. "I'm at least two heads taller than you!"

"Brother! That kid just took away the element crystals," Al pointed at Kazu, who was running off.

"Why didn't you warn me?!" Ed yelled.

"I tried to tell you, but you were too busy arguing with Marcus," Al shrugged.

"And you didn't want those crystals to fall into the wrong hands. Pretty smart of you to freak out on me, when he's the one you should have watched out for," Marcus smirked.

"Ayayayayayaya! This is great!" Ed frantically ran his fingers through his hair. "The end of the world as we know it!"

"Brother, you can't necessarily know that. That kid looked completely harmless," Al said.

"Harmless," Marcus said sarcastically.

"Harmless, Al?! The kid's wearing a visor! If that's not a sign of how much of a screw up he is, then I don't what is!" Ed exclaimed.

"Don't worry! I'll take care of him. Trust me on that," Marcus cracked his knuckles. "By the way, thanks for the help! I would have never made it this far without you."

"I don't need your sarcasm!" Ed yelled.

"Geez, I think I know where they get the phrase 'short-tempered' from," Marcus muttered loud enough for Ed to hear him.

"Hey! I am not short-tempered! You come back here! I'll show you!"

"Brother," Al calmly restrained Ed. "It's not worth all your energy to fight over something petty."

"Gah, let me go!"

"Peace out, Midget and Tin Man!" Marcus chuckled and ran off.

* * *

Rika scanned her surroundings. There were two booths around, and Marcus was already at one of them, so she walked over to the empty one.

"Hi! Ash Ketchum here! Wanna see my badge collection?" a little boy with messy, dark hair popped up from under the counter.

"No, I don't have time for that. I just need to get my supplies and get out of here," Rika grunted.

"So you don't care about the fact that I have a bunch of badges because I defeated a bunch of Gym Leaders?" Ash asked.

"Not really," Rika impatiently tapped her foot.

"I'm trying to be the best Pokemon master in the world!" Ash said in pride.

"Aren't Pokemon the retarded digimon?" Rika gave Ash a strange look.

"I prefer to call them slowly-developed," Ash pressed his lips together. "I gotta catch 'em all!"

"Why? As far as I'm concerned, Pokemon are useless and defenseless," Rika scoffed.

"That's why! Pokemon are so easy to capture, and I plan to get as much as I can!"

"Oh my god! You're a Digimon Kaiser?!" Kari gasped.

"No. He only goes after the dimwitted Pokemon," Rika said.

"So you're trying to take advantage of the weak ones?" Kari slapped Ash in the face.

"No! It's not what it's like!" Ash rubbed his face.

"Just give me the damn supplies already!" Rika yelled. She looked at the corner of her eye and saw Marcus chasing after Kazu.

"Not until I show you my badge collection!" Ash placed a glass box on the counter.

"Fine. Whatever. Just make it quick," Rika rolled her eyes.

"You see, I won a Volcano Badge, that's a Beacon Badge, oh, this is a Zephyr Badge, a Glacier Badge, an Earth Badge and that's pretty much it so far," Ash shrugged.

"Lamest story ever," Rika droned.

*_scrrreeeech_*

"What the hell is that?" Rika said, irate.

"I think it's this," Kari said. Her digivice made a sharp, whirring sound.

"_Initiating Fractal Code Digitize...,_" a light beam came out of Kari's digivice and sucked up Ash's badges.

"Hey! You took my badges!" Ash whined.

"Don't tell me those were the supplies," Rika took a deep breath.

"Okay, I won't. I'll just find out for myself. Bye Rika!" Kari dashed off.

"You've got to be frickin' kidding me!" Rika kicked the booth. "I'm not leaving empty-handed!"

"You don't really have a choice," Ash said matter-of-factly.

"Shut up!" Rika jumped behind the counter and punched Ash in the face. "I'll take your stupid hat! And I'll take your backpack too!" Rika grabbed Ash's backpack and leaped over the booth.

"Hey!" Ash groaned.

"You know what? I change my mind. You can have your stupid hat back. It looks like something a gas attendant at the Quick-E Mart would wear," Rika roughly flung the baseball cap at Ash.

"Ow...," Ash whined.

"Great, thanks to those bastards, I'm last place!" Rika grumbled. She slung the green backpack over her shoulder and ran toward her competitors. "Why is everyone stopping?" she wondered. Marcus and Kari were standing over Kazu, who was playing around in the dirt.

"Are you freakin' serious?! You're the dumbest shit I know!" Marcus yelled.

"What? I'm trying to share my elements with you guys, so that we all have something," Kazu said.

"That's really generous, but I think we're all fine," Kari stuttered.

"Do what you want buddy, but just know I'm taking your supplies when you kill yourself," Marcus put his hands on his hips.

"Bah! That's not gonna happen," Kazu sneered.

"I should probably move on ahead, but what's going on?" Rika asked.

"This could finally be the destruction of Kazu," Marcus whispered.

"I think he's doing witchcraft...," Kari nervously looked at Kazu.

"I saw this on TV, so it has to work!" Kazu grinned. He drew a huge circle in the dirt, and then drew a triangle inside the circle. "I will now place these crystals equidistant to each other," he pulled the crystals out of his pocket. "Next thing I do is close my eyes, meditate, and believe in the power of the crystals. The element of steel, thunder, water, wood, and darkness! Combine yourselves into one!" Kazu clapped his hands.

The earth began to shake and trees randomly popped up from the ground. Rain suddenly appeared and it began to heavily downpour. The raindrops fell to the ground and instantly turned into steel ball bearings.

"Ow ow owww!"

Without warning, the sky quickly grew darker and darker and thunder crackled loudly into the sky.

"Kazu, I'd kill you but I can't see anything!" Marcus growled.

"You idiot!" Rika yelled.

_*BOOM*_

"Ahhh!"

"Kari, are you okay?" Marcus yelled.

"Actually, that was me..."

"Figures it would be Kazu," Rika growled.

"I'm scared," Kari shuddered.

"Just remember, if we die, it's all Kazu's fault!" Marcus said.

"What did I do?" Kazu squeaked.

_*BOOM*_

"Whoaaaaa!"

"We're all goners!"

**_To Be Continued..._**


	30. The Final Wipeout (Part 2)

**Lily's Walk of Shame: Sorry about the super late update :(**

**As some of you might know, I write all of my stories on my iPhone, so when my iPhone wiped out all of my memory (bye bye contacts, photos, music, and sadly my notes), I was more than ticked! Hopefully that doesn't happen again, because I spent a lot of time as is to write this and more time trying to remember what I wrote. End rant, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**The Final Wipeout (Part Two)**

"The element of steel, thunder, water, wood, and darkness! Combine yourselves into one!"

_*plink plink plink plink*_

"Ow ow owww!"

"Kazu, I'd kill you but I can't see anything!" Marcus growled.

"You idiot!" Rika yelled.

*_BOOM_*

"Ahhh!"

"Kari, are you okay?" Marcus yelled.

"Actually, that was me..."

"Figures it would be Kazu," Rika growled.

"I'm scared," Kari shuddered.

"Just remember, if we die, it's all Kazu's fault!" Marcus said.

"What did I do?" Kazu squeaked.

*_BOOM_*

"Whoaaaaa!"

"We're all goners!"

* * *

_*tick tick tick tick tick*_

"Whoa, did I die or something?" Marcus groaned. He had landed on a big, pink cloud and now he was struggling to get up from it. He was surrounded by many fluffy clouds and some random floating clocks.

_*Cuckoo cuckoo*_

"Gah!" Marcus jumped. A huge cuckoo clock popped out of a cloud and set off. "Holy crap, where am I?"

_*tick tick tick tick tick*_

"It almost sounds like I'm in a bomb...," Marcus cautiously tried to keep his balance on the cloud. "One, two, three...," he started counting the ticking sounds. The higher up he counted, the more he started flinching. "Eleven...twelve...thirt-"

_*cuckoo cuckoo*_

"Gahhhh!" Marcus shrieked. The cuckoo clock popped up out of nowhere and startled Marcus again. He tried to punch the clock, but his hand went through the cloud. "What the heck?! These stupid clocks keep pissing me off and I can't even beat them up! What did I ever do to deserve this?!" Marcus fell on his knees and moaned. "I bet that stupid Kazu's having the time of his freakin' life right now too."

*_whirrrrr_*

"Huh, what's that?" Marcus clipped his digivice off his belt loop.

*_whirrrrr_* The digivice screen lit up and a red arrow was moving around in a circle. The arrow slowly stopped spinning and pointed in a single direction.

"Heh, maybe this thing's telling me to go that way," Marcus rubbed his chin. "Is that what you're trying to tell me?" he said to his digivice.

_*whirr whirr whirr* _The digivice simply kept whirring.

* * *

"Spinny spin spin spin!" Kazu chanted.

"Shouldn't you be in some big race?" Toucanmon raised an eyebrow.

"What's your point? Everyone knows I'm gonna win anyways," Kazu scoffed.

"Someone's a little confident," a Demidevimon muttered.

"Will you look at that? I win again!" Kazu laughed.

"I don't think that's exactly how it works...," a Bearmon said.

"Nope, that's exactly how it works. The house always wins, and I am the house!" Kazu slid a pile of poker chips toward himself.

"That's not fair! The ball didn't even land on a red!" a Pumpkinmon protested.

"Shut it before I mash you up and bake you in a pie," Kazu shot the Pumpkinmon a look.

"This is totally unfair," a Kotemon grumbled.

"Tell me about it. We thought this kid would be cool since he taught us a bunch of new games, but he just sucks," a Cutemon grumbled.

"_What the hell is going on here?!_"

"Merukimon!" all of the digimon shrieked and dropped their poker chips.

"Can someone explain to me what's going on?!" Merukimon growled. "There's digimon lighting garbage cans on fire and throwing them at windows! We've got digimon stealing candy from babies, and babies stealing money from strangers! There are Angemons stripping in the union square-"

"Oooh, where?" Neemon asked.

"Quiet you!" Bokomon elbowed Neemon.

"And gambling?!" Merukimon screamed. "This is supposed to be the Sacred City! You know this place is going downhill when we've got homeless digimon playing craps in front of the First Greek Orthodox Church! Who is responsible for this?!"

"It was all this guy!" all of the digimon pointed at Kazu.

"Thanks for selling me out guys. I truly appreciate it," Kazu crossed his arms.

"You...human," Merukimon picked Kazu up by his collar. "Just when I restored my faith in them, you take it all away again. You're really out to destroy the digital world, aren't you?

"What did I do?" Kazu stuttered.

"None of this happened until you showed up!" the Toucanmon said.

"I've only been here for an hour!" Kazu protested.

"You're even more dangerous than I thought! Dear citizens of Sacred City! What I am holding right here is a weapon of mass destruction!" Merukimon shook Kazu around.

"Ahhh! He's a bomb!" everyone screamed.

"No, he's worse! We must dispose of him immediately," Merukimon declared.

"How are we gonna do that?" A Kotemon asked.

"I'll show you! Come outside," Merukimon commanded.

"With pleasure!" all of the digimon said.

"Please don't dispose of me! I'm not recyclable!" Kazu cried.

"You're too trashy to be recycled! You're plain garbage! And do you know what we do with garbage?" Merukimon growled.

Leave it on the sidewalk for Tuesday?" Kazu guessed.

"No, you idiot!" Merukimon shook Kazu around. "Garbage collection is on Wednesday!"

"Let's incinerate him!" the Demidevimon chanted.

"Yeah!" the other digimon cheered.

"No, I have an even better idea...," Merukimon let out an evil chuckle.

"Oh boy," Kazu gulped.

* * *

"Not this place again," Kari sighed. She shuffled her feet in the gray sand and looked over the gray sea. There was a lighthouse that shone gray light around the beach, and there was a tunnel on a dirt wall.

"_Our queen is back!_"

"Who's there?" Kari frantically spun around.

"_Mimi!_"

"Mimi?"

"_Wait, are you Mimi?_"

"No...," Kari tensed up.

"_Then who the hell are you?_"

"First tell me who you are," Kari whimpered.

"_No_."

"Why not?" Kari quipped.

"_Because what if you're evil?_"

"I'm not evil, I promise!" Kari said.

"_Then prove it!_"

"How am I supposed to prove it?" Kari put her hands on her hips.

*_screeeech_*

"What's going on?" Kari hyperventilated.

"_Maybe you should check your digivice..._"

"Okay," Kari unclipped her D-Tector from her belt.

"Sing," the digivice said.

"You want me to sing?" Kari spoke into the digivice.

"You really shouldn't question me. I'm the voice inside your digivice; you should trust me," the D-Tector whirred and buzzed.

"Um, okay...? So I have to sing?" Kari raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, sing!"

"But why?"

"Just do what I say! I swear, the Legendary Warriors weren't as pesky as you, and that's saying a lot!"

"Just one more question. What should I sing?" Kari asked.

"It doesn't matter. Just sing something," the digivice barked.

"Alright, sheesh! Someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed," Kari muttered.

"I don't have a bed!"

"Well, there's the problem," Kari said.

"_Hello? We're waiting! Prove to us that you're not evil!_"

"Here goes...," Kari drew in a deep breath. "_Rika Rika boom boom, pretty in a pink dress, Rika Rika boom boom, let's share a hotel room, Rika Rika boom boom, We could do this all night, Rika Rika boom boom, We can kiss and undress, Rika Rika boom boom, just press play and resume, Rika Rika boom boom, My touch will make you feel right, Rika Rika, boom boom_...uh, I don't remember the rest, sorry."

"_You're not really convincing us..._"

"That was horrible. That's even worse than Bokomon and Neemon's fighting skills," the D-Tector said.

"_Are you sure you're not evil? Only evil people can sing that horribly!_"

"Wha-huh? That's not true! There are a lot of evil people who can sing beautifully!" Kari said.

"_Oh yeah? Who?_"

"Uh...Mariah Carey!" Kari shrugged.

"Wow, that's a good answer," the digivice sarcastically said.

"_Okay, we'll come out! Is everybody ready?_"

"_Yeah_." "_I guess so._" "_Fine_."

"Thank you!" Kari called out.

"Oh, it's just a normal, friendly-looking human!" a Gekomon sighed in relief. A bunch of other Gekomon and Otamamon trailed behind.

"_Gekomon: They really love music, even though they're too tone-deaf to know what good music really is. Otamamon: Sucks to be them, because they'll grow up to be tone-deaf frogs with French horns on their necks,_" the D-Tector said.

"What did you say?" the Gekomon fumed.

"It was my digivice," Kari pointed to the D-Tector.

"That doesn't look like a digivice to me! Mimi's digivice was a lot different," an Otamamon said.

"Hey, I know Mimi! She has pink hair, and she just loves pink," Kari said.

"You know her? Where is she?" the digimon excitedly looked around.

"Well, she's not with me at the moment, but I'm on my way to see her. You guys can tag along with me if you want," Kari said.

"Yay! We'll get to see Mimi again!" the Gekomon and Otamamon cheered.

"Now how do we get out of here?" Kari asked.

"If you listened to me, we would have been out of here a long time ago!"

"You know what? You're a mean digivice," Kari said.

"You'd be mean too if your spirit was stuck in a tiny handheld device because you got your ass beaten into a Digiegg! I was a Celestial Digimon for crying out loud!" the digivice blared.

"No wonder you're so bitter," Kari frowned and clipped the digivice back onto her belt.

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

*_crash_*

"Oh my god! What was that?!" the digimon freaked out.

"I don't know," Kari bit her nail.

"You have to help us out! We're defenseless!" a Gekomon grabbed Kari's arm.

"But how?" Kari stammered.

"Where's your digimon? Don't you have a digimon partner?" an Otamamon panicked.

"Well, that's kinda why I'm here. I'm in a competition to get my digimon partner back," Kari said.

"What did you do to make your digimon partner disappear?" a Gekomon gasped.

"_Woot woot! Hey you!_"

"Huh?" everyone turned around. Kazu raced toward them, flapping his arms in the air.

"Kazu?" Kari said.

"That's probably why her digimon left," an Otamamon subtly pointed its tail at Kazu.

"Her digimon's better off now," a Gekomon commented.

"What happened to your visor?" Kari asked.

"I have no idea," Kazu pouted. "It musta fallen out when they threw me out of the Sacred City."

"I'm just gonna pretend that what you said made sense," Kari slowly nodded. "So Gekomon, how do we get out of here?"

"Sorry, but we can't help you," the Gekomon crossed its arms.

"Why not?" Kari asked.

"We're not going to help you win the competition. We want Mimi to win," an Otamamon said.

"Mimi? That girl lost the competition a million years ago! She's not getting her digimon back," Kazu scoffed.

"Sorry, but we refuse to help you," the Gekomon turned their snouts up in the air.

"But I thought you wanted to see Mimi again. I am meeting up with her," Kari said.

"How do I know you're not tricking us to help you win?" a Gekomon gave Kari a suspicious look.

"Because Mimi already lost," Kari said.

"I don't care! We're still rooting for Mimi! Team Mimi!" the Gekomon raised its fist in the air.

"Team Mimi!" the other Gekomon and Otamamon cheered.

"Good luck!" a Gekomon blew Kari a raspberry and walked away with the rest of the digimon.

"Wow, are they seriously rooting for a loser? Those guys aren't that bright are they?" Kazu shook his head.

"This coming from an idiot."

"That's not very nice," Kazu whined.

"That was my digivice," Kari held her D-Tector out.

"Your digivice talks? That's not fair! Mine only blinks and beeps," Kazu chewed on the antennae of his digivice.

"How are we gonna get out of here now?" Kari rubbed her forehead.

"Go inside the tunnel," the digivice said.

"In that tunnel? That place looks creepy," Kazu grimaced.

"Don't worry. Nobody's even inside," the digivice said.

"Is this some sort of trap?" Kari asked.

"I wish. For the sake of this competition, I hope you get hurt really badly so I wouldn't have to deal with you anymore," the digivice said.

"Your digivice reminds me of my mom," Kazu pouted. "Why can't my digivice be like yours? Why?!" Kazu plopped down on the sand.

"Wanna ditch the kid?"

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea," Kari nodded.

"Then stop chit-chatting! Inside that tunnel is a train that should take us to Rail Town."

"Rail Town?" Kari repeated.

"Ew. Not that kind of rail. Seriously."

"It's dark in here. I can't see anything," Kari slowly walked inside the tunnel.

"That's why we have the elements. Light into darkness!" the digivice began to glow and a tiny funny-shaped pin dropped to the ground.

"There's the train!" Kari grinned.

"What are you waiting for? Get on!"

"_The Black Express Line will be leaving the Dark Terminal in...now!_"

"Huh, what?" Kari frantically looked around.

"Get on the train before it's too-"

*_choo choo_*

"Late..."

"Oh no!" Kari gasped.

"Hurry up! You're gonna miss the train!" Kazu happily waved from the outside of the cart.

"How'd you-uhhhh!" Kari huffed in frustration. She picked up her digivice and hopped down on the train tracks.

"You gotta be a little faster than that!" Kazu yelled.

"Shut up!" Kari snapped. The train came from out of the tunnel and connected to a cliff that was yards away.

"Whatever you do, don't look down."

"Ahhhh!" Kari looked down to see that she was right above a deep canyon.

"I told you not to look down," the digivice warned.

"You can't tell people not to do something! That's the first thing they're gonna do!" Kari tried to steady herself on the thin train track.

"Come on, Kari! If you hurry up, you can make it on the train!" Kazu encouraged.

"I just want to smash my fist in your face," Kari muttered.

"I would say the same thing, if I had any fists...but I'll do the next closest thing! Hold on tight!"

"Why?" Kari asked.

"Just do it!"

"Okay. I'm ready," Kari wrapped her arms tightly around the train track.

"Brace yourself," the digivice began to make a sharp sound. Another tiny pin fell out and it started to get windy.

"What the heck?!" Kari gripped on to the track.

"Whoaaaa!" Kazu yelled. The train was shakily swaying to the sides. "Someone help!"

"I'll help," the digivice said. A stronger gust of wind blew and the train fell off the track.

"Ahhhh! I'm gonna dieeeee!" Kazu yelled as the train plummeted into the canyon.

*_crash_*

"Thank you," Kari stood back up on the train track.

"Don't thank me yet. Watch out below you," the digivice said.

*_puff puff puff_*

"Ah! What is that?!" Kari almost lost her balance.

"Lava loogie!" a bunch of Candlemon inside the canyon spit balls of fire up at Kari.

"Crap! How am I supposed to make it across when there are candles spitting fire at me?" Kari cried.

"It burns!" Kazu screamed.

"Come on, Kar! Get going before they get tired of Kazu," the D-Tector said.

"Good idea," Kari nodded as she cautiously walked down the narrow plank.

*_pfft pfft pfft pfft_*

"Ahhh!" Kari dodged a fire ball in time.

"Blast off, girlie!" A Candlemon laughed and spit fire in Kari's direction.

"Ahhhh!" Kari shakily ran down the thin train track.

"Can someone help me? I'm burning up like a fever!" Kazu screamed.

"Let's help him out," the digivice dropped a blue pin and droplets of water fell down.

"Oh no! It's raining! Run for cover!" the Candlemon panicked.

"Ahhh! My first shower in weeks!" Kazu sighed peacefully.

"Ew," Kari made a face.

* * *

"Ew," Rika stood up and winced at the lavender castle in front of her. "Where the hell am I?"

"You're on Toy Island!" a Toy Agumon stood behind Rika.

"Ahhh!" Rika swiftly swung her arm back and hit the Toy Agumon.

"Ow! You hurt me," the Toy Agumon whimpered.

"Sorry, reflex," Rika rubbed her elbow.

"That's okay," the Toy Agumon winced.

"What's up with this place anyways? It looks like a playground on crack," Rika said in disgust.

"I don't know what crack is, but it is a playground! Well, it's more like a graveyard for toys. Kids don't play with toys anymore. They're too busy with their cell phones, video games, and computers. Even then, they throw away their electronics when a new model comes out," Toy Agumon sighed. "At least here, the forgotten toys have a place to stay."

"Yeah, I can see that," Rika made a face. There were trees that grew stuffed animals, a couple of mecha robots scattered around, plants in the shape of various candy, and a couple of amusement rides including a Ferris wheel, a swinging boat, and carousel.

"Did you ever play with toys?" the Toy Agumon asked.

"No," Rika coldly said.

"Not even board games?" Toy Agumon said.

"Does the Digimon card game count?" Rika walked around Toy Island.

"What's that?"

"Never mind," Rika shook her head.

"You were a kid once. You must have played with some type of toy when you were younger? A whoopie cushion?" Toy Agumon asked

"No. That's so juvenile," Rika snorted.

"A yo-yo?"

"No."

"Jump rope?"

"No."

"Come on. Have you at least slept with a stuffed animal?" Toy Agumon asked.

"..." Rika blankly stared into space.

"Are you okay?" Toy Agumon nudged Rika.

"Huh? What happened?" Rika jolted.

"Nothing. Wanna take a tour of Toy Island?"

"If I had the time...I probably would have said no anyways. I need to get out of here," Rika said.

"Don't worry! You'll get used to the bright colors soon. They are pretty overwhelming for a newcomer," Toy Agumon.

"You don't understand. I need to get out of this island. I'm in the middle of a race, and I can't stay here if I want to win," Rika said.

"Oh...," Toy Agumon's voice dropped.

"Oh?" Rika put her hands on her hips. "That doesn't sound good."

"Well, you see...there isn't really a way to get out of here," Toy Agumon sheepishly said.

"What?! Then how did I get here in the first place?" Rika yelled.

"I don't know. You fell down from the sky," Toy Agumon said.

"I fell from the sky?" Rika skeptically said.

"Yeah," Toy Agumon said.

"So there's no way out of here?" Rika raised an eyebrow.

"Basically, unless you want to jump out of here," Toy Agumon. "We used to have a toy plane, but we gave it to these three boys so they could leave. On the bright side, you can stay a little longer and have some cotton candy with me!"

"No! I'm jumping," Rika ran to the edge of the island.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Toy Agumon questioned.

"Why?" Rika crossed her arms.

"If you jump down, you won't know where you'll land, if you even land."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rika asked.

"Look down," Toy Agumon said.

"Oh...," Rika said. She couldn't see anything but sky and clouds.

*_BOOM_*

"Oh no! What happened?" Toy Agumon gasped.

"It's like an earthquake or something," Rika sat in a fetal position and placed her hands on her head. A couple of stuffed animals fell down from the trees and the seats on the Ferris wheel swung.

"_Where the hell am I?!_"

"That's Marcus," Rika ran back over to the middle of the island.

"Are you okay?" Toy Agumon asked.

"Whoa! A talking Lego dinosaur!" Marcus rubbed the back of his head. "Am I high?"

"Yeah. We're pretty high up in the sky," Toy Agumon.

"What are you doing here?" Rika asked.

"I just came to check out the toys. Why do you I'm here? I fell out of the damn sky!" Marcus yelled.

"I think I know what could make you feel better! I'll be right back," Toy Agumon ran towards a yellow building in the shape of a strawberry shortcake.

"What is this place?" Marcus sat up.

"It's Toy Island," Rika flatly said.

"We gotta get out of here," Marcus pounded the ground. "Whoa! This grass is sticky!" Marcus picked up his fist and licked it. "Yum, strawberry kiwi!"

"What?" Rika looked down at Marcus.

"The grass is made of candy!" Marcus ripped up some grass and ate it. "Try some."

"No thanks," Rika snorted.

"I'm back!" Toy Agumon came back with sticks of cotton candy. "Here," he handed Rika and Marcus some cotton candy.

"Thanks," Rika shot a dirty look at the cotton candy.

"Awesome!" Marcus took a big bite out of his cotton candy. "Hey, how come you never told me that you could eat this place?"

"It never came up in a conversation," Toy Agumon said.

"This place is scrumptious!" Marcus stuffed some more blades of grass in his mouth.

"I have to get out of here. I bet Kari and Kazu are really ahead of us by now," Rika groaned.

"Whoa whoa whoa! We can't let those dipwads win!" Marcus spit out his candy and abruptly stood up. "Lego dinosaur! Show us the way out!"

"There isn't really a way out of here," Toy Agumon said.

"What?!" Marcus yelled.

"I just finished explaining that to Rika," Toy Agumon.

"Aw come on!" Marcus kicked a tree.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it," Toy Agumon whimpered.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," Marcus took a deep breath. "We'll find a way."

"How?" Rika crossed her arms.

"I got this under control! The ultimate fighter never gives up!" Marcus stood up straight. "What's inside your backpack? There must be something useful in there."

"I doubt it," Rika held her backpack upside down and shook it empty. An empty water canteen, a packet of beef jerky, a German dictionary, a huge pair of pink sunglasses, a mockingjay pin, a pair of mismatched socks, an embarrassingly baby blanket with teddy bears on it, and a garbage bag fell out.

"Why'd you pack these things?" Marcus gave Rika a weird look.

"It's not mine. I jacked it from some dork," Rika shoved the things back into her bag.

"Wow," Marcus slid his hand across his forehead. "Hey, look! A sandbox! Do you think the sand's made out if brown sugar?"

"I don't know," Rika shrugged.

"Let's check it out!" Marcus dashed toward the sandbox, with Rika following him. "Dude! Beach toys!" Marcus picked up a yellow tractor.

"_Hey! Put me down!"_

"Ahhh! You talk!" Marcus threw the toy down.

"What are you guys doing?" Rika raised an eyebrow. There was a huge hole in the middle of the sandbox.

"We're making a metro system!" a red bulldozer said.

"We're hoping to connect Toy Island to Server Continent so that everyone can come here and have a good time!" a green steamroller said.

"We've finished building the train tracks, but we're not sure if it's safe to ride yet," a blue crane explained.

"The only problem is that Bob and Wendy went away on vacation," an orange concrete mixer sighed.

"Who's Bob and Wendy?" Marcus asked.

"They're the contractors. They have to inspect the tunnel before we open it to the public," the blue crane said.

"Hmmm," Marcus stuck his head inside the hole in the sandbox. "Looks like you've done a good job. We can always test it out for you!"

"Marcus! What are you doing?" Rika hissed.

"Look," Marcus whispered in her ear. "This tunnel might be the only chance we have to get out of here. Do you want the dumb slut or Kari to win?"

"Okay, I'm in," Rika nodded.

"Is everything okay?" the play tools asked.

"Nope, everything's fine!" Marcus gave them a thumbs up. "So how about it? We'll inspect the tunnel for you!"

"Are you sure?" the green steamroller said.

"Do you guys even know what you're doing?" the red bulldozer asked.

"Of course we do! We've got this under control! Why else would Rika be lugging around a knapsack? If it were full of stupid things, then she wouldn't be carrying it!" Marcus forced a smile.

"That makes sense," the tools said.

"Let's get going! Ready, Rika?" Marcus went down the hole.

"Yeah," Rika huffed.

"Here goes!" Marcus yelled. The tools inched closer to the tunnel and looked down. "Uh, this track is kinda wobbly..."

"Kinda? This thing's gonna break apart underneath us!" Rika yelled.

"Uh oh...," the tools backed away.

"Can we fix it?" the orange concrete mixer said.

"Uh, yeah...I think so," the blue crane frowned.

"For once, you're the most confident out of the rest of us," the yellow tractor said.

* * *

"Maybe if we keep walking down the tracks, they won't have a chance to fall off," Marcus hopped onto a a track tie.

"Ugh," Rika shook her head.

"I'm really getting tired of your attitude! At least I'm trying to come up with something! You're just rolling your eyes at everything I say. If you have better ideas, then say them now!" Marcus yelled.

"..."

"Then don't make a sound! I don't even wanna hear your eyes rolling!" Marcus ran down the path.

"..."

"Rika, are you okay? You usually say some smartass remark and call me a d-," Marcus trailed off and turned around. "Rika? Where'd ya go?"

*_crumble_*

"Gah! Gotta get moving!" Marcus shrieked. Marcus ran straight down the track as it kept breaking apart from underneath his feet. "What the hell is this? Some collapsing catwalk?!"

* * *

"Kari, time to get going before the moron beats us to the punch," the digivice quietly said. Kari sat up in all of the tin rubbish and scanned her surroundings.

"Uhhhh...," a moan came from underneath one of the destroyed train cars.

"Good, he's probably dead," Kari pushed herself up from the ground.

"Walk straight until you hit that wall. From there, turn to your right and keep walking in that direction until you see that river full of lava," the D-Tector said.

"Lava?" Kari tilted her head.

"Yeah, that red liquid stuff that'll burn you alive if you touch it."

"I know what lava is!" Kari yelled at her digivice. She followed the digivice's directions and stopped in front of the lava. "I'm here, now what?"

"Now you have to cross that river to get to the other side."

"How?" Kari bit her lip.

"By crossing the bridge. Duh," the D-Tector scoffed.

"There is no bridge!" Kari held her D-Tector up so that it faced the lava river.

"Oh...," the digivice trailed off.

"What am I gonna do?" Kari fell to her knees.

"It's just like that lava game we played as kids!"

"Kazu?!" Kari stood up on her feet. "I thought you were dead!"

"Me? Please, I'm indestructible!" Kazu let out an evil laugh. He stood up on a raggedy couch. Various pieces of furniture bobbed in the lava.

*_sploosh_*

"Ahhh!" Kazu shrieked. A bubble of lava exploded a couple of inches away from him.

*_sploosh_*

"Is there some other way we can get to the other side?" Kari whined to her D-Tector.

"Sorry, but if you wanna get out of this canyon, you're gonna have to cross that lava."

"Come on Kari! You can do it!" Kazu egged her on.

"I hate this," Kari muttered.

"Jump on that couch first! Just be careful because those sofas are bouncier than you think. Look what it did to my but-"

"I don't wanna see your butt!"

"I see how it is," Kazu frowned.

"That was my digivice," Kari said.

"I said it, but you thought it," the digivice said.

"Try not to touch the floor, cause then you'll get burned!" Kazu swung off a lamp and hopped onto a lopsided table.

"I won't," Kari unsteadily tried to balance herself on a melting bean bag chair.

* * *

*_crash_*

"Oomph!" Rika fell in the dirt.

"_What was that?_"

"_I don't know._"

"_Should we check it out?_"

"_After we get some cotton candy!_"

"Don't tell me I landed back into that stupid toy island," Rika grumbled as she rubbed her head.

"_Okay, I won't tell you._"

"Who said that?" Rika spun her head.

"_It's your digivice._"

"Huh?" Rika pulled her blue Digivice Burst out of her pocket.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen, and I'll be acting as your guide," a brunette girl showed up on the tiny screen.

"You could have done that like...a million hours ago!" Rika yelled.

"Sorry, I was too busy bitch-slapping my selfish mom. You'd think she'd actually step up to the plate, get her stupid ass out of bed and stop feeling sorry for her-"

"I don't really want to know about your family problems," Rika rudely interrupted. "If you're my guide, then guide me!"

"Wow, someone's being a total District One-er," Katniss said. "If I'm not mistaken, I'd say you're at the Capitol right now."

"What the hell...?" Rika made a face.

"It's too colorful to be District One, and forget about District Two-"

"Pretend I never asked. This is just an amusement park," Rika huffed. "In fact, this might be the same place we had to do all of those carnival games in."

"_That's because it is._"

"Joe?" Rika walked over to the ticket booth.

"I think I finally found my purpose in life. All this time, I thought I was meant to be a doctor, but boy! If I knew then what I knew now, I wouldn't have ordered that Fisher-Price kit. For such pediatricians, they sure like to charge big people prices," Joe rambled.

"Whatever. All I want to know is how to get out of here," Rika said.

"I can't tell you that. There's the information booth on the other side though. They might be able to help you out," Joe pushed up his glasses.

"Unbelie-"

*_rumble_*

"Rika? Are you okay?" Joe asked.

"I'm fine," Rika hunched over and held her stomach. "I can hold it in."

*_rumble_*

"Are you sure?" Katniss spoke through the digivice.

"I'm fi-Joe! Where's the closest bathroom?" Rika grunted.

"Sorry, I don't know. The information booth might be able to help you out," Joe said.

"If the information booth has all of the answers, then what the hell do you do in your booth?" Katniss asked.

"I rip tickets!" Joe said with pride.

"He's the best ticket-ripper around!" Gotsumon poked his head out from the ticket window.

"Look, we gotta get going," Rika cringed. "Like ASAP."

"What's the rush?" Joe asked.

"I have a race to win," Rika spoke through her teeth.

"Yeah, a race to the bathroom," Katniss smirked.

"Shut uh-"

*_pfffftttf_*

"Oh crap...," Rika groaned.

"Oh crap is right," Katniss let out a little laugh.

"Did she seriously shart herself?" the Gostumon asked Joe.

* * *

"Holy crap! Gotta give those tinker toys props," Marcus tried to catch his breath. The train tracks had successfully connected to a train terminal, but they were no more. "HEY! IS ANYONE HERE?"

*_whoosh_*

"This is kinda creepy," Marcus grimaced. There were a bunch of train tracks that randomly connected to one another and the station grew dark and foggy.

"_It is pretty creepy, right?_" a high-pitched, gritty voice said.

*_snap_*

"_Owwies_!"

"_Quiet, you! How are we supposed to know when the next train will get here when you're making a commotion?_" a pretentious voice spoke.

"_But aren't you making a lot of noise too?_"

*_snap_*

"_Eeep!_"

"Okay! Who's there? Come out now or get ready to get front-row tickets to my gun show!" Marcus clenched his fists.

"Oooh, that sounds nice! I like front-row seats!" Neemon dashed over to Marcus.

"Come back, you nincompoop!" Bokomon tried to hold on to Neemon's waistband.

"Who the hell are you guys and why are you hiding in the dark like creeps?!" Marcus clenched his fists.

"Ah, Marcus Damon...," Bokomon rubbed his chin.

"Hey! How do you know my name?" Marcus yelled.

"Because we read Cookie Jar! Well, Bokomon reads it. I just look at the pictures," Neemon explained.

"What the hell is Cookie Jar?" Marcus asked.

"It's the mini-magazine that comes inside the Sunday edition of the Digital Chronicles," Bokomon dug in his pants and pulled out a glossy magazine.

"So it's like Parade?" Marcus scratched his head.

"I like parades!" Neemon blurted.

"The Cookie Jar's like the dessert to the substance we call world politics," Bokomon said. "The Cookie Jar is full of nothing but useless information that don't place any importance on our world history, but everybody just loves it!"

"And you guys have been taking up most of the magazine for the past several months!" Neemon squealed. "I'm going to be so sad when the show is over. You guys are the most interesting people ever."

"Thanks... I guess," Marcus shrugged.

"Oooh! I hear that it's down to four people now!" Neemon clapped his hands.

"It's unfortunate that Zoe lost the last challenge," Bokomon said.

"It was that bitch's fault!" Neemon yelled. "She unplugged Zoe's cart!"

"Oh, stop! It's not like she did it on purpose! Anyone could accidentally trip on a plug," Bokomon said.

"Didn't you see the show? Kari purposely unplugged Zoe's cart!" Neemon said.

"What are you going to say next? That Takuya was gleefully throwing cinderblocks at the dirt track too?" Bokomon scoffed.

"That's because the son-of-a-bitch did," Marcus crossed his arms.

"Ha!" Neemon poked Bokomon in the stomach.

"Be quiet, you!" Bokomon snapped Neemon's waistband.

"Owww!" Neemon whined. "What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be filming the next episode soon?"

"Hold on," Bokomon flipped through the magazine. "They are supposed to film the last episode right now!"

"Yeah. I could have told you that," Marcus snorted.

"According to this article, it says that the final four contestants are supposed to race back to File Island," Bokomon said.

"Yep," Marcus nodded. "And I was trying to look for my way out of this train station, but I can't see anything past three feet away from me."

"We know the way out!" Neemon grinned.

"You do?" Marcus asked. "Then why are you guys hanging around here?"

"We're waiting for the train to Toy Island!" Neemon said.

"I've been trying to tell him that there's no such thing. The train to Toy Island is nothing more than a rumor," Bokomon said in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah. Rumor," Marcus talked through the side of his mouth.

"We'll show you the way out," Bokomon said.

"Thanks," Marcus said.

"Just autograph our magazine first!" Neemon thrust the magazine at Marcus.

"Sure. Do you guys have a pen?" Marcus held up the magazine.

"No," Bokomon said.

"Then I can't sign your little book," Marcus sighed.

"Now that's a problem," Neemon scrunched up his face. "If you're gonna go back on your word, then we're gonna go back on ours! We're not helping you get out of here until you autograph our magazine!"

"But I don't have a pen! If I did, I'd sign your book in a heartbeat!" Marcus yelled.

"Stop annoying Marcus!" Bokomon grabbed on to Neemon's waistband and pulled it. "Besides, if this show's filming right now, that means we're on TV!"

"We're on TV?" Neemon grinned.

"Most likely," Marcus said.

"Cool! Hi Mom!" Neemon frantically waved.

"You dummkopf! You don't have a mom!" Bokomon said.

"Does that mean I have two daddies?" Neemon asked.

"We're digimon! Digimon do not have parents! Do you even know how digimon are made?" Bokomon yelled.

"Oh Jesus," Marcus sighed.

* * *

*_beep beep_*

"This thing's getting really annoying," Kazu huffed. He placed his hand on a tiny rock above him and shifted his weight around. Kari was still trying to cross the lava river.

*_beep beep beep_*

"Ugh," Kazu pulled his digivice out of his pocket. "How are you supposed to get me back to File Island when you're just a fancy and annoying baby monitor?" he scoffed and tossed the digivice over his shoulder.

"Owww!" Kari shrieked and accidentally dropped her digivice on the couch.

"Sorry!" Kazu called.

*_blub blub_* the lava began to bubble and all of the furniture frantically bobbed in the river.

"My digivice!" Kari shrieked. Her D-Tector tumbled down the worn-out couch and into the lava.

"Ahhhh! Feels like New Mexico," the D-Tector sighed.

"No! I need you!" Kari tried to reach for it, but the digivice boiled and melted into plastic.

"Didn't your mom ever tell you to not touch hot things?" the digivice scolded.

"But I need you!" Kari stretched her hand closer to the lava.

"No you don't. Goodbye, Kari," the D-Tector said before it sunk into the boiling lava.

"You idiot!" Kari yelled at Kazu.

"What did I do?" Kazu stopped climbing and turned to face her.

"All you ever do is mess things up for everyone else! Why can't you just disappear? Nobody even likes you! Not even Kenta!" Kari shouted.

"Uh...," Kazu frowned.

*_rumble_*

"That's not good," Kazu winced.

"Well, it's called reality! Do us all a favor and get out of our lives!" Kari cried.

"Okay, but you're asking for it," Kazu grunted.

"Then do it already!" Kari yelled.

"You don't understand...," Kazu bit his lip.

"I don't care!"

"No, seriously...," Kazu tightly gripped on to the rocks.

*_Pffffft_!*

"Ahhhh!" Kari jumped back. "Did you just shart?!"

*_rumble_*

"Possibly...," Kazu grunted and pushed himself up until he made it up the wall.

"Oh God," Kari gasped.

*_pfffft_*

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary with Lily and Gennai!_

"Hahahahahahaha!" Gennai cackled. "What's up with everyone sharting all over the place?"

"It's a good thing we only ate Lucky Charms and granola bars. I knew there was something suspicious about that food," Lily said.

"Wait, so you had a feeling that there was something wrong with the food and you still fed it to everyone?" Matt asked.

"We weren't gonna let all of that food go to waste," Lily shrugged.

"Yeah, just let the kids convert the food to waste themselves," Thomas shook his head.

"What are you complaining about? Don't you find it satisfying to see these finalists suffer? After all, you lost to these guys," Gennai said.

"Yeah, it is pretty fun to watch," Ken smirked.

"Oh no! It's my fault my babies are getting sick!" Mrs. Kamiya cried.

"It's okay, Mrs. Kamiya. Sometimes, that happens when a novice chef doesn't know all of the basics of food safety," Tommy patted her on the back. "So I'll share with you some of my tips on how to safely handle food!"

* * *

_Food Preparation Tips With Tommy Himi!_

"Hey guys! My name is Tommy!" Tommy perkily smiled at the camera.

"We already know what your name is!" Takuya heckled.

"Well...I just thought I should let people know, just in case," Tommy looked down at his feet.

"Way to go! Now you made him upset!" Zoe smacked Takuya on the back of his head.

"Owww!" Takuya whined.

"Um...," Tommy awkwardly placed a chef's hat on his head and stared at the audience.

"Go ahead, Tommy!" Zoe nodded.

"Okay," Tommy said. "Disinfecting is the most important step when it comes to food preparation safety. Before you start, make sure you disinfect all of the surfaces. I like to use disinfecting wipes because they make the cleaning process easier and faster. After that, make sure wash your hands with antibacterial soap in warm water for 20 seconds. That's about the same time it takes for you to sing the chorus to Thrift Shop," he walked over to the sink and scrubbed his hands clean.

"Aww, isn't he so cute?" Mimi squealed.

"When you're done with that, take out the food you're going to cook with. Remember to wash fruits and veggies before you use them. You don't want to rinse meat, eggs, fish or poultry, because you might end up splashing bad bacteria all over the place," Tommy said. "Now that all of your food is ready to go, let's talk about cross-contamination. You don't want to use the same kitchen supplies for meats that you prepare produce with. To make it easy, I color coded all of my stuff!" Tommy held up a couple of cutting boards. "The green one for fruits and veggies, the red one for meats, and the blue one for fish."

"Using primary colors much?" Koji muttered.

"I even have color coded utensils!" Tommy held up random cooking items. "After you use everything, wash it before you use them again. Basically, you want to separate the raw foods from the fruits and veggies!"

* * *

"Hmm, remember to disinfect surfaces, wash hands..leave to remember that," Mrs. Kamiya scribbled on a notepad.

"What?" Gennai mouthed to Lily.

"That's why I never eat her food," Lily said to Gennai in sign language.

"What?" Gennai mouthed.

"Never mind," Lily signed. "Okay!" she spoke in a normal voice again. "Seems like our contestants have some digestive problems. Let's see how Marcus is holding up!"

* * *

"Just a couple more miles and we'll be at the sea port," Bokomon looked at an atlas.

"Thanks for the help guys," Marcus said.

"Are we there yet?" Bokomon whined.

"Do you see any loading docks, you twit?!" Bokomon huffed.

"No, but I see you and Marcus and sand and my feet and-,"

"Uhhhhh!" Bokomon dragged his paws down his face.

"Hmmmm," Marcus silently groaned, trying to hide his frustration. "So between the four of us, which one do you want to win?"

"Not Kari! She made Zoe lose!" Neemon blurted.

"Sounds like you really wanted Zoe to win," Marcus said.

"Why yes. Zoe, Koji, Kouichi, Takuya, Tommy, and JP were like my students. I know, I mentored some socially incompetent children, but it was worth it to me. I had really high hopes for Zoe, but sometimes there are unfortunate events you can't prevent from happening," Bokomon said.

"She was RIGGED!" Neemon squeaked.

"Yeah, I thought Zoe would have made it to at least the Top Four," Marcus said. "So, is there anyone you're rooting for now?"

"I have my money on you! If I didn't want you to win, I wouldn't be helping you out, would I?" Bokomon said.

"That makes sense," Marcus nodded.

"I like Kazu. I think he's cool," Neemon said.

"Yes, Neemon is as moronic as you think," Bokomon sighed. "Oh, look. We're finally...here."

"Oh, shi-"

_**To be continued...**_


	31. Teaser

_**TDI Sports Commentary with Lily and Gennai: Slumber Party (Let's Go Crazy Crazy Crazy Till We See The Sun) Edition!**_

"Hey guys, Lily here! Welcome to a special TDI Sports Commentary! As you can see, we're having an awesome slumber party with our former contestants, minus Joe. He couldn't make it, something about finding his true destiny of...I stopped paying attention halfway through his speech. Anyways, since we're gonna have 24/7 coverage of the competition, I thought it would be cool if our former contestants joined along on the fun!" Lily squeezed a huge teddy bear.

"I don't really want to be here," Koji groaned.

"Shut up! You're gonna have a good time and you're gonna like it!" Lily threw the teddy bear at Koji's head.

"Ughhh...," Koji took in a deep breath.

"Look, I brought a bunch of games, so we'll never get bored!" Lily dumped a bunch of board games on the floor. "I've got Bop-It, Clue, Monopoly, Twister, Just Dance, Don't Wake Daddy, Candy Land, Apples to Apples-oooh, we can play poker or charades, or Truth and Dare, oh! Hot Potato!" she picked up a beeping Magic 8 Ball. "Oh, and we can listen to One Direction, Big Time Rush, N*Sync, and stuff like that too, just like at a real slumber party!"

"That sounds like fun...," Yoshi gently placed her hand on Lily's shoulder.

* * *

_Camera Confessions..._

"Is it me, or does anyone else get the feeling that Lily didn't go to a lot of slumber parties growing up?" Yoshi shot a concerned look toward the camera.

* * *

"I'm so excited! This is the best slumber party ever! Well, this is my first official slumber party, but that doesn't matter. You see, no one ever came to any of my slumber parties because they thought I was weird, a mean bitch, or a combination of the two. Let's just say I wasn't the most popular girl in school," Lily rubbed her neck.

* * *

"And to make sure we have super fun, we're gonna have lots of pizza and chips and brownies and ice cream and candy!" Lily jumped up and down on a bean bag chair.

"Did Mrs. Kamiya make any of the food?" Tommy asked.

"Hell no! I don't wanna get any of you guys food poisoning!" Lily scoffed.

"You don't?" Ryo asked.

"You can't have the best party ever if everyone's bound to shart themselves at any given moment, and I will not have any sharting going on in my slumber party!" Lily said.

"That makes sense, I guess...," Cody bit his lip.

"Now let's kick off the party with a little game called Blind Man's Bluff!" Lily held up a blindfold.

"Yay!" Kenta cheeered.

"Yay?" Jeri nervously clapped her hands.

"Koooojiiiiii," Lily had an evil smile on her face. "I choose you to be the blind man!"

"No thanks. I don't want to play stupid games," Koji rolled his eyes.

"Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you...," Takuya licked his finger and stuck it in Koji's ear.

"What the hell man?!" Koji jumped up and punched Takuya in the head.

"Quick question," Ryo asked.

"What?" Koji and Takuya froze in place.

"How did you manage to save the digital world when your superhero group was made up of a dumbass, a jackass, a fatass who happens to be a pervert-"

"I am not a pervert!" JP yelled.

"Nobody called you a fatass. Do you really think of yourself that way?" Matt smirked.

"Gah! Dammit!" JP frowned.

"Oooh! Oooh! I got a joke!" Tai waved his hands in the air.

"What?" everyone asked.

"So a dumbass, a jackass, a fatass, a crybaby, and a mute save the digital world...," Tai paused.

"And...?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"That's the joke!" Tai cracked up.

"Oh man, that's priceless!" Gennai wiped a tear from his eyes.

"In all seriousness, how _did_ you Frontier kids get anything done?" Ken asked.

"Easy. We also had a pushy bitch in our group," Koji smirked.

"Hey!" Zoe growled.

"I was talking about Bokomon, but come to think of it...," Koji rubbed his chin.

"You jerk!" Zoe jumped on him.

"It's okay. I like it rough," Koji smirked.

"Ugh," Zoe jumped off of Koji. "Look, you guys don't have any room to talk!" Zoe crossed her arms.

"Oh yeah?" Tai flashed Zoe a cocky smile.

"At least we saved the digital world by ourselves. You Adventure guys think you're all that, but you didn't do anything but let your digimon do all of the fighting!" Zoe clenched her fists. "And your digivolution music sucked!"

"Yeah!" Kenta and Tommy said.

"So did the Tamers!" Tai protested.

"Nuh uh! Our music was way more badass than your gay ass soundtrack," Ryo said.

"And we could matrix digivolve," Takato said.

"Whatever! At least we could...uh," Tai tapped his chin.

"We had crests!" Mimi pitched in.

"And what happened when you lost those crests?" Zoe put her hands on her hips.

"We passed on the work to the younger kids," Matt shrugged.

"It was the right thing to do," Tai put his hand to his chest and nodded his head. "What do you have to say about that, Zoe?"

"Nothing...except that you're lazy. You must be the worst leader ever," Zoe turned her nose up in the air.

"Oh yeah? How am I the worst leader when you guys had Takuya?" Tai smirked.

"To be fair, I think you and Takuya are on the same level," Koji said.

"You should be honored! Not everyone can be on the same level as us," Takuya winked at Tai.

"Oh god," Tai tugged at the collar of his t-shirt. "Well...Davis wasn't that great of a leader either!"

"What?" Davis gasped.

"Technically, you basically appointed him to leader so that makes you a bad leader for choosing another bad leader to take your place," Sora rubbed Tai's arm.

"Yeah, Tai! It would have made more sense to pick someone who already had experience with the digital world *_cough cough_* TK *_cough cough_*," Matt said.

"Was I really a bad leader?" Davis pouted.

"Of course not. You're awesome!" TK said.

"Matt, you seriously need to get over that! Even TK's not as upset as you are about the fact that I didn't give my goggles to him. Besides, TK's the guy who wears stupid hats. Every crime-fighting team needs a guy with a stupid hat!" Tai scoffed.

"That is completely absurd!" Thomas said.

"Whatever, you guys shouldn't even have been considered a Digimon team anyways!" Tai stuck his tongue out at Thomas.

"For one thing, Marcus technically isn't a leader because he doesn't wear goggles," Takuya snapped the band of his goggles.

"If Rika was here, she would probably say that Marcus is more of a leader than the rest of us _because_ he isn't a gogglehead," Takato said.

"Well...you guys look way different from the rest of us," Mimi said.

"You can't judge someone as less than you because of the way we look!" Yoshi gasped.

"Uh...we're better than you because you DATS guys are OLD! *_cough cough_* Yoshi *_cough_*," Kenta said.

"Dude," Ryo shook his head in disapproval. "Just stay out of this."

"I think we're going to side with the Frontiers on this. You Adventurers have such pompous attitudes," Thomas said.

"You're pompous!" Tai shot back. "You're all just jealous because we saved the Digital World first!"

"And that turned out well," Henry rolled his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Matt yelled.

"You guys are the reason why we had rampant digimon running around the real world. When digimon can freely go back and forth between both worlds, there's always bound to be some evil digimon that will take advantage of that," Henry said.

"Yeah, so don't get too cocky. We had to clean up your messes, you digi-eggheads," Ryo crossed his arms behind his head. "And I don't want to get started on the D-Reaper."

"At least our leader wasn't a crybaby baker's boy!" Tai said.

"I hope you're not talking about me!" Takato's face began to fluster.

"What are you gonna do? Cry about it?" Tai stuck his tongue out.

"Tai, you don't have much room to talk. You cried when you almost killed Kari, you cried when you almost killed Greymon, you cried when you almost killed us-" Izzy tapped away at a Blackberry.

"SHUSH!" Tai growled.

"I hate to say this, but even Matt was less of a crybaby as you, and he wasn't exactly the toughest guy around," Izzy said.

"Hey!" Matt abruptly stood up. "Wanna make something out of this, ya ginger midget?!"

"Matt! There's no name calling here! Just for calling me that, you're on time-out! Go sit at the corner!" Lily commanded.

"I was calling Izzy the ginger midget," Matt muttered as he walked to the back corner.

"Now what's with all of this fighting going on?! There is no fighting in my party! We're supposed to have fun, dammit!" Lily yelled.

"Yeah, we're having such a blast," Gennai said in monotone.

"I'm gonna get the pizza, and when I come back, everyone better have fun!" Lily yelled.

"Okay," everyone said. When they saw Lily leave the room, everyone went back to talking.

"Frontier is the lowest of the low," Tai muttered.

"What did you say?!" Zoe yelled.

"Ya heard me! Frontier is the lowest of the low. None of you guys are in the final four, are you?" Tai smirked.

"That's because Adventure kids are cheaters!" Zoe yelled.

"Yeah!" Takuya put his hands on his hips.

"Whatever! Someone's just jealous because the Adventurers are the best!" Davis said.

"If you really are the best, then explain why we have two Tamers contestants in the finals," Henry said.

"Because uh, because...," Tai scratched his head.

"At least we're not as bad as Frontier. It's pretty bad when even the Data Squad did better than them," Matt smirked.

"HEY!" the Frontier kids and Data Squad yelled.

"I have complete faith that Marcus is going to win the competition," Thomas said.

"For such a small group, we accomplished a lot on our adventures," Yoshi said.

"How many Adventure kids does it take to save-well, sort of save the world?" Koji muttered.

"Twelve, and they still screwed up!" Kenta laughed like a madman.

"Whatever," Matt rolled his eyes.

"Whatever is a word losers use when they know they're wrong," Tommy said.

"Shut up! Like you know the correct definitions of words. You're going around calling people sluts all of the time," Matt said.

"What's wrong about that? Don't you feel good when someone calls you a slut?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah. I love it...," Yolei grinned.

"Tommy. Let me tell you what slut really means," Tai motioned Tommy over.

"No!" Takuya pulled Tommy back. "I will not have you corrupting the minds of young children!"

"Yeah, because that's your job," Koji smirked.

"Hey, are you on our side or not?" Takuya yelled.

"I'm not on anyone's side," Koji shook his head and walked toward the snack table.

"Oh my god...I just realized something," Takuya let go of Tommy.

"What?" everyone asked.

"Where's Joe? He's not here," Takuya looked around the room.

"That's completely insane! He's right-" Izzy pointed to an empty space.

"Where is Joe?" Sora asked.

"He's probably hiding somewhere," Tommy suggested.

"Were we playing hide-and-seek?" Takato asked.

"I don't remember," Jeri shrugged.

"We're sooo gonna lose! We have to find Joe!" Mimi whined.

"I'll look under the table!" JP said.

"We'll check in the fridge!" Davis and TK said.

"I guess we can always look under the sleeping bags," Henry shrugged. Everyone scattered around the loft, trying to look for Joe. Thomas and Yoshi were the only ones standing in the middle of the room.

"I didn't play many games as a child, but isn't hide-and-seek where one person looks for everyone else, not the other way around?" Thomas asked.

"Yes. Yes it is," Yoshi sighed.


	32. The Final Wipeout (Part 3)

**The Final Wipeout (Part 3)**

"Ah, yes! The Fortuneteller Village, also known as the gambling destination in the Digital World. You have to be careful here. Like all gambling centers, this place is full of scam artists," Katniss said.

"Are you sure? They sure don't look like the smartest of the bunch," Rika said.

"These digimon are more cunning than you can imagine. Just try not to draw attention to yourself," Katniss said.

"Hah! That would be easy to do if your pants weren't covered in crap!" Rika yelled.

"Oh my god, look at her...," a couple of digimon slowly walked past her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Get a move on! There's nothing to see here!" Rika yelled at them.

"Ahhh!" the digimon ran away.

"If I'm correct, there should be an invisibility cloak in your bag," Katniss said.

"Really? Because the last time I checked my backpack, it was full of useless shit!" Rika yelled. She hid behind a funhouse and angrily rummaged through her backpack.

"Geez, calm your pants!" Katniss blurted. "Oh, wait..."

"Every time I look through this bag, I only get madder!" Rika pulled out a fuzzy, baby blanket. "Please don't tell me this is the invisibility cloak. What the hell am I gonna do with a stupid baby blanket?!"

"Well, that's the invisibility cloak," Katniss said.

"You're joking, right?" Rika held up the blanket. "If it's an invisibility cloak, then why isn't it invisible?"

"Because it only turns invisible when you put it on your body," Katniss said.

"Hah, sure!" Rika scoffed.

"If you don't believe me, then test it out," Katniss said.

"Maybe I will!" Rika wrapped herself in the blanket. "Oh my g-"

"Cool, huh?" Katniss smirked.

"This thing is awesome!"

"Don't get too ecstatic. Don't let your guard down because these invisibility cloaks wear off after a while," Katniss warned.

"Look, I need your help. I really want to win a bet," a Tentomon said to a Vademon.

"Let me guess...," the Vademon rubbed his brain-head with his hand. "You're watching that reality TV show...Total Drama-"

"Yes! How did you know?" the Tentomon gasped.

"A psychic has his ways," the Vademon raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, you're good!" the Tentomon said. "Can you tell me who's gonna win?"

"I think I can share my prediction for a small price," the Vademon flashed an evil grin. "600 digidollars please."

"Uh...I only have 700. Is that fine?" the Tentomon asked.

"That bug can't seriously be that stupid," Rika whispered to her digivice.

"Thank you," the Vademon took the money and sniffed it.

"So who's going to win?" the Tentomon eagerly asked.

"Ommmm...," the Vademon sat Indian-style and hovered over the ground. "Ommmm...ah! The winner has hair...hair that grows on the head."

"Tell me more!" the Tentomon buzzed.

"Okay, this is stupid," Rika scoffed and walked away.

"Yes! The winner is blond!" a Wizardmon said.

"But none of the contestants are blond!" a Calumon frowned.

"It's not something you see on the outside. There's a symbolic meaning to it," the Wizardmon said.

"Wow...," the Calumon said in awe.

"No, you're completely wrong! The winner will be someone with great endurance," a Shamanmon said ominously.

"If this guy's right, then that probably means Kazu would win. I think he's a little too used to getting beaten up," Rika stuck out her tongue.

"I feel a presence, a presence out of this world," the Shamanmon said.

"Oh my gosh!" all of the digimon crowed up and surrounded him. "Where?"

"Right here," the Shamanmon closed his eyes and pointed straight at Rika.

"This is creepy...it's like he can see right through me," Rika whispered.

"You are wearing the invisibility cloak," Katniss said.

"That's not what I meant," Rika grunted.

"Shamanmon, you're crazy. We don't see anything," a Betamon frowned.

"No, I can see it. A girl," the Shamanmon rubbed his temple.

"Katniss...what the hell? I thought nobody could see me," Rika whispered.

"He's just bluffing. The invisibility cloak shouldn't wear off that quickly...," Katniss sheepishly trailed off.

"What?!" Rika hissed.

"Yell at me later. The most important thing right now is to get you some pants before the cloak completely dissolves," Katniss said.

"Where can I get some? All I see are a bunch of phonies," Rika pressed her lips together.

"Maybe over there, in the booth between the blue and purple tents. There's a Puppetmon," Katniss suggested.

"So...," Rika raised an eyebrow.

"Puppetmon are known throughout the Digital World for their doll-making. They make dolls of all sizes, from tiny ones to life-sized. Chances are that he's made some clothes for the dolls and put them aside," Katniss said.

"Doesn't hurt to check," Rika dashed over to the Puppetmon's booth. There was a big cardboard box full of clothes in the back corner of the booth.

"I've got a bunch of dolls that could pose as your best friend, a brother, sister...," a Puppetmon raised his eyebrows at a Gomamon.

"I just want a doll that I can play with," the Gomamon said.

"I've got plenty of those too, but only the inflatable ones," the Puppetmon pointed at a blow-up doll.

"Yuck, is this guy for real?" Rika stopped rummaging through the box and grimaced.

"Puppetmon are also known for pretending their dolls are friends, family members, or lovers because they're not exactly the most pleasant digimon," Katniss said.

"Look, you freak! What you do with your dolls is none of my business. I'm out of here," the Gomamon walked off.

"No! Come back!" the Puppetmon whined.

"These are the only ones I found," Rika held up a pair of overall shorts.

"Better that than nothing at all," Katniss said.

"Hey!"

"I think the invisibility cloak wore off...," Katniss said.

"This is great," Rika shoved the pants into her backpack and dashed out of the booth.

"Hey! Give me my doll clothes back!" the Puppetmon angrily advanced toward Rika.

"Watch it! I'm not afraid to punch you into sawdust!" Rika threatened.

"Don't make me have to use this!" the Puppetmon pulled a huge hammer from out of his back.

"Time to run...," Katniss said.

"Good idea. I don't have time to waste on this leftover wood," Rika dashed off.

"Come back here!" the Puppetmon growled.

"Rika! Watch out!" Katniss yelled.

_*kablump*_ A bunch of barrels fell off a slope and rolled in Rika's direction.

"Whoa!" Rika tripped on one of the barrels.

"I got you now!" the Puppetmon quickly advanced toward Rika.

"Oh no you don't!" Rika sprung up and kept running.

"Barrel ahead!" Katniss warned.

"Whoa!" Rika swiftly jumped over the barrel and continued running forward.

_*kadoomp kadoomp kablump*_

"Are you kidding me?!" Rika yelled. More barrels kept tumbling in her direction.

"You're not gonna get away with this, you...shoplifter!" the Puppetmon growled.

"Barrel," Katniss said.

"Got it," Rika jumped over the barrel just in time.

"Once I get you, I'll make sure you go straight to jail!" the Puppetmon yelled.

"Because I'm sooooo scared!" Rika rolled her eyes.

"I really don't like how difficult you're being with me!" the Puppetmon frowned.

"HEY EVERYONE! THERE'S A SPECIAL SALE ON DOLLS AT PUPPETMON'S BOOTH! EVERYTHING IS 100% OFF, SO GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!" Katniss yelled.

"Hey, let's check that out!" a Chuumon said.

"That sounds awesome! 100% off! That's almost free!" a Sukamon grinned.

"Did you hear that?" a Fridgemon asked.

"Me want!" a pint-sized human-looking digimon grunted.

"Heard that Puppetmon has a nice sale going on!" a Calumon giggled.

"So if everything is 100% off, does that mean it's okay to just go and take it?" a BanchoLeomon chewed on a twig of parsley.

"It's 100% off, I don't see anything wrong with that," an Ogremon shrugged.

"You brat! I'll get you for this!" the Puppetmon shook his fist at Rika. "Hold up, everyone! There is no sale!" the Puppetmon chased after the other digimon.

"Pretty smart, huh?" Katniss winked.

"You can think quick on your feet," Rika said. "I like you now."

"Uh...thanks?" Katniss smiled nervously.

* * *

"_I'm on the road again...cause I'm all alone, there's no one here beside meee! My problems have all goooone, there's no one here to deriiiiiide meeee! But you gotta have friends!_" Kazu sang. He was walking around what seemed to be an underground labyrinth of furnaces. "Man, I wish I was with my friends right now. Walking around by myself is boooo-ring!"

"_HEY! IS ANYONE HERE?_"

"That sounds like Marcus!" Kazu squealed. "I finally have a friend to walk with! Marcus! Where are you?"

"_Okay! Who's there? Come out now or get ready to get front-row tickets to my gun show!_"

"It's me, Kazu!" Kazu yelled at the top of his lungs. "Wait for meeee! Marcus...? Marcus?"

_*plap plap plap plap plap*_

"Ahhhhh!" Kazu fell back. A bunch of paintballs went flying toward him.

"Get him, boys!" said a petite, blonde girl in a Lolita outfit.

"Nanami...you don't have to tell me twice," a lean blond guy said.

"I only told you once, Kouki!" the girl snapped.

"Wow, Nanami's being a super bitch...but I would never say that out loud," a big, buff, blond guy said.

"You did say that out loud," the lean blond guy said.

"Why do I have to be stuck with you idiots?!" the girl shrieked. "Do I have to do everything around here?"

_*plap plap plap*_

"Ahhhh! What did I ever do to you?!" Kazu tried to run away from the paintballs.

"We love shooting people for our entertainment...but I wouldn't say that out loud," the buff guy stupid grinned.

"Dammit, Ivan! What did I tell you about keeping your thoughts to yourself?!" Kouki huffed.

"That I should keep my thoughts to myself," the buff guy sighed.

"How about you guys don't shoot me and we'll go on our merry ways?" Kazu quietly walked backwards.

_*plat*_

"Not so fast!" Kouki growled. "We heard you screaming for Marcus. Where is he?"

"I don't know. That's what I was trying to find out, but you mean jerks hit me with paintballs. Why? What's it to you?" Kazu crossed his arms.

"Finally, we can get our revenge!" Kouki let out a snicker.

"On who...?" Kazu smiled nervously.

"On Marcus freakin' Damon...," Kouki slammed his fist against his palm.

"Why?" Kazu asked.

"Because he ruined our science experiment! We would have gotten paid if the experiment went as planned, but no! Marcus Damon had to ruin it all for us!" Nanami snarled.

"It's all his fault we're stuck in this stupid place," Kouki growled.

"And now we're just nothing but broke losers...not that I would say that out loud," Ivan said.

"You guys are really pathetic," Kazu laughed.

"Finish him!" Nanami pointed her umbrella at Kazu.

"Trust me, I will! Nobody calls me pathetic and gets away with it! Especially someone in the likes of you!" Kouki shoved Kazu against a furnace and held him down by his throat.

"Hkkk...stop. You'rehhhhk choking-," Kazu croaked.

"Shut up, bitch!" Kouki yelled.

"I wanna shoot him, I wanna shoot him!" Ivan bounced.

"Then go ahead!" Nanami rolled her eyes.

"Hkkk-stop!"

"Stop?" everyone froze.

"What...if...I...told...you...," Kazu wheezed.

"What if you told us what?" Nanami impatiently tapped her fingers on the handle of her umbrella.

"What...if...I-"

"Kouki, let go of him!" Nanami commanded.

_*thud*_ Kouki took his hand off Kazu's throat and Kazu fell to the ground.

"Ahhh, fresh air...," Kazu breathed in deeply. "What if I told you that I could help you find Marcus?" Kazu winked.

"I don't trust you...but I wouldn't say that out loud," Ivan said.

"Ivan, you're an idiot but I have to agree with you," Nanami said. "There's just something so sleazy about this boy."

"Why would you want to help us?" Kouki said.

"What if I told you that me and him are in a competition and that if I want to beat him, I have to get to the finish line before he does?" Kazu said.

"I'd say you're just making this up as you go along, just so that we won't shoot you," Kouki cracked his knuckles.

"He's just trying to waste our time! Destroy him!" Nanami yelled.

"Gahhhh! Please don't kill me!" Kazu shrieked.

_*plat plat plat plat plat plat plat*_

"Oh, oh, ow! Dammit! Fu-" Kazu was running all around the underground labyrinth, trying to avoid the paintball blitzkrieg.

_*plat plat plat*_

"Hah hah hah hah hah!" Nanami, Ivan, and Kouki laughed as they dragged an unconscious Kazu to a dark pit.

* * *

"Finally got away from that demented puppet," Rika leaned against a tree. "Maybe I would have been faster if I didn't have this heavy backpack weighing me down," she dropped the bag down and kicked it into a bush.

"Stop! Don't throw anything away, because you never know if you're gonna need it," Katniss advised.

"You're sounding like Takato's grandma. By the way, Takato's parents won't let him see her because she's a crazy hoarder," Rika said.

"But you have a lot of cool things in that bag," Katniss said.

"Really? Really?" Rika grabbed the bag and emptied it out. "Explain what's so cool about mismatched socks and tell me why there are only three of them," Rika held up three crazy-colored socks.

"Those are the latest sock trends. Besides, if you get cold, you could use them as arm sleeves."

"But won't this blanket keep me warm?" Rika held up her invisibility cloak.

"Ironically, no. It barely even did its job at being invisible," Katniss scoffed.

"Then what's with this?" Rika picked up a mockingjay pin.

"That's like a good luck charm. It would look awesome pinned onto your shirt," Katniss said.

"Whatever," Rika dropped the pin back inside her knapsack. "But do I really need this? Does it do anything special?" she help up a German-English dictionary.

"It translates German words into English and English words into German," Katniss shrugged.

"Besides that," Rika flatly said.

"Beats me," Katniss said.

"Okay, so this is going in the trash," Rika dumped the dictionary in a garbage bag and went back to sifting through all of the other stuff. "Wow, these must be the ugliest glasses ever...," she pulled out a pair of huge pink sunglasses with heart-shaped lenses.

"They may look stupid, but they help you see in the dark," Katniss said.

"Hah, you've got to be kidding me!" Rika held up the glasses at a weird angle.

"If you don't believe me...," Katniss shrugged.

"Don't worry, I believe you," Rika said, grimacing at the pink sunglasses. "It's just hard to believe that these seemingly useless things are actually...useful."

"It's getting darker, so you'll be able to test those shades out soon...," Katniss paused.

"Awesome. I'm just gonna change out of these pants," Rika took off her poop-stained pants and put on her overalls. "Damn, I should have tried them on before I stole them."

"At least they're clean," Katniss shrugged.

"Yeah, but I look like a slut," Rika grimaced at her overalls. The pant legs were so short, they barely covered her girl boxers.

_*rustle*_

"Shhh..., I think I hear something," Katniss whispered. Rika hid behind a bush and peered out through it.

_*rustle rustle*_

"Where's it coming from?" Rika asked.

"I have no idea," Katniss said.

"The last thing I need is something stupid holding me back. I don't think they'll bother us if we're above ground," Rika put her backpack on and climbed up the nearest tree.

_*rustle rustle*_

"Okay, time to put these bad boys on. The good part about them is that even though I can see people in the dark, nobody else can see that I'm wearing these doofy things," Rika hung her backpack up on another branch and pulled out her sunglasses.

"Shhh...," Katniss quietly shushed.

"I don't think this challenge was supposed to last longer than a couple of hours," Kari nervously walked around the dark forest. She looked up to see three bright moons in the sky. "At least the night is pretty," she let out a smile.

"This is great," Rika muttered. "I hope she leaves soon."

"You could always sneak behind her back," Katniss suggested.

"Trust me, that's the last thing you'd wanna do. That girl is not as helpless as she looks," Rika whispered. "She's a tricky one."

"She looks like a trick," Katniss said.

"_TK to Kari, TK to Kari._"

"TK?" Kari clipped her "new" digivice off her belt. Kazu had thrown it away, so Kari took it after she ended up losing her digivice in the lava river. Unlike the other competitors, Kari was now at a slight advantage because she knew how to work her digivice.

"That's me," the digivice said.

"I'm so glad that you're here! Well, you're not here here, but-"

"I know what you mean," TK chuckled.

"What about me? I'm here too!"

"Ugh...Davis," Kari silently huffed. "Hi Davis," she droned.

"Ohmygod, she said hi...," Davis goofily said.

_*crash*_

"What was that?" Kari jolted.

"Davis. He just fainted," TK explained.

"Oh Davis," Kari sighed.

"Doof," Rika muttered from up the tree.

"So how are you holding up?" TK said.

"I'm not sure yet. I don't think I'm in the lead, or even close to first place," Kari said.

"You're fine," TK said.

"How do you know that? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?" Kari talked into her digivice.

"Relax. You need to have more confidence in yourself. I believe in you," TK said.

"Meh meh weh meh meh meh," Rika stuck her tongue out and mocked Kari.

"That's mature," Katniss snickered.

"Look Kari, you're doing just fine. Don't worry about a thing," TK calmly said.

"Okay," Kari yawned. "Gosh, I'm so tired. I wish you were here with me right now. It would be nice to have someone keep me warm."

"Is she serious?" Rika rolled her eyes.

"If I were there, I'd let you wear my biking jersey. It's warmer than you think. It insulates body heat or something like that. I mean, I'm not wearing anything underneath it but...," TK said.

"Is _he_ serious?" Rika rolled her eyes.

"That was your competition? If I lost to that guy, I don't know how I'd live with myself," Katniss scoffed.

"Sadly, he's one of the smartest guys in the competition too. You should see the other people who made it this far," Rika huffed. "It's getting pretty chilly."

"There should be a sleeping bag in there. It's made from a really thin, white plastic material. Kinda looks like a garbage bag," Katniss said.

"You mean that bag I dumped my dirty pants in?" Rika shrieked.

"You didn't put your poopy pants in there, did you?" Katniss gasped.

"I thought it was a trash bag! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I told you not to throw anything away," Katniss said.

"Gahmmmph!" Rika slid her hand down her face in frustration.

"I would lend you my biking jersey, but I'm not wearing anything underneath it," Katniss smirked.

"Smartass," Rika smirked back.

"TK, I'm scared. It's getting really dark," Kari talked into her D-3.

"That's kinda what happens when night falls...,"

"She's only been here five minutes and she's more_ *static*_..." Katniss's signal began to break.

"Katniss!" Rika shook her digivice.

"Catnip?" Kari looked up at the sky.

"Did you just say catnip?" TK said.

"I thought I heard someone say catnip...," Kari said.

"You need to _*static*_..."

"TK! You're breaking up!" Kari shook her digivice.

_*static*_

All of the tree trunks began to light up and random footage was being shown.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai: Slumber Party (Let's Go Crazy Crazy Crazy Till We See The Sun) Edition!_

"So sleepy...," Gennai yawned.

"Leave my fuzzies alone!" Lily smacked Gennai's hand.

"She gets like that when she doesn't get sleep," Gennai slurred.

"I do not! Look, we promised the audience 24/7 coverage of the finale, and that's what we're giving them, even if that means we have to guzzle more coffee than the Gilmore Girls. Gahhhh! I HATE coffee!" Lily slapped a coffee cup off her table.

"Are you okay? You're kinda scaring me...," Jeri whimpered.

"Your puppet scares me!" Lily snapped back.

"Hey hey hey! Let's all try to agree to get along!" Takato stepped in front of Jeri.

"Your pajamas smell funny," Tai sneered.

"Almost like day-old bread. Booyah!" Matt high-fived Tai.

"Buuuurn! Like the way your day-old bagels taste!" Tai stuck his tongue out at Takato.

"For crying out loud, no human being eats a whole pack of bagels in a day!" Takato breathed in deeply.

"Then you obviously haven't seen Marcus eat," Thomas scoffed.

"Somebody get me coffee NOW!" Lily shrieked.

"But didn't you just say that you hate coffee?" Sora winced.

"Yeah, I forgot! Then get me something else that will make me energeticy!" Lily demanded.

"You're acting hyper enough...are you sure you need more caffeine?" Tommy hid behind a huge pillow.

"YES! I'M FALLING ASLEEP HERE!" Lily yelled.

"It doesn't look like it," JP cowered.

"Here ya go! I got you Battery Juice in Lithium, Power Saver, Alkaline, and Recharge," Takuya grinned.

"See? Now that's what I'd like to see in my contestants! You're my favorite person now!" Lily hugged him. She went to pick up a can and shook it. "Hey! Why are they empty?!"

"Because I kinda sorta drank them all...sorry?" Takuya laughed nervously.

"He's such an idiot," Koji burrowed his face into his pillow.

"I'm tired," Mimi yawned.

"No! This isn't a sleepover! This is a slumber party!" Lily threw a pillow at Mimi's head.

"Aren't those the same thing?" Henry asked.

"No! A sleepover is when you sleep! A slumber party is when you stay up all night because you can't party if you're sleepy!" Lily stomped her foot. "Now someone get me a Battery Juice!"

"Are you sure you need more energy drinks?" Yoshi asked.

"YES!" Lily growled.

"Shhh...," Gennai held his finger in front of his lips. He lurked behind Lily, holding a huge pillow in his hands. Everyone nodded their heads in encouragement.

"Why is everyone shaking their heads yes?" Lily squinted her eyes.

_*THWACK*_

"Oomph," Lily fell on her face and crashed to the floor.

"Is she dead?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know...," Gennai trembled.

"Someone check," Zoe said.

"Okay," Koji picked up a stick and poked Lily in the arm.

"Ummmgh," Lily groaned.

"She's still alive," Thomas checked Lily's pulse. "Unconscious but still alive."

"Good, now we can finally get some sleep," Ken said.

* * *

"Oh look, we're finally...here," Bokomon's voice dropped.

"Oh, shi-" Marcus's eyes bulged.

"Hamburgers and hotdogs!" Neemon squealed.

"What the hell is this? Some barbecue come to life?!" Marcus yelled. A bunch of digimon that looked like hamburgers and hotdogs were angrily attacking each other.

"Ahhhh!" a couple of the burger-looking digimon pressed their backs against a building and began to pile up.

"Well, those are Burgermon," Bokomon pointed at the cowering digimon. "But I'm not too sure about those digimon. Must be an unknown species, because this is the first time I've seen them," Bokomon stared at the hotdog-looking digimon. The digimon looked like dachshunds that were wrapped in a hot dog bun.

"That's because they are...heh."

"If I didn't know any better...," Marcus growled.

"Glad to see you too, Marcus."

"Kurata," Marcus turned around to face the creepy villain.

"You know this guy? He looks creepy," Neemon blurted.

"You imbecile!" Bokomon gave himself a facepalm.

"So you think I'm creepy?" Kurata leaned in toward Neemon.

"Yeah, especially when you're in my face," Neemon nonchalantly said.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" Marcus jumped in front of Neemon to shield him.

"Don't worry. I won't lay a finger on him. My Wienermon will take care of him," Kurata flashed an evil grin.

"You sick pervert!" Marcus shoved Kurata to the ground.

"You're the pervert," Kurata calmly stood up and brushed the dirt from his lab coat. "My Wienermon isn't a euphemism for a certain body part of mine. That's the species of a new Digimon I created!"

"No wonder I never heard of them!" Bokomon nodded his head.

"After I lost my Bio-Hybrids, I had to create something new and destructive," Kurata said.

"But why?" Neemon asked.

"Because I hate burgers! I want to wipe them off the existence of the Digital World!" Kurata laughed like a maniac.

"You selfish bastard! Just because you don't like hamburgers doesn't mean you can get rid of them! Did you even consider that other people like hamburgers?!" Marcus yelled.

"Honestly, I don't care," Kurata grinned.

"Arf arf! Attack!" a hotdog digimon lunged toward a Burgermon.

"Relish Riot!" a Wienermon turned its butt to the Burgermon and pooped out green relish.

"Ahhhh!" the Burgermon shrieked.

"Clever invention, huh?" Kurata smirked.

"What's so clever about hotdogs shitting relish?!" Marcus growled.

"You're just jealous because you don't have the innovation that I do!"

"Ha, please! More like idiotation!" Marcus yelled.

"Enough!"

"Huh?" everyone looked at each other in confusion.

"There's a new sheriff in town!"

* * *

"Ahhh! That was a nice little nap there," Kari stretched her arms and yawned.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Morning to you too, TK!" Kari spoke into her digivice.

"Sorry, what did you say? I was talking to Davis. But good morning to you, Kari! Ready to get a move on?"

"Sure," Kari slid out of a thin, white plastic bag. The night before was chilly, but Kari saw the bag at the corner of her eye, which surprisingly kept her warm. "Something smells funny..."

"Is it smoke?" TK asked.

"No, it smells almost like...New York City," Kari scrunched up her face.

"How do you know what New York City smells like? You've never even been there," TK said.

"Yes, we have. We came to see Mimi," Kari reminded.

"Ohhh, yeah! That trip sucked. Mimi made us sleep in cardboard boxes behind her apartment complex because we showed up to her house without telling her. Also, her parents hate our guts," TK said.

"Come on! We had some fun," Kari said. "Remember when Willis would mimic strangers? That was fun!"

"Not for me. Everyone thought I was the one making fun of them. New York people can be dangerous when you mock them," TK said.

"So what if a couple of strangers beat you up? You're a-holy crap!" Kari shrieked. She shook the bag to find a pair of poopy pants and a ruined German-English dictionary. "Ahhhh!" Kari looked down to see that she had poop smeared all over her body.

"What's wrong?" TK asked.

"I really don't want to talk about it. Just tell me how to get to File quickly!" Kari yelled.

"There's a little shortcut that will lead you to the beach. I already punched in the coordinates, so you know what to do," TK said.

"Thanks. Now let's get down to business," Kari followed the directions on her digivice. She walked through a thin layer of trees, until she saw sand. "What the...am I at the beach?"

"You sure are, dollface!" a Toucanmon said.

"Whoa! Did you get in a mud wrestling match?" another Toucanmon winced at Kari.

"I bet she wrestled some nasty Numemon," another Toucanmon said.

"We should get you cleaned up," a third Toucanmon said.

"A shower would be nice," Kari said.

"Here, you can take your time in the changing hut," one of the Toucanmon ushered Kari into a tent.

"You can put your belongings in this so your stuff doesn't get wet," a Toucanmon handed Kari a basket.

"Thanks guys! You're really nice," Kari smiled.

"Aw, you're making us shy!" the Toucanmon blushed.

"We haven't had many visitors come to the beach, so we get excited when people show up," one Toucanmon said.

"Oh! And when you're done, you can get some new clothes! It's on the house!" one of the Toucanmon perked up.

"You guys are amazing! Thanks for everything," Kari grinned.

"No problem!" the Toucanmon said in unison. Kari took the basket and dumped her clothes in. She took her digivice with her and climbed into a shower.

_*shhhhhhhh*_

"Let's see if she's got anything valuable in here."

"You guys can look, but count me out."

"Why? What makes you think she's got anything good?"

"She's a destined one. I just know it! I'll prove it to you!"

"And how will you do that?"

"By taking her digivice. Every human in the Digital World has a digivice."

"Why do you want to take her digivice? We had four of those things, and they weren't worth more than an old ass wooden camera!"

"Those bastards," Kari peeked out of the shower curtain.

"What's going on?" TK quietly asked.

"Those Toucanmon are trying to steal my stuff," Kari reached for a towel. She hopped out of the shower and left the water running.

"Bah, I told you so! Nothing but crap. Literally," one of the Toucanmon huffed.

"If that's how they want to play," Kari tiptoed behind the Toucanmon and sneaked into the surf shop next door. The only clothing there were bikinis and huge T-shirts that said "_My aunt went to Toucan Paradise and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. I wanted the lousy shot glass_," so Kari took the only thing that was practical to wear. She put on a bikini and slid her feet into a pair of swim shoes. Then she climbed behind the checkout counter and took an inflatable boat.

"She's taking a really long time in there."

"Someone should check up on her."

"I'll do it!"

"Oh my god," Kari grimaced. "It's a good thing I got out of there in time."

"Hey! She took our raft!" a Toucanmon squawked.

"You said it was on the house!" Kari yelled as she hopped into the inflatable boat.

"You thief!" one of the Toucanmon growled.

"Funny, since you guys were trying to steal from me first," Kari stuck her tongue out.

"Gah! We're gonna get you for this!" a Toucanmon shook his wing at Kari.

"Don't get bent out of shape. Karma will get her for this," another Toucanmon said.

"Yeah! That's right! Karma! Karma! Karma!" all of the Toucanmon chanted.

* * *

"There's a new sheriff in town!"

"Oh boy, this has to be good," Kurata chuckled.

"Rika?" Marcus blinked.

"And Kazu!"

"Kazu?!" Rika and Marcus shrieked in unison.

"Hey guys! What do you think of my fabulous pants? They're sequined I found them in the sewer!" Kazu posed in his new pants.

"Uh...," everyone, including Kurata froze in silence.

"Ketchup Catastrophe!" a Wienermon peed ketchup on Kazu's shoe.

"Hey! You almost ruined my pants!" Kazu kicked the digimon.

"Mustard Monsoon!" the Wienermon barfed at Kazu's feet.

"I don't care if you barf on my feet, but if even one drop of mustard gets on my pants, you're done for!" Kazu kicked the Wienermon again.

"Arf!" the Wienermon yelped before it disintegrated into thin air.

"Noooo! You're destroying my masterpieces!" Kurata yelled.

"These hot dogs are his masterpieces?" Rika scoffed. "This guy must be evil."

"Thank you! Someone really acknowledges my evilness," Kurata grinned.

"No. I acknowledge your stupidness. Only an evil guy would be stupid enough to make mutant food-type digimon," Rika scoffed. "Those guys wouldn't last one attack in the card game!"

"She's right," Kazu smiled.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Marcus shot the Tamers a strange look.

"Ah, the Digimon card game. It's a game of strategy and chance! It takes a person with a digital natural ability to come out as a victor!" Bokomon said.

"Hey! Rika knows all about that! She's the Digimon Queen! The only one who could beat her is Ryo!" Kazu excitedly flapped his hands.

"Hey! Don't you ever mention that again! Got it?" Rika growled at Kazu.

"Arf arf!" all of the Wienermon began to surround Bokomon and Neemon.

"Help!" Bokomon shrieked.

"Please! If these digimon keep acting like this, our village will be destroyed for good!" a Burgermon pleaded.

"We have to help them out!" Kazu said.

"And how do you propose you do that?" Marcus yelled.

"I think I have an idea," Rika rummaged through her backpack and pulled out a deck of Digimon cards. "Here, swipe these through your digivice!"

"If you say so," Marcus shrugged and took the cards. "How is this going to help? Nothing's happening!"

"You're supposed to say 'Digi-Modify' and then the attack's name. Here, I'll show you how a real tamer does it!" Kazu held out his palm.

"Go ahead," Marcus handed Kazu the deck of cards.

"Can I borrow your digivice?" Kazu meekly asked.

"What the hell happened to yours?" Marcus barked.

"That thing was completely useless. Just extra baggage to carry around," Kazu casually said.

"I know someone like that," Rika muttered.

"Fine," Marcus slammed his digivice in Kazu's hand.

"This is how it goes...Digi-Modify! Hyper Wing Activate!" Kazu confidently swiped the card through the digivice but nothing happened.

"Ugh, this is pointless!" Rika huffed as she punched a couple of Wienermon out of her way.

"Rika! Your fists! They're glowing!" Kazu pointed out.

"Ooooh, pretty!" Neemon said in awe.

"Do you even know what's going on? She just activated her digisoul!"

"Rika! Slide your hand over your digivice and yell 'DNA charge'!" Marcus yelled.

"Why would I do something like that?" Rika scoffed.

"Listen to Marcus. Just do it," Katniss said.

"Alright...DNA charge!" Rika skeptically slid her glowing hand over her digivice. Suddenly a Power Rangers theme song began to play loudly in the background and Marcus began to glow. "What the hell is going on?" Rika gasped.

"Marcus Damon digivolve to...Power Ranger Red, SPD Mode!" Marcus growled.

"Holy shit, you're a Power Ranger!" Kazu gasped.

"Damn straight I am! Now let's get down to fighting time! Rika, catch!" Marcus cracked his fists and threw his digivice and digimon cards at Rika.

"Got it!" Rika nodded. "Twin Sickles activate!" she swiped a card.

"Whoa! My hands are like knives. Whachaaaaa! Chop chop!" Marcus began slicing away at the Wienermon.

"Hiii-yah!" Rika roundhouse kicked a couple of Wienermon.

"Hey guys...I wanna help too," Kazu whined.

"How about you do us a favor by just staying out of the way?" Rika said as she whipped out another card.

"But that's no fun...," Kazu frowned.

"Pssst," Neemon motioned Kazu over. "You're basically useless since you don't have one of those Digi-gadgets-"

"Okay, MC Hammer, what's your point?" Kazu interrupted.

"You should do what I do and pretend you're fighting along with your friends. Back when we hung out with the Legendary Warriors, I'd pretend to be a ninja!" Neemon said.

"Wow! That's an awesome idea!" Kazu grinned. "Watch out, Wienermon! You're going down!" Kazu karate-kicked the air.

"Hyper Chip Activate!" Rika swiped a card through Marcus's digivice.

"Huh-yah! Bam! Kablaw!" Marcus made sound effects as he punched and kicked the mutant digimon.

"Stop! What are you doing?!" Kurata fell to his knees.

"We're kicking ass! That's what we're doing!" Kazu pretended to kick a Wienermon.

"Alright, Marcus! Ready for the grand finale?" Rika spun a card between her fingers.

"I'm ready!" Marcus yelled.

"Alright, everyone! Clear the area and brace yourselves...," Rika took the card and swiped it. "Super Ghost Kamikaze Attack Activate!"

"Aaarghhhh!" Marcus grunted. A ghost-like version of him popped out of his chest and spun around like a tornado.

_*BOOM BOOM BOOM*_

"Nooo! My precious digimon!" Kurata cried out. All of the Wienermon's data dissolved into the sky.

"It's okay! You can go along with them!" Marcus grinned.

"Let's finish this guy off," Rika nodded. "Thor's Hammer Activate!"

"Why would she pick a card like that?" Bokomon frowned in disapproval.

"Whabammo!" Marcus struck Kurata flat into oblivion.

"Ahhhh!" Kurata cried in pain before he turned into data.

"Yes!" Rika leaned on her forearms and sat back in the dirt.

"We did it," Marcus transformed back into his regular self. He dropped to the floor on all fours, trying to catch his breath.

"We sure did! Now it's time for me to go!" Kazu leaped in the air and dashed off.

"That little bi-," Rika plopped down on her back from exhaustion.

"If...I...weren't...so...tired," Marcus huffed.

"We gotta get up!" Rika struggled to stand up.

"There's no way in hell that I'm gotta let that dumb slut win!" Marcus said in a gruff voice.

* * *

_*POP*_

"What was that?" Kari jumped and accidently dropped her paddle in shock.

_*squeeeee*_ Kari's raft began to leak out air.

"Oh no! This is the worst!" Kari grabbed at her hair.

"Don't worry! It could always be worse," TK said.

"Like what?!" Kari yelled. "I lost my paddle and now my raft's deflating on me!"

"Oh," TK said.

"I'm gonna die in the sea!" Kari dramatically wailed.

"Did someone say pie in the sea?"

"What the...," Kari looked up to see a huge pirate ship looming over her pitiful raft.

"Hello there, future crew member!" a young, scrawny dark-haired boy waved down at Kari. The boy wore a straw hat on his head and a red vest that was buttoned closed.

"Me?" Kari looked confused.

"Who else would I be talking to? So how's it? Wanna be a member of the Straw Hat Pirates?" the boy asked.

"I don't even know what that's supposed to mean," Kari frowned.

"Oh, I always get ahead of myself when I'm in a recruiting mood! Let's start from the beginning! There once was pirate named Gold Roger, who was the King of the Pirates. He had fame, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams. Before they hung him from the gallows, these were the last words he said, 'My treasure's up for the taking, but you'll have to find it first. I left everything I own in One Piece'. Ever since, pirates from around set out in search of One Piece, the treasure that will make their dreams come true."

"I'm looking for that One Piece too!" Kari gasped.

"Really? Then you should definitely join my crew!" the boy grinned.

"I barely know you...," Kari said.

"My name's Luffy! That's Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be king of the pirates!" the boy declared.

"Your name is Monkey?" Kari asked.

"Just call me Luffy! What's your name?" the scrawny boy asked.

"I'm Kari," Kari said.

"Great! Now that we know each other, we should be mates!" Luffy said.

"I don't think we should mate at all...," Kari winced.

"Why not? Don't you want to make it to the top?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah, but I have morals," Kari said.

"That's not what Zoe says-"

"Shut up, Teeks!" Kari growled into her digivice.

"Are you evil?" Luffy gasped.

"No, I'm a good girl! I mean, I'm just a normal person!" Kari stammered.

"So you're not involved with the Krieg Pirates?" Luffy asked.

"I don't even know who that is," Kari asked.

"Awesome! So I don't see why we can't be mates," Luffy said.

"We...we just can't, okay?" Kari said.

"Awww, come on! Pleeeeaaaaaseeee?" Luffy begged.

_*squeeee*_

"Kari, I think you should take him up on his offer. Besides, it's not like you're one to hold back. Tommy keeps saying that you're probably sluttier than his mom. And from what Tommy says, his mom is a huuuuuge slut," TK said.

"But-"

"You can either be on a working boat and sleep with him, or you can stay on that plastic sinking ship and sleep with the fishes. That raft isn't gonna last much longer," TK said.

"Okay, Luffy! It's a deal!" Kari said.

"Yes! My first crew mate!" Luffy jumped up in the air.

"Oh, crew mate," Kari sighed in relief.

"Yeah! What other mate would I be talking about? Classmate?" Luffy cocked his head to the side.

"Uh...yeah," Kari sheepishly looked at the water.

"Here, hold on!" Luffy leaned over his ship and stretched his arms all the way to Kari.

"Whoa!" Kari held on to his hands and Luffy flung her into the boat.

"Yeah, that's right! I'm made of rubber!" Luffy grinned.

"How'd that happen?" Kari asked.

"I took a bite from the Gum-Gum!" Luffy grinned.

"Sometimes I chew gum, but I never stretched like rubber," Kari said.

"I guess the Devil's Fruit doesn't affect some people. Boy, you missed out," Luffy looked at Kari in pity.

"I usually chew peppermint, so maybe I should switch over to Devil's Fruit. Sounds like a tropical flavor," Kari quietly pondered.

"Let's set sail for One Piece, it's the name of the treasure in the Grand Line!" Luffy grinned.

"Set sail for One Piece!" Kari confidently yelled.

* * *

"Man, I probably should have stuck to three burgers," Rika held her belly. For saving their village, the Burgermon treated Rika and Marcus to an infinite amount of burgers. By the time Rika was full, Marcus was still eating, so as soon as she was done, she took the opportunity to get a head start and she left Hamburger Village.

"Appreciate it while you're young. Once you get to be like me, it'll all go to your hips...not that it's necessarily a bad thing, I mean Gale-"

"Oooh, who's Gale?" Rika smirked.

"Nobody!" Katniss blurted. "Would you look at that, Rika? Just a couple more feet and you should see the harbor. We're getting closer to File Island by the minute!"

"Great, maybe I can hop aboard on a ship!" Rika ran over, but she didn't see any boats on the dock. "Excuse me! Little boy!"

"Eh, me?" a cute, little boy with auburn hair said in a slight Italian accent. He had a huge cowlick sticking up at the side of his head, and he was smiling so hard that his eyes looked closed. He looked like a real-life chibi character.

"Yeah, you. Do you know if there are any boats headed out to File Island soon?" Rika asked.

"Eh...well, there's that one!" the little boy pointed to a huge luxury cruise ship. The words 'S.S. Tyetanik' were scrawled on the sides of the boat in gold glitter paint.

"Hey, Rika! Is that you?" Kazu peeked out from the ship.

"Are you kidding me?!" Rika growled.

"If you want to get to File Island, you better get on that ship quickly. It's about to leave," the little boy flailed his arms in the air.

_*HONK*_ "The S.S. Tyetanik will be departing...now!"

"Whoa!" Rika tried to jump aboard, but the ship pulled away at the last minute. "Nooo!" she tried to keep her head up in the water.

"Accidenti! That's the last boat headed to the island...," the little boy whimpered.

"Gah!" Rika shimmied up a wooden pile and jumped back up into the pier.

"I'm so sorry! We have some emergency boats over there, but they haven't been taken out of their crates yet," the little boy pointed to a pile of crates.

"Are you sure? Those boxes have pictures of tomatoes on them," Rika glanced at the crates.

"Eh, I'm too scared to check. What if there are tomato box fairies inside? They're so scary!"

"Unbelievable! There's no such thing as tomato box fairies," Rika stomped over to the crates. She picked up a wrench that was randomly lying around, and she used it to open one of the crates. She lifted the lid up, and there were a bunch of pieces of wood inside. "See? No tomato box fairies!"

"Oh, what a relief!" the little boy ran over to Rika.

"Now where are the instructions?" Rika shuffled through the wood pieces.

"Right here," the little boy held up a white booklet.

"Thanks," Rika took the book and stared at it. "_Die Anweisungen_? Are you sure these are instructions? If you ask me, someone really wants this Anweisungen dead."

"Eh well, that's the only booklet I found," the little boy said.

"_Glückwunsch! Sie sind jetzt der glückliche Besitzer eines unserer renommierten Schwarzes Wasser Serie Holzschiffe!_" Rika grimaced. "Whoa, this has to be the angriest thing I ever read."

"I don't think that's even English...sounds more like German to me. Hey, don't you have a German dictionary?" Katniss piped up.

"Yeah...one that I ditched behind with my dirty pants," Rika said through her teeth.

"Oh...scheisse," Katniss frowned.

"Great, what am I gonna do now?!" Rika punched the crate.

"Yes. Go ahead and act like Marcus. That'll totally get you far," Katniss said.

"Mmmrrr...," Rika pressed her lips shut.

"Rika? What the hell are you doing?!" Katniss gasped.

_*smash smash smash*_ Rika bashed her head against the crate multiple times.

"Ahhhh...I'm scared!" the little boy shrieked and ran away.

"Quit it! I don't need a brain-damaged partner!" Katniss exclaimed.

"What's the point? It's like the only way anyone can make it this far is by being a complete retard!" Rika growled.

"No no no! You don't have to stoop down to their IQ level! You have something that everyone else doesn't have!" Katniss said.

"What? Smarts?" Rika scoffed.

"Well, that too...but I was talking about me! You have me, so we can't lose!" Katniss said.

"Then what bright idea do you have?"

"Why don't we just use the crates to get us across? It's almost like a boat...a very square boat, but it's like already built! All we need is paddles to steer the crate!"

"Wow, that is a good idea. I never thought of doing that," Rika said.

"Maybe if you didn't smash the crates with your head, you would have came up with that idea on your own," Katniss smirked.

"Ah, shaddup!" Rika rolled her eyes and hopped into the crate.

"Wait! Before we set sail, we've got to christen the boat!" Katniss said.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Rika huffed.

"Does it sound like I'm joking?" Katniss said in a serious tone.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Rika exclaimed.

"Come on! For good luck! Pleeeeaaaaseeee?" Katniss begged.

"Ugh, fine...how do you christen a crate?" Rika rolled her eyes.

"First you find a wine bottle," Katniss said.

"Where am I supposed to find that?" Rika spat. "Seriously, people need to throw away their crap! There's a bunch of malt liquor bottles on the pier!"

"Yeah, use one of those bottles! Close enough," Katniss said.

"Now what?" Rika picked up a bottle.

"Now make a small speech about the boat," Katniss instructed.

"What am I supposed to say about the boat? That it's a crate?" Rika snarled.

"Yeah, that's a good start. Now what are you going to name it?" Katniss asked.

"Do I really have to? This is really stupid," Rika huffed.

"It's for good luck! Don't be a dead weight," Katniss said.

"Alright...this crate shall now be called S.S...uh, Tomato Box Fairy," Rika shrugged.

"Okay, now repeat after me," Katniss said.

"Okay, now repeat after me," Rika smirked.

"Aren't you mature," Katniss shook her head.

"Aren't you mature," Rika repeated.

"Alright, let's just get on with it. Dear God, we present to you our ship, S.S. Tomato Box Fairy," Katniss said.

"Alright, let's just get on with it. Dear God, we present to you our ship, S.S. Tomato Box Fairy," Rika said.

"We humbly ask you for a safe passage."

"We humbly ask you for a safe passage," Rika repeated.

"For strength," Katniss said.

"For strength," Rika said.

"For reliability."

"For reliability."

"And that all passengers and their cargo will be safely in your hands for infinity and beyond."

"And that all passengers and their cargo will be safely in your hands for infinity and beyond."

"Amen," Katniss ended.

"Amen."

"Now take the bottle and smash it against the corner of the crate," Katniss instructed.

"Why can't you do this? This whole lunacy is your idea," Rika held the bottle in her face.

"I would, but I'm kinda trapped in this digivice. Now smash the bottle!"

"Gladly," Rika hit the bottle against the crate and it shattered into pieces.

"Yay! Now we can set sail!" Katniss cheered.

"Finally!" Rika huffed as she went back inside the crate.

* * *

_Earlier that day..._

"S.S. Tye-tan-ik...Tye-tan-ik...," Kazu read the side of a luxury cruise ship. "Tyetanik, Tyetanik, Tyetanik, Titanic?! Are you sure this boat is safe?"

"Of course Etemon is! Why would you even ask a ridiculous question like that?" a monkey-like digimon said in a poor Elvis Presley impersonation.

"Come on! Look at the name! Tyetanik? Seriously?" Kazu pointed at the fancy boat.

"Yeah, what about it?" the Etemon crossed his arms.

"It's Tyetanik! Titanic, like that boring ass movie about the sinking boat?" Kazu hinted.

"This isn't the Titanic! It's the Tyetanik! Completely different name!" the Etemon said.

"Hmmm...," Kazu narrowed his eyes.

"Look kid, it's your choice. Etemon's not gonna force you to board the Tyetanik, but he's gotta let you that this is the earliest boat to File Island," the Etemon said.

"Hmmm...," Kazu flicked his chin.

"Come on kid, Etemon doesn't have all day! Actually, Etemon does have all day, but he's not gonna stand here waiting for you. Etemon doesn't like to wait for anyone; Etemon likes to go on his own time," the Etemon said.

"Why are you talking in third person?" Kazu raised an eyebrow.

"Because Etemon can! Now are you boarding the Tyetanik or not? We've got karaoke!" the Etemon said.

"Heck! Why didn't you say so earlier? I'm in!" Kazu hopped onto the ship.

"Let's get this show on the road!" the Etemon glided to the steering wheel.

"Hey, Rika! Is that you?" Kazu peeked out from the ship.

"Are you kidding me?!" Rika growled.

"Hey, wait up, don't start the boat yet! My friend's down there!" Kazu said.

"Sorry, but it's too late. Can't stop the ship now," the Etemon shrugged.

_*HONK*_ "The S.S. Tyetanik will be departing...now!"

"Whoa!"

_*splash*_

"Alrighty sonny boy! How about we get the party started with a classic song?" the Etemon turned on a karaoke machine.

"Oh my god! I love this song!" Kazu excitedly flapped his hands.

"Then prove it! Catch!" the Etemon threw a toy microphone in Kazu's direction.

"_One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go cat go...but don't you step on my blue suede shoes_," Kazu sang.

"_You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes!_" the Etemon pitched in.

* * *

"I think you overdid it with those burgers. You're fat," Neemon poked Bokomon in his belly.

"You do look kinda chubby," Marcus agreed.

"I'm not fat! I'm carrying a digi-egg!" Bokomon said.

"How come I never noticed that till now?" Marcus squinted at Bokomon.

"I was hoping this belt would create the illusion of a flatter belly, but I guess it's not fooling anyone," Bokomon patted at his pink belt.

"Maybe it's the color. I hear that black makes people look thinner," Neemon said.

"Maybe that's why Miki and Megumi like wearing black all the time. They think they're fat," Marcus said.

* * *

_At the Damon Residence..._

"And that's why we're not Team Marcus!" Miki growled.

"Also, those Team Marcus shirts don't flatter us as much as the Team Rika shirts. Don't I just look 15 pounds thinner in this?" Megumi playfully tugged at her black Team Rika shirt.

"Oh my god, you totally do!" Miki squealed.

"Is anyone even wearing a Team Marcus shirt?" Kristy asked.

"Nope," Sampson shook his head.

"Not me," Keenan said.

"I have no idea who Marcus is," Yamaki shrugged.

"Then why is he here?" Kristy muttered into her mom's ear.

"Great dip, Sarah," Yamaki held up a nacho chip.

"Why thank you," Sarah awkwardly rubbed her arm.

* * *

"Maybe you guys are right...I think I over did it. Ohhhh! Ohhhh!" Bokomon moaned in pain.

"Bokomon!" Marcus yelled.

"Ohhhh! Sweet baby Jesus!" Bokomon stumbled and fell down.

"Are you okay?" Neemon poked Bokomon on the head.

"I fell on my face, and I'm having labor pains. I'm fine and DANDY!" Bokomon growled.

"Okay, okay, I don't know how to handle pregnant people, so...uh, just act naturally?" Marcus shrugged.

"You want me to act naturally? You want me to act naturally? THIS IS ME ACTING NATURALLY!" Bokomon pulled Marcus's hair.

"Ow, you son of a bitch! You're lucky you're pregnant," Marcus whined.

_*crackle crack*_

"Oh my gosh! The egg is hatching!" Neemon squealed.

"Please let this be over already! Mercy! Mercy!" Bokomon cried.

_*crack crackle crack*_

_*POOF*_

"Hi! I'm Patamon!" a digimon that looked like a combination of a bat and a pig flew out of Bokomon's belt. The little Patamon was wearing the same belt as Bokomon.

"Awww, how cute!" Neemon cooed.

"Hmmm...are you the father?" Marcus asked Neemon.

"God no! Frankly, I'm quite insulted that you think that dummkopf would be the father. I have a higher set of standards than most priests have!" Bokomon said.

"I'm bored," the Patamon flapped in the air.

"So you want a little adventure, kid? Well, you came at the right time because we're in the middle of a race!" Marcus grinned.

"Yay! Where are we going?" the Patamon asked.

"To File Island!" Neemon squealed.

"I just saw a harbor ahead, so there should be boats there," Marcus said.

"Then let's get a move on!" Bokomon slowly ran toward the pier.

"I walk faster than that. Look at meeee!" Neemon skipped.

"I'm sorry, but my legs are a bit sore! I just delivered a baby!" Bokomon snapped.

"Dude, let me help you out," Marcus swooped Bokomon into his arms and they ran to the port.

"There are no more boats!" the little boy cried out.

"No more boats?" Marcus asked. "But then how am I gonna cross over to File Island?"

"I don't know! Please don't yell at me signor!" the little boy trembled.

"Ooooh! I got an idea! How about I fly you to the island?" the Patamon said.

"No! You're too young to go flying that far away!" Bokomon said.

"But moooommy...," the Patamon whined.

"Awww, he just called me Mommy!" Bokomon jumped up and hugged Patamon.

"Oh my god, you're so embarrassing!" the Patamon squished its face.

"I tell him that all the time, and he just gets mad at me. I think Bokomon likes the new baby more than he likes me," Neemon pouted.

"My baby!" Bokomon nuzzled his face against Patamon's.

"Ah, don't worry! After a couple of weeks, Bokomon will get tired of the baby and everything will be normal again!" Marcus scoffed.

"Do you really mean that?" Neemon sniffled.

"Of course! Besides, it's a scientific fact that parents basically give up after the second baby comes around. So if you're like the fourth kid in the family, you're really screwed. Us first-borns are lucky!" Marcus nodded.

"Signor! I just remembered, there's an emergency boat you can take. You just have to build it first!" the young boy said.

"Where?" Marcus asked.

"Over there," the little boy pointed to a pile of wood at the end of the pier.

"Thanks!" Marcus picked up a white booklet that was at the top of the pile. "_Die Anweisungen_. Hmmm," he flipped through the booklet and started to assemble the ship.

"You can read that mumbo jumbo?" Neemon asked. "It looks like a lot of gibberish."

"It is not gibberish! It's German," Bokomon corrected.

"I was close," Neemon shrugged.

"How do you know German?" Bokomon asked.

"That's not German, it's Austrian. I used to listen in on conversations Thomas's dad had with Thomas's gramma. I guess I picked it up pretty quickly. Let's just say there's a lot of juicy details that even Thomas doesn't know," Marcus said.

"Ha, I told you Austrian was a language," a distinguished-looking man with sleek brown hair smirked. He was wearing glasses, and his eyes were a nice shade of purple.

"Nein nein nein!" a muscly blond man pounded on a table. "I work my Arsch off, while you lounge around playing die Piano and take credit for everything I do! I won't take this from you, pretty boy!"

"Stop it! Arnold Schwarzenegger is mine, but who does everyone think he belongs to? And don't get me started on Mozart! You're the culture thief, Mr. Germany! You're nothing more than a big boy-stealing blond bimbo!" the distinguished-looking guy said in disdain.

"Eh, Austria?" the tiny boy tugged at the man's purple coat.

"What is it now, Italy?" the distinguished guy huffed.

"May I have some pasta? I'm hungry," the little boy said.

"No. No pasta. Now go clean my house!" the distinguished guy handed the little boy a broom.

"Okay," the little boy frowned.

* * *

"Tadaaaa!" Marcus proudly stood in front of his built gondola.

"What a beauty!" Bokomon said.

"So pretty!" Neemon squeaked.

"Alright, time to climb on it! Come on, guys!" Marcus hopped into the small boat.

"I don't think we're all going to fit. You can barely fit inside the boat," Bokomon noted.

"Aw, come on! There's enough room for everyone!" Marcus said.

"No. I don't think it's a good idea," Bokomon shook his head.

"Why not?" Marcus asked.

"Because he's scared of File Island...," Neemon smirked.

"I am not afraid of File Island, even if it is an uncharted territory filled with wild digimon and dangerous perils! I'm just scared that if we all pile up on the boat, it'll sink and we'll all be in the bottom of the sea. Yeah, that's my reasoning!" Bokomon rapidly spoke.

"Mommy...," the Patamon whined.

"No! It is completely unsafe, especially with someone like you!" Bokomon crossed his arms.

"Okay, fine...," the Patamon stopped flapping its ears and settled down on the board planks.

"Yeah, we'll stay behind," Neemon pouted.

"Are you sure? Bokomon, you helped me out so much," Marcus asked.

"Yes! Positive! Now go! You have a race to win!" Bokomon shooed Marcus away.

"Alright. Thanks for everything! You guys rock!" Marcus started to row the boat.

"We'll miss you!" Bokomon cried.

"Bye Marcus!" Neemon waved goodbye.

* * *

"And thank you son, for boarding the S.S. Tyetanik. Thank you, thank you very much," the Etemon grinned.

"Dude, that was the best party ship I've ever been on! Well, it's the only one I've ever been on, but it was still cool!" Kazu said.

"For being an awesome passenger, Etemon wants you to have this...," the Etemon handed Kazu a tee.

"_I survived the S.S. Tyetanik_," Kazu read the shirt. "I love it! Thanks man!"

"Oh, and here's a free fanny pack on the house!" Etemon handed Kazu a yellow teddy bear-shaped fanny pack. "Yah see, you wear it like this!" he gestured at his belt area.

"Like this?" Kazu put the fanny pack on, so that the teddy bear was on his crotch.

"Exactly! Now who's a handsome stud?" Etemon said.

"I am!" Kazu grinned.

"No no no, that's where you're wrong, sonny boy! Remember, Etemon is the king of rock and the king of good looks," Etemon said.

"Wow! What aren't you the king of?" Kazu gasped.

"Etemon's not the Burger King. Hamburgers aren't good for anything but wrecking your figure! You see these rock hard abs? You sure don't get them from eating burgers!" Etemon pointed to his stomach. "Now Etemon thinks it's time for you to get running! I can't wreak havoc on the Digital World by myself! Oh, don't forget to tell all your friends about the Tyetanik, okay?"

"Trust me, I will!" Kazu nodded.

"Now, if you don't mind, Etemom's gonna scramble some eggs down in Primary Village! Good luck on your journey, son," Etemon said.

"Okay! Bye!" Kazu waved goodbye.

_*riiiiinnnnnnggg riiiiiinnnnnggg*_

"Where's my phone?" Kazu patted himself down. "Oh, that's right. My mom took it away after she saw the porn collection under my bed. Then where is it coming from?"

_*riiiiiiiinnnnnnggggg rinnnngggg*_

"It's coming from a pay phone!" Kazu saw a field of random pay phone booths scattered around the beach.

_*riiiinnnng riiiiinnnngggg riiiinnnnngggg*_

"Alright! I'm coming! Sheesh!" Kazu yelled. He walked by the booths until he found the source of the ringing. He stepped inside the phone booth and picked up the phone. "Hullo?"

"_Hey there. Are you looking for a good time?_" a woman's voice said from over the phone.

"Yeah. I like good times!" Kazu said.

"_Then we're off to a good start._"

"Why do you say that?" Kazu asked.

_*rumble rumble craaaaack*_

"What the hell is going on?" Kazu panicked. The phone booth began to shake and sink underneath the sand."Get me out of here!" Kazu tried to get out of the booth but the doors were stuck shut. "Ahhh! I'm gonna dieeeee!"

"_Just think of this as an experience you won't forget_," the voice in the phone said.

"My dad was right! He told me never to talk to people with sexy voices over the phone! They charge you $53 a minute and the next thing you know, you'll find yourself in a tight spot! A dark, lonely, tight spot...I'M GONNA DIEEEEE!"

* * *

"Alas, File Island!" Luffy hopped off his boat.

"We're finally here! We're finally here!" Kari jumped into Luffy's arms.

"Whoa!" Luffy immediately dropped Kari onto the ground.

"Oww...," Kari fell on her butt.

"Sorry! I thought something was gonna happen to my hat," Luffy patted his straw hat.

"That's okay," Kari moaned in pain.

_*rustle rustle*_

"Shhh...," Luffy stood in a defense position.

"What?" Kari asked.

"I hear something...maybe we should set up a trap," Luffy whispered.

"Why for?"

"Because I'm bored and maybe they have cool stuff to steal," Luffy grabbed a rope and webbed it into a net.

"Amazing," Kari said, impressed by Luffy's trap setting skills.

"Shhhh," Luffy pulled Kari behind a tree.

"Are you sure we're on the right track?" Rika sighed.

"Positive. This is the quickest way to get to the finish line, considering where we just left the crate," Katniss said.

_*snap*_

"Ahhhhhh!" Rika stepped on the trap and the net swooped her up and hung on the tree.

"We caught something!" Kari clapped her hands.

"Nah. She probably doesn't have anything good," Luffy pulled a sword from out of his back.

"That's okay, I'll handle this," Kari said to Luffy.

"Alright, I'm gonna lay more traps around," Luffy said.

"Rika?" Kari tilted her head.

"Get me outta here!" Rika growled.

"I would but...that would be stupid. Let's face it, you are my biggest competition. Those boys are bound to stumble in their own stupidity, but you're different from those guys. Now that you're tied up in a hammock, it'll only make it easier for me," Kari pulled on her lower eyelid and ran off.

"Gahhhh! Once I get out of here, it's fighting time! Me and you, girlie!" Rika screamed.

"Calm down. Where's the mockingjay pin?" Katniss asked.

"I'm trapped in a net and you're worried about accessories?!" Rika screamed.

"Just find the pin," Katniss sighed.

"Okay," Rika fidgeted in her net, rummaging through her backpack.

"You see the arrowhead sticking out of the bird's beak? Just snag the rope with it and we'll be as free as olly olly oxen," Katniss said.

"Ahhhh!"

_*crash*_

"Owww...," Rika rubbed her back. "Wow, this pin isn't as useless as I thought," she fastened the mockingjay onto her shirt.

"I told you...," Katniss said. "Now it's time to hunt down some bitches!"

* * *

"Man, I never realized how lonely it is without Bokomon and Neemon," Marcus stumbled around a desert area. "I'm so...thirsty...," he wheezed.

_*spring*_ a bunch of vending machines popped out of the dry dirt.

"Whoa! That's cool!" Marcus ran over to one of the machines. A sign that said "Free Soda!" was taped onto the front of the machine. "Well, if it's free...I'll take a grape pop!" Marcus pushed a purple button.

_*SPRING*_ a huge boxing glove popped out of the vending machine and punched Marcus in the gut.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Marcus got up from the ground and punched the machine.

_*SPRING*_

"That's it buddy! It's fighting time!" Marcus pulled his fist out.

"Only you would pick a fight with a machine," Kari dashed past Marcus.

"Huh-whoa! Kari?" Marcus turned around to see Kari running down the desert.

"Get that bitch!" Katniss yelled.

"Ahhhhh!" Kari screamed.

"What the heck...?" Marcus stared as the two girls were chasing each other.

_*whirrr whirrr whirrr*_

"What is it?" Marcus looked at his digivice, which was erratically spinning around until it pointed in a single direction. "I guess those girls are going in the right way," Marcus noted.

_*spring*_ the boxing glove popped out from the vending machine and punched Marcus in the face.

"Okay! I had enough of you!" Marcus growled. He tackled the machine and slammed his fists on it multiple times.

_*clunk clunk clunk*_ a bunch of soda cans rapidly shot out of the vending machine.

"Aw right! Free soda!" Marcus grabbed a can of grape soda. "Stupid machine! Nobody fucks around with Marcus Damon!" he kicked the vending machine and the front piece fell out.

"Oh my god! Liiiiiight!" Kazu screamed.

"Oh hell no! I wanted free soda, not free Kazu!" Marcus shoved Kazu back into the machine and snapped the front piece back on.

_*bang bang bang*_

"Hah hah, this is funny...now let me outta here! As much as friends like to pull pranks on each other, I would very much appreciate if you would LET ME OUT! Marcus? Marcus?! MARCUS!" Kazu screamed.

* * *

"I'm gonna get you for this!" Rika angrily advanced toward Kari.

"Get away from me, you crazy girl!" Kari tried to lose Rika, and she ran deeper into a futuristic-looking village.

"Not until we kick your ass, bitch!" Katniss yelled.

"How did you even get out of the net?" Kari screamed.

"That doesn't matter! All that matters is that you're gonna get the ass-whooping of the century!" Rika tackled Kari and pinned her down to the ground. She slammed Kari's head against the metal floor multiple times.

"Get off of me, you lunatic!" Kari said in between thrashes.

"Oh boy, you're soooo lucky that I'm trapped inside this digivice right now!" Katniss growled.

_*pfft*_ Kari hawked a loogie in Rika's face.

"Did you just spit in my face...?" Rika looked stunned.

"Yeah, I did!" Kari pushed Rika off and clawed her in the face.

"That's it! It's fighting time!" Rika rolled up her sleeves and decked Kari in the side of her head.

"Oomph," Kari stumbled to the floor.

"Ha," Rika smirked. She was about to kick, but Kari grabbed her by the ankle.

"Don't get cocky," Kari pulled Rika's foot back and Rika crashed to the floor. "Cocky people never win. After all, look at Zoe," Kari got up from the ground and started to walk away.

"Yeah, smart words coming from you. After all, you're so humble...," Rika hooked her foot around Kari's ankle and tripped her. "See, you like being down-to-earth, or more like down on the earth."

"This is a metal floor," Kari said.

"No one asked you!" Rika stepped one foot on Kari's back.

* * *

_TDI Sports Commentary with Lily and Gennai: Slumber Party (Let's Go Crazy Crazy Crazy Till We See The Sun) Edition!_

"Chick fight up in there!" Gennai yelled.

"Chick fight, chick fight, chick fight!" all of the boys and Yolei chanted.

"Kick that bitch's ass, Rika!" Zoe cheered. "Go Rika, go Rika, go!"

"Who do you think is gonna win?" Lily asked.

"I think we all know who Zoe's rooting for...," Koji smirked.

"Who is she rooting for?" Kenta pushed up his glasses.

"Take a wild guess," Henry sighed.

"Uh...Kazu?" Kenta said.

"No. You're the only one voting for Kazu," Henry said.

"Zoe, who are you rooting for? Henry's trying to make me guess, but it's better if I just ask you. After all, you know," Kenta said.

"Rika, duh!" Zoe said. She was wearing a periwinkle Team Rika shirt, periwinkle pajama bottoms, a periwinkle baseball cap.

"Ohhhh...that explains all that periwinkle," Kenta nodded.

"Where did you get all of that merch?" Matt asked.

"At the FFNetwork store! All of this gear comes in 4 colors: periwinkle for Rika, red for Marcus, pink for that trick, and bronze for Kazu. All of the periwinkle stuff is out of stock though," Zoe said.

"Maybe it's because she's wearing it all," Ken muttered into TK's ear.

"Is it wrong that I can't take my eyes off of the fight?" Tommy asked.

"That's perfectly natural. You see, son...," Tai placed his hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"Oh no...this is the worst!" Sora groaned.

"What?" Yoshi asked.

"He's having the talk...," Sora sighed.

"The talk? As in the birds and bees?" Yoshi raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, that one. Tommy's probably the sixteenth kid Tai's lectured, not that I'm counting...," Sora gave herself a facepalm. "On the bright side, this is the first kid who isn't a stranger."

* * *

_The Talk With Tai Kamiya!_

"You see, son...there comes a time in a boy's life where he starts to get some urges," Tai awkwardly started.

"What kind of urges? Like having to pee urges?" Tommy asked.

"Kinda, but not really. I mean, the same body parts are involved but different things happen, ya know? Of course you don't know yet, but that's why we're having this talk," Tai rambled.

"This is painful to watch...," Thomas groaned.

"Why don't you step in, Nerdstein M.D.?" Matt tried to stifle his laughter.

"I'll admit that it would be entertaining to see how Tai will go about this," Thomas said.

"So my pee-pee does more than just have pee come out? What else does it do?" Tommy asked.

"A lot of wonderful things!" Tai exclaimed.

"Like shoot out glitter?" Tommy asked. Koji and Matt snickered in the background.

"No, not exactly, but it does shoot out something that's almost as messy," Tai said.

"Does my pee-pee do anything else cool?" Tommy asked.

"Definitely! For example, it can...it can stand up on its own!" Tai said.

"You're lying!" Tommy said.

"No, I'll prove it to you!" Tai said.

"Tai, please don't!" Izzy groaned.

"I need some visual stimulus!" Tai yelled.

"Here, this should work! I took it from Thomas's bag," Yolei handed Tai a heavy textbook.

"Why did you go through my bag?" Thomas gasped.

"I plan to be a private eye," Yolei winked.

"The Anatomy of Pregnancy, 13th edition...," Tai looked at the cover of the book. "What's so sexy about this?"

"Turn to page 374," Yolei casually said.

"Whoa, boobs! Lots and lots of boobs! Big ones too!" Tai had a big smile on his face. "Wow, Thomas! I didn't know you were a perv!"

"I am not perverse! That is solely for medical purposes!" Thomas turned red.

"Then why are you blushing?" Takuya teased.

"The naked body disgusts me. I don't understand how people fawn over that," Thomas said.

"I'll show you! Just take off your clothes!" Mimi giggled.

"No, thank you. I prefer to keep my clothes on," Thomas said.

"Awww, is Thomas a prude?" Koji smirked.

"I just don't understand what all of this sexual stuff is about. It's overrated if you ask me. If you break it down, sex is basically sticking a man's urinary organ into a woman's urinary organ. I don't see what the big deal about that is," Thomas said.

"Wait...so is that what sex is? That sounds gross!" Tommy had a horrified look on his face.

"No, sometimes you can shove your pee-pee into someone's poophole," Ryo said.

"And sometimes you can shove your pee-pee into someone's mouth!" Gennai cackled.

"Hey! _I_ was giving him the talk, not you!" Tai yelled.

"What does it matter now? The poor kid's scarred for life," Izzy shook his head.

"Waaaaahhhhhh!" Tommy ran underneath a table and cried.

"This is the worst...," Yoshi frowned.

"Trust me, it's not. Out of all the times Tai gave the talk, this was probably one of the calmer reactions he's gotten," Sora sighed.

"And who says Total Drama Island isn't educational?" Lily said to the camera.

* * *

_*whirrrr whirrr whirrr*_

"I can taste the victory! It tastes a little like...grape," Marcus glanced at his digivice and guzzled down some grape soda.

"Fjklahfioehklfjklahlfh," Kari and Rika were still beating each other up.

_*STOMP STOMP STOMP*_

"What the hell?" Marcus tried to steady himself. Rika and Kari paused mid-fight.

"I didn't think we were fighting on a staircase! I thought this was a floor!" Kari gasped.

"This is like that Grand Staircase in Harry Potter!" Katniss blared through Rika's digivice.

"Oh boy, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Rika looked down off the spinning staircase. The floor opened up beneath them to reveal an assembly line of compactors. At the end of the line was an incinerator.

"Hey guys! I thought I'd never catch up to you!" Kazu yelled.

"Great...," Marcus, Rika, and Kari groaned.

"Check this out! If we go down this way, we should totally be safe!" Kazu stood on a rickety wire bridge above their heads. "_Not a death trap!_" he pointed to a red sign and read it. "It has to be true! Signs don't lie!"

"How did he manage being a finalist?" Rika groaned.

"There's a platform on that side of the building. If we can manage to jump onto it, we might be able to get out of here through that hallway next to it," Katniss suggested.

_*whirrr whirrr whirrr*_

"My digivice is saying the same thing," Marcus held up his digivice.

"Ditto," Kari looked at her D-3.

_*rickety rickety rickety*_

"AAAHHHHH!" the wire bridge broke. Kazu fell down and grabbed on to the string of Kari's bikini top.

"Ewww, get off of me!" Kari pried Kazu's fingers off her top.

"Oops...," Kari grimaced.

"Ahhhhh!" Kazu crashed down onto the assembly line.

"Oooh," Rika and Marcus winced as they watched Kazu get crushed by the compactor.

"I can't even watch this...," Marcus looked away as soon as Kazu's flattened body dropped into the incinerator.

_*stomp stomp stomp*_ Kari ran up the staircase, ready to jump onto the platform.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Rika yanked Kari's hair back.

"Ow!" Kari pushed Rika away.

"Ladies, ladies!" Marcus yelled.

"Grrrr...," Rika and Kari gave Marcus a death stare.

"Gah! You know what, keep doing what you're doing! I'm gonna leave now!" Marcus jumped off the staircase and landed safely onto the platform.

"Not so fast!" Kari stopped hitting Rika and jumped onto the platform.

"You're going down girlie!" Rika growled and leaped into the air.

"Nope, you're the one going down!" Kari shoved Rika's forehead back and ran off.

"Arrghhghgeh!" Rika was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform.

"Come on, Rika! Upper body strength!" Katniss yelled.

"How do you expect me to pick up my own body weight?" Rika dangled off the edge of the platform.

"Rika! Take my hand!" Marcus yelled.

"No! Go away, I don't need your help!" Rika shook.

"That's bullcrap! It's pretty much agreed that Kazu's obliterated, so it's down to you, me, and Kari. Do you really want her to beat you?" Marcus asked.

"No, but-"

"No buts! You saved my ass back in Hamburger Village, now it's my turn! I'm only going to help you out just this once!" Marcus yelled.

"Rika! You can't hold on any longer," Katniss said.

"Fine," Rika reluctantly said.

"Uppsie daisy!" Marcus pulled Rika up by the strap on her overalls and stood her up on her feet. "Now you're all on your own! May be odds be ever in your favor!"

"Thanks," Rika pressed her lips together as they ran down the hallway.

_*BOOM*_

"What the hell?!" Marcus screamed. A huge wall crashed down in front of them. There was a hole in the shape of a body outline in the middle of the wall.

"I think you guys have to jump through that...," Katniss said.

"Seriously?" Marcus stared at the hole in the wall.

"This has to be the stupidest thing ever," Rika scoffed as she and Marcus jumped through the hole.

_*BOOM*_

"Another wall?" Marcus whined.

"Now this one's gonna be a blast," Rika commented. Now the body outline was in a plie position.

"I guess we'll just have to get through this...hah hah, get it? Get through it? Like get through the wall?" Katniss joked.

"Very punny," Marcus said flatly. He and Rika jumped through that wall and saw Kari standing in front of another wall.

"How am I supposed to get through this?" Kari blankly stared at the wall. The cutout was in a strange contortionist, Cirque de Soleil-worthy position.

"Like this!" Kazu cracked his back and walked to the wall.

"Kazu?!" everyone gasped.

"You're alive?" Kari asked.

"Sure am, baby!" Kazu winked. He stretched himself out into the nearly impossible position and made it through the wall.

"He really is indestructible...," Rika's jaw dropped.

"I don't have time for this! I've got a race to win!" Marcus punched the wall so that the hole was big enough for him to leap through.

"Look! I can see the finish line!" Kazu exclaimed.

"RIKA RIKA RIKA RIKA!" everyone cheered from yards away.

"That's it, Kazu! You're not winning this time around!" Marcus fell down and pulled Kazu's ankle back.

"Hey!" Kazu whined.

"Thanks, Marcus!" Kari giggled as she dashed ahead of the boys.

"Oh no you don't!" Rika chased after Kari.

"Wow! Kari might be first place!" Kazu commented.

"Not if I had anything to do with it!" Marcus quickly got up from the floor and began sprinting.

"RUN FORREST RUN!" Kazu yelled.

"Oh my god...it's so close! I can't breathe!" Gennai gasped for air.

"It's MINE!" Kari yelled.

_*RIP*_ the ribbon at the finish line tore apart.

"And Marcus wins the gold!" Lily yelled.

"Wicked!" Marcus brushed the ribbon off.

"We thought Rika was going to win, but I guess that's cool that Marcus won," everyone said to each other. "Yay to Marcus!"

"Nice," Marcus said flatly.

"Marcus! I'm so proud of you!" Sarah Damon ran up to hug her son.

"Mom! I knew you would believe in me...unlike some people!" Marcus gave everyone else dirty looks.

"Hey, what the heck? Where'd she get that Team Marcus shirt?" Kristy yelled.

"She wasn't wearing a Team Marcus shirt five minutes ago!" Miki crossed her arms.

"Don't listen to them, son! They're just mad because I was the only one at the party rooting for you!" Sarah laughed nervously.

"Hmmm...," Yamaki munched on a nacho chip.

"Congratulations, Marcus! You're the first contestant to morph into a Power Ranger, you're the first contestant to win TDI File Island, you're the youngest contestant to win TDI File Island, and you're also the oldest contestant to win TDI File Island! How do you feel now that you've broken all of these records?" Lily asked.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm the ultimate fighter, and the ultimate fighter never backs down from a challenge!" Marcus flexed his arm.

"Hey! What's the ultimate fighter without his ultimate partner?"

"Agumon?" Marcus gasped.

"That's right boss!" Agumon grinned.

"And what better to show off the ultimate team than to appear on the front cover of Total Gamer magazine, the most popular gaming magazine in the world!" Lily boomed. "Now, let's get to the really good part! Gennai, present him with his check!"

"Nuh uh," Gennai tightly clutched on to a huge, cardboard check.

"GENNAI!" Lily stomped her foot.

"NO! I wanna keep it!" Gennai weeped.

"Ugh, you're so pathetic," Lily snatched the check from Gennai's arms and handed it to Marcus.

"WHOO HOO!" Marcus held the check up over his head.

"Now, Marcus! What's the first thing you're going to do with your check?" Lily asked.

"I'm taking it to the bank! I can't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces when I cash this baby in!" Marcus winked.

"Uhh...actually, that's just a prop check. It's only for show. This is your real check," Lily handed him a normal check for a million dollars.

"Can I still keep the prop check? It would look awesome on my wall!" Marcus said.

"Yeah, go ahead," Lily shrugged.

"My baby!" Gennai cried.

"Here, you can have this," Lily handed Gennai a bunch of pink Monopoly checks.

"It's just not the same..."

* * *

**An Important Message from Lily!**

"Hey guys, Lily here! First of all, I'd like to thank all of you viewers out there for watching TDI File Island! From the ones who stuck with us from the very beginning to the newborn fans, each and every one of you are deeply appreciated. This show would have never lasted without your support! In fact, thanks to you guys, TDI File Island was the most popular season in the whole TDI series!" Lily smiled.

"No it isn't," Koji smirked.

"Yes it is!" Lily growled.

"No, it isn't," Koji protested.

"Yes it is! The statistics don't lie!" Lily pulled out a pink posterboard.

"That looks like something you threw together five minutes ago," Sora shook her head.

"Besides, where are the numbers? All I see is glitter and unicorns," Takato made a face.

"I guess they fell out. That's not important anyways!" Lily tossed the posterboard to the side. "The important thing is that you fans are awesome, and as a little token of our appreciation, we're going to have a final interview."

"What?!" everyone shrieked.

"I hate those things...," Henry groaned.

"So, submit any questions you have for any of our lovely contestants ASAP! We can't wait to tell you all of the things you're just dying to know! Just submit your questions through comments, or you can PM them to CelticMagic! Thanks for watching!" Lily said.


End file.
